Subtle signs of imminent success….

Ffolkes,
As the author of the original Theory of Bozoid Tendencies, it is not unknown for me to provide entertainment to the world at large, by acting out my own particular brand of nose-honking, giant-shoe wearing, pie-throwing hilarity. I didn’t, however, expect to find myself in the position of having my own brain commit a mental screw-up of such major proportion as to challenge Barnum & Bailey for the most clownish activity in a single event, all for the sake of a rant that would otherwise have been overlooked as being pretty tame, compared to some that have been set free in this venue. However, when the nose grows, you have to let it show….

Ayn Rand is NOT Anais Nin, by any stretch of the imagination; just ask Google, as I should have done…. One wouldn’t think so, anyway, unless they read my rant from yesterday, wherein I completely transposed the two, not just once, but, numerous times.  I can only plead E.O.A., a medical condition for which there is no known remedy or cure, other than quasi-voluntary euthanasia…. (E.O.A. = Early Onset Alzheimer’s…) I can also only apologize to the shade of Ms. Nin, who didn’t deserve my accusatory defamation, since the ideas that prompted it belong entirely to Ayn Rand…..

Somehow, in the vast cavern of emptiness that I call my mind, the two names were interchanged, one for the other, and I ran with it all the way to the wrong goal, on the wrong field, in the wrong stadium, in the wrong city, in the wrong country, on the wrong continent, and on the wrong planet…. Other than that, I stand by everything I said…. Embarrassing as all get out, you betcha, but, honoring the truth includes exposing my own transgressions, if I expect to have the right to examine those of others….. Damn it…..

On a more positive note, if nothing else, my literary, and literal, faux pas DID give me a certified excuse to write the above paragraphs ahead of time, (i.e., yesterday….) which I jumped on right away, as it will give me a bit of space in the morning to come up with something appropriate for the intro section, other than the hyper-entropic convolutions I’ve been spewing recently. Not to say they’ve been bad, just frighteningly random, to someone who is fond of their serenity….. and that is probably quite enough of a head start…. everything after this point is fresh; everything before this point is, well, not stale, but not fresh…. you know what I mean….

I’m going to try make it difficult to tell though, so, no worries….. Actually, I’d thought to spend a bit more time apologizing for my foolishness, but, I figure some of y’all got a good laugh out of it, so I can probably get by with what I’ve got so far, without having to worry that guilt will rise up and smite me later on. And now, of course, I’ve begun to babble, James Joyce-style, which means we must be getting near the required number of words and paragraphs to meet the intro standards….. thank goodness!

Not that I was getting nervous or anything, but I’ve already had to wring out my t-shirt twice since starting today, so maybe we should just let all this go, and get on with the true object of today’s post, to wit, some cogent postulations on events in reality. Or, I could take a break here, and let it percolate for a bit….. Nah, it would no doubt get snatched up by Murphy, who would then proceed to change a letter here, a word there, and before I know it, another letter from a lawyer to report more legal action against me….. No, thanks, I’ll just stay right here, and get started on today’s dive for something to chew on….  Shall we Pearl?
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Yesterday, on Monday, the 18th, another blogger came by the blog to read my post, and made the comment below…. It was such a compelling comment, I am reproducing it here, verbatim, to attempt to give it the attention it deserves, as a very good question indeed….

“I just finished a book by the NY Times ‘The Ethicist’ called Be Good. It was about how to be ethical in various practical circumstances. It made me realise how little I care about being ethical in many minor ways. Just by living it seems that we inflict suffering – it’s impossible to be completely in the right at all times, or for one’s impact on the world to be only good (car driving, for instance, or milk drinking). So the aim is to minimise the bad rather than eliminate it – every bad thing not done is something to feel slightly better about.???” — butimbeautiful, 2/18/2013

In the final analysis, I agree with the part of this that states that it isn’t possible to be perfect in our attempts to be completely ethical, without entering into the realm of good vs. bad, and having to make a decision that is not exactly the most ethical, or that will cause pain or hurt to another. Sometimes, as is pointed out, we must do so for the sake of our own safety, or for another ethically acceptable reason, but, mostly, it turns out to be a decision based on expediency, or, what is most convenient, or most comfortable, for the person making the decision. Ms. beautiful surmises, then, that the aim should be to minimize the effects, and to accept the karmic burden without guilt over things we cannot control….. if I am reading it right….

I am compelled by my own beliefs to disagree, to a certain extent…. In my mind, ethical perfection is a goal, one that we are constantly trying to reach…. Once we start lowering our own standards in the struggle to reach that goal, we take the risk of allowing this expedience to become an acceptable reason to abrogate our duty; it becomes not an anomalous decision, but a common one, used any time we have our own reasons to not wish to comply with a certain ethical request, or decision to be made. There is an old saw about the “slippery slope” one enters when deciding to make ethical decisions, and this is exactly what it refers to…. taking that first step onto the slope is risky, and often disastrous…..

I think it is better, most of the time, to try to maintain one’s ethical standards, no matter the cost to my own feelings, or to anyone else’s. The respect I gain for myself by doing so can easily outweigh any guilt or discomfort I might feel from having to let my standards down, and makes the effort worthwhile, in my mind. I’m not always going to succeed, as I am human, like everyone else, but, if I can, I will NOT lower my standards for the sake of expedience….

So, I guess what I’m saying is, I agree that we, as humans, cannot always meet the ethical standards we set up for ourselves…. but, it is a mistake to believe that not meeting those standards is okay…. I think that ethical perfection is not only possible, but critical, and the practice of always trying to maintain one’s standards is worth the pain it may cause, both to myself, and to others…. because, in the final analysis, I refuse to give up my self-respect for the sake of expediency, that modern society forces us to confront every day….. Patting myself on the back for NOT doing bad isn’t the same as doing good, no matter how logical it may seem….

In my head, all these arguments and discussions eventually get to a point where the easiest way to express my own thoughts on the matter is to bring in one of my oldest pearls, one I’ve used often, one that fully explains, and fully expresses my feelings on morality and ethics…. I will use it now to finish off this pearl, before it gets any more cumbersome…. just pay attention to this one, as it forms a large part of my own personal view of life, and how it should be lived…..

“Do not confuse “duty” with what other people expect of you; they are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe to yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect.

But there is no reward at all for doing what other people expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible. It is easier to deal with a footpad than it is with the leech who wants “just a few minutes of your time, please — this won’t take long.” Time is your total capital, and the minutes of your life are painfully few. If you allow yourself to fall into the vice of agreeing to such requests, they quickly snowball to the point where these parasites will use up 100 percent of your time — and squawk for more!

So learn to say No – and to be rude about it when necessary. Otherwise you will not have time to carry out your duty, or to do your own work, and certainly no time for love and happiness. The termites will nibble away your life and leave none of it for you. (This rule does not mean that you must not do a favor for a friend, or even a stranger. But let the choice be yours. Don’t do it because it is “expected” of you.) ”

— Lazarus Long, in Time Enough For Love, by Robert Heinlein.
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Well, I knew there was a poem floating around in there somewhere…. and, gosh, here it is! I can’t say I’m completely happy with it…. I think in the future, it may grow some more verses…. but, for now, it’s done, so…. what do you think?….

Waiting to Find

Feeling and looking routinely fabulous,
seldom seems as hauntingly ridiculous,
scintillation is hardly more perilous,
or quite as fascinatingly anomalous.

Gaia pales in the face of redundancy,
yet welcomes elemental shades of necromancy,
never failing, episodic bouts of philanthropy,
can often be misconstrued as misanthropy.

It’s all much too fancy,
yet not sufficiently chancy,
to fulfill the promise made for pants.
It can’t be the thyme,
so it must be the rhyme.

~~ gigoid
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“In the midst of the word he was trying to say,
In the midst of his laughter and glee,
He had softly and suddenly vanished away
— for the Snark *was* a Boojum, you see.”

— Lewis Carroll, The Hunting of the Snark

I came across this little gem as I cruised Smart Bee this morning, immediately copying and pasting it over here…. but, without any clear idea as to why I did so, beyond its obvious appeal as nonsensical metaphor. So, I’m now sitting here, staring at it, wondering how the hell to turn it into a pearl worth publishing with my name attached to it….. In most cases, it wouldn’t be an issue at all, as I can generally turn nonsense into further nonsense without conscious effort, but, something about this today is tickling my unconscious, and I won’t be able to do anything else until I figure out what that may be….

In one way, what I said about it being a nonsensical metaphor is absolutely correct…. one not even particularly obscure, that could easily be applied to describe the first section of today’s Pearl, at least up until the point of the final pearl’s inclusion. But, as I ponder its deeper significance, I see that it could also be a metaphor for the last three years of my life, if not all of it…. which surprised me to some extent, until I realized that this will help me to endure the waiting I have yet to experience in my quest for disability benefits, at least to the extent of allowing me to see the humor, and irony, that life always includes as part of our package of experiences on this planet.

“..  are the STEWED PRUNES still in the HAIR DRYER?” — Zippy the Pinhead

See, that’s the Snark….. which, given my history with prunes, is more apropos than you can imagine…. but, then, when you consider this….

“I just forgot my whole philosophy of life!!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

…. you will realize, as did I, that this, this is the Boojum, you see….

Now, I realize, at this point, you are having some questions as to my sanity, and may be wondering about when my next dose of medication is due….. but, allow me to assure you, I am quite lucid, and just playing with your head, and mine….

What I’m trying to say here, is that nonsense, and metaphor, have been instrumental in the maintenance of my sanity over the last three years, as I have been compelled by circumstance to watch the state and federal government bureaucracies grind their way to a decision on my disability application.

If it weren’t for Zippy’s wild, yet stabilizing influence on my moods, I’d say it was a distinct possibility that someone would be dead, and I’d be in jail…. or more likely, a mental institution, but this time without the advantage of carrying a key to the outside doors….

However, Zippy does exist, as does Pooh’s evil twin, and any number of other characters who can get me, and keep me, in touch with my bozoid side, where the world is always happy, or at least blissfully ignorant…. Making puns and bad jokes is, I would guess, more socially acceptable than leaving dead bodies strewn over the landscape, so it is a good thing, all in all, that I am in tune with that side of reality, and can use it to protect myself, to a degree, from the depredations of the rest of reality, with its massive indifference to human suffering….

I guess you could say that nonsense and whimsy provide me with the rose colored lenses my glasses need for me to be able to see the world in a form with which I can cope….. long enough for reality to catch up with my plans, and dreams…..

— Bother! said Pooh, as he hacked up a hairball.

🙂
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Well…. I’m speechless. All I can say is, it’s done, and I don’t know for sure how I feel about that….. I’ve gone back over it once, and still don’t get it… It all sort of hangs together okay…. I don’t know….. Oh, well, it will have to do, as it’s too late now to start over…. besides, no matter what else someone else might say or think, I like the poem, so…. you’ll just have to deal with the rest of it…. I did….   Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

8 thoughts on “Subtle signs of imminent success….

  1. “…Ayn Rand is NOT Anais Nin…”

    Oh dear —- what a goal you scored. (Notice that subtle allocation of blame)

    He made me do it
    He should drink tea instead of that black stuff
    He pleads diminished responsibility on my behalf
    He can be Barnum, and we”ll find someone else to be Bailey

    Why am I toppling over – Oh, that’s my nose reaching out…

    Some “serious and heavy stuff” — glad you spotted that and went into damage control mode.

    Cheers, Eric
    P/s I mentioned you in my blog post today 🙂

    • Oh, dear, indeed…. it was a brain fart of epic proportion, to be sure… thankfully, with my strong survival instinct, it will be forgotten by tomorrow… 🙂

      I actually saw your post before I read this comment, and commented on your site…. good poem…

      As for “serious & heavy”…. I had a long dialogue with another reader re: yesterday’s blog, on that very subject; it was an interesting conversation, and he gave me some very good thoughts to ponder, reminding me of some things that had been buried under years of hard thoughts and times…. any who, you might find it an interesting conversation… The point of all this is that I’m going to try to at least look for more positive notes…. and let the nose grow more often… The BRC won’t mind, I’m sure…

      Blessed Be, brother….

      • I just finished reading the exchange you had with that gentlman from London – Wolfie?

        Very inspirational and positive. I think I’ll pay his blog a visit after this.

        Thanks for pointing me to him.

          • Wow, so do I… I had not yet gotten to her “About” page, and made the same mistake… She must think we both are idiots… and she might be right…. Oh, well, indeed, my friend….

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