It’s been a good while since the sight of a blank screen in the morning scared me overmuch; I’ve learned to deal with that particular fear rather well, I think. This morning, though, I can’t help but feel a bit of trepidation…. it’s so blank, and so white! Just the color (or lack of it….) is enough to start the trembling and gibbering that usually accompanies my fears of this nature…. It’s not that I’m a coward; the hundreds of fights I’ve had to jump into, in order to stop a battle, or to control someone in a rage,  gave me more than enough proof that I’m not afraid of physical harm…. No, it’s the threat of a blank mind that gives me the heebie-jeebies….

But, in the last few weeks, I’ve found the solution, for the most part….. It’s not always pretty, but, it’s always a legal document, at least, it’s legal once I’ve let my head wander, dragging along my fingers, prancing them around the keyboard like little martinets. I always manage to find four or five paragraphs of relatively useless information have been deposited on screen, fulfilling my needs for an intro, at least from a legal point of view….. Artistically speaking, it’s a whole different ball of wax, but, nobody’s giving me any prizes or salary anyway, so it matters little in the long run. It gets me into the first section, where I can allow my creative side, whether it wants to rant, or go old-school, have its head…..

Still, there’s a small part of me that regrets my inability to find a template, or something consistent that could be used in this section to get us where we need to go….. It would make life easier, to be sure, but, since it doesn’t seem like it will ever happen, I don’t think I’m going to hold my breath until it does…. So, y’all will have to continue to suffer through these little personal conversations with myself, occasionally laughing, occasionally groaning, and often ducking in alarm, as some pretty dangerous concepts get thrown around at times, without any warning to speak of….

Then there are those mornings when, Murphy notwithstanding, things go badly, and I have to resort to one of my emergency procedures to get us out of the intro… Those days can be pretty tough to handle, especially if I am forced to resort to any of the procedures numbered 3 or 7….. those are both somewhat disruptive to the space-time continuum, and it can take a while for normality to resume its customary shapes…. Of course, I offer extra doses of Valium on those days, so it all balances out, mostly….

Why, look! It’s happened again….. Here we are, four and more paragraphs in, and not a single coherent word to be seen…. Oh, I know, it all SEEMS to be lucid, and reasonable, but, you’re not the one in my head, and can’t see what is really going on in there, so, be happy that is the case…. Even the strong have been known to faint in horror when confronted with that stuff too early in the day…. Regardless of all that, we’ve reached the legal line again, so we are now cleared to take off…. Y’all had best return to your seats, buckle up, and take your medication, because the ride is about to begin….

Shall we Pearl?….
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This is going to be a strange little pearl…. I started out trying to pick quotes that would create an image of our society, showing not its strengths, but its weaknesses, with the intention of making fun of how silly it all is…. Well, I got a picture like that, but, silly isn’t the word I’d use to describe the image…. “Sad”, or “pathetic”, would be more accurate, I think…. It doesn’t even hit all of the high spots, in terms of all the stuff that is wrong with our culture, but, it does give a good idea of how fractured and disorganized it has become over time, until today, when nobody alive can make heads or tails out of it….. So, being strange, and sad, it thus gives a pretty good picture…. or, at least an accurate one….

“A hundred years ago we were much smarter; then you lived until you died and  not until you were just run over.” — Will Rogers

“In the beginning was nonsense, and the nonsense was with God, and the nonsense was God.” –Friedrich Nietzsche

“Forward goes the vanguard of the lunatic fringe, tickling the death clowns of normality.” — HealNorm

“I’d like to see people, instead of spending so much time on the ethical problem, get after the problems that really affect the people of this country.” — Richard Nixon

“Whenever we read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and torturous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness, with which more than half the bible is filled, it would seem more consistent that we called it the word of a demon than the Word of God. It is a history of wickedness that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind.” — Thomas Paine — The Age of Reason

“When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer ‘Present’ or ‘Not guilty.'” — Theodore Roosevelt

“Fortune is like glass,–the brighter the glitter, the more easily broken.” — Publius Syrus (42 BC) — Maxim 280

I feel as if this is not quite clear, so, I will add one more little powerful quote, to put it all into the proper perspective…..

“It’s so clean. It’s certainly uncontaminated by cheese.” — Smart Bee
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So far today, all I seem to be able to produce is crap, or a reasonable facsimile thereof…. To avoid splashing any of that onto any other artists, especially those who have my respect and admiration, I’ll put in one of my own poems today, and hope for the best…. Enjoy!….

I should probably rant here, and actually have a good subject on which to go off…. However, my mood is such that I don’t have the patience to sit and be logical right now…. Not to mention the stiffness in my hips and back that is making it hard to sit for long…. Already this morning, I’ve been compelled to take a number of breaks, to stop my legs from going numb, or to prevent stiffness from building up…. Any who, all my physical handicaps aside, I just don’t feel like ranting, as I’d probably not just go off, but would most likely go over the top…. which is something y’all should strongly hope you never have to witness….

So, I’ll fall back on an old-school pearl to save the day…. In deference to my own lack of purpose this morning, I’ll let Smart Bee pick the subjects, and see what is in its little mind to highlight for discussion…. On the greater majority of times I let it have its own way, it seems to do very well, so…. off we go… Where we will end up has yet to be determined…. I hope it’s funny, though, I’m in the mood for funny….

“Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.” — Sigmund Freud

“And on the 8th day Man, unable to cope, discovered drugs.” — Smart Bee

A traveler at Sparta, standing long upon one leg, said to a Lacedaemonian, “I do not believe you can do as much.” “True,” said he, “but every goose can.” — Plutarch (46-120 AD) — Remarkable Speeches

But it’s all right now.
I’ve learned my lesson well.
You see, you can’t please everyone,
So you gotta please yourself!

— Ricky Nelson

“The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?” — Sigmund Freud (1856-1939)

“Never underestimate the power of soup.”– Smart Bee

“I do not believe in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.” — Thomas Carlyle

Well, I was right about one part…. it is strange, for certain…. I like it, though…. Kind of like the runt of the litter, y’know, it’s always the cutest….
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Okay, that does it…. I’m done for the day, and nothing you could say or do could conceivably make me do it over…. Even before I go to proof it, I know it will be one of the oddest Pearls I’ve ever created, so, I’m a bit leery…. Oh, well, it ain’t getting done while I sit here moaning about it…..

I’m totally unsure of just how this got done, but, it’s done, and didn’t come out all that badly…. It won’t win any prizes, I’m pretty sure, but, it won’t hurt anyone in particular, unless they identify too strongly with one part or another, so, that removes it from the realm of being a public nuisance…. which, on a day like today, is the best I can hope for…. Tomorrow will be better, or different, whichever comes first….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.