This picture has NOT been altered in any way, other than to sharpen up the spider’s outline. It sure is a BIG one, isn’t it? Why, just looking at it, sitting there on the side of that house, it looks to be a good foot and a half long, wouldn’t you guess? I’ll bet the folks who live there don’t have to worry much about flies, or even stray dogs…. the spider would make sure NOTHING got into the house, unless it came to act as the dinner entree…. I wonder what it would be like to have a trained attack spider….
There…. now y’all can’t accuse me of never giving y’all any nonsense in the intro any more…. I must admit, what with the stuff going on in the world, and my own issues, such as the advent of diabetes, worsening arthritis, and ongoing wars with Kaiser P, it’s been a bit difficult to maintain the proper mindset for nonsense…. One must needs bring out the inner Zippy the Pinhead, and let the nose grow to its maximum degree of round redness…. or is that red roundness?…. Any who, as can be guessed, when dealing with HMO’s or postal employees, sobriety works much faster than silliness, so, I got out of the habit of getting strange, just for the hell of it….
As can be surmised, however, as a life-long bozoid personality, strange is never far off, so, it takes mere moments for me to adopt the mantle of humorous oddity that settles so comfortably upon my shoulders, whenever I let my inner Bozo out to play. Nothing is more fun, or more satisfying, than to bring a frown of confused annoyance to the formerly unhappy faces of those who surround me in public, or to drive entire rooms full of diners out of a restaurant, through the use of what is called, in the mental health industry, word salad…. Plus, there is, in my mind, NOTHING that compares to confusing myrmidons, such as county sheriff’s deputies, or rookie CHP’s…. they’re so cute when they scowl, don’t you think? And nothing is better than getting them right up to the point of apoplexy, only to discover I’ve done nothing illegal….
But, teasing the animals with badges isn’t all fun, nor is it always danger-free, even when NOT acting illegally….. There are far too many aggressive, stupid idiots wearing badges, who think nothing of abusing their authority, and filing false charges against any member of the public they don’t like…. especially one who makes them feel stupid…. but, I figure, it’s not my responsibility to make them feel good…. I do figure it is my job to make fun of them, and to give them every bit of crap I can, because you can be sure, they will be doing so to the public, eventually…. Too many police officers in today’s world are in the field simply because it gives them the opportunity to act tough, and to bully others….
But, I’m not going to rant, he said, piteously…. I promised I wouldn’t!….. Besides, at this point, I don’t have to…. I didn’t notice, but, we passed the legal limit some time ago…. Time does fly when having fun, eh? I’m thinking, since we’re already here, I’ll just dump us out of the intro right here, in this paragraph, so we can get on with the show before I get much weirder…. As is patently obvious, and, as I said above, strange isn’t far off, for me, so, we’ll just let it go at that, and get on with what we came to do…..
Shall we Pearl?…..
“It is not necessary that whilst I live I live happily; but it is necessary that so long as I live I should live honourably.” — Kant, Immanuel (1724-1804)
As promised, I pre-screened this video, and can faithfully, and truthfully say, it’s a good story…. It happens to be one of my favorite Holmes stories…. and Jeremy Brett was one of the better Sherlock actors, in my opinion…. He captured the fragility of Holmes’ mentality quite well; his “crazed eyes” are perfect, as is his infectious enthusiasm when portraying Holmes on the scent…. Enjoy ffolkes, it’s a bit less than an hour of solid entertainment, as the Victorian world of Watson and Holmes is brought to life on screen for your enjoyment….
It has been some time since I posted this list…. It is comprised of 20 statements of the qualities one must display in order to live up to the name of gentleman…. I could spend quite a bit of time going over each characteristic, complete with examples of how poorly most men in this country do at meeting these standards, but, I am of the opinion that each of these speaks for itself.
Each statement of character is short, clear, and unambiguous; do this, and you will live with honor, integrity, and respect, not only of others, but, your own as well…. I once heard it said, and can certainly agree, the best way to teach this to your sons is to follow each directive, showing them HOW…. no words are necessary. Just live, and let them watch, and learn….
There… Now, isn’t that better than a rant? I must say, it was a lot easier on me….
The following entry is not a poem, but, to me, it is poetry in prose, simple wisdom derived from experiential observation and insight. If I ever marry again, I will seriously consider having the preacher/shaman use this for the ceremony…. This one is one of those I don’t really care if nobody likes…. I do….. But, I happen to believe that there are very few rational, compassionate humans who can find much in this to which they can object…. Enjoy!…. The sentiments expressed are the best we humans have learned to express….
~~ Chris Stevens, “Northern Exposure” ~~
The following pearl is possibly the oddest pearl I’ve ever put together…. I’m not certain if it was Smart Bee guiding my hand, or if my subconscious was being cute…. What I do know is that, odd as it seems, it also seems to make some kind of sense…. which means this is a stealth pearl, one that delivers the message it wishes to convey by taking the mind through vistas unknown, but, ending up where one may bend over and pick up a solid rock of insight, put it in their pocket, and wander away as if entranced…. Or, just let it wash over you, and spread its balm of understanding via the process of cellular absorption…. Whatever….
“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” — Walter Winchell
“I have two pets: A large main dog, and a small emergency backup one.” — Smart Bee
“Conservatives want to make people virtuous; liberals want to make them healthy. Both believe that using the state to accomplish their aims is legitimate. That is why both conservatives and liberals favor anti-drug laws, psychiatric coercions, and other assaults against individual freedom and responsibility couched in therapeutic terms.” — Thomas S. Szasz
“That which is incapable of proof itself is not proof of anything else.” — Shelley
“Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot” — Charlie Chaplin
“Bush wears a hat so he knows which end to wipe!” — Smart Alec Bee
“We made too many wrong mistakes.” — Yogi Berra
“The happiness and unhappiness of the rational, social animal depends not on what he feels but on what he does; just as his virtue and vice consist not in feeling but in doing.” — Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121-180 AD) — Meditations, ix, 16
“Let’s have a Tupperware party! Habeamus convivium ad mercem emendam.” — Latin For Everyday Occasions
Okay, that should do it…. what it will do remains to be seen, but, it should be, if nothing else, adorably cute…. or not.
This one defies all description…. Well, it defies all MY description, anyway. Such as it is, though, it IS done, which puts it into that category of my favorite pearls… i.e., the finished variety…. I’ll see y’all tomorrow, ffolkes…. I can’t seem to talk myself out of it…. HONK, HONK!…..
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…
When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.
Which is Why….
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
I just sits.
gigoid, the dubious
PLEASE STOP READING THIS MESSAGE NOW.
À bientôt, mon cherí….