Tag Archives: catch-22

Sneaking in, under the radar…..

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10

Ffolkes,
An epic battle is raging just now at my house. My old nemesis, depression, is trying to sink its claws into my psyche, and drag me down into the pit of my personal hell. I’m strong, but my opponent has several advantages in the current light. A number of things in my life right now are at less than optimum value, and though there is hope, there seems to be little progress toward fulfilling that hope. Finances are the sorest subject; it is becoming increasingly difficult to cover everything on what I’m currently bringing home, and I can see another 3 to 4 months before I’ll start bringing in more. From where I’m sitting now, that is looking like a very long time.

Stress like this from the financial world adds to my other store of little complaints (we all have some….stuff that bothers us, but which we cannot change at present) such as back, hip, and joint pain, aching teeth, and the distinct possibility of having to move in the near future. This stress doesn’t sit well with me; I’ve had my fill of it, and just can’t deal with it as well as I used to. I’m fine in the middle of a crisis, such as a fight or loud argument; I’ve had too much practice at that to let it get to me.

But, with everyday stresses like money, food, shelter, transportation, etc., I have a hard time not breaking into tears, and dissolving rapidly into severe depression; when that happens, I’m useless, to myself or anyone else. All I want to do is sleep, or wander around my space, mind racing to find some solace somewhere.

I’m hoping that putting together today’s Pearl will give me some space, and maybe some ammunition to use to beat back the darkness; a good quote, or a beautiful piece of poetry, can stimulate that part of my mind that is still free of the bonds that being depressed forces one to wear. If I work this right, by the time I’ve finished, I’ll be stable again, and able to avoid the pit of hell I’m looking at now…. let’s get to it, shall we?….. Ah, see, it’s working already….. first dive, a nice pearl jumps up and throws itself into the bag….and it’s a good one, just the right tone to neutralize the two paragraphs above….

“When the situation is hopeless, there’s nothing to worry about.” — Edward Abbey

Now I feel better…..
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“There was only one catch and that was Catch22, which specified that a concern for one’s safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask, and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn’t, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn’t have to; but if he didn’t want to he was sane and had to.” — Joseph Heller, Catch22

Sound familiar? It should; it’s getting close to Tax Time, and if ever there was a physical representation of Catch 22, the IRS definitely fits the description, sort of. If one pays taxes, then one feels stupid and violated; if one doesn’t pay them, then the IRS calls them stupid, and violates them in a very real sense. I hate it. And I especially hate the way the 1% gets away with not paying their fair share of those taxes. Just one more thing that makes me want to go buy a gun…..but then, I would guess that today, given my attitude upon awakening, almost anything is going to elicit the same response….
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“As long as I am mayor of this city [Jersey City, New Jersey] the great industries are secure.  We hear about constitutional rights, free speech and the free press.  Every time I hear these words I say to myself, “That man is a Red, that man is a Communist”.  You never hear a real American talk like that.” — Mayor Frank Hague (1896-1956)

Sad, isn’t it? This statement, from a mayor who obviously hadn’t a clue, is one I haven’t seen before. And I should have. This is such a vile distortion of the values this country was founded on that it should be taught in schools as an example of a treasonous statement. How a person that stupid was elected in the first place was a mystery, until I saw what state it was. Isn’t New Jersey the home state of Spiro Agnew? I think so, but if not, it could have been. Boy, now there was a prime example of how even the stupid and charmless can fool the people sometimes. I understand that the political climate in the time when he was a burgeoning political hack was rather fanatic in its campaign against Communism, but Agnew set new standards of stupid, clueless bigotry for others to hold up as an example.

SIGH….. it’s a shame really…. they (the political bozos who make these outrageous comments) make such good teaching tools, I don’t see why they couldn’t be utilized. It’s not as if the other side is going to refrain from cheating or lying, because they won’t…. they will say and do whatever is necessary to secure the votes they need. So maybe if we lowered our own standards a bit….. nah, too dangerous. I’d rather keep my own integrity intact, and fight fair; cheating a cheater doesn’t turn the cheat into a virtue……
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I stared into the abyss. The abyss stared into me. Neither of us liked what we saw.

Damn skippy it didn’t. It was a foregone conclusion that my view of the abyss today would be somewhat grim; sometimes the abyss is scarier than it needs to be. Today, it was no contest; it took one look at me and ran back into the void, moaning and crying for its mama…. I suppose that is the one advantage to a grim mood; even the bad asses walk to the other side of the street when they get a look at my face. I’m not saying its scary or anything, but I have been known to make babies cry at one glimpse, and there are a few cracked mirrors and camera lenses that give mute testimony to the depths of my rage when I’m feeling like this.

Sometimes I feel like walking down dark alleys in the dead of night in the baddest part of town, dollar bills hanging out of my pockets, not just asking, but demanding that some fool take me on. I guess it’s  fortunate for me, and them, that no one has ever challenged me in that state; I guess the vibes I put out are strong enough to make even the stupidest thief smart enough to walk away, and live…..
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“It’s men who make laws, and enforce them, and break them, and think the whole performance is wonderful.  Most women would rather just ignore them.” — Ursula K. Le Guin

When I stop to think about it, this makes perfect sense. I’ve often felt that politics, and society in general, would benefit from having more women in positions of power; their attitudes are enough different from men’s that the overall effect most likely would improve. But, unfortunately, women who get into positions of power seem to forget the above statement, and act more like men than men themselves. They probably feel like they have to, in order to succeed in a man’s world.

But they are wrong in that, and we would all benefit if they would stop that nonsense, and instead act as a counterbalance to the overly aggressive, testosterone-filled actions their male counterparts generally come up with. Hell, it couldn’t work any worse, and it could very well be that it is just what the world needs to regain some of the common sense that seems to have disappeared from modern life……
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“One who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.” — Lao-tzu, _Tao Te Ching_

And there you have it. The solution to the threat of imminent depression is right there. Enough is enough. That’s for sure and for certain, but I had, in the grip of my fears, left that out of my calculations. I have enough. Enough food to get through the month. Enough friends to help me if necessary. And more than enough love, from friends and family, to hold me for a long time. If I were to compare, I probably am better off than over 50% of the world.

Sometimes, it’s just a matter of getting a reminder like this; that’s all it takes to get back on track. This is one reason why I do this; not for my readers, or for the joy of writing, though those are factors. It’s mostly for me…. it gives me the outlet my brain needs to stay within shouting distance of sanity, both in the process of finding the pearls, and in writing my reaction to them. Yay for me!…..
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Well, it’s been real, for sure. Real hard, real frustrating, real rage. Real relief, too, at finally finding a worthy koan to lead me away from the precipice I was near when I awoke. I just hope that my weird state didn’t affect the Pearl too much. Wouldn’t want to let too much reality spoil a nice day….. and it will be, now. Y’all take care out there…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Sitting amid the clutter, thinking of marigolds….

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2

Ffolkes,
Someone’s been fussing with the universe again, reality is all messed up this morning. Everything is nothing, and vice versa. It’s enough to make a grown man weep. Boo hoo…..

Okay, there, that’s done. I wouldn’t want to have started before spitting that out; someone could have been injured from the flying innuendo…… things here may seem a bit on edge, or jumpy, today. Pay it no mind, it’s just my depression trying to worm out of the hole I stuffed it in. It could be an ugly scene, so I’m going to go do as much as I can before it catches on to what I’m doing…..
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“If a person offend you and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures.  Simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick.” — Mark Twain, Advice to Youth Speech, 1882

Mr. Twain seems to be advising youth here with his tongue firmly planted in cheek, but is nonetheless spot on with his technique for dealing with those idiots who manage to get under our skin with their displays of offensive ignorance. It is what may be called a reasoned response, and the punishment can be considered proportionate to the offense. Resorting to extreme lengths to discipline in cases like this can come back to haunt you later; society tends to look unfavorably on the maiming, slicing, and dicing of its citizens, even when so obviously provoked, and deserved. And leaving them alive and seriously injured puts a strain on the health care industry to treat them for their wounds, or to perform the 24 hour nursing care for any human vegetables your justifiable anger may create. So temper thy temper with just a bit of tolerance, and only give such fools their immediate desserts, not their final meal……. you’ll feel better for having shown such restraint, while still purging any lingering resentment…..a clear win-win…..
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“A doctrine insulates the devout not only against the realities around them but also against their own selves. The fanatical believer is not conscious of his envy, malice, pettiness and dishonesty. There is a wall of words between his consciousness and his real self.” — Eric Hoffer

Aha!  Now it makes sense. I have always wondered how some of these political types can go around, day after day, uttering the same stupid nonsense that they were spouting the week before, in spite of the evidence brought forth that shows it to be incorrect, ill-considered, or a bald-faced lie. They act as if nothing at all has been said, and will even accuse the questioner of bias or discrimination, just to deflect and distract from the subject they wish to avoid. It is as if they completely block out anything said to them, or about them; they act as if what is presented has no existence, and has no bearing on the issues at hand.

This is how Newt Gingrich can continue to deny that his serial adultery has no bearing on his politics, and does not indicate any moral inferiority. He seems to think that it’s okay to turn it around, and blame his infidelity on his wife, or on the one with whom he cheated. It’s how Mitt Romney can casually flaunt his wealth and indifference toward the 99%, and believe that it won’t cause resentment to eat away at his support system, and cause the disillusioned to turn away. It is how Congress thinks it is acceptable to hold meetings on the issue of birth control with a committee that has no women sitting on it, and no women scheduled to give evidence. It’s how Rick Santorum can make outrageous statements that are parroted from the zealotry of the religious right, and still believe that he is popular with anyone else, or that he stands an even chance of stealing the nomination away from the bigger dogs.

Worst of all, this is how the great unwashed masses who vote can, time after time, continue to believe the bullshite that is handed to them, and elect these idiots again. To my way of thinking, this is behavior that wouldn’t be out of place in sharks; they have no memory to speak of, and not much ability to learn. But every four years, the people of this country go forth, and show their support for people who lie to them on a consistent basis, and who have no interest whatsoever in improving the lot of anyone but themselves. It’s not exactly the strongest evidence of intelligence I’ve seen… and is indubitably the strongest evidence of mass stupidity I can think of…..

“It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.” — Noel Coward

“There is no point in getting angry, but there is a stupid malignity to all this that does try one’s patience.” — Anonymous
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FIGHTING WORDS

Say my love is easy had,
Say I’m bitten raw with pride,
Say I am too often sad —
Still behold me at your side.

Say I’m neither brave nor young,
Say I woo and coddle care,
Say the devil touched my tongue —
Still you have my heart to wear.

But say my verses do not scan,
And I get me another man!
— Dorothy Parker

No comments needed here. I enjoy Dorothy Parker’s work; it always has a bit of self-deprecating humor to it, yet shows off her immense talent by it’s mere casualness. She was indeed, unique…..
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“Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible form of magic, capable of both inflicting injury, and of remedying it.” Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter:The Deathly Hallows, J.K. Rowling

I’m going to go out on a limb, here…. I sincerely believe that should society survive the next 200 years, the seven books comprising the Harry Potter saga will come to be considered required reading, as the greatest work of literature created in the latter half of the 20th century. Quotes such as the one above will be commonly held wisdom. as will the quote below. I also think that the character of Severus Snape will be the most widely known and admired fictional character from the same period. The performance by Alan Rickman is flawless; wickedly intelligent, ambitious, and always conscious of his flawed humanity, he brings powerful emotion to a toweringly tragic figure.  Snape will join Hamlet, Othello, and the like as the latest in a long line of tragic heroes, and deservedly so.

The performances of all the perfectly picked cast were well-done, and guided to reflect the characters described in the books. Ralph Fiennes brings a certain chilling insouciance and style to the character of Voldemort, making him more accessible and human, but a human who LIKES being evil.

The translation of the books into movies was well done, thanks to the determined efforts of Ms. Rowling to keep the movies true to the spirit of her work. With only minor changes to the plot lines to satisfy the limitations of movie-making, all eight of the movies were able to bring the fun, the wonder, and the magic of her stories to millions of people who hadn’t read the books.

This was a challenge of no little stature, as the art of movie-making turned its technological eye on making people believe in the magic onscreen. This is harder than it sounds, but with the new power of computer animation and advances in film technology, the challenge was met, and the world now has the entire epic in two formats, written and digitized. I predict that it will remain atop the list of the world’s favorite stories for centuries to come……

“Pity not the living, Harry, pity the dead. Especially, pity those who live without love.” — Albus Dumbledore, ibid
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“Don’t SAY things. What you ARE stands over you the while, and thunders so that I cannot hear what you say to the contrary.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson — Social Aims

In a section above, we spoke about the nimrods who are currently showing off their ignorance on center stage of the nightly news, and how they are oblivious to their own flaws. This famous little snippet from Emerson should be brought to their attention, as it describes perfectly the plot-line of the play in which they find themselves acting out their parts. It could save them, and us, a lot of heartache and wasted time, as well as money.

I am, however, unwilling to wager on whether they will pay any more attention to this than they do to the bald truths they are already ignoring…. I have a feeling that they’ll just look at it, scratch their heads, and walk away from it; that’s their usual response to any truth that doesn’t mesh with their agenda…..
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Well, my schedule is all screwed up, thanks to age-related kinks in the system…. my activity level nears the frenzy level around the first of the month, as I try to dole out a bit of gelt to all those nice folks who say I owe them. It’s a catch-22, for sure, as they dun me for what I’ve already consumed, yet try to get me to consume more of whatever it is, before I’ve finished paying for the old stuff.  Ah well, life in the fast lane, I suppose….. all will be well, in time….. in the meantime, y’all take care out there…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!