Meantime, I am reduced to creating my Pearls ahead of time, so that I can post them quickly…. this gives me a little time to catch up to email, check in with Facebook and Twitter, check the time for the ball game at the news site I frequent, and then do any online research I’ve remembered from when at home…. all of which adds up to a routine I’m still evolving into some sort of efficiency, reluctantly. It’s still annoying to have to develop a whole new routine, just because I had to move, but I suppose I can’t complain too much…. I’m still living indoors, and have enough to eat, which is a damn site better than a lot of the world’s population can say…. Can’t forget that, even when it gets better, or worse, there are always people in a tougher spot…..

What this all boils down to is that today’s effort was actually created yesterday, almost completely…. it was necessary to fill in around the edges, as you will see after reading today’s poetry effort in the second section of pearls. That effort drained me pretty thoroughly, and I retreated into the past a bit…. sections one, three, and the closing section are all pearls created years ago…… a mild form of hebephrenia, as is were…. and, sorry, no, you’ll have to look it up….. 🙂   Try a Dictionary of Psychiatric Disorders…. which is appropriate for use in this blog….

I’m now ensconced comfortably with a cuppa coffee at the local Wi-Fi & java spot, ready to cram a day’s worth of internet into an hour and a half. The Pearl is ready, so I’m going to begin the process of moving it from my laptop to the blog site, with a short stop to send out the email Pearl, which continues a tradition founded over 10 years ago, in the dawn of the personal computer age…… and has been my primary source of defense against insanity for all that time…. Shall we Pearl?……
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There are times when getting bogged down is unavoidable; the nature of the Universe demands this, in order to maintain the proper degree of entropy. I think it is one of God’s greatest jokes, one that begs for understanding. I mean, just look at the way things are set up; is this not prat-fall funny, having a well-ordered Nature, and then tossing in entropy to keep things interesting? Things fall apart, and that’s just the way it is…..

proof by forward reference:
Reference is usually to a forthcoming paper of the author, which is often not as forthcoming as at first.

proof by semantic shift:
Some of the standard but inconvenient definitions are changed for the statement of the result.

proof by appeal to intuition:
Cloud-shaped drawings frequently help here.

— How to Prove It, Part 7

“A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.” — Francis Bacon, English philosopher (1561-1626)

As always, the lesson is left as an exercise for the gentle reader…..
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Playing by the Rules

All my days I looked for love,
And found it everywhere I looked.
The years were joyous and fully booked
Seemingly by command from Above.

In return for all of the beauty in Life I found
I played life by the Rules that we all know,
It was from my father I learned the how,
Honest love, given freely, hand-fasted, gladly bound.

It seemed a while as if it were all real,
that fulfillment and contentment could be
as real as the children given us to oversee,
to teach them of Life and Love, and how to feel.

Then storm clouds of grievous change arrived, unbidden
Insidious, deceitful, three steps forward, then one back.
Tearing holes in our beautiful cloth, a heart heard to crack,
Gleeful demons eating life’s bounty, fangs dirty, and hidden.

Pain and sorrow grew, in defiance of all I tried,
Sanctuary turned into a reluctant scene of ritual battle,
Love still lives, but herded like doomed and pitiful cattle,
While the keening of my soul sounds as if I’d cried.

Betrayal in love is, allow me to assure, no small pain to take.
Time has no power to reduce its place in my heart or soul.
My truest love became a stranger, a powerfully sharp toll,
Solitude has become my lot, no killing time for necessity’s sake.

Love yet surrounds me, everywhere; I’m not one of those fools…
Children are forgiving, I’m glad to be able to say,
They show me life’s solid purpose, the old, right way,
I guess  don’t know any other way, than to Play it by the Rules.

~~ gigoid

Okay, ffolkes, this one hurt, a lot, but it had to come out…. I’ve been in tears for an hour now, first drowning in feeling that arose from inside, unasked, then letting those feelings out onto the screen, and they’re not going to stop anytime soon, I can tell. This is an old, old pain, and apparently has been hiding for a while, buried much deeper than I had previously given credence to; it fucking HURTS!….. It’s a damn  good thing that I’m an optimist, and too bloody stubborn to give up believing in Life, and all that is good and beautiful in it…. that’s all I can say…. otherwise, I’d be damned depressed right now….. I  gotta go…..
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As a firm believer in taking responsibility for our own karma, I often allow instinct to guide my behavior. This is not to say that it is my sole guide, but evolution gave us certain advantageous traits, and allowing them free rein can be, and often is, a very comfortable path to success. (Success = survival)  Reason, and perception, and those other parts of us arising out of our intelligence that can be valuable as survival tools can fail us at the test, and instinct provides options. Thus this morning’s offering…. many of you are, ostensibly, therapists. These are good tools in being effective as one who serves others in the fertile fields of the human mind…..

“A bitter jest, when the satire comes too near the truth, leaves a sharp sting behind.” — Tacitus

“If rejection destroys your self-esteem, you’re letting others hold you as an emotional hostage.” — Brian Tracy

“You may forget the one with whom you have laughed, but never the one with whom you have wept.” — Kahlil Gibran

Thoughtfully kind, self-confident, and compassionate. Valuable traits indeed……
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The following pearl, also a former Pearl, is from the summer of 2008, as are the first section, and the third section of today’s Pearl. I know it’s a bit lazy, and possibly a bit confusing, but, bear with me, as I go through these difficult times, bereft of my usual resources, such as Smart Bee, and an ISP at home…. I’ve been around writing these Pearls for a long time now, all in all, and there are a lot of them I don’t even remember…. it’s kind of fun, like finding a long lost stash of comic books…. any who, enjoy….. even if it isn’t Monday…. please?….

First Impressions…

Ffolkes,
…..can last a long time, even when the secondary & tertiary experience is contrary. Which is why I try to be particularly lucid on Mondays. But then, nobody’s perfect……

“Be able to be alone.  Lose not the advantage of solitude, and the society of thyself.”–unknown smart guy

Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom. — Theodore Isaac Rubin

It is good to be alone sometimes. And wisdom is its’ own reward. But this next one, this is powerful truth!

“Fifty bucks, same as downtown!” — The Philadelphia Kid

See, it’s all in the wrist….. And don’t worry about the lesson today; it isn’t there…..unless you wish it to be……