Ffolkes,

The following is the post that was intended for posting yesterday, October 18th; it was written in time, but Reality intruded to prevent me from getting to an internet access point before the end of the day…. ah well, twice in a year and a half isn’t bad…. Enjoy, and I’ll do my best to see that I get posted tomorrow as well…
Wild horses, I swore, are not getting me up early again…. but, that was before the silly beasts started in with their neighing at scream volume, and pounding hoof beats. And what is with the ropes and shit, dragging my butt onto the floor?….. Any way you look at it, I lose, it seems…. At least today, I made it to 0700 before having to give up and get up, once more in the grip of sleeplessness, and more going on in the head than I care for this early…. Ah well, I’ve had it thoroughly drilled into my awareness that Murphy gives not a sh__, er, whit for what I care for, or about…. So, off I’ll go, into Pearl land, seeking, as always, excellence and enlightenment….

Yesterday, I read a pearl, in passing, that said something like, “You know you’re getting old when…. reading the obituaries is like reading a high school yearbook….” A bit grim, I know…. but, it reminded me that such events are catching up to me, as more of my peers, from high school, and beyond, are starting to bite the dust with alarming regularity….. And, in today’s day and age, other calamities can strike without warning, bringing sorrow and fear with them….

One of my friends, the wife of my oldest friend (we’ve known each other 52 years now, since grade school, and they’ve been married for over 23 years….), was very recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and will be having a double mastectomy on Friday, I believe…. My friend, of course, is very upset and afraid, though he is holding up well; he is an honorable man, and intends to be strong for his mate….. The prognosis for the surgery is good, as they caught it early-on, and have found no traces of spreading into the lymph system yet; this type of cancer has a very good survival rate, when caught at this stage, so we are all hopeful those statistics hold true….

So, any who, I only mention this so I can ask for you to send out good thoughts and, if you are so inclined, prayers for her good deliverance during surgery, and for many more years of sparkling (she’s good at that….). I’m not sure where the surgery is being done, so if you would just send them toward Northern California, I’ll make sure they get to the right vicinity…. thanks very much, she deserves, and needs, all the help she can get…. as can my friend….

Well, there’s a way to get the old juices flowing….. bring on a spate of tears, and the old metabolism just jumps right up into work mode… a bit harsh, though, I think, to have to put one’s self through that to find a muse…. But, then, when have we ever done things normally around here? That’s correct, that answer would be…. never…. Shall we Pearl?…..
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Herein you will find a recipe for Life Well-Lived….. the first ingredient is illustrated here:

Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.

— Tao Te Ching

The second ingredient needed to add to the first is here:

Hug O’ War

I will not play at tug o’ war.
I’d rather play at hug o’ war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins.

— Shel Silverstein

When these two parts are smoothly integrated into a malleable state, add this:

“I was standing in the kitchen one day, fixing a sandwich or something, when suddenly I heard a very distinct “sneeze” emanate from the fridge. Naturally curious, I opened the door and scrutinized the various food items. Suddenly, the mayonnaise began to scream, “The ketchup did it! The ketchup!” Of course, I was stunned. This, after all, was an inanimate object. And, truthfully, to this very day, I’ve never been able to coax the ketchup to say or do anything and have concluded the sneeze was my own imagination.” — Smart Bee

At this point, nearly uncontrollable giggles should emanate from either the substance being mixed, or from the mixer; both are a good omen for the success of the dish…. Now we can add the fourth ingredient, as below:

“The survival of the fittest is the ageless law of nature, but the fittest are rarely the strong. The fittest are those endowed with the qualifications for adaptation, the ability to accept the inevitable and conform to the unavoidable, to harmonize with existing or changing conditions.” — Dave E. Smalley

As any good chef or artiste knows, harmony comes, strangely enough, in odd numbers…. and thus with this final ingredient, blended well with what has gone before, you will find yourself in the presence of true beauty and grace…. This is a two-medium ingredient, textual/conceptual and visual….. (picture by Carol Welsh, from her blog at WordPress, here: http://carolwelsh.wordpress.com/  )

“Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living…. and above all, those who live without Love.” — Albus Dumbledore, from J.K. Rowlings’ Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows”
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I had no time to hate, because
The grave would hinder me,
And life was not so ample I
Could finish enmity.

Nor had I time to love, but since
Some industry must be,
The little toil of love, I thought,
Was large enough for me.

~~ Emily Dickinson
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Here are some examples of the astounding depths of Stupid that can manifest in humans……

“The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.” — Pat Robertson, Man of God and serious Republican presidential aspirant, in a letter to supporters
(My calculator broke when I tried to count how many wrong things there are in this statement…..)

“Trees cause more pollution than cars ever did.” — Ronald Reagan
(I had a hard time believing he actually said this in 1982, or thereabouts, but, there it was, right there in the newspaper…. and, in the annals of history, as it remains as the record for the stupidest thing ever said by a US President…. though Ronnie’s VP, Gerry Ford, later made some valiant attempts to break it, during his own stint in the Oval Office….)

Where Mind and each believing mind are not divided,
And undivided are each believing mind and Mind,
This is where words fail;
For it is not for the past, present, and future.

— Seng-T’San (540?-606 A.D.)
(Actually, this may not be stupid…. but I can’t tell for sure, because it is so opaque, and hides its meaning so deeply in complexity, it sounds stupid…..and is therefore subject to the Duck Test…. i.e., if it quacks, etc……)

“Facts can be used to prove anything that’s even remotely true. Facts, shmacts!” — Homer Simpson
(Come to think of it, ANYTHING Homer says could be included here…. I regard Homer to be the absolute incarnation of Human Stupidity, and thoroughly regret his popularity, though it doesn’t surprise me at all….)

Kinsey: “Oh, please. Given the chance, half of all American citizens won’t even vote, and the half that do vote are too stupid to know what they’re doing.” — from Stargate
(I’m sure I don’t have to remind you that, if you heard it on TV, it must be true…. or, in this case, be a pretty clear reflection of society….)

This kind of search, for pearls of real stupidity, as opposed to their opposites, is a slow one… Not that there are fewer examples of this kind of thing available, but, Smart Bee tends to lean toward the other end of the spectrum, keeping and displaying the most valuable and elegant aphorisms uttered through the ages, rather than these demonstrations of humanity’s other talents. So, here is a last example, which will, no doubt, be welcomed with open arms…. Just remember not to use these as Pearls Of Virtual Wisdom, or for goodness’ sake, real wisdom…. I won’t be responsible for the outcome….

I met a fool i’ the forest,
A motley fool.
— William Shakespeare (1564-1616), As You Like It — Act ii, Sc. 7
(In this case, what we see is a double dose of stupid…. one, what is written…. and two, all the fools who fall all over themselves to say that Shakespeare was so wonderful…. when what he was, was the best hack of his time, with a good PR man…. People still fall for this crap!…..)
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You may have noted a certain lack of original material in today’s Pearl…. which is not surprising, given my current state of mind….. It was all I could do to come up with commentary for this morning’s efforts, as I’m still a bit groggy from the hour, and quite empty of anything but the barest skepticism, my constant companion…. On days like these, I depend on Smart Bee, and the wisdom of others to carry me through this process, trusting that routine, of sorts, will produce an acceptable group of pearls. All in all, I don’t think I did too badly, and, as is the standard rule here, it’s done, and it’s not getting done over…. So be it…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!