Monthly Archives: August 2011

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you….Mr. Potato Head

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Ffolkes,

It’s going to be hot today; when we get up and there is no fog, it means the planetary air conditioning has been turned off. You may as well turn on your fans right now. I’ve found that for fans, a little seductive whisper and stroking of the on/off button will get them turned on very quickly. Funny, to look at them one wouldn’t guess that they would be romantics, but there you go. You just never know with small machinery what will do the trick; they take on some pretty human characteristics after being around us for awhile. I used to have a toaster that would throw the bread all the way to the sink if you pushed down too hard on the handle; she had to be gently moved into position before she would work correctly, and praised the whole time she was warming up. Inanimate objects sure can be finicky, can’t they?….. How about y’all, do you have any stories about stubborn appliances? I know I’m not the only one who has to talk to them to get them to work……

Today starts a new era; I’ll be submitting my first piece to Textbroker.com, and from now on should be able to pull in at least a modest income, which will make all the difference in my anemic budget. I’m hoping it’s as much fun as it looks like it will be. We’ll see….meantime here is a very pointed group of pearls, chosen for their part in the gestalt of the group. As is usual, the point is left as an exercise for the Gentle Reader…..there will be a quiz, but it will not count against the final grade in the course……

Dust is an armor of poor quality.

I have but three enemies: fear, anger, ignorance.

“It is inconceivable that a judicious observer from another solar system would see in our species — which has tended to be cruel, destructive, wasteful, and irrational — the crown and apex of cosmic evolution. Viewing us as the culmination of *anything* is grotesque; viewing us as a transitional species makes more sense — and gives us more hope.” — Betty McCollister, “Our Transitional Species”, — Free Inquiry magazine, Vol. 8, No. 1

“Before you criticize people, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’ve got a mile-long head start. And you have their shoes.” — The Lion

“Individuality seems to be Nature’s whole aim — and she cares nothing for individuals.” — Goethe

“If you want to know all about the sea,  you go and ask a sailor, or a marine biologist, or an oceanographer, and they can tell you a lot about the sea. But if you go and ask the sea itself, what does it say? Grumble, grumble, swish swish. It is too busy being itself to know anything about itself.” — Ursula K. LeGuin

If, after reading the above, you do not have a better idea of where you fit into the scheme of things, well, too bad. There’s always tomorrow…y’all take care out there……

Sometimes I sits and thinks,

and sometimes

I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

A different sort of hermaphrodite….

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Ffolkes,
This is definitely a different sort….it floats. Of course if it didn’t we’d just have to find one, or fix one, that would show the same characteristic. It’s a dirty, lonely job, but somebody has to hate it, so why not us? It’s not as if they aren’t paying us well, right?…..And if it was so bad we couldn’t take it, it would just fall to someone who didn’t know the right way to hold one. So let’s have no more nonsense; just get in there and grab it by the toe and start twisting…..right? Alright then…..
The foregoing was brought to you with support from a grant by a local drug dealer with delusions of adequacy. He’s trying to buy his way into respectable society; we don’t think he’ll ever be accepted, but that is no reason we can’t take his money, since we’re doing something about all the lost souls he creates. We turn them into body slaves for sick old men and women who have never been treated for their bipolar disorder. It’s just another public service that we don’t much talk about, because it’s embarrassing to have everyone fawning over us. People sometimes have no dignity…….
Okay, enough fooling around, let’s get down to some serious literature……well, I guess we would, if I could think of something serious. Somehow this morning my brain is refusing to wrap itself around anything too heavy; hence the above two short paragraphs of…….hmm, well of whatever they are. Can’t seem to come up with a description, which isn’t surprising; it’s pretty far out in left field. I suppose we should come in out of the cold now, so with no further ado, I give you today’s Pearls of Virtual Wisdom. Remember to wash up afterward…..

“I once wanted to save the world. Now I just want to leave the room with dignity.” — Lotus Weinstock  (I can definitely relate…..)

“Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum — “I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.” — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

“He who has a WHY to live for can bear with almost any HOW.” — F. Nietzsche

“Just as a cautious businessman avoids investing all his capital in one concern, so wisdom would probably admonish us also not to anticipate all our happiness from one quarter alone.” — Sigmund Freud”Just as a cautious businessman avoids investing all his capital in one concern, so wisdom would probably admonish us also not to anticipate all our happiness from one quarter alone.” — Sigmund Freud

“Genius is not a possession of the limited few, but exists in some degree in everyone. Where there is natural growth, a full and free play of faculties,  genius will manifest itself.” — Robert Henri

” — Bother!” said Pooh.  “Eyeore, ready two photon torpedoes and lock phasers on the Heffalump; Piglet, meet me in transporter room three.”

So, I’m going to end on that note, and head down to the transporter room to see them off. Y’all take care out there……

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.gigoid

Dozer at play..

Kowabunga!

Allegory puts the baby to sleep….

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Ffolkes,
Since it’s Sunday, I slept in, and it felt good. It’s nice to be able to get up with a little energy instead of fighting to get my eyes open. Unfortunately, it seems that being bright and bushy-tailed doesn’t guarantee there will be something good to write popping up into the forefront of the old brain. Just getting three lines has been torturous…….well, I suppose that even I cannot expect compliance from the universe; it really doesn’t care. So I will just depend on the strength of today’s Pearls to carry the weight today; It’s a good group, with two by Tom Jefferson, whose views have always appealed to me; his writings always seem to express what has been in my mind, sometimes eerily so, as if we shared the same gestalt…….enjoy…..

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.” — Mark Twain (1835-1910)

“I may not understand what you say, but I’ll defend to your death my right to deny it.” — Albert Alligator, in Pogo, 26 September 1951

“The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive.” — Thomas Jefferson, Letter to Abigail Adams, Paris, Feb. 22, 1787

“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs -jolted by every pebble in the road.” — Henry Beecher

Wherever I go, there I am, Pooh mused.

“For here we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor to tolerate error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” — Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) — First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1801

There you go……gonna let these fly on their own…fly, little eagles, fly!…..a little whimsy there……y’all take care out there…..
—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

World-weary gnomes travel light….

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Ffolkes,
And so it begins again. It’s enough to make you just want to rant sometimes. The news every day bombards us with the craziness going on in the world, providing us with the mental equivalent of dried dung in such quantities the Berbers could make a fire lasting all night. Politicians speak out every day, spewing tons of the most amazing crap, proving with every word just how insane they are, and people keep lapping it up like ice cream. The media that reports all this possibly plays the worst part in the charade, as they continue to report on the most trivial BS they can find. They don’t seem to care whether it is dignified, or if it makes any sense; they just want to increase ratings, and bad news does that better than good. Oh well, I could rant on this forever, and it’s not going to make any difference. It’s unfortunate, because I’m beginning to believe that it is too late for us humans; we passed the turnoff to sanity a while back, and nobody noticed. Our beloved ruling class has decided that they are not going to buy into the idea that we are killing ourselves, and will hold that opinion all the way to the graveyard. I’m of the opinion that we little people only have one choice left, and that is revolution. The conditions which produced the first American Revolutionary War are fully present today; government is NOT responsive to the will of the people. Hell, they could care less about the people; to them it’s all about what they can get before getting caught, and even then they don’t get prosecuted. How many bankers and Wall Streeters were put in jail for stealing all that money a few years ago? None…instead we gave them bailout money. Ah hell, that’s enough for one morning; if I continue I’ll end up with indigestion, and I’ve only been up for a half hour. F….. ’em, they’re not going to ruin my day….today’s Pearls were picked out when I had this on my mind, so they may reflect that…..they’re still a pretty good group….

“If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties.” — Francis Bacon

“When forced to resort to arms for redress, an appeal to the tribunal of the world was deemed proper for our justification. This was the object of the Declaration of Independence.” — Thomas Jefferson

“I never wanted to see anybody die, but there are a few obituary notices I have read with pleasure.” — Clarence Darrow
(How long is YOUR list?…..mine runs to three or four pages….and the first two are just the politicians (most of whom began as lawyers) and preachers).

“I don’t mind if you don’t like my manners. I don’t like them myself. They’re pretty bad. I grieve over them on long winter evenings.” — Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in The Big Sleep

Existing order thrives upon ignorance and lies.  Objective truth and individual reason are feared above all.

“The seeker after truth must, once in the course of his life, doubt everything,  as far as is possible.  What is doubtful should even be considered as false. This doubt should not, meanwhile, be applied to ordinary life.” — R. Descartes, “1-3rd Principles of Human Knowledge”

Well, I feel a little better…..reading pearls always helps me regain my equilibrium. Hopefully, they do the same for you….. y’all take care out there…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks, a
nd sometimes
I just sits.
gigoid

An Ode To Noah

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Noah came to live with us when he was about 10 months old; we rescued him from taking the long walk at the Humane Society kennel in Santa Rosa. It was my son’s fifteenth birthday, and he wanted a dog, swearing up & down that he would take responsibility for its’ care. Pets were always part of family life when I grew up, and our last dog had been gone for a bit over a year, so it was time to expand the family once again.

As Cory and I walked down the aisle between cages at the kennel, a large variety of dogs started a welcoming cacophony of different barks; shrill tiny ones, deep booming ones, polite yips, all blended together in an almost desperate frenzy, as each animal, many of them almost frantic, tried to get our attention. Some pawed at the gate, some jumped up, some looked nervous, others looked friendly, and all of them, it seemed, were making noise. As we drew near the last cage in the aisle, we saw a medium-sized black and white dog, not barking, not jumping, just sitting down, leaning against the wall by the gate. He was looking me right in the eyes with an expression on his face that just said, “get me out of here, please!”. What could we do? He was obviously our dog, and he realized it too. We told him we’d be right back, and went back to announce our choice, and complete the paperwork.

The attendant brought Noah in to us just as I finished. He still looked a bit nervous, but calm. That is, he was calm until I clasped his new collar around his neck and hooked on his leash. All of a sudden, he realized he wasn’t going back into the kennel, and he was immediately a new dog, wagging his tail furiously, looking at us with his eyes shining, almost dancing and vibrating in his eagerness to go. As we walked back to the van, he walked proudly in front of us, looking back every few steps to make sure we were still there, tail and ears up, a very happy dog…..

Noah settled into the family immediately. He proved to be very well-mannered, both with people, and in his habits. When on walks, he would stop to sniff, and lift his leg, on every interesting bush and tree, just like any other male dog. But when he had to do his secondary business, he made it clear he preferred to go behind a bush, or somewhere out of the way, and preferably out of sight. He would assume a very embarrassed expression when not sufficiently hidden from sight, and would turn away, as if he felt guilty. A very private, discreet individual, to say the least. If he had been overlong between walks, and was so much in a hurry that he made a mistake on the sidewalk, he would act just like a cat, and pretend that it had not happened. What mess? Who me? I don’t know what you’re talking about…..
Noah was an extremely intellingent dog; I’ve known a great many animals in my time on this old planet, and he’s one of the smartest I’ve ever been around. When he came to live with us, he already knew how to sit on command (both voice and hand), to lie down, and to stay. Actually, he had a little trouble with the whole concept of stay; he didn’t like being left alone, and would often follow after a minute or two; it’s like he just didn’t want to believe we really MEANT for him to stay. He figured he should be with us so he could do his job. As long as he could see us, he’d stay where he was; if he couldn’t, he believed it was his place to find us, and we just couldn’t come to terms; on this point he was firm.

We also never had to teach Noah any tricks, as he seemed to have figured stuff out on his own, and his way was definitely cool….the first time I ever gave him a treat (a milk bone), I showed it to him and told him to sit. He sat. I told him to speak, and he gave one quick howl. I held out my hand, & he offered his own to shake. I straightened up, tossed the treat in the air, and watched him not just catch it, but after making the in-air snag, he tossed it back up into the air. He watched it hit the floor, whereupon he dove on top of it, rolled over, and did a happy dance, by twisting his back and hips as if scratching his back on the floor. I swear, he looked just like Snoopy doing the Dance of Joy. When he was done dancing on his back, he rolled over and proceeded to enjoy his milk bone, with a big twinkle in his eye. I always wanted to video the move to submit it for Stupid Pet Tricks on the Letterman Show, but never had a camera handy when he performed his feat, so Noah missed his chance for stardom.

Noah’s gotten old now; we just observed his 17th birthday in February of this year, so in dog years, he’s going on 120 or so. He can’t hear anything but very loud noises, and can’t see more than a few feet, and I suspect that is mostly shadows and moving light. I’m afraid he will be passing on soon, as he can no longer get up without assistance, and cannot control his bodily functions. I sometimes feel like I should have him put down, to ease his pains, but he doesn’t act as if he is hurting, and I can tell he enjoys just lying around and sleeping, as long as he knows I am near. For his entire life with us, over 16 and a half years, he has been a true and loyal companion, and observed with honor the pact that was made between man and dog many thousands of generations ago, and taking care of him in his declining years is both a privilege, and an honor. In my entire life, I have never known anyone more loyal, more compassionate, and more courageous in standing up to life. He is by far the best friend that any man could hope for, and by far the best person I’ve ever known……