As I closed my front door early this morning, on the way out to drive to work, a large white rabbit, dressed, oddly enough, in a gentleman’s morning attire, complete with, waistcoat, pince nez, and a huge watch chain hanging from the pocket, ran quickly past me, muttering what sounded like imprecations indicative of great agitation…. Well, being familiar with Lewis Carroll, and his pederasty fantasy child, I DIDN’T give chase, not having the time, or the slightest  inclination to attend any tea parties, experiment with mushrooms, or wage any battles of wit with a Cat, especially one as curmudgeonly as the Cheshire who gave Alice all that lip and grief….

Nor, as I’m sure you are aware, did I really see any rabbits this morning…. The first clue it was all fiction was in the first line, when I said I was driving to work…. which is, as you may know, something I no longer do for anyone but myself…. The second was the waistcoat, which, as you may have noted, was mentioned in today’s title, and as such, was NOT expected to be in the body of work today…. There are times, and this is one of them, when I suspect this process is not entirely under my control…. which begs the question, who’s driving this bus of bozos?….

The answer, of course, is that NOBODY is driving the bus, ffolkes…. I’ve given up, and nobody else can be persuaded to take up the gauntlet; I’ve even tried employment agencies, but, after a few stories from the few they’ve sent over got back to them, it’s been hard to find anyone willing to take it on…. I mean, it’s not like it’s a HARD job; it’s just the strangeness that gets to them, I suppose…. Well, that, and the uniforms; I shouldn’t have gone for the one with the epaulets on the shoulder; everyone thinks they look ridiculous, and hates to wear them….

Of course, I’ve had to let everyone go anyway, what with the recession and all. Even though the economy is on the mend, or so they say, (I think they really have no clue about what will actually happen; they just play the odds and guess…. like we all do since Cassandra died….), if I try to pay a living wage, it eats into my meager profits…. which are also non-existent…. All of which is why it’s a dead giveaway for me to say I’m about to drive off to work…. Hard to do with no car, and no job…

All of the above, of course, is just another distraction, a load of bilge-water, best if left to its own devices lest the smell get into your clothing…. I’m up quite late, for me, and suffering again from the usual complement of painful joints, hips, and the concomitant deleterious effect on my energy, and motivation…. I have to bust through the reluctance to move at all, in order to get past the point where it holds me down, or up, whichever direction I’m going at the time…. Then, well, let’s not get any more into that; it’s just encouraging me to whine….

Instead, I’m going to get on with what we have in store for today, whatever that might be…. Once again, your guess is as good as mine, as to what that may be, or look like…. So, we’ll use trusty method #4, and get on with it….

Shall we Pearl?….

“Acquittal of the guilty damns the judge.” — Horace

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“Do not be angry with me if I tell you the truth.” — Socrates (470?-399 B.C.)

Yarrr! Avast, ye land lubbers! Stand your ground, and pay heed!….

The pirate phenomenon came to my town this weekend, in the format of a festival…. A consumer’s delight, where about a hundred or so craft, food, & beverage vendors, singing and musical groups, stage production companies, and otherwise normal folks get together dressed up like pirates, talking like pirates, and generally celebrating the pirate culture, such as it was….. It’s all pretty romanticized, considering the whole scenario of piracy as a way of life; all of the cool, frosty stuff is kept, and all the pain, misery, abuse, and poverty that went along with most of it is ignored….

The historical period when piracy on the high seas was popular, back a few hundred years, was a lot more brutal on the general public than most folks realize, but, hey, that’s America for you…. just look at the parts you want to see, and ignore what you don’t…. They did have their priorities straight, though…. The ATM machines were quite prominent, in three locations for the consumer’s convenience, set up by the food & beer area, and in the first row of craft & clothing vendors….

This all sounds a bit curmudgeonly, of course, which is a result of my thoughts AFTER attending…. I actually had a good time, without spending a fortune, and had some decent noms (food, for those of you not current on slang….)….. I had a sausage roll, Scottish style, just as greasy as the one I had in Scotland, and the shepherd’s pie looked pretty good, too…. Sadly, the only liquor available, other than beer, was rum, which does NOT agree with me at all, due to an unfortunate incident in college, where a quart of rum and I had some issues…. I still can’t smell the stuff without a nose curl….

“And here you thought your money was going to waste. Well, a Federal Appeals Court has ordered the FDA to determine whether drugs proposed for Lethal Injection executions are “safe and effective!” — Smart Bee

The festival is one of those uniquely American deals, a consumer celebration designed to bring tourist dollars into a town that is suffering badly from the economic shenanigans of the corporate elite, who have been busily raping the American economy since the days of Ronald Raygun and his band of banker, ex-USC grad buddies, who managed to spew so much BS around, people began to think it didn’t stink…..

I mean, how else can you explain any reasonable, rational person falling for the “trickle down” theory of economics, otherwise known as Reaganomics, a not-so-hidden attempt at outright theft by the government, if ever one was seen? Only sheer, bald-faced lying could have carried that one off…. But, then, remember some of Ronnie’s OTHER moments of truth?…. Such as….

“Trees make more smog than cars.” — R. Reagan

Any who, that’s all over now, except, of course, for the hundred or so years it will take to recover from it…. In the meantime, we have these kinds of distractions to keep us busy, and having fun doing stuff that makes no reasonable sense at all, spending massive amounts of time and money to pursue a lifestyle so hard and so insane, it no longer exists anywhere but Hollywood…. But, as the pictures show, it’s fun, for all ages, and there are a lot of interesting things to see and do….. Here are some pictures that will give an idea of the day…. Enjoy!….

“Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.” — Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

“Somewhere between real and real real.” — Senator Dan Quayle pinpointing their location to reporters — aboard the Quayle campaign plane. — (reported in Wall Street Journal, 10/21/88)

Just WHAT is that octopus doing with that mast?…..

Spare change, anyone?…..

“Oh, God, look at that!”…..

A little tough to romanticize this….. though one does wonder how the bear fits into the story, eh?….

Some people have WAY too much time, and money, on their hands….

An indicator of how strange and perverted the human race is…. This lovely character was the most popular costumed figure wandering the festival grounds, with just about every other person encountered wanting their picture taken with him….

Well there you have it ffolkes, my day hanging out with a segment of America’s most gullible consumers….. It must be the cynic in me that sees not only the romantic side of the whole phenomenon, but, its uglier, less acknowledged economic factors….. But, hey, I found a great deal on a really good dirk, in case I ever want to wear my kilt and heraldry badges….

“Cynicism is disillusioned idealism.” — Harry Kemelman

Let’s go on, shall we?….

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The perfect poem to go along with the odd little rant in section one, here is the first stanza of T.S. Eliot’s epic poem, The Waste Land…. I have provided a link to a site where you can read the rest of the poem, which is quite long, but well worth the time and effort to peruse…. Enjoy!….

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/176735

Okay, I’ve made it this far, which is a surprise to me…. Soon after beginning, some severe arthritic hip pain began to throb in my lower back, and has resisted all attempts to curtail its advance…. Hence, this will be old-school, and just about as quick a pearl as ever was…. I hope….

“I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things.” — Dorothy Parker, The Portable, 1944

“If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.” — Mark Twain

Teach him how to live,
And, oh still harder lesson! how to die.

— Beilby Porteus (1731-1808) — Death, Line 316

“If you would know a man, observe how your cat treats him.” — Smart Bee

“If you can see a thing whole… it seems that it’s always beautiful. Planets, lives…But close up, a world’s all dirt and rocks. And day to day, life’s a hard job, you get tired, you lose the pattern. You need distance, interval. The way to see how beautiful the earth is, is to see it as the moon. The way to see how beautiful a life is, is to see it from the vantage point of death.” — Ursula K. Le Guin, Dispossessed

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There it is, such as it is…. I’m going to go consume massive quantities of mind-numbing, obliviating drugs, & then take another look at the day in a few hours, once my attitude has been adjusted…. See y’all tomorrow, ffolkes, if they don’t catch me….