My brain informs me that today we will be taking the day off, at least from any sort of the customarily productive, intellectually stimulating activity that generally occurs here…. This isn’t to say that our usual acts of random idiocy are anything that should, or, for that matter, shouldn’t, be encouraged, or that I believe any of the claptrap that ends up on the screen…. Oh no, far from it…. It merely means that I’m lazy again, and trying desperately to figure out a way to get this done without actually doing any real thinking, an endeavor which, at the moment, hurts considerably….

Hopefully, in my casting about for a suitable opening, I haven’t sprayed any of the dross on your clothing, or offended you in any way; it’s way too early to deal with a lawyer, or hard feelings. Mornings such as these are a trial to me, methinks, mostly because of my sense of honor, and its true companion, integrity, instilled in me by the man who raised me, and not something that I have any choice about…. This honor of which I speak is of the ilk that has always forced me into acting in ways that puzzles many of my contemporaries, as I do things that the general run of folks don’t bother to do….

Like giving an hour’s work for an hour’s pay…. Like paying one’s bills as soon as possible. Like telling the truth, even when it hurts me, or someone else.  Like opening a door, or standing when a lady enters a room. Like taking off one’s hat when going indoors. Like showing respect for those older than me. Like doing all those things that lead one to self-respect; in essence, these acts are those that make one able to look in the mirror in the morning, and meet their own eyes….

Much of our society ignores these simple rules, a truism that has, to my way of thinking, led to many of the serious, life-threatening issues we face in the world today…. To be honorable, one must act in such a way that one’s own self-interests are secondary to whatever is needed to make others comfortable, or safe. Robert Heinlein’s definition of love includes this concept, when it says, “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” When one is capable of extending that love, and/or the actions that go along with it, to the entire world, one may call themselves a gentleman….

It’s really not that hard to do, once one embraces honor and truth as their guidelines for life, making the firm determination to live as a gentleman….. a statement which inspires me, at this point, to include some Art…. I seldom do this sort of thing in the intro, but, today, it seems like the correct thing to do… So, with no further bilge from me, here are the Rules of A Gentleman…. To me, THIS is the blueprint for a life, well lived….

On that note…. Shall we Pearl?…..
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I’ve been lazy lately, as you know, and haven’t written a fresh religirant, or politirant, in days…. I’m also not going to burden y’all today with another long, rambling diatribe against the Asininnies, of all varieties, because, quite frankly, I’m a little burned out, and need to let my brain percolate without having to produce for a time…. As that is the case, we’ll be going old school today, with a few pearls I found over the last few days, all of which take a few nice, healthy swings at the priestly hierarchies, as well as at the numb knees who buy into their delusions…. Enjoy!….

“A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.” — Matz’s Maxim

“A long and wicked life followed by five minutes of perfect grace gets you into Heaven. An equally long life of decent living and good works followed by one outburst of taking the name of the Lord in vain, then have a heart attack at that moment and be damned for eternity. Is that the system?” — Robert A. Heinlein

In English, “I beseech you, my brothers, _remain faithful to the earth_ and believe not those who speak of supernatural hopes. Poisonmongers are they, whether they know it or not. — Nietzsche, “Also Sprach Zarathustra”

“Evolution is as much a fact as the earth turning on its axis and going around the sun.  At one time this was called the Copernican theory; but, when evidence for a theory becomes so overwhelming that no informed person can doubt it, it is customary for scientists to call it a fact.  That all present life descended from earlier forms, over vast stretches of geologic time, is as firmly established as Copernican cosmology.  Biologists differ only with respect to theories about how the process operates.” — Martin Gardner, “Irving Kristol and the Facts of Life”,  — The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, ppg. 128-131

“He who speaks the truth must have one foot in the stirrup.” — Armenian proverb

“Do not be angry with me if I tell you the truth.” — Socrates (470?-399 B.C.)

“Don’t you think you’re a little over reacting?” — Adam to God
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On March 18 of last year, I wrote a long, harsh religirant, with the main target being Mother Theresa, one of the most egregiously sanctimonious assholes of all time, in my opinion…. I’m not in a space right now to show that rant again just now, (though you could find it in the archives with that date in 2013), but, the poem I wrote after being stimulated by the rant isn’t bad at all, so here ’tis, such as it is….

In keeping with today’s policy of anti-freshness, I offer the following link to an article in the Telegraph, a newspaper from the UK, now publishing online…. This was a photo gallery, with pictures of each of the comedians listed…. I thought it would be a nice little break in routine for around here, to send y’all off to somewhere to find a few smiles…. I’ve included some of my favorite lines below the link, to give an idea of what you’ll find there…. Enjoy, ffolkes, it doesn’t happen often around here….

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/culturepicturegalleries/9594011/30-great-one-liners.html

Groucho Marx (1890-1977): ‘I never forget a face, but in your case I’d be glad to make an exception.’

W.C Fields (1880-1946):’Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.’

Billy Connolly (24 November 1942-): ‘My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.’

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967):  ‘If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.’

Mae West (1893-1980): ‘I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.’

Jay Leno (April 28, 1950-): ‘Politics is just show business for ugly people.’

Ambrose Bierce, author of The Devil’s Dictionary (1842-1913): ‘War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.’
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It’s actually a good thing I didn’t try to write anything original today…. The process of trying to put this whole Pearl together has proved THAT to me indisputably…. I won’t complain, though, because, hey, we’re done, right? Right… See you tomorrow, I hope…. if things improve, there’s a solid chance of it….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.