Surviving a near-death experience somehow makes the day go by a little more quickly, it seems. Why, look! Here it is, a little past midnight on another sleepless night, and I’ve already been nearly dead, only talking myself out of allowing myself to die because it simply would have been too embarrassing to have been found in the position in which I was almost destined to succumb. Fortunately, my breath was so bad, and I was laughing so damn hard, Death’s Handmaiden wouldn’t kiss me, so I had to get up and carry on…

I know that isn’t the most detailed or illuminating passage; ‘s okay, it wasn’t intended to be. Here is where I tell you what happened, so we can get on with the rest of this mess. First, let me stamp your papers, then we won’t have to do it later. Good, just line up over there and let the scanner pass over the bar code attached to your forehead at the gate. Thank you for your cooperation and sheepleness….

Okay, obligatory insult’s done…. Here’s what happened: Leelu the Magicat performed an act of extraordinary skill, bravery, and nobility (I kid you not: I’ve got graphic proof…). It seems I’ve been adopted by a five-month old cat superhero/sorceress/warrior princess, all rolled into one. To reward her for her act of selflessness, I began to play with her, throwing her favorite old chewed up piece of crumpled paper for her to fetch.

Because my shoulder was stiff, I made a terrible throw, which disappeared near some furniture, hidden well enough she couldn’t puzzle out where it ended up, though she’s usually good at that. I went to see, and saw it had, ironically enough, found it’s way into the most inaccessible spot in the room, behind a chair, and a table, with a box in the way, right in the corner of the room. I had to laugh at my own bozoid throw, as I was in a LOT of pain, and retrieving it was bound to be difficult…. Sure enough, getting down to stretch out where I could reach it put me in a very odd position, and I began to laugh even harder, feeling the irony and ridiculousness of my position….

Then, I had another vision, of having a heart attack where I was, from laughing so hard, and being found there, in that absurd position, into which I’d gotten myself to play with a cat. I know autopsy techniques are sophisticated enough to show I had died from laughing, so, the whole world would probably hear about, and laugh themselves silly at the bozoid nature of my demise. That vision made me laugh so damn hard, I almost fulfilled it…. Only the sheer fear of that embarrassment kept me from choking right there, killed by my own stupidity.

There, that should get the day begun on the correct note. Always good to start with a keen appreciation of the depths of foolishness we can encounter in this reality, I find. Well, sometimes I find it; other times, not so well. Well enough today, though, we can skip all the normal foolishness, of which we have a nearly never-ending supply, to get on down the page to find out what Leelu did…. Guido’s still on duty; something’s up with Luigi…. Any who, he’ll get us to the beds on time, if we let him get going, so….. have a seat, & we’ll be on our way…..

Shall we Pearl?….

“It is one of the commonest of mistakes to consider that the limit of our power of perception is also the limit of all there is to perceive.” — C. W. Leadbeater

As I paced around yesterday, in the afternoon, I noticed Leelu staring oddly, with some focused fixation, at a spot near the wall on the kitchen floor. She watched it a while, when it struck me what I was seeing…. which you will see below, as corroboration of my tale…. You see, some of us cat people (Personally, I am both a cat AND dog person, but, I digress…. ) have known for a long time cats have unusual mental powers, which they use  to protect our plane of existence, from attacks by nightmare creatures from other dimensions. Many millennia ago, in Egypt, Bastet gave all cats these powers as a gift to the planet’s creatures.

Cats can open, or close wormholes between the universes; this is how they can appear and disappear at will, often seemingly while looking right at them. Remember the actual true solution to the puzzle of Schrödinger’s Box; when the box is opened, the cat is neither dead, nor alive; it is gone. When they sense a wormhole opening, they watch to make sure no demons/nightmares get through before they can close it….

See? Now, wasn’t that better than a rant….. Definitely less stress on the keyboard…. and, I hope you enjoyed it…. Just wait until I figure out how to upload videos from my camera…. won’t that be fun?

Leelu thinks so…. but, then, there isn’t much she doesn’t think is fun…. See ya….

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Not too shabby for a long-term throw-together Pearl; I’ve certainly done worse. It gives me some hope for tomorrow, no matter how illogical that may be. Moreover, it allows me to once again say, see y’all tomorrow, ffolkes. I’ve already made the reservations….