A small dose of sweet sorrow….

Ffolkes,

“Grain grows best in shit.”

~~ Ursula K. LeGuin ~~

day2 London 012

The market on Portobello Road, London, England, April 2013…

All the various parts of today’s Pearl have been present for nearly a week, without having been posted, thanks to my latest uncomfortable realization, to wit; I am becoming unable to write, no matter how willing I may or may not be. This is for two primary reasons, each of which has brought its’ own realizations of a need to make changes in my lifestyle. Since I may not have many more opportunities to do so, I’ll try to relate these epiphanies accurately, and as completely as I can….

The first reason I am becoming unable to write is a quite simple one; I am growing increasingly blind. Though not yet nearly disabled, the macular degeneration taking place in both my retinas is growing increasingly more extensive, & the vision in both eyes, especially the left one (oculus sinister), is becoming blurrier by the day. The difference between them affects my entire visual acumen, making both reading and driving problematic, if not entirely impossible. The blurriness causes me to have to squint hard just to make out normal type and/or fonts, and reading street signs & traffic signs very difficult, as well as visually tiring…. SIGH…. I know I should be getting used to age-related conditions and changes made necessary by physical degeneration, but, it still manages to cause a bit of self-pity, to go along with the eye-twitching & headaches….

Second, I finally realized why I’ve had an unbearably painful stiff neck for more than a full month, affecting both my waking physical comfort, and my ability to sleep, at all, not merely comfortably. Essentially, I find the more time I spend at the computer, the worse it gets, often shooting knife-like sharp shooting pains from neck to mid-back, merely on the act of typing for a few moments. As I am now typing this introduction, I can feel my shoulder stiffening against the pain, and spasms starting to ripple up & down the right side of my back, indicating I need to go walk it off, which, yesterday, took me about three miles before the muscles started to relax, probably because they got tired…. That would warrant another ‘SIGH’, but, I hate repeating myself too often….

The realization I’ve been compelled to come to, & begin to accept, is this…. I can’t do this any more. I cannot read fast enough, or long enough, to gather an adequate number of pearls to fulfill my own requirements; hell, I can’t even read for pleasure as much as I like, as I get tired & frustrated after struggling to read only a few pages. Typing this intro, though not too long for one of my outbursts, has left me gasping against the pain, & I still need to get it posted, after adding an ending section…. Before that becomes impossible, & this gets put off another day, I’m going to deliver my sorrowful apologies now, & warn y’all I may not be back very often, as it will take some extraordinarily compelling thoughts & feelings to get me to sit through this process…. Heck, a couple of haiku is the best I’ve been able to do in weeks.

I will miss being here, and miss all of my Gentle Readers, especially those who have demonstrated such loyal readership for many years…. Willow, chuq, Ashi Akira, Lou, Nadia, the jazz gang at swo8, with love dot I/O, PD, Katiemia (Fred & Katrina), maggiemae, Marie, megaeggs, Soochie, Carolyn the Light Worker, Wolfie of Europa, and numerous others I am sure I am forgetting to mention. They all have maintained their place in my heart, even when I had to stop going by & commenting almost a year ago, for they’ve continued to show up here to let me know they appreciate my work…. and that is a treasure I shall miss experiencing as often, to be sure….

My eyes are about done for the week, I think; this has been hard. I will miss y’all, severely, but, shall try to post now & again, as the impulse occurs, in what little time I can afford to spend at the computer. I cannot do so until I get this posted, so, let’s do that, with some of the most excellent dispatch I have learned of late, to wit:

Shall we Pearl?

“If folks don’t want to do it, it’s hard to keep them from it.”

~~ Yogi Berra ~~

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royalty-free-clip-art-vector-logos-of-black-and-orange-floral-acoustic-guitars-by-seamartini-graphics-6573

In keeping with my newly realized need for shortcuts, I’ve chosen a collection of classical music, a default position for me. Here is someone’s idea of some of the greatest works by famous composers, beginning with Beethoven, & moving on to various others, all of which have stood the test of time. I hope you enjoy it as I do, for the perfect background music to go with study, work, or mere listening pleasure…. Abondanza!….

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Comedy_Tragedy

Accentuated Lessons

Bold statements of calculated intent
Become common rule of the malcontent.
Avarice assumes such attractive wear
Beguiling deception, illusory and fair.

Grasping and pulling with ghostly hands
Legally proper in all the signatory lands.
Seeking and finding each vulnerable soul
Anguish as payment for exacting the toll.

Wraiths of commerce’s invisible dead guards
Still haunt the dreams left in sad empty yards.
While absentee nobles sit in stiffly elegant splendor
Served by sad-faced detainees in abject surrender.

Escape from reality is illusory at best
Often we falter and fail its daily test.
Only when focused on inner strength
Does peace stay with us for any length.

Peace lies within, always…..

~~ gigoid ~~

12/6/2013

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pearls_3

Naked Pearls

Known and Unknown….

*******

“H=R-E
Happiness equals Reality minus Expectations”

~~ unknown Smart Bee ~~

********

“What use is magic if it can’t save a unicorn?”

~~ Peter S. Beagle, “The Last Unicorn” ~~

********

“I maintain that Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it
by any path whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect….
I do not want to belong to any organization of a spiritual kind; please understand this …
If an organization be created for this purpose,
it becomes a crutch, a weakness, a bondage,
and must cripple the individual,
and prevent him from growing, from establishing his uniqueness,
which lies in the discovery for himself of that absolute, unconditioned Truth….”

~~ J. Krishnamurti ~~

********

“My friend Data, you see things with the wonder of a child.
And that makes you more human than any of us.”

~~ Yar, “Skin of Evil”, stardate 41601.3 ~~

********

“Once we truly know that life is difficult –
once we truly understand and accept it –
then life is no longer difficult.
Because once it is accepted, it no longer matters.”

~~ M. Scott Peck, “The Road Less Traveled” ~~

********

“A lizard ran out on a rock and looked up, listening
no doubt to the sounding of the spheres.
And what a dandy fellow! the right toss of a chin for you
and swirl of a tail!
If men were as much men as lizards are lizards
they’d be worth looking at”
.
~~ D. H. Lawrence (1928) ~~

********

“Art thou an artist, or art thou art?”

~~ unknown Smart Bee ~~

********

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Th…th…th…. that’s all, ffolkes. My eyes are done, as is my neck & shoulder. I’m gonna go walkabout for a while, until it all eases off…. I can’t say when I shall see y’all again; it won’t be forever, but, it probably won’t be real soon. In the meantime, be well, be happy as you may be, and maintain a level of strangeness with which you can be content…. I love you all….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest Carole, Mark,Theresa, & Richy
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid, the dubious

The *only* duly authorized Computer Curmudgeon.

PLEASE STOP READING THIS MESSAGE NOW.

“SCRAM!!!!!!!!!!”- Oscar the Grouch

Featured Image -- 8118

À bientôt, mon cherí….

7 thoughts on “A small dose of sweet sorrow….

  1. “Grain grows best in shit.”

    ~~ Ursula K. LeGuin ~~

    SMiLes gigoid one of the Main
    Reasons i still go to Church hehe
    as i will always be somewhat of a Strange
    one Perhaps outcast a bit but enjoying it all
    as no one owns my Emotions well perhaps
    almost no one but anyway.. today i walk in
    or as i do everywhere i go i Dance in but
    only an almost imperceptible Slow
    Dance other than what the
    F is that Dude doing
    hehe.. anyway
    i know the
    Ushers and they seem
    Pretty Nice as they sat everyone
    in Seats but me i guess they forgot
    that i do a swaying Dance as Spinal
    Stenosis will otherwise make my Legs
    Go Numb and while some folks would Rather
    Do Numb and Pain than Different i’ll take Heaven
    iNstead and Dance and Sing Higher to the Temple
    Top Standing
    up hehe..
    and my Secret
    Pleasure was the
    Story of the Day of
    the Story Book Hero of
    Jesus Standing Tall above
    the Crowd that day in the Gospel
    according to Luke or Whoever who wasn’t
    actually an Apostle but a Friend of Paul who
    was the Actual Apostle who never knew the Jesus
    Dude according to the Story who used to Be Saul
    and he had
    a Vision
    on the
    Road
    to Damascus
    or Wherever and
    Brought Jesus Back
    to Life in Story Book Form
    Fascinating Story but a Dancing
    Dude Still will not be invited to a Seat
    and Lord knows what would have happened
    if i came in with Sandals with Dirt on them and
    A Robe over my Head hAha.. anyway i Love to Sing
    To Thrill the Elderly Ladies like i Love to Josh about my AutoTune Voice..
    What else yes Yellow Boy is Dying it appears this Week Finally From the Close
    to Decade Old Illness of Feline Leukemia i am Devastated but Writing Helps
    me Keep
    all the
    Beyond
    iNFiNiTE
    Variables of
    Bi-Polar Disorder
    And Asperger’s in check
    as after all it’s all about
    Emotional Regulation
    And Sensory
    Integration
    anyway
    and
    there is a
    Science to the
    Art of Balance for
    the Tao and that kind of Stuff too hehe..
    anyway i hope you are doing well as it is
    Particularly Killing Katrina as now i am going
    to Have to Be the Only Cat Left as this is the Last
    of Four We Started off with at the Beginning of this
    Blogging Journey too.. but i am still Here and Glad
    to Be her Cat if she remembers what it was like to Pet me.. hAha..
    Cats will come to be Quite Possessive of the Lady of the House Science
    Shows this too.. heHe.. But Still i Love Cats and there are many Just waiting
    to be
    the
    Master
    of this Home
    as soon as all the
    Grieving is done as
    that reminds me i am
    Human and not afraid
    to fall and rise again and again in/as Love..
    other than that it’s Just Horrible and That’s Life too..
    i ain’t
    scared
    of the Shadows
    as Light comes from
    Dark Best When Dark does not Hide..
    And Oh Lord that’s not True as far as actually
    going Blind as i didn’t read the Whole Post First
    and i wish you the Best with Your Struggle with
    Macular Degeneration for all of what Life will Still
    Bring Good For You my FriEnd as it is always a Joy
    Visiting You and of course i’ve got some catching up to do here too..
    As your
    Words
    Will
    Surely
    not go
    unnoticed
    by me my FriEnd..:)

    “If folks don’t want to do it, it’s hard to keep them from it.”

    ~~ Yogi Berra ~~

    True Feelings don’t always match words.

    “H=R-E
    Happiness equals Reality minus Expectations”

    ~~ unknown Smart Bee ~~

    Life is Good Now only Now.

    “What use is magic if it can’t save a unicorn?”

    ~~ Peter S. Beagle, “The Last Unicorn” ~~

    It’s Like Ferris Bueller and Jesus Christ
    What Good is Freedom of Love if it doesn’t exist.

    “I maintain that Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it
    by any path whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect….
    I do not want to belong to any organization of a spiritual kind; please understand this …
    If an organization be created for this purpose,
    it becomes a crutch, a weakness, a bondage,
    and must cripple the individual,
    and prevent him from growing, from establishing his uniqueness,
    which lies in the discovery for himself of that absolute, unconditioned Truth….”

    ~~ J. Krishnamurti ~~

    Yes Fuck This
    Shit J We
    Will
    Dance Free
    And Let the Words Worry.

    “My friend Data, you see things with the wonder of a child.
    And that makes you more human than any of us.”

    ~~ Yar, “Skin of Evil”, stardate 41601.3 ~~

    Truly Sad When A Cat is More Human than a Human too..:)

    “Once we truly know that life is difficult –
    once we truly understand and accept it –
    then life is no longer difficult.
    Because once it is accepted, it no longer matters.”

    ~~ M. Scott Peck, “The Road Less Traveled” ~~

    God IS A Rose With Thorns And
    Flowers Those Who Accept The
    Thorns Come To Love The Rose

    -me

    i Had Written This Quote Somewhere Else
    So i Wanted to Read It For You Today gigoid..;)

    “A lizard ran out on a rock and looked up, listening
    no doubt to the sounding of the spheres.
    And what a dandy fellow! the right toss of a chin for you
    and swirl of a tail!
    If men were as much men as lizards are lizards
    they’d be worth looking at”
    .
    ~~ D. H. Lawrence (1928) ~~

    Hmm.. Swirling ‘Tales’ Feels Familiar..;)

    “Art thou an artist, or art thou art?”

    ~~ unknown Smart Bee ~~

    It’s True my Middle Name is ArThuR

    “When You Get Lost in New York City”

    And me-

  2. White Rabbit is singing in Jest i’m late i’m late for a
    very important Date but it’s true it’s just Katrina in the
    Back Ground fixing to steam get your ass of that Computer
    it’s time
    to Shop
    and you
    Best Dance Soon hehe..
    anyway i’m covering this one again for expediency today.. haha..;)

    “Grain grows best in shit.”

    ~~ Ursula K. LeGuin ~~

    Don’t Discount the Importance of it happening..;)

    “If folks don’t want to do it, it’s hard to keep them from it.”

    ~~ Yogi Berra ~~

    Yep Heaven’s a Real ‘Bitch’ for some folks..;)

    “Escape from reality is illusory at best
    Often we falter and fail its daily test.
    Only when focused on inner strength
    Does peace stay with us for any length.

    Peace lies within, always…..”

    ~~ gigoid ~~

    That Dance advice Katrina
    gives me is truly the best advice of all too..;)

    “H=R-E
    Happiness equals Reality minus Expectations”

    ~~ unknown Smart Bee ~~

    Just Dance Just Sing Just Dance Just Sing

    “What use is magic if it can’t save a unicorn?”

    ~~ Peter S. Beagle, “The Last Unicorn” ~~

    Imagination Dreams Fruition Creativity Takes
    Form as Essence Myth or Reality comes to be
    Meaning
    Essence
    Same to Be

    “I maintain that Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it
    by any path whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect….
    I do not want to belong to any organization of a spiritual kind; please understand this …
    If an organization be created for this purpose,
    it becomes a crutch, a weakness, a bondage,
    and must cripple the individual,
    and prevent him from growing, from establishing his uniqueness,
    which lies in the discovery for himself of that absolute, unconditioned Truth….”

    ~~ J. Krishnamurti ~~

    No one will ever teach me
    how to Dance Least of not me

    “My friend Data, you see things with the wonder of a child.
    And that makes you more human than any of us.”

    ~~ Yar, “Skin of Evil”, stardate 41601.3 ~~

    Amen previous answer applies..:)

    “Once we truly know that life is difficult –
    once we truly understand and accept it –
    then life is no longer difficult.
    Because once it is accepted, it no longer matters.”

    ~~ M. Scott Peck, “The Road Less Traveled” ~~

    Apparently M. Scott Peck never Experienced
    any form of Trigeminal Neuralgia not his Fault TG..
    Let’s Face it
    Shit Happens
    And Aphorisms
    Are often only SKin DeeP too.. hehe..;)

    “A lizard ran out on a rock and looked up, listening
    no doubt to the sounding of the spheres.
    And what a dandy fellow! the right toss of a chin for you
    and swirl of a tail!
    If men were as much men as lizards are lizards
    they’d be worth looking at”
    .
    ~~ D. H. Lawrence (1928) ~~

    Born Free as Free as Do you Feel/Sense the Rest of the story..:)

    “Art thou an artist, or art thou art?”

    ~~ unknown Smart Bee ~~

    No Thanks to the Labels

    And i didn’t look at the Answers
    From Before for what Fun would that make the Journey be now..:)

    But Yes this is one of my All Time Favorite the last time i answer the ‘Questions’..;)

    God IS A Rose With Thorns And
    Flowers Those Who Accept The
    Thorns Come To Love The Rose

    -me

    i Had Written This Quote Somewhere Else
    So i Wanted to Read It For You Today gigoid..;)

  3. “Grain grows best in shit.”

    ~~ Ursula K. LeGuin ~~

    SMiLes gigoid Back to
    The Future for today
    FiXinG to See How
    High
    ‘That
    Sapling ‘
    GRoWS
    Out oF aLL of this..
    As Perhaps Now i’ll Finally
    Graduate With WingS.. hehe..
    It’s True Been Holding my Breath..
    Now
    to
    Breathe
    Again Free..
    In Fields of
    Wheat Away From Chaff..:)

  4. Well! Returning from your latest post relieved this wasn’t your last! I can relate to the neck/back pain issue -one reason I nearly threw the towel on too. Laptop is too low and the library with it’s proper height desktops is full of loud mouthed idiots! Chronic neck/back pain everytime you try to use your machine is no life for anyone. And the eyesight! I need glasses for distance but have to take them off for computer work. Eyesight still cocked screen work even without them. Leads to squinting, hunching over laptop…leads to chronic headache and eye strain ending in a total inability to do anything lie dow. In a dark place and curse!! Oh and if I sit at the laptop too long my dodgy knee seizes up and that’s bad news for the back!! But where there’s a will there’s a way so hang in there! Wolfie hugs x

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