Shall we Pearl?

“Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly.  Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate, or despise, serves to defeat us in the end.  What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind.  Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.” — Henry Miller

From 2/23/2013:

“I represent a sardine!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

At this point, after reading that line, you might just be wondering if I’ve slipped my leash again…. and, you’d be justified in that thought. However, rest assured, I’m perfectly sane, if somewhat metaphorically, so it’s all good, right? Right…..

Now, such a bald statement from our old pal is liable to make one think at first that he is either kidding (not bloody likely….), or he is currently having hallucinatory delusions of being a seafood lawyer, or fish solicitor, as my British friends would say. While both of those are possible scenarios, similar in nature to Zippy’s previous episodes of verbal gymnastics, neither is correct in this instance, as I happen to know that he is teaching a lesson in metaphorical manipulation, or, as it is commonly known, lying his ass off, to keep you preoccupied while he is doing something else he doesn’t want you to see, or know about…. He’s tricky that way….

I suppose he might be trying to tell us he is a theatrical/literary agent of some sort, and has a sardine who a) has written the next best seller, entitled “The Truth About Tuna”,  an exposé of the fishing industry, b) has a voice like Pavarotti, c) juggles three seahorses while riding a motorized wheelchair, or d) paints incredibly lifelike pictures of cruise ships, from an underwater view…. He might, if that is what he meant, but, it isn’t…. It is all just a distraction, a hullabaloo to draw your attention away from his real purpose, which has to do with several cases of motor oil, a rag-time band, two Senators, and a motel out on Route 666….. You really don’t want to know, now, do you?

No, really, ffolkes, I had a reason to show Zippy’s little gem off today, and it was really a good one…. So, it’s really too bad that, by the time I finished with the second paragraph above, I completely lost track of whatever it was I had to say about it….. That, of course, is embarrassing, but not as much as having to turn tail, right in the middle of a pearl, or what SHOULD have been a pearl, and go old school, just to save my ass from complete well, asininity (what else?….)….

So, here is what Smart Bee came up with, and taken together, the pearls all DO have a point…. just don’t ask me what it is, because even if I knew, I don’t think I can be trusted today to say it correctly, or even interpret it accurately…. So, you’re kind of on your own…. Don’t worry, they’re all safe, just pointed a little….Enjoy!….

“Look under enough rocks and you’ll find _something_ slimy” — Smart Bee

“And gentle Dulness ever loves a joke.” — Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — The Dunciad, Book ii, Line 34

“Don’t edit reality for the sake of simplicity.” — Smart Bee

“No people do so much harm as those who go about doing good.” — Mandell Creighton (1843-1901)

“A thief believes everybody steals.” — E.W. Howe

“I have a feeling that at any time about three million Americans can be had for any militant reaction against law, decency, the Constitution, the Supreme Court, compassion and the rule of reason.” — John Kenneth Galbraith

“My way of joking is to tell the truth. It’s the funniest joke in the world.” — George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

Well, there you have it, such as it is…. Ta then, luvs…..

“The mind has exactly the same power as the hands: not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.” — Colin Wilson

“Belief gets in the way of learning.” — Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

“Belief in the supernatural reflects a failure of the imagination.” — Edward Abbey

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.” — Mark Twain (1835-1910)

“Common sense is not so common.” — Voltaire

“The stupid are deaf to the truth; they hear, but  think that the wisdom applies to someone else.” — Heraclitus (540?-480? B.C.)

“In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain.” — Pliny the Elder

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Okay, that’s enough; I’ll cease the torture, of both of us…. It’s done, and that’s the best I can say today…. See y’all tomorrow, ffolkes; after this one, it’s good to know I get another chance….