Long ago, or, maybe yesterday, I forget, I made the decision to write, in order to clear my head of all the dross and drivel that had accumulated in there over the years…. which dross and drivel, uncommonly erudite as it was, had caused me untold hours of emotional turbulence, due to the uncomfortable contrast it shows to a significant number of the various perceptible parts of reality…. I decided it would do better out of my head; in the process, it would afford me some relief from having to carry it around, and, at the same time, put some of it where it might do some good, into my ranting….

I know my rants are generally a bit strident, at least in their criticism of the BRC, and the rest of the assholes who have made our world such a bloody fucking mess, but, I’ve always TRIED to be humorously light-hearted, if somewhat cranky, in the course of taking all my shots at our beloved leaders. I also know they get a bit long for a morning blog; that has to do with the strength of the emotions that are driving the rant, and, with my PTSD still lurking about in my head somewhere, they tend to be fairly strong….

All of this is just more of what might be termed faddle, or maybe, fiddle, which is, of course, the other side of faddle…. both of which, naturally, are words I just made up, on the spot, to confuse and irritate…. Oh, not you… me…. I figure I haven’t tried that yet, so, what the heck…. It can’t produce anything worse than what usually passes for an intro around here, and just might be the long-term answer for which I have so frantically searched for so long…. One would THINK that after this much time, I might have come up with SOMETHING worthwhile to use every day, but, NOOOOO, not me, I’ve got to spend YEARS pissing around with the same old crap, buying time until we can get a bit further down the page….

I’ve even gotten to the point of modifying paragraph structure, and/or making grammatical observations, just to trick readers into thinking this crap means something, when all it really means is that, once again, I can’t think of a damn thing to write about…. so, I just jump in, with both hands flying across the keyboard, filling in what might have otherwise passed as decently composed literature, knowing that we only have a few moments left to carry this off…

If anyone figures out the scam before I can finish, the resulting tears in the fabric of the literary cloth I’ve woven can send us into a dangerous tailspin,  which is not merely dangerous, as well as too early to contemplate, in my state of mind today, but can actually cause real physical harm…. which my insurance guy is getting a bit tired of…..

So, we’ll make our way to the first section, again, where I have prepared for you an older rant, a politirant that, like most of them that I write, is as valid today as it was when written…. I think, maybe, that’s because I usually talk about crap that isn’t going to ever go away, sadly…. not until the Universe has carried out the judgment against us for our crimes against Nature, which is bound to be happening any old time now…. In the meantime….

Shall we Pearl?…..

“Man is the measure of all things, of things that are that they are, and of things that are not that they are not.” — Protagoras of Adera (481-411 B.C.)?

Got that? Good….. let’s move on….

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Here is a rant posted on 6/8/13, for the second time, a pretty good politirant from 2012…. It speaks about the election of that year, but the points addressed are still relevant, as you’ll see….

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I am running late, a bit, since I got up at a completely reasonable hour, and have been dawdling over getting this done, letting my mind wake up at its own pace…. and now, I don’t have the time, or the energy, to rant, not effectively…. Once again, though, the archives will come to the rescue…. Here is a politirant I wrote on 7/14/2012, a little less than a year ago, during the run-up to the Presidential election in November of that year….

I remember it quite well, and consider it one of my better rants, especially as it continued through two sections of what then were the longer, five section pearls of the old format…. At that length, it’s a bit long, but it’s all quite accurate, and still pretty relevant, given that the political scenery hasn’t altered significantly since it was written… But, then, political scenery never does really change anything but the faces of the people at the top, does it?….. Enjoy, ffolkes, this one is pretty good, and on the mark….
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“Ignore the man behind the screen.” — The All Seeing, All Powerful, Wonderful Wizard of Oz

As the time passes and we draw ever nearer to the election this year, this becomes increasingly relevant. It is important to remember that ALL the political candidates are guilty of using the art of prestidigitation in their communications with the public. Of course, Mitt the Twitt and the GOP are showing particularly egregious new heights to which they are willing to take the art; they have paraded a series of lies before the public that are not even hidden, or palmed like cards; they’re just out there, proven as lies, but ignored. They don’t seem to care; they just deny, ignore, and issue their next false accusation or made up statistics….

‘Shit Happens’ according to… Denialism:      What shit? — Smart Bee

The Democrats aren’t completely free of this syndrome, either; if you believe they are, then you have entered the Twilight Zone, and may have trouble finding your way back to the real world. I admire Obama, much the same way I did Carter; they are both basically decent men trying to do an impossible job, while constantly having to contend with an entire segment of those who are supposed to support him who, instead, are attempting to thwart his every reform, simply for the sake of divisiveness. In their fight to get ANYTHING done, they have had to resort to chicanery of their own. I figure they, at least, feel a bit of guilt about it, whereas I can see no such reaction from Mitt or any of the GOP spokes bozos…. They just deny and ignore any such suggestions of wrong-doing….

Let’s consider Mitt the Twitt for a moment. Here is a man who admits to being rich as Croesus, yet finds it necessary to hide at least half of his real worth, as if it would tarnish his image of someone who can relate to the common man. I think the common man, to Mitt, is someone who only has $50,000 worth of investments, to go along with the house they own, their three cars, and the vacation home in Maine. In contrast to EVERY OTHER candidate’s policy of publishing their taxes, he continues to refuse to release any returns beyond the last one; there are inconsistencies and red flag items of interest to the public in that one, too, but he refuses to discuss any of it…

This is the same man who tied his dog to a kennel on the roof of a car, driving obliviously off on vacation, without ever thinking of how terrified the dog might be, barreling along at 80 mph, with the wind blowing straight through the kennel. He laughs about it, and turns questions about it to other subjects, refusing to even comment on it. This is the same man who, when asked about a serious incident of bullying and gay bashing during his last year in high school, shrugged it off as “youthful pranks and high spirits”…..

This is the same man who…. well, never mind. I could go on most of the day, and not get to all the little incidents from just the last few months that indicate the Twitt’s complete disregard for the majority of Americans, all of which show clearly how entrenched he is in the 1%, and how committed he is to solidifying the stranglehold that the banks and corporations have on the rest of American society.

Romney’s total focus is on the agenda of the rich, to the detriment of the poor, which is why I am totally astounded, at just how many lower-income fundie conservative IDIOTS are out there in this country, blindly supporting him, in the mistaken belief that he gives a shit about them…. All they know, or  really care about, is that he is WHITE, not black….

No politician is acting in the best interests of the people they govern. None of them. But people continue to act as if they do, and it is driving me crazy! Normal, intelligent people are backing this asshole, thinking that he isn’t going to screw them over. It is incomprehensible to me how people can blind themselves to the obvious so completely that they would fall for this shit….  I will say it one more time, and I hope they can understand it….

“And then shall many be offended,…” — Matthew 24:10

You are being lied to, by every politician who is currently seeking office, and by every one currently in office. If you don’t see that, if you don’t believe that, then you are deliberately fucking yourself in the place it will most hurt, and apparently, enjoying it…. The man, the party, and 99% of everyone you see on TV is LYING TO YOU!!!!! They are doing so every day, every hour, every minute, and you are accepting it like you are a starving sheep and what they are saying is manna from heaven.

WAKE UP!…..  I’m stopping here, my blood pressure is spiking. That’s how worked up I get when I think of how deliberately stupid people can be…. I don’t so much mind the stupid part, but the fact that they have to CHOOSE to not see what is right in front of their face just sets me off…. and so much indignation, righteous or not, is giving me indigestion….. Stay alert, ffolkes, the politicians are coming, and they’re dangerous when unregulated….

End of rant…. for now….

Not bad…. as far as I can see, this rant remains as accurate in its description of our BRC’s habit of lying as it was the day I wrote it, two years ago…. I put this here today, because I’ve been having a bit of pain recently, and can’t spend enough time in the chair to keep my train of thought going…. which is too bad, because I wanted to rant about the following articles…. For now, I am including them so y’all can see just how things are going out there in the Big Blue Room, in the political arena….

As time progresses, it appears to me, events have transpired just about how I expected; in fact, what has happened is very much akin to how I predicted it would go, at least, in the continuing saga of the NSA, and this administration’s cover-up of what they have been doing, and continue to do, to spy on their own citizenry…..

The first two articles make it clear to me that the lies are still flying out of the NSA spokesperson’s mouth, so fast she’s probably having to deal with blisters…. The third article is some pretty good reasoning, and adds fuel to my predictions of impending social crisis in the world at large….

The last article is merely another report on all of the idiots in the Republican Party who are working themselves into a frenzy over the next election, thinking they can gain back the majority they believe they have…. a foolish notion, at best, since they have LOST the physical majority they believed in….. They’re having a hard time believing the FACT now true about the United States, which is the plain and simple truth, as shown by numbers that cannot be denied….. To their absolute horror, white Christians are no longer the largest ethnic group in this country ffolkes, and the Republicans aren’t ready to acknowledge that….

No further ranting today, just go ahead and read…. it will be scary enough….

http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/apr/12/us-government-nsa-denies-aware-heartbleed-internet-bug

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/apr/12/the-nsas-heartbleed-problem-is-the-problem-with-the-nsa

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/apr/12/capitalism-isnt-working-thomas-piketty

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/apr/12/republican-presidential-hopefuls-healthcare-new-hampshire

“Anybody who wants the presidency so much that he’ll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.” — David Broder

This statement, as far as I have been able to determine by asking around, is fairly common knowledge; when I’ve related it to people, most folks, and/or ffolkes, just nod their heads & say “yep”…. However, these are the SAME people who then go out and vote for the same idiots in every election, convincing me once again the average American can’t be trusted to find the toilet without supervision, since it is obvious they can’t find their own dick with both hands and a flashlight…. Don’t mean to be vulgar (yes, I do…) but, hey, a spade’s a spade ffolkes; calling it a club or a diamond ain’t going to win very many hands…. in bridge, poker, OR canasta….

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“Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.” — Emily Dickinson

Timeless elegance, deepest meaning, and simple genius…. any more such praise, though deserved, would be gushing, which would be just ugly…. Without further silliness, I give you…. the mistress of metaphor, the princess of poetry, the spirit that haunts…. I believe Emily to be the true poet laureate of the American people…. To my mind any other candidate pales in significance, coming up short in any comparison to her body of work, short as her life may have been…. And this….. this is a really good one….

The nature of humor…. is to soothe the human spirit…. or so I’ve always believed…. The Irish tend to agree, as they’re fond of saying, “A long sleep and a good laugh are the two best cures for anything.” I try to find a bit of humor even in the darkest subject matter, though I do forget sometimes to bring it out, even if I’m aware of it…. I do tend to become wrapped up in my ranting…. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t remember how to laugh, especially at meself, and me own bozoid nature…. As you can see, just thinking about it brings out me brogue….

So, to finish up today, after the serious rant and depressing news articles in section one, here is an old school pearl, whose only parameter was set to include anything that made me smile, and feel better…. These SHOULD be able to do the same for y’all… If not, let me know, and I’ll send over a humor packet, complete with a big red nose, and a number of suggested places (geographical places, not body parts…. sheesh, get your mind out of the gutter….) to wear it, any of which will make you feel better…. For now, enjoy!…..

“In India, cold weather is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.” — Mark Twain

“As a professional humorist, I often get letters from readers who are interested in the basic nature of humor.  “What kind of a sick perverted disgusting person are you,” these letters typically ask, “that you make jokes about setting fire to a goat?” …  — Dave Barry, “Why Humor is Funny”

“Invertebrate Punster–Spinelessly unable to resist a pun–So slug me!

“Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.” — Ambrose Bierce

Do you know what floccinaucinihilipilification means?  Why yes, yes I do…. It means: “the estimation of something as valueless (encountered mainly as an example of one of the longest words in the English language).” Origin: 1735-45;  < Latin flocci  + nauci  + nihili  + pili  all meaning “of little or no value, trifling” + -fication

(Okay, so maybe it’s only funny to me….. it still stays….)

“If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.” — Bix Bender

“A guy calls 911, and in a panicked voice, says to the operator, “My buddy and I are in the woods hunting, & he accidentally shot himself! He looks dead… What should I do?” The operator, accustomed to people in a panic, says, “Calm down, sir. The first thing you should do is to make sure he’s really dead.” The guy bursts out, “Okay!…” The operator hears him put the phone down, then some steps, and some metallic noises…. then she hears a gunshot. The guy’s voice comes back on the phone & says, “Okay, he’s dead. Now what?” — Winner, America’s funniest joke, 2005 survey in a magazine

And there you have it…. another fine mess, straight from the twisted hallways of the labyrinth that exists in my head…. I don’t know about y’all, but, I feel better…. I will leave you with one final thought, from Steven Wright, who asks, with appropriate querulousness, “Of course you can’t have everything. Where would you put it all?”…..

Ta then….

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Getting ahead of myself here…. I’ve provided a rant, though not a fresh one; for freshness, read the articles you find at the link addresses included above. I’ve praised Emily, and laughed a little (in some cases, a lot…). I’m good to go, and not terribly displeased with the results, so, y’all will just have to deal with it…. or, as we used to say out on the links, play it as it lies…. If nothing else, both of us managed to stay out of serious, indictable trouble for the time spent here, so, that’s something…. See you when I see you, or not, as the case may or may not be, theoretically…. For now, just go on to your next appointment, and all will be well…..