Picture, if you will, a man…. his head is bowed, as he sends his thousand-yard stare into the ground, every line of his figure speaking of inner turmoil and emotional pain. He rocks back on his heels, his head flown back, uttering a cry of absolute anguish to the heavens…. “I’m a fucking idiot!” A huge voice comes out of the sky, and says, “I know….”
Now, if you can extend your imagination just a tad further, placing an image of my face on the man…. Yep, that’s me…. the f__ing idiot. (Why hide the curse now? I dunno, just felt like the thing to do…. Leave me alone, I’m writing on instinct here….) Just one more bozo on the bus, without the advantage of the horn or the big shoes…. and not a squirting flower in sight! SIGH…. it’s a sad day, ffolkes, for sure….
What’s all the fuss about, you ask? Who knows?…. No, actually, this is all just putting myself through the wringer for the dumb-ass move I made yesterday…. I was reading the Pearl from yesterday, and noted that my rant spoke to a certain issue, which I glibly described as “global warming and overpopulation”, whereupon, just as if I knew what I was talking about, I proceeded to speak about climate change….
Now, climate change is indeed an issue of note, and it IS connected directly to the issue of global warming… but, neither is directly connected to overpopulation, which was NOT the issue whereof I intended to speak…. Any who, it should have read “global warming and climate change” which is what the POTUS was addressing; overpopulation, while a serious issue, is not the same thing, and should not have been anywhere near the discussion at the time…..
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa…. consider that I’ve said that six times, just like the priest would want me to do…. Besides, what can we do now about population control? Hand out more condoms? Doesn’t seem to be working too well at this point, so maybe we should re-think that particular issue, eh?
Well, the intro isn’t the place to worry about that kind of stuff…. though, it has yet to be determined exactly what kind of stuff DOES go into an intro around here… That particular item seems to change its shape every day, as I go through new and exciting (hopefully) formats and scenarios in my search for the ultimate opening. My random approach doesn’t seem very effective in finding same, but, hey, it keeps me off the streets in the morning, so, bonus….
I’m now certain I’ve piddled around long enough to call it a wrap on this intro section, but, even if I weren’t, I’d stop here, as I’m completely out of ideas about where to go with it….. Heading out for the daily dive seems like the best solution all around…. Shall we Pearl?…..
“Capt’n! The spellchecker kinna take this abuse!” — Lt. Commander Montgomery Scott
“Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.” — Brendan Hills
Smart Bee is having a tough morning, pearl-wise; I can’t seem to find a single worthy quote…. so, I’m going to fall back on my vast repertoire of Past Pearls, which I try not to abuse by using too often. In fact, I think this is only the second time in almost two years I’ve done so…. Any who, this particular pearl is a tough one… I wrote it last July, on the third of that month, and it remains as valid today as it was then…. Perhaps more so, as the situation has changed not at all, nor will it, until people start to realize the extent of the problem…. I won’t say “enjoy”, as you won’t…. I will say, “listen up, please”…..
“I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.” — Chang-tzu, Taoist
So, as it turns out, I am a coward. What I mean by that is, when it comes to emotional pain, I will go through all sorts of contortions to avoid it. I will distract myself, I’ll deny, I’ll forget…. all time-tested methods of putting something unpleasant aside. I can say in my own defense that a) I’ve already experienced enough turmoil in my life, and don’t need more, and b) I have yet to start lying to myself about being a coward in this area…..
How does the butterfly koan apply? That’s for me to know, and you to figure out…. No, really, sorry, I didn’t mean that, just fooling around. It applies because the world exists in duality; we perceive that universe by defining and evaluating those dualities according to their relation to each other (light/dark, etc.) as well as according to our own preconceptions and/or preferences. Sometimes what we perceive is clear and readily defined, while at other times, one can make no “heads or tails” of what we see, hear, taste, smell, or feel. And sometimes, the perceptions are just so powerful that we cannot easily deal with what we are perceiving, so we retreat from them. Or I do, anyway….
Now, my cowardice in this respect is, perhaps, justifiable. I put myself through a lot of hard times during certain periods in my life, and the emotional toll was heavy. I am now more in balance, but the feelings and thoughts I had can come back in full force, at unexpected moments… Such is the case when I read about the sex trade, and think about how many of my sisters in the world are still being abused, physically and mentally, by the misogynistic assholes that perpetrate the atrocities so prevalent in that trade.
I have previously re-blogged several articles from blog sites written by women who have survived, and left, the sex trade. The stories they tell, and the insights they have come to have, are incredibly powerful, and wrenching to the emotions. It is a rare thing for me to be able to stop myself from crying after reading the first paragraph, and it can take me ten minutes to read a two page article, as I have to stop and compose myself before returning to the story being related. I am always astounded by the strength of mind it took for them to get where they are, and I grieve for the pain and misery they still must contend with, as survivors of Hell, burdened with PTSD (my old friend….).
Reading their stories also has the effect on me of wanting to buy a gun, and start eliminating some of the traffickers from the planet. This urge arises out of my anger and guilt, for it is males who perpetrate the atrocities, and I am ashamed of how low others of my gender can sink. But, alas, until I CAN afford to buy one, that little dream will have to wait…..
All I can do is to try to make people aware of the extent of the problem, by directing them to the stories told by the women who have lived through that Hell, with re-blogs and pearls such as this one. That is why I say I’ve been a coward, because my mind cravenly hid the awareness that connects to the outrage I feel when I get started on this issue, not being brave enough to put my emotions up on that higher level….and used the technical glitch I’ve been having with WordPress as an excuse (I’m currently unable to connect to any other WP sites if I’m signed in… I just get sent to a blank page while the browser falls into an infinite loop….).
Hence this somewhat dispassionate discussion of the issue. I’ve managed to get through this without bursting into tears, so I’ll consider myself lucky, and make myself a promise to re-blog for them as soon as I can get there to do so…. and I’ll not let myself chicken out…. This is an issue that will not go away; we men will never be free until we free our sisters from this bondage….
To read some of these articles yourself, use the WordPress search function to find these three sites, by blog titles…. Diary of A Dublin Call Girl; rmott62- Are We Not Human?; and Stella Mar, a Manhattan Call Girl…. All three have powerful messages that need to be spread around the planet….
For some reason, this just seemed to fit…. not that I have any intent of checking out of this hotel anytime soon…. But, it kind of goes along with the other material…. It’s a bit long, but I know that won’t scare any of MY readers…. Any who, please enjoy a bit of the classics….
A Poet’s Epitaph
Art thou a Statist in the van
Of public conflicts trained and bred?
–First learn to love one living man;
‘Then’ may’st thou think upon the dead.
A Lawyer art thou?–draw not nigh!
Go, carry to some fitter place
The keenness of that practised eye,
The hardness of that sallow face.
Art thou a Man of purple cheer?
A rosy Man, right plump to see?
Approach; yet, Doctor, not too near,
This grave no cushion is for thee.
Or art thou one of gallant pride,
A Soldier and no man of chaff?
Welcome!–but lay thy sword aside,
And lean upon a peasant’s staff.
Physician art thou? one, all eyes,
Philosopher! a fingering slave,
One that would peep and botanise
Upon his mother’s grave?
Wrapt closely in thy sensual fleece,
O turn aside,–and take, I pray,
That he below may rest in peace,
Thy ever-dwindling soul, away!
A Moralist perchance appears;
Led, Heaven knows how! to this poor sod:
And he has neither eyes nor ears;
Himself his world, and his own God;
One to whose smooth-rubbed soul can cling
Nor form, nor feeling, great or small;
A reasoning, self-sufficing thing,
An intellectual All-in-all!
Shut close the door; press down the latch;
Sleep in thy intellectual crust;
Nor lose ten tickings of thy watch
Near this unprofitable dust.
But who is He, with modest looks,
And clad in homely russet brown?
He murmurs near the running brooks
A music sweeter than their own.
He is retired as noontide dew,
Or fountain in a noon-day grove;
And you must love him, ere to you
He will seem worthy of your love.
The outward shows of sky and earth,
Of hill and valley, he has viewed;
And impulses of deeper birth
Have come to him in solitude.
In common things that round us lie
Some random truths he can impart,–
The harvest of a quiet eye
That broods and sleeps on his own heart.
But he is weak; both Man and Boy,
Hath been an idler in the land;
Contented if he might enjoy
The things which others understand.
–Come hither in thy hour of strength;
Come, weak as is a breaking wave!
Here stretch thy body at full length;
Or build thy house upon this grave.
~~ William Wordsworth
In keeping with today’s theme, I’m re-printing here a pearl, part of a five-section pearl, from when I was even more prolific than now. This one is from a Pearl I posted on March 24, 2012…. It’s got a little bit of everything in it…. enjoy!
Here are a few historical observations on our preferred form of public entertainment……
“Democracy, which is a charming form of government, full of variety and disorder, and dispensing a sort of equality to equals and unequals alike.” — Plato, The Republic. Book VIII. 558
“Democracy is more cruel than wars or tyrants.” — Seneca, Epistulae morales ad Lucilium CIV, c. 63
“Termiter’s argument that God is His own grandmother generated a surprising amount of controversy among Church leaders, who on the one hand considered the argument unsupported by scripture but on the other hand were unwilling to risk offending God’s grandmother.” — Len Cool, American Pie
(Okay, it’s not political, but, hey, funny, right?….) (and kind of appropriate, if I stop to think about it…..)
(kind of sounds similar to the current controversy over creationism and evolution….)
“I contemplate with sovereign reverence the act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should ‘make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,’ thus building a wall of separation between church and state.” — Thomas Jefferson, to the Danbury (Connecticut) Baptist Association in 1802
(Whoops! How’d he get in here?….)
Man is a religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion – several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn’t straight.” — Mark Twain — The Damned Human Race
(Okay, okay…. busted! Religion and politics seem to have merged in my mind this morning…. funny how that happens…. but it still fits the category, so, deal….)
and, on a final note, let’s combine the two previously revealed (reviled?) culprits in one fine, almost-a-limerick plea for mercy….
Dear Lord, observe this bended knee
This visage meek and humble,
And hear this confidential plea
Voiced in reverent mumble:
Give me Shylock, give me Fagin
But O God spare me Ronald Reagan!
– Ansel Adams
If God is omnipotent, why does he need my money? (Sorry, couldn’t resist…. I’m done for now…..)
See? Not everything from the past is old and grey and useless…. sometimes it’s new, black and white, and useless….
So, you may have noted that today’s Pearl contained very little new material…. This is due to necessity, which dictates I take a trip to Kaiser this morning, so, I opted to produce a Pearl out of the past, since I’ve got so much material, not even I have any idea just how much there is to choose from… but, it’s a LOT!
So, to save some time, I raided the past…. Deal with it, is all I can suggest…. As I look back over what I’ve done today, I find it hangs together pretty well…. I’m keeping it, as it fits my needs perfectly…. As we are all humans here, you will naturally expect me to act in a self-serving manner, so, it won’t surprise you to be escorted out briskly, now that I’m done with you…. See ya…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
I just sits.