As I approach the creation of yet another day’s Pearl of Virtual Wisdom, I find myself, once again, torn completely into mental shreds, by my self-inflected, arguably insane adherence to this chosen duty…. I’ve been sitting here in front of the computer screen, staring blankly at the vast whiteness, hoping beyond hope to find some small bit of inspiration, or some fantastic, interesting direction to take that will possibly stimulate what little creative talent I possess, for close to 55 minutes now, and this bit of whiny confession is the best I’ve been able to come up with…. Pathetic….

It almost makes me want to go back to bed, and try again later…. That would probably be a mistake, though, as I find myself reluctant to get any further away from the routine I’ve established in the past three years or so; my experience is, if I don’t get this done as my first task of the day, the rest of it is all broken up, confused, and susceptible to all sorts of Murphyish intervention….. more so even than the customary number of pokes he takes at me. Since I don’t feel like dealing with any of his shenanigans just now, we’ll keep plugging away at this, and hope for the best…..

That being said, it might be best to jump into the rest of today’s effort right away; that might throw Murphy off, and certainly couldn’t hurt what is happening here, as there’s NOTHING happening in this section, at least, not so far. Other than a bit of minor whining, and some off-the-wall discussion of mundane matters of routine, with some, no doubt, shaky speculation about reality thrown in, we haven’t managed to create anything at all…. well, three paragraphs of inanity, but, that, I believe, won’t even register on any sensors, much less count toward any available prizes….

Thus, therefore, and hence, we’ll just abandon ship again, to head off into the hinterlands of the pearl beds with our usual panache; the pearl beds are to be found, of course, somewhere out there in the massive ocean of knowledge that is the world wide web…. which I’m trying to enjoy, as the deadline approaches for the takeover of the Net by corporate interests, who want to use it as their own cash cow….. Face it, ffolkes, AT&T, Verizon, Comcast, and the other communication giants aren’t going to rest until they have us all under the gun, with the internet as their hostage…. Have you called or emailed the FCC yet to register your opposition to that?…. If not, please do so…. and call your Congressman, too….

There, you’ve also been treated to an impromptu mini-rant; that makes this intro more than merely complete. It makes it legal, as you well know, freeing us to get on with the rest of this mess…. By mess, of course, I refer to the entire process, AND the end result, which, as always, remains somewhat amorphously unpredictable to either describe or contain in one small area…. That’s why we have three sections, after all…. Bet that one slipped by you, didn’t it? I knew it…. This isn’t as easy, or as disorganized as it may seem to the casual observer, so, take heed, and remember to stand back when I throw this switch, right here….

Shall we Pearl?….

“I drank WHAT???????” — Socrates (470?-399 B.C.)

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“A group of the unwilling, composed of the unfit, to do the unnecessary for the unaware in an untidy manner at an untimely moment employing unseemly tactics for the uninformed. Ah, give me a chance at that committee and we can really go nowhere fast and get there before most people even know that we left. This is nothing more than the formula for good government, or it seems that way from what I have been able to observe so far in this life.” — Smart bee

I tried to find out who first said this, but, the one place Google found it listed it several times as a related quote to others, with no attribution given on any of those occasions…. so, Smart Bee gets the credit, for the time being…. It’s here, as you can probably guess, to act as a prelude to a rant….. a phrase which sounds like a fairly good title for a book, or an essay, or, I’ve got it!…. a movie…. ( See Ava Gardner and Cary Grant, starring in the classic epic, “Prelude to a Rant”….) Well, okay, maybe not…. but, it certainly works for one of our protracted discussions about our Beloved Ruling Class, and all they do to, er, for us….

However, I’m not in the mood for one of MY rants; what I’m in the mood for is a Carlinesque rant, a stand-up routine like the ones George used to go through on stage, when he would spend about five minutes straight, talking really fast, New York style, poking sharp, pointed concepts at the leaders of society, barbs so sharp, you could see the fat cats, politicians, preachers, and pundits of every variety, blushing, wincing and bleeding…. Now, if I only had his talent, I’d be set…. I can be funny, on occasion, when I stumble into it; sadly, my skill at that is still a bit underdeveloped for my standards. But, approaching Carlin’s level of genius is out of the question, at least, at this point….

So, we’ll go old-school, using parameters for choosing our pearls that show some teeth, and have the distinct possibility of causing blood loss…. Don’t fret, they can afford to bleed off some; they’re all vampires anyway, and don’t really NEED the blood…. Oh wait, that’s backwards, isn’t it? Okay, so fuck it, I don’t care anyway…. let ’em bleed out, I say, the assholes…. Let’s see if I can make my disgust with government, and those who engage in any form of it, any plainer than that….

“Artificial hearts are nothing new. Politicians have had them for years.” — Mack McGinnis

Voter’s Block: The attempt, however futile, to register dissent with the current political system by simply not voting. — Douglas Coupland, Generation X

“I feel like I am sharing a “CORN-DOG” with NIKITA KHRUSCHEV..” — Zippy the Pinhead

“Every actual State is corrupt.  Good men must not obey laws too well.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), “Politics”

“What would this country be without this great land of ours?” — Ronald W. Reagan, philosopher

“If an ass goes traveling he will not come home a horse.” — Thomas Fuller

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“Waste not the remnant of thy life in those imaginations touching other folk, whereby thou contributest not to the common weal.” — Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121-180 AD) — Meditations, iii, 4

I end up using a lot of quotes from Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, all of which seem, to me, to be pretty well-reasoned, as well as insightful re: human nature, and ethical/moral behavior….. In fact, I find there are as many, or more, insightful, reasoned philosophers who lived before Christ was born, (not that I care that much, but, it’s the point in time our society has agreed upon to use as the basis for our calendar, thus making it the obvious, most convenient, and expedient, choice as a marker, in order to organize people into their time periods for reference and identification), as there are who have lived in the time since then…. Mathematics says there HAS to be more of them in modern society, because there are more people alive, but, somehow, the percentages don’t seem to fit that preconception….

Marcus Aurelius, Socrates, Plato, Plutarch, Aristotle, Cato, the Elder and the Younger, Gautama Buddha, Lao Tzu, Confucius, and a  veritable host of others, from all cultures in the world, passed their wisdom to us throughout the ages, and have always seemed to me to be superior in their reasoning to any of the more modern philosophers to whom I’ve been exposed….. an opinion you will see reflected in the quotes you see here…. I have no apology for that, and don’t plan to change it, so, I hope y’all enjoy them, because they’re not going away…. In fact, I’m going to put together a pearl with parameters limiting it to quotes over 1500 years old…. I would suggest you enjoy it, but, it’s not necessary with such classical wisdom to offer….

“Before enlightenment, one carries water and chops wood. After enlightenment, one carries water and chops wood.” — Zen Proverb

“Whatever you can lose, you should reckon of no account.” — Publius Syrus (42 BC) — Maxim 191

“…for the most part happiness consists in being willing to be what you are.” — Erasmus

“As surgeons keep their instruments and knives always at hand for cases requiring immediate treatment, so shouldst thou have thy thoughts ready to understand things divine and human, remembering in thy every act, even the smallest, how close is the bond that unites the two.” — Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121-180 AD) — Meditations, iii, 13

“Nothing made the horse so fat as the king’s eye.” — Plutarch (46-120 AD) — Of the Training of Children

“He is a fool who lets slip a bird in the hand for a bird in the bush.” — Plutarch (46-120 AD) — Of Garrulity

“The trouble with Nixon is that he’s a serious politics junkie. He’s totally hooked… and like any other junkie, he’s a bummer to have around: especially as President.” — Hunter S. Thompson (b. 1939), journalist — The Great Shark Hunt, Jacket Copy for Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1979)

(Oops! Sorry, that slipped in there due to appending to the clipboard, rather than overwriting…. but, it’s kinda cool, I think, so, it can stay…. just ignore it after reading, and go on to the final pearl, which you see in its designated place, right down there on the line below this….)

“It behooves a prudent person to make trial of everything before arms.” — Terence (185-159 BC) — Act iv, Sc. 7, 19, (789.)

Since we were so rudely interrupted by Hunter’s oh-so-poignant observation of reality, I’ll add one more, to show that the ancients possessed as subtle a sense of humor as any modern pundit, for sure and for certain….

“Anaximander used to assert that the primary cause of all things was the Infinite,–not defining exactly whether he meant air or water or anything else.” — Diogenes Laertius (c. 200 AD) — Anaximander, ii

Well, a bit disjointed, but, it works for me…. So be it…. gigoid has spoken

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Well, I don’t know about y’all, but, I needed that…. or, more accurately, I needed to get that out of my head…. Since it is, I think it would be prudent of me to just take my leave now, to avoid any potential unpleasantness from Murphy, or folks out there who might take offense at one of my little shots at politics, or, more commonly, religion, such as it is…. Nevertheless, I will be back tomorrow, unless the Sun goes dark…. See ya, ffolkes…. Oh, and, I promise, the Wise Old Pine Cone will return soon….