A green Corvair and two six packs…..

Posted on July 5, 2012 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
Tired phrases trudge past my inner eye, row after row of regimented words in straight lines, stepping in time. As each row passes, it turns away, as if in shame, never falling out of step, never breaking free from the pattern. I search each row, looking for the words to grab attention, words of power, and grace, words to inspire, to bring laughter and joy…. though I search in vain, hope remains, quiet and reserved, but nonetheless strong, hope that this new day will bring something good….. or at least something less bad….

For anyone who has never experienced clinical depression, it is hard to understand how one’s feelings can turn into an enemy. It is hard to explain, too, even for those of us who experience such feelings on a regular basis. The exact process is subjective in nature, which means that much of what is felt cannot be explained in terms that mean anything to someone else; each of us is unique in this respect. Our feelings are our own, and though everyone has similar feelings, they can never be exactly the same. This makes the process of understanding what someone else goes through difficult to pin down, since all of us have our own set of preferences and prejudices. What stimulates one person to rage is seen as humorous to another; what makes one person feel good may cause another to feel real emotional pain.

Thus, the fight against depression becomes very solitary, at least in this respect. We cannot KNOW what another feels, or why those particular feelings cause such distress. In this we are each alone, and must come to our own resolution. But, each of us, while ultimately alone in our battle, can feel supported, and even loved, as long as we allow ourselves to let other folks in. One doesn’t have to have the answer in order to help, one just needs to be empathetic and compassionate.

Dogs and cats know this; when we feel down, our pets will often come sit by us, not interfering, but just being there, a comforting presence. They can supply no words to soother our pain, but just by being there, and showing their love, they are showing how each of us can help each other in times of stress…..

I’ve been fighting my depression, and pain, for several days now, with only moderate success. It’s kind of a vicious cycle, hard to break free, that starts with increased pain in my lower back and hips. As the pain rises, my mood sinks, and I get cranky. When I’m cranky, I tend to isolate myself, as I don’t want to alienate anyone by biting them, figuratively, or literally, so I keep to myself.

Being a social creature, this further annoys me, as I begin to think about why I am so alone (thanks to my ex-boss’s bureaucratic blitzkrieg, I was forced to leave work, never had a chance to contact any of my friends from work… and in the process lost all contact with them….). This becomes a downward spiral, emotionally, and I get increasingly withdrawn, which makes it harder to want to be with other people….

Eventually, I hit bottom, and begin the long climb back up to normalcy, or as close to that as I ever get…. and one of the things that helps me climb is the process of creating these Daily Pearls of Virtual Wisdom. Just being immersed in profound thoughts and words of wisdom from history’s wisest thinkers has a beneficial effect on me; reading of any kind is good therapy to my spirit. Writing helps too, even if what I write isn’t connected to what I’m experiencing, as it is today; just the process of discussing a Pearl is cathartic for me….

So, that all being said, in such a long-winded fashion, I think it’s time to Pearl…. Shall we?….. I know it will make me feel better, and I hope it does the same for you…. let’s go!…..

“Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.” — Alan Watts
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And Death Shall Have No Dominion

And death shall have no dominion.
Dead man naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan’t crack;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Though they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.

Dylan Thomas

Given the state of my state, I needed something strong like this…. one may or may not agree with what D.T. is saying here, but it cannot be disputed that he says it strongly…. enjoy!
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INTRODUCTION, n. A social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies. The introduction attains its most malevolent development in this century, being, indeed, closely related to our political system. Every American being the equal of every other American, it follows that everybody has the right to know everybody else, which implies the right to introduce without request or permission. The Declaration of Independence should have read thus:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, and the right to make that of another miserable by thrusting upon him an incalculable quantity of acquaintances; liberty, particularly the liberty to introduce persons to one another without first ascertaining if they are not already acquainted as enemies; and the pursuit of another’s happiness with a running pack of strangers.” — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

In the last 11 months of posting every day, the concept of the introduction has been one of close interest to me, since I am compelled by the nature of the beast to come up with one every day. Now, at at last, I have a bit more understanding of why the process gives me such a hard time…. or, at the least, why Ambrose thinks it does…..

I know, I know, he’s talking about a different type of introduction altogether…. but this is English, and I can make whatever specious, tentative connections of meaning I want, as long as it’s not misspelled. Besides, having to read my introductory paragraphs may just be as unpleasant an experience as having to meet someone you never wished to meet, but had to in order to remain friends with someone….. Of course, there is no such constriction here, so maybe it’s all an illusion, and this is a huge waste of time and energy….. ya think?

Nah…. we’re not going there…. there IS a purpose to this. I just lost track of what it was, and have been merrily typing away for about two and a half paragraphs now, trying to see if the idea I had would settle back into my consciousness. But, I note that Murphy has not yet made an appearance today, so this must be his opening salvo, and I can blame him for taking my idea and hiding it where the sun don’t shine…. which guarantees that I’m not going to go looking for it.

And neither are you, so just forget it…. we’ll go on to the next pearl, and leave this one where it can do no more harm…. in the past…..
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“Make no mistake: the weeds will win. Nature bats last.” — Robert Pyle

I love it when I find one like this. Ten words. Infinite wisdom….. For some reason, which is quite clear to many of us on the other end of the spectrum of human experience, a large portion of folks cannot understand this idea, or do not try to understand it. The latter part of that statement is probably the more accurate; most people just don’t think at all.

But, regardless of why they do not comprehend it, the fact remains that homo sapiens is a part of Nature, not separate from it; everything that happens to Nature happens to us, and vice versa. Our species has a niche on the evolutionary scale of life, a niche that overlaps with those of a great number of other species. We all use the same physical resources, consume the same foods, breathe the same air, and inhabit the same space…..

However, our species, as noted above, is fragmented in terms of how we view the ecosphere. An unfortunately large number of people view the rest of the planet as their own property, to do with as they please. They do not take into account the other life forms that are present on that planet; they also refuse to acknowledge the finite limits to the physical resources they are planning to plunder, consuming them at a rate guaranteed to use them all up within a very few more years.

In the process of consuming these physical resources, our species is also making changes to the environment, by the pumping of solid waste gases into the atmosphere, causing the ambient temperature of the planet to rise. With this rise in temperature, we are now experiencing the beginning of major climate changes that will increase exponentially over time, and will raise the water level on the planet by melting the polar ice caps, until much of the current land will be covered in sea water.

These observations are not speculation. The beginning effects are already being observed, and are simply more proof of the accuracy of the speculations. The tipping point may have already been reached, and there may not be anything we can do now to reverse the process. So, what we will see in the next 100 years is the opening battle of the real war for survival, a war which we have caused ourselves, by insisting on carrying out policies that are ultimately self-destructive. To use the analogy correctly, it is now Nature’s turn at bat. And Nature always wins….. Even if, or rather, when we lose, Nature will still be on the field…..
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I never know what will happen when I am in this state of mind. Sometimes it comes out well, other times not so much…. and because I’m in this state, I’m no judge of which it may be…. Ah, well, c’est la vie…. It’s all good, as my son is wont to say…. we don’t always see it, but it’s always all good….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

A bond of legacy weighs heavily….

Posted on July 4, 2012 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
The following is a post I wrote for a site called GoodBlogs, for this holiday in 2010. You may note that a couple of the pearls were used again recently…. but they remain valid…. and this goes to show that on the subject of patriotism, my viewpoint hasn’t changed in the last couple of years; in fact it is even more pronounced now…. Abondanza!…..

Musings of an Independent Nature

Independence Day is one of the few holidays I respect, since it was not created merely to stimulate the economy, as were many of the modern days on the calendar that we are told are “special”. As such, I’d like to pay it the honor of recognition.

In doing so, today’s group of pearls will walk a very dangerous line, as they deal primarily with two subjects that are often unwise to discuss (especially together), i.e. politics and religion. It is generally considered to be unwise because no other subjects arouse as much passion, or as much anger as do these two when the proponents of one or another creed feels challenged by the beliefs of another.

However, lest we forget, the first, and perhaps the most important, of the reasons we fought to be free of English rule was religious freedom; our entire government is based on the principle of separation of church and state. Too often today, those who would call themselves patriots are in reality interested only in preserving their own religious beliefs, and would deny to others the same prerogative.

July 4th, to my way of thinking, is a day to celebrate the diversity of thought allowed by the Constitution, to honor Truth in whatever guise it may take. I find it immensely interesting, and satisfying to note that the quotes I’ve chosen are the thoughts of people from a variety of different periods in our history, but all are alike in their intransigent resistance to any limits of thought or choice……

To forestall any flaming responses, or misunderstanding, I will also state at his point, that just because I have included a pearl, doesn’t necessarily mean that I endorse the same ideas. It also doesn’t mean that I don’t; as a matter of fact, I agree with most of what follows. But, most is not all, and as far as my own thoughts, they are my own; I’ve learned not to share all of them with others, as they have a tendency to make folks uneasy, or even angry. That is unfortunate, but, there it is. Human nature, being what it is, always has the tendency to “shoot the messenger”. I don’t mind; it keeps me on my toes……meantime, enjoy now these statements of belief by a number of important historical figures, and others…….

“But the greatest of all reformers of the depraved religion of his own country was Jesus of Nazareth. Abstracting what is really his from the rubbish in which it is buried, easily distinguished by its luster from the dross of his biographers, and as separable as the diamond from the dunghill, we have the outlines of a system of the most sublime morality which has ever fallen from the lips of man; outlines which it is lamentable he did not live to fill up… The establishment of the innocent and genuine character of this benevolent moralist, and the rescuing it from the imputation of imposture, which has resulted from artificial systems*, invented by ultra-Christian sects, unauthorized by a single word ever uttered by him, is a most desirable object… *e.g. The immaculate conception of Jesus, his deification, the creation of the world by him, his miraculous powers, his resurrection and visible ascension, his corporeal presence in the Eucharist, the Trinity; original sin, atonement, regeneration, election, orders of Hierarchy, etc.” — Thomas Jefferson, Letter to William Short, October 31 (Halloween), 1819

“Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.” — H. L. Mencken (1810-1956)

“However, on religious issues there can be little or no compromise. There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs. There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than Jesus Christ, or God, or Allah, or whatever one calls this supreme being. But like any powerful weapon, the use of God’s name on one’s behalf should be used sparingly. The religious factions that are growing throughout our land are not using their religious clout with wisdom. They are trying to force government leaders into following their position 100 percent. If you disagree with these religious groups on a particular moral issue, they complain, they threaten you with a loss of money or votes or both. I’m frankly sick and tired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in “A,” “B,” “C,” and “D.” Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me? And I am even more angry as a legislator who must endure the threats of every religious group who thinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll call in the Senate. I am warning them today: I will fight them every step of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all Americans in the name of “conservatism.”” — Senator Barry Goldwater, from the Congressional Record, September 16, 1981

“You know your country is dying when you have to make a distinction between what is moral and ethical, and what is legal.” — John De Armond, Performance Engineering Magazine, 1994

“I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.” — George Carlin

“They [the clergy] believe that any portion of power confided to me will be exerted in opposition to their schemes. And they believe rightly: for I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.” — Thomas Jefferson to Dr. Benjamin Rush, September 23, 1800

“The superior man thinks always of virtue; the common man thinks of comfort.” — Confucius (B.C. 551-479)

There you have it…a veritable orgy of ideas, to do with as you please. But take a moment today to think about the historical forces that have led us to the situation we have in the world today, and strengthen your resolve to maintain that freedom that our forefathers left us as their legacy. You honor that legacy when you bend your efforts to use the mind you have been given, and reject outright any and all attempts to curtail, prejudice, or control that mind. Y’all take care out there….and have a good Fourth!….

As a holiday bonus, I offer one final pearl on today’s subject….

“Quite frankly I admit that I am not too talented, rather under-educated, and not too up on current affairs, decidedly uninterested in sports, and additional to all of this I know practically nothing about the stock market, money management, international law, how to deal with terrorism and protective policy. These at the things that worry me, inasmuch as any day now, someone is going to come and ask me to run for President, since so few other folks are so well qualified.” — Smart Bee

Stay safe today, ffolkes. A lot of amateur drinkers get carried away by their enthusiasm, and nothing is more dangerous than a drunk, self-proclaimed patriot on the fourth of July…..
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Profound Truth differs from simple truth in that the negation of a simple truth is a simple falsehood, while the negation of a Profound Truth may be another Profound Truth. E.g. a button with “Life is just as simple as it seems” on one side and “Life is not as simple as it seems” on the other. — Smart Bee

This is an insightful piece of information, and, as such, is one most folks never would even consider, since it requires more than a minimum of thought to comprehend. But, there is hope! I see an opportunity here…. T-shirts!

We could, instead of a button with two Profound Truths on each side, make and sell T-shirts with the same…. add a small logo, and voilà, $35 each, 2 for $60. I smell a small fortune in sales, just at county fairs, NASCAR races, and flea markets. If one of the large chains, like Penneys, or Macy’s, gets wind of it, they’d probably offer a buy-out, or a franchise consignment contract for a medium fortune. It’s a sure winner! Want to invest?….

We could even think up more Profound Truths to put on each side…. like “Always” on one side, and “Never” on the other side. Or, “Your vote makes a difference!” and “Your vote is wasted!” on two sides. Or, “God is Dead!” on one side , with “God is Alive, and living in New Jersey” on the other side. Heck, you could hold contests to see who could come up with the best dualities to put on the shirts. Since the subject matter is Profound, you might even be able to get tax exempt status as an educational tool maker, with a dot .org domain name to boot, where the shirts could be sold and shipped online, for a modest fee.

I see a lot of potential here, with eventual growth into a multinational corporation dedicated to everything all the other corps are against, like Truth, Equality, Diversity, and Responsibility. I rather like the irony of using a corporation, dedicated to justice, to bring down the other corporations, who have long since shown their dedication to greed and oppression….

Hey, another thought…. We could go to California to incorporate, and, jointly, register as a church; in that socio-political stew, who’d notice another new cult? Then we could fight on two fronts, using corporate weapons to fight the corporations, and religious zealotry to fight the religious zealots…. A very balanced, two-pronged attack, with the added bonus of irony on our side…. Can’t lose, eh?…. It’s worth a shot, nothing else seems to be working…..
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Vain was the chief’s the sage’s pride!
They had no poet, and they died.

— Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — Satires, Epistles, and Odes of Horace, Odes, Book iv, Ode 9

This is much how I react to the absence of poetry in life, so…. here are some fine examples from Mssr. Pope….

Epigram Engraved on the Collar of a Dog Which I Gave to His Royal Highness

I am his Highness’ dog at Kew;
Pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you?

Alexander Pope

Couplets on Wit
I
I

But our Great Turks in wit must reign alone
And ill can bear a Brother on the Throne.

Wit is like faith by such warm Fools profest
Who to be saved by one, must damn the rest.

III

Some who grow dull religious strait commence
And gain in morals what they lose in sense.

Wits starve as useless to a Common weal
While Fools have places purely for their Zeal.

Now wits gain praise by copying other wits
As one Hog lives on what another sh—.

Wou’d you your writings to some Palates fit
Purged all you verses from the sin of wit
For authors now are so conceited grown
They praise no works but what are like their own.

Alexander Pope

That should hold me for a day, and you as well…. enjoy!
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“Honk! Honk! My nose is big, and red, my name is Ned, and I am a bozo”…. This is how all of us who attend the meetings at BA preface our remarks. Of course, I’m the only one who says “Ned”, but the rest is the same…

BA (Bozos Anonymous) is a fine organization, patterned on the AA model, that helps those of us who, for some genetic reason, easily fall into the life of a bozo, which, as we all know, is extremely bad, especially for the kids of such pathetic clowns…..

But, at the meetings, we support each other in learning to go through life without falling prey to our condition…. and, we learn not to miss having the occasional belly-laughs happen on a regular basis. As good as they feel, that much lack of seriousness can’t be allowed in a Christian society; it could lead to jokes about politicians, and lawyers, and priests, walking into a bar……

That being said, I wish you all a happy, safe 4th of July! Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

Highest quality stress in town….

Posted on July 3, 2012 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
Knowing it will be like this doesn’t make it any less annoying when it is; it just makes it worse, actually. But, being the trooper I am, I will do my best to look beyond it, and act as if it isn’t important. Which, cosmically speaking, it is not, nor will it ever be. Important, that is. If it was, maybe we could get a better one, but it’s not, so that’s wishful thinking. As we normally do, we will use what we have, the best we can, and hope it will be enough….

Of course, having no idea whatsoever as to what “it” I am speaking of, the previous paragraph really has no meaning, other than finding the means to fill up space. Having stared into space for a good 10 minutes without a single worthwhile thought rising to the surface of my mind, I figured I’d best get started, and just trust that the words would come. Well, they came, even thought they weren’t particularly aroused, Heck, they weren’t even breathing hard! The fact that there is no meaning to any of it has no bearing on reality, other than as a means of getting started on today’s Pearl….

I suppose I’m going to need to take my own advice, quit being lazy, and get some material organized for use in the introduction section. A few pearls, some brainstorm ideas, and an outline ought to do it, and won’t bore me to tears (hopefully). I find myself falling into this position too frequently of late, of being short of anything for the intro, so I may as well be proactive and take away my reasons for complaining. Not that the complaining ever does me any good; it just annoys me more than I already am when faced with such blocks.

Until then, you’ll just have to put up with my pissing and moaning…. or not, as you wish. I do try to make the rest of the Pearl more attractive, but don’t always hit that mark as well as I’d like. And, I think my inability to figure out how to get to other ffolkes blogs is causing me to lose some readers; site traffic has been limited to a few faithful followers in the last couple of weeks since WordPress decided to make it difficult for me to access any blogs.

Ah well, I’m not in this for competition, but for self-therapy, so it doesn’t matter too much…. I just miss being able to read all the great stuff on the other blogs, especially my poetesses, and the other curmudgeons with whom I banter at times…. SIGH…. Shall we Pearl?……
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“I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.” — Chang-tzu, Taoist

So, as it turns out, I am a coward. What I mean by that is, when it comes to emotional pain, I will go through all sorts of contortions to avoid it. I will distract myself, I’ll deny, I’ll forget…. all time-tested methods of putting something unpleasant aside. I can say in my own defense that a) I’ve already experienced enough turmoil in my life, and don’t need more, and b) I have yet to start lying to myself about being a coward in this area…..

How does the butterfly koan apply? That’s for me to know, and you to figure out…. No, really, sorry, I didn’t mean that, just fooling around. It applies because the world exists in duality; we perceive that universe by defining and evaluating those dualities according to their relation to each other (light/dark, etc.) as well as according to our own preconceptions and/or preferences. Sometimes what we perceive is clear and readily defined, while at other times, one can make no “heads or tails” of what we see, hear, taste, smell, or feel. And sometimes, the perceptions are just so powerful that we cannot easily deal with what we are perceiving, so we retreat from them. Or I do, anyway….

Now, my cowardice in this respect is, perhaps, justifiable. I put myself through a lot of hard times during certain times in my life, and the emotional toll was heavy. I am now more in balance, but the feelings and thoughts I had can come back in full force, at unexpected moments… Such is the case when I read about the sex trade, and think about how many of my sisters in the world are still being abused, physically and mentally, by the misogynistic assholes that perpetrate the atrocities.

I have previously re-blogged several articles from blog sites written by women who have survived, and left, the sex trade. The stories they tell, and the insights they have achieved, are incredibly powerful, and wrenching to the emotions. It is a rare thing for me to be able to stop myself from crying after reading the first paragraph, and it can take me ten minutes to read a two page article, as I have to stop and compose myself before returning to the story being related. I am always astounded by the strength of mind it took for them to get where they are, and I grieve for the pain and misery they still must contend with as survivors with PTSD (my old friend….).

Reading their stories also have the effect on me of wanting to buy a gun, and start eliminating some of the traffickers from the planet. This urge arises out of my anger and guilt, for it is males who perpetrate the atrocities, and I am ashamed of how low others of my gender can sink. But, alas, until I CAN afford to buy one, that little dream will have to wait…..

All I can do is to try to make people aware of the extent of the problem, by directing them to the stories told by the women who have lived through that Hell, with re-blogs and pearls such as this one. That is why I say I’ve been a coward, because my mind cravenly hid the awareness that connects to the outrage I feel when I get started on this issue, not being brave enough to put my emotions up on that higher level….and used the technical glitch I’ve been having with WordPress as an excuse (I’m currently unable to connect to any other WP sites if I’m signed in… I just get sent to a blank page while the browser falls into an infinite loop….).

Hence this somewhat dispassionate discussion of the issue. I’ve managed to get through this without bursting into tears, so I’ll consider myself lucky, and make myself a promise to re-blog for them as soon as I can get there to do so…. and I’ll not let myself chicken out…. This is an issue that will not go away; we men will never be free until we free our sisters from this bondage….

To read some of these articles yourself, use the WordPress search function to find these three sites, by blog titles…. Diary of A Dublin Call Girl, rmott62- Are We Not Human?, and Stella Mar, a Manhattan Call Girl…. all three have powerful messages that need to be spread around the planet….
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Here is an old school pearl, just because…. all these came up while perusing the dB today, so I figured, why not? They all have something to say that is applicable to today’s society. Sadly, none of it is particularly positive in nature…. It just goes to show that is it easier to find the negatives in life, because they are so numerous. Fortunately, the positives are much more valuable on a per capita basis, so it all balances out in the end…. One must only be patient in coming to that end…. BTW, there IS a hidden message in this grouping of pearls, but there is no need to try to decipher it, as it won’t be on the quiz….. But if you do, it will bring some extra clarity to the group’s purpose….

“Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies.” — Thomas Jefferson

“It’s said that ‘power corrupts’, but actually it’s more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power. When they do act, they think of it as service, which has limits. The tyrant, though, seeks mastery, for which he is insatiable, implacable.” — David Brin, The Postman

“Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders.” — Sloan Wilson

OCCIDENT, n. The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient. It is largely inhabited by Christians, a powerful subtribe of the Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating, which they are pleased to call “war” and “commerce.” These, also, are the principal industries of the Orient. — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

“I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of the rights of the people by the gradual & silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations.” — James Madison, Virginia Conv. 1788

“Crime does not pay … as well as politics.” — Alfred E. Newman

“Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue.” — Buddha (B.C. 568-488)

See? The last line brings balance into the equation…. Don’t forget to register and vote this November, ffolkes. It’s important this time, for the forces of evil are gathering their powers to make a run at total world domination…. yup, it’s THAT serious….
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Dreamland

By a route obscure and lonely,
Haunted by ill angels only,
Where an Eidolon, named NIGHT,
On a black throne reigns upright,
I have reached these lands but newly
From an ultimate dim Thule-
From a wild clime that lieth, sublime,
Out of SPACE- out of TIME.

Bottomless vales and boundless floods,
And chasms, and caves, and Titan woods,
With forms that no man can discover
For the tears that drip all over;
Mountains toppling evermore
Into seas without a shore;
Seas that restlessly aspire,
Surging, unto skies of fire;
Lakes that endlessly outspread
Their lone waters- lone and dead,-
Their still waters- still and chilly
With the snows of the lolling lily.

By the lakes that thus outspread
Their lone waters, lone and dead,-
Their sad waters, sad and chilly
With the snows of the lolling lily,-
By the mountains- near the river
Murmuring lowly, murmuring ever,-
By the grey woods,- by the swamp
Where the toad and the newt encamp-
By the dismal tarns and pools
Where dwell the Ghouls,-
By each spot the most unholy-
In each nook most melancholy-
There the traveler meets aghast
Sheeted Memories of the Past-
Shrouded forms that start and sigh
As they pass the wanderer by-
White-robed forms of friends long given,
In agony, to the Earth- and Heaven.

For the heart whose woes are legion
‘Tis a peaceful, soothing region-
For the spirit that walks in shadow
‘Tis- oh, ’tis an Eldorado!
But the traveler, traveling through it,
May not- dare not openly view it!
Never its mysteries are exposed
To the weak human eye unclosed;
So wills its King, who hath forbid
The uplifting of the fringed lid;
And thus the sad Soul that here passes
Beholds it but through darkened glasses.

By a route obscure and lonely,
Haunted by ill angels only,
Where an Eidolon, named NIGHT,
On a black throne reigns upright,
I have wandered home but newly
From this ultimate dim Thule.

Edgar Allan Poe

It has been a long time since I read any of Poe’s poetry; his stories are so good, one forgets he also was an excellent poet. This is a perfect example of that talent…. and I needed a beauty break….. enjoy!
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Rats! Thought I was done…. Today’s effort was just that…. an effort. But, perseverance has carried the day once again, so I’m putting myself into the hands of Fate, and letting this go out for consumption…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

Pickles and mayonnaise on rye….

Posted on July 2, 2012 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
Gosh….it seems like only yesterday I was right here in this chair, going through the same old routine of trying to figure out how to get this show on the road. Oh…. right, it WAS just yesterday. SIGH….

As you may be able to tell, I’m having a bit of a problem this morning with the intro…. nothing new there, I guess. But, today seems a bit stranger (than usual) somehow; I have one of those feelings you get when deja vu is taking over your consciousness, and everything seems like it should be the same, but different, if you know what I mean….. Hmm, actually, after reading that sentence again, if you know what I mean, please, tell me, because I don’t have a clue….

“Hopelessly lost, but making good time…” — Letterman

Alas, alas, I mourn for those bygone days, when I could sit down at the computer, and inspiration flowed through me like a soft, summer breeze, wafting me gently into the higher realms of thought, safely bringing me back down to earth when I got too far into the hinterlands.

Nowadays it seems like I spend half of the morning just figuring out how to begin. This morning I’d even settle for an appearance by Murphy, if only he would confine himself to humorous japes, rather than horrifying instances of terror. Hell, even my pain isn’t so bad today; can’t even complain about that!…..

“Contrary to what you might think, a career in letters is not without its drawbacks– chief among them the unpleasant fact that one is frequently called upon to sit down and write.” — Fran Lebowitz

Ah the hell with it, let’s go Pearl, shall we?……
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A Question

A voice said, Look me in the stars
And tell me truly, men of earth,
If all the soul-and-body scars
Were not too much to pay for birth.

Robert Frost

This, to me, is a fine example of the best of poetry. In four short, pithy lines, Frost takes the mind of the reader on a trip into the depths of philosophical inquiry, and leaves it there to finish the process alone. Exquisite in its seeming ambiguity, colored with insight!….
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“Since I’ve seen this *several* times in this group, the actual context of the God is dead quotation of Nietzsche: The Madman. — Have you ever heard of the madman who on a bright morning lighted a lantern and ran to the market-place calling out unceasingly: I seek God! I seek God! — As there were many people standing about who did not believe in God, he caused a great deal of amusement. Why! is he lost? said one. Has he strayed away like a child? said another. Or does he keep himself hidden? Is he afraid of us? Has he taken a sea-voyage? has he emigrated? — the people cried out laughingly, all in a hubbub. The insane man jumped into their midst and transfixed them with his glances. Where is God gone? he called out. I mean to tell you! *We have killed him*, you and I! We are all his murderers!….” — from THE JOYFUL WISDOM

I have no doubt whatsoever that Nietzsche was not a popular character with the clergy of his time, given the rather high degree of blasphemy this quote entails. But, I think that what the theists are upset about is not so much the claim that God is dead, but rather that people are shown as the creators of God, not the other way around, as they would have us believe…. It is anathema to their existence to have people even consider such a proposition; they spend most of their time convincing their parishioners to NOT think about the nature of God, or theology in general, at all. If they could figure out how to keep people from thinking about anything, they would gladly do it….

“However, on religious issues there can be little or no compromise. There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs. There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than Jesus Christ, or God, or Allah, or whatever one calls this supreme being. But like any powerful weapon, the use of God’s name on one’s behalf should be used sparingly. The religious factions that are growing throughout our land are not using their religious clout with wisdom. They are trying to force government leaders into following their position 100 percent. If you disagree with these religious groups on a particular moral issue, they complain, they threaten you with a loss of money or votes or both. I’m frankly sick and tired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in “A,” “B,” “C,” and “D.” Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me? And I am even more angry as a legislator who must endure the threats of every religious group who thinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll call in the Senate. I am warning them today: I will fight them every step of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all Americans in the name of “conservatism.” — Senator Barry Goldwater, from the Congressional Record, September 16, 1981

I spend a lot of time and effort here working toward the opposite end; I want people to think all the time, rather than seldom, or never. If I can get people to question some of the dogmatic principles upon which they base their lives, I consider it a good day. If even one person’s faith is disturbed by what I write, then I have achieved, at least partially, what I set out to do.

I see this as the single greatest barrier to our survival, to wit: people just don’t want to think. They’re lazy, thinking takes effort, and they’ve been taught all their lives to avoid putting any effort into that practice. It’s not encouraged in our society, unless the thinking one does is done within the narrow guidelines set out for them by the clergy and the beloved ruling class.

“All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian, or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit.” — Thomas Paine

So, vilify me if you must, discourage me at every turn if it makes you feel better. But, none of what is said to me, or done to me, will ever keep me from thinking, or from trying to get others to do the same. Our beloved ruling class, and the clergy of ALL religions, would have us believe that what they tell us is Truth, when in fact it is anything but that.

They know that the less the people think, the less they are educated, the easier they will be to manipulate, and they will expend every effort to see that the practice of thinking is discouraged. So, I have chosen to dispute that at every chance, and care not how they feel about it. So far, they’ve had things their way, and it’s time we took back some of our independence from them…..

“I count religion but a childish toy … there is no sin but ignorance.”– Thomas Jefferson, paraphrased.

gigoid has spoken. So be it….. Here is a bit of Art to go with the above discussion, found on Facebook…

___________________________________

Pearls are…

Long, deep thoughts always
bring truth to the eyes of man,
and light into dark.

gigoid
___________________________________

Some might say that today’s effort shows signs of cheating on my part. They would be right, and wrong, all at once. I’ve used some extra stuff from others, but feel compelled to point out the original haiku just above. Such output leaves me exhausted; it took about 15 minutes to compose the damn thing; therefore, it can’t be called cheating…. and any criticisms will be cheerfully ignored…. 🙂

Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

Bitter occidental visions of midnight sun….

Posted on July 1, 2012 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
Puppies…. everybody likes puppies, right? So why did I get all the funny looks when I served some for dinner the other night? Tell me, what’s the big deal? How come all the women rushed to the bathroom to spew, and all the men started yelling at me? I don’t understand…. if everybody likes them, what’s the problem? No mint sauce?…. Are they supposed to be baked instead of grilled? What?…..

Okay, okay, there’s no call for hissing and booing. It’s just a joke….. and damn funny, too! Bet you were surprised, eh? I generally don’t use puppies for humor’s sake, especially not in such a film noir sense. It’s too hard to get anyone to laugh, at least not until they’ve said “Awwww”. But, I thought it was worth a shot, and I was right….. at least, I think so….. Besides, I wouldn’t want to destroy any illusions about the classy way I run this blog….. high class, that’s me….yup. It says so right here on the label…..

Rather than continue in this vein, I think we’ll open up a different one…. I get the feeling this one could end up somewhere I don’t want to go. Instead, let’s Pearl, okay? Okay!…..
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Fundamentalism: an effective form of mirth control. — Smart Bee

Smart Bee is almost always right on the money, and this one is one you could take to the bank. Have you ever noticed this? It seems that in order to be ordained as a fundamentalist minister, one must lose or destroy their sense of humor. This lack of funny bone is one of the primary characteristics by which one may recognize this fortunately rare beastie; it is often accompanied by a very strong sense of hypocrisy, and a sense of entitlement all out of proportion with Reality….. and they get all upset and frothing at the mouth when someone (like me…) points out their hypocrisy, especially if the proof is obvious.

“I see little divinity about them or you. You talk to me of Christianity when you are in the act of hanging your enemies. Was there ever such blasphemous nonsense!” — George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), The Devil’s Disciple

This hypocritical nature is shared with the fundies by politicians, bankers, and lawyers. Of course, the fundies dress differently than the latter three categories, who all dress the same, in power suits with white shirt and power ties. You can differentiate one from another by the type of accessories they wear. Politicians usually have an American flag pin on their lapel. Bankers, of course, have a diamond stick pin for their ties. And the lawyers will usually add a vest to the suit, or wear the scales of injustice on their lapel…… Although each claims they are different from the other, all of them are adept at lying with great facility…..

“The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.” — H.L. Mencken

This insight is quite powerful, and very true to Reality. This characteristic of the American voting public has always fascinated me, in the same way that a poisonous snake is fascinating to study…. they’re beautiful, but very dangerous to one’s health. I suppose the public’s calm, even resigned, acceptance of the lies they hear, from the beloved ruling class, and from the priestly hierarchies, is a natural outgrowth of the hypocrisy inherent in each of them individually. In other words, because they’ve chosen to believe in a certain set of lies, i.e. Christianity, they are only too willing to accept being lied to by their ruling class. It’s kind of pathetic, if you ask me….

“Instead of striving to be like Jesus most Christians would rather presume that Jesus was just like them.” — Callan Williams

I guess the most ironic part of all this is the absolute cluelessness of those who choose this path. They really have no idea how insane their beliefs have become; they refuse to look at any evidence that doesn’t agree with what they have chosen to believe, other than those (often erroneous or irrelevant) passages from the Bible that they will toss out with such finality. It cracks me up when someone quotes the Bible; they act as if merely referring to that book denies the truth of any other source, like once they have referenced scripture, no other answer is acceptable…. when in fact, what they’ve quoted often has no relation to reality at all. And the colors they turn when this is proven to them are fascinating…..

“I don’t mind being screwed, but the government thinks I’m a nymph.” — Smart Bee

Okay, I’ll stop harassing the poor churchies now. I know it’s dishonorable to have a battle of wits with people who are unarmed, but some days I just can’t help it. I look at all the damage that churches have perpetrated on society, and my blood boils, my brain ignites, and my fingers start typing accusatory dross and ironic drivel, without conscious volition. Besides, they certainly have it coming, and they’ve had lots of practice, at deflecting accusations, and at outright lying about their motivation. So, fuck ’em, as we like to say downtown…. they’ve been doing it to me, and us, for a long time; now it’s my turn….

Man, n.: An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada. — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”
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A Dialogue Of Self And Soul

i{My Soul} I summon to the winding ancient stair;
Set all your mind upon the steep ascent,
Upon the broken, crumbling battlement,
Upon the breathless starlit air,
‘Upon the star that marks the hidden pole;
Fix every wandering thought upon
That quarter where all thought is done:
Who can distinguish darkness from the soul

i{My Self}. The consecretes blade upon my knees
Is Sato’s ancient blade, still as it was,
Still razor-keen, still like a looking-glass
Unspotted by the centuries;
That flowering, silken, old embroidery, torn
From some court-lady’s dress and round
The wooden scabbard bound and wound
Can, tattered, still protect, faded adorn

i{My Soul.} Why should the imagination of a man
Long past his prime remember things that are
Emblematical of love and war?
Think of ancestral night that can,
If but imagination scorn the earth
And intellect is wandering
To this and that and t’other thing,
Deliver from the crime of death and birth.

i{My self.} Montashigi, third of his family, fashioned it
Five hundred years ago, about it lie
Flowers from I know not what embroidery —
Heart’s purple — and all these I set
For emblems of the day against the tower
Emblematical of the night,
And claim as by a soldier’s right
A charter to commit the crime once more.

i{My Soul.} Such fullness in that quarter overflows
And falls into the basin of the mind
That man is stricken deaf and dumb and blind,
For intellect no longer knows

i{Is} from the i{Ought,} or i{knower} from the i{Known — }
That is to say, ascends to Heaven;
Only the dead can be forgiven;
But when I think of that my tongue’s a stone.

i{My Self.} A living man is blind and drinks his drop.
What matter if the ditches are impure?
What matter if I live it all once more?
Endure that toil of growing up;
The ignominy of boyhood; the distress
Of boyhood changing into man;
The unfinished man and his pain
Brought face to face with his own clumsiness;
The finished man among his enemies? —
How in the name of Heaven can he escape
That defiling and disfigured shape
The mirror of malicious eyes
Casts upon his eyes until at last
He thinks that shape must be his shape?
And what’s the good of an escape
If honour find him in the wintry blast?
I am content to live it all again
And yet again, if it be life to pitch
Into the frog-spawn of a blind man’s ditch,
A blind man battering blind men;
Or into that most fecund ditch of all,
The folly that man does
Or must suffer, if he woos
A proud woman not kindred of his soul.
I am content to follow to its source
Every event in action or in thought;
Measure the lot; forgive myself the lot!
When such as I cast out remorse
So great a sweetness flows into the breast
We must laugh and we must sing,
We are blest by everything,
Everything we look upon is blest.

William Butler Yeats

I could probably write a nice, wordy piece dissecting this poem, but, for the sake of both of us, I won’t. I’ll just say that I can see why Yeats is a member of the top 20 poets of all time, in every list of that nature ever made…. He’s got game….
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_
_ / \                           o
/ \ | |                       o           o             o
| | | |                            o               o
| | | |   _                    o    o                 o       o
| \_| | / \                 o                     o    o
\__ | | |             o                           o
| | | |            ______   ~~~~              _____
| |__/ |          / ___–\\ ~~~             __/_____\__
| ___/          / \–\\ \\   \ ___       <__ x x __\
| |             / /\\ \\       )) \         ( ” )
| |    — —–(—->>(@)–(@)——-\———-< >———–
| |   //       | | //__________ /    \    ____)   (___      \\
| | //      __|_| ( ——— )      //// ______ /////\     \\
//       |    ( \ ______ /      <<<< <>—–<<<<< /      \\
//       (     )                      / /         \` \__     \\
//————————————————————-\\

“Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas … with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.” — H. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Ya gotta love ASCII art…. each piece created is another example of just how silly the human mind can be when over-used, or suffering caffeine withdrawal…. throw in Hunter Thompson, and you’ve got a hit!…. Enjoy….
___________________________________

All things considered, I like it. So, I’m going to leave it alone, for better or worse. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

Riding forth with the myrmidons….

Posted on June 30, 2012 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
Wow…. I didn’t realize one could actually fall asleep at the keyboard. It was just like falling asleep at the wheel of a car, but instead of almost crashing, what I found on the screen was zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz You get the picture, I’m sure….. I could go back and delete all of it, but who knows? It may just be a new style of prose writing, called minimalist, or some such…. I’ve seen worse….

“Will this never-ending series of PLEASURABLE EVENTS never cease?” — Zippy the Pinhead

Yes, life is just one big party here at Ned’s house. I managed to stay up until 9 PM last night, which means I’m up today at 5 AM, almost awake. It’s a toss-up as to whether I keep typing or go back to bed….. and I can hear my pillow softly calling my name…. Okay, I’ll be back in a while….

I’m back… it is now almost three hours later. I guess I got up too early the first try. And now that I have no doubt bored you all to tears with my morning play by play, I think we should Pearl… shall we?…..

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. — Latin proverb (Good advice…)
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The Men That Fought At Minden

A Song of Instruction

The men that fought at Minden, they was rookies in their time —
So was them that fought at Waterloo!
All the ‘ole command, yuss, from Minden to Maiwand,
They was once dam’ sweeps like you!

Then do not be discouraged, ‘Eaven is your ‘elper,
We’ll learn you not to forget;
An’ you mustn’t swear an’ curse, or you’ll only catch it worse,
For we’ll make you soldiers yet!

The men that fought at Minden, they ‘ad stocks beneath their chins,
Six inch ‘igh an’ more;
But fatigue it was their pride, and they ~would~ not be denied
To clean the cook-‘ouse floor.

The men that fought at Minden, they had anarchistic bombs
Served to ’em by name of ‘and-grenades;
But they got it in the eye (same as you will by-an’-by)
When they clubbed their field-parades.

The men that fought at Minden, they ‘ad buttons up an’ down,
Two-an’-twenty dozen of ’em told;
But they didn’t grouse an’ shirk at an hour’s extry work,
They kept ’em bright as gold.

The men that fought at Minden, they was armed with musketoons,
Also, they was drilled by ‘alberdiers;
I don’t know what they were, but the sergeants took good care
They washed be’ind their ears.

The men that fought at Minden, they ‘ad ever cash in ‘and
Which they did not bank nor save,
But spent it gay an’ free on their betters — such as me —
For the good advice I gave.

The men that fought at Minden, they was civil — yuss, they was —
Never didn’t talk o’ rights an’ wrongs,
But they got it with the toe (same as you will get it — so!) —
For interrupting songs.

The men that fought at Minden, they was several other things
Which I don’t remember clear;
But ~that’s~ the reason why, now the six-year men are dry,
The rooks will stand the beer!

Then do not be discouraged, ‘Eaven is your ‘elper,
We’ll learn you not to forget;
An’ you mustn’t swear an’ curse, or you’ll only catch it worse,
For we’ll make you soldiers yet!

Soldiers yet, if you’ve got it in you —
All for the sake of the Core;
Soldiers yet, if we ‘ave to skin you —
Run an’ get the beer, Johnny Raw — Johnny Raw!
Ho! run an’ get the beer, Johnny Raw!

Rudyard Kipling

I can imagine a platoon of English army soldiers, sitting in a dark, smoke-filled, crowded tavern, somewhere in India, singing this song at the top of their lungs, as they slosh more ale down their throats from the tankards they wave about in time to the song. Gig Young, or Errol Flynn plays the part of the officer of the troop, with all those wonderful British character actors playing the soldiers. They all die in the end, of course…. that’s the common lot for British soldiers in India at that time…. Any who, I like the poem a lot, it made me think of the word “rollicking” and is worth reading just for that…. 🙂
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“I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.” — Sir Winston Churchill

“…for DEATH awaits you all, with nasty sharp pointy teeth!” — Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Death. The great equalizer. Nobody gets away from it. As a matter of fact, it has been proven, beyond a shadow of doubt, that everyone who breathes air, dies. So, air must not be good for us, right? That’s logic….. Of course it’s logical. It is also, however, not true, and serves as an example of the fact that logic doesn’t always lead to the correct answer to any particular question….. sometimes you gotta just go by what is real…..

I like the first quote, by Winnie…. should the Christian viewpoint turn out to have been true, I would prefer to meet my maker with this same attitude. To my way of thinking, if it (Christianity) IS true, then God has a lot to answer for. I’m sorry, but I just can’t believe in any deity who would allow his creation to show such perversions as this species has shown. Whenever I bring this point up to a priest, or theologian of any sort, all I get is “God works in mysterious ways….”

Yeah? Is that right? You say there is some hidden purpose to those actions we don’t understand? Well, fuck God then, because he’s acting like an asshole. I don’t care a whit if there is some hidden purpose; there is NO ACCEPTABLE REASON to suppose that a merciful God would condone child molesters, or rapists, or torture, (even during war). I don’t believe it; it is neither logical, nor rational….

Claiming that God is beyond our understanding, and therefore we cannot understand his reasons for allowing such actions, is pure bullshit. If he is that far above us, why are his morals so perverted? I don’t care what you say, I won’t accept the rape of a child as being justifiable from ANY standpoint. None. And if God does have some justification, well, I ain’t buying it. No matter what it is, it isn’t right….. And going along with it, believing the lie, is just another cowardly way of avoiding responsibility…..

Men are responsible for these actions, not God. Men kill, and rape, and pillage, and manipulate and coerce their fellows into performing acts of heinous nature. At times in history, this killing has taken place in the name of God, as the fanatical zealots so common to Christianity throughout its bloody history carried their own particular brand of oppression to new lands, forcing the natives to swallow their version of reality, regardless of how they felt about it.

This zealotry continues today, with the current Republican candidate all set to bring the US right back into the Stone Age, should he. through some cruel quirk of fate, be elected as POTUS. If that happens, I’m pretty sure Armageddon will be close behind, as I don’t think the rest of the world is going to sit still for him to cram his own faith down their throats.

Hell, right here at home, should he be elected, I’d be surprised if there isn’t a revolutionary upheaval within a few months of the election. I know I would certainly be considering assassination as a viable political tool…. It is now legal for us to use torture as a resource, why should we balk at assassination?

Ah me…. I guess I got too much sleep. It seems to have awakened my old hippie instincts; I haven’t talked revolution in oh, six or eight months now…. I suppose I’ll just have to wait until November, to see which way to jump…. let’s hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. That’s always the best policy….. for survival, anyway….and that may become our primary goal, if things keep on keepin’ on…..
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How admirable,
he who thinks not,
Life is fleeting,
When he sees the lightning!
— Basho

Future Shocked:

Weeping, I wake;
waking, I weep, I weep.
I weep for the ages to be lost,
for children never born.

Time comes calling, strident and spare,
nudging us toward the future with bony hands.
No pausing, no waiting, always away,
Frantic hearts unseen, unheard.

Spirits are dark, afraid.
And the Beast hunts, hungry and cruel,
seeking out the weak, and the foolish.

We all weep now…..

gigoid
___________________________________

Well, that turned a little dark on me, didn’t it? I guess that is all one can expect when speaking of Death; things often turn a little dark in his/her presence….. But, a little dark only serves to contrast with the light, making us more aware of both…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

Our best quality yak butter is on sale….

Posted on June 29, 2012 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
Apple Brown Betty. Sounds good, doesn’t it? It’s one of my favorite desserts. What it has to do with creating a morning Pearl is somewhat unclear to me just now. When I typed it a moment ago, I had a reason, a lead-in for this missive, but, it is now gone wherever those fleeting thoughts go, and I’m left holding the empty bag, again. If I weren’t already confused, this would have done it, and did……

It must be the Beast. Or, the aftermath of the Beast, to be more accurate. Last night, to celebrate making it through another month, I took myself out to dinner, and, in the process, consumed an adult beverage, or three. It has been such a long time since I went out, I believe my capacity for hard liquor went south, because I’m feeling more than just a little foggy this morning. One might think I’d never had a hangover before, if one didn’t know better…. and this one is old enough to know better…

“Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony.” — Robert Benchley

Hung over or no, I still am here to Pearl, not to complain, so I think we’ll just get to the meat of the matter, before I sink into the miasma…. great word, eh? Miasma…. it just trips so smoothly off the lips….. never mind. Sorry, distracted for a moment…. so, shall we Pearl?……..
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A Hymn To God The Father

Wilt thou forgive that sin where I begun,
Which was my sin, though it were done before?
Wilt thou forgive that sin, through which I run,
And do run still, though still I do deplore?
When thou hast done, thou hast not done,
For I have more.

Wilt thou forgive that sin which I have won
Others to sin, and made my sin their door?
Wilt thou forgive that sin which I did shun
A year or two, but wallow’d in, a score?
When thou hast done, thou hast not done,
For I have more.

I have a sin of fear, that when I have spun
My last thread, I shall perish on the shore;
But swear by thyself, that at my death thy Son
Shall shine as he shines now, and heretofore;
And, having done that, thou hast done;
I fear no more.

John Donne

One of the characteristics of an honorable man is the ability to accept ideas that he doesn’t agree with, without becoming emotionally engaged in challenging the idea’s verity. I consider myself to be honorable in that sense, so it isn’t difficult for me to accept the idea that Christianity, while having had an extremely deleterious effect on society at large, still provided, and provides, the impetus for many an artist to display their talent in praise of the Christian ethos. A large number of exquisitely beautiful cathedrals exist, all over the world, as visible proof of this idea. This poem is another perfect example of how faith can produce beautiful expressions of art, even though the faith it celebrates is, to my mind, an illusory belief. That illusion doesn’t detract from the beauty of these words…..
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Everybody knows Winnie the Pooh. He is, without a doubt, one of modern society’s Uncarved Blocks. There have been complete books written, just to explore the depth of Zen philosophy Pooh demonstrates with his little aphorisms. But most folks don’t know that Pooh has a dark side, as well…. and it is very dark indeed! I have listed below some of the aphorisms collected to show just how scary this little Bear of Little Brain can be….

— Bother! said Pooh, as he sold Eeyore to the glue factory.

— Bother! said Pooh, as Tenebrae fed him to Cthulhu.

— Bother! said Pooh, as he flooded the computer room with nerve gas.

— Bother! said Pooh, as Q destroyed the universe.

— Bother! said Pooh, as the Monitor blew up in his face.

— Bother! said Pooh, as he hid Piglet’s corpse with Roo’s.

— Bother! said Pooh, as he was arrested for indecent exposure.

— Bother! said Pooh, and lit another joint.

— Bother! said Pooh, as the Romulan Warbird uncloaked.

— Bother! said Pooh, as he sold crack in the school yard.

— Bother! said Pooh, as he destroyed the human race.

— Bother! said Pooh, as he misquoted the druidic Spell of Making.

I guess it’s just one more piece of proof that things are not always what they seem….. 😉
___________________________________
I found this on Facebook, and found after reading the list, that all of them were a part of my earliest training from my father. He was an old-fashioned gentleman, even though he wasn’t an officer. But then, he declined the promotion to captain, preferring to remain a Master-Sergeant. More proof of the old saw about the sergeants running the army…. Every one of these items is good advice, and together comprise an excellent approach to living with honor….
___________________________________

If I traveled to the end of the rainbow
As Dame Fortune did intend,
Murphy would be there to tell me
The pot’s at the other end.
— Bert Whitney

I found this poem just as I was finishing up today’s Pearl, and thought it would make an excellent closing thought. One of these days, I’m going to catch Murphy in the act, and there will be a come-uppance, for one of us. He may be a force of Nature, but he’s been messing with me for a very long time, and force or no force, he WILL pay….. In the meantime, y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

Peaches and cream for lunch…..

Posted on June 28, 2012 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
Twilight razors, filled with ample screams of delighted salmon fillets, turned backward flips in the parlor, while the Doge Imperius strolled through the garden. Abby didn’t want hers, so I put her squiggly first course of lamprey eel down the bodice of the queen. But, that was only the first time. Afterwards, we all went into the big blue room to play charades. It was a good party…..

Sorry ’bout that. Before I sat down to begin, I was reading the Bathroom Reader, about the Bullwer-Lytton Writing Contest. That’s the one held each year to pick the best (worst) opening paragraph of the world’s worst novel, as patterned after the opening of the book “Paul Clifford” by Edward Bullwer-Lytton, which began, “It was a dark and stormy night…..”. What I wrote above is certainly bad enough, but I think it’s actually TOO bad, even for that contest. Too much surrealism, and more than one run-on sentence….

Surreal isn’t unknown in this venue; I actually depend on it a lot, for contrast. Exploring reality can be somewhat stultifying to the mind, if one isn’t careful, so I take a dose of surreal before I try to deal with it directly. Kind of a prophylactic, eh? I suppose one could call it a literary condom…. that is, if one were so inclined. Me, I’m too classy for that….

Now that we have entered Fantasy Land, I think it would be best to start our morning task. In fact, I think that if we don’t, we could conceivably get stuck here for a long time…. shall we Pearl?…..
___________________________________

“We live in a time when man would rather be envied than esteemed.” — G. Trudeau

One of the characteristics of the English language that I appreciate is adroitly demonstrated here by Mssr. Trudeau (Doonesbury’s creator…). That characteristic is the precision of meaning that can be found by using just the right words. This statement, because of that very precision, becomes extremely insightful, accurately putting its finger on the nature of society, and on the nature of the people who make up that society. This desire to be envied, to be looked up to, to be the object of jealousy, was very aptly labeled by my uncle, Russell Smith, back in the early 1960’s, when he dubbed this state “Me-Firsterism”. (The title should be delivered with a slightly smug sneer….)

“Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.” — Frank Leahy

Personally, I think the word “selfish” describes the issue just fine. “Entitlement” is another word that comes to mind, especially if paired with a descriptive adjective that implies that the entitlement is completely undeserved. The word “delusional” comes to mind in that respect….. These people see no conflict in claiming they love America, while also making it clear that they cannot stand Americans.

They love being able to hop down to the market to pick up fresh veggies any time, but would faint if they were asked to go out into the fields to harvest those veggies. At the same time, they want to send all the illegal immigrants home…. these are the same immigrants who harvest the fields for the veggies, at half the rate any American would demand.

“Character is a victory, not a gift.” — Smart Bee

These are the same people who will shout out at the top of their lungs how proud they are of being an American. Whenever I hear that, I am tempted to ask them, “Oh? You’re proud you are American? Tell me, what exactly did you do, to become one? What is it you did that should make you proud of yourself? Oh, your parents were living here when you were born? So, you didn’t do anything to become an American….” I’ve done this in reality a couple of times, and it’s amazing how angry these folks get when confronted. It’s rather entertaining, actually, to see them turn all those different colors….

This is rigorous. Well, it’s rigorous in the sense that … All right, it’s not rigorous. — Smart Bee

No, this isn’t a rigorous argument. This issue doesn’t require a rigorous argument; it’s too obvious. Our society is bursting at the seams with people who are both ignorant and arrogant, filled with a sense of entitlement and eliteness that is completely unconnected to anything in reality; there is no real basis for their pride, or for their belief in their own supremacy. But, since they believe they are the “Lords of Creation”, they carry on with their ignorant, destructive patterns of behavior, and, in the process, pull the rest of humanity along with them on their trip to the deeper regions of Hades….

Maybe I can’t stop them. Maybe I can’t turn the tide of historical events toward a safer shore. Maybe I’m shouting into the wind; it seems that way a lot of the time. None of these maybes are enough to keep me from trying, or to keep me from ranting about it. Maybe one of my rants will fall upon the right ears, and inspire someone to act. If not, well, at least I have the opportunity to sling a few darts in the direction of the pundits and the preachers. Or mud…. slinging mud is always fun…. and it’s not like getting muddy would be something with which they are unfamiliar….

“He probably just wants to take over my CELLS and then EXPLODE inside me like a BARREL of runny CHOPPED LIVER! Or maybe he’d like to PSYCHOLOGICALLY TERRORIZE ME until I have no objection to a RIGHT-WING MILITARY TAKEOVER of my apartment!! I guess I should call AL PACINO!” — Zippy the Pinhead
___________________________________

Clenched Soul

We have lost even this twilight.
No one saw us this evening hand in hand
while the blue night dropped on the world.

I have seen from my window
the fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops.

Sometimes a piece of sun
burned like a coin in my hand.

I remembered you with my soul clenched
in that sadness of mine that you know.

Where were you then?
Who else was there?
Saying what?
Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly
when I am sad and feel you are far away?

The book fell that always closed at twilight
and my blue sweater rolled like a hurt dog at my feet.

Always, always you recede through the evenings
toward the twilight erasing statues.

Pablo Neruda

The images this brings to my inner eye are compelling, if a bit ambiguous. I found it to be a refreshing read, though I really have no clue as to its true meaning; it seemed very personal, like I’d feel embarrassed for the poet if I actually knew what he meant. So, it’s okay that I don’t. If you do follow what he’s saying, or think I’m missing something, please feel free to comment….
___________________________________

Old school Pearl alert: Below are six quotations, all on the same topic. No adornment is possible, or desirable, other than to say that each one makes sense to me, and all are accurate reflections of reality…..

Blasphemy: When a religious person dares to think. — Smart Bee

“All great truths begin as blasphemies.” — George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), “Annajanska”

‘God says in the Bible’ carries as much moral imperative to me as saying ‘Dr. Seuss says in Green Eggs and Ham.’ Both are interesting books with some good messages, nothing more. — Smart Bee (I almost claimed this one as my own; it states my view perfectly. Integrity won, but it was a hard fight….)

“Maybe this world is another planet’s hell.” — Aldous Huxley

“In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

“Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.” — George Bernard Shaw

Editorial note: To be fair, one may place the name of any other religion in the spots where it says “Christianity”. None of the quotation’s meaning will be changed at all…..
___________________________________

Time drags on, day by day, bringing me closer to…. now. While typing that phrase, it occurred to me that Now is all we really have, and I’m no closer to tomorrow at this moment than I was before, or will be after. All I’ll be is more confused about the implied paradoxes….. Hmm… be careful, please. Don’t think about that last part too long; I think it could turn into an infinite loop, and who knows what might happen…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

A Tale of Three Hamlets….

Posted on June 26, 2012 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
The sun poked a bleary eye over the eastern horizon, peering down over the hills to gaze upon the rooftops of the town with its pale, diffused light. A solitary, silent walker strode with purpose down one of those cobbled streets between the houses, looking neither left nor right. The pale light from the morning sun cast a weak shadow on the walls as he passed, disappearing in the gaps between. Dreadful silence covered the streets as he walked; even the noise of his footsteps were muffled, almost inaudible. He turned into an alley between two buildings, coming to a stop before a grimy door set into the wall. As he raised a hand to knock, the door opened…..

Hmm….. not a bad first paragraph, eh? Just had an urge to practice a bit of descriptive prose, and figured , “why not?” The introductory sections of late have been a bit off the beaten track, which isn’t surprising, given the dearth of material I’ve been able to scare up in the mornings. When I first started to blog seriously, about a year and a half ago, I had no idea how hard it was going to be to find ample material for this section. The pearls seem to take care of themselves, but figuring out a good beginning hook every day is much more difficult than it looks before one tries it. A real test of creativity, to be sure….

Having taken, and passed, the test this morning, we can now get on with the real purpose…. Given the state of my mind today, it should prove to be an interesting journey….. Shall we Pearl?…..
___________________________________

A Whirl-Blast from Behind The Hill

A Whirl-Blast from behind the hill
Rushed o’er the wood with startling sound;
Then–all at once the air was still,
And showers of hailstones pattered round.
Where leafless oaks towered high above,
I sat within an undergrove
Of tallest hollies, tall and green;
A fairer bower was never seen.
From year to year the spacious floor
With withered leaves is covered o’er,
And all the year the bower is green.
But see! where’er the hailstones drop
The withered leaves all skip and hop;
There’s not a breeze–no breath of air–
Yet here, and there, and everywhere
Along the floor, beneath the shade
By those embowering hollies made,
The leaves in myriads jump and spring,
As if with pipes and music rare
Some Robin Good-fellow were there,
And all those leaves, in festive glee,
Were dancing to the minstrelsy.

William Wordsworth

I’m always amazed at the power of some poetry. When I read this, just reading, not dissecting for meaning, I get the same feeling as when I was a kid, and would see a “Whirl-Blast”, whirling leaves and sparkling dust into the air to make it dance. The magic of Mother Nature’s show is a constant delight of changing seasons, passionate colors, and intriguing sounds, a veritable carnival of natural events that are there to be seen, all around us, every day.

Poetry such as this brings us into contact with that carnival, wherever and whenever one reads it. To my way of thinking, just reading a good poem improves one’s state of being, bringing us closer to our center, and connecting us with the rest of the universe in all its diverse glory…

Sir I admit your general rule
That every Poet is a Fool
But you yourself may serve to show it
That every Fool is not a Poet
— rendered from the French by Pope
___________________________________

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does the other one enjoy it? — Smart Bee

Sorry, couldn’t resist…. I’ll do an extra pearl to make it up to you….
___________________________________
This ought to make up for the previous pearl…. All of these are excellent aphorisms; short, succinct, and pregnant with meaning. My personal favorites are #4 and #14, but each and every one is a worthy exercise in rational thought and right action…..
___________________________________

IDIOT, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot’s activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but “pervades and regulates the whole.” He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.” — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

When I picked out this pearl, I had intended to write a piece exploring human intelligence. However, my brain had a different plan, and all of the thoughts that I had marshaled to use went into the wind, poof, gone….. Since I’m feeling a bit lazy today, I’m keeping the pearl, and writing something about it anyway, so there….

Ranting about human stupidity is an endless challenge; there is so much of it to pick from that the choosing becomes harder than the actual writing. Every day’s news brings more examples of how dumb folks can be, and finding one that is acceptable is merely a matter of deciding which is the better choice from a humorous view, or a serious view, or whatever viewpoint from which we will write. I’ve yet to see a single day when there weren’t at least four or five instances of stories that illustrate how talented people are at finding new ways to show how stupid they really are…..

“Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.” — Lazarus Long

We’ve all seen this one, I think; if not this one by Robert Heinlein, then one from another author or philosopher. It’s a pretty common theme, after all. Often, examples can be found on the front pages, especially during election years. But the back pages also carry numerous examples, taken from real life…. such as this one….

Back when I was attending the University of Utah, The Daily Utah Chronicle ran a joke ad for a debate between Phil Donahue and Whiskers the Lamb. Over 30 people showed up. (what they were expecting, God only knows.) — Smart Bee

In order to further prove my point, here is an example taken from today’s news….

http://www.fark.com/comments/7182500 This link leads to an article from Yahoo news, and is a perfect example of how the world is going mad, step by step….. I’m not even going to comment on the article, as it’s already too hard to think about it without laughing at the absurdity of the whole issue…..

Okay, I think my point is proved. The human race is pretty stupid, and getting stupider all the time. Sure, we’ve got men in space, we’ve raised the average age to 72 with medical advances, we’ve been to the moon. But we also are still making war on each other. We still abuse animals, and women, and children, and any thing else that will stand still. We are still killing ourselves, and denying that it is even happening. My only hope at this point is for something to happen to change human nature, to turn us away from this path we’ve chosen to walk. I hope it will happen, but I’m afraid the power of stupidity may just be greater than the power of hope….
___________________________________

Like I said at the beginning, it was an interesting journey, to say the least. I am unable to make a judgment as to quality, but hopefully, it will do…. if not, well, there’s always tomorrow….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

No touching the platypus, ma’am….

Posted on June 25, 2012 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
Now that I am up and ready to write, all the great stuff that was floating around in my mind as I lay in bed has disappeared. This is not unusual, in my experience. I think it’s a human thing….

Human or not, it’s a bummer, as the stuff I thought of was pretty cool. Now I don’t know for sure what I’m going to do, as I didn’t make a backup plan, trusting, poorly, as it turns out, that I would have plenty of stuff to write about when I started today. I suppose I’ll have to just fake it again…. It’s not like this hasn’t happened before, is it?…..

Even short paragraphs will do for the introductory section, and we have almost blundered our way through enough of them to make this worthwhile. Hmm…. maybe if I apologize ahead of time for this, it will go over better…. Nah! No way I’m apologizing for this; it isn’t my fault. It’s that bloody fool Murphy at work again, I know it…. I know, I know, paranoid…. but it’s not paranoia if they are really out to get you, and I have documented evidence…. so there….

Having thus completed the minimum number of paragraphs (3) allowed by law in an intro, (the law says nothing about whether the paragraphs have to be good, or actually contain any real content…) we will now return to our regular program, which promises to be an interesting trip today. Shall we Pearl? We shall…..
___________________________________

“The non permanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of summer and winter seasons. “– Bhagavad Gita

I don’t know about you, but I think if someone were to sit down and write a one sentence summary of Ecclesiastes, this would be what they came up with. Coming as it does from the Bhagavad Gita, written prior to Ecclesiastes by several centuries, I doubt the author(s) had that in mind as a goal. It’s funny to me (ironic-funny) how often that is the case. I’ve read the religious books from several different religions, and they seem to have all been written by the same guy….

This idea led me to more research, so I spent some years trying to track down the authors responsible for all the books, and what I found is amazing…. The religious books of ALL religions on Earth WERE written by the SAME GUY. I don’t know his name, but his writing style, and the content of what was written, are the same in all of the tomes I searched. This datum is somewhat disconcerting, as it implies a conspiracy…. logic says that if all were written by the same guy, there is a reason. That reason is probably NOT in the best interests of the average person; it more likely has to do with whatever the author’s goals are….

Now, I have previously written here on religions, and how they attempt to control the populace, and make them amenable to more control by their political counterparts. It seems now that this concept is even more sinister than I had imagined.

The beloved ruling class, and the priestly hierarchies, don’t want us to know that they are controlling us. Their purpose is simple; they want us to be their slaves. They want the average man to work all his life, and never realize that they are working for someone else’s benefit.

The pattern is clear enough that examples are not necessary at this time, but rest assured, our beloved ruling class, with the support of the religions, is manipulating events for THEIR advantage, not ours, and has been doing so for thousands of years…..

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” — Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Let me make something clear. There are people on this planet who are not selfish. There are people who don’t wish to control others, or to manipulate others for their own benefit. There are folks who are just plain good; their spirits are free, and clean. (A lot of them apparently end up on WordPress….)

The problem is, they are few, and far between, and not a single one of them cares a whit about controlling others. Thus, though they are likely not as affected by the manipulations of the ruling class, they are not going to be roused to action without just cause, which the ruling class will not allow to occur, if they can help it.

The number of people who are part of the beloved ruling class is very small, compared to the mass of mankind. From what I can see, that number is probably about the same as the number of people who really understand what is going on, and object to it. Let’s say that number is about 5% (probably lower, but we’ll just use this for now….)

So, that makes 5% beloved ruling class, manipulating society for their own benefit, 5% ffolkes who actually see the manipulations, and 90% clueless sheep. Well, not sheep I guess, because some of them can be pretty violent. But, clueless, for sure…. This breakdown, while not exact, represents society’s makeup since the dawn of civilization….

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t there more happy people? — Smart Bee

So, to bring this back around to where we started, the 5% of mankind that are actually running things have no investment in changing; they want things just the way they are, as they have been for 10,000 years. The other 5% aren’t enough to make the changes happen without the cooperation of the 90%, which the beloved ruling class will work to deny with all their resources.

With all that in mind, I have a new tactic which could help. See, we gotta find that guy…… What guy? Please, pay attention…. the guy who wrote all the books for the religions.

Once we find that guy, we either brainwash him, or recruit him through reason, into a re-write. The re-write could be artificially aged, and then found in some cave in the Himalayas, or in the fertile crescent. The altered text would be designed to negate, or nullify, all of the lies that the other books have perpetrated on society. Once the 90% is enlightened, I think the resulting anger at the beloved rulers and preachers will set matters aright in no time.

What do you think?…. Hey, it could work!….
___________________________________

A Gleam of Sunshine

This is the place. Stand still, my steed,
Let me review the scene,
And summon from the shadowy Past
The forms that once have been.

The Past and Present here unite
Beneath Time’s flowing tide,
Like footprints hidden by a brook,
But seen on either side.

Here runs the highway to the town;
There the green lane descends,
Through which I walked to church with thee,
O gentlest of my friends!

The shadow of the linden-trees
Lay moving on the grass;
Between them and the moving boughs,
A shadow, thou didst pass.

Thy dress was like the lilies,
And thy heart as pure as they:
One of God’s holy messengers
Did walk with me that day.

I saw the branches of the trees
Bend down thy touch to meet,
The clover-blossoms in the grass
Rise up to kiss thy feet,

“Sleep, sleep to-day, tormenting cares,
Of earth and folly born!”
Solemnly sang the village choir
On that sweet Sabbath morn.

Through the closed blinds the golden sun
Poured in a dusty beam,
Like the celestial ladder seen
By Jacob in his dream.

And ever and anon, the wind,
Sweet-scented with the hay,
Turned o’er the hymn-book’s fluttering leaves
That on the window lay.

Long was the good man’s sermon,
Yet it seemed not so to me;
For he spake of Ruth the beautiful,
And still I thought of thee.

Long was the prayer he uttered,
Yet it seemed not so to me;
For in my heart I prayed with him,
And still I thought of thee.

But now, alas! the place seems changed;
Thou art no longer here:
Part of the sunshine of the scene
With thee did disappear.

Though thoughts, deep-rooted in my heart,
Like pine-trees dark and high,
Subdue the light of noon, and breathe
A low and ceaseless sigh;

This memory brightens o’er the past,
As when the sun, concealed
Behind some cloud that near us hangs
Shines on a distant field.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I realize this is fairly long, but some pearls just shine more brightly than others…..
___________________________________

“My other computer keeps calling me Dave.” — Smart Bee

Scary, scary, scary, for anyone who gets the reference…. To anyone else it will be meaningless, and pretty silly…. Even those who know the reference may not fully understand the level of fear that this statement can bring to anyone who KNOWS computers, and understands their infinite possibilities. The movie was so excellently done that it gave a lot of the feeling, but without that knowledge, the actual fear level Dave was experiencing could not be fully fathomed.

However, the computer in “2001”, HAL by name, was programmed according to the programming languages that had been developed at the time the movie was made. I think, if they had used the following language, things might not have turned out so badly…. I give you, VALGOL…..

From its modest beginnings in Southern California’s San Fernando Valley, VALGOL is enjoying a dramatic surge of popularity across the computer industry. Here is a sample program:

LIKE, Y*KNOW(I MEAN)START
IF PIZZA = LIKE BITCHEN AND GUY = LIKE TUBULAR AND
VALLEY GIRL = LIKE GRODY**MAX(FERSURE)**2 THEN
FOR I = LIKE 1 TO OH*MAYBE 100
DO*WAH – (DITTY**2)
BARF(I)=TOTALLY GROSS(OUT)
SURE
LIKE BAG THIS PROGRAM
REALLY
LIKE TOTALLY (Y*KNOW)
IM*SURE
GOTO THE MALL

When the user makes a syntax error, the interpreter displays the message:

GAG ME WITH A SPOON!!

— THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #5: VALGOL — Smart Bee

Okay, so it’s not my best effort. It will be funnier to those who are computer geeks than to those who are not. I don’t like to limit the potential audience like that, but sometimes ya gotta go with the gut…. Any who, it filled up some column inches…. 🙂
___________________________________

Writing for the few
with words of power and grace
often brings such pain.

gigoid

Well, in looking back, I must say, it’s definitely one of my more unique Pearls, in spite of, or perhaps because of the somewhat dubious quality of the subject matter. Ah well, another one bites the dust…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

gigoid

Ned Moore, aka gigoid, is a 70 year-old, (!!!… When did that happen?….), retired dilettante, who would rather read than eat, most days. His first blog, "gigoid’s folly", has been emailed out to folks he knows for about 18 years now. He still considers it his best defense against angst, and the ever-present specter of sheer insanity..... Due to rigorous curmudgeon training requirements, he has discontinued his Facebook presence, but still indulges in the occasional Twitter session... In essence, he's socialized, but, not overly sociable; all labels and stereotypes are forbidden in his presence... and he doesn't care what anyone thinks about that..... In fact, he doesn't want to talk anymore.... If you feel you MUST contact gigoid, his email address is: alphagigoid@gmail.com You can go read now.... Go on, beat it.... gigoid, the dubious

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gigoid

Exploring Consensual Reality

Tag Archives: Society

A green Corvair and two six packs…..

A bond of legacy weighs heavily….

Highest quality stress in town….

Pickles and mayonnaise on rye….

Bitter occidental visions of midnight sun….

Riding forth with the myrmidons….

Our best quality yak butter is on sale….

Peaches and cream for lunch…..

A Tale of Three Hamlets….

No touching the platypus, ma’am….

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