“Who well lives, long lives; for this age of ours
Should not be numbered by years, daies, and hours.”
~~ Du Bartas (1544-1590) ~~
~~ Divine Weekes and Workes, Second Week, Fourth Day, Book ii ~~
Gorse overlooking Glasgow/Greenock Bay, Scotland
Hajime…. Full of jitters, but, game, he sits to write once more, bereft of all peace, mired in darkness and pain. Little does it matter, yet, the demons gnawing at his vital organs allow no rest, no break from the anxiety, diffuse and intangible. The hours of the night just passed, sleeping, only to awaken confused, and afraid, to escape the amorphous dreams, veiled by the dense fog of fear, unnamed, join hands with the day, promising endless, pointless forays into anger, or pain. Thus begins another day, insane….
Good morrow, ffolkes…. I feel better now, having purged, to a small degree, some of the crap I’m fighting to get the hell out of my head. The PTSD which continues to occasionally grace my life with its unwelcome presence, is rather insidious at times, slowly building, without giving advance notice, until it strikes, with full force, usually by filling me with a strong, diffuse anxiety, which, though I know it to be false, is nonetheless disconcerting to experience….
This is generally followed by a period of flashbacks, to some of the more violent incidents in which I was involved over an 11+ year period in my twenties and thirties, culminating in a full-blown rage, the result of the final memory to be brought up, wherein I stepped over the body of a friend to control the asshole who killed him. The rage is from knowing I acted professionally, and did not give in to the desire to throttle the man myself, more’s the pity. If I had, I might be in jail, but, I wouldn’t feel so bad about it…. maybe.
I’m relating all this because it might help to explain my recent absences, and, give y’all notice there may be more to come; I seem to be winning the battle to regain my balance, but, it’s taking longer than usual…. While this is going on, the Pearls tend to suffer; thankfully, I’ve done so many of them, there’s plenty of stuff to recycle, most of which is decent enough to fly by my standards…. But, it also means I don’t get out & interact as much as I prefer, or, as much as I think is deserved. So, please bear with me; it won’t be long, and I’ll be as full of blarney and chutzpah as ever, and things will get back to, well, not normal, cuz we don’t go there, but, more predictable, anyway….
All that said, to our usual little purpose, other than sheer honesty, we’ll get on with the rest of today’s mess, without further blather. In fact, I’ve got a new trick. Watch this…..
Shall we Pearl?….
“The trail is the thing, not the end of the trail.
Travel too fast and you miss all you are traveling for.”
~~ Louis L’Amour, Ride the Dark Trail ~~
Image from http://www.rhapsody.com via Google Images
Today, I feel like listening to a great voice, to provide a beacon for me to follow, back to sanity….. This woman’s voice has always had the quality of a siren’s call, for me, so, it will do nicely….. It’s sad she can no longer sing, due to Parkinson’s Disease; fortunately, she has a large body of work as a legacy….. Enjoy, ffolkes; Linda is/was an iconic figure in my youth, and remains a favorite….
Linda Ronstadt Live
“Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.”
~~ The Beatles ~~
Although the lads from Liverpool provided me with a perfect opening for a rant, I just don’t have it in me today. While searching for an appropriate filler, I came across the following, which is the intro section from a Pearl I posted in early 2014. I copied it, then shut the program, before remembering to find out exactly which day it came from, but, it’s pretty general, anyway, so, it really doesn’t matter. Here then is the intro of which I speak, which is more of a rant, anyway….. I’ve followed it with one excellent pearl which seems to fit, right after Zippy’s comment…. Enjoy!
From the archives in 2014:
Finding just the right words for an opening statement, after repeated attempts to do just that, for what is now getting close to 3 years, can frequently become, not merely a conundrum, but a chronic pain in the ass, at least until Reality steps in to lend a hand…. which it did today….
Just as I sat down to begin, I noted a light playing on the wall of the house across the street, a spot-light moving along, until it found and highlighted a tall, hooded figure skulking on the porch…. The light, which was coming from a police squad car at the corner, pinned the hooded figure, and apparently issued instructions I couldn’t hear, as the figure froze, put up its hands, and walked slowly out to the street, where two police officers met him, frisked, him, handcuffed him, and took him away in their car….
The entire scenario took about one and a half minutes to take place, start to finish, though, afterward, they sat in the car for quite a while, probably running the Unsub for priors, and starting the paperwork for whatever charges they were arresting him, obviously to include trespassing…. It wasn’t overly dramatic, or a particularly gripping scene, but, it isn’t every morning I get to witness crime being fought, and defeated, right here on my street…. It almost makes me feel safe….. Well, that would probably be stretching the truth farther than is good for it, so, I’ll take it back, and just say it was interesting to watch….
At least it didn’t turn into another Rodney King episode…. I’m not sure I can figure out yet how to work the video capture on my new smart phone, so, that’s probably a good thing, as I didn’t have the expertise to be able to film it, whereupon it would have become another in a long series of acts of egregious violence from police upon relatively undeserving victims that DIDN’T slide through the public’s awareness…. Oh yes, it happens…. In fact, NOT hearing about bad things happens, I would wager, far many more times than ever get reported, or captured on film, or digitally, on somebody’s phone, in the modern world….. It has always been so, it’s just not something people like to talk about, or admit…
That, by the way, is something I’ve never understood…. the reluctance of many people to report unethical actions by public servants like police, or firemen…. It’s as if people accept the sense of entitlement that often goes with such service, and automatically, and unquestioningly, give the privileges and perks that so many officers take as their due, without any real justification, other than their own power of authority…. which, in my mind, should produce the exact opposite effect…. It should make the person who holds any such position humble, and grateful, not make them feel powerful, and special, and deserving of all honor, merely for holding a certain kind of job….
However, if I start going into all that, I’ll get all worked up, as I already am, and begin to rant….. Since we’re just getting to the end of the intro, it wouldn’t be appropriate to start one now, so I’ll let that go, for discussion at another time…. or not, who cares? There’s always a new example to pick from, with the police…. The institution, as it exists now in our society, attracts the very worst sort of asshole to its ranks, men, and women, who are only there because it gives them the wherewithal, and the excuse, to be bullies, to assert their authority over others at every opportunity…. THAT type of personality is drawn irresistibly to police work, as it offers them the perfect outlet for their aggressive natures….
Ah well, I guess it’s only natural, but, that doesn’t make it right, or acceptable, in my book…. It does, however, make it enough material written to form the nucleus of an intro, which, after all, is what we were up to….. In fact, I’m going to go ahead, and just drop you here, so I can get on with stuff…. I think you can find the next section without my help…. I’m gonna go dive…..
Shall we Pearl?…..
“I share the belief of many of my contemporaries that the spiritual crisis pervading all spheres of Western industrial society can be remedied only by a change in our world view. We shall have to shift from the materialistic, dualistic belief that people and their environment are separate, toward a new consciousness of an all-encompassing reality, which embraces the experiencing ego, a reality in which people feel their oneness with animate nature and all of creation.” — Dr. Albert Hoffman
(I am forced to comment on this: While I am in complete agreement with the good Doctor on this matter, I fail to see how his uplifting, accurate, totally cool expression of what is needed for us to survive will convince a single person to take it up as truth, or how it will get people to make the necessary changes in human nature…. Telling people that they need to “feel their oneness with animate nature and all of creation.” is going to lose everyone who hears it…. In fact, it is such an off-putting, airhead kind of statement, I’d wager that, in spite of the fact that this is absolute truth, and will help people to save themselves from a certain death, nobody is going to hear it, because they automatically turned off their ears as soon as they heard the words “spiritual crisis”, followed by “spheres of Western industrial society”, and “world view”…. That kind of New Age babble-speak will shut off most folk’s heads in a New York minute….. Too bad, ‘cuz its’ totally true….)
“FUN is never having to say you’re SUSHI!!” — Zippy the Pinhead
” When they turn the pages of history
When these days have passed long ago,
Will they read of us with sadness
For the seeds that we let grow?”
~~ Rush, A Farewell to Kings ~~
I know I’m in the now, if only…..
Oh, there it is again, fiddle faddle;
Begone, I said, vamoose, skedaddle!
It looked at me as if I were insane:
Scoffed, it did, filled me with pain.
Where does it come from?
Where does it live?
I’d stick out my thumb,
if I had more to give.
If only, should, would, could it be?
It went away again, this time free.
It will be back again, this I know;
or I’m wrong, and it won’t show.
Such goings on wobble the sphere,
I wish it wouldn’t do that here.
I’ve been wrong before…..
~~ gigoid ~~
“I love to doubt as well as know.”
~~ Dante ~~
“Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.”
~~ Aldous Huxley ~~
“Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.”
~~ H. H. Williams ~~
“Ignorance is not bliss — it’s oblivion.”
~~ Phillip Wylie ~~
” I can believe anything, provided it is incredible.”
~~ Oscar Wilde ~~
“Only the half-mad are wholly alive.”
~~ Edward Abbey ~~
“It isn’t easy being green.”
~~ Kermit ~~
I did it, though I really can’t say exactly how it got done. That’s fine with me, as I’ve learned to trust the process, even with the recent change in my routine, when the upgrade to my email browser forced me to remove one complete step of the process, moving it to another time slot. Since to say more on that would only devolved into geek-speak, we’ll let it go, in favor of a hearty, if somewhat insane farewell. I’ll be back, tomorrow, ffolkes, should I find the proper coordinates for the island of sanity….. or, not. Ta, then….
Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest Carole, Mark,Theresa, & Richy
and everyone else, too…
When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.
Which is Why….
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
I just sits.
gigoid, the dubious
The *only* duly authorized Computer Curmudgeon.
PLEASE STOP READING THIS MESSAGE NOW.
“SCRAM!!!!!!!!!!”- Oscar the Grouch
À bientôt, mon cherí….
You poor man! How I hate to see you suffer.
Thank you, milady; it passes in time, and, given my tendency toward believing in karma, there’s not much I can say in complaint. Besides, I know many who are in worse shape than I, so, it’s good to keep balance…. But, I appreciate your compassion, and beg you not to worry; I’m tough as an old boot, and, eventually, I’ll be okay…
Tough as old boots?
That’s my domain….
I have found something for you…just for yoooouuuuu…
“Scientists talk about dark matter, the invisible, mysterious substance that occupies the space between stars. Dark matter makes up 99.99 percent of the universe, and they don’t know what it is. Well I do. It’s apathy. That’s the truth of it; pile together everything we know and care about in the universe and it will still be nothing more than a tiny speck in the middle of a vast black ocean of Who Gives a Fuck.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End
LOL! And, a *big grin*
Yeah, very good….and, most certainly puts to rest any ideas we may have about being a ‘special case’ in this Universe, eh, what?
You’re sweet. Give Leelu a meow for me.
Agree with Thumbup, Ned.
Pain is awful company, to be sure… Reminds me; many years ago my father underwent back surgery. He was then positioned on a cross; yes it was a wooden cross! They turned him every 4 hours, like on a spit. For 3 months he ‘cooked’ in hospital until they thought he’d been cooked enough.
Linda Ronstadt: Sure was saddened to hear about her illness. And yes, I agree, Ned; she has a wonderful body of work as a legacy. This ‘being human’ can be really tough at times!
Thank you, Carolyn; I’m glad you enjoyed today’s mess. It sounds like your dad had it much worse than I do…. Aye, being human can be a challenge; it might help if we got the owner’s manual we were supposed to be issued at birth…. *wink*
Love Linda Rondstadt’s singing…if I may, this is my favourite song of hers:
Sure, the more the merrier….
Glad you enjoyed today’s mess…