A good deal in a truck school….


“I’m confused – more than usual, that is.” — Smart Bee

I am considering using this as the opening line for this blog every day, much like the sig file I use at the end (“Sometimes I sits and….”)…. It certainly fits my usual state of mind when I sit down to write in the mornings. In fact, it occurs so often, it could be considered a ritualistic behavior, designed to mitigate the overall impact of having to wake up and get moving. I have learned enough in my years to make sure that I own a programmable coffee maker, that has my coffee ready for me when I get up. But, I still have to get up, stir in the condiments I use, then go stare at the computer while it boots up…. by the time I’ve sipped a few ounces down, and I’m beginning to be able to focus my vision on the screen, well, that is when the confusion becomes a factor…. right when, of course, it is of the least use to me…. See what I mean about Murphy?…..

I promised y’all, however, that I wouldn’t whine, so I won’t. I will merely note the state of confusion, and let it go at that, allowing you to snicker behind your hankies and roll your eyes at your discretion…. Let it never be said that I tried to limit your choices here, loud as I do tend to get sometimes in my enthusiasm for what I’m saying…. just chalk it up to the passion that goes along with being a triple Scorpio, and it will suffice, even if it doesn’t make any more sense. Remember, reality has no provisions listed that require ANYTHING to make sense, much less me….

You may be glad to know that most of the confusion has cleared, and been replaced by anger, or more accurately, frustration with my own body. Just when I had thought that things might start moving in a better direction, my lack of dietary balance rises up to cause other problems. I swear I don’t know whether to spit or whistle, not that either would help much, nor, in this case, make me feel much better….. not much will do so, in this instance. But, damn it, I’m not going to let this get me…… I am repeating that phrase to myself, over and over, in the hopes that my body will be persuaded to stop what it has begun…. I won’t, I won’t, I won’t….

Silly creatures, aren’t we? Apply a bit of pressure, and we retreat back to childhood in our reactions. I’m an adult, of this there is no further doubt…. whether I want to be or not. Responding to physical discomfort by chanting the mantra of all two-year olds is, as the years have impressed on me, not the most effective way of dealing with reality. Just because it fulfills some inner tape we run as part of our behavioral repertoire is no good reason to let it disturb our serenity, such as it exists. You know what, though? Our bodies don’t care how old we are, they just want the pain/discomfort to stop, and they don’t care if it takes a two-year old’s mentality and behavior to get it done…. in other words, maturity goes right into the toilet in the face of undue, or apparently unwarranted pain….

It seems as if the condition is backing off somewhat…. perhaps my inner appeal to reason has struck a chord, and persuaded whatever it is to mellow out for a while…. whatever, I’ll take it…. I started both the pearls below last night, getting a jump, as it were, so, I ‘ll do my best now to finish them off, then all we’ll need to do is either write, or find, an appropriate piece of poetry to fill in the central portion of today’s effort. I’m not sure how this will work out, but, we’ll see…. All you can do is all you can do, and no more….. so, let’s do what we can….. Shall we Pearl?….

“It is a misconception that spirituality brings everlasting happiness. There is no such thing. Sadness still comes to the wise, but, unlike most people, their clarity of mind allows them to see beyond the temporal emotionalism of the moment. They are farseeing, and so happiness and sorrow become the same to them.” — Deng Ming-Dao

This is a very subtle and difficult concept for anyone, of Western or Eastern orientation to reality, to fully understand, and even harder to put into action in everyday life…. It is also an idea I’m not sure I can completely hold to be true, in one sense at least. I can see how learning to accept both happiness and sorrow as being equal in value, in terms of how reality is structured is important to understanding. The very fact that we perceive them as opposites reflects our way of seeing the universe, as a dichotomy, with each characteristic balanced by its spiritual opposite, its mirror image, as it were; it follows that being able to recognize this without experiencing any discomfort or imbalance would be a valuable approach.

But, I cannot say that they are the same to me, for as a human, it is part of my nature to “like” the happiness, and “dislike” the sorrow; as people, we are going to have an emotional reaction to what we perceive, regardless of any other factors. It seems to me that the lesson to be learned, then, is to not allow our emotional preferences to  influence our inner state, beyond the state of acknowledging it. Our task then becomes to learn to accept it, and appreciate it for its place in reality, without letting our feelings about that place bring us to imbalance within our own spirit….  As I said, subtle and difficult, and more easily said than done, to be sure…..

The events surrounding this morning’s Pearl, as outlined in the intro, serve well to demonstrate how this principle can be useful to us in a very real sense….. I am unbalanced this morning, with my physical being complaining in no uncertain terms that it is displeased with the current state of my diet. This imbalance takes the form of severe discomfort, with some pain located in specific areas of concern. In addressing how I would deal with the feelings it generates, in the above section, it could be said that I was attempting to see past the event itself, into the meaning of it. This encourages some distance between the mind, and the actual events, and consequently, some distance from the feelings. With the sense of panic that accompanies such feelings abated, it is possible to adjust one’s attention to other places in the mind, and the imbalance of the negative feelings is brought back into proper  alignment….

As with most types of pain, the feelings we have in reaction make the pain worse, if only by forcing our attention onto it. By creating some inner distance from those feelings, we take control of our attention, and by doing so, reduce the amount of pain/discomfort by a significant factor…. The pain doesn’t go away, but it is reduced enough so we can deal with it in a more productive fashion. It is by no means easy; the pain/discomfort doesn’t like giving up its position in the forefront of the mind’s attention. But, as can be seen by this very pearl, it can free us from the tyranny that our own bodies may try to impose upon us…. In a very real sense, learning this lesson, and how to apply it to the real world, can free our minds completely, to exist in a place where good and bad do not affect our inner balance….

“If you regard discomfort as a normal condition you are not likely to be troubled by want.” — Ieyasu’s maxims

This maxim points to one of the important attitudes one must cultivate, in order for this principle to work properly. It reminds me of the old story about the colonist and the Indian, walking through the forest in winter, sometime in the late 1600’s. The colonist is fully dressed against the cold in leathers, sweaters, jackets, furs, boots, and full beard; the Indian is in moccasins, breech cloth, and skin, despite the snow all around. The colonist says to the Indian, “Aren’t you cold?” The Indian asks in return, “Is your face cold?” “Well, yeah, but I’m used to that,” is the reply….. The Indian just smiles, and says, “Me all face….”

Put most simply, it’s all in what you are used to…. So, get used to learning to adjust your own mind, teaching it to control its reaction to events of all types, rather than letting the world, and its unwelcome events, adjust it for you….. Me, I’d hate to have the words “willy nilly” apply to me in ANY respect….. I prefer having some say in the matter…. and I’ll tell you, it has been an invaluable tool this morning, else there would be no Pearl today…..

And if I laugh at any mortal thing,
‘T is that I may not weep.
— Lord Byron (1788-1824) — Don Juan, Canto iv, Stanza 4

Ogden Nash, I think….

Common Cold

Go hang yourself, you old M.D.!
You shall not sneer at me.
Pick up your hat and stethoscope,
Go wash your mouth with laundry soap;
I contemplate a joy exquisite
I’m not paying you for your visit.
I did not call you to be told
My malady is a common cold.

By pounding brow and swollen lip;
By fever’s hot and scaly grip;
By those two red redundant eyes
That weep like woeful April skies;
By racking snuffle, snort, and sniff;
By handkerchief after handkerchief;
This cold you wave away as naught
Is the damnedest cold man ever caught!

Give ear, you scientific fossil!
Here is the genuine Cold Colossal;
The Cold of which researchers dream,
The Perfect Cold, the Cold Supreme.
This honored system humbly holds
The Super-cold to end all colds;
The Cold Crusading for Democracy;
The Führer of the Streptococcracy.

Bacilli swarm within my portals
Such as were ne’er conceived by mortals,
But bred by scientists wise and hoary
In some Olympic laboratory;
Bacteria as large as mice,
With feet of fire and heads of ice
Who never interrupt for slumber
Their stamping elephantine rumba.

A common cold, gadzooks, forsooth!
Ah, yes. And Lincoln was jostled by Booth;
Don Juan was a budding gallant,
And Shakespeare’s plays show signs of talent;
The Arctic winter is fairly coolish,
And your diagnosis is fairly foolish.
Oh what a derision history holds
For the man who belittled the Cold of Colds!

Ogden Nash

“Abolition of a woman’s right to abortion, when and if she wants it, amounts to compulsory maternity: a form of rape by the State.” — Edward Abbey

This is a difficult pearl to write, as it turns out….. I’ve been cutting and pasting it ahead now for a week or two, trying to get past the anger I feel whenever I think about the number of asshole men who actively perpetrate the oppression of women in our society, a number far too large for my taste, and one I hope to make smaller before I leave this world…. one way or another. I’d prefer to have them listen to me, and consider what I say to them, and subsequently change their ways…. but, if it takes more than that, say, the judicious application of brute force upon their person, well, I hope to be able to oblige them…. because, in my world, any man who is cowardly enough to try to assume his delusional superiority over women deserves whatever they get from other men, as well as from women strong enough to fight back….

“You’re a very strong woman… Though this would be a traumatic experience that you would never forget, I think that you would be very successful in
life.” — Senator Dan Quayle telling an 11-year-old girl — why he would want her to have the baby if she were raped by her father, 10/18/88 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)

Note, please that this quote from the Quail was made 20 years ago…. yet, the Republican party includes this very atrocity as a part of its platform…. disguised of course, and never directly addressed, or even obliquely alluded to, but, these attitudes are just the same now as they were then; perhaps even worse. A very similar statement, just one of several in the same vein, was made in the last couple of weeks by a currently running candidate for the Senate, and the R/R ticket has steadfastly refused to speak out against what the man said…. or about any of the other statements by the low-class misogynists now inhabiting the entire Republican party. In fact, Lyin’ Ryan is already on record as having made the same assertion as Mr. Quayle did in 1988, earlier in this year’s campaign.

“The moral test of government is how it treats those who are in the dawn of life — the children; those who are in the twilight of life — the aged; and those who are in the shadows of life — the sick, the needy and the handicapped.” — Hubert Humphrey

These asinine fools would have us believe that their entire concern in this issue is for the fetus…. when in reality it is their own sexual insecurities that they are protecting, by taking the decision about any such matters, involving women’s health, out of the hands of the women involved, and putting it in the hands of men, who are deathly afraid of the women’s sexuality, because they automatically feel inferior…. This creates the reaction of rage, or anger, which always covers our fears, and these cowards in men’s clothing cover it all by spouting their lies and insanity even more….

I find at this point that I must bring this to a (temporary) end…. I am not paying attention to the lesson of today’s first section, and my anger at these assholes is getting to the point where I want to put away the computer and pick up my stick, to go looking for a few of them to bludgeon until some of my anger is released. That, while satisfying in the short run, would no doubt lead to complications I’m not prepared to accept, so….. but, I’ll be back to this subject, be sure…. I need to ask all those women out there who are supporting Romney and Ryan just when it was they lost their minds….

Boy, if it ain’t one thing, it’s another! Due to unforeseen but amicable changes in scheduling, this Pearl has been truncated a trifle, but apparently without harm…. at least on first pass. Since it is done, we’re going to let if fly without any further checks, other than to see what spell-checker has freaked about…. Tomorrow promises to be, well, different, which, I guess, is all we can really hope for…..Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.





2 thoughts on “A good deal in a truck school….

  1. Reblogged this on gigoid and commented:


    I’m involved in battling demons today (well, that’s every day, but, today it’s taking precedence. Plus, I’m going to Twitter a while. Maybe. In any case, I’ll be back to relative normal by tomorrow, or, thereabouts, if all goes as planned. (Shut it, Murphy!) This one gives a bit of the flavor of my day today, and, might even stimulate a thought here & there… One may hope…. See ya, ffolkes…. blessed be…


  2. Master Child my friEnd..
    Child is God Now noW..
    Now that’s a statement
    that’s hard to hear or even
    listen to in
    ironic as
    iT IS i AM..
    SerioUsly.. tHeRe IS A
    sAMe ‘Supernatural’ Child
    wHeRE Supernatural is
    juST anotHeR word
    For Superwords
    as words are
    oF ImAGiNAtiON
    as we construct
    these word images
    long ago.. and assign
    essence to those words
    liGht or DaRker as nows go on..
    Oh.. the recipe for Happiness.. Bliss.. Nirvana.. Heaven.. eTc..
    Satori.. Kundalini Risen.. wheRe thE Force oF liGht as Angelic BEinG
    wins over darkness as Demons Within.. all metaphors my friEnd for IsReaL..
    other than
    that words
    are skELetons
    and empty sHeLLs
    of LiFe noW waiting to
    SpArk A LiGht to coMe
    out and play agAin.. yes…
    THE Child.. the God.. the LiGht..
    THE Love with no pain that Plays as child..
    seRioUsly.. iF i could put this child in a piLL or in
    an injection and administer it to the populace aS WhOle
    those who hoard fear and hate would no longer worship that devil..
    as that devil would no longer exist.. THE Devil is dead no different than God is dead
    for those
    no child within
    for child and God same
    to free again.. sure.. juST a bunch
    of flowery esoteric gibberish words
    for someone who does not live in the
    SuperNatural of the child.. the place with
    no limits or expectations.. the never land..
    the never ending story alWays
    starting ending beginning
    finishing never now
    as now goes
    on eternAlly
    noW as child sMiLes
    totaLLy exposed as God’s
    THE Laugh no less and more my FriEnd..
    THE place of zero pain.. zero gravity hOlding
    SpiRit dOwn.. THE place wHEre the word spiRiT
    and HeArt.. and SoUl Gains essence of meaning
    as one SeNSes and FeeLs SpiRit.. eTc.. beyond an empty
    verse like John 3:16 that says to be a Christian one must
    believe that a man is an only Son of God born of a virgin
    without sperm.. and resurrected from the dead as a way to
    expand an empire as all politics is full of iLLusory fears and empty FucKinG promises
    to take the power and the force and the child away from human.. yes.. to separate God
    from Supernatural.. yes.. to Go to hell now.. and stay there until death and never FucKinG
    even live
    3 or 4 or 5
    or maybe no
    years at all when
    God becomes a Purple
    Dinosaur instead of isReaL Within
    as cHiLd sMiLes iN MoVinG CoNnecTinG
    CreATivity more than juST a FucKInG scream
    of screen or empty words in verses behind walls
    and ceilings wHeRe God is told to shut up and be still..
    FucK that
    world my
    friEnd.. FucK
    those Demons..
    FucK everything
    And become that
    Supernatural Child within..
    iF and when you can or WiLL my FriEnd..
    Hehe.. and to be clear
    none of this is directed
    at YOU personally.. i was/am LooKinG
    for a way to write this today and you
    mY FriEnd provide this gift noW and
    spArk oF inspiration.. Now noW..
    And seriouSLY.. it’s likely only
    valuable to folks who
    live wHeRe
    i do..
    God wiNks
    And child wiNks sAMe..
    aLL Superchild Supernatural aS Such..
    but surE.. it’s like SUPER WalmART.. open 24 hOURS
    a day.. NOW.. HeLL..Even on Christmas as Love never takes a Holiday..
    THE Holiday..
    And at leASt
    for/as ME.. GOD..
    never ever BoWinG
    dOwn to OtHeR.. butt THE Child withiN..:)


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