Ffolkes,
Boo hoo? Boo hoo? What a crock of crap!…. Oh, hi, sorry, didn’t realize we’d started…. When I woke up today, the best I could come up with was Boo hoo…. which, as is common knowledge, is no way to start the day….. So, I got some coffee, kicked Murphy off the coffee table where he was snoring, and retreated to the porcelain throne room for a little quiet time with a book. No sooner did I sit down to begin, the damn waterworks start leaking again…. The damnedest part is that I have no frigging clue as to what the hell is causing it….
I mean, I’m still in poverty, relatively speaking, but, I’ve got food, the rent’s paid, and all will be well soon, as I’m just waiting for a decision now on my SS benefits. My kids are doing well, and the lady Ive been sparking is feeling better now, so no personal issues happening, either. My brother’s news regarding his illness was a bit of a facer, but I’m getting a handle on that, so that isn’t it either….
No, it’s just a gift from the gods, I guess, letting me know that my past indiscretions in my choice of work are not completely resolved, at least not to the point where my unconscious is going to give me a free pass….. I can truly be an asshole, when it comes to dealing with myself….
PTSD is an insidious condition…. in many ways, its symptoms and issues are hidden, not only from others, but from the victim themselves, by the person’s unconscious mind, which, in the case of these issues of extreme mental anguish, assumes control over the rest of the person’s psyche.
It’s a pain in the ass, too, I’ll tell ya, as days like today, if not addressed and resolved, can become a daily battle, rather than an occasional skirmish….. Thankfully, I’m currently at a place where the latter is more common than the former…. so, today is a bit of a surprise, though not completely unexpected, given recent events….
The human mind is a complex organism, and we don’t know a lot about how it actually does what it does. Even from a personal standpoint, we aren’t very knowledgeable regarding how our minds work; we know what it does, but know very little about how it goes about doing it.
Not surprisingly, this can lead to a great many issues that a more complete understanding might preclude; unfortunately, that knowledge is currently unavailable, as the mechanics of our mind’s activities is a mystery, for the most part. All we know is what we observe; we know almost nothing about the process, or, for that matter, the end result…. If we did, we could answer the age-old question, “What is the mind?”, with something other than speculation…..
Okay, I’ll call a halt here…. A discussion of brain activity, while interesting in its own right, and in its own way, probably isn’t the best way to begin a Pearl…. neither is a lamentation on the disadvantages of having contracted PTSD in the course of my career choice. So, we’ll drop it now, and get on with today’s business, before I bore y’all to petrification. This is a chatty, fairly erudite intro section, but, it really doesn’t mean much, does it? SIGH….. Someday, maybe I’ll get the hang of this intro stuff…. Shall we Pearl?…..
P.S. A housekeeping note: I noted at least two major typos in yesterday’s Pearl, and am ashamed….. (you can’t see it, but my head is hanging, and I have an appropriately sober, apologetic expression on my face….) I’ll try to proof better today…..
“I feel so inar-inar-inar tic-u-late” — Smart Bee
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“I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn’t it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe.”– Marcus, Babylon 5
Marcus brings up an interesting point here, when he talks of the general hostility of the universe. I don’t think he quite has a handle on the actual shape of Reality, though, and in his desire to avoid responsibility for his own cupidity, he assigns the universe as villain in his play. Our universe isn’t hostile to us, as he would like to think. Unfair? Yes. Hostile? No…. The universe really doesn’t give a crap about us, one way or another. Things seem unfair, not because they are stacked against us, but rather because they are not stacked in our favor, a slight but distinct difference…..
Reality plays no favorites, beyond a tendency to allow itself to be adjusted by those who have an understanding of how it works, without granting them any dispensation, but rather rewarding their cleverness and wit. Those who believe the universe is out to get them are defenseless against the trials and tribulations that are a natural part of living, because they begin from an attitude of helplessness. Those who at least have the confidence to act in their own behalf are much more able to achieve their goals, than anyone who allows Reality to push them wherever they end up, without any direction made by choice…..
Thus, we can see that courage, as well as knowledge, is necessary to being able to confront Reality on its own terms. Not only is it necessary to pay attention to the way the universe works, and how it interacts among all its parts, but necessary to have the courage to act on what is known, and what the person believes to be right, in a moral sense.
Of course, the universe doesn’t care one way or another if we are moral; it rewards those who act out of immorality as well, if they are bold enough to act. We just feel better about ourselves if we act from right thought, and we make it easier for others to do the same. Acting immorally only benefits the one who is doing the acting…..
But, cowardice is also rewarded by the universe; it just isn’t a very palatable reward, to have our every wish denied, and our every act dismissed, as incompetent, illegal, or just plain dumb….. Lack of courage, and lack of knowledge thus become their own rewards, and the person’s misguided views about reality lead them into issue after issue of conflict with the rest of reality.
In this way, they continually reinforce their own misapprehensions, and will only more firmly believe that the universe is out to get them, and everyone else…. This, in spite of the fact that they are looking at, and dealing with, the same Reality as everyone else, who don’t all seem to have the same problem…. Instead of giving them a clue that maybe they should do things differently, they merely assume that the other people have cheated them somehow…. because that is what they would do….
It’s really too bad in some ways, that so large a percentage of humanity is so lacking in courage and wit as to find the view stated above to be congruent with their own view of the way the universe operates; it’s part of what makes it so easy for those in the BRC and the 1% to control them, and to pull the wool over their eyes.
These folks are so convinced of their own helplessness in the face of all they don’t understand, they will latch onto almost anything someone tells them, if it soothes their fears, and gives them someone or something other than themselves to blame for their misfortunes…. Sad, but true, and a perfect description of what has transpired in society for several thousand years now, as the BRC keeps the majority of humanity in the proverbial dark about what is true, and what is real….. They’ve had a lot of practice, and they’re very good at it….
But, then, it isn’t hard to control someone who is brainwashed to believe that it is the way reality is, so I can’t say it is due to any particularly large degree of wit or talent that allows them to do so…. It is more that the folks who they control are so stupid, they ask to be controlled, because they can’t, and more importantly, won’t, trust themselves to do it….. Sad, but true….
At his point in this narrative, I am becoming a bit enraged, a not uncommon reaction to a rant about the BRC and the 1%…. Heck, this time, I didn’t even have to mention the papists or preachers who are their shock troops, on the front lines of the brainwashing process, in order to get upset and angry over their machinations…. until now. My rage is growing, as it always tends to do when I start to rant on this subject, and I’m not ready to deal with the consequences of letting it get any bigger right now…. too much other stuff to get to today. But, just let me say this…..
Those in our society who deliberately control others for their own benefit are my enemies. I believe them to be responsible for virtually ALL of the social ills we have, as well as the global and environmental issues that are threatening our very survival as a species. They are, for their own personal benefit, hoarding the resources of the planet, and refusing to share them with the remainder of humanity, all because they can, and they want to. The welfare of others is of no concern to them, so they automatically become my foes, in my battle to try to make a world my children, and grandchild, can have the opportunity to live a full and complete life of their own, without being oppressed and controlled by assholes who don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves….. As my old martial arts instructor used to say…. “Fuck ’em….. hard.”…..
— “Bother!”, said Pooh, as he dropped his bombs.
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A Refusal to Mourn the Death, by Fire, of a Child in London
Never until the mankind making
Bird beast and flower
Fathering and all humbling darkness
Tells with silence the last light breaking
And the still hour
Is come of the sea tumbling in harness
And I must enter again the round
Zion of the water bead
And the synagogue of the ear of corn
Shall I let pray the shadow of a sound
Or sow my salt seed
In the least valley of sackcloth to mourn
The majesty and burning of the child’s death.
I shall not murder
The mankind of her going with a grave truth
Nor blaspheme down the stations of the breath
With any further
Elegy of innocence and youth.
Deep with the first dead lies London’s daughter,
Robed in the long friends,
The grains beyond age, the dark veins of her mother,
Secret by the unmourning water
Of the riding Thames.
After the first death, there is no other.
Dylan Thomas
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“All great deeds and all great thoughts have a ridiculous beginning.” — Albert Camus
Without meaning to, Albert gives me hope for the future…. or, at least, for the future success of my writing…. because, boy, if my writing doesn’t fit the description of “ridiculous beginning”, I don’t know what would! 🙂
No, really, I find this to be comforting, especially for us Bozoids, who have a very close relationship with the concept of ridiculous. I mean, it’s what we do, right? Right….. In that vein, I’m going to go old-school again today for this final pearl…. The experiment yesterday, of a completely random process of choice of the pearls to be included, went very well, so we’ll give it another roll today, and see what we can come up with, me and Smart Bee…. Having once again written this PRIOR to the choosing, I have no preconceived idea of what may happen, so, please, don’t forget your helmets and seat belts…. otherwise the insurance drones will pitch a fit….
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
~~ Robert Frost
Hah!….. Fooled ya, didn’t I? While cruising Smart Bee, looking for pearls for this pearl (don’t worry about it…. I’ll explain it again someday….), I had a moment of revelation, an epiphany, so to speak, about the course of my life up to now….
I have to say, it’s been a wild ride, if not particularly dangerous in general; there have, of course, been moments of great terror, and great fear. Nobody escapes completely from life’s vicissitudes, but, mostly, I’ve been able to cruise through life smoothly, without any particular danger that wasn’t by choice (my work, for several years, didn’t fit into that “safe” category at all….).
I’ve also had my share, and more, of pain in life, both emotional and physical, especially in the last 10 years, as my physical strength wanes, and my social life has evolved in ways not particularly comfortable for me. But, I can only feel, and appreciate, that pain because I’ve also had my share, and more, of joy, joy that sustains me in those times when pain is prevalent.
So, I’ve seen, and experienced, the balance and duality that defines our existence in this universe, and come to appreciate its beauty as a whole…. and I see this, because I’ve always felt what Robert Frost spoke so eloquently in this poem, and tried to always follow the road less traveled, wherever I’ve gone in my life. I have to say, I’m glad I did…..
So, there’s your old school pearl, in a new school setting, all shiny, and glowing with its own special inner fire…. enjoy!
“I am covered with pure vegetable oil and I am writing a best seller!” — Zippy the Pinhead
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Okay, let’s see how it came out…. Gosh, that’s not too bad, all in all. During the process of putting it together, it didn’t seem all that cogent, or powerful, but, on retrospect, it’s just fine the way it is…. with only one apparent typo, and two added words, for clarity….. In the words of the Artful Dodger, I’ll take it…. and run….. 🙂 In fact, I like it enough, that this is enough….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.
gigoid
gigoid 
“…kicked Murphy off the coffee table where he was snoring….”
Luv the way you started the day. Good one!
“…if my writing doesn’t fit the description of “ridiculous beginning”, I don’t know what would!…”
Hear! Hear! 🙂 And I mean it in a nice way, too 🙂
🙂 If I’m going to be up, so is he; no rest for the wicked, right?…. Thanks, amigo… Glad it tickled ya in spots….