“Beginnings are delicate times” — Princess Irulan, from Dune, by Frank Herbert

The Princess was a Bene Gesserit scholar in the book, the contracted wife of the Emperor of the Galaxy, Muad ‘Dib, Paul Atreides, Spirit of Shai-hulud, married to him to seal the peace with House Corrino, and legitimize his ascension. None of this, of course, means anything outside the book, but it sounds impressive, doesn’t it? And the statement she makes is oh, so true!

The entire balance of events in any situation involving people depends heavily on the impressions made in the beginning. Wars have been fought, and have ended, because of what happened when two opposing forces meet for the first time. Initial impressions are the strongest, and the most difficult to change. Thus it becomes an important tool for those with power to examine a situation closely, before committing anything, and to take care to create the desired impression at first contact.

This concept applies in many other life events. As well, it is a most relevant concept in literature, and can be considered essential knowledge for me and other would-be writers. The beginning of a story, or a book, or an essay, or even a medical/psychiatric report, is very important to fulfilling the purpose of writing whatever it may be. At least, it is important if the writer wants the reader to continue reading after the opening paragraph. If those first words don’t grab the reader’s attention, and pin it to the page, then there is little hope of ever getting them to read, or to consider what is being written as anything other than a waste of time….. That is human nature, and isn’t going to change.

So, if I have your attention now, we can get on with the reason we are here, to Pearl.  With no further mucking about, let’s have at it, shall we?…..
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Why shouldn’t WOMEN have to put the toilet seat back UP?! — Smart Bee

When I was working, a popular subject for water-cooler discussion was the ongoing, never-ending war between the sexes. For some reason not clear to me, men and women seem to feel as if they are in competition with each other, in a contest to find the most annoying things about the other sex, and make fun of them for those qualities. One of the typical conflicts between the two has always been the toilet seat, a conflict arising out of the very basic differences in the plumbing system of each gender. Men are pointers, women are setters, and the difference is critical only because we both use the same appliance to deal with our needs.

The above question is often asked by men, usually after an argument over having failed to put it down after using the facilities. Being a man, it naturally seems to be a relevant question to me, but for some reason it just seems to piss off the woman involved. I mean, it DOES have hinges; the process of moving it up and down isn’t rocket science, and isn’t particularly hard to figure out. But, due to the ongoing hostilities, women have decreed that it is the responsibility of men to make sure the seat is in the down position, ready for the female to use. How this came to be will, no doubt, forever remains a mystery, but is nonetheless true.

“There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want men.” — George Burns

No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see. — Taoist Proverb

This little gem from Taoist philosophy holds the key to the end of the war. If men and women can, just for a few moments, look at the matter with logic, with the purpose of improving the situation, I believe the answers will make themselves apparent. One answer, in my mind, needs no physical effort at all; it involves a difficulty, but only because people find it difficult to make changes in themselves. If both men and women could, and would, put aside the anger and emotional investment in the conflict, then one small attitude adjustment would suffice to remove the entire problem…..

If men could develop some sensitivity (I know, tough when it’s essentially foreign to their nature, but still possible to develop….), then they could see how leaving it up could conceivably cause problems for those who must sit down to use the appliance. As a matter of fact, this is how I personally became aware of the solution, for I once sat down to use the toilet, and found myself falling into the bowl, as someone had left the seat up, and I hadn’t noticed. It wasn’t the most pleasant of experiences, and from that time on, I was more conscientious about putting it down…. so, just a bit of empathy, and that won’t be a problem for men to take the second to put the seat down…..

Women would also need to develop more empathy for men for the solution to work for them. The toilet seat is on hinges, and as mentioned, isn’t particularly hard to learn how to use. It’s just up or down, and no other choices. So, some tolerance for the forgetfulness that is part of the male nature would go a long way toward solving the bitterness when they leave it up; just put it down for goodness sake, and don’t complicate the issue with anger and emotional storms, all over a moment that in other situations would prompt the woman to feel affection for the man’s charming childishness…..