I am convinced that if I don’t write, my head becomes all clogged up and I get grumpy and even more curmudgeonly than usual. The process of putting down all this stuff on paper, or at least, on screen to save, is what has kept me sane these last two years…. If I hadn’t had this, I would either have killed someone, or ended up in a psyche ward, drooling and talking to myself (not so different than some mornings around here, but, not a place I want to spend a lot of time….). Now that the most basic stress factor in my life  has been mitigated, I find that I still need to do this, to keep my brain clear of any buildup of angst.  So, I guess I’m stuck with it….

All of which means little to y’all, but, it did get me two paragraphs in, so, not a complete loss….. Now what? Damn me, if I know…. I’m having trouble deciding on the color of socks to wear, and there are only two colors to choose from….. I wouldn’t count on me to come up with anything at this point. Maybe I should go find a pearl, to see if it will give me a direction to take….. hold on, be right back….

“The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.” — Henry Kissinger

Obviously, Henry has been in this kind of situation before…. but, he’s right, and since we have no alternative to this, I can allow that to clear my mind of all indecision, and just go with whatever flows out of my head…. Since it is the ONLY alternative available, we have no choice to make, which means the choice is made…. That’s logic, right? Right…. So, onward, troops, into the day, fearlessly, and with hope held tightly to our bosom…. (Do authors have bosoms? Hmm….)  Logic has pointed us in the correct direction, or, if not, we are at least moving in ‘A’ direction, and that is better than sitting around on our collective asses….

I’ve blathered now through four or more paragraphs, and nobody should have to put up with more than that, so, we can end this now, and get on with the rest of today’s effort, such as those may be….. Just to make sure you understand the rules, I leave you with this reminder….. Remember it well…..

“You offend Shai-Hulud by sheathing your crysknife without having  drawn blood.” — Fremen proverb (from Dune, by Frank Herbert)
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As you may have noted, my brain is broken…. and I am not sure which tool is going to work to fix it…. What this means in terms of today’s Pearl is that you will have to put up with more than the usual degree of smarminess, and the occasional random insult, as I try to cope with creating a Pearl out of what is laying around in my brain, rather than a true creative episode, building and sharing images of grand eloquence, made up of just the right words….. Today, though, those words are hiding from me, so I have to allow Smart Bee to have its head, so to speak, because anything in mine has to be viewed with suspicion, and handled with care, lest it explode, whereupon, we get blamed for an act of terrorism…. Of course, that last word is probably what comes to mind when y’all think of this blog anyway…..

Nevertheless, I’m going old school, and you can’t stop me…. (Believe me, you don’t WANT to stop me today….. just let me have my way, and everything will work out fine….)…. Here is a group of pearls, all of which are pointed in a certain direction, which SHOULD be obvious…. If it is not, well, I guess you’re S.O.O.L., as they say downtown…. well, they said that when I hung out there…. any who, here….

“Critics quarrel with other critics. With an artist, no sane man quarrels.” — George Santayana

“Our discontent begins by finding false villains whom we can accuse of deceiving us. Next we find false heroes whom we expect to liberate us. The hardest, most discomfiting discovery is that each of us must emancipate himself.”– Daniel J. Boorstin

“Charms strike the sight, but merit wins the soul.”– Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — The Rape of the Lock, Canto v, Line 34

“There’s a lot of stupid people out there. Just to prove it, think of how dumb the average person is, and then realize that half of the people out there are stupider than that.” — George Carlin

“A man that expects to train lobsters to fly in a year is called a lunatic and is locked up. But a man that thinks people can be turned into angels by legislation is called a reformer and allowed to walk free.” — Mr. Dooly

“All things that are born must die. Work hard for your own freedom from sorrow.” — Buddha

“Do not speak of what men deserve.   For we each of us deserve everything, every luxury that was ever piled in the tombs of the dead Kings, and we each  of us deserve nothing, not a mouthful of bread in hunger.   Have we not eaten while another starved?  Will you punish us for that?  Will you reward us for the virtue of starving while others ate?  No man earns punishment, no man earns reward.  Free your mind of the idea of *deserving*, of *earning*, and you will begin to be able to think.” — Odo, The Prison Letters (Ursula LeGuin, _The Dispossessed_)

Oooh…. now, THAT’S a pearl of virtual wisdom, if I ever saw one…..  Print it!…..
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SIGH….. I know I’m probably not doing this Poetry challenge the way it’s supposed to be done, but, I can’t find it in myself to care much, as I’m not trying to win, or anything like that…. I’m only participating because someone thought I would enjoy it, which I have…. but, I can’t make poems come on demand; it doesn’t work like that for me. They happen when they happen, and if I try to force it, they just put on Harry’s Invisibility Cloak, and disappear…. So, I don’t force them, deadlines or no…..

Fortunately, I’ve got a backlog of poems that HAVE leaked out over the last eight months or so, which is what you will see again today…. This one is kind of wordy, and a bit clumsy-seeming, but I like it, for its unabashed pride in its own inherent meaning…. which sounds really obscure, but feels right…. The haiku is, once again, fresh as the day, composed just a few moments ago….. As every day this month, these are being included as part of the April National Poetry Writing Month Challenge, with the updates to be found here:  http://www.napowrimo.net/    I hope you enjoy them…..

“I am ignorant of absolute truth. But I am humble before my ignorance, and therein lies my honour and my reward.” — Kahlil Gibran

This is a valuable piece of thinking, a very powerful attitude to have, and a beautiful expression of an ancient truth; Kahlil Gibran had a knack for all three attributes in his writing, and is deservedly regarded as one of history’s finest poets, as well as a respected philosopher. He was able to insert deep, insightful messages into the public’s consciousness, through his amazingly eloquent poetry, and exceedingly logical treatises and stories. This concept, that the search for truth is as important to us as the truth itself, and is worthy of our mindfulness. One cannot learn, until they will admit they do not know…..

“Real life isn’t like this.” — Smart Bee

Well, yes, it actually is, SB…. I’ll give the benefit of the doubt, and assume SB meant this facetiously….  We aren’t born knowing what is true and what is false, not in any absolute sense…. But, we are born with what I like to call a “crap detector”, a part of us that whispers in our ears, “they’re lying about this”, anytime someone tries to feed us  bullshit, i.e., something that isn’t true…. Some folks are pretty good at lying, and make it hard to tell; others aren’t…. but, all of us have a pretty good idea, and if we listen to that little voice, we learn quickly just what we can trust and what we cannot….

“I’m growing older, but not up.” — Jimmy Buffett

“A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.” — Willie Wonka

This is why we, as humans, are subject to both Murphy’s Laws, and to the Principle of Bozoid Tendencies….  Both are of great importance in maintaining a healthy outlook on life, to keep us alert, and to give us that child-like ability to laugh at ourselves, and at the messes we can get ourselves into…. I ask you, what would Life be, without being able to laugh at ourselves? Pretty damn boring, I’d say…. That’s why I always let the nose grow, whenever it shows, and encourage others to do the same… Firesign Theater was righter than they knew when they said, “I think we’re all Bozos on this bus!”…. We all are in the same vehicle, headed goodness knows where, and the driver got left behind at the last restroom stop….

“HOORAY, Ronald!!  Now YOU can marry LINDA RONSTADT too!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

This pearl has been brought to you by the letter “C”, and the number 7…. All statements made herein are the author’s creation, for which he takes the credit, but, not the blame…. The Devil made me do it!   Sure, he did…. Anyway, I’m done now. I’m not at all certain that this isn’t the strangest Pearl I have done in quite a while; I have a strong feeling it is…. Strange, that is…. I’m going to cut my losses here, and be done with it…. Ta ta for now….
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Strange indeed…. amazing what the mind can accomplish when the body is in excruciating pain…. Today’s version of hell is being brought to me by an impacted, infected tooth, that is telling me, very emphatically, that I need to call the dentist…. It doesn’t care that the dentist won’t be in the office until 9:00, it just wants attention, NOW….. So, if I miss a punctuation mark or two, or any other typos, you’ll understand why…. Be right back….. Okay, I’m back, and I’m outta here… this will do fine, since there’s no way in hell I’m doing it over….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.