Ffolkes,
I am finding my PTSD to be more of an inconvenience these days, now that it has chosen to re-activate itself as a significant factor in my life. The stress of living in poverty, with the uncertainty of whether it will ever change, has brought me to this point, and I can’t say that I am real happy about it…. I’m not sleeping well at all, and the days are longer and longer, especially when I’m tired all the damn time. It’s not like I have any important stuff to do, other than to make sure the stuff is done for my disability case, and that only takes a few minutes of time, separated by months and months of waiting for them to do something with what I submit to them….

Now, I’m once again on hold while they meander through their inanities, taking their sweet time, and I sit here fuming…. I now have to go on November 8th to an appointment with a psychiatrist, so he can generate a report on the status of my PTSD….. all because I happened to mention it in one of the papers I submitted, and they don’t have any record of treatment for it….. Well, of course they don’t…. I haven’t been able to afford to go to a psychiatrist for years, not at $30 or more a pop for the co-payment; I can’t afford to take all of the medications ordered for me, much less add on an expense like that. So, I’ve had to just live with it, just like I live with the constant pain in my back and hips, or the constant fatigue I feel from my diverticulosis…. and, I’ve learned to cope with the constant feeling of impending doom, and the edge of hysteria just under the surface, ready to have me burst into tears at the drop of an emotional hat.

Once this doctor gives them his opinion, I may just be able to get some kind of real decision as to my whether or not to award my disability….. if they deny it a second time, I am not sure just how badly I will react…. I am already living on the edge, and suffering another delay will just about be a final straw….. and I find it to be a bit ominous that my mind refuses to think about it…..

It’s like it is hiding from me exactly what it plans to do if that kind of obstacle is thrown up in front of me…. and if it is hiding that knowledge from ME, it means it knows that I won’t approve, which means the planned explosion is more violent than even I will consider, if in my right mind…. The trouble is, if this happens like that, I know I WON’T be in my right mind…. The fantasies that I have envisioned at times in my head, thinking about what I’d like to do to those bureaucratic assholes, are, to be honest, pretty graphically horrendous…. bloody body parts are a minor issue, believe me…..

Ah well, I guess my violent fantasies will have to wait…. again. Throughout a fairly long life, I’ve managed to avoid violent behavior pretty well, outside of work; dealing with violence at work was, for a long time, the order of the day, but that is another story for another time. Mostly, I was able to find other methods of dealing with my problems in life; I’ve always believed what Salvor Hardin said, (one of the protagonists in Isaac Asimov’s Foundation series of books), to wit: “Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.”  But, it has always been there, and I’ve dealt with it, on my terms, as well as its own…. and I’m pretty damn good at it, when I choose to engage….

I suppose I’m just going to have to take it as it plays out, and make my decisions “ala carte”, so to speak. It is what I end up doing every time, anyway….. as do we all. Life changes on us, every day, every way, and we can either hold on and learn to enjoy the ride, or spend our time picking ourselves up from wherever we have been tossed, and trying to clamber back aboard…. I guess blowing up the train won’t help this time…. Such is life in the fast lane, ffolkes….. I’m done whining now, so…. Shall we Pearl?….

“Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.” — Things We Can Learn From Dogs
__________________________________

“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves money from the public treasure. From that moment on the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most money from the public treasury, with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy followed by a dictatorship. The average age of the world’s great civilizations has been two hundred years. These nations have progressed through the following sequence: from bondage to spiritual faith, from spiritual faith to liberty, from liberty to abundance, from abundance to selfishness, from selfishness to complacency, from complacency to apathy, from apathy to dependency, from dependency back to bondage.” — Alexander Frazer Tyler (1748-1813), — The Decline and Fall of the Athenian Republic

It has been established pretty well that the premises as presented in this scholarly tome from the 19th century are essentially true; most scholars agree with Mssr. Tyler’s assessment of historical forces as they have played out, with very little to pick at that doesn’t reek of jealousy for not having written it themselves. In light of this, it then becomes the task of the moment to run a comparative study, to gauge the current temper of the country we inhabit, and form an opinion as to where on the scale we are living now….. This, of course, will no doubt engender as many different responses as their are responders….. fortunately for the time factor involved, the number of responses is naturally limited to one…. my own. You may, of course, use the comments section to respond, and are welcome, even encouraged to do so…. but, if not, here is my take on it….

I thought for a time that we should be placed in the “apathy” stage, or possibly the “complacency” level. But, then I realized that, no, we are most certainly caught, as we have been for some time, in the “selfish” stage…. It began, really, with Nixon, obviously, as he was the perfect example of a man who went into public service for purely selfish reasons…. he loved the power that being President, or any other public office, gave him, and the simple fact that, as a public official, people HAD to pay attention to him. My whole life, I always saw him as that geeky kid nobody would ever pick for their team, who discovered the attraction that being an elected official had for that kind of emotional neediness.

It is dangerous, I know, to be critical of Nixon’s replacement, JFK; his assassination guaranteed his martyr status for the liberal left. But, regardless, he was far from perfect, and in fact, was one of the most effective manipulators of public opinion ever to grace the White House. His relatively liberal political agenda favored the middle class, not because of his overpowering virtue, but because he saw that as his power base, and was, in some ways, fundamentally opposed to much of the agenda of the political right. That opposition is why the corporate masters had him killed; they already had their paid lackey, LBJ, in place to assume the role they wished him to play, so, all in all, they lost very little time at all in the solidification of the corporate grasp on the throat of America….

Then, of course, came Saint Ronnie…. the very heart of evil. A man who smiled really big, as he repeatedly drove his knife into the backs of the American middle and lower classes. He probably actually believed the whole “trickle down” theory of economics that he postulated and forced on the American people; I can see him being that actively, deliberately stupid; he did, after all, graduate from USC…. that unashamed cradle of the 1%, where virtually the entire graduating law classes step right into politically connected positions with prestigious firms who act as the defenders of the elite. I don’t think that the legal term, pro bono, is even taught at USC; doing something for nothing doesn’t compute in their world….it’s all about the billable hours….

Ah, well, I could spout off for a long time, listing the crimes perpetrated on the American public over the last 50 years by the corporate masters who control the world; even those who get into power with ideas of reform are either ridiculed for manufactured immorality, blocked by oppositional lawmakers, or victimized by lies and innuendo spread maliciously by the conservative right, that easily manipulable segment of the population so beloved by the ruling classes for their sheer stupidity, and the ease with which they can be misled.

But, trying to let folks know about the people out there who are screwing them left and right is kind of like shouting into the wind; tiring, and not very productive. Let it suffice to say that I believe we are deeply ensconced in the stage of history known as “selfish” according to the above scale. I don’t think there is much doubt of it, though I’m willing to hear arguments…. feel free to comment below. In the mean time, I’m going to let this thousand or so words on the subject speak for themselves…. Don’t forget to vote, little as it means…. it is the only gesture we have to make, so make it count….

“I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.” — Wilson Mizner

As smart as a politician/lawyer is honest. — Smart Bee
__________________________________

“What do you want me to do?  Say it again in worse English?” — Robert Frost, when asked about the meaning of one of his poems.

A Late Walk

When I go up through the mowing field,
The headless aftermath,
Smooth-laid like thatch with the heavy dew,
Half closes the garden path.

And when I come to the garden ground,
The whir of sober birds
Up from the tangle of withered weeds
Is sadder than any words

A tree beside the wall stands bare,
But a leaf that lingered brown,
Disturbed, I doubt not, by my thought,
Comes softly rattling down.

I end not far from my going forth
By picking the faded blue
Of the last remaining aster flower
To carry again to you.

Robert Frost
__________________________________

WARNING: X-Rated Material below…. If the following offends you, well, hey, don’t read it…. I happen to think it’s funny, so, deal with it….  🙂

I know I’ve spoken to you before about the darker side of Pooh…. He’s actually, for a Bear with Very Little Brains, a pretty swinging guy, and stays active in a part of town that I’m don’t even go to…. In fact, he has been caught en flagrante delecto on numerous occasions, and has never shown a bit of regret, or a shred of remorse. He is an incorrigible sex addict, which is, when you stop to think about it, really, really sick…. I give you now more examples of just how nasty he has been known to be….

— Bother! said Pooh, with a sexy grin, as he tied up his favorite redhead!!

— Bother! said Pooh, as Macgyver ran to him with his pants down.

— Bother! said Pooh, when Christopher Robin came in his mouth.

— Bother! said Pooh, as Piglet pulled out the Anal Intruder.

— Bother! said Pooh, as he rolled over and lit a cigarette.

And, worst of all…..

— Bother! said Pooh, as he flashed a group of nuns.

I wouldn’t have believed it, if I didn’t see them there in black and white….. Hey, it’s not any harder to believe this, than it is to believe some of the shit coming out of Mitt the Twitt’s mouth, now, is it?….   🙂
__________________________________

Well, it is definitely not the best Pearl to ever come down the Pike, but, it has the advantage of being finished, so it will have to do. Now I hope I can get it published without too much hassle…. In any case, it has been a bit of a struggle, so I’m counting this one as a win….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.gigoid

Kowabunga!