Just as if it had never happened at all, he continued to type, completely unaware that he was still in the grip of the night, and could no more cease to type than he could cease to breathe. Abused by the muse, he succumbs, and swearing to repent, he is allowed to arise, and drink coffee, thus saving his life, and the day….

I don’t know what to say to that, surprising as that may be. I often let myself flow when writing, particularly phantasmagoria such as the first short paragraph. But this sort of got away from me, and I feel a bit used. I think, though I can’t be sure, that my muse did some rather uncivilized things to me last night in my sleep; why else would I feel so cheap before I’ve even had time to entertain any immoral thoughts, or kicked any puppies? I’m thinking at this point, my best hope is to turn to an old technique, one we all use from time to time…. sheer, stubborn denial.

Yeah, that’s the ticket…. no worries! It’s all good now. Hmm? I don’t know what you’re talking about. What you are asking makes no sense, because none of that ever happened. So, let’s not argue, eh? Let’s just get on with what we’re all here for… a healthy serving of oyster gems…… shall we Pearl, then?
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“I can wear my shirts as pants.” — Smart Bee

That’s it. “I can wear my shirts as pants.”  That is the best I’ve come up with so far. For a solid 45 minutes, I have been diligently reading potential pearls, and this is the one that made the grade. I must point out that it only did so because I was so frustrated, this line assumed a much larger significance to my fevered brain, so much so it forced its way onto the page. Pathetic, isn’t it? Today’s process is FUBAR, so far, but we must push on, or, or,….. or I’ll spit!

Well, THAT threat will certainly send my muse into gales of hysterical laughter…. and I wouldn’t blame her a bit. I’m feeling a bit hysterical myself at this point, totally uncertain as to how to deal with this unprecedented state of affairs. Smart Bee has never been this reluctant to dredge up at least a couple of shiny gems, even if it is only out of pity at times. Today, no mercy….. and no inspiration, either….

It is clear that extraordinary methods will have to be applied…. or at least, threatened. Nothing short of taking away her beer allowance ever works, so I’m going straight for the jugular here…. no more Tres Equis until the filter is removed from Smart Bee, and a suitable group of pearls has been harvested. No Tres Equis, and no Bug Lite, either…. That’s the final word, and no more argument will be tolerated. If that doesn’t do the trick, then I’ll be online this afternoon, looking for a deal on a new muse, because this one will be out the door and gone…. I’m done fooling around. If I don’t get this done in a timely fashion, there WILL be changes in personnel made around here, and she can take that to the beer bank!

I am now drawing my shirt up over my legs, buttoning up, tying the tie I’m using as a belt, and will now proceed to search out a gorgeous, shiny new pearl, which I fully expect to be waiting for me when I arrive at the oyster beds…… last warning…..
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“One can imagine a sane, healthy, cheerful human society based on no more than the principles of common sense, as validated each day by work, play, and living experience. But this remains the most Utopian and fantastic of ideals.” — Edward Abbey

I almost skipped over this, because it seems so obvious. But, then I paused, and thought about it a moment, and it occurred to me to ask myself, “Why?” (I know, a generally futile question when applied to reality, but, hey, today is denial day, so, onward…..) Why should such a concept be so easily dismissed as a worthy goal? What keeps us from becoming a society based on reason and compassion, rather than its current format of a culture of avarice and ambition? Answers to these questions are always given with a smirk, a wink, and a knowing look between those that comprise the beloved ruling class that our society has allowed to shape its destiny.

They are smug, and confident, that the great masses of people in society will never ask these questions, knowing they will never receive an answer that provides any real hope of change. The folks who make up the bulk of society long ago gave away their will; they see no hope of change for the better, and have not the energy to make any attempt to make those changes themselves, being too busy trying to survive in a world that doesn’t care at all about their suffering. They meekly accept the indignities that modern life forces them to endure, silently grieving over their once-precious dreams, and hoping only that things will not get worse.

No, the dream of Utopia is dead in the modern world. There is too much evidence that those who seek and gain power over others in this world have already attained their goals. Nothing is going to change if they can help it, and they have had a strangle-hold on the rest of us for a couple thousand years, a hold that gives them perfect confidence that they can do as they wish, and no one is going to do anything about it at all, at all…..  Scary, isn’t it?….. And, all too real……

This has been a moment of Truth, brought to you by gigoid….. for all the good it will do…… it’s the thought that counts, right?

“And sometimes the bear eats you.”– Smart Bee
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ART, n.  This word has no definition.  Its origin is related as follows by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape, S.J.

One day a wag — what would the wretch be at? —
Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT,
And said it was a god’s name!  Straight arose
Fantastic priests and postulates (with shows,
And mysteries, and mummeries, and hymns,
And disputations dire that lamed their limbs)
To serve his temple and maintain the fires,
Expound the law, manipulate the wires.
Amazed, the populace that rites attend,
Believe whate’er they cannot comprehend,
And, only edified to learn that two
Half-hairs joined so and so (as Art can do)
Have sweeter values and a grace more fit
Than Nature’s hairs that never have been split,
Bring cakes and wines for sacrificial feasts,
And sell their garments to support the priests.

— Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

I’m getting a picture in my head, of Madonna, standing on stage with Dr. Phil, Andy Warhol, Yoko Ono, and the entire cast of “Borat Sees America”. You know, those folks who are currently the icons of Artists, the avant garde, as it were…. whatever that means. (Oops, sorry, forgot. Andy Warhol passed on. You may exclude him from further inclusion in this discussion…) (Not because I respect him or his art, but he’s no longer around to defend himself, so, just being fair….)  I’m not going to go on too long about this, I just wanted folks to think about the stuff that passes for Art these days, and how it says certain things about the state of society.

“Art has an obligation to offend.” — Edward Albee

This attitude may be a large part of the problem. It is, in reality, an observation that is true, but not exclusively true. But the media, and too many otherwise mediocre singers, painters, writers, etc. take it to be the defining characteristic of what is meant by “good” Art. Sort of like assuming the Big Mac to be the highest form of culinary expression, the ultimate meal for the modern world. Forget elegance, or subtlety, or beauty; to these morons truth is ugly and mean…. hence, we have folks like Justin Bieber atop the charts, and movies like “American Reunion” pulling in millions of dollars in a matter of days. It may be a word I’ve over-used of late, but to me it’s pretty pathetic….

Truths would you teach, or save a sinking land?
All fear, none aid you, and few understand.
— Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — Essay on Man, Epistle iv, Line 261

In my opinion, a lot of the poetry, prose, painting, and graphic art that I see right here on WordPress is far superior to anything I’ve seen in a museum of modern art in a very long time. (That doesn’t include museum displays of the art of ancient Egypt, or European Masters of the Renaissance, or others of that ilk…. that is a different story altogether….)  Art is a reflection of the soul of society, and a lot of the reflections I see on public display are….. just plain ugly, and full of despair……  think about it, that’s all…..

E’en from the tomb the voice of nature cries,
E’en in our ashes live their wonted fires.
— Thomas Gray (1716-1771) — Elegy in a Country Churchyard, Stanza 23

I hate to mention things like this in this feature, but it is one of the more pressing problems in America today, and that is the lack of tap-dancers in the Miss America contest. — Smart Bee (On the strength of the mere existence of this phrase, that it can even be uttered in jest, I rest my case…..)
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DAMN, v.  A word formerly much used by the Paphlagonians, the meaning of which is lost.  By the learned Dr. Dolabelly Gak it is believed to have been a term of satisfaction, implying the highest possible degree of mental tranquility.  Professor Groke, on the contrary, thinks it expressed an emotion of tumultuous delight, because it so frequently occurs in combination with the word _jod_ or _god_, meaning “joy.”  It would be with great diffidence that I should advance an opinion conflicting with that of either of these formidable authorities. — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

Delightful! Such eloquent nonsense! It needs no embellishment, and will receive none here. It is here only to tickle my sense of whimsy, which strikes at odd moments, but is always welcome….. just enjoy it, and move on, with a little smile gracing your face….
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The bustle in a house
The morning after death
Is solemnest of industries
Enacted upon earth,
The sweeping up the heart,
And putting love away
We shall not want to use again
Until eternity.
— Emily Dickinson

At last! At last, a fitting pearl with which to end this marathon. Finding this particularly shiny, perfectly formed pearl from Ms. Emily has made my entire morning! Such power, such beauty, such insight, such masked pain, and such hope, all condensed into the simplest, most compelling grouping of words one can imagine.  Serendipity has indeed rewarded my perseverance and discipline this morning, throwing this into my path as a parting gift. It puts the perfect cap on the discussion above re: modern Art, providing a counterpoint to the examples of Art we are daily bombarded with in the media circus of modern life. Bonus!….. and the perfect ending point…..
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The best laid schemes o’ mice and men
Gang aft a-gley;
And leave us naught but grief and pain
For promised joy.
— Robert Burns, To a Mouse

I would like you all to know that this is a record breaking Pearl of Virtual Wisdom. It has required my utmost effort for almost four  hours to show the discipline to bring it to a (somewhat) successful conclusion. It has taken me an inordinate amount of time to not only find the material about which to write, but to pound and slice and trim that material into usable shapes. I am tempted to use the word Herculean to describe that effort, but Herc might be a bit out of my league. Let’s just say that I put everything I’ve got into this one, and will no doubt need a transfusion later today, once these veins have closed up sufficiently to make it practical.

Hard as it has been to get this done, I now find myself reluctant to stop. Don’t worry, I will, that wasn’t meant as a threat, so calm down. But, I sort of feel like the Jack-in-the-Box clown when the spring is starting to wind down, and there are a couple of turns left. I guess I’ll use them to go fix some breakfast, to replace some of this energy I’ve expended so far today. You’re welcome to join me, if you wish. But, it’s time to get on with it, so adieu for the nonce….. Y’all take care out there…..