A soft breeze stirs the fragrant air, scents of exotic flowers mingling with the calls of sea birds circling over the beach, adding to the sense of serene isolation. Slow, rhythmic, the murmur of waves brushing against the sandy shore serve as background to the racing thoughts of the man lying on a lounge chair, near the sparkling water of the infinity pool. Long, pale, slender, the man sits up, brushing a hand through his luxurious hair, as he gazes around the pool area, constantly searching for anomalous shadows. His eyes, dark, with heavy brows, narrow in speculation as the door leading to the bar flies open, emitting a blast of sound from the blaring jukebox, rudely dispelling the quiet of the night…..
Not too shabby, I think, but, I’m stuck right where I left it, with no clue as to where to go from there. Too many choices, I suppose, and given my track record over the last two days, I’m not going to make any choices whatsoever…. What a bloody cock-up, as my friends across the water would say, if they were as vulgar as I am…. There were some rather good high points, but, several moments of sheer terror, as I realized just how bozoid I can be sometimes, and embarrassment washed over me for the stupidity I displayed…. Yes, ffolkes, me, stupid, all in the same sentence, and quite more intimately acquainted than intended, let me assure you…..
First, the EOA episode on Monday, when I transposed the names of Ayn Rand and Anais Nin in my head, so firmly that I exchanged one for the other several times in one rant, all about the WRONG person’s ideas…. I think the correct words to use would be….. hang on a sec, the thesaurus is across the room….. okay, that would be…. either “tiresomely ignorant” or “completely lacking in wit”, take your pick. Both are appropriate, though each is just slightly short of the mark in terms of degree…. perhaps, “incredibly dim” would fit best….
Yes, almost a thousand words, possibly more, all based on my dyslexic confusion of authors who were not even the same sex, much less clones that could be confused on sight…. No, just my own stupid habit of not checking what is coming out of my head for accuracy, a habit that I need to break, as it doesn’t fit with my own beliefs in the scientific method. Checking sources for accuracy should be automatic, and I skip that step far too often…. There is no possible excuse other than laziness, and that is an unacceptable reason, in my book….
Second in my list of faux pas, I had a long, very interesting dialogue with a reader from Europe (I know this, because Spell Checker tells me…. the spelling of two words by the Euro method, i.e. “ise” instead of “ize” at the end, is a dead giveaway….). We spent a couple of hours trading comments, and I was thoroughly charmed to be so gently put in my place as a curmudgeon gone mad…. This reader was compassionate, sensible, and erudite, and used many of my own thoughts to remind me of why I should hold on to hope for the future. I was very pleased to have met and traded ideas with such a fine philosopher…. a philosopher whom I assumed was a man, but, in reality is a woman….. DOH! (Picture an old fart slapping his forehead with his open hand….)
Yes, once again, in my mad rush to fulfill my own internal agenda, I skipped over details that would have given me a clue to the fact that my assumptions were erroneous. I’m getting tired of the embarrassment factor, and will, you can be sure, making some procedural changes in my head. I’ll also be watching out much more closely to make sure that what I’m saying, and writing, is true and complete to the best of my knowledge. Reality doesn’t DEMAND that we pay heed to the principle of notary public, but, it sure makes it less frequently embarrassing if we do….
Well, having consumed a pretty fair-sized portion of crow, I am going to try to suppress my nausea long enough to at least finish this intro, and then get on with the dive for today. I think I’ve covered all I need to in regards an apology; now all I have to do is wait for the guilt and angst to fade away…. no worries. I know that this intro is risking losing interest, but, I had to get this stuff out of my head, to make room for all the nonsense that needs to be let out into the light of day, before it causes any further trouble…. Better out than in, right?…. Shall we Pearl?…..
“For getting attention, there’s nothing like a good, big, mistake!” — Bozo the Clown, Tuesday, 1963
Okay, here is the deal…. Each of the following is a pearl of virtual wisdom, and each one can be categorized into a different group than each of the others, to wit, in order: Art, Science, Politics, Sex and Psychology (Sexy Psychology), and Philosophy. As you can see, the categories together make a fairly wide, fairly accurate description of Life at Large, or as we call it here, Consensual Reality. Each has its own message for the universe, with its own kernel of wisdom buried inside….
However, even though they don’t seem to have anything at all to do with one another, they are all subsets of the larger category, and, as such, worthy of inclusion here. The point they make, taken together, would probably drive the average reader insane, but, I have faith and trust in the perspicacity and flexibility of the readers of this blog…. Hell, if they weren’t capable of those characteristics, they wouldn’t be hanging around here for long…. Taken together, the point is blunted, but nonetheless effectively wise, as virtual wisdom goes….
Due to the patently obscure nature of this pearl, not only will it NOT be on the Final Test, but, you will receive bonus points for never mentioning where you saw it…. We here at ECR will, in turn, never mention that you were here…. Don’t forget your helmets and body armor….
‘I don’t mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don’t understand.” — Sir Edward Appleton
Relativity for Children: Time moves slower in a fast moving vehicle. — Smart Bee
“One claim for the value of the British monarchy is that its existence precludes anyone from aspiring to absolute rule. I have a theory that the American presidency serves a similar purpose, precluding anyone from managing the government.” — Smart Bee
“One of the prison psychiatrists asked me if I thought sex was dirty, and I said it is if you’re doing it right.” — Woody Allen, “Take the Money and Run”
“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.” — Buddha (B.C. 568-488)
I think they made a movie about these pearls…. starring Jack Nicholson, in one of his finest performances.. It was called, “Five Easy Pieces”, and I never understood it at all, until reading this pearl…. Who knew?…. :-)
Lately I’ve been exploring the poetry of Sylvia Plath, a poetess I’d never delved into before last year, for reasons that are irrelevant to this discussion. What I’ve found is an incredibly talented wordsmith, and a ton of poems I haven’t previously enjoyed…. so, I’m doing so now…. This one doesn’t have any particularly intimate meaning for me, I just like it, as it is a good demonstration of the depth of her talent…. Enjoy!
I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
Whatever I see I swallow immediately
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike.
I am not cruel, only truthful ‚
The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
I think it is part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.
Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me,
Searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully.
She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.
~~ Sylvia Plath
Wow… those last two lines just grasp your shirt-front and shake, don’t they?….. Whew!…. :-)
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” — Mark Twain
As I sit here, I can almost feel myself getting older…. It seems to be a predilection of being this age, that one becomes somewhat introspective, looking back over our time here on Earth, and making judgments about what we’ve done, or are guilty of leaving undone, in our lives. This preoccupation seems to be innate, but, I don’t necessarily see a lot of it in others my age, in my experiences out in society at large.
Here, on WordPress, the normal demographics of population diversity seems to run a bit higher, in that respect, than it does out in the Big Blue Room…. probably something to do with the fact that those here on this site are, if nothing else, highly educated enough, and/or affluent enough, to partake in the Internet’s community dialogue…. Sometimes, it’s hard to remember that there are still millions of folks out there who have never, and never will, see any of what transpires here, for whatever reason, educational, financial, or merely indifference…. In that group of people, those my age are concerned much of the time with survival, and tend to be directed outward, to deal with the mechanics of that critical issue.
To that group, introspection is a luxury they cannot afford to indulge in themselves, as it takes time away from activities and mental attitudes necessary for surviving. I have been living on the edge of that group for a couple of years now, and can only be thankful that I am close enough to the edge to be able to afford this luxury; I do have to make sacrifices to have it, so I appreciate it a lot. It was a pain in the derrière, literally, to have to leave home to find internet access, so, not having to do so is a big plus for me.
In my time of introspection, I’ve spent a lot of it fighting off guilt, for the things I’ve done in my life that don’t meet with my own approval, as so aptly referred to by Mr. Twain. We all have those things hidden in our memories, those failures of ethical or moral standards we set for ourselves, and looking back on them is hard, as there is nothing we can do to change it. We have to learn to forgive ourselves for such transgressions, because no one else, not even God, if ones choose to believe in the traditional dogma, can change the past. (Query: Can God build a wall so strong He can’t knock it down, or a rock so heavy He can’t pick it up?…. Just wondered; sorry, little side trip….)
Since we cannot change the past, nor go back and try to make things better, if nothing else, we must learn to hold those little kernels of painful memory inside us, and find a way to deal with the little nugget of discomfort that will always accompany such memories. It is a delicate procedure, as we must deal with chastising and scolding our own selves, while still maintaining our self-love, without which we can never be comfortable, or comforted. One cannot accept love from another unless they feel it is deserved; it will sour and spoil all the flavor of the interaction, dooming it to failure, and pain.
How do we maintain this self-image of someone who is worthy of being loved by others? Well, that, my friends, is a very long story, indeed, and one I’m not going to start here and now, as it could be days before I surfaced again, and we’re already at the point where most folk’s minds, as well as those of regular ffolkes, will be losing interest, unless I pull some literary magic, or set off some figurative fireworks. Currently, my supply of fireworks is low, so we’ll leave a deeper discussion of this subject for another time. For now, let me say this….
We are all creatures of a Universe that puts a premium on flexibility, especially of mind. This flexibility is enhanced when we spend time on ourselves, in introspection, and inner dialogue, and is ultimately part of what is the only way to ever really achieve any balance or stability in life. It gives us the proper perspective on how we fit into the rest of the picture, and points the way to the greatest degree of successful interaction with the other parts of that universe. It is the best way to stay in touch with what we are, and what we need to be, to survive, and to make our lives meaningful in some way.
“We are injured and hurt emotionally – not so much by other people or what they say or don’t say – but by our own attitude and our own response.” — Maxwell Maltz, “Psycho-Cybernetics”
Well worth a dollar, or a moment or two of your time, I’d say…. Try something new and different, spend some time in your own head…. Of course, one should (careful, there’s that word!….) be cautious in this, as with any potentially mind-altering activity like mindful introspection…. You never know when a preconceived notion will jump up and bite you….. and those ingrained prejudices can be hard to spot, as they tend to hide behind walls of ignorance and fear….. Remember yesterday’s pearl…. The Snark might actually be a Boojum…. Catch it, cook it, eat it with some fava beans and a nice Chianti, and then get on with your life…. :-)
All things considered, today’s effort will make the grade…. which, given the struggle I had to produce it, is a good thing. I feel as if I’ve gone six rounds with the champ…. but, I think I won, if only on points awarded for honesty, and the bruises will fade in time….. Since I can’t really think of anything further I can do to cause trouble, or to cure any, I guess I’ll go find something constructive to do until the library opens, and I can go find a book to read…. gigoid has spoken; so be it….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
I just sits.