Ffolkes,
One of the items of import that was left out of the information and instruction manual we all got at birth relates to the aging process. Nowhere in that manual is any mention of the joy and adventure that awaits one as the years go by (though, admittedly, my battered old copy was missing pages when it was handed down to me. But, they were out of the adolescence section, anyway, and wouldn’t have much relevance for me at this stage of life….)
One of the most consistent adventures at my age has shown itself to be sleep. Or rather, the amusing lack of sleep one may expect on any given day. Getting to sleep, staying asleep, sleeping deeply, all have become a hit and miss proposition, completely lacking in any sort of regularity….. As might be surmised, this presents one with some fascinating and essential adjustments to make in relation to said altered sleep patterns, and how to fit that into one’s life, without going BLOODY FUCKING NUTS from persistent fatigue…..
I wrote the above paragraphs last night, right before toddling off to bed, ever hopeful for a swift journey to the arms of Morpheus. As it was one o’clock AM by that time, and I was very heavy-lidded, I figured I had a decent chance at success. And, as it turns out, I did fall out fairly quickly….. only to have my eyes pop open at 0535, not wide awake after 4.5 hours of rest, but not going back down easily, either. Thus, I find myself once again typing in the dark morning, wondering what the hell I’m doing up so damn early, and putting all my angst and resentment over not sleeping into this morning blurb. SIGH…… Woe is me, alas, alas! Woe is me!
Okay, there, that’s done….. having reached the point of no return, also called “losing one’s cool”, I will now turn a 180, and head off down an alternate path for today, provided I can find one through all this bullshit angst. Woe is me, indeed! I’ll woe is me…. I’ll woe me so much woe, that the house next door will rattle, I will…..
I must apologize, I don’t know how that little snipe got away from me, and got to the typewriter before I woke up all the way. But, I’ve collared the little shit, and we’ll have no more nonsense today from the likes of him. Woe is me…. I’m appalled! I can’t believe he thought that would fly! Such silly, old-fashioned words haven’t seen my typewriter for simply ages, and with good reason, as you can see. That particular phrase is one he KNEW would get to me, as it was placed on the banned usage list some years ago (I had used them for an elegy of a friend, and his wife just cried harder at the funeral when I read it, so I took it off the list…. way too sappy anyway…)
Well, really, this has gotten completely out of hand….. I suppose the only thing left for us to do is to Pearl….. let’s get to it, shall we?…..
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“Don’t SAY things. What you ARE stands over you the while, and thunders so that I cannot hear what you say to the contrary.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson — Social Aims
It’s Spring! And the air is full of….. activism and outrage! Shortly after completing yesterday’s Pearl, and sending it out, I received a response from one of my friends who has been getting these gems in their email for over 10 years. The email was actually from his wife, who had seen the pictures that are at the other end of the link below, and whose sense of outrage and anger over them prompted her to request that I show the link on this blog.
Since I happen to agree with her on this one, as the subjects of the pictures are the children of one of the biggest WOS’s on the face of the planet, I am happy to comply. (Yes, I know, WOS seems to be my latest favorite insulting title….. and in this case falls well short of being too harsh. More like not mean enough, by a long shot…. we’re talking about some MAJOR assholes here…)
And who, you might ask, would that be? That would be that all-too-familiar, and all-too-real, fat, greedy-eyed face of Donald, the Trump, and his spawn. The pictures are of his spoiled, elitist, never worked-a-day-in-their-lives sons, in a display of arrogance and sheer ballsy indifference to any normal set of behavioral standards heretofore unseen in public, even by a Trump. And, if the pictures are any indication, these assholes are not merely monumentally indifferent, but are proud of their lack of moral standards, and even revel in flaunting their complete disregard for any other life form on Earth.
The pictures, no doubt intended as fond memories to take home to their doting, terrified spouses or more likely, mistresses, show us the utter lack of humanity in these two ditto heads, which clearly indicates that they are perfect clones of their infamous pater familias, sharing his hatred of women, Americans, and anyone else who doesn’t worship at the Altar of the Almighty Dollar…… caution, these images may produce the urge to fire shotguns…. at idiots…..
Please add these names to your twit lists….. and should you see any of the persons pictured here, please feel free to publicly humiliate them to your heart’s content. Hell, you can spit on them, if you like. Being who they are, they’re used to it. I’m sure it’s happened before…..
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“Education is a weapon.” — Josef Stalin
“Sleep is a weapon.” — Phillipe D’Anjou, to Jason Bourne in The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum.
You see where this is going, right? C’mon, it’s plain as the rain in Spain…. “Therefore, Education while Asleep is the ultimate weapon.” — gigoid, Sunday, 2012…. Damn skippy it is….
Well, it always worked for me, anyway… my teachers, it seems, were unaware of the untapped power of the subconscious, and the advantages to be found in sleep learning, and tried to insist on my staying awake in classes, other than just at test time, (when I would wake up, dopey smile in place, pencil in hand, seemingly delighted to be there). I didn’t care, I just slept away, soaking in everything said around me, and remembering it perfectly. It was always such a shock to them when I would ace the tests, when I apparently had ignored every word they said; quite fun, actually, to see their faces go purple…. awesome colors! Must have something to do with diet….. or repetitive exposure to smart alecks such as myself…. 🙂
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I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There’s more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in a crooked line.
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.
— the Indigo Girls, Closer to Fine
Even though I am performing my duties as Emperor of the Entire World clandestinely, using puppet figures, and liberal application of the Imperious Charm, trying to balance writing, quietly assassinating my list of PTWWBBOW’s, (People The World Would Be Better Off Without…) and getting enough sleep, has all become too taxing for someone who just wants to fully retire and enjoy seeing all of the world I can before my allotted time has elapsed.
Plus, I figure, if I abdicate now, I will have more time to work on my new list of WOSTBSFE’s (Wastes Of Sperm To Be Scheduled For Elimination….), and still be able to have the time to consume unlimited numbers of brightly colored adult beverages, served by indentured ex-CEO’s in oddly-shaped plastic glasses with bamboo umbrellas, while basking on a semi-tropical nude beach with my entourage of sycophants…..
To be honest, I’m sick of being Emperor OTEW (by now you should have figured out how this works….); even staying in the background is time-consuming and tedious in the extreme (what is it about bureaucracies and their love of forms in triplicate?). And since I had already consented to turn over the reigns of power to Lizzie Cracked and Ginger Snaap when I am done with the job I came to do, I have decided that the time is right for the process of transition to begin.
Therefore, within the next few days, you should see announcements of the power shift, hereinafter to be referred to as The Ascension of the Ambitious and Totally Gorgeous Princesses in all published news releases, and your new Empresses of The Entire World will begin their reign of terror, er, benevolent generosity, months in advance of initial estimates. (Riiiiight…)
I believe it has been agreed that The Indigo Girls will be hired to perform at the Transition Ball, hence I have included my favorite line from one of their best songs above, to give you a taste of what is to come. I think you all will enjoy having the Cracked/Snaap sisters at the head of your beloved ruling class; if nothing else, it should prove to be a unique period in human history…..
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“There is in us a tendency to locate the shaping forces of our existence outside ourselves. Success and failure are unavoidably related in our minds with the state of things around us. Hence it is that people with a sense of fulfillment think it is a good world and would like to preserve it as it is, while the frustrated favor radical change. The tendency to look for all causes outside ourselves persists even when it is clear that our state of being is the product of personal qualities such as ability, character, appearance, health and so on.” — Eric Hoffer
Whoa! Eric took some mental steroids, or something, when he came up with this. This is as deeply insightful a glimpse into true human nature as I think I’ve ever seen, and I thought I’d seen some pretty good examples of that particular kind of vision. Truly, this is a truth that explains so much of what is giving humanity such a problem, in terms of achieving any real progress of an ethical, moral, or spiritual nature. The kind of progress that would give some new hope to those who would like to continue to live to enjoy what beauty the universe has to give us, as opposed to enduring the lack of connection to reality and truth that most of humanity engages in, to our common regret.
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Following are a number of “Jokes” that perpetuate the lies and propaganda regarding the subjugation of women so ubiquitous in society…… (My comments will appear in parentheses….)
I looked up executrix. It has nothing to do w/ leather and high heels. (Obviously, he wishes it did….)
“Women: You can’t live with them, and you can’t get them to dress up in a skimpy Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash.” — Emo Phillips (Do I need to even say how wrong this is?…..)
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. It’s not the light bulb that needs changing. (Reverse psychology; making the feminist the unreasonable party….)
Man who lifts stones off woman get rocks off. — Confucius say (Nothing of making an object of a woman here, move along, nothing to see…) (Let’s not get into the racist element here…though no less ubiquitous or egregious, one thing at a time…. as if Confucius would actually have said this…)
“Breast feeding is popular now. It wasn’t when I was growing up. In high school, my mom caught me with an inflatable sex doll. I told her, “Hey, you’re the one who got me hooked with those plastic baby bottles.” — Xavier Skinner (Linking sex objects with addictive nature… and blaming Mom for it…. what a nice guy!)
(Note: as a comment on the ubiquitous nature of these “jokes” in the fabric of society, finding these first six examples took less than three minutes in my database of quotes, which contains a very wide cross section of the diverse segments of our society’s tastes in humor. The numerous others hereafter were found in random database searches for pearls, in only one day)
(This one isn’t a joke, in any sense…. ) “As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.” — Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)**
( **Just at first sight, without going into societal norms at all, it seems to me that the fallacy herein is rooted in the deliberately false assumptions that are glaringly apparent in the statement; first, that only a virtuous woman could blush innocently, out of virtue, and second, that a “whore” could not be a virtuous woman….. and a modest fool IS a man of sense, to my way of thinking. At least such a fool knows he is a fool, a condition which seems to have escaped Jonathan’s notice. Sorry Mr. Swift, you win the ignorant button today….)
“There’s no such thing, you know, as picking out the best woman: it’s only a question of comparative badness, brother.” — Titus Maccius Plautus (Apparently, misogyny is not a new concept in human society……)
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full! (I have to say, there are some real sick people out there! Not even very funny by sick standards….)
A woman can never be too rich or too thin. (Really? I’d wager good money this was first said by a man, not a woman; if not, it was surely a thoroughly indoctrinated woman…..)
That’s enough for now. I think the point is clear….. there is still a long way to go to overcome thousands of years of social propaganda, and there’s no more time to waste…. Free our Sisters, Free Ourselves! And don’t forget to stand up and point to the things you see that maintain and support these abominable practices; good intentions are useless if not acted upon…..
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You may note that there is no mention herein of the significance of today’s date; no April Fools party here, thank you. Though I can admire a good prank as much as anyone, provided it does no harm to anyone’s pride or self-respect, in general I avoid the day altogether.
This probably is due to bad memories connected to this date; yesterday, March 31, would have been my 33rd wedding anniversary, had my ex-wife not chosen to abandon the family we created some 13 years ago, just prior to both our anniversary, and our daughter’s high school graduation. Great timing, eh? (I’ve never asked her, but I’d guess she blames me for her departure, as having “made her want to leave.” SIGH…..)
Any who, I’d rather not spend any time thinking along those lines, so I don’t…. I don’t miss it at all, at all….. April Fool’s Day, that is…. I’ll miss my the woman I loved, and still love, and the family we worked so long to make and keep, for the rest of my life…..
We have again reached the end of another day’s work, or whatever one might call this process, and now I must hie off to my Inbox, delete button close to hand, to start the process of eliminating about 200 emails that have piled up over the last two days. It promises to be a long, involved process, so I’d best be about it. Y’all take care out there……
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.
gigoid
Kowabunga!
gigoid 