Some days making the effort to get up out of bed seems less attractive than others, to be sure. Especially when one’s first arising from bedside is accompanied by a great deal of pain, such as today. The effort it takes to get standing all the way up is, to say the least, excessive. Walking is problematic, as every motion seems to aggravate the lower back, where my spine enters the girdle of the hips. Every muscle in my lower back is tight, like a piece of wood, while the mid- and upper-back muscles are poised in anticipation of spasms (those that aren’t already seized up, like those under the scapula…..). Such a joy….
Of course, this is not a particularly new event; it’s like this probably 3 or 4 days out of 7. Most days I awaken with pain level around 3 or 4, and try to keep it from exceeding 5 during the day’s activities. Days such as today, however, when I begin at level 6 or 7 upon arising, make it hard not to just take a pill and go back to bed…. thus avoiding the greater levels of pain I know will come, as the already painful muscles tire and stiffen further…. it’s a grand life, to be sure, but it’s mine, and it’s all I have, so I’ll just have to deal with it, now, won’t I? Yes, I will….
And as such is the case, I refuse to give in to it. I won’t go back down, I will stay up until I cannot take it any more, and try to do whatever I can to stretch the muscles enough to ease some of the stiffness that I live with. Some day, when I finally am awarded the money that SS owes me (money I myself put into the system for just this purpose, that they are so far unwilling to share….) one of the first things I’ll do is get myself a massage. One can only understand the reduction of muscle tension as true freedom if one has experienced this kind of unrelenting pain, pain that never stops, and never allows one’s muscle’s to relax enough to feel normal. When it is released at last, the sense of release and relief is more than I can express; it is nothing less than true bliss…..
Ah, but such moments are for the future…. today, it is pain, stiffness, and more pain for me, until I can either get a balance of medication in me to put up a barrier between the pain and my conscious mind, or I can get my lower back to loosen up a bit, and give me a breathing space…. in the meantime, we’ll go for a dive, and search out something else to focus on… it can only help…. so, let’s Pearl, shall we?….
I’m sorry…. I can’t do it today…. I’m trying to behave normally, just as if I wasn’t in severe pain, and it’s just not working today…. so I’m going to cheat… for today’s Pearl, I will post below a number of pearls, and a couple of pictures that inspire me in some way, whether for their extreme cuteness, or for their beauty…. that’s about all I can manage this morning, then I’m going to try to deal with the pain, somehow… though what I’ll do is not known at this point…. anything is better than this….. so, here are some pearls and pictures for your consideration
“It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.” — H.L. Mencken
“And it does matter. An honest man or woman is an honest man or woman more because he or she is honest in the small, everyday things that “don’t matter” individually, but which make up a well-lived life, than because of some single great temptation that was passed. A person who is concerned about individual rights or about individual dignity makes his or her difference not because of any sweeping great statement or action, but because of the accretion of small, individually seemingly insignificant acts that spread that dignity and confirm those rights through every action they take. It matters because every action you take, and every action I take is an expression of the human spirit.” — William Oliver (email@example.com) I can just hear the calliope music in the background when I see this; they are in complete tune with each other, for sure….I got this picture off the news site, SFGATE, many moons ago… the attribution is in the lower right corner, if you enlarge it enough….
“Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. (The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.)” — Mark Twain
What’s the most popular order at the Zen hotdog stand? Make me One With Everything! — Smart Bee
“He didn’t say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.” — Richard Darman, director of OMB, — explaining why President Bush wasn’t following up on his campaign pledge that there would be no loss of wetlands.
___________________________________This photo was found at Photobotos.com, and the photographer’s name can be found there…. I think it’s just too cool for words…..
“Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others.” — Oscar Wilde
“I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free.” — Nikos Kazantzakis (Zorba the Greek)
I wish I had found this earlier….it’s a good one to describe this morning’s progress…..
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all doing direct the other way–in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.” — A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens, 1859
Finally….. the origin of the phrase, “picture perfect” from Carol Welsh’s blog: http://carolwelsh.wordpress.com/, where you can find many such photos as this one….___________________________________
That’s all I’ve got today ffolkes…. sorry ’bout that, but I can barely keep myself from throwing the extra monitor through the window. I’d do it for the tension release, but it would no doubt make my back hurt worse than it already does. Tomorrow I’ll write a real Pearl, as I’m sure by then I’ll have plenty of mental energy built up to get it done. Today is pretty much a foregone conclusion, so I’d best be getting to it… Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
I just sits.