Bloody, but unbowed, he staggers on….

Ffolkes,

There are some mornings here on ECR when I’m no longer sure of what I’m doing, or exactly why. I’ve been doing these Pearls so long now at this time of the day, the routine of it will often pull me through any reluctance or fatigue that may manifest… We’ve discussed previously the power of routine in our lives, but, I don’t believe I explored how often routine is ALL we have to maintain the appearance of normalcy…. Our inner world can become so preoccupied with issues with which it is struggling, that the outer world, and all of ITS problems and issues become of distant, secondary concern to us, in terms of our priorities….

For example, today, I awoke with both a great deal of pain, and the full gamut of PTSD symptomatology, in full swing…. I’ve related how I am currently having to switch from one pain medication, upon which I’ve depended for my most complete pain relief for the last 8 years, to using strictly medical marijuana to treat my chronic, severe back and hip pain…. 

For some time now, I’ve used the marijuana products to augment the prescribed pain killer, as it is the most effective way to treat both the pain, and my PTSD symptoms, (consisting primarily of emotional lability, including ongoing anxiety, panic attacks, and insomnia), all without causing any side effects, no risk of overdose, and no known negative interactions with other substances. However, since the federal government’s laws concerning that substance are antediluvian in nature, the doctors turn into myrmidons, and insist on following “policy” rather than honoring their Hippocratic oath to treat the patient, not the society….

This morning, my physical and mental states decided to rebel against the changes that are being forced upon me, as I try to wean myself off the addictive drug they’ve been giving me for 8 years, thereby insuring that I will suffer the lovely group of symptoms of withdrawal from a narcotic, including some rather vicious dyskinesia that is affecting me today….

That is the condition where your muscles are vibrating, you can’t sit still, and the entire body feels as if an electric current is running through the musculature, causing each muscle to spasm in turn…. Oh, it’s a lovely condition, and I’m just glad there are certain of the mj products that help soothe the symptoms when they occur….

Okay, so, how’s the Pity Party going? Anybody else want to chime in?…. we’ve got a lot of whine, to go with any cheesy complaints YOU might have, if you wish to join in the fun….. No? Okay…. It’s probably best if I discontinue any further pairings of whine and cheese, and get on with what I’m ostensibly here to do…. which isn’t complain about my conditions, which is something everybody out there has to deal with, one way or another…. I’m not alone, in that my medical issues aren’t any worse or better than anyone else’s….

But, they’re MINE, and they do take up more of my attention than I like…. I’ve never been “sickly” or even particularly weak in any way…. just the opposite. Which is why I really, really HATE not being able to do just about anything I’d like to be able to do anymore, and end up complaining about it…. I can’t say you’ll never hear about this again, but, I’m done for today…. Let’s get on with our regular business, okay? Okay….

Shall we Pearl?…..

“There is an ancient saying, famous among men, that thou shouldst not judge fully of a man’s life before he dieth, whether it should be called blest or wretched.” — Sophocles (496-406 BC) — Trachiniae, 1
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I have to say, (one last bitch), this process isn’t as much fun when I’m having PTSD issues…. The mental effort to remain in disguise, as a normal, intelligent human being, is huge, and when one throws in the pain, it’s enough to have me in tears every few minutes, as I try and try to throw off the unwelcome, and unnecessary feelings of sorrow, from whatever source they’re bubbling up to torment me…. You see, I don’t even know WHY I’m sitting here with tears flowing freely down my face as I type…. I have no big issues of import at hand, at least, not any emotional ones, that I can think of, that would cause any such degree of angst, so, it HAS to be rooted in the past, somehow…. Nothing else makes any sense….

So, anybody have any suggestions, as to how I can get rid of all this shit that keeps coming up to haunt me, when I haven’t a single clue as to what the hell it’s all about?

No?

Well, I don’t blame you for not wanting to get involved…. mental health issues come under the heading of NIMBY for most folks, and, even for some ffolkes, who know a bit more about the issues involved, and are less judgmental…. It’s okay, though, because I have a sure fire way, at least of a temporary nature, that will do just fine to throw these feelings back behind the screen of denial where they generally reside; it’s called a random harlequin old-school pearl, a creative process that never fails to cheer me up…. So, I hope you enjoy the following group of pearls, because they’re definitely going to save my ass this morning….

“It is odd, is it not, that a person’s worth to society by is measured by their wealth, when instead their wealth should be measured by their worth to society.” — A. Cygni

“Belief in God? An afterlife? I believe in rock: this apodictic rock beneath my feet.” — Edward Abbey

— ‘Shit Happens’ according to…  Waitress: “You want fries with that shit?”

“Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the  concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.” — P. J. O’Rourke

“He hoped and prayed that there wasn’t an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn’t an afterlife.” — Douglas Adams

“Whoever invented the eraser had the human race pretty well sized up.” — Smart Bee

“Euripides was wont to say, ‘Silence is an answer to a wise man.'” — Plutarch (46-120 AD) — Of Bashfulness

Those of y’all who have seen a number of pearls in your time reading this blog will recognize this one as damn near perfect….. If you don’t get why, not to worry…. It’s all good advice, or good concepts upon which to spend time considering, and, thus, is worth reading…. If the point it makes isn’t clear, don’t push it, it will come to you in time…. If you are like me, it may wake you up late at night, out of your sleep, to say a loud “AHA!”….. And if not, well, you didn’t waste much time, and it DID improve your mind, know it or not….
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I really wish…. Well, why not? Let’s see what happens….

Blithely Untitled

A poem came to me today, willy, nilly,
along with a sharp blow to the head.
Since it left me feeling just a bit silly,
anything that rhymes should lessen the dread.

Manifesting destiny into a small, insidious group
we push on toward sanity, concentrating hard.
Full engaging moments spent navigating the loop
shall ever make a difference to victims found in the yard.

Still corpses of creatures, straight out of nightmare
fill up the corners of our tortured minds.
While ever saddened, the iconic male, most debonair,
gazes softly, ironically, at all the mutual interest he finds.

Moronic public statutes compel outbreaks of sanity,
responding to momentary impulses toward inducing peace.
Still, the motions get completed, in fertile stages of inanity
while the bulk of our inmates can find no surcease.

Reluctant motivation to continue is unbound,
striving to ascertain how far there yet remains to go.
No precognitive guesswork will make any less of a sound
to soften the final strains, to teach us to really know.

~~ gigoid ~~

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Well, it came out… such as it is…. I think it may get some editing done on it, some day… for now, it’s fresh poetry, so treat it nicely, ‘kay?…. In the meantime, my ranting ability for today is rather limited, I think, since I can’t sit very long before having to get up to take a break… makes it hard to follow a close line of reasoning, necessary for a good rant…. So, we’re going back to an old-school variety pearl, just because I can, and I want to…. Besides, I think today, it’s for the best….

On previous occasions when I’ve tried to rant after writing a poem, or, in the mood I’m in, terrible things have happened, and regardless as to whether or not it may or may not happen again, I don’t care to take that risk today…. mostly because I’d be tempted to just leave the dead bodies where they laid, giving them no respect or burial…. Then, two days from now, I’ll regret it because of the irrevocable odoriferous nature of dead bodies after two days…. With THAT lovely image in your head, allow me to just move out of the way, as y’all stampede the bathroom, to give it up at the throne….

All back? All serene? Good, sorry ’bout that, won’t happen again…. Just enjoy the pearls, ffolkes, it’s the best way to get this done so you can get out of this mess….

“A noble man compares and estimates himself by an idea which is higher than himself; and a mean man, by one lower than himself. The one produces aspiration; the other ambition, which is the way in which a vulgar man aspires.” — Henry Ward Beecher

“For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe… Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.” — H. L. Mencken (1928)

“Do not say a little in many words but a great deal in a few.” — Pythagoras (BC 582-507)

“A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.” — Mahatma Gandhi

“One should always be a little improbable.” — Oscar Wilde

“A life directed chiefly toward the fulfillment of personal desires sooner or later always leads to bitter disappointment.” — Albert Einstein

“It’s a lot of fun being alive…  I wonder if my bed is made?!?” — Zippy the Pinhead

Okay, well, I like it…. so, it stays….
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Today’s Pearl is, as are most of them, unique…. But, if something can be MORE unique than any other thing, if only by connotation, then, this Pearl is more so than any I can recall…. and my memory is VERY good…. Legally, I can’t go back and even start over, as it has a completed poem in it, so, we’ll just have to let it fly as it is, and hope for the best…. I hope y’all enjoy it, and aren’t turned away by the personal nature of a lot of it, or by the unreasonably huge amount of whine and cheesiness that was served up front…. I guess all I can do is all I can do, and I’ve done all I can do…. So be it, gigoid has spoken…. See ya….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

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Honest, mister, I read the manual….

Ffolkes,

Before beginning to write today, I took a few moments playing solitaire, to calm my nerves, and to help me in beating back the urge to rant, here in the intro section. Not that there is anything inherently wrong with ranting; it’s just not the best place for it, in terms of structure and format. I prefer to wait, at least until section one, before jumping in with both feet, and haven’t been very adept of late at keeping myself from that form of premature ejaculation, an issue which hasn’t been a problem since, oh, before my marriage ended…. at least, not in a verbal sense…. The physical aspects of that descriptive phrase haven’t been a problem for some years, but one must be cautious, lest such things spread to one’s peripheral activities….

Now, I’m sure that, while you probably can appreciate my delicacy in discussing this matter with some discretion, it’s probably somewhat confusing, trying to figure out whether I’m talking about talking, writing, or making love (as opposed to ‘having sex’, a much less enjoyable sport….). In fact, I’m a bit confused myself, but, in this case, that may be an advantage. There are times when a certain degree of “plausible deniability” comes in handy…. just ask any President, or Presidential candidate about that…. Of course, they probably won’t discuss it, at least not on record, but, you can always say you asked; that has to count for something….

Oops, almost got caught up there…. I’ve got to remember to be careful, not to even MENTION a politician, or a preacher-type (even though, as Popes go, this one’s got a lot of class the others never showed….), or I start in on them with a vengeance…. I just don’t think I need to spend that much energy here in the beginning… I need to learn to pace myself, saving the best part for later on in the Pearl, where it will be highlighted by the brilliance of the material that surrounds and supports it…. Ah, yes, dreams..

We all have our dreams, don’t we? Me, I thought, hey, if I call Congress, maybe I can talk to Feinstein, or Pelosi, or one of my actual representatives in the House of Representatives…. They’ve got a lot of representatives there; maybe I can even find the one that is supposed to be representing ME, to ask him/her (I suppose I ought to know which it is, shouldn’t I?….) some of these pertinent questions I have, about the latest news coming down the pike…. I’d love to ask some of them the kind of questions that cause a deep silence on the other end of the phone, you know? The kind that tells me I’ve stumped them, or caught them without a prepared lie…

Whoa, hold on there…. almost went there again…. Oh well, I suppose I’ve blathered enough, and wandered around the edges of coherency without really saying anything, for what is most probably enough material to be able to call it an intro… If not, well, too bloody bad, ffolkes, because I’m done with it now, and no matter how hard you try, you won’t be able to make me start over…. Not that I expect you’d be that silly, but, we’ve had some weird stuff happen, so, I try to cover all the bases in my preparations…. In the meantime….

Shall we Pearl?…..

“Honor is the reward of virtue.” — Cicero (B.C. 106-43)

(If this is still true, we’re all in deep shit…. Just thought you should know…. )
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Well, I waited until now to begin ranting, which is probably a good thing. Perhaps this will be a bit more effective as a call to action than in the usual position, or wherever it’s been of late that has kept it from at least making me feel a bit better for having ranted…. What a mouthful! And so on topic, too! Gotta love us amateurs, eh?….

At any rate, I found this article yesterday, buried back a few pages, probably because everyone is so tired of hearing of yet ANOTHER outrageous instance of the NSA breaking the law, by once again going far beyond the scope of their legal mandate, in the ever-widening quest by our own government to become the true Evil Empire…. I know, that’s some pretty high-powered language to use to in discussing an agency of our own government, but, as always, I believe in calling a spade a damn shovel, not an indigenous individual digging device, type 2…. and you may as well get used to it….

These assholes over at the NSA have gone completely bonkers; they assumed that because they got practically all they wanted in the way of legal coverage by the administration, they may as well just go ahead and do whatever else they wanted, believing that the people who set them loose on the trail of ostensible terrorists would protect them from any critical attention and/or interference by something as mundane as the law, or the will of the people….. and, for a long time, they were justified in that belief…. But, now that their clandestine activities are being brought to light by that national hero, Eric Snowden, the rats are deserting their ship, and leaving them to their fate without any real support….

Talk around Washington is that the President is going to, belatedly, stop spying on the leaders of our allies, and will move to put limits on what the agencies are allowed to access in the data that is generated by the general public. This is a complete reversal, and I can only hope it is in response to the pressure put on them by the public’s obvious displeasure, and not as a temporary measure to appease while they figure out a diversion in some other area of the public venue, where they can cause some problem that will draw our attention away from this issue, allowing them to continue their illegal, but, in their eyes, oh so necessary theft of the people’s identities….

http://www.sfgate.com/business/technology/article/Report-NSA-broke-into-Yahoo-Google-data-centers-4939585.php

In the article, the most significant part of what is there, to my way of thinking, is that the companies involved say had no idea that they were being compromised, even though their own security measures are considered to be nearly impenetrable… Well, they SAY they had no idea; one must remember they ARE a corporation, and, thus, are very familiar with telling the public what they wish to hear….

However, it appears that the American and British spies went in, got their data, and left, without ever notifying Google, or Yahoo, of what they were taking, though such activities are still illegal, according to the laws in place…. (Not to mention rude… ) The spying mandate they have doesn’t extend to what they stole, theoretically…. Of course, they can say they didn’t KNOW that, but, then, lying is their entire purpose, and the single most critical part of their entire modus vivendi, is it not?…. Even in the Art of War, Sun Tzu acknowledged the importance of the spy in warfare, calling them the most powerful of all the various types of warriors…

Of course it is, just as lying and cheating come naturally to anyone in a nationally elected office; it’s part of their job description these days, even if it is written in invisible ink….. Since Google, and Yahoo, and the other agencies that were hacked, are all corporations, and have pretty much the same characteristics as shown by the BRC pundits, (i.e., a tendency to lie at the drop of a cliche…), it’s a bit hard to tell who is more guilty here….

Is it Google and/or Yahoo, who are gathering all sorts of data about its users without their knowledge or permission (I don’t regard those passive advertisements that one can “control” what data is gathered by adjusting their “preferences” as real permission…. they take whatever data they want, and tell you about it later, if at all….)….? Or, is it the government spy agencies, who are stealing that same stolen data from the corporations, that fit the bill as the villain?

It should make for an interesting contest, to see how this fake argument plays out….. I mean, I can’t really believe that the BRC, who is controlled and supported by the corporations (go ahead, disprove that!….), will continue to try to take data from them without their knowledge. It’s more likely they are playing out this faux-dispute in the public venue in order to confuse the public about who is on their side in this issue…

It seems to be working, as always, as the public is pretty much ignoring these latest revelations, and looking around for almost anything to take their minds elsewhere for a while… I’m almost interested, in a resigned, doubtful sort of way, to see just what they come up with next to draw the public’s attention off this issue…. Probably more to do with the recent roll-out of health care reform laws, which seems to be a hot button for a lot of people….

For me, all of it is dross and spittle…. I believe, absolutely, that if there is an official statement made by anyone in the government printed in the news, it needs to be examined in the light of what it is NOT saying, to ascertain about what it is lying, or what it is trying to hide by distraction, not merely for what it says…. Their motivation in making ANY public statement is manipulation of public attitudes; they’re not trying to make anything better.

They lie outright, they leave stuff out, they point us in all kinds of useless directions, but they almost NEVER tell us what is actually going on, unless we’ve already caught them at it… In those cases, we see all sorts of backing and filling, as they come up with all sorts of “plausible deniability” in order to convince the public that their lies are really the truth…

What a crock! If it wasn’t so damn sad and depressing, it would be amusing…. SIGH… Enough is enough…. Stay alert, ffolkes, because they’re lying to you every day, and doing all they can to improve THEIR lot in life, not yours…. Let them know you’re on to them, at every opportunity…. If nothing else, it will make them nervous, which they deserve….

“You can fool all of the people some of the time; you can fool some of the people all of the time; and that should be sufficient for most purposes.” — Smart Bee, quoting from the true bible, used by both politicians and preachers…..

“The ideal robot, after all, is simply a properly processed human being.” — Edward Abbey
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“But groundless hope, like unconditional love, is the only kind worth having.” — EFF co-founder John Perry Barlow, “Cynthia Horner’s Eulogy”, Apr. 1994

Unsolicited Gratitude

Fear becomes familiar when reality bodes us ill
pain assumes first position, no matter our will.
Powerless, we founder, no strength to prevail
anguished and afraid, against unwanted Fate we rail.

Still, a grain of hope deep inside, hidden well against need
gives us reason to survive, our starving souls to feed.
Failure of courage burdens time, of being bested,
until our souls, in submission, become foully infested.

Bitter tears wash through us each day, with little care,
no thought, no feeling, no wish, or need to be fair.
Rendered clueless, confusion falls upon us, as prey,
we surrender a piece of our soul, little as we may.

Yet, always, a bright beam of hope is seen from afar,
no matter how dreary, or dark, it may seem where we are.
None knows, nor would consent to tell, it seems
from whence it hails, or why it so brightly gleams.

Saving our sanity, absolving our unwanted fears,
dispelling the myths and lies that come with the years.
Each man has known the precious gift that hope may give
And gives glad thanks, as long as he may live.

~~ gigoid ~~

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Arguably, I could get away with not having a short introductory paragraph here, but, I hate stuff that isn’t either symmetric, or traditionally asymmetric. I’m funny that way, among others….. Nonetheless, it will help today if you just sort of skew your eyes off in another direction for a moment, while I just….. there. You didn’t see that, did you? I hope not, I’d have to kill you if you had….. But, now, we can get on with the rest of this pearl, and finish off this Pearl, thanks to the absence of the government agent I just offed and buried out back….

(For those of you reading this in a cubicle at the NSA, or at any of our fine nation’s other domestic or foreign spy agencies, such as the FBI, the CIA, or any of them…… that’s we we writers call a “joke”, and it has no connection with reality, other than the tenuous resemblance to one that exists only in your own tiny little mind…. in other words, PSYCHE!…. Hah!…. bloody assholes , who have nothing better to do than go around spying on regular folks, they get what they deserve….)

Since I have decided to NOT go without an intro here, well, this is what you get…. Sorry, but, it’s what I could come up with, and y’all will just have to deal with it… I think, though, the power of the following pearl will mitigate any possible discomfort, or discombobulation of any sort, that you may experience today, as it is turning out to be extremely cogent, as well as powerfully poignant…. I should know, I’m a sensitive guy….

“The Master doesn’t talk, he acts, when his work is done, the people say, “Amazing: We did it all by ourselves!”” — Tao Te Ching

“In writing, fidelity to fact leads eventually to the poetry of truth.” — Edward Abbey

“The comedy of man survives the tragedy of man.” — G. K. Chesterton, Illustrated London News, 2-10-06

“A people who expect to be ignorant and free expect what never will, and never can, be.” — Thomas Jefferson

“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. ” — Friedrich Nietzsche

“It is odd, is it not, that a person’s worth to society by is measured by their wealth, when instead their wealth should be measured by their worth to  society.” — A. Cygni

“Reality is a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.” — Lily Tomlin
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One never knows, do one? This may have turned out better than I’d realized, or even hoped…. let’s see what happened here…. Whatever that was, it seems to have worked fairly well…. Well enough that I’m calling it a done deal, and making my escape, stage left, right about…. now….. See ya….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3