Tag Archives: Ecclesiastes

Save some of that tripe for later….

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Ffolkes,

If I ever get to the point of sleeping all night on a regular basis, not only will I have overcome years of light but persistent insomnia, (and the pain that brought it into being…..) but, I will have, by then, figured out how to deal with having a schedule that is written, at least partially, in stone, that is to say, a solid, consistent routine, upon which I could depend to be the same each day….. My gosh, I just realized, if that ever happened, it could lead to all sorts of stuff that I haven’t ever been able to accomplish, such as an intro section that wrote itself….

I don’t have a clue as to what that might mean to me, in terms of change, or the need to adjust my mental status to conform to reality (I know, that is what happens all the time, but, I’m talking long-term, permanent adjustments, that take longer to develop, and put in place, as well as to change, if it ever becomes necessary….). If I did, that would probably give me an idea of how to cope, or what direction the changes might take; since I don’t, we’ll just have to fake it, again…..

We all have to fake it to a degree; we weren’t issued manuals at birth, so we have to feel our way through life much of the time, like groping through a dark room with hard furniture in random places, desperately craving the flesh of shins, to soothe its savage hunger. (Why is it, when we have to do stuff like that, we have to do it in the pitch dark? Is there a law of reality or something that says we have to add the terror of darkness to whatever nonsensical issue brought us into that room in the first place? It’s almost like being caught in a horror movie, with no place to go but up the stairs where all the strange noises are coming from….)

I’m pretty sure that’s not the best place for me to go, either in my head, or here, on the screen, for you to share…. Besides, I wouldn’t want to be like that dumb jock that grabs a baseball bat, then goes up the stairs to face off the bloodthirsty psycho with a machete, or the ravening horror from another dimension that will eat us all, without first at least TRYING to use the phone to call for a little backup….

Hell, if it was me, I’d spend more than just a couple minutes trying to see if there was a shotgun, or a reasonable facsimile, lying around…. I’d feel a lot better facing off a machete with that, than with a bat, no matter how much extra reach it gives me…. A 12-gauge over/under would give me all the reach I’d need…. A Glock 9mm semi-auto pistol has some pretty good stopping power, too. (Side note: is it a movie law that any house with a monster coming is not allowed to have a shotgun in it? They never do, even though the number of households in this country that have a gun in them is fairly large…. I guess they’re more concerned with drama than believability…. It IS television, or movies, you know, and is NOT real, as much as we tend to think it is…..)

I’m wandering now, aren’t I? I can feel it slipping away from me….. which means it’s time for good old #4 again….. Hold on…

Shall we Pearl?….

“Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.” — Long Chen Pa

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Below you will find several links, to articles that report on the latest developments in the ongoing saga of espionage and chicanery being played out on the world stage involving the NSA, and the extent of the spying and lying in which they have engaged, for what is turning out to be longer than anyone had realized, or, for that matter, authorized…..

The first article is from the Guardian, the UK news outlet that first published the revelations of the NSA spy program, leaked to them by Eric Snowden, the former contractor who worked for the agency before “spilling the beans”…. It is a compendium of the entire issue, from the beginning, right up to the latest of the articles, the second in the list, which reports on the issues brought up in Mr. Snowden’s recent testimony to the European Union assembly…

The third is from the Electronic Frontier Foundation, an organization that works to maintain the freedom of expression, and security of private communications over the world wide web, by bring suit in court against companies and government agencies who try to place limits on web traffic, and online with the spread of information useful to all those who use the web…. I’ll make a comment or two when you have read some of the material, and feel up to speed…. Oh, come on, you KNEW that was coming…. If nothing else, by reading these, you’ll be completely up to speed on this issue, which will stand you in good stead in your next BS session….

http://www.theguardian.com/world/the-nsa-files?INTCMP=mic_232382

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/apr/08/edwards-snowden-us-government-spied-human-rights-workers

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2014/04/why-web-needs-perfect-forward-secrecy

You know, ffolkes, I’m going to change things a bit here…. I would usually pull some excerpts from these articles, & use them as springboards for discussion of the issues, but, today, I don’t seem to be in touch with the angst needed to work up enough outrage….

In short, I don’t feel like ranting today, as much as I hate to let the chance to point out more instances of BRC shenanigans go by, without taking at least a few token shots at them, just to see them jump and dance…. In fact, I’m going to replace the intended rant for today with another old-school group of quotes, letting Smart Bee take all the shots he can fit into a five-star pearl….

“I don’t HAVE to think, I KNOW!” — The official motto of the House Republicans

“I’m just here for moral support. Ignore the gun.” — Mission Statement: National Security Agency

“Americans have different ways of saying things.  They say `elevator’, we say `lift’…they say `President’, we say `stupid psychopathic git’….” — Alexi Sayle

“There’s only one way to kill a rat…” — Robert A. Heinlein

“One final paragraph of advice: Do not burn yourselves out. Be as I am – a reluctant enthusiast… a part time crusader, a half-hearted fanatic. Save the other half of yourselves and your lives for pleasure and adventure. It is not enough to fight for the land; it is even more important to enjoy it. While you can.  While it’s still here. So get out there and hunt and fish and mess around with your friends, ramble out yonder and explore the forests, encounter the grizz, climb the mountains, bag the peaks, run the rivers, breathe deep of that yet sweet and lurid air, sit quietly for a while and contemplate the precious stillness, that lovely, mysterious and awesome space. Enjoy yourselves, keep you brain in you head and your head firmly attached to the body, the body active and alive, and I promise you this much: I promise  you this one sweet victory over our enemies, over those desk bound people with their hearts in a safety deposit box and their eyes hypnotized by desk calculators. I promise you this:  You will outlive the bastards.” — Edward Abbey

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Here are two haiku of mine, found while cruising through some old Pearls, from 2012, when haiku was the only kind of poetry I was writing, pretty much… At that time, midway through the year, I had yet to break my long fast for writing poems; that came later that year…. but, I like both of these, so, here they are again, now in the form they need to be in, rather than the informal format in which I found them…. I hope you enjoy them…

Fulfilling Gravidity

Writing for the few
with words of power and grace
often brings such pain.

~~ gigoid ~~

Morning Pearls

Such mornings as these
chase away my dreams of light.
I won’t cry again.

~~ gigoid ~~


As a bonus for those who have gotten this far today, here is another poem, but not mine…. this one is better than any I’VE ever done….

The cricket sang,
And set the sun,
And workmen finished, one by one,
   Their seam the day upon.

The low grass loaded with the dew,
The twilight stood as strangers do
With hat in hand, polite and new,
   To stay as if, or go.

A vastness, as a neighbor, came,–
A wisdom without face or name,
A peace, as hemispheres at home,–
   And so the night became.

~~ Emily Dickinson ~~


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Here is a pretty decent rant from the same section of the archives where I found the haiku, sometime in June of 2012…. As noted, I’m not in a terrific place for ranting today, so this will suffice nicely to round out this Pearl…. Balance is always a good thing….

——————————————-

The non permanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of summer and winter seasons. — Bhagavad Gita

I don’t know about you, but, I think, if someone were to sit down to write a one sentence summary of Ecclesiastes, this would be very like what they came up with. Coming as it does from the Bhagavad Gita, written prior to Ecclesiastes by several centuries, I doubt the author(s) had that in mind as a goal. It’s funny to me (ironic-funny) how often that is the case. I’ve read the religious books from several different religions, and they seem to have all been written by the same guy….

This idea led me to more research, so I spent some years trying to track down the authors responsible for all the books, and what I found is amazing…. The religious books of ALL religions on Earth WERE written by the SAME GUY. I don’t know his name, but his writing style, and the content of what was written, are the same in all of the tomes I searched. This datum is somewhat disconcerting, as it implies a conspiracy…. logic says that if all were written by the same guy, there is a reason. That reason is probably NOT in the best interests of the average person; it more likely has to do with whatever the author’s goals are….

Now, I have previously written here on religions, relating how they attempt to control the populace, to make them amenable to more control by their political counterparts. It seems now that this concept is even more sinister than I had imagined. The beloved ruling class, and the priestly hierarchies, don’t want us to know that they are controlling us. Their purpose is simple; they want us, essentially, to be their slaves…..  T

The BRC and the preachers all want the average man to work all his life, without ever realizing they are working for someone else’s benefit. The pattern is clear enough throughout history that examples are not necessary at this time, but rest assured, our beloved ruling class, with the support of the religions, is manipulating events for THEIR advantage, not ours, and has been doing so for thousands of years…..

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” — Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Let me make something clear. There are people on this planet who are not selfish. There are people who don’t wish to control others, or to manipulate others for their own benefit. There are folks who are just plain good; their spirits are free, and clean. The problem is, they are few, and far between, and not a single one of them cares a whit about controlling others. Thus, though they are likely not as affected by the manipulations of the ruling class, they are not going to be roused to action without just cause, which the ruling class will not allow to occur, if they can help it.

The number of people who are part of the beloved ruling class is very small, compared to the mass of mankind. From what I can see, that number is probably about the same as the number of people who really understand what is going on, and object to it. Let’s say that number is about 5% (probably lower, but we’ll just use this for now….) So, that makes 5% beloved ruling class, manipulating society for their own benefit, 5% ffolkes who actually see the manipulations, and 90% clueless sheep. Well, not sheep I guess, because some of them can be pretty violent. But, clueless, for sure…. This breakdown, while not exact, represents an accurate picture of society’s makeup since the dawn of civilization….

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t there more happy people? — Smart Bee

So, to bring this back around to where we started, the 5% of mankind that are actually running things have no investment in changing; they want things just the way they are, as they have been for 10,000 years. The other 5% aren’t enough to make the changes happen without the cooperation of the 90%, which the beloved ruling class will work to deny with all their resources. So, I have a new tactic which could help. See, we gotta find that guy…… What guy? Please, pay attention…. the guy who wrote all the books for the religions.

Once we find that guy, we either brainwash him, or recruit him through reason, into a re-write. The re-write could be artificially aged, and then found in some cave in the Himalayas, or in the fertile crescent. The altered text would be designed to negate, or nullify, all of the lies that the other books have perpetrated on society. Once the 90% is enlightened, I think the resulting anger at the beloved rulers and preachers will set matters aright in no time. What do you think?…. Hey, it could work!….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m going to meet an old friend for breakfast today, so I’ll bring this to a screeching halt at this point, and try to get on with the day…. Hopefully, this Pearl will live up to its name…. and, if not, there’s always tomorrow…. See y’all then, ffolkes…..

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid the dubious

dozer3

Ferrets don’t elect their kings…..

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Ffolkes,
“I’m dappled and dreary, and ready for sleep”  It’s odd that Paul Simon should know how I feel this morning… it’s even odder that I should feel like this after 8 or so hours of sleep. Aren’t we supposed to wake up with bursting energy, having filled our depleted stores through the miracle of sleep? I believe we are, so going through a whole night, and still needing rest, is somewhat discouraging, to say the least.

I’m so tired, I’m breaking the first rule of typing, taught to me so many years ago by Mr. Morgan, who always wore a pastel colored jumpsuit, a different shade for each day of the week…. You may take that information as you wish; I had to…. My typing class was on Wednesday during summer break, so we always got the same color to look at, this nauseating shade of lime sherbet (or less discreetly, vomit green)….

Any who, Mr. Morgan was big on posture and proper technique, so sitting straight and keeping one’s wrist arched over the keyboard were considered basic. I’m so tired this morning, and my back is so stiff and sore, I’m listing heavily to the right, and my wrists are resting on the edge of the laptop, moving the fingers without even lifting off where I’m leaning. Sitting straight is what I’d call an impossible dream for me, and leaning on one supportive arm or the other is now a basic rule-of-life to avoid major pain. So, Mr. Morgan can take his posture and technique, and firmly put them where the sun don’t shine….

I suppose I’m going to have to suck it up, and either go back to bed, returning later to finish this, or just get on with it. For now, we’ll push on, and hope we find a pocket of energy down the line a bit. Sometimes they hide….. and then pop up when not expected. Usually, it is at a good time, so I’ll trust to fate today (something I rarely do, deliberately…. as you may know from previous posts, I’m not big on believing that fate is written in stone, so I don’t give in to it very often….)  If this works, all well and good; if not, well,….. fuck it…. Shall we Pearl?…..

“Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), “Circles”
___________________________________

Yesterday, I sat down in the afternoon to do some pearl diving, as my stash was getting low. Out of the first ten pearls offered up for my perusal, the following entries, all but one from Smart Bee itself, popped up one after another, just as if they were meant to be together. Upon rearranging the order slightly, I found them to be correct; together they make a fine little old-school pearl. So, without further ado, follow the bouncing thought bubble to the ending point, where you will find yourself in possession of a valuable piece of virtual wisdom…. or possibly, a great deal of confusion…. your choice, both are free of charge….

Although everyone is entitled to be stupid, some abuse this privilege. — Smart Bee

Keep the pointy end forward and the dirty side down. — Smart Bee

I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, my lad.  It’s dead! — Smart Bee

Tomorrow & tomorrow & tomorrow creeps in this rutabaga… — Smart Bee

Ignorance of one’s ignorance is the greatest ignorance.– Smart Bee

“YOW!!  I’m in a very clever and adorable INSANE ASYLUM!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

I think the final line from Zippy punctuates the idea very well, ending not only with wisdom, but with two exclamation points to drive it home!!…. Such courteous service, you won’t find just anywhere…. Most bloggers would just abandon you, leaving you to figure stuff out on your own. But, not here at gigoid’s house.. we’re all about customer service….. I hope you enjoyed the ride; you may now go on to the next section…..
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Ogden Nash is one of my favorite poets, mainly for his sense of irreverence. Below you will find three poems that demonstrate his mastery in different ways. The second poem, Fleas, is considered to be the shortest poem ever written, and I believe it holds the Guinness Book of Records title for that category….. Enjoy!…..

A Caution To Everybody

Consider the auk;
Becoming extinct because he forgot how to fly, and could only walk.
Consider man, who may well become extinct
Because he forgot how to walk and learned how to fly before he thinked.
~~~~~~~~~
Fleas

Adam
Had’em
~~~~~~~~~
Listen…

There is a knocking in the skull,
An endless silent shout
Of something beating on a wall,
And crying, “Let me out!”

That solitary prisoner
Will never hear reply.
No comrade in eternity
Can hear the frantic cry.

No heart can share the terror
That haunts his monstrous dark.
The light that filters through the chinks
No other eye can mark.

When flesh is linked with eager flesh,
And words run warm and full,
I think that he is loneliest then,
The captive in the skull.

Caught in a mesh of living veins,
In cell of padded bone,
He loneliest is when he pretends
That he is not alone.

We’d free the incarcerate race of man
That such a doom endures
Could only you unlock my skull,
Or I creep into yours.

All three poems by Ogden Nash
___________________________________

My search for pearls today keeps coming up with stuff more appropriate to the old style; nothing to rant about so far. But the following group of pearls does have a conclusion in mind, and for bonus points, you can tell me your thoughts on that in the comments section below…. good hunting!…. and don’t hurt yourself looking for the point; it won’t be on the quiz……

“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.” — Stephen Roberts

There is no ornament like virtue,
There is no misery like worry,
There is no protection like patience,
There is no friend equal to generosity.
— Nagarjuna (c. 100-200 A.D.)

When an Agnostic dies, does he go to the Great Perhaps? — Smart Bee, in sardonic mode, tongue firmly planted in cheek….

The wise man’s eyes are in his head; but the fool walketh in darkness: and I myself perceived also that one event happeneth to them all.
Then said I in my heart, As it happeneth to the fool so it happeneth even to me; and why was I then more wise?  Then I said in my heart, that this is also vanity.
For there is no remembrance of the wise more than of the fool for ever; seeing that which now is in the days to come shall all be forgotten.  And how dieth the wise man?  As the fool.
— Ecclesiastes 2:14-16

“Is this bullshit or fertilizer?” — Smart Bee

There you go….. hope you have as much fun with it as I did….. and, sorry, if my over-enthusiastic handling of the various parts has caused them to appear somewhat bedraggled…. they’ll fluff out in the sunshine….
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Six of one, half-dozen of the other….. that’s how it shakes down around here in the mornings…. This Pearl, though light on original material, feels like a good one, so I’m not going to even think about it….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

No touching the platypus, ma’am….

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Ffolkes,
Now that I am up and ready to write, all the great stuff that was floating around in my mind as I lay in bed has disappeared. This is not unusual, in my experience. I think it’s a human thing….

Human or not, it’s a bummer, as the stuff I thought of was pretty cool. Now I don’t know for sure what I’m going to do, as I didn’t make a backup plan, trusting, poorly, as it turns out, that I would have plenty of stuff to write about when I started today. I suppose I’ll have to just fake it again…. It’s not like this hasn’t happened before, is it?…..

Even short paragraphs will do for the introductory section, and we have almost blundered our way through enough of them to make this worthwhile. Hmm…. maybe if I apologize ahead of time for this, it will go over better…. Nah! No way I’m apologizing for this; it isn’t my fault. It’s that bloody fool Murphy at work again, I know it…. I know, I know, paranoid…. but it’s not paranoia if they are really out to get you, and I have documented evidence…. so there….

Having thus completed the minimum number of paragraphs (3) allowed by law in an intro, (the law says nothing about whether the paragraphs have to be good, or actually contain any real content…) we will now return to our regular program, which promises to be an interesting trip today. Shall we Pearl? We shall…..
___________________________________

“The non permanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of summer and winter seasons. “– Bhagavad Gita

I don’t know about you, but I think if someone were to sit down and write a one sentence summary of Ecclesiastes, this would be what they came up with. Coming as it does from the Bhagavad Gita, written prior to Ecclesiastes by several centuries, I doubt the author(s) had that in mind as a goal. It’s funny to me (ironic-funny) how often that is the case. I’ve read the religious books from several different religions, and they seem to have all been written by the same guy….

This idea led me to more research, so I spent some years trying to track down the authors responsible for all the books, and what I found is amazing…. The religious books of ALL religions on Earth WERE written by the SAME GUY. I don’t know his name, but his writing style, and the content of what was written, are the same in all of the tomes I searched. This datum is somewhat disconcerting, as it implies a conspiracy…. logic says that if all were written by the same guy, there is a reason. That reason is probably NOT in the best interests of the average person; it more likely has to do with whatever the author’s goals are….

Now, I have previously written here on religions, and how they attempt to control the populace, and make them amenable to more control by their political counterparts. It seems now that this concept is even more sinister than I had imagined.

The beloved ruling class, and the priestly hierarchies, don’t want us to know that they are controlling us. Their purpose is simple; they want us to be their slaves. They want the average man to work all his life, and never realize that they are working for someone else’s benefit.

The pattern is clear enough that examples are not necessary at this time, but rest assured, our beloved ruling class, with the support of the religions, is manipulating events for THEIR advantage, not ours, and has been doing so for thousands of years…..

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” — Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Let me make something clear. There are people on this planet who are not selfish. There are people who don’t wish to control others, or to manipulate others for their own benefit. There are folks who are just plain good; their spirits are free, and clean. (A lot of them apparently end up on WordPress….)

The problem is, they are few, and far between, and not a single one of them cares a whit about controlling others. Thus, though they are likely not as affected by the manipulations of the ruling class, they are not going to be roused to action without just cause, which the ruling class will not allow to occur, if they can help it.

The number of people who are part of the beloved ruling class is very small, compared to the mass of mankind. From what I can see, that number is probably about the same as the number of people who really understand what is going on, and object to it. Let’s say that number is about 5% (probably lower, but we’ll just use this for now….)

So, that makes 5% beloved ruling class, manipulating society for their own benefit, 5% ffolkes who actually see the manipulations, and 90% clueless sheep. Well, not sheep I guess, because some of them can be pretty violent. But, clueless, for sure…. This breakdown, while not exact, represents society’s makeup since the dawn of civilization….

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t there more happy people? — Smart Bee

So, to bring this back around to where we started, the 5% of mankind that are actually running things have no investment in changing; they want things just the way they are, as they have been for 10,000 years. The other 5% aren’t enough to make the changes happen without the cooperation of the 90%, which the beloved ruling class will work to deny with all their resources.

With all that in mind, I have a new tactic which could help. See, we gotta find that guy…… What guy? Please, pay attention…. the guy who wrote all the books for the religions.

Once we find that guy, we either brainwash him, or recruit him through reason, into a re-write. The re-write could be artificially aged, and then found in some cave in the Himalayas, or in the fertile crescent. The altered text would be designed to negate, or nullify, all of the lies that the other books have perpetrated on society. Once the 90% is enlightened, I think the resulting anger at the beloved rulers and preachers will set matters aright in no time.

What do you think?…. Hey, it could work!….
___________________________________

A Gleam of Sunshine

This is the place. Stand still, my steed,
Let me review the scene,
And summon from the shadowy Past
The forms that once have been.

The Past and Present here unite
Beneath Time’s flowing tide,
Like footprints hidden by a brook,
But seen on either side.

Here runs the highway to the town;
There the green lane descends,
Through which I walked to church with thee,
O gentlest of my friends!

The shadow of the linden-trees
Lay moving on the grass;
Between them and the moving boughs,
A shadow, thou didst pass.

Thy dress was like the lilies,
And thy heart as pure as they:
One of God’s holy messengers
Did walk with me that day.

I saw the branches of the trees
Bend down thy touch to meet,
The clover-blossoms in the grass
Rise up to kiss thy feet,

“Sleep, sleep to-day, tormenting cares,
Of earth and folly born!”
Solemnly sang the village choir
On that sweet Sabbath morn.

Through the closed blinds the golden sun
Poured in a dusty beam,
Like the celestial ladder seen
By Jacob in his dream.

And ever and anon, the wind,
Sweet-scented with the hay,
Turned o’er the hymn-book’s fluttering leaves
That on the window lay.

Long was the good man’s sermon,
Yet it seemed not so to me;
For he spake of Ruth the beautiful,
And still I thought of thee.

Long was the prayer he uttered,
Yet it seemed not so to me;
For in my heart I prayed with him,
And still I thought of thee.

But now, alas! the place seems changed;
Thou art no longer here:
Part of the sunshine of the scene
With thee did disappear.

Though thoughts, deep-rooted in my heart,
Like pine-trees dark and high,
Subdue the light of noon, and breathe
A low and ceaseless sigh;

This memory brightens o’er the past,
As when the sun, concealed
Behind some cloud that near us hangs
Shines on a distant field.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I realize this is fairly long, but some pearls just shine more brightly than others…..
___________________________________

“My other computer keeps calling me Dave.” — Smart Bee

Scary, scary, scary, for anyone who gets the reference…. To anyone else it will be meaningless, and pretty silly…. Even those who know the reference may not fully understand the level of fear that this statement can bring to anyone who KNOWS computers, and understands their infinite possibilities. The movie was so excellently done that it gave a lot of the feeling, but without that knowledge, the actual fear level Dave was experiencing could not be fully fathomed.

However, the computer in “2001”, HAL by name, was programmed according to the programming languages that had been developed at the time the movie was made. I think, if they had used the following language, things might not have turned out so badly…. I give you, VALGOL…..

From its modest beginnings in Southern California’s San Fernando Valley, VALGOL is enjoying a dramatic surge of popularity across the computer industry. Here is a sample program:

LIKE, Y*KNOW(I MEAN)START
IF PIZZA = LIKE BITCHEN AND GUY = LIKE TUBULAR AND
VALLEY GIRL = LIKE GRODY**MAX(FERSURE)**2 THEN
FOR I = LIKE 1 TO OH*MAYBE 100
DO*WAH – (DITTY**2)
BARF(I)=TOTALLY GROSS(OUT)
SURE
LIKE BAG THIS PROGRAM
REALLY
LIKE TOTALLY (Y*KNOW)
IM*SURE
GOTO THE MALL

When the user makes a syntax error, the interpreter displays the message:

GAG ME WITH A SPOON!!

— THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #5: VALGOL  — Smart Bee

Okay, so it’s not my best effort. It will be funnier to those who are computer geeks than to those who are not. I don’t like to limit the potential audience like that, but sometimes ya gotta go with the gut…. Any who, it filled up some column inches….  🙂
___________________________________

Writing for the few
with words of power and grace
often brings such pain.

gigoid

Well, in looking back, I must say, it’s definitely one of my more unique Pearls, in spite of, or perhaps because of the somewhat dubious quality of the subject matter. Ah well, another one bites the dust…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!