BANG! CRASH! Hey, folks, don’t mind the noise….. SMASH! BANG!…. Murphy has brought some friends this morning…. CRASH!….. and they got into a big argument, that has turned into a huge brawl. RUUUUUMBLE! POW!…… Ouch, that had to hurt!….. I imagine they’ll stop breaking up my furniture in a few minutes, so if y’all don’t object, I’ll take a short break here, and let them finish up. BlAM! POP! CRUNCH!…. Oooh, that was nasty! Duck!…. Okay, I’ll be back shortly, when peace breaks out…..
Okay, then….. they seem to have finished up. What a mess! A couple of mornings ago, Murphy made me knock over a lamp first thing upon awakening, and must have thought it was funny, because he did it again this morning….. only worse, as it took the entire table down today. Then, I sit up, only to find Murphy, and three of his pals, rolling around, locked in fierce combat on my floor, with furniture flying in all directions…. It was almost like a scene from an old western, only there was no honky-tonk piano in the background, and no ever-present odor of horse manure…..
It was almost enough to make me go back to sleep, but, being the dedicated blogger I am, I got up and retreated, WITH my coffee, to worship at the porcelain throne for a while….. which seems to have worked, as they all got bored and left…. It’s handy that Murphy and his myrmidons have an objection to bathrooms and other places dedicated to cleaning up….. That sort of adolescent attitude is helpful to us old farts….. especially those of us who have achieved frequent-flier status in there….
Now, though, I’m at somewhat of a loss, without any idea of where to go from here…. It took all I’ve got to get this far, and I’m afraid I may have used up a good portion of today’s equanimity to keep from freaking out so early. I’m not sure what that will mean later on, but it promises to make life interesting….
Uh oh, there’s that word again…. interesting…. My life has, per the curse leveled at me when I was younger by the old Chinese gentleman, been far too interesting for my comfort up to this point, and I’m not sure I can live through any more “interesting times”…. I suppose I could just hide for the day, stay in my room and let the world go on about its business without my unnecessary presence; it’s not as if I’m involved in any seriously important stuff right now.
But, I can’t allow hiding to become a habitual response to Murphy’s ubiquitous efforts at disrupting my serenity, or he’ll win. Not going to happen, not on my watch….. So, we’ll slip on flippers and a mask, and go see what the old dB has for us this morning….. Shall we Pearl?…..
“How’s the wife? Is she at home enjoying capitalism?” — Zippy the Pinhead
I’m feeling a bit nasty today, it having occurred to me that I am now into my third year of waiting for Social Security to get through winding their way to giving me my benefits…. It’s insane, is what it is…. So, the following old school group of pearls all have one object… to vilify, denigrate, and otherwise make fun of government, and all those insane, sociopathic people who engage in that disgusting habit…..
“An elephant: a mouse built to government specifications.” — Lazarus Long
“For some reason the little Senators make us laugh.” — Smart Bee
PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors. — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”
Beware the Jabberwock, my son
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch
Beware the jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious bandersnatch
— _Jabberwocky_, by Lewis Carroll (Charles Dodgson)
(Didn’t anyone ever tell you? In Jabberwocky, indeed, in most of Dodgson’s work, metaphor is king…. the jub jub bird is, of course, a Supreme Court justice, and obviously, a frumious bundersnatch is a member of Congress (in Dodgson’s world, a member of Parliament)….., and the Jabberwock? Patently, we’re talking of the President (or the Prime Minister, take your pick…..)
“Gun collection programs are a good way to get rid of a murder weapon.” — Smart Bee
(Oops…. wrong pearl…. wait…. no, it’s okay, it will work here…. sorry, but, when irony strikes….)
Honest politician — Oxymoron
“All authority is quite degrading.” — Oscar Wilde
Lastly, to round it off at nine… a very cosmic number, BTW… a summary of the other eight pearls, from one of the sharpest political and social philosophers of the twentieth century…..
“Americans like to talk about (or be told about) Democracy but, when put to the test, usually find it to be an ‘inconvenience.’ We have opted instead for an authoritarian system *disguised* as a Democracy. We pay through the nose for an enormous joke-of-a-government, let it push us around, and then wonder how all those assholes got in there.” — Frank Zappa
Soliloquy of The Solipsist
I walk alone;
The midnight street
Spins itself from under my feet;
When my eyes shut
These dreaming houses all snuff out;
Through a whim of mine
Over gables the moon’s celestial onion
Make houses shrink
And trees diminish
By going far; my look’s leash
Dangles the puppet-people
Who, unaware how they dwindle,
Laugh, kiss, get drunk,
Nor guess that if I choose to blink
When in good humor,
Give grass its green
Blazon sky blue, and endow the sun
Yet, in my wintriest moods, I hold
To boycott any color and forbid any flower
Know you appear
Vivid at my side,
Denying you sprang out of my head,
Claiming you feel
Love fiery enough to prove flesh real,
Though it’s quite clear
All you beauty, all your wit, is a gift, my dear,
~~ Sylvia Plath
SIGH…. gotta love genius….
“Can I leave now? My brain is full.” — Smart Bee
I’m not sure exactly why, but this appeals to me; I’ve felt this way often, and can empathize strongly with whoever wrote it….. In its quiet little way, it also points at my own current state of mind, in that I seem to be out of outrage…. There are so many examples in my sphere of perception, of the evil being done every day, by the government, by churches, by random assholes with more testosterone than brains, I’m finding it hard to pick out just one or two to rant about…. For me, that is a disastrous state to be caught in, since much of what I do here involves ranting about stuff that tickles my outrage….
I suppose y’all might just be laughing at me just now, as this may seem like a minor complaint…. and, in a cosmic sense, it really is. But, lest we forget, MY cosmos is the one being affected, which will affect what I write about, and when, and how much, and y’all will be the ones that have to deal with the fallout….. You’ll be singing a different song, then, I’ll wager…. Ripples in the pond, don’t’cha know?….
This isn’t to say that’s what I WANT to happen; I’ve given my opinion previously on how much I dislike being unable to write something, whether it’s a rant, or an old-school pearl, or a poem…. Writing has become for me as important as reading, and I’ll consider writing ANYTHING, if it seems even the slightest bit intriguing, just like I’ll read just about ANYTHING, including milk cartons and cereal boxes, if that’s all there is to read…. Now, writing has assumed an equal importance in my scheme, and any glitches in the process can stimulate worry…. mankind’s true nemesis….
“More people have died of worry, than ever bled to death.” — Lazarus Long…..
Rather than spending any significant amount of time worrying, I decided to seize on what I had, and just jump in & start writing…. So far, it isn’t too shabby, but needs…. something…. aha! A hook…. I need a hook…. okay, let’s see what we have laying about…..
Nope, nada damn thing to be seen anywhere in the vicinity, which kicks the worrying up a notch or two, for sure…. Calliope has deserted me for other parts, the headlines are too bland to get worked up about, and the Westboro Baptist Church of Fools has been strangely silent of late…. All I have here, as I gaze around the room in pathetic hope, are the same old items I’ve been looking at for seven months now, since moving here…. most of which has either been already explored, or isn’t worth mentioning….
I see now I should have, perhaps, prepared for this a bit better; research is always useful, and it would be nice to not have to get all antsy just because my imagination is coming up empty. Whining about it isn’t going to help, or solve the issue, so we’ll skip right by that, and go into strategic planning mode, followed by a dip into tactical operations mode, and we’re home free…. Let’s see now, first, a small diversion… I can do that…. Look, over there! It’s a pearl!….
“Why can’t we ever attempt to solve a problem in this country without having a ‘War’ on it?” — Rich Thomson
Now, THERE’s a question for the BRC, but I’m afraid it wouldn’t get as much response as we’d like…. Good strategy demands, after a diversion, a foray out into enemy territory, to gather intelligence…. so….
“All power rests on hierarchy: An army is nothing but a well-organized lynch mob.” — Edward Abbey
Okay, that’s intelligent…. now, we shoot back…..
“If a million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.” — Anatole France
Yep, that had to hurt…. Okay, so now, all we have to do to have achieved our strategic goal is to finish them off with unassailable logic, combined with a bit of humor…. no worries…
“Any fool can know. The point is to understand.” — Albert Einstein
“It’s not the pace of life that bothers me, it’s the sudden stop at the end.” — Hobbes
See? It’s all in the wrist…. Using two pearls for the last thought was deliberate, though it helped that both of them came up one after the other, as if pre-ordained…. But it just fit, as the first supplies the unassailable logic, and the second the humor…. and, as we all know by now, timing is everything……
As probably came through loud and clear, I was a bit worried about this Pearl; it didn’t want to come together without some rather tricky meandering. All in all, though, it came out okay, and, once again,…. wait for it…. It’s done! That factor alone accounts for at least half of its charm, in my book…. What’s more, it’s still quite early in the day, so there is hope that the less than auspicious beginning can be mitigated enough to make the rest of the day a bit less chaotic… Time will tell, I have no doubt, whatsoever….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
I just sits.