The smile fades, though, as he realizes he is, once more, lost in the intro…. Nowhere to go from here but down, it seems, so, we may as well bail early again. How about it, ffolkes? Let’s do this…. we’ll just pretend none of it happened, at all, and get on with the rest of today’s mess, just as if we intended it to go this way…. That looks like this….

Shall we Pearl?….

From 1/23/2014:

I am bound and determined (what a clunky, awkward phrase! How did it ever survive in the English language for so long?….)… any who, I am firmly invested in having a laugh or two now, even if I have to resort to picking on my own bozoid tendencies…. There are certainly enough of those to go around, which any of my exes would be happy to tell you…. Bozoid tendencies? What are those? Well, really, ffolkes, do you need for me to explain that? The very words are pretty self-explanatory…. but, I guess it’s been awhile since I expounded on my version** of this theory, so, to answer, quickly….

Bozoid tendencies are those human characteristics that are embedded in our species’ persona, hard-wired, as it were, into our psyches, that can only be described as being “clownish”, and cannot be suppressed, no matter how dignified or stuffy one tries to be…. It can be best expressed vocally by the phrase, “I came, I saw, I screwed up.”…..

At some point in life, each and every one of us will do something really stupid, right in front of the most embarrassing group of people possible, such as family, or an entire stadium of excitable fans, or a restaurant full of strangers…. Often it is something as simple as forgetting a wife’s birthday, or forgetting to close a zipper, ensuring a wardrobe failure at the wrong time, or it could be as compelling a moment as running the wrong direction in a Super Bowl…. but, we all do it at one time in our lives, without exception…. Hence, the theory of Bozoid Tendencies….

** Inspired by the metaphoric brilliance of the Firesign Theater’s audio improvisational album, “I Think We’re All Bozo’s On This Bus!”, the Theory of Bozoid Tendencies was first discussed and codified in Berkeley in 1969…. This is the period when gigoid (that’s me….) spent a lot of time in such discussions with other burgeoning social philosophers, all UCB students of various vintages, in various dark, smoky venues, in various stages of mindfulness due to either extreme use of sober imagination and logic, to the often brilliant scintillation of drug induced excitement of the imagination, whether the drug was wine, beer, MJ, or something more exotic, if infrequent. Having obviously survived the experiences intact, the Theory has been shown to be valid in many, many instances over the years, in myself, and in the world at large…. with most of such proof provided in the daily news…. when not in the mirror….

With all of that in mind, we’ll now search for some pearls that can make me laugh…. you’re on your own, this one will be according to MY sense of what is funny, and what isn’t…. So there…. I TOLD you we all have a sense of entitlement, didn’t I?….. Besides, if nothing else, YOU can laugh at MY sense of entitlement, or my humorous standards, if you so desire, and I can laugh at myself (I’m easily amused….)…. just for making the effort, which goes to the evidence folder for the theory’s validity….

“A guinea pig is not from Guinea but a rodent from South America. A firefly is not a fly, but a beetle. A giant panda bear is really a member of the raccoon family. A black panther is really a leopard that has a solid black coat rather then a spotted one. Peanuts are not really nuts. The majority of nuts grow on trees while peanuts grow underground. They are classified as a legume-part of the pea family. A cucumber is not a vegetable but a fruit. — Smart Bee

(Just a few of the reasons I love the English language…. and the English mind, which is completely twisted…..)

“I think you ought to know I’m feeling terribly depressed.” — Douglas Adams — The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Marvin

(And I think I have very good reason to be depressed, don’t you?….. So much so, I have to laugh, so I don’t cry….)

“The education of a man is never completed until he dies.” — Robert E. Lee

(Don’t know exactly why, but this, to me, is funny…. perhaps more funny, strange, because of the irony, than funny ha ha, but, funny….)

“Life isn’t fair.” — L.J. Smith

(This reminds me of my favorite line to try to gently remind someone they are whining for no reason; simply ask, “Who was the one who lied to you?” “Who was who?” “The one who told you life would be fair.”…. First heard from my father, at a young age….)

(Okay, so, I’m not funny today…. I’ll quit with the comments, and find a solid final threesome of pearls for ya….)

You know it’s going to be a bad day, when you find a note on your door that says, “Knocked, you weren’t in. — Opportunity” — Smart Bee

You may well ask yourself why I felt compelled to include the excerpt by Shelley in there, but, I, being the curmudgeon that I am, will only say that I know that my Gentle Readers will be able to look at that, in juxtaposition with everything else I wrote today, and see why I fell over laughing when I saw it come up on the screen, and why it’s a particularly funny joke right now…. The others, well, as I said, you’re on your own…. I laughed….

“All life is based on death. Nothing exists except by feeding on something else. Even photosynthesis depends on the heat-death of the sun. Humanity is not
exempt. Embalming doesn’t cheat the worms, it cheats the system. But only temporarily.” — Solomon Short

“Because you’re not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who, in truth, you are.” — Madeleine L’Engle

“Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.” — Abraham Lincoln

“Do not eat your heart.” — Pythagoras

“A little while, a moment of rest upon the wind…” — Kahlil Gibran

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It’s done. That is all you’ll ever hear me say of it, as it was slapped together with great rush, and, I won’t be held responsible for the results, not without a warrant. Since it IS done, I’m going to do the expedient thing, so highly prized in today’s world, and bail. See y’all tomorrow, with the usual caveats in play….