Some mornings, just listening to the coffee brew, smelling that wonderful aroma, as it turns itself into the nectar we crave, is sufficient to soothe the savage breast….. or, would be, were it not 0447 in the AM…. I guess I hit the rack a little early last night, as my eyes popped open, with obvious intent to stay that way, just a few moments ago, and forced me out of bed, somewhat less than breathlessly eager to start the day. Unsure as to whether or not I should piss or go blind, I shall proceed to do neither….
I think, in this instance, I’m going to drop back five yards, and punt….. an option I often forget to utilize. Modern football has lost its class, for the most part, having long ago forfeited any such claim for the excitement of outright savagery, so the strategic advantage of such a play is lost on most students of today’s game. But, it can still go a long way toward improving one’s field position, especially if trapped on one’s own end of the playing field. I enjoy the look of surprise and consternation on Murphy’s face when I boot the ball over his head, sending him scrambling….. One of the few moments I spend with him that I can honestly say I enjoy….
There, that’s done…. I decided, since I was up so damn early, why not be efficient? So, in two short paragraphs, otherwise known as one swell foop, I have completed the morning’s quota of BS and nonsense, and mentioned Murphy. so he can’t say I didn’t give him his due, thereby filling two requirements with one intro…. In addition, it has created three entirely acceptable paragraphs of that intro section, which is practically the whole nine yards…. What a deal!….
Not only that, but in the process, I’ve managed to create enough space in my head to find my mojo. Yep, I just looked over, and there it was, all shiny and rested since my last use, when I got so carried away I….. well, I probably shouldn’t talk about it…. the statute of limitation hasn’t been reached yet…. But, never mind that…. now that I’ve got my mojo firmly tucked away in a pocket, we can go directly to work, and feel confident that, whatever happens, it will be for the best…. A bit naive, maybe, but no choice now but to cast off and set sail….. Shall we Pearl?….
Within the oyster’s shell uncouth
The purest pearl may hide,
Trust me you’ll find a heart of truth
Within that rough inside.
– Mrs. Osgood
At last! It has been ages since I last saw this gem from Mrs. Osgood, whoever she is….. This, as is apparent, is my vision statement for this blog. In fact, it is the best statement I’ve seen, ever, to describe what a Pearl of Virtual Wisdom comprises, as it puts what is important, truth, right where it should be, covered and protected by a smooth surface of alabaster, surrounded by a crusty shell, so ugly it possesses an oddly beautiful strength. The only difference between a POVW and a real pearl then, is that only one of them can be held in your hand…. Otherwise, one is a metaphor for the other, interchangeable in the clever confines of our imagination….
Since I have been serendipitously rewarded for my search today by finding this, which I had misplaced, after a fashion (that means I forgot about it until just now, when I found it again….), I’ll take a moment here to give my disclaimer regarding those self-same Pearls…. to wit: Pearls of Virtual Wisdom are just that…. Virtual Wisdom. They are NOT real wisdom, and any attempt to use them as real wisdom is, well, a risky proposition at best….. The owner of this blog assumes no responsibility for any such misdirected folly, and will only apply first-aid as needed to maintain life signs until the arrival of professional medical personnel.
Okay, there…. sorry, but, you know how those bureaucrats are… Every once in a while I’m required to post that disclaimer, or they won’t renew my anti-irony insurance….. It’s a pain having to pay it…. I really don’t see much difference between insurance sold by corporations, and protection rackets run by organized criminal organizations…. Both are identical in outcome, i.e. you pay money to other people so they guarantee your safety from being robbed, but, only the former is legal…. I don’t understand fully why that is, because, as far as I can see, there isn’t any real difference.
If you pay the mob, then they don’t rob you themselves, so you are protecting yourself from them. With the bureaucrats, you pay them so you are allowed to remain in business, which, if you look at it, is exactly the same thing, but one shuts down the business by destroying the merchandise, the other by shutting the doors with lawsuits….. It’s just one more piece of evidence that government is nothing more than organized crime, only legal…..
Okay, that’s enough blathering…. I just wanted to share the poem with you, and take the opportunity to make sure that everyone who reads my stuff is aware of the delicate nature of its relevance to reality…. Remember, ffolkes, to take everything you see here with a grain of salt, or your favorite savory substance, or take it under advisement…. just take it, please….
“Why are these athletic shoe salesmen following me??” — Zippy the Pinhead
I am silver and exact.
I have no preconceptions.
Whatever I see I swallow immediately
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike.
I am not cruel, only truthful ‚
The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
I think it is part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.
Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me,
Searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully.
She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.
~~ Sylvia Plath
Chauvinism, confession, and guilt…..
I am an asshole. A jerk. A prick. A foul-mouthed, misbegotten excuse for a human being…. I am, as with most of my peers, a hypocrite, and deserving of permanent sentencing to the lowest pits of hell for my perfidy….. What, you might ask, prompted this outburst of self-denigration? Well, let me tell you….
Most of us, at some point or another, sit down from time to time to think about our actions, those we are considering, and those we have acted out in the past, to get some perspective on how those actions have conformed to our ethical and moral beliefs. In other words, we sit in self-judgment; whether we do so to praise or to chastise doesn’t matter, ultimately, as long as it is an honest appraisal, and we do not flinch from owning up to our baseness where it is found…..
This is why I am forced to curse myself…. Because I’m not a Catholic, or any other faith that espouses such mummery, (I don’t mean to pick on Catholics…. some of my best friends, etc….. They’re just the example everyone knows about….)…. Any who, because I’m not of that Tribe, I don’t have the luxury of confessing to a priest, who would then reassure me that I am still one of the Chosen Ones, and send me on my way having learned nothing but a false sense of entitlement. I can’t just pass off what I may have done in my life to some faceless butthead in a dress, who, no doubt, has a great laugh at the expense of the penitent, when he and the other priests get together in the rectory for a few drinks, passing around all the latest tall tales and outtakes from the confessional booth…..
I consider myself to be a morally upright person, and hope that my actions reflect that. But, I know for certain that, like every other human being who ever lived, I don’t always live up to those moral beliefs, and fall from grace on occasion…. If I were a less honest man, I’d say that there were mitigating, or at least explanatory reasons for my failures to hold to my own standards, but, if I tried that, my Dad would kick my ass from now until Thursday the next time I see him, so I’m not going to take that chance…. I take full responsibility for my actions, base and cruel as they were, and no one can hold me in lower regard than I do….
I had considered using this venue as a confessional, to air out my transgressions on the stage of reality, but, I don’t think that would be any more ethical than confessing to a priest…. Confession may make a difference to the penitent, by absolving him/her from any lingering guilt that could adversely affect them (i.e., they feel better about themselves after receiving absolution…), but, in truth, it doesn’t mean a damn thing, as nothing is done to balance the scale, in a karmic sense, especially for whatever creature or person that was the victim of the cruelty. The only act that would mean anything would be for the perpetrator to use the experience to motivate them to two things….
One, to try to repair whatever hurt or pain they have caused another creature…. man, animal, doesn’t matter…. They don’t deserve to be victimized, no matter their form, and ALL one can do, to fix any harm they have caused, is the least they should do…. Second, use the experience as motivation to make a change in themselves, to act with greater understanding, greater compassion, and greater control over themselves and their feelings…. which is what guilt is all about, right?…. The difference is that, when one confesses to a priest, and receives absolution; if the guilt is relieved, then there is no motivation to make any changes in their actions…. They know that none is necessary, as they can relieve themselves of any guilt they may feel by confessing, so why bother?
On the other hand, when one assumes the responsibility for their own actions, the guilt doesn’t go away…. I will never forgive myself for some of the things that I’ve done in my life (nor will I share them in any attempt to gain forgiveness from anyone else…. it’s none of their bloody business….)…. (Besides, that whole confessional thing just sounds too much like a blackmail scheme…. the people who confess are sure putting their fate trustingly into the hands of those priests, aren’t they?). That simple fact, of admitting and owning my guilt, is what keeps me from falling into the same ethical trap I did when I lost my cool, and acted without thinking, or took my feelings out on innocent bystanders….. Not going to happen again, a sentiment which, I’m sure, is NOT what you can reasonably expect from any religicos after confession….
You will note that there are no pearls associated with this discussion…. That’s because I am such an asshole, none was needed to stimulate me into spilling my guts, so to speak…. Besides, I couldn’t find a proper pearl for the beginning of such a somber subject by the time I was ready to write about it…. But, Murphy must have liked the way I dissed myself, because I found these two, which, together, make a good closer for this subject…. Think of them as bookends….
“Character is doing the right thing when nobody’s looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that’s right is to get by, and the only thing that’s wrong is to get caught.” — J. C. Watts
Boy, that hits the nail on the head, doesn’t it?….. I’ve got these two quotes reversed in the order in which they make the most sense, but, given the state of things here, that isn’t surprising, is it…. This is the one that probably should go at the front of this piece, so, just put it there in your mind, okay? Thanks…..
“We tell lies when we are afraid, . . . afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.” — Tad Williams, Spoken by Dr. Morgenes, To Green Angel Tower (part of — Memory, Sorrow and Thorn)
As I began today, so early, I had a moment of trepidation, thinking I might scare off my muse, but finding my mojo apparently made that a groundless fear, as I don’t seem to have found any lack of things to say…. More proof, I suppose, that I just can’t shut myself up….
Ah well, the path to sanity is littered with such misconceptions and folly, and rightly so…. I don’t need all these extra words floating around in my head, just looking for mischief to cause…. You take them, please…. I hope they bring you as much fun to read as they did for me to spew… er, write….
Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
I just sits.