It isn’t my habit to begin the day with blood and death, before I’ve even had my morning coffee, so I was mildly surprised to find both awaiting me as I stepped into the hallway outside my room. Since the body lying half-in, half-out of the elevator was pale, unmoving, and there was a box car’s worth of blood pooled around the area, I didn’t bother to check the pulse, but just pulled out my phone to call it in to dispatch, avoiding transfer of the still sticky mess on the floor to my shoes by walking to the other end of the hall. As a detective in the Homicide division, I figured it was awfully damn accommodating of the murderer to drop his handiwork right outside my door, and I wasn’t going to let anyone else take over my first home-delivery corpse….
What do you think? Decent opening for a murder mystery? I haven’t figured out the cop’s name yet, but you can bet it will be something hard-boiled, and cynical. Hey, probably the biggest market out there in the book world is murder mysteries, and if I can come up with an engaging character, it could lead to a whole series of books, thus assuring me of a more comfortable retirement, and keeping me busy enough to not intrude into the lives of my children more than is healthy, for them, or me. Not that such has been an issue, but I don’t wish to be a burden on them in my ‘golden’ years, and it would be cool to hit it big with my writing…..
We writers of blogs probably all have a similar dream…. Some editor or agent will be cruising the Net, and stumble across our work…. they’ll be so impressed they offer us a the gig of a lifetime…. For me, that would be a daily column, wherein I can share with millions of folks all my angst and silliness, in the process, perhaps, convincing a few of them to make some changes in their own sphere of influence, and little by little, the world will change….. for the better…… Well, that’s the dream, anyway….. All I need now is the agent, the editor/publisher, and a venue…. 🙂 I know, it’s a dream, though, so it can be as foolish as I want it to be….
Foolish, or profound and insightful, it would no doubt be best to just get on with it. Nobody can read my writing, if I don’t write, so, let’s get into the water, and find something I can turn into a gem of great beauty…. Shall we Pearl?…..
“The mockingbird can change its tune eighty-seven times in seven minutes. Politicians regard this interesting fact with envy.” — Smart Bee
Hah! What a perfect opening pearl! Funny, and as true as the day is long….. It’s almost enough to start me off on a rant, since it zoomed right in to focus on my favorite group of miscreants to pester with my pointed stick. I say “almost” because I’ll need a bit more than this to really find a vulnerable point at which to poke; this is good, but it’s a bit imprecise for good ranting…. Let’s see what else we can come up with…..
“Innocence, most often, is good fortune and not a virtue.” — Anatole France
Hmm…. not bad, but not quite right, either….. Politicos, and other denizens of the BRC, all want us to believe in their innocence, but seem to want us to buy into that without any proof of said innocence. Not to mention, I would wager serious money that none of them qualify to use the term to describe themselves, in ANY area of their life, so, in that sense, it’s too easy…. We’ll go on, & look for something “mo bettah”….
“If you wish to be a success in the world, promise everything, deliver nothing.” — Napoleon
Nappie’s rule of thumb here could be said to be a summarization of every political party platform I’ve seen during an election in the past 60 years, and would no doubt make a decent rant, as the recent swearing in of our latest electoral fantasy winner provides a number of such promises, that could be used for examples…. But, to be fair, I suppose we should give Barry a few weeks, at least, to see whether or not he will make any effort to meet his stated goals, or if he’ll just put it away in the drawer marked, “election promises” along with the tax cuts, wars ended, and bankers punished for their crimes….
“One of the most basic principles for making and keeping peace within and between nations… is that in political, military, moral, and spiritual confrontations, there should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation of differences before resorting to combat.” — Jimmy Carter
Damn! That tears it! I forgot entirely about Jimmy Carter, so of course, since I’m looking for examples of how politicians screw with us, Murphy sends me off into one of Jimmy’s totally rational ideas, and my entire premise is shattered. Of course, Jimmy Carter is that exception that proves the rule for politicians; he is a morally upright man, who has worked his entire life to make the world a better place, working for the benefit of all people, yet somehow got roped into politics. He’s such a nice man, he didn’t want to say no, and got stuck in public office for most of his adult years.
Shoot, now we’ll have to cancel the rest of this pearl…. It’s no doubt too late to salvage the sense of outrage needed to produce a rant, and it doesn’t seem as if Smart Bee is going to cough up anything that hits the correct spot…. So, I’ll just leave you with this final indictment, and get on with the rest of this….. whatever this is…..
“A politician has to be able to see both sides of an issue, so he can get around it.” — Smart Bee
“Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.” — T. S. Eliot
MORNING AT THE WINDOW
THEY are rattling breakfast plates in basement kitchens,
And along the trampled edges of the street
I am aware of the damp souls of housemaids
Sprouting despondently at area gates.
The brown waves of fog toss up to me
Twisted faces from the bottom of the street,
And tear from a passer-by with muddy skirts
An aimless smile that hovers in the air
And vanishes along the level of the roofs.
— T.S. Eliot
That such have died enables us
The tranquiler to die;
That such have lived, certificate
— Emily Dickinson
“Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.” — Clive James
I love to dance, so this makes a lot of sense to me. It also explains why there are no true politicians who are capable of either sustained laughter or the simplest waltz, much less a tango…. Ah hell…. brain freeze…..
I hate that. Calliope has apparently deserted me to stimulate another fledgling poet somewhere, and Thalia, the muse of comedy, is currently on sabbatical. Polyhymnia, muse of sacred poetry, bores me to tears, and Clio, muse of history, is busy on another blog. In fact, all nine of the classical muses are unavailable, so I’m stuck with whatever I have in my head, and that means we’re all in serious trouble….. The pressure is building, and if I can’t find some sort of outlet in the next few minutes, well, the carnage will be extensive, rest assured…..
On most days, Smart Bee would provide me with at least SOMETHING to bridge the gap, but, so far today, it has been relatively uncooperative, as the first pearl demonstrated. We may have to resort to emergency procedures, which, since this hasn’t occurred before, are untested, and might not be altogether safe…. They do contain explosives, in small, manageable portions, for clearing a path through any debris that may be encountered. Quantities of debris are often a result when I have to use the emergency tools…. I realize it’s a risky policy, but, hey, we run this operation on a shoestring, and all we can do is all we can do, y’know….
— Bother! said Pooh, as he went blotchy from that time with Eeyore.
There! I didn’t want to do it, but circumstances forced my hand. I don’t enjoy pulling Pooh’s covers like this, but, given his true nature, as revealed here, he deserves it. People need to know this kind of stuff, before they let their children get all dewy-eyed at his purported terminal cuteness, and find out later how twisted he really is. It’s a sad and all-too-accurate commentary on human nature when one thinks of how many young minds have been corrupted by this evil little bear of no brain; people tend to fall for such apparent innocence every time, and allow themselves to be disadvantaged, and victimized, by evil wearing the guise of good.
There, see, even the worst of pearls can be turned around, if one is patient, and has no shame. I’m going to allow this to die a peaceful death at this point, since I can’t seem to think of anywhere else it should, or could, go….. Must be the lack of muses….. In any case, we’ll bring this faux pearl to a halt now, with no regrets whatsoever…..
“YOU!! Give me the CUTEST, PINKEST, most charming little VICTORIAN DOLL HOUSE you can find!! An make it SNAPPY!!” — Zippy the Pinhead
Shameless, I know…. just shameless…. You might ask yourself, though, what YOU would do if you found yourself in my position, with a blog to post, and not a damn thing worth writing in your head….. Another day, maybe I would have put a bit more effort into at least providing this with some class, or elegance, but, hell, it just didn’t seem appropriate today. I guess I just woke up on the wrong side of my head….
We’ll just have to console ourselves with knowing that it is done, which, after all, is the real quest here….. Well, that, and maintaining the pitifully weak grasp I have on sanity….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
I just sits.