Forays into alternate unreality….

It is now the Ides of November, and the news is reverting to its pre-election year format, which includes, of course, a great deal of stuff that means nothing, other than to draw the attention of the folks who watch it to wherever there is something new to sell. The kind of reports that tend to stimulate my outrage, supplying the fuel to rant, will be buried on page three and four, rather than right up there for all to see, which makes it hard for those of us limited in our access to the Net news outlets.

For the rest of this month, it will be hard for me to send out the daily email via gmail, as I’ll be posting most often from the library, and my gmail still refuses to function there. So, for those who receive this daily Pearl via email as your primary source for my drivel, please be aware that each will be posted online, at  (provided I get my domain name renewed in time…. gonna be close….) If you don’t get one in your inbox by about 2 PM or so, then go look online, and you should find it there….. If not, then I’ve missed a day, and am probably at home, curled up in bed, with enough pain to prevent a trip to the library. SIGH…. So far, so good, and I’m doing my best to see that doesn’t happen….

Now that the housekeeping is out of the way, I would guess it would be a good thing to go for a dive. I never know what Smart Bee will be like on a daily basis; it’s frustrating, but it’s reality, so whattya gonna do?…… This copy of SB is pretty new, only installed last weekend, and has been polite and helpful thus far, but, with all the Zippy and Pooh quotes in there, it tends to corrupt itself periodically, so I have to keep a sharp eye on it in that respect. When it gets a wild hair, it can frustrate me for hours before I tip to what it is doing…. Ah well, y’all probably don’t care what foibles are involved in the actual formation of one of these pieces, so, rather than continue to bore you senseless (not good to have insensible readers lying about…..) we’ll be off into the wilds of my inner mind…. Shall we Pearl?…..

“If you can’t laugh at yourself, you’re missing the joke.” ~~ Smart Bee

“Timing is everything. In everything.” ~~ gigoid, paraphrasing many different authors, all of whom agree that, well, timing, in everything, is everything. Not to belabor the point or anything….

In the instances of cooking, fighting, any sport I’ve ever played, learning, and love, I can personally vouch for the absolute truth of this assertion. (Actually, almost anything works here as example, but even I have to limit how many points I try to make at once…..) Timing is the difference between rubber, shoe leather, and heaven, when it comes to things such as scallops, or any seafood. And the difference between a 3-minute egg, and a five minute egg, can be startling. I won’t mention at all that, without timing, such dishes as souffle’s would be completely impossible…. In fighting, obviously, timing  can mean the difference between a trophy and a stay in the hospital, or worse. There is a vast and important difference between being fast enough to block a punch, and missing it, a difference that registers itself firmly, usually on some delicate part of our physique….

Anyone who has played baseball, basketball, football, volleyball, handball, racquetball, ping pong, tennis, cricket, golf, hockey, rugby, or any other sort of sport knows how important timing is in the playing and the outcome of a game. (Don’t forget poker, or Parcheesi, either…..) To anchor that thought, just think about “balls”…. their shape, their size, how they bounce, or fly, all play a part in how we end up chasing them around. The physical skills, and the timing, for catching a football out of the air are much different than how one tries to catch a baseball. And the skills of ping pong differ hugely from those involved in golf, even though the two balls are of the same approximate size.

In learning, one must be where the information is, and be open to receiving it, before it can be acquired, in certain instances, and timing can be a crucial factor in achieving that end. Arriving late to a lecture means lost effort, as does not arriving at all…. timing is everything….

I don’t think I need to enumerate the number of ways that timing can have an affect on love; we all have had our own personal experiences that, no doubt, taught us that lesson already. You can thank that assumption on my part for saving you from what could have conceivably become a never-ending tale….. Whew! Lucky you!…..

Achieving mastery of the skills involved in any of the above mentioned pastimes requires experience over time, and the learning of all the separate ways that timing is important to each separate activity within the sphere of the craft. It is not a simple task, nor should it be. It requires attention, and concentration, and a willingness to admit one’s own inabilities, in order to acquire the skills necessary to mastery. Once these skills, and the sense of timing necessary to their implementation, are learned, then one can accomplish things that would otherwise be impossible, or merely mundane…..

“It has long been known that one horse can run faster than another – but which one?  Differences are crucial.” — Lazarus Long

Lazarus gives us here an adjunctive concept to that of timing; to know the proper time for each act, learning and knowing the differences between things involved can be critical. Think, for example, of the difference in the two balls used above, ping pong and golf; merely dropping one on a hard surface will demonstrate the vast difference in the behavior of each type. The sound, the bounce, the capture in the hand, all are completely diverse, in spite of the close resemblance of the two in size and shape…..

For this type of knowledge to be obtained, it must first be admitted that one does not know; only then is the mind open to receiving the instruction needed to add such skills to our tool bag. In addition, one learns that close attention to details is important in any field; as Lazarus so aptly  points out, the answer to the question of WHICH horse is faster can affect our lives heavily, if one is betting on them. Noting that one is limping, or carrying a heavier load, can mean the difference between celebration and sorrow, not to mention a lighter wallet…..

Life on this planet is wondrous indeed, and our part in that wonder is one of great diversity. We can live in such a way as to make ourselves, and everything around us, stronger, smarter, and more content with life…. or, we can live such that every step is uphill, and every act brings us pain or misery. Learning how timing, and attention to detail, can be of service to us are important lessons to be learned, whether we know it or not…. Me, I prefer knowing stuff like this, because it sure makes life easier, and more pleasant, overall…. and it’s much better than the misery that accompanies the fact of NOT knowing such skills…..

“One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs — but it is amazing how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.” — Professor Charles P. Issawi


To what can our life on earth be likened?
To a flock of geese,
alighting on the snow.
Sometimes leaving a trace of their passage.

Su Tung-po

Today’s search for appropriate pearls has been somewhat idiosyncratic….. By that I mean Smart Bee has apparently been pursuing its own private agenda regarding what is offered up for review. There have been a number of good ones, but, none were quite right for today, in my gestalt vision. I’ve saved several to future days in my own Doctorish way (I don’t have a sonic screwdriver, but I know my way around temporal anomalies…..), and came to a decision, a welcome, if somewhat unusual event. I’ve collected a number of random pearls that gave me a quick smile when I read them this morning, or a quick spurt of recognition of truth, as the case may have been. You’ll find them below…. As well, you will find, if you read them all straight through, just letting them wash over your awareness, you will end up feeling a little lighter of heart…. and if not, well, you still can…. Just loosen your metaphoric shoelaces…..

“Eek!” — Smart Bee

What do you call a potato that commits a crime? A perpetater.
(I have not offered attribution for this wonderful pun, as I felt anyone who contributed this wouldn’t want their name published…..except, maybe, me…..Alas, I didn’t do it….)

“Being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.”
“It isn’t,” said the Caterpillar.
“Well, perhaps you haven’t found it so yet,” said Alice;
“but when you have to turn into a chrysalis —
you will some day, you know —
and then after that into a butterfly,
I should think you’ll feel it a little queer, won’t you?”
“Not a bit,” said the Caterpillar.”

— Charles Dodgson (Lewis Carroll) — Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Chapter V

“Art is anything you can get away with.” — Marshall McLuhan.

“Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road.  I asked it why.  It told me it  was none of my business.” — Steven Wright

“Artificial hearts are nothing new. Politicians have had them for years.” — Mack McGinnis

Fifty flippant frogs
Walked by on flippered feet
And with their slime they made the time
Unnaturally fleet.

~~ Smart Bee

“While my BRAINPAN is being refused service in BURGER KING, Jesuit priests are DATING CAREER DIPLOMATS!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

Okay, then…… kick those shoes off, and relax. The sun came up, and is likely to keep on doing so….. No worries!


It occurs to me that today’s effort is a pretty good reflection of reality…. and if I have to explain THAT impression now, we might never get out of here…. so, I’ll just leave it at that. This Pearl does have the inimitable characteristic common to all of my best, and worst, Pearls, that is to say, it is done. Done to death, some might say, but done, nonetheless, and as such, according to my ongoing policy, it is also finished, and will be submitted to the Gentle Readership for their perusal, and any entertainment they may find in it….. I, such as I am, shall go post it at the library, and be done with it, which, as I say, is the best part…. Timing, remember, is everything….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.gigoid



2 thoughts on “Forays into alternate unreality….

  1. Morning – sorry you’re having to drudge thru the morning mist to blog – have to say this one was worth the travel time – always a frontrunner when quoting Charles Dodgson (Lewis Carroll) – have a good weekend, take care of yourself – Stay Strong!

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