Any soft-pedaling should look natural….

Ffolkes,

“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.”

~~ Seneca ~~

July 20 2014 007

    I can thoroughly identify with Seneca today; his statement on life gives a perfect voice to how I feel….  For about ten days now, I’ve been experiencing a new physical phenomenon, during which much of my skeleton sings to me, while my left hip, shoulder, and my hands all provide a counterpoint of shrill, soprano high notes to augment the song being sung, with sharp high notes, shooting into my brain with knife-like intensity, just for fun….

This takes place for a good portion of the day, interspersed with minor periods of relatively pain-free time, during which I try to act normally, just as if I didn’t think it would start again in a few minutes…. Otherwise, I’d have never gotten anything done, at all….

It’s not only becoming tiresome, it’s gone beyond old, into ancient news, that I’d just as soon turned to dust, along with me, and everything else, because I just don’t give a SHIT about any of it…. In fact, I’m seriously considering withdrawing from the human race completely, & becoming a reclusive curmudgeon, even more so than I already am, to the point of claiming hermit status…. I swear, I’m not far from just buying weapons, and putting up signs that trespassers will be shot…

Add into the daily picture that there are other people to deal with, and I’m convinced…. It’s time. I am sick and fucking tired of having to deal with other people, at all…. I’m at a point where even friends are included in those who are annoying me; I am almost ready to start biting ffolkes, which I can truthfully say is the first time in my life to have experienced this kind of angst, so great even those I care about are excluded…. and I don’t feel an ounce of guilt about it, either…. Even the compassionate concern people can show would be unwelcome just now; I’m just not in the mood to be nice to anyone….

In fact, at the moment, ‘nice’ sounds really stupid, and not at all the kind of thing I want associated with my name…. Some of what is transpiring in my life just now is a result of my being ‘nice’, and I can tell you, for sure, that old saw about ‘no good deed goes unpunished’ is spot-on the money….. I’ve acted out of compassion, producing results which are all-too-predictable, as well as uncomfortable; in addition, such produces critical judgments from others, which, while true to varying degrees of context, nonetheless do naught to help me feel better about any of it…. I just can’t help operating from the basis of compassion; call me a fool, but, it’s just the way I’m made…. I  guess I took the sage seriously, when he said,

“Our purpose in this life is to help each other, and if you can’t help them, at least don’t cause them any harm.” — Buddha

Now, of course, it’s all muddled, and unclear…. So, I now must wait, until right action becomes clear, a process complicated by pain, and the difficulty it adds to thinking at all…. You see, all I want to do right now is crawl in a hole, and hide from it all…. Unfortunately, that would be even MORE uncomfortable than I am already…. not to mention what it would do to my hair…..

No, it wasn’t a typo; I just wanted to see if y’all were paying attention…. I wasn’t, so, it kind of caught ME unawares, as well…. Oh well, I can see it’s going to be one of those days…. I may as well get us out of here, and start trying to fill in the rest of this mess…. Oh, look, here’s an opening into the rest of the Pearl, right there ahead in the fog…. See it? It’s kind of a shiny one, isn’t it? Let’s catch it while we can, okay? Okay…. Hang on, ffolkes, I’m taking us in!….

Shall we Pearl?

“A man is not aware of his virtues (if any). Nevertheless, one hopes that they exist.” — Edward Abbey

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Music always works for me…. Here is a playlist compilation of the best movie themes played by an orchestra…. Enjoy!…


 

Great Orchestral Movie Themes

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“One always overcompensates for disabilities.  I’m thinking of having my entire body surgically removed.” — The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“There is no opinion so absurd that some philosopher will not express it.” — Cicero

I’ve decided to let my sense of the absurd take over the rest of today, so, this is all you get in the way of a rant…. These two pearls express almost perfectly how I feel; rather than complicate my life, and yours, they will have to do…. If nothing else, take with you the lesson implied….

So be it….

gigoid has spoken…. Well, sort of….

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A couple of months ago, I wrote a poem during another episode of pain much like this has been…. Since I’m being absurd, here ’tis again…

Tempered Flesh, with Blood

Tiresome, the darkness, sitting in the sun,
submissively balancing over the pit.
Quiet as old terror, each brick one by one
building crescendo, sans music, sans style, sans wit.

Shadows thrown offer speculative fiction,
earning respite from burgeoning miscellany.
Light’s presence offers potential benediction,
if not divine, perhaps, then, beautifully zany.

Hours pass in days, minutes in a week,
challenging Reality to argue, adding a subtle smirk.
One humbly submits in hope of grace, small respite to seek,
in spite of prescient insistence ’twill never work.

Wave upon wave crash against the bloodied shore,
wearing down all natural defense.
All light is extinguished, darkness evermore;
if preserving life and love, sin no more.

~~ gigoid ~~


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This pearl was constructed for the most part, yesterday, during a period of space from the agony that held sway most of the day. The final two entries, (though fifth and sixth in the list below) were picked out this morning, to fill in the necessary remaining thoughts leading to our point…. That point, naturally, has been left as an exercise for the Gentle Reader….

“It is in the shelter of each other that people live.” — Irish proverb

“Life is better than death, I believe, if only because it is less boring, and  because it has fresh peaches in it.” — Alice Walker

“I exist as I am, that is enough.” — Walt Whitman

“The chief good he has defined to be the exercise of virtue in a perfect life.” — Diogenes Laertius (c. 200 AD) — Aristotle, xiii

All cruelty” springs from weakness.” — Seneca

“No human thing is of serious importance.” — Plato

‘T is strange, but true; for truth is always strange,
— Stranger than fiction.

~~ Lord Byron (1788-1824) — Don Juan, Canto xiv, Stanza 101~~


Hmm… I hadn’t noticed before putting all of it together, but, this seems to be a paraphrase of Axiom #6 of Peruaosophy, to wit: “And God so loved the world, She said, “Quit whining!”…. Works for me….

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All in all, I think I’ve done well, if only because I made it this far….. Y’all can make your own judgments as to that; that’s your job, after all…. Me, I’m outta here…. See y’all tomorrow, ffolkes, if I haven’t retreated to some cave in the mountains….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
   and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid, the dubious

PLEASE STOP READING THIS MESSAGE NOW.

Kowabunga!


À bientôt, mon cherí….


		
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Perhaps not, but his spatula was meticulous….

Ffolkes,

Pain has an element of blank;
It cannot recollect
When it began, or if there were
A day when it was not.

It has no future but itself,
Its infinite realms contain
Its past, enlightened to perceive
New periods of pain.

~~ Emily Dickinson ~~


I’ve previously used this poem; it may be one of Emily’s most famous, so it’s probably familiar to many people…. I don’t know if Emily had pain herself, of a physical nature, beyond what everyone else feels, when they bark their shins, for example…. If she didn’t, her depth of insight was even greater than I had previously imagined….. This is an assertion I believe implicitly; Emily was, without doubt, the most advanced human EVER in that respect, in my opinion, and by all the evidence at hand…. Her poetry must be considered as proof of that, proof that leaves no room for doubt as to the accuracy of the claim..

This particular poem explores a couple different sides of the nature of the beast, again displaying that incredibly elegant, towering talent only she possessed, by cramming so much feeling, so much meaning, and so many ideas into eight short lines of verse, it almost explodes into one’s consciousness, growing there like a flower in spring…. She wrote at least one other poem on the subject, a bit different in scope, but nonetheless powerful for that…. It went like this….

There is a pain—so utter—
It swallows substance up—
Then covers the Abyss with Trance—
So Memory can step
Around—across—upon it—
As one within a Swoon—
Goes safely—where an open eye—
Would drop Him—Bone by Bone.

~~ Emily Dickinson ~~


As lovely and powerful as her poetry may be, I’ll bet you’re wondering why we’ve begun today with a discussion of American English poetry of the Nineteenth Century…. Some of y’all, who have been around ECR a while, will guess why I’m writing about it; they’re already aware of how much my pain can distract me from Life at Large…. and would guess that today’s words are in response to a bout with it of major proportions…. They’d be right to think that, too….

Yesterday, as part of a personal quest to get into better shape, if only for the purpose of being able to walk around in those places to which I travel, such as on shore excursions during a cruise, I went for a short walk… The day before, I had tried a new technique, of taking a pain pill, applying some of my magic ointment to my back and hips, then going for a walk…

I was rewarded by a relatively pain-free stroll all the way downtown, with a few sit-down breaks to blow, and let the numbness recede from my thighs; all told, I walked about two miles, and a bit more…. This is much further than I’ve been able to walk for a couple years now, so I was encouraged enough to try again the day after, i.e. yesterday…

This time, I applied my cream, took my pill, and enthusiastically left, to try to cover the same ground…. After a couple of blocks, I stepped off a curb, onto a small twig, which proceeded to roll about two inches, taking my foot, and my balance, with it…. Using my walking stick, a quick shuffle, and a hard, rapid twist, I was able to keep from falling down…. BUT….

The quick movement, with the accompanying twist, gave the injured ligament in my lower back a good, hard yank…. This, naturally, caused me to experience the customary sharp, intense burst of excruciating pain in my lower back, just as if a large knife had been thrust about two inches into the hip, followed instantly by the total freeze-up and pain of my entire back entering full spasming mode…. This also aggravates the hip joints, so I was barely able to keep upright, and mobile enough to walk…. Hell, it was ALL I could do not to start screaming and beating on the nearest object, animate or inanimate, with my stick….

Turning around, I made it back home without getting arrested for assault, took an extra pill, ate some magic chocolate, put on more ointment, and went straight to bed, where I’ve been for much of the last eighteen hours or so…. I’m up now, and still in full spasm mode, though quiet right now, thanks to about a ton of Norco and all the cannabis I could eat…. Since the pain has been my constant companion for most of the last day, I thought I’d try to share some of that, though I’m not sure why…. I guess I thought it would make a little different start to the day….

I guess it’s also because it’s really hard to deal with this unless, and until, the experience is purged, at least verbally, in order for me to process it in a timely fashion…. I’ll stop here, as y’all have no doubt had enough of my near-whiny neurotic need to share….

Sorry, but, getting the concepts, and the feel of the experience, outside the mind helps to deal with what is still there, which currently requires a good large piece of my consciousness to keep me from running down the street, screaming in pain, HOPING that someone will tell me to stop, so I can BITE THEM REALLY, REALLY HARD!!!!!!

Now that I have further indicated the depth of my insanity (Six exclamation points makes that fairly obvious…. A mere four of them has been shown by research to be proof of clinical psychosis….), I suppose it’s time to go for a dive, to find some pearls…. Hopefully, I can sit long enough, and keep at this long enough between breaks, to finish…. If not, well, we may just be here all day, so, if I were you, I’d check to make sure I had my box lunch, and a supply of water on hand….

Shall we Pearl?…..

“Despair leads to boredom, electronic games, computer hacking, poetry, and other bad habits.” — Edward Abbey

Such as blogging….
_____________________________

As might be guessed on a day such as this, I won’t be ranting, any more than I already have…. I’m going to go for old-school pearls for both prose sections today, to avoid going back to the archives again…. I COULD go back there, but, even the research involved in that seems like more work than I’ll be able to do…. So, I’m going for a dive, where being surrounded and supported by the waters of reason, I can maneuver almost normally…. You’ll see what I find…. Oh, yeah…. no parameters at all today, just random weird nudges toward virtue and/or dignity (if such is possible during the creation of a Pearl….)…..

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.

— Theodore Roethke

“And what is a good citizen?  Simply one who never says, does or thinks anything that is unusual.  Schools are maintained in order to bring this uniformity up to the highest possible point.  A school is a hopper into which children are heaved while they are still young and tender; therein they are pressed into certain standard shapes and covered from head to heels with official rubber-stamps.” — H.L. Mencken

“Everything, saith Epictetus, hath two handles,–the one to be held by, the other not.” — Robert Burton (1577-1640) — The Anatomy of Melancholy, Part ii, Sect. 2, Memb. 3

“Be not diverted from your duty by any idle reflections the silly world may make upon you, for their censures are not in your power, and consequently should not be any part of your concern.” — Epictetus

“Psychedelic drugs cause paranoia, confusion, and total loss of reality in politicians that have never taken them.” — Timothy Leary

“Addison, what are we going to do?”  “Me, I’m examining the major Western religions. I’m looking for something that’s soft on morality, generous with holidays, and has a short initiation period.” — Dave and Maddie on Moonlighting

“There were two brothers called Both and Either; perceiving Either was a good, understanding, busy fellow, and Both a silly fellow and good for little, Philip said, “Either is both, and Both is neither.” — Plutarch (46-120 AD) — Philip

And there you have it…. Madness incarnate, right there on your screen….. Well, it WOULD be, if it weren’t all so damn true….
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After a relatively short break of twenty minutes, spent in a frantic search for my glasses, (which, it turns out, were stolen and hidden by Jo Jo, the Psycho-Cat From Hell…. I found them in one of her cat caves, where she had stashed them after taking them off my desk….), I’m back… I’ve already used Emily today, so we’ll go with another classic favorite of mine, one of the most influential Romantic poets from the eighteenth century…. There are those who say he was THE driving force for the entire Romantic poetry genre that burgeoned during his lifetime, an assessment with which I have to agree…

The Human Seasons

Four Seasons fill the measure of the year;
There are four seasons in the mind of man:
He has his lusty Spring, when fancy clear
Takes in all beauty with an easy span:
He has his Summer, when luxuriously
Spring’s honied cud of youthful thought he loves
To ruminate, and by such dreaming high
Is nearest unto heaven: quiet coves
His soul has in its Autumn, when his wings
He furleth close; contented so to look
On mists in idleness–to let fair things
Pass by unheeded as a threshold brook.
He has his Winter too of pale misfeature,
Or else he would forego his mortal nature.

~~ John Keats ~~

_____________________________

I can see the light at the end of this tunnel I’ve entered; I’m pretty sure I can make it that far….. Again, an old-school, unguided (and, please, no comments about misguided….)** pearl, ripped fresh from the oyster beds of my mind….. and Smart Bee’s nearly endless database of excellent cookies….

** (Without, of course, a reasoned justifying argument to explain the assertion….)


“Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.” — Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121-180 AD) — Meditations, iv, 43

“Truth, in the matters of religion, is simply the opinion that has survived.” — Oscar Wilde

“Liberty don’t work as good in practice as it does in speeches.” — Will Rogers

“Government lies, and newspapers lie, but in a democracy they are different lies.” — Smart Bee

“- if it GLISTENS, gobble it!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

“If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.” — Albert Einstein

Because I could not stop for Death —
He kindly stopped for me —
The carriage held but just ourselves
And immortality.

~~ Emily Dickinson ~~
_____________________________

Well, I made it, and about time, too…. I’ve again consumed a massive amount of drugs, all with the purpose of smothering my nervous system to the point of insensibility….. After a seemingly endless amount of time spent in agony, trying to keep occupied in my mind, I am now starting to enjoy the results, and will soon be free (True freedom is the release from pain….) Since it won’t be long before all coherence flees screaming into the night (well, early morning, anyway…. it’s still dark here at 0530, now that we’ve begun daylight savings for the year….), I’ll bring this to a grateful close (the gratitude is on YOUR end, I’m sure….)

I can’t do this anymore…. See you tomorrow…. Hopefully, by then, I’ll be feeling more like a human being than a pharmaceutical test subject…..

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid the dubious

dozer3

Bloody, but unbowed, he staggers on….

Ffolkes,

There are some mornings here on ECR when I’m no longer sure of what I’m doing, or exactly why. I’ve been doing these Pearls so long now at this time of the day, the routine of it will often pull me through any reluctance or fatigue that may manifest… We’ve discussed previously the power of routine in our lives, but, I don’t believe I explored how often routine is ALL we have to maintain the appearance of normalcy…. Our inner world can become so preoccupied with issues with which it is struggling, that the outer world, and all of ITS problems and issues become of distant, secondary concern to us, in terms of our priorities….

For example, today, I awoke with both a great deal of pain, and the full gamut of PTSD symptomatology, in full swing…. I’ve related how I am currently having to switch from one pain medication, upon which I’ve depended for my most complete pain relief for the last 8 years, to using strictly medical marijuana to treat my chronic, severe back and hip pain…. 

For some time now, I’ve used the marijuana products to augment the prescribed pain killer, as it is the most effective way to treat both the pain, and my PTSD symptoms, (consisting primarily of emotional lability, including ongoing anxiety, panic attacks, and insomnia), all without causing any side effects, no risk of overdose, and no known negative interactions with other substances. However, since the federal government’s laws concerning that substance are antediluvian in nature, the doctors turn into myrmidons, and insist on following “policy” rather than honoring their Hippocratic oath to treat the patient, not the society….

This morning, my physical and mental states decided to rebel against the changes that are being forced upon me, as I try to wean myself off the addictive drug they’ve been giving me for 8 years, thereby insuring that I will suffer the lovely group of symptoms of withdrawal from a narcotic, including some rather vicious dyskinesia that is affecting me today….

That is the condition where your muscles are vibrating, you can’t sit still, and the entire body feels as if an electric current is running through the musculature, causing each muscle to spasm in turn…. Oh, it’s a lovely condition, and I’m just glad there are certain of the mj products that help soothe the symptoms when they occur….

Okay, so, how’s the Pity Party going? Anybody else want to chime in?…. we’ve got a lot of whine, to go with any cheesy complaints YOU might have, if you wish to join in the fun….. No? Okay…. It’s probably best if I discontinue any further pairings of whine and cheese, and get on with what I’m ostensibly here to do…. which isn’t complain about my conditions, which is something everybody out there has to deal with, one way or another…. I’m not alone, in that my medical issues aren’t any worse or better than anyone else’s….

But, they’re MINE, and they do take up more of my attention than I like…. I’ve never been “sickly” or even particularly weak in any way…. just the opposite. Which is why I really, really HATE not being able to do just about anything I’d like to be able to do anymore, and end up complaining about it…. I can’t say you’ll never hear about this again, but, I’m done for today…. Let’s get on with our regular business, okay? Okay….

Shall we Pearl?…..

“There is an ancient saying, famous among men, that thou shouldst not judge fully of a man’s life before he dieth, whether it should be called blest or wretched.” — Sophocles (496-406 BC) — Trachiniae, 1
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I have to say, (one last bitch), this process isn’t as much fun when I’m having PTSD issues…. The mental effort to remain in disguise, as a normal, intelligent human being, is huge, and when one throws in the pain, it’s enough to have me in tears every few minutes, as I try and try to throw off the unwelcome, and unnecessary feelings of sorrow, from whatever source they’re bubbling up to torment me…. You see, I don’t even know WHY I’m sitting here with tears flowing freely down my face as I type…. I have no big issues of import at hand, at least, not any emotional ones, that I can think of, that would cause any such degree of angst, so, it HAS to be rooted in the past, somehow…. Nothing else makes any sense….

So, anybody have any suggestions, as to how I can get rid of all this shit that keeps coming up to haunt me, when I haven’t a single clue as to what the hell it’s all about?

No?

Well, I don’t blame you for not wanting to get involved…. mental health issues come under the heading of NIMBY for most folks, and, even for some ffolkes, who know a bit more about the issues involved, and are less judgmental…. It’s okay, though, because I have a sure fire way, at least of a temporary nature, that will do just fine to throw these feelings back behind the screen of denial where they generally reside; it’s called a random harlequin old-school pearl, a creative process that never fails to cheer me up…. So, I hope you enjoy the following group of pearls, because they’re definitely going to save my ass this morning….

“It is odd, is it not, that a person’s worth to society by is measured by their wealth, when instead their wealth should be measured by their worth to society.” — A. Cygni

“Belief in God? An afterlife? I believe in rock: this apodictic rock beneath my feet.” — Edward Abbey

— ‘Shit Happens’ according to…  Waitress: “You want fries with that shit?”

“Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the  concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.” — P. J. O’Rourke

“He hoped and prayed that there wasn’t an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn’t an afterlife.” — Douglas Adams

“Whoever invented the eraser had the human race pretty well sized up.” — Smart Bee

“Euripides was wont to say, ‘Silence is an answer to a wise man.'” — Plutarch (46-120 AD) — Of Bashfulness

Those of y’all who have seen a number of pearls in your time reading this blog will recognize this one as damn near perfect….. If you don’t get why, not to worry…. It’s all good advice, or good concepts upon which to spend time considering, and, thus, is worth reading…. If the point it makes isn’t clear, don’t push it, it will come to you in time…. If you are like me, it may wake you up late at night, out of your sleep, to say a loud “AHA!”….. And if not, well, you didn’t waste much time, and it DID improve your mind, know it or not….
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I really wish…. Well, why not? Let’s see what happens….

Blithely Untitled

A poem came to me today, willy, nilly,
along with a sharp blow to the head.
Since it left me feeling just a bit silly,
anything that rhymes should lessen the dread.

Manifesting destiny into a small, insidious group
we push on toward sanity, concentrating hard.
Full engaging moments spent navigating the loop
shall ever make a difference to victims found in the yard.

Still corpses of creatures, straight out of nightmare
fill up the corners of our tortured minds.
While ever saddened, the iconic male, most debonair,
gazes softly, ironically, at all the mutual interest he finds.

Moronic public statutes compel outbreaks of sanity,
responding to momentary impulses toward inducing peace.
Still, the motions get completed, in fertile stages of inanity
while the bulk of our inmates can find no surcease.

Reluctant motivation to continue is unbound,
striving to ascertain how far there yet remains to go.
No precognitive guesswork will make any less of a sound
to soften the final strains, to teach us to really know.

~~ gigoid ~~

_____________________________

Well, it came out… such as it is…. I think it may get some editing done on it, some day… for now, it’s fresh poetry, so treat it nicely, ‘kay?…. In the meantime, my ranting ability for today is rather limited, I think, since I can’t sit very long before having to get up to take a break… makes it hard to follow a close line of reasoning, necessary for a good rant…. So, we’re going back to an old-school variety pearl, just because I can, and I want to…. Besides, I think today, it’s for the best….

On previous occasions when I’ve tried to rant after writing a poem, or, in the mood I’m in, terrible things have happened, and regardless as to whether or not it may or may not happen again, I don’t care to take that risk today…. mostly because I’d be tempted to just leave the dead bodies where they laid, giving them no respect or burial…. Then, two days from now, I’ll regret it because of the irrevocable odoriferous nature of dead bodies after two days…. With THAT lovely image in your head, allow me to just move out of the way, as y’all stampede the bathroom, to give it up at the throne….

All back? All serene? Good, sorry ’bout that, won’t happen again…. Just enjoy the pearls, ffolkes, it’s the best way to get this done so you can get out of this mess….

“A noble man compares and estimates himself by an idea which is higher than himself; and a mean man, by one lower than himself. The one produces aspiration; the other ambition, which is the way in which a vulgar man aspires.” — Henry Ward Beecher

“For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe… Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.” — H. L. Mencken (1928)

“Do not say a little in many words but a great deal in a few.” — Pythagoras (BC 582-507)

“A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.” — Mahatma Gandhi

“One should always be a little improbable.” — Oscar Wilde

“A life directed chiefly toward the fulfillment of personal desires sooner or later always leads to bitter disappointment.” — Albert Einstein

“It’s a lot of fun being alive…  I wonder if my bed is made?!?” — Zippy the Pinhead

Okay, well, I like it…. so, it stays….
_____________________________

Today’s Pearl is, as are most of them, unique…. But, if something can be MORE unique than any other thing, if only by connotation, then, this Pearl is more so than any I can recall…. and my memory is VERY good…. Legally, I can’t go back and even start over, as it has a completed poem in it, so, we’ll just have to let it fly as it is, and hope for the best…. I hope y’all enjoy it, and aren’t turned away by the personal nature of a lot of it, or by the unreasonably huge amount of whine and cheesiness that was served up front…. I guess all I can do is all I can do, and I’ve done all I can do…. So be it, gigoid has spoken…. See ya….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Clueless Bob gets trundled away….

Ffolkes,
A lot of literature has been written throughout history on how much difference a day can make. It has also been noted that one day can make very little difference, especially for physical ailments of a chronic nature. Let me tell you, one day in the life of someone in pain is much more than just a day; there are hours within such days that last for months, and waiting for a pill to take effect (if it is going to….) can take decades, subjectively speaking…..

Having spent much of yesterday in such a state, I’ll vouch for the fact that it is no fun. But, it is life; as such, must be accepted and dealt with one way or another, and I refuse to spend all my time either worrying about it, or giving in to it. So, I am up, and determined to put as much of it aside as I can, so I can do the things that I need to do to improve my lot. Having to experience the pain while doing so is just going to have to be part of the picture for now, as the pain just isn’t going to go away for the time being, and there is nothing more I can do to change that….

First, let me say a big THANK YOU to those of my followers (a goodly number of them…) who stopped by the blog and expressed their sympathy for my condition yesterday. I really appreciate it, and only wish I could have gotten up from bed to see, and respond to, the comments before this morning. After yesterday’s Pearl was posted, I went back to bed, and spent much of the day there…. so this morning is the first I’ve seen them… so a big Thanks! to all of y’all…. I’m hoping today will be better…. so far, so good, we’re only at about level four and holding, so we might be okay…..time will tell.

And since time may be limited, let’s dive in and get this show on the road, eh?  Let’s Pearl, ffolkes, like we did last summer……
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“To be a philosopher is not merely to have subtle thoughts, nor even to found a school, but so to love wisdom as to live according to its dictates, a life of simplicity, independence, magnanimity, and trust. It is to solve the problems of life not only theoretically, but practically.”
— Henry David Thoreau

This is the road less traveled….. From an early age, my mind turned toward philosophy for its focus. Most of my peers were fully engaged in the social and personal tasks involved in growing up, putting their energy and mental efforts into learning how to get along in school, which at the time is Life. But I turned to books, instead, and spent a lot of time by myself, reading what the sages had said about Life, and trying to see how that knowledge was applicable.

It was, at times, lonely and hard, and not without its hazards, as one’s peers don’t always act nicely to those they don’t understand, and that is putting it nicely. Being different is not generally well-accepted in socially intense environments such as high school; teens are no more tolerant than their parents, after all, and our society is rife with examples of intolerance for any who are different.

But, it has always been worth it to me, because it has always worked. The things that I learned when I read were truths, and truth is useful in ALL situations, more so than social cues or habits, and in a lot of ways, what I learned from my studies of philosophy helped me to navigate the uncharted waters of my teen years with much less difficulty than what I observed in my peers. And that road less traveled continues to serve me well, even thought it is less populated….
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“A lizard ran out on a rock and looked up, listening no doubt to the sounding of the spheres. And what a dandy fellow! the right toss of a chin for you and swirl of a tail! If men were as much men as lizards are lizards they’d be worth looking at.” — D. H. Lawrence (1928)

Don’t know why, I just like it…. and it fits in with how I’m feeling today, so, here it is…. I’ve nothing to add either….it’s just fine the way it is….
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That’s all folks…. I am going to have to face up to reality. I can’t sit long enough to find pearls, and without pearls, I have nothing about which to write, unless I go into total weird mode, and I’m not ready for that just now…. I’m going to have to take an entire day off, I think, to get my back to a point where I can do things a bit more normally. If nothing else, I need to be able to sit long enough to search my dB, then to write about what I find, and right now, that is impossible….

I’ll leave you with a couple of good pearls, and will be back in a day or so…. I’m hoping to get into good enough condition by tomorrow, as I haven’t missed a day in over 300 posts, since August of last year, and I’d hate to break that run…. but, we’ll see how it goes… meantime, y’all take care…. and in the words of the Guvernator….. I’ll be back….
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“Again, our observations of the stars make it evident, not only that the earth is circular, but also that it is a circle of no great size.  For quite a small change of position to south or north causes a manifest alteration of the horizon.  There is much change, I mean, in the stars which are overhead, and the stars seen are different, as one moves northward or southward.  …All of which goes to show not only that the earth is circular in shape, but that it is a sphere of no great size:  for otherwise the effect of so slight a change of place would not be so quickly apparent.  Hence, one should not be too sure of the incredibility of the view of those who conceive that there is a continuity between the parts about the pillars of Hercules [the strait of Gibraltar] and the parts about India, and that in this way the ocean is one.” — Aristotle, De Caelo, Fourth Century B.C.

An example of the correct use of logic…..
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“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.” — Helen Keller

A good ending note….
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Okay, that’s all ffolkes…. Once again, sorry ’bout that, but I’m giving in to my age today… I’ll be back when I’m younger…. or at least feel that way…. y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

 

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

Are we sure they’re knobbly?

Ffolkes,
Some days making the effort to get up out of bed seems less attractive than others, to be sure. Especially when one’s first arising from bedside is accompanied by a great deal of pain, such as today. The effort it takes to get standing all the way up is, to say the least, excessive. Walking is problematic, as every motion seems to aggravate the lower back, where my spine enters the girdle of the hips. Every muscle in my lower back is tight, like a piece of wood, while the mid- and upper-back muscles are poised in anticipation of spasms (those that aren’t already seized up, like those under the scapula…..).  Such a joy….

Of course, this is not a particularly new event; it’s like this probably 3 or 4 days out of 7. Most days I awaken with pain level around 3 or 4, and try to keep it from exceeding 5 during the day’s activities. Days such as today, however, when I begin at level 6 or 7 upon arising, make it hard not to just take a pill and go back to bed…. thus avoiding the greater levels of pain I know will come, as the already painful muscles tire and stiffen further…. it’s a grand life, to be sure, but it’s mine, and it’s all I have, so I’ll just have to deal with it, now, won’t I?  Yes, I will….

And as such is the case, I refuse to give in to it. I won’t go back down, I will stay up until I cannot take it any more, and try to do whatever I can to stretch the muscles enough to ease some of the stiffness that I live with. Some day, when I finally am awarded the money that SS owes me (money I myself put into the system for just this purpose, that they are so far unwilling to share….) one of the first things I’ll do is get myself a massage. One can only understand the reduction of muscle tension as true freedom if one has experienced this kind of unrelenting pain, pain that never stops, and never allows one’s muscle’s to relax enough to feel normal. When it is released at last, the sense of release and relief is more than I can express; it is nothing less than true bliss…..

Ah, but such moments are for the future…. today, it is pain, stiffness, and more pain for me, until I can either get a balance of medication in me to put up a barrier between the pain and my conscious mind, or I can get my lower back to loosen up a bit, and give me a breathing space…. in the meantime, we’ll go for a dive, and search out something else to focus on… it can only help…. so, let’s Pearl, shall we?….
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I’m sorry…. I can’t do it today…. I’m trying to behave normally, just as if I wasn’t in severe pain, and it’s just not working today…. so I’m going to cheat… for today’s Pearl, I will post below a number of pearls, and a couple of pictures that inspire me in some way, whether for their extreme cuteness, or for their beauty…. that’s about all I can manage this morning, then I’m going to try to deal with the pain, somehow… though what I’ll do is not known at this point…. anything is better than this….. so, here are some pearls and pictures for your consideration

“It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.” — H.L. Mencken

“And it does matter.  An honest man or woman is an honest man or woman more because he or she is honest in the small, everyday things that “don’t matter” individually, but which make up a well-lived life, than because of some single great temptation that was passed.  A person who is concerned about individual rights or about individual dignity makes his or her difference not because of any sweeping great statement or action, but because of the accretion of small, individually seemingly insignificant acts that spread that dignity and confirm those rights through every action they take.  It matters because every action you take, and every action I take is an expression of the human spirit.” — William Oliver (oliver@uncmed.med.unc.edu)    I can just hear the calliope music in the background when I see this; they are in complete tune with each other, for sure….I got this picture off the news site, SFGATE, many moons ago… the attribution is in the lower right corner, if you enlarge it enough….
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“Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. (The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.)” — Mark Twain

What’s the most popular order at the Zen hotdog stand? Make me One With Everything! — Smart Bee

“He didn’t say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.” — Richard Darman, director of OMB, — explaining why President Bush wasn’t following up on his campaign pledge that there would be no loss of wetlands.
___________________________________This photo was found at Photobotos.com, and the photographer’s name can be found there…. I think it’s just too cool for words…..
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“Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious  attractiveness of others.” — Oscar Wilde

“I expect nothing.  I fear no one.  I am free.” — Nikos Kazantzakis (Zorba the Greek)
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I wish I had found this earlier….it’s a good one to describe this morning’s progress…..

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all doing direct the other way–in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.” — A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens, 1859

Finally….. the origin of the phrase, “picture perfect” from Carol Welsh’s blog:  http://carolwelsh.wordpress.com/, where you can find many such photos as this one….___________________________________

That’s all I’ve got today ffolkes…. sorry ’bout that, but I can barely keep myself from throwing the extra monitor through the window. I’d do it for the tension release, but it would no doubt make my back hurt worse than it already does.  Tomorrow I’ll write a real Pearl, as I’m sure by then I’ll have plenty of mental energy built up to get it done. Today is pretty much a foregone conclusion, so I’d best be getting to it… Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!