Ffolkes,
In ringing dulcet tones, a fanfare sounds above the muted roar of the crowd, heralding the entrance of a stunning couple, tall and golden….. The room sighs in admiration as they saunter with ineffable elegance through the massive ballroom’s doors. Hand in hand, they cross to their host, offering their obeisance; though we are in Hollywood, royalty is royalty, and jealous of its privilege.
As I watched the swirling dancers and milling celebrities, rubbing shoulders in a good cause, all I could think about was the woman I’d seen on my way to the door, rummaging in the garbage in the back of the mansion in which we all stood….. I wondered what any of these elegantly dressed swells would say about their good cause, if they knew the woman had once lived here….
Hmm…. well, it’s not Faulkner, by any means, but, it got me here, to this paragraph, so I can count it a success, as that was its only task…. I hadn’t tried my hand at a fictional opening for some time, and figured, what the hell, it’s only 3:30 AM, & I’ve got plenty of time…. It’s not the best I’ve ever done, though it has its points of merit; I’ll let it fly, & not expect much from it…. That way, when it bombs, I can say I knew it all the time…. Hey, it’s a small victory, but, a man’s gotta take what he can get at this time of the day….
Why am I up again at 3 AM? Well, honey, I’ve given up trying to figure it out…. The cat, of course, played a part, by trying to get under the covers, but, that shouldn’t have been enough to make it so I couldn’t sleep any more… Even if I DID go to bed at about 8 PM, I should have been….. Oh, wait…. that’s right….. That makes seven full hours, doesn’t it? Okay, so maybe I WAS done sleeping, and was right to get up…. I sure wish I would tell myself this stuff earlier, before I go making a fool of myself…. Bozoid tendencies or no, it’s too damn early to be making that sort of mistake in my own story…. One could get the impression I’m not altogether “with it”, don’t y’know?…
In spite of all evidence to the contrary, I DO know whereof I am existent, though that perception can change in a heart beat; I’ve always been subject to unpredictable moments of perceptual convulsion, wherein the Universe seems to expand rapidly, then shrink…. Oh, wait, the Universe IS expanding and shrinking…. what was I thinking? Okay, now I’m pissed…. Who got me started on this? I want them in my office, NOW!…. I could have been seriously injured by the explosion!….
Sorry about all that, ffolkes…. It can be hard getting good help these days, even if I do pay more than minimum wage. Of course, in the process of bringing all the above into some sort of proper perspective, you may find yourself a bit confused, but, no worries, that’s to be expected on mornings such as this…. The emergency clinic has been mad aware of the potentially dangerous situation, and will be standing by to treat any possible further episodes of convulsive reasoning, which can be not only debilitating, but serves as a delicious and healthful snack….
What? You wanted sober reasoning…. Sorry, ffolkes, all I’ve got today is the convulsive sort. You’ll have to make do, as I’m already showing you how it needs to be done, in order to fulfill all the legal requirements. Not that we worry much about that; we’ve avoided getting any citations for years, ever since the last time when we had that little accident…. The poor deputy they sent is still receiving treatment for his psychosis….. Honest, we didn’t mean to let out the choir while he was in the foyer trying to decipher the warrant; they just started in on him, & after ten minutes of holistic hosannas, he was never the same….
Okay…. I think I’m done for the moment…. All morning, since sitting down to stare at the blank screen, snuffling and aching until the morning doses of caffeine & cannabis had a chance to take effect, I’ve been in a strange mood, even for me…. It’s hard to pinpoint a reason, as we humans are complex creatures, and our motivation for anything we do can be pretty obscure, even to ourselves….. which may be an unconscious indicator pointing to the whole problem we humans have in getting by in the world without causing so much damage, to the world, and to each other…. Ah well, I don’t think I’ve got anywhere NEAR enough drugs in me to start on THAT subject…. Instead, we’ll do this……..
Shall we Pearl?…..
“Costing not less than everything.” — T.S. Eliot
“Everybody gets free BORSCHT!” — Zippy the Pinhead
Hmm, again…. It seems I’m even odder than usual today, because I could NOT decide which of these was more appropriate to put here…. which is why you see both…. Be warned, ffolkes…. it might get a little strange today….
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Maybe, if I include something from an old Pearl, things might have a chance to settle, and we’ll be better able to see what we’re about…. We can hope, anyway…. here is a religirant from last year’s files…. Enjoy!…. I did….
From 5/28/2013:
What do you think? Is it time for a rant, perhaps, a religirant? I think so…. They haven’t done anything particularly stupid in public of late; some of the fundamentalists must have broken down and started listening to their lawyers. They’ve been careful lately about saying stuff that not only infuriates the rest of the country, but are probably legally actionable as slander. But, they’ll still ask you to send money, so they can afford to carry on God’s work…..
“They say give your money to God, but they give you THEIR address.” — Smart Bee
On my recent trip to Texas, I went by a church by the highway, and did a complete and classic double-take when the name on the sign registered. I don’t know if it is the one that keeps getting itself in the news, but it said it was the Westboro Baptist Church, home of the world’s most clueless, hateful, and ignorant preacher. Well, the sign didn’t say the last part, that was mine, but it’s still true, if it IS the church that has, for the last three or four years, made itself infamous, and the target of every other Christian in the US, for dragging the good name of Christians in general through some pretty dark mud, and flinging the rest of the mud on everyone it can see…..
These folks, and the idiot who leads them into their idiocy, are perhaps the stupidest people on the planet, if a willingness to display that stupidity, time after time, on national TV, is any indication, all in spite of the constant and strident statements from the entire rest of the world that they are not just wrong, but stupidly wrong, in each and every one of their stated objectives. Wrong, that is, according to every other interpretation of the Bible’s words by every Christian scholar in the world, except themselves.
These ignoramae refuse to even look at what they are doing, and have absolutely no clue of how completely ridiculous they appear to everyone else in the world. In a way, it is really sad, or would be, but for their vicious vindictiveness, and the vulnerability of their victims, the people they label as blasphemers and devils, just for being different in some way. In their ignorant blundering around like bulls in a china shop, they hurt the feelings of people who are already suffering, and do so deliberately…. Not just stupid, these assholes, but cruelly so….
“Some men become proud and insolent because they ride a fine horse, wear a feather in their hat or are dressed in a fine suit of clothes. Who does not see the folly of this? If there be any glory in such things, the glory belongs to the horse, the bird and the tailor.” — St. Frances de Sales
This is their justification, their rationalization for their actions, which they MUST KNOW to be wrong; no one breathing could possibly be THAT stupid, so much so as to not know their own cruelty. But, like all Christians do to at least some degree, in order to maintain faith, they can rationalize anything, as long as it supports their belief in their own rightness…. This is a necessary attribute for anyone attempting to live in reality according to the rules dictated by a delusion, and, in fact, is most likely a purely human characteristic, common to the believers of ANY religion.
“Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.” — Martin Fraquhar Tupper
At this point in this discussion, I think this final quote can point the way out of such a distasteful subject. My hands already will need to be washed thoroughly after this stuff, so I may as well close it by saying this…. The people in the world who have decided to allow fear to dictate their entire approach to Life, and submerge their intelligence in the pursuit of an idea that has no real connection to the real world, in order to spare themselves the effort of dealing with life directly, by condescending to use their own minds. That being said, I can finally give them their precise due, which means, I no longer need consider them, at all…. which also means I don’t have to waste my time talking about them any more….. Bully good news for y’all, don’t you think?…. I’m going now….. See?…. I’m already gone…..
“To perceive is to suffer.” — Aristotle, De Anima
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Here is one of Poe’s better works…. yes, I’m opinionated. Deal….
Oh! that my young life were a lasting dream!
My spirit not awakening, till the beam
Of an Eternity should bring the morrow.
Yes! tho’ that long dream were of hopeless sorrow,
‘Twere better than the cold reality
Of waking life, to him whose heart must be,
And hath been still, upon the lovely earth,
A chaos of deep passion, from his birth.
But should it be- that dream eternally
Continuing- as dreams have been to me
In my young boyhood- should it thus be given,
‘Twere folly still to hope for higher Heaven.
For I have revell’d, when the sun was bright
I’ the summer sky, in dreams of living light
And loveliness,- have left my very heart
In climes of my imagining, apart
From mine own home, with beings that have been
Of mine own thought- what more could I have seen?
‘Twas once- and only once- and the wild hour
From my remembrance shall not pass- some power
Or spell had bound me- ’twas the chilly wind
Came o’er me in the night, and left behind
Its image on my spirit- or the moon
Shone on my slumbers in her lofty noon
Too coldly- or the stars- howe’er it was
That dream was as that night-wind- let it pass.
I have been happy, tho’ in a dream.
I have been happy- and I love the theme:
Dreams! in their vivid coloring of life,
As in that fleeting, shadowy, misty strife
Of semblance with reality, which brings
To the delirious eye, more lovely things
Of Paradise and Love- and all our own!
Than young Hope in his sunniest hour hath known.
~~ Edgar Allan Poe ~~
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Due to the unpredictable nature of my mood today, I’ve avoided creating anything fresh….. I’m too familiar with the results of indulging such moods to allow one to affect today’s effort, which is already hovering around the “too weird even for gigoid” category. To assuage any lingering guilt for having shamelessly used the archives to fill in today’s post, here is a random, harlequin pearl to finish off this mess…. So much for vaulting ambition, eh?….. Let’s go see what SB can come up with for us today….
“Time is the great legalizer, even in the field of morals.” — H. L. Mencken (1880-1956), “A Book of Prefaces”, 1917
“Be brave enough to live creatively. The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. You can’t get there by bus, only by hard work, risking, and not quite knowing what you’re doing. What you’ll discover will be wonderful: yourself.” — Alan Alda
“If we don’t know life, how can we know death?” — Confucius
“The Tree of Learning bears the noblest fruit, but noble fruit tastes bad.” — Smart Bee
“It is a maxim universally agreed upon in agriculture, that nothing must be done too late; and again, that everything must be done at its proper season; while there is a third precept which reminds us that opportunities lost can never be regained.” — Pliny the Elder (23-79 AD) — Natural History, Book xviii, Sect. 44
“It is never too late to give up your prejudices.’ — Henry David Thoreau, Walden
“For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them.” — Aristotle, Ethica nicomachea II (c. 325 B.C.)
I keep telling you…. it’s all in the wrist, see?….
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Given the state of my mind this morning, I’m pretty well satisfied with this effort…. Nothing here will cause any bleeding, unless, of course, one rolls it up and strikes oneself in the face with it. I’d suggest NOT going that route, as it can lead to unwarranted accusations of self-abuse, a tough start to any day. Better to just read it with a certain degree of suspended judgment, and leave any build-up of angst and/or resentment to those simple folks who cannot comprehend their own ignorance….
Thus, having adeptly alienated anyone who doesn’t speak piffle, or at least another language that can help them to translate my alt-English into spoken, or written English, I will do the merciful thing, and end this here…. Y’all should probably check yourselves in the mirror before heading out into the public; it got a bit messy in here today…. See ya, tomorrow, I’m hoping….
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…
When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.
Which is Why….
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes,
I just sits.
gigoid the dubious
gigoid 