Parking parallel is de rigeur on Mondays….

Fiddle di dee, fiddle di die, the cow jumped not over, but, onto the moon, bending and breaking it beyond all recognition. The cat wasn’t playing a fiddle, but did have a boom box blasting…. according to the latest reports. Little dogs do more than just laugh at such sport, they usually pee on it. And dishes, well, they’re well known to prefer dark, sharp knives over spoons anyway….

“A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.” — Willie Wonka

Especially when it attacks first thing, before coffee, before reason…. It is smart, therefore, to just go with the flow, and let it out as needed, knowing full well the consequences of such actions. One must, however, consider the overall effect, and keeping it inside can cause much more damage than letting it out. As I am fully aware of all this, when it strikes me, I just let it right out, and use the time I didn’t spend agonizing over it to clean up whatever spillage there might be…. saves me time and energy this way, y’know?….

It also allows me to find a way back to reality from the fringes inhabited by all such nonsense; such foolishness cannot spend too much time close to the normal side of reality, lest it turn mundane, so one must go where it resides in order to pluck it up for use. I find it to be a quite relaxing time, those hours spent in pastimes reminiscent of circuses and carnivals, soaking in the happy laughter of fools, and the merry giggles of the clowns. Even the “nyuck, nyuck, nyuck” sounds coming from the Stooges corner bring no annoyance, as they blend right in with the blaring of the bicycle horns and big, red noses worn by so many in that neighborhood…..

Hmm… looks like I wandered a little further away from the mundane than I had realized; that last paragraph slipped over into nonsense again, instead of heading back toward sober reason. I do enjoy my time there, but, I tend to have trouble letting go of it; for a while upon returning, it is difficult to even consider religion or politics, without applying some Carlinesque twists, to soften its gravity.

Needless to say, it also makes it hard to rant about much of anything else, as everything is viewed through a prism of humor and silliness, and doesn’t appear half as bad as it actually is in real time. All in all, this is probably a good thing, as it keeps reality from hurting too much on a daily basis; it merely makes it hard on the political/religious reformer in me, to NOT be able to rant sufficiently….

I suppose that idea makes y’all burgeon with hope for this Pearl, but, that, too, is a foolish thing to do… As yet, this Pearl has no obvious shape or intent, so it’s next to impossible to say what will happen… The first pearl Smart Bee shows me will often set the tone for the whole day, so we’ll see how that goes… I do know that starting with nonsense always makes me happier… I may be a reformer, and a curmudgeon, but I really do enjoy life more when my bozoid side comes out early in the day…. Who knows? We might even end up with something amusing, or elevating, rather than something depressive and dark…. I suppose, though, we’ll never know if we don’t get on with it, so….. Shall we Pearl?…..

“I only wish I may see your head stroked down with a slipper.” — Terence (185-159 BC) — Act v, Sc. 7, 4, (1028.)

Now, see what you’ve done!…..

Okay, so I get it now…. The universe sometimes gives us directions we may not clue into fully…. I see, now, why reality chose to push me toward silliness and bozosity today (Bozosity is the state of being a bozo….). What we have, following this introductory blurb, is a group of aphorisms about religion…. I guess it made more sense to put it like this today, than it did to rant about it, as I normally do… Or, maybe reality is tired of my rants… either way, y’all win today, because this is just as pointed, just as accusatory, and, in its own quiet little way, as much of an indictment as are my most telling, and compelling rants on the subject…. Enjoy!  And be careful, the point it makes is quite sharp, and WILL cut you if you are negligent of care…..

Who sees with equal eye, as God of all,
A hero perish or a sparrow fall,
Atoms or systems into ruin hurl’d,
And now a bubble burst, and now a world.

— Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — Essay on Man, Epistle i, Line 87

“Religion is the opiate of the masses.” — Karl Marx

“You can’t depend on the man who made the mess to clean it up.” — Richard Milhouse Nixon (1952)

SCRIPTURES, n.  The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based. — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

— Bother! said Pooh, after he spoke the Lord’s name backward.

“If God is dead, who will save the Queen?” — Smart Bee

“True myth may serve for thousands of years as an inexhaustible source of intellectual speculation, religious joy, ethical inquiry, and artistic renewal.  The real mystery is not destroyed by reason.  The fake one is.  You look at it and it vanishes.  You look at the Blonde Hero–really look–and he turns into a gerbil.  But you look at Apollo, and he looks back at you.  The poet Rilke looked at a statue of Apollo about fifty years ago, and Apollo spoke to him.  ‘You must change your life,’ he said.  When the true myth rises into consciousness, that is always its message.  You must change your life.” — Ursula K. LeGuin

Whoa! Sorry, that last one slipped in there without telling me… but, it kind of fits, if you look at it with just the right squint to the eye…. I mean, if the first six quotes didn’t give you a clue about how religions are bad for you, the last one drives the point home, with the very last line….. I don’t know about y’all, but I LOVE THIS STUFF….. Oh, and just in case it wasn’t clear already….

“A mind not to be changed by place or time, the mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.” — John Milton

It’s probably a literary law of some kind, but, when one is given a hint like the one above, one MUST take that hint…. Far be it from me to ignore a slap to the side of the head like this one…. Here, then, is the poem to which Ms. Le Guin refers, above…

Archaic Torso of Apollo

We cannot know his legendary head
with eyes like ripening fruit. And yet his torso
is still suffused with brilliance from inside,
like a lamp, in which his gaze, now turned to low,

gleams in all its power. Otherwise
the curved breast could not dazzle you so, nor could
a smile run through the placid hips and thighs
to that dark center where procreation flared.

Otherwise this stone would seem defaced
beneath the translucent cascade of the shoulders
and would not glisten like a wild beast’s fur:

would not, from all the borders of itself,
burst like a star: for here there is no place
that does not see you. You must change your life.

~~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~~


“I don’t want to panic, but my alphabet soup says, “Forget about me … just try to save yourself.” — Tom Wilson (“Ziggy”)

Now you know just how I feel every morning! This is the real reason I gave up on Alpha-Bits cereal, in spite of what was published, and in spite of whatever you may have heard. I got tired of being warned every morning re: approaching Armageddon, and started eating more oatmeal, just so I didn’t have to face that every day. It’s disheartening to be reminded on a daily basis that your breakfast is significantly smarter than the majority of US citizens, at least when it comes to their government, which is completely controlled by corporate interests, as well as when it comes to society at large, about which one may confidently say the same.

We won’t even bother to mention the religious hierarchies’ connections to temporal authority, or to the shadow masters; we took our shots at them above, and wish to be fair, if not merciful. We’ll just say this on that: if you think the churches and preachers are NOT in the pockets of the corporations, well, I suggest you try to obtain for yourself a new mind, because the one you have isn’t working very well….

I mean, think about it… Who are the favorite members of any congregation, no matter what the denomination (clue: it has to do with the word “denomination”….)? Why, the men, and a few women, who contribute the most to the church roof fund, right? The ones who put the most gelt in the collection plate are the ones the church leaders pander, er, cater to, not the ones who reach out with empty hands….

“If this isn’t war, why is CNN massing on the border?” — Smart Bee

Let us also NOT get into the culpability the media holds for its part in the farce that comprises the play put on the world’s stage by society. We could point out the numerous, obvious perpetrations of cluelessness, or lament the lack of courage in modern journalists, either of which is common in the media.

How else can one explain how sheer lies are repeated endlessly, without challenge? How can one explain why certain questions aren’t asked, or certain articles suppressed, at the request, or the legal insistence of governmental authority? It isn’t explainable, unless one remembers that the media relies on government to supply the reason for its existence, and one is reluctant to bite the hand that feeds, eh what?….. Sycophancy is not limited to dweebs, and/or acolytes…

Instead, let us indict the true culprits for today’s worldly mess…. ourselves.  Pogo, by Walt Kelly, said it long ago…. “We have met the enemy, and he is us…..”  We are responsible for all that is wrong with the world, because we, the great unwashed masses, allow the governments and churches, and their puppet masters, the corporations, to determine how the world will be run…. We accept all their lies, and go on with living our lives as slaves, subject to the whims and twists of fate, because we refuse to take the reins of our own lives into our hands, and assume control….

The shadowy rich assholes who are the real power behind all the governments of the world are not going to stop their self-centered, selfish hoarding of the world’s resources, nor will they ever make a decision based on the welfare of society as a whole. They will always make their decisions in relation to what is most beneficial for themselves, and what will allow them to maintain their stranglehold on the rest of the world….

That is their primary concern, and they have guarded that concern for well over three thousand years, without ever letting the rest of humanity realize to any great degree just how much they control…. No other theory holds any water, nor fits the given facts of history, as well as this, and I regard it as gospel truth…. According to the available evidence, this is not a theory, so much as it is a fait accompli….

“In the game of life you get to choose where you keep your brain – heads you win, tails you lose.” — Smart Bee

I guess I had a rant in there after all…. We are all screwed, ffolkes, just as often and as hard as THEY want; moreover, unless we decide, as a group, to do something about it, it isn’t going to change until we are all dead and gone, leaving this planet, and the universe, to go on without our promise, or our participation…. I hate to be a downer, but, I don’t see how we can fix it, without some serious upheaval, for which I am not particularly hopeful, given the general level of “stupid” in much of humanity…. Oh well, as Epictetus said, “Happiness and freedom depend on the realization of one principle. Some things are within your control. And, some things are not.”  So be it….

“UH-OH!!  I think KEN is OVER-DUE on his R.V. PAYMENTS and HE’S having a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN too!!  Ha ha.” — Zippy the Pinhead

I am afraid I have to report that most, if not all, of the above was written while in an altered state of consciousness…. which should make for some interesting reading, you betcha…. Let’s just see….. Well, since it would be overly egotistical to call it brilliant, I’ll merely say, well done, and let it go at that…. For a morning so devoid of original direction, it seems to have found its way into the light fairy well, which bodes well for the rest of the day…. That is, if I were the type to be susceptible to precognitive signs….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.




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