Live from the Snorting Pig Pub…..


    This may or may not ever get published, so I can say anything. Of course, I do that anyway, so no big deal….. I’m finding it difficult to keep from worrying about money; stuff keeps eating it up before I can use it efficiently. Ah well, another of those things I can’t do anything about just now, so it will have to go back on a back burner…. and I’ll have to find something else to whine, er, write about. I could always write a scathing expose of the State Hospital system, but Doc’s book should be out soon, so I’ll wait to see how it does; if it bombs, mine is liable to do the same, but if it does well, then I’ll have a chance to sell a few of my own…. same subject, different treatment…..

    But that does nothing to get this Pearl done…. I’m completely out of pearls to write about…. and a new poem is not there yet; still percolating. Or is it? Hmm, I’ll see what I can dredge up here in a few…. meantime, the intro section continues to drag on, with no foreseeable end in sight. (Well, that’s obvious, isn’t it? If it’s not foreseeable, then I can’t see it…. English is weird sometimes….) I realize I may be losing your attention by meandering all over the place, just like I was lost in my own mind, but I can’t seem to stop myself. The drivel just keeps on dribbling out, no matter how much I shake and dance…..

Ah, screw it, I’m going diving, before I cause serious damage to my reputation…. that is, if I have a reputation left to damage…. Shall we Pearl?….


So there I am, cruising along in the database, and all these little pieces of observational excellence from Smart Bee keep popping up in my face. I figure that he (Smart Bee) must have something he wants to get across to the readership out there, and who am I to argue. If I don’t do this, I could spend years trying to find a new quote there…. Smart Bee is very insistent when he gets a wild hair like this…. So, just follow the bouncing thought ball to the conclusion that is most obvious….

Sex! Lies! Drugs! Money! Power! Corruption! Man, I love Congress! — Smart Bee

Gun Control – the belief that government, with its great wisdom and moral superiority, can be trusted with a monopoly on deadly force. — Smart Bee

It has been determined that most teenage girls lose their virginity during the summer months. This stands to reason, since congress is recessed at that time. — Smart Bee

Vote Democrat. It’s easier than thinking. — Smart Bee

Vote Republican. It’s easier than thinking. — Smart Bee (honest, both are in there….)

Congressional National Bank. Ours bounce higher and farther! — Smart Bee

“Crime does not pay … as well as politics.” — Alfred E. Newman

    That should get the proper point across…. you may now smash face on keyboard to continue……


A Smile To Remember

we had goldfish and they circled around and around
in the bowl on the table near the heavy drapes
covering the picture window and
my mother, always smiling, wanting us all
to be happy, told me, ‘be happy Henry!’
and she was right: it’s better to be happy if you
but my father continued to beat her and me several times a week while
raging inside his 6-foot-two frame because he couldn’t
understand what was attacking him from within.

my mother, poor fish,
wanting to be happy, beaten two or three times a
week, telling me to be happy: ‘Henry, smile!
why don’t you ever smile?’

and then she would smile, to show me how, and it was the
saddest smile I ever saw

one day the goldfish died, all five of them,
they floated on the water, on their sides, their
eyes still open,
and when my father got home he threw them to the cat
there on the kitchen floor and we watched as my mother

Charles Bukowski

I have collected the captions submitted by readers, and they all are so good, I’ve decided to list them all…. or most of them…. some were submitted by ffolkes with a strange look in their eyes; those were deemed inappropriate for a general audience, and were left out. Actually, I burned them….. But, these are funny…..
So what if they say we’re a strange couple! Just ’cause we like different food doesn’t mean we can’t eat from the same table….” ~~ Carolyn of ABCSpirittalk

“I’m sorry how was I to know it was a gay bar. ” Willowdot

Ned’s friend, Murphy, has struck again…in the form of a feathered companion. ” Carol Welsh

Cat, are you sure we’re going about this the right way? I distinctly remember the saying being ‘as the crow flies’, not ‘as the cat,walks’.! Odie mama

There you go….. enjoy!

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.




2 thoughts on “Live from the Snorting Pig Pub…..

  1. Ffolkes…. I have no idea why the editing page got weirded out and changed all the fonts around like it did…. ah well, the hazards of cross-platform copying and pasting…. Everything is readable though, and as I’m still trying to finish moving, it will have to fly…. Take care, & May the Metaphorse be with you….. 🙂

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