Reason to be aloof….


“Everything in excess!
To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites.
Moderation is for monks.”

~~ Lazarus Long, from Robert A. Heinlein’s “Time Enough For Love” ~~

ketchikan early

Ketchikan, Alaska, before the invasion….

Hajime…. In my experience, the most difficult part of the continued presence of PTSD in my life is what occurred yesterday. I call it SOD, or, sudden onset depression, a euphemistic acronym, which makes it sound all official and clean, when, in truth, it’s a dirty fucking mess. I’ll be cruising along, & will see, or hear, or experience some sort of stimulus, the nature of which is always unclear before it shows itself. This time, I saw a picture/story on FB, about an abused animal, & before I knew it, tears were flowing down my cheeks, and my mood plummeted into the depths….

Not a happy time, especially since it coincided with the onset of some pretty heavy pain. Go figure, eh? Murphy had a field day with me yesterday; he’ll be gloating for months. And I? I have spent the last 24 or so hours in a deep funk, fighting my way toward some light, only to find myself still grumpy and feeling mean today. Leelu and I are at odds, and I can’t find it in me to bring myself to any sort of quiet, safe harbor, where I could at least look for my center, with some hope of finding it. I tell ya, ffolkes; this ain’t no fun….

I did write a poem while in the throes of misery; I can’t say how it will seem, but, it sure is an accurate description of how I felt at the time, so, we’ll let it stay, & call it confession, which, they say, is good for the soul. I’ll have to take their word for it, as confession has always seemed like a cop-out to me, a way to avoid taking responsibility. But, that’s just me, and, if it helps get this done today, I’ll take it.

I’ll help myself, too, I guess, by ceasing this litany of woe, in favor of getting on with today’s mess. It’s a typical Pearl, but, with some rather ‘different’ material with which to contend; I’d suggest an adult beverage, or good strong coffee, preferably Irish, at minimum. The rest of y’all should think about insurance. Me, I’m going to just get on with this, so, I can go to my room and pout…. Let’s get it done….

Shall we Pearl?….

He said, “Dance for me” and he said,
“You are too beautiful for the wind
To pick at, or the sun to burn.” He said,
“I’m a poor tattered thing, but not unkind
To the sad dancer and the dancing dead.”

~~ Sidney Keyes, “Four Postures of Death” ~~



Damn! That’s one big cowboy!

Image from via Google Images

After my dad retired from the US Army, we moved to a small town in central California, where raising cattle, and/or, growing alfalfa to feed cattle, were the primary industries. As might be imagined, they listened to a lot of country & western music. I spent much of my teen years at dances where the mix of music ran from the Doors, to the Stones, to the Beatles, and, to this band, who have long been an iconic western swing band. It’s straight out, down-home Texas style swing, ffolkes. Lots of twang, but some of the best dancing music to be found… The picture sucks, but the sound’s pretty good….. Enjoy!….


Asleep At The Wheel





“Six mistakes mankind keeps making century after century:
Believing that personal gain is made by crushing others;
Worrying about things that cannot be changed or corrected;
Insisting that a thing is impossible because we cannot accomplish it;
Refusing to set aside trivial preferences;
Neglecting development and refinement of the mind;
Attempting to compel others to believe and live as we do.”

~~ Cicero ~~

We the People...

“A power has risen up in the government greater than the people themselves, consisting of many and various and powerful interests, combined into one mass, and held together by the cohesive power of the vast surplus in the banks.” — Johann L. Uhland (1787-1862) — Speech, May 27, 1836

For several days now, I’ve been saving this quote for a rant. Naturally, the intended targets are those assholes who have managed to establish a world-wide oligarchy, which is busy destroying the world as we know it, in complete ignorance of anything that doesn’t serve their narcissism. While pondering the issue, I was brought down, down to the ground, by the sudden onset of depression. This, as you may imagine, rather killed whatever rant was brewing. To sublimate for today, here is an old school pearl, which covers most of what I might have said. I hope you enjoy this ‘savior’ pearl, which has saved you from yet another rant by gigoid…. I’ll even add an extra pearl at the end, from one of the first philosophers to take shots at the concept of government…. Enjoy!….

From 8/9/2012:

Since I have already ranted, I’ll save you from another right away by giving this old school pearl…. These quotations all point in the same direction, and will lead eventually to yet another fine reason to mistrust the beloved ruling class…..

Then came the churches,
then came the schools,
then came the lawyers,
then came the rules.

~~ Mark Knopfler ~~

“A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.” — Oscar Wilde, “The Picture of Dorian Grey”, 1891

“People are always talking about tradition, but they forget we have a tradition of a few hundred years of nonsense and stupidity, that
there is a tradition of idiocy, incompetence and crudity.” — Hugo Demartini, in “Contemporary Artists”, 1977

“People are very open-minded about new things — as long as they’re exactly like the old ones.” — Charles F. Kettering

The Government is my shepherd, I shall not work. It maketh me to lie down on good jobs. It leadeth me beside the still factories. It destroyeth my initiative; It leadeth me in the paths of the parasite for politics sake; Yea, though I walk in the valley of Deficit Spending, I will fear no evil, For the Government is with me; its doles and its vote-getters they comfort me. It prepareth an Economic Utopia for me by appropriating the earnings of my grandchildren. It filleth my head with baloney, my inefficiency runneth over; Surely the Government shall care for me all the days of my life And I shall live in a Fool’s Paradise forever. — The Government’s 23rd Psalm

“By definition, a government has no conscience. Sometimes it has a policy, but nothing more.” — Albert Camus

“No matter how you vote, a government still gets elected.” — Smart Bee

That should about do it, I think….. if nothing else, one may get a clear picture of how I feel about government…..

Note from the future; here’s your bonus round, to finish off our indictment of the BRC….

“… But when he [the people’s champion] has disposed of foreign enemies by conquest or treaty, and there is nothing to fear from them, then he is always stirring up some war or other, in order that the people may require a leader.” — Plato (428-348? B.C.), “The Republic”



What the fuck is this?

Insanity waits patiently for me, sitting
in the corner, quietly knitting a psyche knot,
for my throat.

Depression is sitting on the couch, close
by the window, sulking over a broken pot;
he broke it.

Loneliness dogs my solitude, madly barking
into my left ear, while I trot,
half-heartedly, at best.

All my old friends have come to visit today;
a party, at which I was not
wanted, nor invited, .

What if I just ignore them all, I think;
even if it never worked before.
Oh, well.

The darkness fills the day, then carries into night,
until time has passed, until it feels just right.
No peace, no common dreams of light,
no escape, nor safety in flight.

Even poetry hurts.

~~ gigoid ~~




Naked Pearls

Obscurely Subtle


“He took his vorpal sword in hand
Long time the manxom foe he sought
Till rested he by the tumtum tree
And stood awhile in thought”

~~ Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll ~~


“You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.”

~~ The Little Prince, chapter XXI ~~


“The supreme triumph of reason is to cast doubt upon its own validity.”

~~ Miguel de Unamuno ~~


“When you drink the water, remember the spring.”

~~ Chinese Proverb ~~


“If you are distressed by anything external,
the pain is not due to the thing itself,
but to your own estimate of it;
and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”

~~ Marcus Aurelius ~~


“Entropy requires no maintenance.”

~~ Amanda Walker ~~


“It is in the shelter of each other that people live.”

~~ Irish proverb ~~


“When friends ask, there is no tomorrow.”

~~ Ancient Human Proverb ~~


“What happens to your fist when you open your hand?”

~~ Zen Buddhism ~~



I’m a crazy old fart, I guess. (The fact I am sitting here, weeping as if my dog died yesterday seems like rather conclusive proof to me….) But, I’m happy-go-lucky, too, so, that’s something. I’ll be back tomorrow, ffolkes. I’ll offer no opinions of how that might look, nor any assurances of any sort of quality literature. But, I’ll be here, with a Pearl for your perusal. You see, THIS is what brings me back from the edge. This is what saves my sorry ass from ending up in jail, or dead…..What you have seen today is what keeps me from taking the bit between my remaining teeth, hoisting Henry’s black flag, and slitting the nearest throats. Believe it. So, I’ll see y’all tomorrow; it’s more important than you know…. to me…..

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest Carole, Mark,Theresa, & Richy
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid, the dubious

The *only* duly authorized Computer Curmudgeon.


“SCRAM!!!!!!!!!!”- Oscar the Grouch

À bientôt, mon cherí….


23 thoughts on “Reason to be aloof….

  1. Damn good poem…..I can sympathize with you there are times when something gets to me also….sympathy? My grandfather told me if I am looking for sympathy then try the dictionary…between shit and syphilis…LOL

    Ever heard to the Texas Playboys? Cowboy swing I believe it is called….hope you are doing better today….see ya later my friend….chuq

    • Thanks, my friend. I’m working on getting to somewhere better, so, I’ll get there eventually.

      I have heard of the Playboys, and, their band leader, Bob Wills, who was THE iconic Texas swing dude…

      I’ll be by later, I hope… We’ll see; this is a pretty deep hole. I gotta stop digging…



  2. It’s precisely 6 O’ Clock
    Central Time over here in
    the Florida Panhandle.. and
    i’ve got a few here while the
    next 196 photos down load
    to my next blog
    post that WiLL
    only be 13K
    words Long
    thank goodness
    as that WiLL fit in
    two Facebook Statuses..
    easy for a free online hard
    drive for additional back up..
    as yes.. it can be lots of work to
    do that.. but.. yeah.. the human mind
    and body.. a complex machine of highs
    and lows and color grey scales of hues
    in shades ‘tween ReaLITy and otherwise
    of perceiving what we FeeL and SensE iS
    real… but as always to Feel
    and Sense at all even pain
    to the extremest pain
    for me.. is always
    worth more than
    the other place
    liVing as nothing
    at all.. beyond all
    senses and feelings too..
    funny when i write tHeRe is a SonG
    and rhythm more than words as music and
    a beat and a way of river Streaming to aLLa
    Ocean Whole Free.. effortless and smooth
    the hypnosis of the words flow free.. where
    ever she goes now.. it just flows and flows
    wHere the ZonE is as is with zero worries
    now.. yeah brother.. i know what ya mean..
    and this Autism can kinda be rough
    as those nicknames like Ma for
    folks who are not actually
    my mother or brother for
    those who are not
    officially the brother
    i never had just make it
    so much easier to call most
    everyone FriEnd as that fits the
    Bill of all technically.. literally and
    metaphorically the TrUth and liGht
    the sAMe.. yeah.. i got this trUth barometer
    set on hiGh since the earliest days it seems..
    alWays checking if it is all correct or not..
    now.. so sure.. when i noW talk about
    maGiC iT is reAlly internal science
    and even noW.. mystery schools of
    esotericism too.. wHere essence
    is real over form.. and as long as i
    can FeeL and SensE essence now
    the scientist of Art stays comfortable
    now with what iS.. anyway that Pieces
    of 8 Song haunted me when i played
    it on the Grand Piano in College the
    Years of Learning alWays something new..
    my bRain young.. alert.. focused like a
    Super BRain too.. not much for output
    but a swirling Hurricane sink taKinG iN
    the moisture of aLL to lEarn.. and when
    i thInk about folks like me just taKing advantage
    of what the biggest library ever dreamed of that is
    all of the Internet now.. i see great things ahead for
    humankind that have never been dreamed before as
    there is a synergy of all the human beings working toGeTHeR
    in sharing and giving ways in terms of close to a Billion or however
    many actually have reasonable access to it all.. but wHere this baby
    goes next.. is a totAlly new experiment that has never even been dreamed
    before in terms of Total Human potential toGeThEr WorKinG as onE noW huge
    THINK AND BODY BALANCinG Tank of humanity as global whole.. strange
    that this did all happen close to all those Mayan Calendar events so hyped
    up in the media for years before that calendar number did come.. but
    it matters not.. what the form is.. as long as someone takes action
    and great consequence of positive allone.. anyWay.. my friEnd..
    hope your depression gets better as i kNow at the very bottom
    of the Barrel that even demons.. if they existed in super
    natural way would not dare to tread.. IS A place
    that i for one kNow one can come back
    uP to LiFE for sure.. no matter
    how deep the ashes.. theRE
    must be.. i thInk and FeeL
    noW a way out for
    most as i what
    i fELt waS impossible
    did come trUe iN liGht
    aWay from Dark mY FriEnd..:)

    • Friend Fred…

      Nice…. I had to bail last night before reading this. Still somewhat lost, but, I’ve got the center in sight, so, I’ll get back to “normal” eventually…. hopefully sometime today. Getting today’s Pearl done helped, even if it’s a throw-together version….

      I’ll see ya ’round the net, bro….


      gigoid, aka Ned

  3. Hi Ned.. Hope you’re feeling a little better – even a LOT better, my man!
    Wish we could reach inside and pull out all that hurts (the brain, I mean)… and yet….
    Thinking of you… ❤

    • Thanks, Carolyn; it will pass. It always does; the trick is to live through it again… It helps having my blogging friends, such as yourself, come by & offer their good wishes… The toughest part of this is to be alone, and, knowing ffolkes are out there, & care, helps immensely…


      gigoid, aka Ned

  4. Reblogged this on gigoid and commented:


    Having spent rather more time walking, & less time writing, than is either usual, or, preferable for me yesterday, I can only say, I’m still not feeling guilty over it, AND, there is still no fresh Pearl. I did spend a few moments this morning searching out this one to reblog. It’s from about a year & a half ago, at the tail-end of my time in Hell of another’s making (damn shamans!….), which came out well, & includes one of my best poetic efforts…not because it’s comfortable, or necessarily great… but, it’s defines, to me, what poetry IS when done right…. At any rate, it’s all there, & should keep y’all happy until I can get something fresh put together… possibly for tomorrow morning. For now, I’m off on more walkabout, but, will spend some time today online to try a bit of catch-up, both writing, and reading blogs…. Perhaps I’ll even make a snarky comment or two, here and there….

    Y’all keep up the strange; even if you don’t know it, it’s the best thing you can do. So, go ahead & practice your weird, and go forth, committing random acts of kindness and generosity to the world at large…. It throws ’em off your scent…. See ya soon….

    gigoid, the dubious


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