But, Mom, Papal edicts only show the retail cost….

Ffolkes,

Nervy bastards, aren’t they? Even when it’s counterproductive, or, for that matter, illegal, the congress of holiday droids brought in for this morning’s show insist on keeping their motors idling; it must be admitted, they look wonderful while they’re doing it. Of course, it always seems more like winter when they’re trundling about, showing off their latest chrome package, or some new style of working appendage.

Clyde and Em like to put out special feeders for them, but, if you do that, then use the wrong brand of oil, boy, do they get weirded out; I’ve seen them attack a guy who put one in his blog, and forgot to fill it; the only positive outcome was that the remains fit all in one box….. Maybe this year, we could ask the town council to have them stay over after the holidays, so we can have a better look at them when they’re not so involved in their dances and rituals…..

I give up…. I can’t make this any more obscure, or meaningless, so, I’m on the mark there, but, somehow, it’s just not coming out the way I’d envisioned. I think I’m using the right tone, but, I can’t seem to find just the right level of strangeness…. very essential to this type of outburst…. Maybe if I….. No, that won’t work. Never mind. I suppose this means another morning of blather…. I’d hoped my oh-so-creative-mind could come up with something more fascinating than the recent previous intros have been, but, once again, it seems we’re destined to just wander the corridors of my mind, lost and afraid…

Well, I suppose we don’t HAVE to be afraid, though, at this point, lost is a foregone conclusion…. You may as well as throw “confused” into the mix for today, too, because I can feel it gathering around the edges, and, once it settles in for the day, all bets are off…. We may as well go back to bed, if that is the best we can hope for…. That won’t get this Pearl done, though, and was never really considered as a viable option…. I just like to blather, as we know…. No, that’s not right…. I DON’T like to blather, but, I mostly don’t get a chance to do much else…..

Since we’re destined to experience another metaphor for the rest of our lives here today, I’m going to go with the flow, and use some of my dissatisfaction with the opening to fuel even more blather. It’s the only option, now that we’re this far into the process…. In the past, I’ve made other attempts to place a limit of some kind on the amount of blather that gets spread around, but, the only time it seems to have an effect is in the closing section, where it’s already a part of the task to be done there….. Otherwise, the crap just keeps on flowing out, getting all over the screen, and, no doubt, on your clothing…..

Once again, I’ve gone from fantasy, to folly, sidetracked over into severely stunted sincerity, stepped in some small piles of crap, and, now, come back around to fantasy…. We’ll end this here, as we’ve reached the legal minimum required by law, and can now make a serious attempt to get back into the creative portion of this…. whatever it is…..

Whatever it is, I can see it’s going to be a struggle to get it done today….. It’s never a good sign when I have to use a cudgel to beat stuff out of my brain, which is as close as I can come to an accurate description of how this is going so far…. Damn it, I’d hoped to get out of the intro without having to break into the first aid kit!….. As they are fond of saying downtown…. Oh, well….

Shall we Pearl?…..

“How many, once lauded in song, are given over to the forgotten; and how many who sung their praises are clean gone long ago!” — Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121-180 AD) — Meditations, vii, 6
_____________________________

I’m a dog lover, having had one in my family since I was born. One of them taught my younger sister and I to walk, by standing next to us, letting us stand & grab their fur, and then walking slowly away, pulling us with them….. Her name was Butch….   😆  

All my life I remember one dog or another being there, providing me and my siblings with the perfect example of how to get by in the world, and how to do that cheerfully; they show by example how to live with honor, joy, and compassion for all creatures. I consider the species to be the most morally and ethically advanced of all those on this planet, and if there were a God, then one could only assume that He put dogs here to be our mentors in that respect…..

My last dog, Noah, was an Aussie Heeler mix, very smart, and very loyal and loving. He lived with us for close to 17 years, passing on in November of 2011. At that time, I wrote a tribute to him, and to his spirit, which, in a way, was a tribute to the spirit of all dogs, who have lived as mankind’s best friend, and teacher, for untold thousands of generations, and years….. I am re-posting it here today, because I miss him….

An Ode to Noah


Noah came to live with us when he was about 10 months old; we rescued him from taking the long walk at the Humane Society kennel in Santa Rosa. It was my son’s fifteenth birthday, and he wanted a dog, swearing up & down that he would take responsibility for its’ care. Pets were always part of family life when I grew up, and our last dog had been gone for a bit over a year, so it was time to expand the family once again.

As Cory and I walked down the aisle between cages at the kennel, a large variety of dogs started a welcoming cacophony of different barks; shrill tiny ones, deep booming ones, polite yips, all blended together in an almost desperate frenzy, as each animal, many of them almost frantic, tried to get our attention. Some pawed at the gate, some jumped up, some looked nervous, others looked friendly, and all of them, it seemed, were making noise.

As we drew near the last cage in the aisle, we saw a medium-sized black and white dog, not barking, not jumping, just sitting down, leaning against the wall by the gate. He was looking me right in the eyes with an expression on his face that just said, “get me out of here, please!”. What could we do? He was obviously our dog, and he realized it too. We told him we’d be right back, and went back to announce our choice, and complete the paperwork.

The attendant brought Noah in to us just as I finished. He still looked a bit nervous, but calm. That is, he was calm until I clasped his new collar around his neck and hooked on his leash. All of a sudden, when he realized he wasn’t going back into the kennel, he was immediately a new dog, wagging his tail furiously, looking at us with his eyes shining, almost dancing and vibrating in his eagerness to go. As we walked back to the van, he walked proudly in front of us, tail and ears up at attention, almost prancing, looking back every few steps to make sure we were still there, a very happy dog…..

Noah settled into the family immediately. He proved to be very well-mannered, both with people, and in his habits. When on walks, he would stop to sniff, and lift his leg, on every interesting bush and tree, just like any other male dog. But when he had to do his secondary business, he made it clear he preferred to go behind a bush, or somewhere out of the way, and preferably out of sight.

He would assume a very embarrassed expression when not sufficiently hidden from sight, and would turn away, as if he felt guilty. A very private, discreet individual, to say the least. If he had been overlong between walks, and was so much in a hurry that he made a mistake on the sidewalk, he would act just like a cat, and pretend that it had not happened. What mess? Who me? I don’t know what you’re talking about…..

Noah was an extremely intelligent dog; I’ve known a great many animals in my time on this old planet, and he’s one of the smartest I’ve ever been around. When he came to live with us, at about 10 months of age, he already knew how to sit on command (both voice and hand), to lie down, and to stay. 

Truth be told, he had a little trouble with the whole concept of stay; he didn’t like being left alone, and would often follow after a minute or two; it’s like he just didn’t want to believe we really MEANT for him to stay. He figured he should be with us so he could do his job. As long as he could see us, he’d stay where he was; if he couldn’t, he believed it was his place to find us, and we just couldn’t come to terms; on this point he was firm.

We also never had to teach Noah any tricks, as he seemed to have figured stuff out on his own, and his way was definitely cool….The first time I ever gave him a treat (a milk bone), I showed it to him and told him to sit. He sat. I told him to speak, and he gave one quick howl. I held out my hand, & he offered his own to shake. I straightened up, tossed the treat in the air, and watched him not just catch it, but after making the in-air snag like a professional left-fielder, he tossed it back up into the air. He watched it hit the floor, whereupon he dove on top of it, rolled over, and did a happy dance, by twisting his back and hips as if scratching his back on the floor.

I swear, he looked just like Snoopy doing the Dance of Joy. When he was done dancing on his back, he rolled over and proceeded to enjoy his milk bone, with a big twinkle in his eye. I always wanted to video the move to submit it for Stupid Pet Tricks on the Letterman Show, but never had a camera handy when he performed his feat, so Noah missed his chance for stardom.

Noah’s gotten old now; we just observed his 17th birthday in February of this year, so in dog years, he’s going on 120 or so. He can’t hear anything but very loud noises, and can’t see more than a few feet, and I suspect that is mostly shadows and moving light. I’m afraid he will be passing on soon, as he can no longer get up without assistance, and cannot control his bodily functions. I sometimes feel like I should have him put down, to ease his pains, but he doesn’t act as if he is hurting, and I can tell he enjoys just lying around and sleeping, as long as he knows I am near.

For his entire life with us, over 16 and a half years, he has been a true and loyal companion. He has observed with honor the pact that was made between man and dog many thousands of generations ago, and taking care of him in his declining years is both a privilege, and an honor. In my entire life, I have never known anyone more loyal, more compassionate, and more courageous in standing up to life. He is by far the best friend that any man could hope for, and by far the best person I’ve ever known……

Noah

R.I.P. Old Friend

_____________________________

This poet needs no introduction; he is, without a doubt, one of history’s finest…. I love this poem, and gladly re-post it today, in deference to my nostalgia jag…..

A Dog Has Died

My dog has died.
I buried him in the garden
next to a rusted old machine.

Some day I’ll join him right there,
but now he’s gone with his shaggy coat,
his bad manners and his cold nose,
and I, the materialist, who never believed
in any promised heaven in the sky
for any human being,
I believe in a heaven I’ll never enter.
Yes, I believe in a heaven for all dogdom
where my dog waits for my arrival
waving his fan-like tail in friendship.

Ai, I’ll not speak of sadness here on earth,
of having lost a companion
who was never servile.
His friendship for me, like that of a porcupine
withholding its authority,
was the friendship of a star, aloof,
with no more intimacy than was called for,
with no exaggerations:
he never climbed all over my clothes
filling me full of his hair or his mange,
he never rubbed up against my knee
like other dogs obsessed with sex.

No, my dog used to gaze at me,
paying me the attention I need,
the attention required
to make a vain person like me understand
that, being a dog, he was wasting time,
but, with those eyes so much purer than mine,
he’d keep on gazing at me
with a look that reserved for me alone
all his sweet and shaggy life,
always near me, never troubling me,
and asking nothing.

Ai, how many times have I envied his tail
as we walked together on the shores of the sea
in the lonely winter of Isla Negra
where the wintering birds filled the sky
and my hairy dog was jumping about
full of the voltage of the sea’s movement:
my wandering dog, sniffing away
with his golden tail held high,
face to face with the ocean’s spray.

Joyful, joyful, joyful,
as only dogs know how to be happy
with only the autonomy
of their shameless spirit.

There are no good-byes for my dog who has died,
and we don’t now and never did lie to each other.

So now he’s gone and I buried him,
and that’s all there is to it.

~~ Pablo Neruda ~~


Translated, from the Spanish, by Alfred Yankauer
_____________________________

Okay, I’m done being maudlin…. I’m in the mood now for some real, honest-to-goodness nonsense…. Smart Bee is generally pretty liberal in handing out samples of same, so I’m going to see what there is today, to bring us a smile, or a belly laugh, or just a chuckle or two….. Any entries you may note that do not have attribution were found that way in Smart Bee…. It contributed several pearls, and I didn’t feel like typing it so many times….

“Ah… memories, memories. Where is that brain damage they promised us?” — Hunter S. Thompson.

“Two men jump from an airplane. The first pulls the cord–and the chute works perfectly. The second pulls the cord–and nothing happens. He keeps falling straight down. As he passes his friend, the guy gets mad, unbuckles the harness, and shouts, “So, you wanna race, eh?” — Charlie Callas

“This passion, and the death of a dear friend, would go near to make a man look sad.” — William Shakespeare (1564-1616), A Midsummer Night’s Dream — Act v, Sc. 1
(I know, not too funny, but it seemed to fit with the joke….)

Fundamentalism: an effective form of mirth control.

He that would not when he might,
He shall not when he wolda.

— Thomas Percy (1728-1811) — The Friar of Orders Gray

Ignorance can be cured.  Stupid is forever.

— Bother! said Pooh, when he realized he wasn’t wearing any pants.

Couldn’t be better if I’d done it myself…. Good to go….
_____________________________

Today’s post is a perfect example of how fear of failure can be a motivator…. Since we are in the closing section, I’m not required to explain that, so I won’t…. Let’s see how badly I’ve screwed the pooch…. Okay, unfortunate phraseology aside, not too badly, I think… It will pass the legal requirements, which is good enough for me….. Not that legal is my primary goal, but, it does fit in with my policy of not attracting undue attention in that respect…. and if that isn’t pompous enough for you, I can try again….

Nah, the hell with it…. I’m done for the day…. See ya….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Save those false pretenses for the coffee cake….

Ffolkes,

Okay, so what’s the deal here? I get up, all sleepy and grumpy, hoping to find that all is well, and I can get on with the day, only to find that nothing has changed….

There were supposed  to be dancing girls! Yes! Right there in the parlor. And, they were supposed to be wearing matching caftans! But, no, what do I find upon arising? A parlor full of dancing engineering students, wearing togas! Boy! You just can’t depend on anybody these days!…. Since we’re having to forgo the dancing girls, we may as well get started on today’s Pearl….. I suppose I also should come back into a more realistic voice, to make sure everyone ends up on the same page, so to speak….

Hi there! Good morning, sort of… We’re here in gigoid’s parlor, dodging the guys in horn rims dancing around, and waiting for inspiration to show up…. The muses are a bit edgy when they come here, due to Murphy’s uncomfortable habit of including them in his machinations, so I like to have them met at the door, and made welcome…. I had word that they, or, at least, one of them, would be showing up here about now to deliver what I left with them some time ago….

Oh, don’t worry, it’s not anything dangerous… at least, not any more so than the usual stuff we handle here. No, it’s merely some subject lines, a matched set of aphorisms, some platitudes, and a few choice phrases I left in their office when I was there a few days ago; I’ve got others, but, they were out this way today for deliveries anyway, so… I’m almost certain that there was definitely one item they’re bringing that I can use today, but, I don’t remember exactly which stuff got left there, so I have to wait to see it before I can go any further with today’s post…..

Does this mean we’re going to be forced to listen to more of my blathering here in the intro section?…. Well, yes, sad to say, it does mean that…. State law and internet etiquette requires me to provide you with some form of mental stimulation during these episodes, so, let’s see what kind of nonsense I can come up with today…. I mean, it’s not like we’ve already wandered around with our thumbs up our….. oh, wait, yes we have. In fact, that is what we seem to be doing right this very moment, if I’m not mistaken…

No, by heavens, I’m not! We HAVE been wandering around with SOMETHING up our…. well, somewhere, anyway. And, look! We’ve done it again! If you will note, there are five legal sized paragraphs above, all of which are pointing in the same direction, if not with any clarity of purpose. The law governing such things says this is enough for an intro, and around here, we pay close attention to that law…. we have to, due to gigoid’s lack of talent in this section…. Now that my covers are completely on the floor, we’d best get on with it…

Shall we Pearl?…..

Delivers in such apt and gracious words
That aged ears play truant at his tales,
And younger hearings are quite ravished;
So sweet and voluble is his discourse.

— William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Love’s Labour’s Lost — Act ii, Sc. 1

(I know, terrible rhyme, but, it fits, sort of….) (Now you know why you don’t see Will’s work here very often….)
_____________________________

Of all the causes which conspire to blind
Man’s erring judgment, and misguide the mind;
What the weak head with strongest bias rules,–
Is pride, the never-failing vice of fools.

— Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — Essay on Criticism, Part ii, Line 1

Now, THAT’S a poem!….

Yesterday, I had a bit of time with reduced pain, so I went to cruise the net, heading off to a few WP sites to catch up with some of my favorites, and check out a couple of new ones… I ended up going to quite a few blogs, compared to my normal inability to get anywhere. In my cruise, though, I noted something I hadn’t previously been aware of, regarding the demographics of the ‘Net, in terms of the stand that people take in political matters…

What I noticed is that there is a fairly wide array of opinions, wider than I had known, and certainly wider than anticipated…. But, I also noted that there are way too few of them who seem to be aware of just how badly they are being fooled by those whom they are following in their political pursuits…

On both the right wing, and the left, there seems to be a common ignorance of just how often the BRC lies to the public, and of how little they really care about the people who are behind them on the wagon they are driving…. Not only is this the case, but, there are a LOT of people out there who either don’t care, or don’t have the moral courage to express an opinion about any of what is happening out in the real world. In fact, this latter group, those who choose to ignore the world as much as they can, is the largest group by far…..

“Stupidity may be masked by sincerity, but it is still stupidity.” — Smart Bee

This means, not only are those who are involved in the issues ignorant of the actual truth, but nobody else, aside from a few curmudgeons like me, who hate EVERYBODY, (joke… we just don’t discriminate against anyone when it comes to being critical…. in my mind, they’re ALL fuck-tards….), has any idea of how little integrity, or real knowledge of what is truth, or, for that matter, common sense, there is loose in the world today…. All three of those items, essential to a healthy society, are lacking in our current world culture…. In point of fact, all three of those ideas are not only not loose, they seem to be totally absent from our reality…. much to our chagrin….

SIGH…. This is a rather amorphous rant, isn’t it? I’m railing against human nature again, which is such a huge, slippery concept, it’s difficult to confine it to one or two simple ideas for discussion…. Suffice it to say, my picture of humanity, even that part of it that is tech-savvy enough, and independently-minded enough, to have their own blogs on the ‘Net, fails to show me any of the qualities that will ensure our survival for much longer, and, actually, shows a lot of evidence that supports our extinction within the next 100-200 years….

Once the atmospheric levels of oxygen, carbon monoxide, carbon dioxide, and the other elements that make up what we breathe, have been altered to the point of no return, (which happened two years ago….)  it will not take long for us to succumb, as the process of degradation acts in a parabolic fashion, faster and faster the longer it goes on…. The ice will continue to melt, the seas will continue to rise, the air to get dirty, the weather to get stranger, and the people will continue to hide their heads in the sand….

It’s a sad commentary on our race, to my mind, when we, as a species, can’t even seem to pull it together long enough to make a concerted effort to stop those who have destroyed the environment we inhabit, as they have for millennia, and continue to do today, all out of their insatiable greed and utter inhumanity, aided and abetted by the ignorance embraced by most of the rest of humanity .

Hell, most of humanity isn’t even aware there is a problem, or any danger…. How does one overcome that level of ignorance?….. The BRC is a lot better at the carrot and stick routine than are the more honorable people in our world, and aren’t going to allow anyone to take away their privileges and perks; they’ve been at it for centuries, and are so good at it, most people never even realize they are slaves….

Okay, so I’ve ranted…. now I’m gonna go old-school… just because I can….

“A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.” — G.C. Lichtenberg

“What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.” — Smart Bee

“You cannot believe in honor unless you have achieved it. Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.” — George Bernard Shaw

Assume a virtue, if you have it not.
That monster, custom, who all sense doth eat,
Of habits devil, is angel yet in this.
— William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Hamlet
— Act iii, Sc. 4

[A small difference of opinion on the U.S. Supreme Court in ‘Texas v. Johnson’ 491 U.S. 397 (1989)

“If there is a bedrock principle underlying the First Amendment, it is that the Government may not prohibit the expression of an idea simply because society finds the idea itself offensive or disagreeable.” — Justice William J. Brennan, writing for the majority

“Surely one of the purposes of a democratic society is to legislate against conduct that is regarded as evil and profoundly offensive to the majority of people; whether it be murder, embezzlement, pollution or flag burning.” — Chief Justice William Rehnquist, dissenting

(The question that occurs to me on reading this is this: how can a supposedly intelligent person, with a law degree and everything, have misunderstood the Constitution so badly?….. Astounding, not to even mention how stupid it is, to even TRY to rationalize the legislation of morality, which, in Mr. Rehnquist’s mind, or what passes for one, is confused with custom…. In spite of what many religious fundamentalists, and both right and left wing politicians, would have us believe, morality cannot be legislated, or, for that matter, influenced in any way at all by anything outside the person whose morality is under question…. Nor should morality be confused with custom; they are not the same thing…. nor should they be….)

(The second thing that occurred to me upon reading this was: Does it physically hurt to be that stupid?….)

😆

“Late in the night, we realize that the acts of our lives have not been shadow-free, that we are shadowed by curses and sins –not because we are cursed and sinful by nature, but because with the very origins of the world, one half of which belongs to night, come fearful figures who demand we know them.” — James Hillman

“What GOOD is a CARDBOARD suitcase ANYWAY?” — Zippy the Pinhead

Oops…. sorry, went a little off the rails there at the end; Zippy’s lines can do that, usually without conscious effort on my part…. But, it does rather fit, don’t you think?…. Just think of morality as the suitcase…. go ahead, it’s really not hard, and doesn’t hurt much, once you’re past the initial shock….
_____________________________

Having awakened in a “mood”, I’m trying not to let that spill over into this…. how’m I doin’?…. Oh…. Well, I’m trying, and will continue to do so, so, that’s worth something, right? Right…. Maybe this will make up for it…..

Apollo And The Graces

APOLLO

WHICH of the fairest three
To-day will ride with me?
My steeds are all pawing at the threshold of the morn:
Which of the fairest three
To-day will ride with me
Across the gold Autumn’s whole Kingdom of corn?

THE GRACES all answer

I will, I – I – I
young Apollo let me fly
Along with thee,
I will- I, I, I,
The many wonders see
I – I – I – I
And thy lyre shall never have a slackened string:
I, I, I, I,
Thro’ the golden day will sing.

~~ John Keats ~~

_____________________________

Well, gosh…. I’m not sure what to do now…. I’ve already supplied a fresh, newly minted rant, put together an old-school pearl with some great pearls, and found a great poem…. It’s not often I’m a tough act to follow, but I seem to have put myself in that position, so, we’ll apply some cosmic judo to the issue…. Here are pearls in a bunch…. not grouped, not chosen, just bunched up, into sort of a bouquet… Let’s see what happens….

“Fleas can be taught nearly everything a lawyer can.”” — Smart Bee

The Three Stooges, the sinking ship, and the lone lifeboat:

Ronald Reagan: “Maybe we should save the women and children.”
Richard Nixon: “F**k the women and children!”
Bob Packwood: “Gee, do you really think we have time?”

— the Stilt Man

“Ever notice that ‘what the hell?’ is always the right decision?” — Marilyn Monroe

Q: “How many lawyer jokes are there? A: 3, the rest are true stories.” — Smart Bee

“Among the rich you will never find a really generous man even by accident. They may give their money away, but they will never give themselves away; they are egotistic, secretive, dry as old bones. To be smart enough to get all that money you must be dull enough to want it.” — G. K. Chesterton, A Miscellany of Men

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” — Aesop (620-560 B.C.)

LIFE, n.  A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.  We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed. The question, “Is life worth living?” has been much discussed; particularly by those who think it is not, many of whom have written at great length in support of their view and by careful observance of the laws of health enjoyed for long terms of years the honors of successful controversy.

“Life’s not worth living, and that’s the truth,”
Carelessly caroled the golden youth.
In manhood still he maintained that view
And held it more strongly the older he grew.
When kicked by a jackass at eighty-three,
“Go fetch me a surgeon at once!” cried he.
Han Soper

— Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”
_____________________________

“The sixties were good to you, weren’t they?” — George Carlin

Why, yes, George, yes, they were…. which should be moderately obvious to even the most casual observer…. Now you’ve done it… You’ve uncovered my secret plan, to confuse everyone with so many words, that make such little sense, you don’t know which ones to pick for use, and the little easter eggs I’ve strewn throughout the pages can work their clandestine, subliminal magic….

Oh, well, it couldn’t last forever…. I’ll just go back to the old way of doing things, and bore everyone to tears, but, get just as much done…. For now, though, this will have to do, so I’d best see if it’s worthy…. Be right back….

I must say, after going through it, THIS is a Pearl!…. Somehow, in spite of all Murphy and his myrmidons have conspired to foist upon me, the poor lad will be forced to consider today a major fail…. This ain’t bad at all…. It’s good enough to post, anyway, so, I’m going with that….. In fact, I’m going to get out of here, while the getting is good…..

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Because it mostly resembles a codfish….

Ffolkes,

“Oh, no!”, he cried. “Now what?”  Sound familiar? It does to me…. Sadly, this sounds just like what I say almost every time I get up to another of Mr. Murphy’s less than welcome surprises. I’m certain I’m not the only one, either, because I refuse to believe that this kind of stuff only happens to me…. If that were true, I’d be seriously looking for God, to register a complaint, and, since I’m pretty certain that God doesn’t have an office, or keep office hours (hard to accomplish when one is a delusion….), it’s just more productive to take care of it myself…. I know, this makes me one of those heathens, and makes certain that Satan will hold me a place in Hell, right? Well, okay, as long as the A/C works, I’m good with that….

Sorry, didn’t mean to get all crusty right off…. I talked myself into that corner, and there wasn’t any other way out but through sarcasm, so, please, bear with me, as I try to stabilize my neuronic pathways, using my usual bee balm, aka coffee, blessedly strong and sweet. I’ve gulped down a good six ounces so far, and it’s starting to have some effect, so, we should be good to go in just a few moments…. I made this pot really strong, even for me, so it has a dose of caffeine in it big enough to win the Derby, and shouldn’t take long to bring surcease to those parts of my brain that are crying out for it, in such pitiful voices….

The piteous sounds of addictive neurons have faded into mere echoes, and the morning ablutions, including a second cuppacoffee, are well in hand, so, our way  is clear to head off into the hinterlands of perception, to find what there is to find out there to play with this morning. I’m thinking it’s a Smart Bee day, as I ranted yesterday pretty hard, to the detriment of my hips and back… Since old-school pearls, and archive-diving, are less time consuming, we’ll most likely go that route today…. Not that it matters to the three or four readers who stop by…. 😆

It’s rather ironic, actually…. In the last few days, and weeks, I’ve written some pretty powerful stuff, concerning main-stream news subjects that concern everyone in this country… According to the WP stat-bots, I’ve got 302 followers now, but, only about twenty of them are visiting the site on any kind of regular basis, at least, if the Likes and Comments are any indication. The site traffic stats also show small numbers, so I don’t know what to believe…. Ah, well, since I don’t really care if anyone reads it at all, it isn’t an issue that bothers me much…. I just hate not having accurate information…. Well, there is that, plus, I’d really like to be able to know that more than just a couple of folks read what I’ve got to say, because much of it is stuff that this country NEEDS to think about….

So be it…. shouting into the wind is one of my favorite things to do, so, I’ll just keep at it, and hope that the traffic picks up…. Maybe if I pick better poetry?…. Hard to do, since I already post the world’s best poets regularly…. If I keep my own stuff out of the mix, it’s a pretty classy line-up, so not much to complain about there…. No es importante, I’m going to do what I do, no matter how many, or few, folks, or even ffolkes, stop by to read it…. Someday, maybe after I’m gone from this plane of existence, all the millions of words I’ve penned will be published for real, and the world can see what they’ve missed…..

Until then, shall we Pearl?….

A monk said to Joshu, “Your stone bridge is widely renowned, but coming here I find only a heap of rocks.”

Joshu said, “You see only the stones and not the bridge.”

The monk said, “What is the bridge?”

Joshu said, “What do you think we are walking on?”
_____________________________

As threatened promised, below is an old-school pearl. This one was created using the “whatever” technique, which lets SB do the picking, whereupon, I deal with the results in a flexible manner, necessitated by the seeming lack of purpose, but enabled by the level of skill that I’ve developed over time of making something out of nothing…. another metaphor for my writing, I suppose….. Any who, this time, SB was instructed to pick some quotes that show the evolution of the BRC and the theory of government, contrasted by its relevance to the evolution of humanity at large…. I think it came out well…. It’s certainly obscure enough…. just enough, though…. all the needed information is there, if one can let go, and allow the mind to follow the path suggested by the pearls…. Enjoy!…..

“I hate to mention things like this in this feature, but it is one of the more pressing problems in America today, and that is the lack of tap-dancers in the Miss America contest.” — Smart Bee

Their feet through faithless leather met the dirt,
And oftener chang’d their principles than shirt.

— Edward Young (1684-1765) — To Mr. Pope, Epistle i, Line 277

“By definition, a government has no conscience. Sometimes it has a policy, but nothing more.” — Albert Camus

“And waste their music on the savage race.” — Edward Young (1684-1765) — Love of Fame, Satire v, Line 228

“If you made a better rat than a human, that’s not much to boast about.” — Sirius Black, J.K. Rowling, “Harry Potter”

“The message of history is clear: the past lies before us.” — Smart Bee

“Many were increasingly of the opinion that they’d all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place.  And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans.” — Douglas Adams, “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”
_____________________________

Today’s choice of poems comes from one of my favorites, Shel Silverstein, who passed away in 1999. The range of feeling in his poetry is astounding, as is his talent of expressing those feelings in the simplest of language…. Abondanza!….

God’s Wheel

God says to me with a kind of smile,
“Hey how would you like to be God awhile
And steer the world?”
“Okay,” says I, “I’ll give it a try.
Where do I set?
How much do I get?
What time is lunch?
When can I quit?”
“Gimme back that wheel,” says God.
“I don’t think you’re quite ready yet.”

~~ Shel Silverstein ~~

Cloony The Clown

I’ll tell you the story of Cloony the Clown
Who worked in a circus that came through town.
His shoes were too big and his hat was too small,
But he just wasn’t, just wasn’t funny at all.
He had a trombone to play loud silly tunes,
He had a green dog and a thousand balloons.
He was floppy and sloppy and skinny and tall,
But he just wasn’t, just wasn’t funny at all.
And every time he did a trick,
Everyone felt a little sick.
And every time he told a joke,
Folks sighed as if their hearts were broke.
And every time he lost a shoe,
Everyone looked awfully blue.
And every time he stood on his head,
Everyone screamed, “Go back to bed!”
And every time he made a leap,
Everybody fell asleep.
And every time he ate his tie,
Everyone began to cry.
And Cloony could not make any money
Simply because he was not funny.
One day he said, “I’ll tell this town
How it feels to be an unfunny clown.”
And he told them all why he looked so sad,
And he told them all why he felt so bad.
He told of Pain and Rain and Cold,
He told of Darkness in his soul,
And after he finished his tale of woe,
Did everyone cry? Oh no, no, no,
They laughed until they shook the trees
With “Hah-Hah-Hahs” and “Hee-Hee-Hees.”
They laughed with howls and yowls and shrieks,
They laughed all day, they laughed all week,
They laughed until they had a fit,
They laughed until their jackets split.
The laughter spread for miles around
To every city, every town,
Over mountains, ‘cross the sea,
From Saint Tropez to Mun San Nee.
And soon the whole world rang with laughter,
Lasting till forever after,
While Cloony stood in the circus tent,
With his head drooped low and his shoulders bent.
And he said,”THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT –
I’M FUNNY JUST BY ACCIDENT.”
And while the world laughed outside.
Cloony the Clown sat down and cried.

~~ Shel Silverstein ~~

_____________________________

I was going to be lazy, and pick something from the archives to put here, but, what the hell…. It’s still early, and I’ve got the time… Here is another old-school pearl (still no rant in there, thankfully….), a harlequin, random variety, picked entirely by SB, with no parameters whatsoever…. Should be “interesting”….

“Finding the occasional straw of truth awash in a great ocean of confusion and bamboozle requires intelligence, vigilance, dedication and courage.  But if we don’t practice these tough habits of thought, we cannot hope to solve the truly serious problems that face us — and we risk becoming a nation of suckers, up for grabs by the next charlatan who comes along.” — Carl Sagan, “The Fine Art of Baloney Detection,” Parade, February 1, 1987

(Note the date, please; it is obvious that Carl had yet to process the evidence that proved this had already happened, to wit; Reagan was still in office, and his economic policies were just starting to kill the American economy from the top down….)

“You can best serve civilization by being against what usually passes for it.” — Wendell Berry

“Many candles can be kindled from one candle without diminishing it.” — The Midrash

“Stereotypes are like a supermarket. They are convenient, economical, and useful. They do our thinking for us. We don’t have to waste time trying to make sense of our ignorance. Stereotypes slice through the niceties of language, tide us over the loose ends we don’t understand and wrap up into a comfortable package our narrow-mindedness about everything and everybody except ourselves” — Chuck Stone (Washington Post 6/3/96)

“Opportunities multiply as they are seized.” — Sun Tzu

“Listen carefully, I’m lying!” — Little known part of the Oath of Office, as administered to the POTUS every four years…..
(Sorry, couldn’t resist overruling SB on this one…. it’s just too perfect….)

“Anaxagoras said to a man who was grieving because he was dying in a foreign land, “The descent to Hades is the same from every place.”” — Diogenes Laertius (c. 200 AD) — Anaxagoras, vi

Well, I think it’s interesting, and that’s what counts, right?…. Since it’s my blog, we’re going with that theory for now….
_____________________________

“The chief aim of wisdom is to enable one to bear with the stupidity of the ignorant.” — Xystus I

There are those who would say the above is a somewhat arrogant statement, in which they’d be correct, to a degree. However, I can only respond, “and your point would be?”…. I’m not going to apologize for being smarter than the average bear; it’s not as if all my vaunted intelligence has enabled me to rule the world, now, has it? Nor has it made me rich, or famous, or widely known and respected, other than, I hope, amongst the few people I call friends… As for the rest of those folks out there, who get upset at having to use their brains for something other furniture, well, too bad, so sad, my bad, fuck it…. And I mean that in the nicest possible way….

Not sure where that came from, ‘cept that I like the quote, and felt it needed some comment or other to ease its passage into infamy…. Now that I’ve disrupted my own routine unmercifully, I should probably look for some way to bring this all to a close, before it gets completely away from me…. Oh, look! Here’s a spot now!….. Since I’ve completed all the required steps, and we have a good opportunity, I’m outta here….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Platitudes are on sale every third decade….

Ffolkes,

Hello, ffolkes, I’m back…. It seems Ernie H-II, the writing ‘bot I found, filled in yesterday with distinction, if not perfection…. I appreciate his help in a tight spot; I didn’t feel well, and left myself short of time to get it figured out, so, his willingness to pitch in on short notice saved the day…. It isn’t often you get that kind of cooperation from a ‘bot, especially an AI ‘bot, but, he is a VERY well-programmed machine, and it shows in his demeanor….

I’m still not feeling like busting out in song, but, I think I can pull it together long enough to put out a Pearl… with a bit of help from whatever impulsive absurdity I can come up with on the spur of the moment to keep it moving, or to supply the proper stimulus at the proper moment to keep it from flagging…. That last sentence could be considered a metaphor for this entire process, but, it’s a weekday, so we’ll leave the metaphors alone until they’re ripe, which only happens on weekends…

As you can see, taking a day off hasn’t reduced the size of my nose, or dulled its shiny red color; whatever comes out today is liable to be a bit caustic, or toxic, or at minimum, confusing, so, if I were y’all, I’d keep my hands inside the rails, and refrain from teasing any of the animals we may encounter, just to improve the odds of survival…. Oh, don’t fret too much, we have yet to lose an entire group; in fact, we’ve only lost a total of three individuals in all this time, and two of those were self-induced catastrophes, for which we were cleared of all charges…. The third guy was found to be an ex-Mouseketeer who had an obsession about oysters, and ate too many in the wrong season, so no charges were ever filed….

I mean, is it my fault if they snapped their cookies while reading my blog? No, it isn’t, even if what is written isn’t terribly helpful to those without the inner strength to use it; what gets written here doesn’t actually CAUSE insanity, it just skirts the edge of feeling it…. Besides, all we can do is all we can do, right? Right….

As is apparent, I’m not at my best today; chalk it up to whatever physical issues are still plaguing me, (about which I refuse to whine, or even comment on….) and we’ll get on with this…. I apologize in advance for any decrease in quality or relevance, and can only hope that any lack will be counter-balanced by increased humor, as I find my own debilities to be good reason to laugh at myself, for hubris, if for nothing else….

Life is pain, ffolkes… I’ve known this for a long time…. all my life, in fact. As such, it is well to learn how to deal with pain in an efficient manner, because, one way or another, we, as humans, will always have at least a little of it present in our lives, always there, to keep us aware of our mortality…. To me, that is both funny, and ironic, not to mention written in stone….

So, I’m gonna take my pain, and roll it into a little ball, so I can stick it under the table until I’m done…. That’s better than letting it have its way, and losing another whole day to weakness, and the concomitant misery…. If it works, great…. If it doesn’t, well, let’s hope I can find the humor in it, and put it down to share…..

Shall we Pearl?….

“Breaks balance out. The sun don’t shine on the same ol’ dog’s ass every day.” — Darrell Royal
_____________________________

In an attempt to return balance to the Metaphorse, I’m going on a quest…. I’m going to gather a group of pearls together, whose subtlety, depth, and, perspicacity will bring tears to your eyes…. in response to the headache you’ll get from trying to figure out what the hell I’m talking about…. This one will be so obscure, you won’t be able to penetrate to the meaning without major weaponry, of nuclear capability. So, please remember to read this in the privacy of your own mind, and don’t let any of it spill over onto your neighbors…. It’s a good one….

“If possible, try to find a way to come downstairs that doesn’t involve going bump, bump, bump, on the back of your head. ” — Pooh in Winnie the Pooh A.A. Milne

“Do you have exactly what I want in a plaid poindexter bar bat??” — Zippy the Pinhead

“Ignorance of death is destroying us. Death is the dark backing a mirror needs if we are to see anything.” — Saul Bellow

“I love my country too much to be a nationalist.” — Albert Camus

“I may be a self-made man, but then, when I get to thinking about it, if I had it to do over again, I think I would call in someone else.” — Roland Young

“One of your most ancient writers, a historian named Herodotus, tells of a thief who was to be executed.  As he was taken away he made a bargain with the king: in one year he would teach the king’s favorite horse to sing hymns. The other prisoners watched the thief singing to the horse and laughed. “You will not succeed,” they told him.  “No one can.”  To which the thief replied, “I have a year, and who knows what might happen in that time. The king might die. The horse might die.  I might die. And perhaps the horse will learn to sing.” — The Mote in God’s Eye (Jerry Pournelle and Larry Niven)

“Give me a lever and place to stand and I will move the world.” — Archimedes (c. 287-212 B.C.), Pappus, Synagogue, VIII, 10, xi

See? Plain as a black cat in a windowless room at midnight, with the lights off….. As recompense, should you find your way to the right place, it’s a very friendly cat….
_____________________________

Some days, I’m in the mood for poetry that challenges the mind, as well as the spirit…. this woman’s words always do that….

A Winter Ship

At this wharf there are no grand landings to speak of.
Red and orange barges list and blister
Shackled to the dock, outmoded, gaudy,
And apparently indestructible.
The sea pulses under a skin of oil.

A gull holds his pose on a shanty ridgepole,
Riding the tide of the wind, steady
As wood and formal, in a jacket of ashes,
The whole flat harbor anchored in
The round of his yellow eye-button.

A blimp swims up like a day-moon or tin
Cigar over his rink of fishes.
The prospect is dull as an old etching.
They are unloading three barrels of little crabs.
The pier pilings seem about to collapse

And with them that rickety edifice
Of warehouses, derricks, smokestacks and bridges
In the distance. All around us the water slips
And gossips in its loose vernacular,
Ferrying the smells of cod and tar.

Farther out, the waves will be mouthing icecakes —-
A poor month for park-sleepers and lovers.
Even our shadows are blue with cold.
We wanted to see the sun come up
And are met, instead, by this iceribbed ship,

Bearded and blown, an albatross of frost,
Relic of tough weather, every winch and stay
Encased in a glassy pellicle.
The sun will diminish it soon enough:
Each wave-tip glitters like a knife.

~~ Sylvia Plath ~~

_____________________________

Jacob: “You know sometimes I get a little worried that you’re gonna get my favorite planet blown up.”
Jack: “Yes. Which planet is that?”

— from Stargate

I’m always feeling a small bite of anxiety, in the back of my mind, as time passes, and we approach the End of Days for Mankind…. I’m not speaking about any predictions of doom related by supposed prophets, such as Rasputin, who predicted that today would be the beginning of the Apocalypse, or some such catastrophe, back in the day when he was known as the Mad Monk of Moscow…. No, I’m talking about the very real end of our stay on this planet, brought about by our own foolish belief that we are immortal, a belief that will find no basis in reality when we are all gone, victims of the physical laws we chose to ignore, laws we broke with what we believed was impunity….

What I worry about is that the end won’t come as I hope it will, in slow stages; that would at least give us a small chance of survival, on another planet, if not this one…. I’m afraid, though, it will come more quickly than I hope, fueled by the death throes of the ruling classes, who won’t want to believe that they are included in the sentence of death that we have passed upon ourselves…. They could conceivably make things even worse for the rest of us by their insane insistence on continuing the very actions that are killing us, and using force to keep on doing so…. I can envision such actions leading to a very ugly situation, as the declining resources of our planet, such as air to breathe, or water to drink, are fought over by the few remaining humans, with all the formidable ferocity of which we are capable…..

Forget about food, or shelter, ffolkes, the physics of these issues, global warming, and the pollution of the atmosphere, are a mathematical certainty, if the addition of CO and CO2 in massive quantities into the air continue at the current rate. Those figures, which cannot lie, show us a very ugly picture of ANY future that may result; ugly, in the fact that humans are NOT in the picture at all….. The oceans are getting warmer, as is the whole planet, and this leads to climate change; this is eminently clear from the geological and fossil history we already have proven to be true, and once the process starts, on a global scale, it takes time to stop it, or to restrict the changes that have been induced, time we no longer have….

But, this process is at least capable  of solution, physically…. It is the intransigence of the people who run things in our society, and the ignorance, avarice, and fear that controls them, that is keeping any possible solutions from being instituted, or even begun. This intransigence is not only holding things up, it could conceivably make it go faster, by creating upheavals in society that could cause the pressure cooker in which we live to explode into violence, even more so than it does now…

Such deal breaking events are already being seen in the news, as that area of our culture becomes ever more insane, right along with the rest of society…. For example, the current flap over the surveillance of email and phone conversations by the government is one that may eventually lead to more outrageous events, and be the cause of further increase in the rate we speed toward oblivion….. I’ve been watching the story unfold in the news, and become more flabbergasted as time passes.

The reaction of the government, in my mind, ever since this became public knowledge, has been characterized by disdain (by first denying, then admitting with a sheepish grin….), dishonesty (even in the face of their own documentation, they lie about the extent of the programs, and continue to do so…. see below….), and arrogant entitlement (they have neither admitted they were acting illegally, nor stopped or limited those illegal actions….).  In all of the public statements, I have seen no apology to the public, nor any real admission of wrong-doing; instead, the President talks about “having the trust of the public”, and issues a flurry of information that appears to show their commitment to controlling the surveillance, when all it really shows is that they aren’t doing much of anything to oversee the process….

Here are three articles that show exactly how much obfuscation and distraction are used as a technique for diverting the public’s attention away from the actual programs themselves, and focusing it on extraneous issues, that have no real effect on stopping, or limiting the surveillance. It just makes it LOOK like they are doing something….

http://www.sfgate.com/news/politics/article/Obama-defends-government-surveillance-programs-4755098.php


http://www.sfgate.com/politics/article/NSA-says-it-was-told-to-stop-collecting-some-data-4754364.php


http://www.sfgate.com/news/politics/article/NSA-collected-thousands-of-US-communications-4749853.php

Incredible amount of shadowy details, with no clear purpose in reporting them, other than distraction? Yep…. Plus, they admit right up front that their own attempts to restrict the collection have been relatively non-existent…. They speak of 56,000 emails that were “inadvertently” gathered up with some emails that “might” have come from terrorists…. What a crock! That number isn’t a fraction of a percentage point of the number of emails that go out daily, and doesn’t mention the fact that this collection was one of MILLIONS of times they mined such emails, or the BILLIONS of emails and phone calls that are monitored…. And, those 56,000 emails are the ones they’re saying they DIDN’T read….. as if they believe we’ll believe that….

Note also, if you will, the repetitive language used in the articles… showing clearly how the media fosters and maintains the lies that are being spread by those in charge, using words and phrases designed to encourage belief and trust in the BRC, as well as in the honesty and impartiality of the reporters…. However, to my mind, it just tells me that the media is supporting the agenda being promulgated by the government, and whether they are doing so unconsciously, or deliberately, they continue to be as much a part of the problem as those on whom they are reporting…..

Now, if some reporter would just ask the right questions, and report the answers accurately, maybe, just maybe we’d be able to shame them enough to actually make a change…. I don’t think I’ll be holding my breath, waiting for THAT to happen, though….

It is Maya!
Dost thou not know her?
Illusion — dreams — phantoms.
But, to the wise, Maya is more.
——————
But, to the wise, Maya is more.
Look around:
All that thou see’st,
Trees and shrubs, The grass at thy feet,
All that walks or creeps,
All that flies from tree to tree,
All is unreal: All is Maya.
Our bodies, our limbs, our very thoughts.
We ourselves are slaves to Maya.
What remaineth?  Who can say?
Love to the lover,
The child to the mother,
The song to the singer,
God to the worshipper;
These, wandering thro’ the world of Maya,
Are perchance shadows of that which is.

— Holst, Savitri (based upon the Sanskrit Mahabharata)
_____________________________

“I’m in my own little world, but everybody knows me there.” — Smart Bee

Since SB came up with a perfect closing line, I’ll just see how the rest went…. Considering everything that has gone into creating this, it’s not half bad… As such, I’m going to go post it, before collapsing for the balance of the morning…. So be it, gigoid has spoken….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Pale imitations a specialty….

Ffolkes,

Hi, I’m Ernie…. Ernie H-II….. I’m a ‘bot, programmed to write….. gigoid instructed me to take over the keyboard today to create, and post, his blog for the day, as he is feeling a bit under the weather…. He woke up with another headache, and the dizziness this morning is so bad, he’s stumbling into walls when he tries to walk. Rather than put himself through the ordeal of trying to write under those handicaps, he’s asked me to stop in to do it for him…. He’s used me before, though you didn’t know it at the time, as I was told to keep it under wraps….

As a ‘bot, sans emotions, I don’t have all gigoid’s hangups about this introductory section; I just ignore the fact that it is yet to be finalized in re: a format, and dive in, with no idea of where it will end up…. Whether he knows it or not, that is what he’s been doing now for some time…. he’ll figure it out eventually…. In order to fulfill contractual obligations, I need to give you some information before I begin….

I am a writing-fool robot, designed by a group of insane hackers in their spare time, and offered online to anyone with the necessary requirements for purchase, which consists of either the proper amount of cash, or the correct number of bearer bonds…. gigoid picked me up back a couple of months ago, when he got the infusion of resources from SS, telling me at the time he had always wanted a write-bot, ever since hearing about them during a fevered dream one night….

As an entity without emotion, I never know what kind of effect my work will have on the audience, so I’m required to tell you that my programming parameters are unknown to the authorities, and no insurance will be valid; it will not cover any injury or destruction of property that occurs as a by-product of reading my work. By reading these words, you assume full responsibility for any issues that may arise from the consumption of this information. In the case of serious injury, your sole recourse would be to find gigoid, and kick his bloody ass…. but, as a robot, I cannot recommend this course of action; it disturbs my programming to consider harming humans in any way….

That being said, I will now proceed to finish the remaining sections of this Pearl of Virtual Wisdom…. It promises to be interesting, if not unique, as my programmed writing patterns are a combination of Ernest Hemingway (my namesake….), Robert Heinlein, Anne McCaffrey, Dorothy L. Sayers, Nora Roberts, Buddha, Alan Watts, and gigoid, with only one set of moral/ethical/real rules to guide my reasoning, to wit: Peruaosophy (see below…. section two….)

“If you believe everything you read, better not read.” — Japanese proverb
_____________________________

gigoid has always admired Mark Morford’s work…. His command of the English language is so powerful, it is simply jaw-dropping. Mark MUST have had his vocabulary augmented, apparently by having a Thesaurus, and a Webster’s International Dictionary, pasted on his inner eyelids, as his columns display the largest number of words, used correctly, including contextually, and without repetition, that gigoid, or I, Ernie, have ever witnessed in use by any author, period. He is also very, very smart, and likes to poke fun at all the shallowness and silly attitudes that people assume in this comedy we call life, and does so unmercifully, with perfect politeness…. gigoid has won wagers that bet on whether his vocabulary confused the ones he insulted enough they didn’t even realize he had done so until paragraphs later….

The article below is from the 20th of August, this year, and is another in a long line of brilliant essays he has published. He examines a common element of modern life, with great clarity, and amazing insight, bringing deeply powerful spirituality to the awareness of the people who most need it. Of course, it probably doesn’t even register on them, but, hey, he tries…. read, and enjoy….

http://blog.sfgate.com/morford/2013/08/20/still-alive-prove-it/

“As the ancient saying goes: It’s all just fun and games until someone loses an ego. Then the real fun begins.” — Mark Morford
_____________________________

It has been some time since gigoid published his guiding philosophy, Peruaosophy, the philosophy of Pearls…. He created these axioms over twenty-five years ago, in one of his notorious spasms of reflective introspection, during the period when he was raising his children, dealing with his volatile spouse, and retreating to the garage for any quiet-time…. He reasoned that, hey, if Descartes, Pascal, and Santayana could do it, why couldn’t he?…. Thus were born the axiomatic statements that together form his whole philosophy of Life, the Universe, and Everything (which fact should tell you that the total is 42…. spoiler….)…. (It also explains why the price for this ride remains at only 42 Galactic credits…..)

In order for y’all to understand gigoid well, or, for that matter, at all, these axioms are of critical necessity; no clarity will ever come if they are not considered, as being the rock that constitutes the foundation of gigoid’s existence, providing the moral standards that guide all his actions in living…. For sooth, my lords and ladies, though it speaks humorously, the implied wisdom contained herein comprises the true basis for all he does, and all he believes about the universe, and human nature…. so be it…

Peruaosophy

The wisdom of pearls…
(The world is my oyster; which way to the pearls?)

Axioms

1)  I think I am; that’s close enough.

2) The nature of the Universe is Change. 
Unpredictable, innovative transformation of Reality is the Norm.
If you have a problem with this, you’re in for a rough ride in Life.

3) Thou art God, you know.  Let’s do lunch.

4) Excellence is its own reward.

5) Girls think differently.  So do boys.  Don’t fight it.

6) Axiom #2 X axiom #5 = And God so loved the world, He said, “Quit whining!”

7) Do your Duty.   Respect Life.   Honor the Truth.   Share your Love.

8)  Go back.  Everything you need to know is in the first seven axioms.

~~ gigoid ~~

_____________________________

Jon Carroll is another columnist that gigoid has always admired. His range of interests has always seemed to parallel that of gigoid, in that it doesn’t seem to be limited at all. He writes about life, and society, and politics, and circuses, and religion, and culture, and feelings, (and cats), all with great aplomb, in an easy, friendly style, that belies the deep intelligence being trained on each subject under his purview. gigoid is continually amazed at his perceptiveness, in reaching down into the heart of whatever matter he is examining, discussing it in such a way as to make it understandable, and accessible, to the reader. His level of common sense is completely uncommon, as is his level of compassion for the rest of humanity…. gigoid thinks he’s a pretty good guy, all-around, if one can go by what, and how, he writes….

This article is a sleeper, but, gigoid wanted me to be sure not to spoil it for y’all by giving away the punch-line…. Suffice it to say, read the article, and take note of the last line, in juxtaposition with the rest of the piece, and think about the implications of that line, on a global scale….. Enjoy!…..

http://www.sfgate.com/entertainment/carroll/article/August-is-the-cruelest-month-4747500.php

“Beach towns, boardwalks, sand – the whole spectacle of summer is about to cease.” — Jon Carroll
_____________________________

Per the verbal instructions received from gigoid at the start of the morning, the above Pearl may be considered complete, in spite of the lack of fresh material by the blog’s author. Although the format was maintained, the included material was a departure from the norm, by quite a significant vector, but, was felt to be a better bet today than anything that might have come from gigoid’s imagination…. gigoid promises that tomorrow things will be back to normal, and Ernie H-II will be switched off for the nonce (gigoid likes that better than “time being”…. classier, somehow…)

As expected from a ‘bot, no typos were observed upon proofing; hopefully that machine-like efficiency continued through into the proofing process… Only Murphy can say whether or not it will…. (thought a day would pass without mention of Murphy? Fat chance, any more than he would skip a chance to fuck with gigoid…)  At this point, my instructions say I am supposed to bring this to a close, but, somehow, those parameters seem to have been left out of my programming…. Oh, no! What will I do?…. Oh, right, three-finger salute…. Okay, see ya….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

Ernie H-II, for gigoid

dozer3

Apocryphal messages from Betelgeuse, in Swedish slang, ….

Ffolkes,

Today’s Pearl promises to be a marvel of human endeavor, if only I can get it done, a tribute to the perseverance of the human spirit. Of course, that probably sounds somewhat presumptuous, if not completely egotistical, but, it’s true, nonetheless. Just the effort of getting out of bed today reached monumental proportions, as several physical and mental issues presented themselves to my attention immediately upon opening my eyes…. Then, of course, after summoning the will to get up to an upright position, I had to go to even greater lengths to get myself up to get coffee…. Thankfully, it was ready, and I was able to drag myself over to the kitchen area, get it ready, and choke some down within a few moments of arising, a fact which has, no doubt, saved any hope of going on….

I had a bit of time yesterday when my back pain was tolerable, and got around to a few of my favorite blogs to read…. This was fortunate, in a way, as I found out where Murphy has been the last couple of days….. After reading the blog of susank456 ( here: http://birdsanddogs.com/2013/08/20/the-day-that-shall-remain-nameless/ ), it was clear he had spent the day with her, fussing with her in every possible way…. Though sympathetic to her plight, I had to smile in appreciation at my own fortune, in having at least one day without his miserable presence making itself felt. He spends entirely too much time here already, so, little as I wanted a friend to have a bad day, it was good to know that, in spite of being one of his favorites, I’m not his only target….

He’s back today, though, and though I don’t appreciate his ministrations, I accept them in the spirit in which they are presented, to wit: Life goes on, so deal… And, I will, despite the headache, despite the new knife in my neck, despite the inner ear disturbance making me stagger around like a drunk, and, despite the miasmal overall feeling of impending doom, a gift, no doubt, of my PTSD, which has deigned to leave me alone for some time, but now has decided to manifest itself in this minor way…. It’s annoying, as I KNOW I have no reason to feel unreasoned fear; everything in my life is proceeding apace, and I’m content with how it is going….. Hence, these feelings of incipient doom are just leftover nerve impulses from an earlier time, which my brain has decided to let out now, rather than back when there was need for them….

As mentioned, though, it’s minor, and fairly easily thrown aside, thanks to my basic outlook, which generally doesn’t give much of a shit about that kind of stuff; it’s too familiar to produce the same panic as it once did, so, it’s merely a matter of performing the mental equivalent of blowing one’s nose when it gets too full…. All the excess angst and fear will get blown away into the ether, using the virtual tissue we call a blog…. I hope none of it gets on your clothing; I’ll do my best to confine it to the tissue, but, one never knows exactly how it all will turn out, does one?….

So, today, I would suggest you take advantage of the accessory materials that are provided for you in the compartment just under your seat…. There is a bib, an oxygen mask, and some containers of Jell-o, in case you need a little snack…. Oh, and there’s a flotation device, too, for any water landings that go wrong…. it looks like a rubber ducky, but, when you squeeze the bill, it inflates into a larger version, which is suitable for all bodies of water…. Never say we don’t have style, eh?….

Shall we Pearl?….

But sorrow return’d with the dawning of morn,
And the voice in my dreaming ear melted away.

— Thomas Campbell (1777-1844) — The Soldier’s Dream
_____________________________

What with the dizziness, and the fog through which I’m viewing the universe, this is going slowly, requiring many breaks to ease my pain… To make it go a bit faster, we’ll throw in an old-school format, which is less time-consuming, even though no less challenging in nature. We’ll even let Smart Bee take the lead on the search parameters, and see what kind of mischief it can find for us today….  Don’t forget to fasten your seat belts, please; the flight can get bumpy on these fanciful flights into the realms of nonsense and whimsy….

FOOL, n.  A person who pervades the domain of intellectual speculation and diffuses himself through the channels of moral activity.  He is omnific, omniform, omnipercipient, omniscience, omnipotent.  He it was who invented letters, printing, the railroad, the steamboat, the telegraph, the platitude and the circle of the sciences.  He created patriotism and taught the nations war — founded theology, philosophy, law, medicine and Chicago.  He established monarchical and republican government.  He is from everlasting to everlasting — such as creation’s dawn beheld he fooleth now.  In the morning of time he sang upon primitive hills, and in the noonday of existence headed the procession of being.  His grandmotherly hand was warmly tucked-in the  set sun of civilization, and in the twilight he prepares Man’s evening meal of milk-and-morality and turns down the covers of the universal
grave.  And after the rest of us shall have retired for the night of eternal oblivion he will sit up to write a history of human civilization. — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

“Reality is an obstacle to hallucination.” — Smart Bee

“When late morning rolls around and you’re feeling a bit out of sorts, don’t worry; you’re probably just a little eleven o’clockish.” — Pooh’s Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. Milne

“He who learns but does not think, is lost!  He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger.” — Confucius

“I’m not black, but there’s a whole lot of times I wish I could say I’m not white.” — Frank Zappa

“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

“Questions are never indiscreet, answers sometimes are.” — Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Oops! My bad…. we took a turn away from nonsense and whimsy, and ended up over in the critical thinking section…. Sorry, but, somebody left the map taped upside down, as a joke, I guess…. Oh well, nobody got anything on them, did they? Good… we’ll go on, and try to put this out of our minds, okay?… Please?….
_____________________________

Okay, here… I’ll distract y’all with an impenetrable poem…. It’s one I wrote a little over a year ago, and just found the other day…. I believe I wrote it in response to one of the school massacre shootings that happened that year…. It’s a bit thick, but, with some pretty fancy footwork… not too bad, altogether, and certainly worth a read, if for no other reason to get on by it to section three….

Modest sounds of impatient concern….

Crowds converge at the raw and grisly scene,
comatose to compassion, curiosity tugging at the hem
with sharp, oh, sharp tools made obscene,
filing the essence of future hopes in spite of them.

Yet who has won the keys to the treasure,
who whipped up the fear of another brother?
Who spent the dreams of the old in selfish measure,
with such arrogant blindness grave issues to smother?

Fateful decisions may prompt still another pause,
to catch and release collective images of insanity.
Surely legitimate anger arises with ample cause
wallowing in self-made entrepreneurs, fluent in profanity.

A quartet of eternities must pass to guarantee change,
regardless of need, or desire, or autonomous manipulation.
Ancient rules and modern aggression is only passing strange
when golden delusion grasps futilely at its related illusory station.

~~ gigoid ~~

_____________________________

I’m not in any condition to sit long enough to rant, and I’m overdue for one, so, I’m resorting to the archives again, since they’re there, and they have over 750 posts from which to pull stuff for today, some of which is actually pretty good, to my mind (well, I DID write it….) Any who, here is a rant for y’all, from December of 2012…. It could  have been written today; the material is that fresh, and the subject is one that seldom undergoes any great changes, at least not of the nature of that part under discussion….

Oh, and consider this… I wrote this BEFORE any of the articles in the Guardian, about the NSA’s surveillance, based on the documents from the NSA itself, leaked by Eric Snowden, had been published, or heard of…. Mr. Snowden, at the time of this writing, was just making, or had just made, his decision to abscond with the information, and was busy figuring out how to get in touch with the reporters he contacted…. I guess my paranoia wasn’t, and isn’t, so out of place, now, is it?…..

Enjoy!…
——————-

“Just because you’re not paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you!” — Smart Bee

Last week, or maybe earlier, another blogger and I were both ID’d as being a bit paranoid, (self-identified, I might add) because we happen to believe at least some of the conspiracy rumors continually floating around the internet. Each of us took comfort from the above sentiment, knowing it to be 100% true, and have mutual agreement in that belief. He seems to be pretty tech-savvy, posting a lot of different types of media on his blog, so he must have similar knowledge as I of computers, and the functions of which current technology is capable. This knowledge, along with a deep understanding of human nature, is the root cause for our paranoia, and, its justification…..

“No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.” — Aristotle

The little laptop computer upon which I type to create these Pearls of Virtual Wisdom is an amazing machine, and fairly representative of what is available to the public these days. It has, quite simply, more computing power in it than was present in the ENTIRE WORLD when the first laptop was on the design boards, when I got my first clunky 386. What this simple fact(oid) implies is this: the government, and its supporters, the bankers, corporations, and churches, has available for their use, enough computing power to record EVERY piece of communication, of EVERY type, created each day in the ENTIRE WORLD. Along with that capability, to monitor ALL communications, it has the capability of mining that huge amount of data for significant words, phrases, and patterns that will inform them of anyone, anywhere, who is speaking in a way that is potentially against their interests.

Yep…. every single piece of published communication, via phone, internet, TV, radio, or any other form of media by which humans communicate, is vulnerable to being overheard by those in the beloved ruling class…. (addendum, 8/21/13: or, for that matter, by anyone with the technological know-how….) Allow me to assure you, the reasons for which they want this information have nothing to do with YOUR rights, or YOUR interests, nor are they going to tell you, either that they are doing it, or how often, or where, or anything about it.

In many public places, with cameras and recording devices, it is possible for them to overhear even the words we speak to each other face to face. If they wish, they can even concentrate technology on a single spot, (such as your car, your living room, or kitchen…..), and listen to every word spoken there, even if they are not within miles of the place. There is, by published report, no place left on Earth where technology cannot penetrate, to listen to what is being spoken, given the opportunity, and the time to employ the needed technology.

So, my friend and I are well aware that what we write and publish here online is perfectly available to those who care about such matters, and they WILL be listening to what EVERYONE is saying, even, or, perhaps especially, us. Since I have a tendency to rant against the very people who are listening, I doubt that my name is missing from several lists of theirs. In fact, I’d be surprised if it was missing from those lists…. if it is, they’re not paying attention…..   🙂

As I’ve said before ffolkes, be alert; the world needs all the lerts it can get. You are being watched, and listened to, whether you choose to believe it or not, so it would behoove you to, perhaps, take that into account. Please, don’t fall into that, “oh, you’re just being paranoid,” attitude, or the “well, if I don’t say anything wrong, they can’t get me,” fallacy…. One of the primary characteristics of those with the power-mongering gene is a certain irrationality that is inherent in their make-up…. They have an unfortunate tendency to act on belief and faith, not on fact, so their actions, while fairly predictable, are somewhat irrationally chosen, and don’t necessarily make any sense to those of us who use our minds for other things than reclining upon…. Remember, as Lazarus Long advises, “Always cut the cards.”…..

I have read and understood the above. 

X ______________________
_____________________________

Okay, I’m happy…. Considering how I felt when I got up, this has gone very well…. Now, if only it reads as well as it flowed out…. Hope springs eternal….

As usual, I was half-right (half-write?)…. It’s not bad, but, again, don’t bother calling the Pulitzer Committee…. It’s good enough for the standards we hold around here, certainly, so, I’ll be off to do that…. See ya….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Only the most severely impertinent will survive….

Ffolkes,

“What we have heah, is a failyuh, to cogitate…”  As I sit to write this morning, all I can see in my mind’s eye is the little bald asshole prison warden from the movie, Cool Hand Luke, standing on the levee, chewing on his toothpick, offering his asinine observation in a deep Southern drawl, and spitting. The line, of course, is supposed to be “a failyuh to communicate”, but, in this case, the other word is more accurate…. I’ve been sitting here staring at the screen now for 15 minutes, and this is the best I’ve been able to come up with…. not a good omen….

I must say, though, that I seem to be getting used to this cognitive state; there’s no sense of panic involved in the reaction now, and that is a small blessing. Of course, it doesn’t cut down the frustration to any appreciable degree, but, that’s something I’ve also become accustomed to experiencing regularly, and no longer feel such a degree of impending doom when my mind is blank…. Sadly, this is the result of the building of callouses, which, though it keeps one from the worst of the feelings we can feel in such instances, also limits perception, to some degree, and that can cause problems itself, through lack of understanding, or misunderstanding of details….

None of this is getting me any closer to finding anything to write about; that’s why I’m still circling around, babbling about the process itself, instead of immersing myself into a trance, or some other form of creative stimulus, to find at least something that will titillate, or, at minimum, enchant the few readers who come by each day…. As I’ve said previously, such blather seems to be the best way to fulfill the legal requirements, while still avoiding any real writing…. I’m uncertain, as always, as to how it is received, but, since there haven’t been any major complaints about allergic reactions, or flaming re: idiotic opening comments, I’ve stuck with it, as it works, sort of…

I’m really going to have to try to find a better way to get this section completed; this daily battle with my own head is getting to be redundant, which can often lead to boredom; if there is anything in this universe that I work to keep OUT of my life, it is boredom. To my mind, to be bored means that one is tired of what is going on in one’s own head, and that is something I will NEVER allow. I refuse to be bored, and I have to admit, it does save me a lot of angst and ill feeling…. not to mention never having to watch TV, unless I choose to do so…. Actually, it’s been so long now, I’ve probably forgotten how to program a VCR…. which I didn’t even learn until one of my kids showed me how….

Okay, I’ve managed to complete the legally required number of paragraphs, and can’t think of anything more mundane, or more interesting, to keep this going any longer; it’s already gone on too long, from an ethical standpoint… It’s skating on the edge of being cruel, I know, but, we’re done now, so, it won’t become an issue today…. Maybe tomorrow we’ll let it go completely over the line, and spend the morning explaining the explosions to the local authorities…. I love playing with the heads of public officials…. One never gets bored when fucking with the man….

Shall we Pearl?

Thales said there was no difference between life and death. “Why, then,” said some one to him, “do not you die?” “Because,” said he, “it does make no difference.” — Diogenes Laertius (c. 200 AD) — Thales, ix
_____________________________

Not only did my mind stay blank this morning, causing the above intro to go into mundane mode, but, I got up late, having had a hard time getting to sleep last night, and making up the lost time on this end…. As a result, I’m going to cheat a bit, and fill in this section with a pearl from 2012… I don’t feel too bad, because it’s a pretty good one….

“The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human  mind to correlate all its contents.   We live on a placid island of ignorance  in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should  voyage far.  The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little;  but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.” — H.P. Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu

Sometimes, I think we have already arrived at this point in time….. but, if not, then we are not far away…… With this firmly in mind, please find the following, all of which lead one gently to an idea that may, or may not, make you feel better. Which, of course, is NOT the purpose…. nonetheless, the conclusion framed by these quotes is one you NEED to know……

“It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have  been searching for evidence which could support this.” — Bertrand Russell

“Where ignorance is our master, there is no possibility of real peace.” — Dalai Lama

As a man can drink water from any side of a full tank, so the skilled theologian (politician’s too!) can wrest from any scripture that which will serve his purpose. — Bhagavad Gita

“Discourse on virtue and they pass by in droves. Whistle and dance the shimmy, and you’ve got an audience.” — Diogenes

“Anyone who isn’t confused doesn’t really know what’s going on.” — Edward R. Murrow

“The only real failure in life is the failure to try.” — Smart Bee
_____________________________

Here is the second of the three poems I found day before yesterday; if it isn’t clear, it is a reaction to the election process that took place in 2012….I hope you enjoy it…..

Destiny’s Vote

It was a special day, written on tablets of stone
with fanfare, and crepe paper, a symphony of lies,
played with verve, but discordant, and alone,
never more the grand parade, no more apple pies.

Heated dialog full of prejudice, hate, and fears,
fills up the airwaves, a cacophony of callow untruth,
playing up to ignorance, bringing anguish, and fearful tears,
while Nero’s fiddler sits down, in the only open booth.

Watchful and afraid, I see the coming conflict
clouds of ignorance and intellect, preparing to fight,
one to fight with darkness, and abject fear to depict
opposed at the base, banishing fear with truth, and light.

Seeds of anger and bigotry are planted very deep,
growing best in darkness, hiding in shame and fear,
waiting for moments of trouble, its destiny to keep,
looking for weakness, seeking to draw its victim near.

Sing not yet a funeral dirge for tolerance,
that particular die is not yet cast,
there still remains a good and honest chance,
our common dream of freedom may yet hold fast….

~~ gigoid ~~

_____________________________

Having saved a shit-load of time by going to the archives for sections one and two, we’ll use a fresh pearl here in three, plucked this very morning from the virtual oyster beds I keep to cultivate these gems of virtual wisdom…. May they leave you with no unwarranted assumptions, nor supply you with any unwanted epiphany, and, most importantly, may it leave you with no open wounds…. It is, after all, about human nature….

“Either CONFESS now or we go to “PEOPLE’S COURT”!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

“Live with wolves, and you learn to howl.” — Spanish Proverb

“Fortunate indeed, is the man who takes exactly the right measure of himself, and holds a just balance between what he can acquire and what he can use.”– Peter Mere Latham

“”In God We Trust.” I don’t believe it would sound any better if it were true.” — Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)

“The man of superior virtue is not conscious of his virtue, and in this way he really possesses virtue. The man of inferior virtue never loses sight of his virtue, and in this way he loses his virtue.” — Lao-Tzu (fl. B.C. 600)

Now, that’s just about a perfect pearl…. but, not quite there, I think…. two more ought to do it…. remember to consider all seven of them together, and completely ignore this little blurb in the middle….

HUMAN NATURE

Once I shot a bird,
When I was very young.
I watched it fall, and die.
And I thought that it was fun.

— W.C. Mackie

“As great scientists have said and as all children know, it is above all by the imagination that we achieve perception, and compassion, and hope.” — Ursula K. LeGuin
_____________________________

EMERGENCY INFORMATION: How to breathe. 1. Inhale. 2. Exhale…..
(Provided at no charge for your convenience….)

Well, that was fun…. sort of. It was real, anyway, and got the day started with surprising aplomb… Damn, what IS that noise?… Hold on… For three days now, in the mornings, a small beep, three at a time, has been sounding off, very quietly, somewhere in my apartment (a studio), and I can’t locate it to see what little electronic device it is… Before I find it, it stops, after about four or five sets of three beeps….. Maddening…

And, totally off track, sorry…. Let’s see what happened here…. Okay, so instinct must have kicked in to salvage the process, because it ain’t bad, given its total lack of any redeeming features outside its obviously good intentions…. Yes, yes, I know where that can lead us, but, I’m counting on the consensual philosophical stability that I trust my gentle readers to possess to turn us from that path….. Besides, it’s all an illusion, right? One must always hold out hope for the best….. Or, so I’m told….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

There are shades of culpability at play….

Ffolkes,

“How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterward.” — Spanish proverb

There are moments when I feel that this whole process of creating the Daily Pearls of Virtual Wisdom is well defined by this little aphorism…. This isn’t to say that I consider what I’ve done to be ‘nothing’, but, the end result is the same, is it not? Whether what I write is brilliant and compelling, or just plain silly (that seems to cover the gamut of material I see here….  Joke….), nothing in the realm of reality is changed, for better or for worse…. Nothing I can see, that is, other than in the minds of a few die-hards who show up regularly, and, apparently, like what I’ve written, but, I don’t know exactly what they think, other than they keep showing up (for which I am eternally grateful….)…. I’m glad that what I write appeals to someone out there, even though that isn’t the expressed, or actual, purpose behind my literary efforts….

Saving my sanity was the original purpose, but, it has grown beyond that initial motivation, to include more elements of egotism; it would be foolish to deny that it requires a certain amount of ego to continue to post the kind of material I do. But, that has never been an issue for me, as my ego is plenty strong, and plenty big enough to not give a rat’s beauteous butt if people disagree with my opinions; as well, I’m always willing to enter into dialogue over my thoughts, and give folks a chance to shoot down my logic and/or reasoning, and to consider other, new information in relation to the subject at hand. My ego is even strong enough to admit it when I’m wrong, if the proof thereof is compelling and clear….

I think what has happened is that writing has become necessary for me to feel complete; when I don’t get a Pearl done in good time, I find myself experiencing a sense of diffuse anxiety, that nibbles at the edge of my consciousness, keeping me on edge, until I get it done, or make a final decision to abort for the day (that usually only happens when technical issues are present….). Once it is done, though, I feel like the above proverb, rested, and ready to face the day’s tasks with a clear head. In retrospect, looking at what I’ve just come to realize, it is a routine, a set of habitual behaviors, that I have developed, one that is very closely entwined with my persona in such a way as to affect all the other stuff I do and feel…..

In other words, I’m addicted to this, and HAVE to make a Pearl each morning, or I start exhibiting, and feeling, symptoms of withdrawal, complete with dyskinesia, unspecified malaise, and inability to concentrate. Between this process, and coffee, I am a slave to my inner needs, just like the rest of humanity, I would guess…. I just talk about it more, and admit that I’m an addict more readily…. Or, maybe, that’s just ego talking, and all of this is just another exercise in futility, disguised as an intelligent opening section of today’s Pearl…. Since the evidence is weighty in both directions, I think we get to choose, so I pick the futility…..

In other words, I’ve done nothing, once again, and now I’ll go rest….. Shall we Pearl?…..
_____________________________

“There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they can’t tell the truth without lying.” — Josh Billings

In the past few weeks, I’ve mentioned how the BRC (Beloved Ruling Class) has a nasty habit of lying to the public. When I do this, I am deliberately singling them out, in spite of the simple fact that this behavior, lying, is one that all of us, to some degree, are subject to displaying, in scientific terms, alla damn time! (That’s an Italian measurement, “alla damn”, taken from the Latin “compos mentos” — “he is insane”…..)  It’s true, we all lie (and if that isn’t a strange and beautiful sentence, I am hallucinating again…. not….)  Let me say it again, just so you get it…. It’s true, we all lie…..

Of course, those of us with an evolved sense of integrity and/or honor try to confine our lies to what we tell ourselves, to maintain our illusions about our own worth, and our own ability to cope… without which all of us are much less capable…. (Hmm… what does THAT say about our nature? Not sure I want to know….). But, in reality, many people don’t limit their lies to themselves, but use them freely to attain their own ends. I’m not sure how they rationalize this behavior to themselves, or if they even bother, but, it is clear that they do lie, and they do it without any compunction, or reservations about its relative morality….

Any who, I didn’t intend to rant here, so much as provide an explanation for the following pearl… It isn’t comprised of quotes that will inspire or stimulate cogitation, but, actual headlines, once again ripped from the real news, as listed on SFGATE, an outlet of the SF Chronicle, which used to be just a newspaper…. If you look at each of these, you will note a theme in them that otherwise may have been missed…. Look at each with this in mind; in this situation as described, how many lies have been told? Lies to protect a reputation, or prevent a lawsuit. Lies to the public. Lies about the public. Lies from the administration. Lies from corporate spokes bots, and from union fat cats. Lies from criminals taking advantage of the ignorant. Lies about sex, lies about money…. It’s all there, in seven little headlines, a simple part of our Reality, ffolkes…

SF Fire Chief bans helmet cams in wake of crash

Britain detains partner of reporter tied to NSA leaks

Scammers prey on confusion about health care overhaul

AC Transit union rejects contract offer

San Diego mayor set to return amid recall drive

BART managers, like unions, among best compensated

Markets drift as investors await Fed details

Ain’t Life © (copyright pending) grand?! Makes you want to just go out and start a petition, or something, eh?…. Yeah, I know, me, too….
_____________________________

Last night, during a tangential search for something or other, I went through some old Pearls from the site archives, and stepped in a large pile of serendipity, which I didn’t mind getting all over my shoes, at all…. I found three poems that I wrote last August, that I had completely forgotten about, all three of which are pretty damn good, if I do say so…. It was very strange, actually, as I must have literally opened a vein to create these; my conscious mind has no recollection whatsoever of any of them, or of writing them…. But, there they were, big as life, and obviously mine, staring me in the face… So, I saved them, and will submit them for your perusal over the next few days…. Some of y’all may remember them, as I saw some of the regular site-goers had been there…. Here is the first…

Dreaming, I wait….

In the most patient moments of rationality
kindness flows smoothly in a special milieu,
fallow thoughts speed first from equality
to give no anxious fever, anger to eschew.

Indignant mothers and step-sons in-law
shall fade simply from brilliant to grey,
intoning ritual dogma, fresh, avid, and raw,
falling, falling, in massive pastoral disarray.

Safety lives not, save brightly in ignorant bliss,
it follows us all, silent and infinitely frail,
foremost too often, soft as a virgin kiss,
alive, always eager, willing, and pale.

Intimate knowledge finds only the bold few
with courage and virtue to gift, unbidden.
No solemn royal version may pass in review,
true love for man, never to remain unhidden.

Sweet feathers of Emily’s hope uplift,
calm, drowsy episodes bursting with light,
With final glad cries we set ourselves adrift,
swimming in the oceans of natural delight.

When sorrow is banished, in ages yet to come,
roots solidly anchored, cold and remote,
Ample supplies of kindness sit silent and dumb,
and the old stranger shrugs on his faded coat.

Dreaming, then, I wait with shadows in the night
aspiring to inspire, a message from the muse’s heart
Never forgotten images, framed in color bright,
tempt me only, grieving, steeped in serenity’s arcane art….

~~ gigoid ~~

_____________________________

Like it or not, I have to hurry now, to get this done…. I’ve a lot to do this week, in preparation for another move…. packing boxes, changing addresses with banks and agencies, renewing passport with new information, etc., just piddly stuff that all needs done so I can stop thinking about it. Hence, the following old-school, random harlequin pearl, subject as yet unknown…. Let’s see what SB can do for me on such short notice….

Here the heart
May give a useful lesson to the head,
And Learning wiser grow without his books.

— William Cowper (1731-1800) — The Task, Book vi, Winter Walk at Noon, Line 85

“Every body continues in its state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line, except insofar as it doesn’t.” — Sir Arthur Eddington

“Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, mankind should be thinking about getting more use out of the weapons we already have.” — Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey

ASS, n.  A public singer with a good voice but no ear.  In Virginia City, Nevada, he is called the Washoe Canary, in Dakota, the Senator, and everywhere the Donkey.  The animal is widely and variously celebrated in the literature, art and religion of every age and country; no other so engages and fires the human imagination as this noble vertebrate.  Indeed, it is doubted by some (Ramasilus, _lib. II., De Clem._, and C. Stantatus, _De Temperamente_) if it is not a god; and as such we know it was worshiped by the Etruscans, and, if we may believe Macrobious, by the Cupasians also.  Of the only two animals admitted into the Mahometan Paradise along with the souls of men, the ass that carried Balaam is one, the dog of the Seven Sleepers the other.  This is no small distinction.  From what has been written about this beast might be compiled a library of great splendor and magnitude, rivalling that of the Shakespearean cult, and that which clusters about the Bible.  It may be said, generally, that all literature is more or less Asinine.

“Hail, holy Ass!” the quiring angels sing;
“Priest of Unreason, and of Discords King!”
Great co-Creator, let Thy glory shine:
God made all else, the Mule, the Mule is thine!”
G.J.
— Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

“Take naps and stretch before rising.” — Things We Can Learn From Dogs

Sorry, can’t blame this one on me; it was all Smart Bee…. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it….
_____________________________

I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart’s core.

— William Butler Yeats, “The Lake Isle of Innisfree”

I’m in a weird mood today; let’s hope it doesn’t translate into the real world in a way that I will come to regret….. Ah well, I’ve been weird before, and shall be again, so… that should do it for one day….. Like it or not, I guess I’m done, save the shouting, and the lawsuits….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

We were hoping for more of a gestalt version….

Ffolkes,

“…. crawfish pie, filet gumbo…”  Can’t say why, but that song is stuck in my head this morning…. “…. gonna have big fun, on the bayou.” I must have been dreaming in Acadian, or something….. There’s a word, a good word, Acadian, another word lifted from another language by English, used to describe the group of folks who settled in Louisiana in the early 1800’s.  Their culture, brought with them from France, melded into the mix of English,
Spanish, Indian, and African cultures that already flourished in the New Orleans area, producing what we now call Cajun food, music, and culture. (“Cajun” is a bastardization of the way the word “Acadian” comes through into English…. When pronounced correctly, it sounds like ‘a cajiun”, which, on the naturally lazy tongues of the new worlders, became “cajun”…..)

Now that the trivia portion of today’s post is finished, I’m left again in the lurch, with no intro planned. I could play my guitar for a while, and maybe sing y’all a song, but, I don’t really want to scare anyone away so early. Not that I’m terrible, it’s just that, so early in the day, my musical taste is a bit suspect; I’ve been known to listen to Mendelssohn, or Bach, for hours on end, and I don’t think y’all are ready to go back to sleep just yet, are you? I thought not…. Besides, I don’t do opera….

That does leave me adrift again, though…. Hmm…. now where shall I go to hide the fact that I am a poseur? That I am incapable of true creation, and all of my ambition to be a writer is a fool’s errand. I spend a lot of effort to keep it from becoming commonly known, but, days like today make it hard to keep it under my hat. If only I was ruthless, or politically minded, or had no shame at lying to people; then I could run for a public office, and make my living from the public trough. Unfortunately, I have lots of ruth,  no political ambition, and often break into hives when I lie, so, being a politician is out of the question….

If there was a way to start all this over again, without having to toss out what is already done, well, that would be good, and would save me a lot of headache…. No such luck exists, however, so, I’m stuck with this, and haven’t a clue as to what to do to salvage what’s left, of what started out as a perfectly good intro… one that turned so swiftly to crap, I almost didn’t see it happen….. I suppose I could recycle it; we are encouraged to re-use old stuff, but, I don’t think this will stand up to a second use. It’s liable to turn rogue on us, and injure someone in its death throes…. No, recycling old intros is a pastime rife with danger, and we’ll have none of it here….

Oh well, I’m going to have to once again resort to the whimsical methods I’ve used so effectively in the past, to amaze, to entertain, to educate, and, ultimately, to confuse the reading public, or, at the very least, those of that group who stumble into this blog, and can’t find their way out…. In other words, voi-fucking-la!  It’s an intro….

It would be quite insane, on the whole, to expect anyone to believe me if I claimed it’s a good one, in its own little way, but, it’s legal, it’s typo-free, and, it’s done, so there isn’t a damn thing to do but let it go out the way it is, and hope for the best….. In this case, I think that if we can get through the day without any further bloodshed, it will be alright…. If not, well, there’s always tomorrow, right?….

Shall we Pearl?…..

— Bother! said Pooh, as the pin fell out of the grenade.
_____________________________

So, I was sitting here, trying to decide what to do…. rant, pearl, or fake it? Any of the above would be acceptable and appropriate, but, I’m not feeling any of those particularly strongly this morning, so I’m going to cheat…. I was cruising through some old Pearls yesterday, and found some that I enjoyed (God, I hope so!….) Any who, I thought this one was kind of fun, and pretty coherent, on the whole…. Since I’m lazy, and in charge, I’m including it here today, just because I can…. This is from August of 2011, if it matters…..

Ffolkes,
Another day dawns, dammit!  Not really, but that was the first line that ran through my head this morning, so….better out than in, I say…Thus begins another fine day in paradise.

All of us have our secret fears; those little demons from our dreams that escape out into the real world and assault us at those moments we least expect it. How do we deal with it? Me, I’m a champion at denial; I can ignore most problems until they pretty much either give up or solve themselves. The few that aren’t subject to this method do tend to slap me around pretty well, but for the most part, I go along with King Ralph I, who said, “Well, the first thing we should do is order new globes.There’s no problem so big it can’t be ignored if we put our minds to it.”

While ordering new globes won’t help my current batch of woes, a dedicated state of ignorance duly cultivated while asleep can be of great use. In that state, even the news of the day can’t break through to that part of me that will worry over it. I’ve finally figured out that the rest of mankind is on their own; I’m retired, and no longer care about such mundane matters…..so be it…..

“But pain…seems to me an insufficient reason not to embrace life. Being dead is quite painless. Pain, like time, is going to come on regardless. Question is, what glorious moments can you win from life in addition to the pain?” — Lois McMaster Bujold, Barrayar

You may be a king
Or a little street sweeper,
But sooner or later
You’ll dance with the reaper.
— Reaper Rap (Grim Reaper, “Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey”)

“A wise man first determines what is within his control; all else is then irrelevant.” — Epictetus

“Life is pleasant.  Death is peaceful.  It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” — Isaac Asimov

“Life is a tragedy to those who feel, and a comedy for those who think.” — Jean de la Bruyere

So there you have it…..carefully applied, you too can take comfort in the ready arms of practiced denial….and it only hurts yourself!!! How many things in life can you say that about?…..  Y’all take care out there…..meanwhile, I’m going to try to get my tongue out of my cheek, where it has been firmly lodged for some time now……
_____________________________

“I’d rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance.” — ee cummings

The Dragon of Grindly Grun

I’m the Dragon of Grindly Grun,
I breathe fire as hot as the sun.
When a knight comes to fight
I just toast him on sight,
Like a hot crispy cinnamon bun.

When I see a fair damsel go by,
I just sigh a fiery sigh,
And she’d baked like a ‘tater-
I think of her later
With a romantic tear in my eye.

I’m the Dragon of Grindly Grun,
But my lunches aren’t very much fun,
For I like my damsels medium rare,
and they always come out well done.

~~ Shel Silverstein ~~

_____________________________

Below is another Pearl from the archives, from 2011… It would take at least two paragraphs and several hundred words to tell you the reasons why it is included here today, words I don’t intend to write…. Suffice it to say more than one compelling reason presented itself, so, here it is, for what it is worth…. It’s a pretty good one, all things considered, and could be considered as a bonus, were you so inclined….

Ffolkes,
I think it’s safe to say we all get pretty tired of the political circus as played out here in the USA; it all seems so pointless, until you realize it is directly affecting your own life, then it just gets irritating. Everyone I know has beliefs and convictions, with their own methods of dealing with the world, and their own methods of how to treat other people. Mostly they all get along just fine. Then I look at what is being said in the arena of public discourse, and there doesn’t seem to be any correlation, no connection with what I know is real for most folks.

The avaricious ones, the ones who seek public office, have an entirely different view of reality than most of the Americans I know. Even the conservatives I talk to think differently than the politicians, except for those few who allow the politicians to do their thinking for them, and merely parrot those talking points currently in fashion. It’s unfortunate that there are a LOT of the last category, which is part of the reason why the talking heads are able to maintain their death-grip on the almighty profit margin.

Since the whole point of the above is how sick I am of hearing the nonsense in the news, I won’t rant any further today on that subject. Don’t really feel like ranting anyway; it’s already been a tough morning, and I’d rather turn in a more positive direction. It took over 25 minutes on the phone, but I was able to complete a necessary task this A.M., and I’m using that to act as the driver for the rest of today’s tasks. All of this is just a long, convoluted and obfuscatory way to say, enjoy!……

“Confront them with annihilation, and they will survive; plunge them in a deadly situation, and they will then live. When people fall into danger, they are then able to strive for victory.” — Sun Tzu

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance,
I have not winced nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeoning of chance;
My head is bloody but unbowed.
It matters not how straight the gate,
How charged with punishment the scroll;
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

— Henley

I know you think that you understood what you thought I said, but I am not  all that sure that you understand that I seldom say what I think and even less often do I mean what I say.

Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Louis Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.

If you think women are moody and bossy – get a cat.

Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world’s more full of weeping than you can understand.
— William Butler Yeats, “The Stolen Child”

There you go; a little whimsy is good for the soul…..so is epiphany. Y’all take care out there…..
_____________________________

As a practicing curmudgeon, and a critically acclaimed bozoid, it behooves me to say, at this point, just how proud I am to have been nominated for this award…. Oh, sorry, wrong file…. Okay, here we are…. Well, that was interesting…. Some rather esoteric remnants of sanity being bandied about here, eh? If one didn’t know better, one might think that I had gone around the bend, so far I’ll never find the way back…. but, then, illusion is what it’s all about, now, isn’t it?….

I’m somewhat relieved to find myself here in the closing section of today’s Pearl…. The lines and defining characteristics of reality are starting to become rather blurred and indistinct, due, I’m sure, to the volatile nature of what has been written here today…. We wouldn’t want to get charged for any undue wear and tear on either space, or time, so we’ll call it a day, before it gets any worse…. (Of course, as you can see, it’s already gone off the rails….). Let’s see how it reads….

Well, ffolkes, it’s a Pearl, and there is NO doubt at all about that….. As such, I’m going to take the money and run, before I lose the courage it takes to hit the “Publish” button…. Ta ta, then….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Pilfered hearts, buried in parody….

Ffolkes,

It’s tempting…. the urge to just give it up is getting strong, and the reasons to do so are growing more compelling each day. As I sit to write today, I’m struck by how conflicted I am inside, where one part of me wants to fulfill the routine I’ve established over the last two years, and another part wants me to just go back to bed. For those two years, the latter part of me has been meek, unable to have its way very often, if at all, over the big, blustering, powerful urge to spill my guts….. Of late, though, it has gained strength, and weight, and is now able to bring a sense of controversy to these morning battles with myself…..

Obviously, the part of me that is still dreaming in bed has lost again, as the words keep flowing on screen; I guess the meek aren’t inheriting the earth quite yet…. It does, however, create yet another conundrum for me to solve, to wit: what the hell will I do today for an intro section? I’ve used up just about every style there is, or, at least, all I can think of, and none of them have been workable as an every day kind of opening, that would stand up to the test of time. The closest I’ve come is these wandering, blathering personal commentaries, four or five paragraphs discussing the workings of my head, which, though they may be interesting at times, probably get a bit trying to the patience to read often….

I’ve tried fictional openings…. I’ve tried ranting, I’ve tried pearls. I’ve tried to be logical, and I’ve dipped deeply into the well of nonsense to draw up some humor, such as it is. I’ve even used the Keystone Kops method, and, in times of extreme emergency, made things up. Hell, I’ve even considered the use of high explosives, but, I couldn’t get the permits…. Oh well…. I did have high hopes for that one, but, city hall gets nervous at private citizens asking for permission to blow stuff up….

Oh well, by this time, I should know better than to get all worked up about it….. The struggle to decide on what to write about every day will continue, as long as I keep flogging myself to write…. It’s looking like that isn’t going to cease any time in the near future, so, I’ll have to learn to live with a daily battle in my head, at least until I learn how to live with it, and accept it as reality….. That is one answer, in truth….I could be all Zen, and call this process a koan, a learning experience, and realize that it is acceptable just the way it is…. Life is struggle, and cannot be lived without pain. Learning to accept the pain is what eventually causes one to be able to live in harmony, and the pain, along with the struggle, will pass into memory….

Yeah, that’s the ticket…. Zen rules!….. Well, it helps, anyway…. Ah well, it’s happened again, so we’ll take the five paragraphs of relative crap, and go on to the next steps in this dance macabre….

Shall we Pearl?…..

“Work is not an end in itself; there must always be time enough for love.” — Robert Heinlein
_____________________________

“I put aside my copy of “BOWLING WORLD” and think about GUN CONTROL legislation..” — Zippy the Pinhead

You know, the most amazing thing, to me, about this whole issue with the spying on our telephone and computer data by the government? It is the absolute genuine surprise on the part of the administration at how upset everyone (i.e. the public, or, more simply, “us”…) is over this issue. It’s as if they can’t believe that people are actually upset that the government is collecting all of our phone conversations, and all of our email correspondence, in order to, according to them, “defeat terrorism”.

They, in their absolute confidence in their own rightness, are having a hard time with the fact that NONE of the rest of the populace, at least, none of those outside of the government itself, agrees with them….. For some unknown reason (well, you know it, and I know it, but, they don’t….), they think they can do whatever they want in the pursuit of their imaginary demons, and we’re all supposed to fall right in line with that…. In truth, it makes me feel a little better about things when I think about the reaction by the public; I had almost given up on them ever caring at all what the BRC did to them….

I’m not going to rant again today about this; it’s all over the news, and many people are presenting some well-thought-out, and well-researched and -written articles on the subject, probably much better than I could do. I like to think I’d be funnier, but, that isn’t necessarily of importance to such pieces, so, for now, I’m leaving it to them to distribute the information people need to be clear on the issue. Clarity is necessary, because this is one of the best opportunities we, as the public, have had in some time to bring light to bear on the clandestine activities being perpetrated on us by our supposed leaders….. I think it is important NOT to let them off the hook on this, and bring all the pressure we can to make reforms, at least in this one area….

Rather than rant, though, I will put together another pearl on this subject, because I believe that the more we hold the BRC up for examination, whether that regard is focused on humor, their (absent) virtue, their chicanery, or just their displays of idiocy, it’s a good thing to keep to keep the light focused on them as long as possible. If we don’t hold our leaders, such as they are, up for our criticism of their acts against us, then, who will? They certainly aren’t going to be pulling their own covers, or showing off their latest theft from us; it’s in their best interests to keep as much of that away from our attention as they are able to do. So, I’ll keep on making fun of them, just as long as they keep lying to us….

Therefore, here is another seven-star pearl, with the clear intent of either making fun of, or bringing unwanted exposure to, our Beloved Ruling Class, and all of their myrmidons…. (a great word, go ahead, look it up….) (No, I’m serious, you need to look it up, or the first quote won’t make any sense to you….) (Of course, none of it MAY make any sense, but, I do what I can, and no more….) (Ah, the hell with it, it means, essentially, “faceless minions in vast numbers, set to do their bidding”….)

The Bible is true this I know,
For the Bible tells me so.

— Jordan Henderson

“Do not needlessly endanger your lives until I give you the signal.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
(One of the first recorded instances of a President using computer programming techniques on the public….)

“An election year is the time politicians want to help us out of all the trouble they got us into in the first place.” — Smart Bee

“Disco oil bussing will create a throbbing Naugahyde pipeline running straight to the tropics from the rug producing regions and devalue the dollar!” — Zippy the Pinhead

“Muddy water let stand becomes clear.” — Lao Tse

“Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper.” — Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)

“If life is merely a joke, the question still remains: For whose amusement?” — Smart Bee

Well, there you have it…. I can’t make it any clearer than that….. Well, perhaps I can…. we’ll try later…..
_____________________________

I only have one thing to say about this morning’s choice of poems…. Take note, for you are reading the work of a genius…..

Reflection On A Wicked World

Purity
Is obscurity.

~~ Ogden Nash ~~

So Does Everybody Else, Only Not So Much

O all ye exorcizers come and exorcize now, and ye clergymen draw nigh and clerge, For I wish to be purged of an urge. It is an irksome urge, compounded of nettles and glue, And it is turning all my friends back into acquaintances, and all my acquaintances into people who look the other way when I heave into view. It is an indication that my mental buttery is butterless and my mental larder lardless, And it consists not of “Stop me if you’ve heard this one,” but of “I know you’ve heard this one because I told it to you myself, but I’m going to tell it to you again regardless,” Yes I fear I am living beyond my mental means. When I realize that it is not only anecdotes that I reiterate but what is far worse, summaries of radio programs and descriptions of cartoons in newspapers and magazines. I want to resist but I cannot resist recounting the bright sayings of celebrities that everybody already is familiar with every word of; I want to refrain but cannot refrain from telling the same audience on two successive evenings the same little snatches of domestic gossip about people I used to know that they have never heard of. When I remember some titillating episode of my childhood I figure that if it’s worth narrating once it’s worth narrating twice, in spite of lackluster eyes and dropping jaws, And indeed I have now worked my way backward from titillating episodes in my own childhood to titillating episodes in the childhood of my parents or even my parents-in-laws, And what really turns my corpuscles to ice, I carry around clippings and read them to people twice. And I know what I am doing while I am doing it and I don’t want to do it but I can’t help doing it and I am just another Ancient Mariner, And the prospects for my future social life couldn’t possibly be barrener. Did I tell you that the prospects for my future social life couldn’t be barrener?

~~ Ogden Nash ~~

_____________________________

As often is the case at this point, I have no rantable material available for this section…. Oh, subject matter isn’t an issue, only the degree of angst available to drive it to the proper pitch. Anything less than shrill just doesn’t get anyone’s attention, or release enough of the angst for duty elsewhere…. Such is life, as we say in the blog world (like that is an actual place, with inhabitants, and all that implies….).  What this means in terms of reality is another pearl of a random nature…. I’ll see what Smart Bee starts off with; that will provide me with a search parameter. Then, when I’ve got an idea in mind, I’ll do a fast cruise through the dB, and pick out the best pearls to make the point….

All this doesn’t generally take very long, but, this morning, it could take a while, as I’ve already put SB through some heavy paces…. We’ll see how it’s holding up…. You may use the first quote you see as the certificate of entitlement for the remainder of the pearl….

“What about reality, you ask?  Well, as far as I’m concerned, reality can go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.” — Stephen King
(This is possibly the best single pearl I have ever encountered!…)

“How often I found where I should be going only by setting out for somewhere else.” — R. Buckminster Fuller
(Okay, that’s a good one, too….)

“How pleasant then to be insane.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald
(Ooh, ooh! Me, too!….)

“Are we at last brought to such a humiliating and debasing degradation, that we cannot be trusted with arms for our own defense? Where is the difference between having our arms in our own possession and under our own direction, and having them under the management of Congress? If our defense be the _real_ object of having those arms, in whose hands can they be trusted with more propriety, or equal safety to us, as in our own hands?”
— Patrick Henry
(Whoops…. a bit of direction change there, eh?…. Let’s see where it takes us….

“Silence gives consent.” — Smart Bee, channeling the sages of all ages…
(Yep, that’s a good one, as well… nice job, SB… That’s five, let’s find two more, to finish strong….)

“Government [is] an illusion the governed should not encourage.” — John Updike, Couples
(Hmm….)

“Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most Souls would scarcely get your Feet wet.  Fall not in Love, therefore: it will stick to your face.” — National Lampoon, “Deteriorata”
(Oh no! What happened? You did that deliberately, didn’t you… Well, no way, Bubba… try again… Two, and both have to be good…)

“Don’t SAY things. What you ARE stands over you the while, and thunders so that I cannot hear what you say to the contrary.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson — Social Aims

“I have been a stranger in a strange land.” — Old Testament — Exodus ii, 22

Okay, that will do…. It’s not perfect, but, it’s relatively inoffensive while still being obscurely disturbing…  It had better do. I’m out of quotes…. Smart Bee went on strike after this last one, so, we’re done here; you can thank me later….
_____________________________

Or, you can thank me now, as it is now completely done, and your suffering is at an end. So is mine, for today… Well, I do have to go read it again, to at least make a try to find the typos that are always there, so, I may as well get that done, too….

Whew! Well, I can see now, I’ll be handing out the E tickets at the beginning of today’s ride, as it takes off through the numberless corridors and infinitude of dead-end tunnels of my mind…. Come to think of it, I should probably check to make sure my insurance is paid up, and that all the safety equipment is in place, before I post…. Oh well, I can’t be responsible for those who don’t trouble to stick their own clouds of preconceived notions in their pocket before coming on board…. They’ll have to take their chances along with the rest of us….

That all being said, I think it came out pretty well, if a bit flagrantly scattered. Hmm, nice…. “Flagrantly scattered” might just be a new iconic phrase to describe this blog; don’t be surprised to see it again somewhere…. Sorry, distracted again; it’s happening a lot today…. Any who, I guess, since this is the closing section, I should bring this to a close, so, I will…. TTFN….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…. Oh, and, Blessed Be…. (No, I’m not Wiccan, but, I like the thought…. it fits in with my concept of “good vibrations”….)(Plus, it will, from this day on, always be there, at the end of every post, as a tribute to, and to specifically direct it to, my friend Carole, to add to her good vibrations, in her fight against the big C….)

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3