A few days ago, I received a notification from WordPress that I had reached my second anniversary of publishing this blog. At the time, I had posted 792 times, about 30 of which were re-blogs. I find myself uncertain of how I feel about it, beyond the initial sense of accomplishment at having completed that many posts, regardless of their worth as literature. As therapy, it wasn’t the most elegant or intensive I’ve ever performed, but, it worked, having kept me from turning into a blithering idiot, sitting on the floor, dirty, rocking and chanting to myself while I pick at my skin….
Now, I’ll admit, it is not a foregone conclusion that I wouldn’t have made it through my period of isolation and poverty without going mad, though some would say that destination isn’t a very long journey for me, considering where I am starting from…. but, I know myself, and though I’ve never given in to the world’s intense pressure before, I am not sure I was strong enough, physically, or emotionally, to make it as well as I did, by using my writing as a way to keep from making that journey. Since I did make it through without succumbing to my pain and fear, it becomes a moot point, and isn’t something I particularly wish to dwell upon; in contrast to what I wrote much of the time, I didn’t much enjoy that time, not after Noah passed on, and I became truly alone…..
Today, I am past that time, and the issues that caused that state of mind are no longer present. This has changed my inner state, as might be expected, making me much stronger, as I’m not so often beset and overcome by any of my fears, because the means to deal with those fears is now part of my bag of resources. It’s hard to understand just how powerful it can affect one’s entire existence to be free of fear…. It has a way of freeing the mind, removing all the distracting emotional content from certain patterns of thought, content that can slow down the mind, or affect its ability to adapt and deal with the issues that arise in our lives…. Without fear to slow us down, we are much better able to enjoy life, as it doesn’t cause us the same emotional distress as when we allow the fear to hold sway….
In truth, this is a lesson I learned long ago, when I was first involved in the martial arts, and knowing it allowed me to work in a field that encompassed a lot of violence, without ever getting injured physically…. mentally is another story, but, this is just the intro section, and we’re already off track by quite a distance, so we’ll not get into that just now…. However, suffice it to say, fear, of the unknown, of violence, or based on lack of self-confidence, is a very powerful force in our lives, and it is critical for us to understand it in ourselves, and learn how to keep it from affecting how we deal with the world. When we try to deal with the universe under the influence of our fears, we fail, every time…. When we learn to let our fear pass over, and through us, without letting it alter our behavior, then we learn to succeed in the world….
Simply put, fear can either make our life a living hell, or we can remove its influence, refusing to allow it to affect how we will live, and, as a result, learn to enjoy the inner peace that comes with that knowledge…. It’s really that simple, ffolkes, and not all that hard, once one gives up the attachment to their fears that has developed over time…. People are often afraid to give them up, as they are more afraid of what is out there to replace them…. Like most folks, they are happier with the devil they know…. So be it, it is only themselves that will suffer for that…. Well, until they get elected, then, their fear and ignorance has a tendency to spill over…. Any who….
Shall we Pearl?….
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.
— Theodore Roethke
The above introduction may have clued y’all in to where my head is today, to wit: your guess is as good as mine….. No, I’m distracted today, by thoughts of moving at the end of the month (week), fragments of a poem that has been percolating, stuff to do today out in the BBR, and, of course, the background muttering that is always there, my personal running commentary on what I perceive, and what my inner self is thinking about it…. What, y’all don’t do that? Hmm…. well, I have always had this little voice running in the back of my mind, sort of like an inner sportscaster/color commentator, looking at the world through my eyes, and commenting on what they see, and what I feel about it…..
“Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thought that is forever flowing through one’s head.” — Mark Twain
Does this make me strange? Probably…. I don’t much care, as whoever it is in there doing the commentary is a frigging funny guy, constantly cracking me up with the reactions they give to what I see or hear….. But, I digress, as usual….
This will be an old-school pearl, because that is what I want to do now, and that’s the way it is, so, that’s the way it will be…. I guess I’m getting cranky, what with all the blather I’ve had to put out so far, just to get to this point…. I’m not used to so much typing right off the bat…. Carpal tunnel’s starting to complain, so, we’d best go on to the next stage…. I don’t know, or can’t say, just what the search parameters for this one will be, as I haven’t decided, and it is time to begin, so, tread carefully…. the path could get a bit dodgy to see, and you don’t want to get off the path….
“Share everything. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Put things back where you found them.” — Robert Fulghum, “Everything I Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten…”
“Be polite to all, but intimate with few.” — Thomas Jefferson
“A child is a person who can’t understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.” — Doug Larson
“My father was a God-fearing man, but he never missed a copy of the New York Times, either.” — E. B. White
“It is not a fish until it is on the bank.” — Irish Proverb
“Don’t try to have the last word. You might get it.” — Lazarus Long
“I feel better about world problems now!” — Zippy the Pinhead
Well, that came out better than I’d hoped…. a bit loose around the edges, but still fairly obscure… I like it, so it stays…. No more argument, now, I’ve decided, and that’s it…. Never mind…. We’ll just go on now, and forget it ever happened…
The last couplet of this poem is a somewhat famous quote, used to illustrate many points of discussion….. I just like the poem itself….
There Shakespeare, on whose forehead climb
The crowns o’ the world; oh, eyes sublime
With tears and laughter for all time!
And Chaucer, with his infantine
Familiar clasp of things divine.
And Marlowe, Webster, Fletcher, Ben,
Whose fire-hearts sowed our furrows when
The world was worthy of such men.
Knowledge by suffering entereth,
And life is perfected by death.
~~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning ~~
I am indeed feeling “differently” today…. so much so that my mind has created a new kind of pearl…. Below are three quotes/statements of position/ideas…. Together, they form a pretty good scale of life, in terms of how it needs to be lived…. These describe the high end of the scale, the low end, and, a middle point, which will show the way…. Enjoy this new kind of puzzle for the mind, ffolkes, and be prepared to use your anti-motion sickness pills, as there are some rather sharp turns along the way to the end of this particular ride…..
Go placidly amid the noise and waste and remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof. Avoid quiet and passive persons unless you are in need of sleep. Rotate your tires. Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself and heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys; know what to kiss and when. Consider that two wrongs never make a right but that three do. Wherever possible, put people on hold. Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment and despite the changing fortunes of time, there is always a big future in computer maintenance … Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet. Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face … Reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Milwaukee. You are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here, and whether you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back. Therefore make peace with your God whatever you conceive him to be–Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin. With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal, the world continues to deteriorate. Give up. — Tony Hendra
“Not all who wander are lost.” — J. R. R. Tolkien
“We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the center of their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prophet, nor Christians that Shinto best expresses their spiritual concerns, to say nothing of the fact that we may not be able to get Christians to agree among themselves about their relationship to God. But all will agree on a proposition that they possess profound spiritual resources. If, in addition, we can get them to accept the further proposition that whatever form the Deity may have in their own theology, the Deity is not only external, but internal and acts through them, and they themselves give proof or disproof of the Deity in what they do and think; if this further proposition can be accepted, then we come that much closer to a truly religious situation on earth.” — Norman Cousins, from his book “Human Options”
I am, as usual, unsure whether or not what I’ve done today is what can be called literature, but, it is definitely done, so, it will have to do for the time being…. I’ve got too much to do today to start over, even if I go to the archives, and I’m not going there today…. Any who, let’s see just what happened here this morning….
Okay, well, that’s different; what happened is completely outside my experience, and well beyond my ability to analyze, or describe in any meaningful way… Nothing new there, right? Since it’s done, and I have so much to do, I pronounce it finished, and will now take my leave, post haste… Until tomorrow….
Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest Carole…
and everyone else, too…
When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.
Which is Why….
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
I just sits.