Tag Archives: W.C. Fields

Put down the matches, sir, & step away from the dead clown….

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Ffolkes,

Okay, now my feelings are REALLY hurt….. Well, not actually, but…. for the first time since I began this blog, which began in it’s current location on WordPress in August of 2011, as I sit down to write this morning, NOBODY…. that’s nobody at all, came by to read yesterday’s Pearl…. If they did, they didn’t like what they saw, and left without a comment….

If I cared much at all about whether or not this gets read, I’d be truly upset, or hurt, or some such reaction that would show how much I put into this, and care about what I write…. But, since that isn’t the case, I can’t say I’m upset, but, I’m definitely not sure WHAT to think….

I no longer HAVE to write this blog, as it no longer matters to me whether or not I stay sane, per se….         My retirement is all set, and all I have to do is keep breathing, stay solvent, and hope Social Security doesn’t get gutted before I get my share of what I put in there. So, the former, semi-original reason for doing this, to maintain my sanity while waiting for it all to sort itself out, is no longer valid…..

Plus, quite simply, I don’t much CARE any longer whether or not I appear to be sane, as the only one to whom it matters, milady Patricia, seems to enjoy my insanity, when it isn’t frustrating her trying to comprehend what I’m doing, or making her scramble to follow my often obscure trains of thought…. Come to think of it, my thoughts probably are more like a big room of cotton candy, dotted randomly with bourbon truffles, than a train…. Yes, I’m aware that’s a bit odd….

“Odd” doesn’t scare me, nor does “strange”…. I mean, it might bother me, if I cared at all about what people think, but, I learned, from cats, long ago, how to NOT give a shit about any of that….. Seriously, if you want to know how to not give a crap about what people think, just watch your cat. They’ve been perfecting their manner of ignoring people for many, many generations, and have become the acknowledged masters of the cold shoulder, and the complete indifference that so annoys other creatures….

So, in the final analysis, I don’t much care if nobody likes my work….. Realistically, that may merely be a function of the material about which I write, and the unpalatability of such difficult subjects as politics, religion, human nature, and global warming…. All of those tend to bring out passion in people, so I can see why many might not wish to deal with it every day…. Plus, my opinions generally run to the pessimistic, as I don’t have a lot of faith in human nature to be anything other than stupid and coarse, and to display every weakness of morality that we have identified….. Well, sorry, but, I’m just playing the odds there…

The part that bothers me isn’t my own ego-driven desire to be liked, or appreciated; those are issues I resolved a long time ago, and they don’t cause me any pain…. No, what bothers me is, the message I’m putting out there, about the BRC, the bankers, the politicians, the police, the judges, and the mundanes who support them in oppressing the rest of us, is not getting the distribution and attention that it deserves, or that people need, if we are to ever save our asses from our own stupidity…. I don’t care at all if people don’t like, or don’t agree with my take on most things, but, when it comes to the effects we are seeing of global warming, it is NOT something that ANY of us can afford to ignore…..

No, I wish I could figure out how to get somebody to start distributing what I’ve written to a wider audience, who might then be able to spread the word far enough that someone who can actually DO something will hear it, and be prompted to act…. It’s a bit frustrating to be saying all of this, to pour myself into what I’ve written, and then watch it die, in what for a literary work is an unnatural death, left to rot on the shelf, without being consumed…..

SIGH…. c’est la vie…. Perhaps, someday, my Prince will come…. (Maybe I should have used the word Publisher?….) Of course, a prince wouldn’t do much in the way of agreeing with me, or liking what I say, but, it sounds nice, doesn’t it?…. I suppose that’s all we have left, is to be nice to ourselves…. SIGH… Wanna come with me & eat some worms?….

Shall we Pearl?…..

“Have no fear – I never attack lesser beings.” — gigoid the dubious
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“What is government itself but the greatest of all reflections on human nature? If men were angels, no government would be necessary.” — Thomas Jefferson

In a pearl from a day or two ago, I mentioned a business deal that struck my eye, as being another example of how little the 99% in the world actually have in the way of resources, in contrast to the shadowy corporate entities that inhabit the other 1%….. The deal referred to in the article, I pointed out, was to be made to the tune of forty-five BILLION dollars….. an amount the human mind isn’t capable of grasping, really…..

It’s more money than all of the 99% here in America typically has to spend in one day, (I did the math…it’s $136 for each of the 330 million of us here in the USA, not counting the 33,000 or so who don’t need any at all, because they’re in the other 1%) approximately; this huge amount of money is, no doubt, being spent, out of Comcast’s “petty cash drawer”, dipping only lightly into actual profits, to purchase the next biggest cable system besides themselves, thereby cornering more than 33% of the cable market for itself….

Read the article, then we’ll talk….

http://blog.sfgate.com/techchron/2014/02/14/follow-the-money-to-congress-on-comcast-time-warner-deal/

ECONOMY, n.  Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford. — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

First, let’s look at what Comcast had to spend bribing Congress, on the political tools they wish to cultivate….. According to the above article, Maplights says the amount they contributed to various members of Congress over the past two years, since this deal has been in the works, is $835, 525. That probably sounds a bit low to you; I know it does to me, until I realized that this is the amount they REPORTED, not the actual amount given, which, I’m sure, is much more cleverly hidden than the numbers they actually let us see…. Plus, this amount represents the CASH contributed, not any perks, or favors that were also tendered…

Still, it’s almost a million dollars, in cash, which you know they spent without even counting the cost, as money well-laundered, and well-used, to secure favors (to wit: votes to approve the deal)…. For that measly million bucks, they’re allowed to spend their “spare” 45 BILLION, to ensure that they continue to have the power and resources to continue to supply the public with the bread and circuses that comprises the TV and Entertainment Industry….

TV, now with the related usefulness of computers and the internet, is possibly the most influential industry the Beloved Ruling Class has, in terms of effectiveness in directing, and molding. the public’s attitudes….. These two communication tools form, together, a mega-industry which, as you know, includes the entire sporting world, and all the billions upon billions of dollars that people spend to vicariously re-live their youth, watching football, basketball, baseball, tennis, cricket, rugby, soccer, and all the other billion-dollar industries that each individual sport can generate, when turned into a professional competition, rather than amateur….

Hell, the cable companies even make money broadcasting the amateur sports, making an even larger profit, because none of the players are being paid! (…. on the surface….)…. If, like me, you paid attention to the little bit of history they teach in high school, you might remember the discussions on ancient Rome, and the public circuses they had in their era….. Most of the time, in the books and class discussions, the circuses were pointed out as a symptom of their dying culture, which subsequent events seemed to prove, as Rome’s culture declined, until it was sacked by barbarians not many centuries after the circuses began in earnest….

“America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization.” — George Clemenceau (1841-1929) — Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

In our own culture, we have television, movies, sports, and now, the Internet, all of which, the way they have evolved, are now used to augment and support the ruling classes, at the behest and direction of those who control society…. These are, collectively, nothing more than our version of the Roman circuses under Nero, effectively keeping the majority of our society quiet, content to laze around, peacefully watching Sex In The City, or the Olympics, or, googling gossip about their neighbors….

Okay, since nobody will probably read much of this, I’m going to save some of my angst, and conduct a test, an experiment, as it were…. I’m going to ask a couple of questions now, to see how many people it might stimulate into answering, in the comment section… The questions are such that I hope will make y’all think, at least a little…. then, if you have the time, let us know what your response might be, in your own inimitable style…. Me, I’m going to go find some pearls for section three, & a poem for section two, after which I’ll get out my candles, my chrysknife, and my amulets, to cast a spell of deep thinking, over whomever stops in to read, which will, if successful, MAYBE, give us something to discuss….

I’ve told you my opinions previously, at great length, so you know how I feel about these assholes…. What’s your take on any of this, eh?….. The question(s) is(are)….. Will Congress approve this deal? Or, will the money the shadowy corporate lackeys, the lobbyists who inhabit the halls of Congress alongside the legislators, spent on them have been wasted? If the latter, do you think it will matter in the long run?….

Finally, do you agree that the entire entertainment industry, including sports and movies, is merely one of the shadowy corporate masters’ techniques of crowd control, used for the most part to keep the populace quiet and content? …… Come on down, ffolkes, and let’s create an intelligent, stimulating dialogue…. Or, if you prefer, we can just grimace and call each other foul names….

Here the heart
May give a useful lesson to the head,
And Learning wiser grow without his books.

— William Cowper (1731-1800) — The Task, Book vi, Winter Walk at Noon, Line 85

“Me, I love the rich.  *Somebody* has to love them.  Sure, a lot of rich people are assholes, but believe me, a lot of poor people are assholes too. And an asshole with money can at least pay for his own drinks.” — Tom Robbins, “Jitterbug Perfume”
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The poem for today is, as I sit to begin this section, an unsolved mystery…. I’m going to complete section three before I turn to that, so, we could end up with just about ANYTHING today…. I certainly hope so…. I’ll be back in a while, poem in hand (well, on the clipboard, anyway, ready to paste….)….

Yep…. I knew I could count on serendipity…. While searching for the pearls in section three, I realized I know the perfect poem for today’s theme, as it evolved (I’m trying to use that word a lot, to help people learn to accept the idea of things evolving…. maybe the general knowledge of that will leak over onto someone who actually needs it….)…. Any whom, here ’tis…

Bankers Are Just Like Anybody Else, Except Richer

This is a song to celebrate banks,
Because they are full of money and you go into them
and all you hear is clinks and clanks,
Or maybe a sound like the wind in the trees on the hills,
Which is the rustling of the thousand dollar bills.
Most bankers dwell in marble halls,
Which they get to dwell in because they encourage deposits
 and discourage withdrawals,
And particularly because they all observe one rule which woe
betides the banker who fails to heed it,
Which is you must never lend any money to anybody
 unless they don’t need it.
I know you, you cautious conservative banks!
If people are worried about their rent it is your duty
to deny them the loan of one nickel,
yes, even one copper engraving
of the martyred son of the late Nancy Hanks;
Yes, if they request fifty dollars to pay for a baby you must
look at them like Tarzan looking at an uppity ape in the jungle,
And tell them what do they think a bank is, anyhow, they had
better go get the money from their wife’s aunt or ungle.
But suppose people come in and they have a million
and they want another million to pile on top of it,
Why, you brim with the milk of human kindness
and you urge them to accept every drop of it,
And you lend them the million so then they have two million
and this gives them the idea that they would be better off with four,
So they already have two million as security
 so you have no hesitation in lending them two more,
And all the vice-presidents nod their heads in rhythm,
And the only question asked is do the borrowers want the
money sent or do they want to take it withm.
Because I think they deserve our appreciation and thanks,
the jackasses who go around saying that health and happi-
ness are everything and money isn’t essential,
Because as soon as they have to borrow some unimportant money
to maintain their health and happiness they starve
to death so they can’t go around any more sneering at good old money,
which is nothing short of providential.

~~ Ogden Nash ~~

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So, I’ve ranted, enough to suit me, and a poem has yet to be found…. (Remember, I did this section first, before filling in the remainder of section two…. Kind of like being a Time Lord, isn’t it?….) This puts me in a quite dangerous place, to be honest, as I’m liable to do just about anything at this point to get a laugh, or, at minimum, a chortle…. Hell, I’d settle for an amused expression….

One should never trouble a rogue philosopher who has nothing to read or talk about; ’tis a pastime fraught with peril dire, or, dire peril, if you prefer…. If you couldn’t guess, today’s old-school variety pearl is going to concentrate on funny, with humorous being the primary, perhaps only, standard of inclusion…. Let’s see how my own sense of humor is doing, when joined with SB’s dB, shall we?….

“Christian life consists of faith and charity.” — Martin Luther

(What? Not funny? It is, too! Why, I damn near fell out of my chair, laughing so hard I damn-near spewed my last swallow of coffee!!….. Well, I think it’s funny, because, hey, do YOU know any Christians who live like that? Neither do I…..MOSTLY, the Christians I see spouting off about their piety or religion are better described as entitled, selfish, and bigoted, CERTAINLY not charitable toward those not of their “faith”…. I’d wager even Martin Luther had a hard time saying this with a straight face, except, he WAS German, and they’re known world-wide as a dour people in general, often found to be without a sense of humor at all…. Okay, I’m done now….)

“The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a necessity.” — Oscar Wilde

(A bit pessimistic, but perceptive….) (That’s all, I swear…)

“I love cats…they taste just like chicken.” — Bumper Sticker

“God bless Atheism.” — Smart Bee, being a smart ass…

“The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.” — Jane Wagner

“You can’t cheat an honest man; never give a sucker an even break, or smarten up a chump.” — W. C. Fields

General Custer: “Look at all those f%*king Indians” — Famous people swearing…

That will do nicely, I think….. I don’t know about y’all, but, I chortled….
_____________________________

Having thus humiliated myself beyond redemption, I should probably just sign off and go…. In fact, you’re about to witness an unprecedented event, as I take my own advice, and do that…. See you tomorrow, if I don’t just give up altogether…. Don’t worry, that’s not bloody likely….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid the dubious

dozer3

No, no! File the DRY ones first!….

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Ffolkes,

My brain informs me that today we will be taking the day off, at least from any sort of the customarily productive, intellectually stimulating activity that generally occurs here…. This isn’t to say that our usual acts of random idiocy are anything that should, or, for that matter, shouldn’t, be encouraged, or that I believe any of the claptrap that ends up on the screen…. Oh no, far from it…. It merely means that I’m lazy again, and trying desperately to figure out a way to get this done without actually doing any real thinking, an endeavor which, at the moment, hurts considerably….

Hopefully, in my casting about for a suitable opening, I haven’t sprayed any of the dross on your clothing, or offended you in any way; it’s way too early to deal with a lawyer, or hard feelings. Mornings such as these are a trial to me, methinks, mostly because of my sense of honor, and its true companion, integrity, instilled in me by the man who raised me, and not something that I have any choice about…. This honor of which I speak is of the ilk that has always forced me into acting in ways that puzzles many of my contemporaries, as I do things that the general run of folks don’t bother to do….

Like giving an hour’s work for an hour’s pay…. Like paying one’s bills as soon as possible. Like telling the truth, even when it hurts me, or someone else.  Like opening a door, or standing when a lady enters a room. Like taking off one’s hat when going indoors. Like showing respect for those older than me. Like doing all those things that lead one to self-respect; in essence, these acts are those that make one able to look in the mirror in the morning, and meet their own eyes….

Much of our society ignores these simple rules, a truism that has, to my way of thinking, led to many of the serious, life-threatening issues we face in the world today…. To be honorable, one must act in such a way that one’s own self-interests are secondary to whatever is needed to make others comfortable, or safe. Robert Heinlein’s definition of love includes this concept, when it says, “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” When one is capable of extending that love, and/or the actions that go along with it, to the entire world, one may call themselves a gentleman….

It’s really not that hard to do, once one embraces honor and truth as their guidelines for life, making the firm determination to live as a gentleman….. a statement which inspires me, at this point, to include some Art…. I seldom do this sort of thing in the intro, but, today, it seems like the correct thing to do… So, with no further bilge from me, here are the Rules of A Gentleman…. To me, THIS is the blueprint for a life, well lived….
A Gentleman Is
On that note…. Shall we Pearl?…..
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I’ve been lazy lately, as you know, and haven’t written a fresh religirant, or politirant, in days…. I’m also not going to burden y’all today with another long, rambling diatribe against the Asininnies, of all varieties, because, quite frankly, I’m a little burned out, and need to let my brain percolate without having to produce for a time…. As that is the case, we’ll be going old school today, with a few pearls I found over the last few days, all of which take a few nice, healthy swings at the priestly hierarchies, as well as at the numb knees who buy into their delusions…. Enjoy!….

“A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.” — Matz’s Maxim

“A long and wicked life followed by five minutes of perfect grace gets you into Heaven. An equally long life of decent living and good works followed by one outburst of taking the name of the Lord in vain, then have a heart attack at that moment and be damned for eternity. Is that the system?” — Robert A. Heinlein

In English, “I beseech you, my brothers, _remain faithful to the earth_ and believe not those who speak of supernatural hopes. Poisonmongers are they, whether they know it or not. — Nietzsche, “Also Sprach Zarathustra”

“Evolution is as much a fact as the earth turning on its axis and going around the sun.  At one time this was called the Copernican theory; but, when evidence for a theory becomes so overwhelming that no informed person can doubt it, it is customary for scientists to call it a fact.  That all present life descended from earlier forms, over vast stretches of geologic time, is as firmly established as Copernican cosmology.  Biologists differ only with respect to theories about how the process operates.” — Martin Gardner, “Irving Kristol and the Facts of Life”,  — The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, ppg. 128-131

“He who speaks the truth must have one foot in the stirrup.” — Armenian proverb

“Do not be angry with me if I tell you the truth.” — Socrates (470?-399 B.C.)

“Don’t you think you’re a little over reacting?” — Adam to God
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On March 18 of last year, I wrote a long, harsh religirant, with the main target being Mother Theresa, one of the most egregiously sanctimonious assholes of all time, in my opinion…. I’m not in a space right now to show that rant again just now, (though you could find it in the archives with that date in 2013), but, the poem I wrote after being stimulated by the rant isn’t bad at all, so here ’tis, such as it is….

Rejection

“Jesus loves me, this I know,
For the Bible tells me so…”
I’d be crying a river, I thought
if ever such crap I bought.

Sorry if it hurts your sense of style,
but, hypocrisy always gives me bile.
Being lied to accidentally is okay,
deliberate lies make me angry, and quite fey.

Oh, God, hear what I pray!
Keep me from your followers today.
Having to listen to so much that is wrong
makes me puke, before it makes me strong.

I don’t know why it isn’t clear to other folks,
which is alright, you know, different strokes.
But, why should that mean that they must
force me to believe, or fail in trust?

Spare me the lies, and the make-believe,
fairy tales are easier to hear, and to weave.
They give us a lesson which we can feel
but don’t pretend at all to be real.

Reality can scare us, that’s a given fact,
still, met with care it will leave us mostly intact.
Met without fear, standing tall and alone
Life will allow us to make it our own.

Folly beckons, and so many follow
mass delusions seem to me most hollow.
I’ll have to stick to my own chosen way
while so many go so sadly astray.

It’s lonely at times, it may seem sad,
but really isn’t, and I’m quite glad,
that knowledge is always stronger than fear,
year after year, tear after tear…..

~~ gigoid ~~

_____________________________

In keeping with today’s policy of anti-freshness, I offer the following link to an article in the Telegraph, a newspaper from the UK, now publishing online…. This was a photo gallery, with pictures of each of the comedians listed…. I thought it would be a nice little break in routine for around here, to send y’all off to somewhere to find a few smiles…. I’ve included some of my favorite lines below the link, to give an idea of what you’ll find there…. Enjoy, ffolkes, it doesn’t happen often around here….

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/culturepicturegalleries/9594011/30-great-one-liners.html

Groucho Marx (1890-1977): ‘I never forget a face, but in your case I’d be glad to make an exception.’

W.C Fields (1880-1946):’Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.’

Billy Connolly (24 November 1942-): ‘My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.’

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967):  ‘If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.’

Mae West (1893-1980): ‘I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.’

Jay Leno (April 28, 1950-): ‘Politics is just show business for ugly people.’

Ambrose Bierce, author of The Devil’s Dictionary (1842-1913): ‘War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.’
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It’s actually a good thing I didn’t try to write anything original today…. The process of trying to put this whole Pearl together has proved THAT to me indisputably…. I won’t complain, though, because, hey, we’re done, right? Right… See you tomorrow, I hope…. if things improve, there’s a solid chance of it….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

That particular radiologist has a toggle switch…..

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Ffolkes,
Forget the rest…. blessed are the coffee drinkers, for they shall see the day clearly….. before they bite anybody. It’s always a bonus when you can start the day without biting anyone…. Then, of course, there are the days when I WANT to bite somebody, even after coffee. I guess, if I slowed down long enough to look at it, those would be the days when I end up ranting on something or other, to sublimate the urge to bite. But, I never slow down that much, so we’ll never know….

Not that it would make any difference in how this intro got done. I think I’ll just start using up my emergency stash of intro tricks; if nothing else, that will force me to replenish those supplies, which always puts me in a better mood. It must be the part when I stick it to Murphy, the best I can, in order to get them put away where he can’t find them…. Well, actually, it’s a matter of distracting him, and hiding them while he’s busy, thus, he never knows I have them at all. It could be called cheating, but when it comes to Murphy, all bets are off; plus, in my opinion there is no such thing as cheating, not with him. He has no compunctions against cheating on me, so why shouldn’t I return that favor?

So, I guess we’ll use an emergency opening today….. Hmm… let’s see, which one of these won’t leave a mess? Maybe this one…..

Morning, ffolkes! It’s gigoid the exuberant, coming to you from the wilds of Northern California, where the girls are pretty, and the boys are strange. We’ll be spinning a lot of great music for ya today, so settle back in those easy chairs, tighten up them earphones, and let’s spin some licorice pizza for breakfast….. Here’s a little number from Paul Revere and the Raiders, coming at ya from gigoid-land…..

What do you think? Will it float? Will it get me through to another day’s dive? Is there anyone out there? Hello!!!!!…. Hmm. This is worse than I thought…. Well, I guess I’ll just have to go on to the morning dive, and hope that someone shows up along the way….. As usual, this nonsense got me far enough along so that I can legally call it an introduction, so we’ll take it and run with it, at least as far as the corner store…. Shall we Pearl?…..
__________________________________

“The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.” — Vince Lombardi

I have spoken previously on this subject, of human will, and will no doubt do so again, as I believe it to be one of the key elements of finding the Truth in Life. It takes practice to be able to use it to full potential, practice that many people never take time for, to their regret. Without it, Life can be extremely difficult, as it will toss us about just like a small boat in a big storm at sea. But, when it is honed to a sharp edge, and tempered to a great strength, it can become one of our most powerful tools. It can help to bring peace and serenity into our lives, if used with intelligence, guided by strong ethical intent. I mention the latter because it is equally important to the proper use of the will; it is an unfortunate truth that the will can also be used to pursue results that are NOT beneficial for everyone, but only for the one who uses it without ethical direction, i.e. to benefit themselves, only.

“One sits down first, one thinks afterwards.” — Smart Bee

A long time ago, I found out something about society, and those who are ostensibly in charge of running it, that has had a distinct influence on my thinking. I discovered that what I heard in school, from books, did not match what I observed in society, and that the people who were in the positions of authority were, for the most part, not telling the whole truth, or, often, telling bare-faced lies. This had a profound effect on me, because I had always been inspired by the idea of a democracy, a system, and a place, where the people decided among themselves what was best for all; their collective will was to be carried out by the individuals elected to office…. At least, I’m pretty certain that is what our founding fathers envisioned when they cut loose from the monarchical rule of England….

Unfortunately, soon after beginning this experimental Utopia, the bankers started their campaign to pervert the system, buying control of key officials to make laws that favored them. At the same time, the preachers started their campaign to make sure the government was composed of men and/or women who were under their control, ethically and morally, using the time-honored tools of divine entitlement and guilt so that their interests could be monitored and controlled.

Today, well over 90% of all elected officials in this country are of one major religion, and the lobbyists who represent the money-lenders are more influential in making laws than the electorates who elect those officials. The campaigns to control the government have been quite effective, especially since nobody even notices most of the time, or says anything about it….

“To see the light at the end of the tunnel, you first have to be in a tunnel, then the correct tunnel and last, facing in the right direction…. What the heck are we doing in a tunnel anyway?” — Larry G. Smith

This is a pretty good description of modern society, I think. What the heck are we doing here, on the brink of extinction? The BRC, the 1%, whatever you choose to call them, have brought us to this dead-end tunnel, with no light at the end, because it is our own end we see. They, those in control, don’t choose to believe in the damage they have wrought to the environment, nor in the terminal nature of that damage, so, nothing is being done to counteract the suicidal policies our species continues to follow. And it’s all because of the people who have turned their will to the selfish pursuit of their own desires, with no thought to either the effect on others, or the potential danger of doing so. They don’t care, and the rest of us, because of our own lack of will, are going to pay the price right along with them, unless we wake up to the danger, now….

I could rant about this all day, and have seemingly done so in the past…. but, I’ve made my point for today, and rather than bore you to death with more logical, but time-consuming evidence or argument, I’ll leave it at that…. Well, almost….. We are all in danger of species extinction, this is a FACT, not a supposition. We have the means to save ourselves, IF we can find it within ourselves to rise up and throw out the people who are causing the problem. They are NOT going to stop themselves; if we want to live, we, the people, will have to MAKE them do it, or we will all die. It’s that simple, and that urgent…. If it doesn’t happen in this next decade, it will be far too late, because the ice is already melting, ffolkes, and it isn’t going to stop or slow down… It will only get faster with time….

gigoid has spoken…..

“If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.” — Ducharm’s Axiom
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Today’s haiku was prompted by the mild, yet, important rant in section one of today’s Pearl. I don’t have a poem ready to come out, again, so I’ll use an old one, and take the consequences, whatever they may be….. I guess I’m not a real poet, just a hobbyist…. Oh well, c’est la vie….. As every day this month, these are being included as part of the April National Poetry Writing Month Challenge, with the updates to be found here:  http://www.napowrimo.net/    I hope you enjoy them…..

Haiku XVII

Time will tell the tale,
of Man’s fast rise, and long fall.
Soon, just memory.

A Seasonal Approach

Absolute stillness grips a frozen field,
anticipating dawn with such patient yield
morning burgeoning in dark winter’s hold
brings promise of tales yet to be told.

Lengthening days of pale sun unto night
slowly tell of time’s subversive flight
bringing such original songs of natural fire
with melodies complex in casual attire.

The months are certain they will always win
it is just the way it has always been.
None may argue, nor yet slow life down
Nor dim the eternal beauty of nature’s gown.

Winter evolves from fall into spring,
sending flocks and hearts ever awing.
Summer follows suit, t’other way ’round
Spring into fall, often without a sound.

Life is meant to be lived, beginning to end
choices abound, and change can be a friend.
Yielding with grace to reality’s compelling ploy
fills our plain existence with clean, honest joy.

~~ gigoid

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Time now for a return to the days of yore, or fore, whichever comes first in Smart Bee. Having ranted above, if only mildly, I shan’t attempt to keep your interest with yet another foray into critical essay. Besides, it’s time to lighten up a little, so let’s have some fun…. That will be my directing thought today, in picking out today’s old-school group of pearls for your perusal and delectation. I intend to have fun, and so must you…. You simply MUST, or I’ll die…. Well, no I won’t die, but, I’ll be disappointed, and who wants that? Not me….. Enjoy!….

Birth, n.: The first and direst of all disasters. — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

“Don’t worry about your heart. It will last you as long as you live.” — W. C. Fields

“Faith in immortality, like belief in Satan, leaves unanswered the ancient question: is God unable to prevent suffering and thus not omnipotent? or is he able but not willing to prevent it and thus not merciful? And is he just?” — Smart Bee

An it harm none,
Do what ye will.

— The basis of Wiccan philosophy

(1) You can’t win.
(2) You can’t break even.
(3) You can’t even quit the game.

— Ginsberg’s Theorem

Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg’s Theorem. To wit:

(1) Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win.
(2) Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even.
(3) Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the game.

— Freeman’s Commentary on Ginsberg’s theorem

“Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.” — J. R. R. Tolkien

“He was the nearest thing I’d seen to a human being without actually being one.” — Spike Milligan
(A number of recent Presidents come to mind….)

Hmm…. a very eclectic group; no so much funny ha-ha, as funny strange…. They all have something good to say, though, so, it’s kind of like oatmeal…. not always the most thrilling breakfast item to find on your table, but it sure makes ya feel better all day….
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I’m not sure what to think of this one; I’ll have to reserve judgment until I proof it….. I have to say, I think I do better when I’m not paying close attention, like today. My head doesn’t feel as coherent as most of this seems to be… As it is, I have to say, well done, young paduan…. Or, maybe just, not bad, bozo…. Either way, I’m outta here….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Awash in hours of unnamed dreams….

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24

Ffolkes,
Starts with S, ends with T, says howdy in between….. sorry, no, I don’t know where that came from. I know what it says (C’mon, it’s easy…. s_ _t, in between is hi (howdy) = well, you know… )  But, I have no clue as to why it was on the screen when I sat down; I did have a nightcap last night, and I was pretty wiped out tired when I poured it. Maybe I got a burst of inspiration from the whiskey, and put that thought down just before falling into bed; I can see that happening.

But, in my morning state of consciousness, unaffected by the questionable creative urges that the Beast often brings, I haven’t a clue why my mind thought it was either cute enough, or clever enough, to start out the day with. I suppose it will just have to get filed in that folder of things in this universe to which I will never know the answers…..

Now that the initial nonsense is out of the way, REAL panic can set in; my mind is currently a vast, empty plain, without even the saving grace of shiny objects off in the far distance to draw the eye and attention away from the absolutely deafening silence and lack of…. well, anything, to either see, or to write about…..

I may have to resort to an old writer’s trick, of writing about not writing, or writing about the fact that there is nothing to write about….. which confuses me already, and I haven’t even gone there yet…. I’ll keep scouring my brain, something will come up, it always does…. I’ll just go diving, and it’ll be waiting for me when I get back…. that’s the ticket….. see ya in a while….

Practice good mirth control — use a conundrum.

Sorry, an early pearl here…. I’m not going to use it for a discussion, but I like it, a lot, so I’m putting it here, out of the way, where you and I can enjoy its sharp wit, excellent vocabulary, and finely turned phraseology without the distraction of my chatter…. well, we could have, had I not proceeded to chatter anyway…. oh well, onward….

Okay, I’m  done…. let’s go Pearl, before it all gets away from me…. again….
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“I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is.” — Alan Watts

Alan Watts may be one of the least known major influences on modern thought in society today. I first encountered his writings in the late 1960’s when I left home for college at UC Berkeley. It would be hard in one of these short discussions to fully describe the effect of his work on my as yet inexperienced philosophical education. Now, though, many years later, having read the work of many different philosophers, and explored extensively the written tomes of the religions of the world, I can still say that his ideas, and his manner of expressing those ideas, remains high on my list of preferred systems of thought. It is also clear to me after all this time that the content of his work has the highest percentage of concepts that I agree with, unreservedly…..

The statement included above is one of those statements. This is deep, so deep t’is impossible to entirely plumb its depths, without first learning to “breathe water”.  And yet, it is so simple, and so clear, that the most naive and simple man can easily absorb the lesson, and use it in life to his advantage. It is typical, in my mind, of the type of philosophical statement to which Alan was prone, and why he has been a major influence on society, though only a few people can tell you who he is. His knowledge is so penetrating, and his words so simple, and so apt, that one learns lessons while completely unaware of being taught. He knew the secrets of the ancient sages, and lived a life in harmony with the earth, as few in today’s world are capable of living…..
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“A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.” — Matz’s Maxim

Upon reflection, although this is a fine pearl, I’m not going to discuss it now. I’m already tired, so here is my conclusion on this: he’s got a good point. Now, let’s start this section over…..

“A life directed chiefly toward the fulfillment of personal desires sooner or later always leads to bitter disappointment.” — Albert Einstein

Now, there’s a pearl! Albert Einstein is generally regarded as one of mankind’s most brilliant members, but most people do not have the capability to see how or why this is so, other than knowing that he was responsible for E = MC².  But if one takes the time to look past this bit of common knowledge, and look at some of the statements of philosophy and life he is reported to have uttered, it becomes clearer that the key to his genius lay in the simplicity of his thought processes, not in their complexity.

Albert looked at the world, and the universe at large, through eyes that refused to look away from the simple elegance of the underlying nature of reality, instead focusing on the small, basic thoughts, ideas, or physical properties that best described what is real and true.  He also did not add superfluous judgments or unseen factors to what he perceived, instead again focusing on that part of the concept that is important, not those parts that are extraneous to the purpose of increasing understanding of the world around us.  He thus was able to see further into the nature of reality than is common to the rest of us, who are prone to complicate our perceptions with our prejudices and or misconceptions.

The above statement is a perfect example of this quality; it looks directly at human nature, and shows us how our own attitudes and desires can potentially be the cause of our own difficulties in life, thus giving us the opportunity to turn our efforts in a direction that will ultimately be more beneficial. The statement clearly lays the responsibility for the tenor of our lives right in our own laps, where it belongs, but does so without condemnation or insult, merely dispassionate truth. He was truly one of humanity’s greatest treasures, and his words will, hopefully, continue to help guide people through life far into to the future…. provided there is one….. but that’s a different subject altogether…..

“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” — Albert Schweitzer

(I know, I know….. not the right Albert. But, it was deliberate, and I’m just doing what Murphy wants….. as is sometimes common, as soon as I finished the above section, the absolute perfect ending pearl popped up. I think Herr Schweitzer was thinking of Herr Einstein when he related this thought…..  Albert Einstein was a happy guy; I have pictorial proof, which I have shared below…..so there…..)

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When all else fails, blame it on the guy next to you!

Fix the problem, not the blame.

Serendipity…. always a surprise when encountered, yet why should it be? Ah well, just one of those things we’ll never know, thank goodness… Any who…. these two diametrically opposed statements bring to light a particularly egregious, and, sadly, effective method of counter-strategy used extensively by those members of society whose primary goal is power over others. For each and every statement such as the latter, there are probably a hundred like the former, all perpetrated with the single intent of discrediting the value of the attitude expressed therein, for if people begin to handle life’s problematic issues by the second method, it makes it much more difficult to manipulate events to the advantage of the manipulators.

The ubiquitous presence of these lies among the body of common speech is astounding, if for no other reason that most folks never even realize that a) people, especially those in positions of authority, are lying to them consistently, or b) they are being easily manipulated by their willingness to accept these lies as truth. The sociopaths who take advantage of this are perfectly aware of this natural tendency among the human herd to accept what they hear from those in authority, and count on it heavily to assist them in maintaining the facade of their benevolence and good intentions.

Well, if no other way, perhaps it would help if a lot of folks came to realize that these assholes do express good intentions, and we all know where good intentions will lead us, don’t we?….. One may hope…..

“A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.” — W. C. Fields (1880-1946)

See what I mean? How despicable is this? (Very. It will be on the quiz.)  Even the humorists fall into the traps set for them…… and humorists influence society very heavily, reflecting as the do the common mores and attitudes of those they are trying to get to laugh, i.e. all of society….. but, the manipulators are laughing the hardest….
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Data:  “Felus catus.

Is your taxonomic nomenclature
An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature?
Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses
Control your hunting skills and natural defenses.

A bit of whimsy is always appropriate, especially before breakfast. I think my only reason for including this little ditty is to point out that poetry can take many guises, but is nonetheless recognizable in whatever clothing it assumes…. even android clothing, or fur….

Ae fond kiss, and then we sever!
A farewell, and then forever!
Deep in heart-wrung tears I’ll pledge thee,
Warring sighs and groans I’ll wage thee.
Who shall say that Fortune grieves him,
While the star of hope she leaves him?
Me, nae cheerful twinkle lights me,
Dark despair around benights me.
— Robert Burns, Ae Fond Kiss

And then, again, there is the clothing of old masters…..
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“I am rich beyond the dreams of avarice.” — Edward Moore (1712-1757) — The Gamester, Act ii, Sc. 2

In the movie Star Trek IV, The Voyage Home, during a scene in which Dr. McCoy and Mr. Scott are trying to convince a plastics engineer to produce the needed walls for their whale aquarium, Bones uses a small paraphrase of the above line, to inflame the imagination of the engineer by appealing to his innate sense of greed. It was a brilliant piece of movie making, and a brilliant line. (Pretty well acted too; the light that came into the engineer’s eyes when he thought of all that money was priceless, along with the perfectly faux innocent sly look on his face….)  It’s one of my favorite scenes from the movie, a cult classic for true Trekkies, but I had never heard, or seen, the line before, and thus did not know who the author might be.

This morning, when I came across this while searching for the last pearl of the day, a huge smile, and feeling of completion, stole across my face and being, and I knew that all would be right with the world today…. well, maybe that’s a bit optimistic, but I sure feel better, knowing the name of the person responsible for such a beautiful phrase. I’m not sure in which philosophical direction it points, not having the context of the rest of the play to study (though I now may do so, at my leisure). But, if I choose to believe it comes from the concept of being rich because of how well loved and filled with joy is my life, and not from the concept of actually amassing monetary wealth, then it is absolutely a piece of literature for the ages….in the category of Truth and Beauty…..
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Well, that went better than I had expected, but I guess that is a natural outcome of having expectations; the percentage chances of being right diminish the more we entertain them ahead of the due process of reality. In short, it’s what I get for being a git…..  Nonetheless, how this has turned out is fine with me, so I’m going to send it off to cyberspace with my blessings. Y’all take care out there….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!


Penguins are never quite sober……

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2

Ffolkes,
From a purely subjective viewpoint (which, if you think about it, is all we really have) I am not a crook…..no, wait, that’s for another group. Okay, try this….from a purely subjective viewpoint, people suck major waste. They create major waste, too, but it doesn’t fit the image I’m creating. No, really, I mean, how hard can it be to be nice to each other? But, noooooo, people have to piss all over each other on a regular basis, as if they didn’t know any better.

That’s what really gets me about most of what goes on in the world at large; people do know what is right, and they just refuse to do it. They would rather lie, cheat, and steal from their fellow man, just because they think they can. It’s enough to make a strong man turn to drink, and send a weak one to the grave. There are days when I am glad I’m currently stuck here at home a lot; it keeps me from having to go out and deal with the great unwashed masses too often. Such interactions tend to be bloody, and I don’t need to get summoned to court to answer why I was beating that young man to death with his own leg…… I’d best dive in before I commit perjury or something…..
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Creation sleeps! ‘T is as the general pulse
Of life stood still, and Nature made a pause,–
An awful pause! prophetic of her end.
— Edward Young (1684-1765) — Night Thoughts, Night i, Line 23

Mr. Young seems to have been feeling a bit prophetic himself. If we consider this to have been written halfway through his life, then it was created somewhere around 1720, just the very beginning of the Industrial Age, when mankind first left the path of sustainability. The sky was still unrelieved blue, the waters were clean, and the sunsets were still the same colors they had been for a million years.

By the end of the century, London, and a few other cities of its size around the world, were beginning to see the first effects of pollution, with a rise in such diseases as TB, cancer, and respiratory complications, and the disappearance of a multitude of water-living creatures due to the poisons being dumped into the Thames.  Between the fireplace in every house, the trains, and the factories now blotting the horizon in all directions, the air in London was practically unbreathable at times, until Mother Nature took pity and sent some higher winds or rain to give them a break. One of the most lucrative of employments was that of window-washer, as it only took a day or two for a window to gather so much dirt and smoke as to be impenetrable to light or sight.

This phenomenon was not confined to London, and by the end of the next century, in 1900, the planet was starting to reel under the assault of particulate matter being pumped into the environment by the industrious little parasites crawling over its surface, still reproducing without restraint, oblivious to the harm they cause, merely by being born. The pollution not only continued, but increased by factors of 10 regularly, until, at the end of the twentieth century, we have reached a point of no-return.

The planet’s capability of dealing with what is poured into it is reaching a critical flash point; within the next century, it is a certainty that major environmental events will occur, as the planet begins to slough off the poisons we have created. The polar ice caps are melting and shrinking, at a rate which will only grow faster exponentially; as time goes on, it will increase at an ever-increasing rate, a rate that will effectively halt any more pollution by us, as we will be busy trying to survive the earthquakes, floods, famine, wars over food and clean water, unpredictable extreme weather, and other phenomena we cannot predict. These are merely the ones we KNOW will happen.

So, how do we survive? We don’t. As far as I can see, it’s too late; not enough time left for us to fix what we’ve broken.  Deal with it. Mankind has signed its own death warrant, and there is no court of appeal. We will join the dodo, the saber-tooth tiger, and T-Rex in the ranks of evolutionary dead-ends, another failed experiment.

The only way that this won’t happen, is if one of two things happens, soon, like yesterday: 1) The beloved ruling class comes to its senses, and stops trying to control everything to their own benefit, immediately begins to take steps to discontinue the destructive mind-set they have, and learns to share, or 2) The rest of us rise up and force them to do that, in spite of their stupidity and greed. I suppose those two things are actually one, but the point is that nothing else will work. There is no other way to survive. The people in charge MUST make these changes, or we are all going to die, not with a bang, but with a whimper and a cry of despair……
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“Emily Dickinson didn’t even publish books, she just wrote these demented little poems with a quill pen and hid them in her desk, but they still fought their way into the world, and lasted on and on and on. It’s damned hard to get rid of Emily Dickinson, she hangs on like a tick in a dog’s ear. And everybody who writes from then on in some sense has to measure up to this woman. In the art of book-writing the classics are still living competition, they tend to elevate the entire art-form by their persistent presence.” — Bruce Sterling

Mr. Sterling makes a valid point here. I have noted this feeling in myself, particularly after reading some Oscar Wilde, or Hemingway, or Poe, some Mark Twain, or Dorothy L. Sayers, Bob Heinlein, or Arthur C. Clark (yes, I know, very eclectic. I prefer to call it psychotic…) Just a couple days ago, I commented on this over a phrase from the pen of Mr. Wilde, of such great beauty it beckons like a lighthouse in a dark, moonless night at sea. I can only hope that my attempts at emulating the luminaries, like Emily and Oscar, elevate my art to a level approaching theirs……
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In the worlds before monkey, primal chaos reigned.   Heaven sought order, but the Phoenix can fly only when its feathers are grown.  The four lands formed again and yet again, as endless eons wheeled and passed.  The wind, time and later (??) all worked upon a certain rock, old as creation, and it became magically fertile.  That first egg was called ‘thought.’  Tagahatha (??) Buddha, the Father Buddha says, ‘with our thoughts, we make the world.’  Elemental forces caused the egg to hatch.  From it came a stone monkey.  The nature of monkey was IRREPRESSIBLE!

I found this gem without attribution, so I don’t know who to thank for it; it’s delightful, if only for its sense of fun. Irrepressible indeed! Plus, in certain ways, it is as logical and plausible as the claims made by some of the other religions floating around out there, isn’t it? The logical procession it displays is almost believable, and the mixing of myth, magic, and reality shows a mastery of both logic and its antithesis, intuition.

Living as I do in California, I could say with complete confidence that there is most likely one or more alleged “churches” in Southern California whose tenets of faith resemble this paragraph quite closely. Probably one with a fast-growing congregation, all of whom drive BMW’s or VW beetles. Those who don’t ride donkeys, that is…..
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Calvin: People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. Hobbes: Isn’t your pants’ zipper supposed to be in the front?  — Calvin (Bill Watterson, “Calvin and Hobbes”)

A fine example of how all of us are our own best source for laughter. As a matter of fact, it reminds me of several occasions in my own life in which I held this conversation in my own head, with myself playing both parts. SIGH….. gotta say, though, Calvin and Hobbes is the best cartoon to come along in a long time; sometimes it seems as if Doonesbury is the only really witty one left. Ah, for the days of Pogo, and Odds Bodkins!  Bloom County was also great, but way too short-lived. Hopefully, we will always have at least one cartoonist to help us stay sane when reading the news…..

“Creation is a mighty joke, but the laugh is at my own expense.” — Meher Baba
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“The basis of action is lack of imagination. It is the last resource of those who know not how to dream.” — Oscar Wilde

Sometimes Oscar cracks me up…..this, for example, produced a quick sardonic grin on my face, immediately followed by the thought “that sounds like something W.C. Fields might have said when he was soused”, which was most of the time, if one can believe of him what he so arduously sought to have others believe. Maybe that tenuous self-confidence, that almost shyness, made so obvious in the outer persona of each of them, by the very volume of the oddness, or uniqueness they espoused as a public figure, is what reminds me one of the other.

Both tried very hard to have others believe of them more than they thought of themselves; it seems to me that is what gave them purpose, for without it, the darker, depressive sides of their nature tended to drag them into emotional bogs. Probably why one drank so much, and one chose a more convoluted path to self-destruction, both men’s wit and imagination, and inner-terror, acting as methods of coping with a world that would never really understand them…..
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Whew….that took awhile; close to three hours this morning, and haven’t even looked at email yet; I’m falling further behind as I type, but what are ya gonna do when it flows? Go with it, obviously….. any who, let’s go see what the rest of the world is up to, shall we?….Y’all take care out there…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

Vicious Huns in the parlor….

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4

Ffolkes,
I can tell already that today is going to be one of those days. Nothing creative is stirring anywhere in my mind, and I’ve been up long enough that I’ve searched in every nook and cranny. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Bupkus extreme……I guess it’s just gonna have to be a quick punt. Okay…..Pungent flowery scents assault the senses while vines of sickly green drip viscous poisons to catch the unwary. Dark shadows play in the far corners, and an eerie sound of clashing, discordant music insinuates its’ way into your consciousness, bringing powerful memories of battles lost. From further on down the path comes a large, black dog, holding a live snake in his jaws; he stops, dips once in a bow, and drops the snake at your feet. The dog sits, and says, “So, you wanted to see where dreams go when you wake up, eh? Well, you will learn now…..follow me.” At your feet the snake has coiled into a striking position, and hisses angrily. No longer certain even of who you are, much less where, you carefully step around the snake, and set out after the dog, who has headed further into the darkness ahead. Suddenly a curtain of glass beads is in front of you, and following the dog, you step through into a small room, occupied only by an old woman, who laughs uproariously until tears  stream down her face. Composing herself with difficulty, she looks at you and says, “You want fries with that?”……
Saved once again by nonsense. We can now proceed onward to the regularly scheduled program…..

“The next best thing to doing something smart is not doing something stupid.” — Flo Capp’s Observation

“Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.'”– W. C. Fields

“Morality is truth in full bloom.” — Victor Hugo

“It was a dark and stormy night.” — A wrinkle in time, by Madeline L’Engle, 1962 — you were thinking Snoopy, perhaps?

“You can stand me up at the gates of Hell, but I won’t back down.”–T.Petty (This is a good attitude to hold on to……)

“Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. All through history, mankind has been bullied by scum. Those who lord it over their fellows and toss commands in every direction and would boss the grass in the meadow about which way to bend in the wind are the most depraved kind of prostitutes. They will submit to any indignity, perform any vile act, do anything to achieve power. The worst off-sloughings of the planet are the ingredients of sovereignty. Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy the whores are us.” — P.J. O’Rourke, _Parliament of Whores_

Amen to that……it’s going to be a long day, with beautiful weather and uncertain possibilities…..I suppose I’d best be at it. Y’all take care out there……

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!