Tag Archives: Zippy the Pinhead

Now renting parodies of human existence….

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Ffolkes,

Oh. My. Gosh…. (Hmm… just doesn’t have the same punch as the blasphemous version, does it?…. Oh, well, I like to be polite, and blasphemy so early in the morning is rude, even for me….) Any who, color me both surprised and dismayed…. Yesterday, or rather, night before last, I slept so hard, I hurt  myself! All day yesterday, my left shoulder was killing me, no matter how much I tried to get ahead of the pain with an extra dose of meds. You can only go so far in that direction before being compelled to turn back, due to side effects, or overdosing concerns. No, I realized, around noon, the pain was because I slept so long on my left side, the shoulder was suffering from being held in one position for too long, and not being at all adult about suffering the pain in silence…..

In spite of the agonizing and contortions this caused during the day yesterday, you can see that it was such an unnerving episode that it’s still bothering me today…. It’s either that, or I’m being a weenie, and I don’t want to hear anything at all from the peanut gallery about that statement….. It was unnerving due to the ironic nature of the pain; if I hadn’t slept so well, I wouldn’t have been in pain…. I could easily attribute that kind of thing to Murphy, but, it’s a bit subtle for him; his sense of humor runs more to pie-in-the-face, or keystone kops, than it does to irony or subtlety…..

Hmm, I hate to say it, but, that only leaves the weenie option, which is just wrong, and doesn’t deserve the screen-time I’m giving the whole issue…. But, then, isn’t that what the intro section is for? Long-winded, barely sane, ironic, or sardonic, statements about issues that have no meaning outside my bathroom walls, for the most part, meandering for what often seems like forever through strange landscapes and even weirder concepts, all to get to some obscure, semi-intellectual question about matters that are unresolvable in light of modern technology, or modern culture, combined with some rather odd habits and beliefs about human nature….. But, think of this…. where would you be if you weren’t here?

Aha! See, you can’t answer that, not without stopping to read, and think about it…. And, the answer you’d find wouldn’t make you anywhere nearly as happy and amused as you are here, so, see? It’s not a waste of time, for you, or for me….. This concludes our exercise in the dangers of using logic before 6 PM….. I hope you have enjoyed learning about the most pressing problem faced by our society today; please feel free to take the handouts with you when you leave, and don’t forget to stop in the gift shop…. the starving children will thank you for all you purchases, 25% of which will go to their care and feeding….

How did we get there? And who was that guy? Just what is going on here? Sheesh, step away to get a cup of coffee, and two whole paragraphs appear on the screen! Ignore the last two, ffolkes, that was Murphy, doing his thing….. Though I do implore y’all to forget these excessively weird paragraphs even exist, I AM going to take them as part of the legal requirements for this section, and bring this to a close…. Alright, I can hear those of you not snickering breathing huge sighs of relief out there, so, I’ll take the hint, and get on with the business for today….

Shall we Pearl?…..
_____________________________

“HEY CONGRESS! What ever happened to the Constitution?” — Smart Bee

You would, as would anyone in this position, assume this to be the beginning of another rant against politics, and those wonderful examples of broken morality, our beloved ruling class. But, nope, it’s not…. Oh, it could be, if I wished it. In fact, that is what I started to do, when I first put it up there for your perusal….. But, to be honest, I’m just not in the mood for ranting today. Not that I don’t feel the outrage at their daily shenanigans…. My opinion of Obama took another nosedive day before yesterday, when he canceled his trip to speak with the leader of what’s left of the USSR, Alex Putin, because the Russians refused to extradite Eric Snowden, the former tech worker turned whistleblower….

I think that what Mr. Snowden did deserves the thanks and support of all the American people, for bringing to light still more of the clandestine activities being perpetrated by those in power. The reaction of the Obama administration has gone a long way toward destroying his image of a President who is concerned for the common man, as he continues to completely ignore the illegality of the entire issue (of the prisons, of the torture, of the internal spying, of the court with no oversight…) and refuses to even address his own part in all of it….. It’s infuriating to see a man of such patriotism and bravery (Snowden) being persecuted by his own government, though it shouldn’t come as a surprise….

Hmm….. It seems that if I allowed myself to do so, I could  put out a pretty vitriolic rant; I guess my mood is more flexible than I had assumed for so early…. But, I still don’t feel like going all the way off, because, well, getting all emotionally worked up is not a good way to start the day, at least, not today…. Any who, to avoid any further complications due to angst or emotional outbursts, I’ll let Smart Bee put together a pearl, using the political scene of today’s society as a starting point for search parameters….. Or, as they are fond of saying downtown…. whatever, dude….

“Do thou restrain the haughty spirit in thy breast, for better far is gentle courtesy.” — Homer

“I’m just here for moral support. Ignore the gun.” — Smart Bee, channeling a Senator

“I see it as a compensation. I feel like I’m doing a good job. If no one is recognizing my good job, I recognize it.” — Orlando Arias, Los Angeles county health inspector, — after being filmed accepting a $200 bribe, — as reported by AP, November 10, 1998

“Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.” — Publius Syrus (42 BC) — Maxim 914

“The Three Stooges, the sinking ship, and the lone lifeboat: Ronald Reagan: “Maybe we should save the women and children.”
Richard Nixon: “F**k the women and children!”
Bob Packwood: “Gee, do you really think we have time?”

— the Stilt Man

I think “immoral” is probably the wrong word to use…I prefer the word “unethical.” — Ivan Boesky, inside stock trader

“All military type firearms are to be handed in immediately… The SS, SA and Stahlhelm give every respectable German man the opportunity of campaigning with them.   Therefore anyone who does not belong to one of the above named organizations and who unjustifiably nevertheless keeps his weapon… must be regarded as an enemy of the national government.” — SA Oberfuhrer of Bad Tolz, March, 1933

I’m going to stop there, because it’s beginning to get a bit obscure, and I don’t want to anyone to lose the message…. which, simply put, is this…. Despite all they will tell you, the elected officials in this country, from the top, all the way to the bottom, are NOT doing their jobs with YOUR best interests in mind, nor are they overly concerned with following the precepts of governing as set down in the Constitution by our forefathers. They are doing the best they can do to fill their own pockets, and the pockets of their friends, and anything other than that they tell you is a bare-faced lie…. Sorry to be the one to tell you, but, somebody has to….

Of course, the last guy who did so is now hiding out, being protected by the Russian (!!!???) government, not out of humanitarian impulses, but for political gamesmanship…. These days, it’s not a good idea to be publishing the secrets of the politicians… They get so annoyed, and swarm around, looking just like a hive of beetles under a rock, exposed to the light of day…..

Unfortunately, they’re more dangerous than beetles, because they have guns, and, sadly, the force of the laws they’ve written to protect their rights to plunder, and to allow them to lie to us….. Watch your step, ffolkes, or you may be their next target for exploitation (not that you aren’t already being screwed over…. but, it could become specific and personal, rather than just as a part of the general fucking of society that is taking place…..)

I’ll leave you with two final thoughts on the subject, just because I can….

“I don’t pick on politicians. They ain’t done nothin’.” — Red Skelton

“Truly, you are a person who speaks the truth, lives the truth, abides by  the truth. And truth is, of course, stranger than fiction, and you certainly are too.” — Smart Bee
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Strangely enough, I’m still in the mood for Emily, so, you’ll have to put up with her insane genius for another day….

I cannot live with you,
It would be life,
And life is over there
Behind the shelf

The sexton keeps the key to,
Putting up
Our life, his porcelain,
Like a cup

Discarded of the housewife,
Quaint or broken;
A newer Sevres pleases,
Old ones crack.

I could not die with you,
For one must wait
To shut the other’s gaze down,–
You could not.

And I, could I stand by
And see you freeze,
Without my right of frost,
Death’s privilege?

Nor could I rise with you,
Because your face
Would put out Jesus’.
That new grace

Glow plain and foreign
On my homesick eye,
Except that you, than he
Shone closer by.

They’d judge us–how?
For you served Heaven, you know
Or sought to;
I could not,

Because you saturated sight,
And I had no more eyes
For sordid excellence
As Paradise.

And were you lost, I would be,
Though my name
Rang loudest
On the heavenly fame.

And were you saved,
And I condemned to be
Where you were not,
That self were hell to me.

So we must keep apart,
You there, I here,
With just the door ajar
That oceans are,
And prayer,
And that pale sustenance,
Despair!
 
~~ Emily Dickinson ~~

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This section’s pearl is a tribute to perseverance; I’m tired, and just want to be done for the day, but, I must live up to my own standards, because nobody else will… any who, no worries, we’ll just do a random harlequin old-school style pearl, and all will be well…. provided SB doesn’t give me a hard time…..

“For the wise men of old, the cardinal problem had been how to conform the soul to reality. And the solution has been knowledge, self-discipline, and virtue. But for the contemporary mindset the problem is how to subdue reality to the wishes of man.” — C.S. Lewis  “The Abolition of Man”

“He is the MELBA-BEING…  the ANGEL CAKE… XEROX him…  XEROX him –” — Zippy the Pinhead

“A State which is incompetent to satisfy different races condemns itself; a State which does not include them is destitute of the chief basis of self- government.  The theory of nationality, therefore, is a retrograde step in history.” — Lord Acton (1834-1902)

“If you don’t run your own life, somebody else will.” — John Atkinson

“Never create by law what can be accomplished by morality.” — Charles-Louis Secondat Baron de Montesquieu

“It is so basic. A human being is an innocent part of nature. Our civilization has distorted this universal quality that allows us to feel at home in our skin. Other animals have coats that they accept, but the human race has yet to come to terms with being nude.” — Ruth Bernhard

“If you work on your mind with your mind, how can you avoid an immense confusion?” — Seng-Ts’an

See? All in the wrist….
_____________________________

Producing these Pearls has, of late, been an epic undertaking…. but, since there isn’t anything else that is pulling at me to get done, I can only be grateful for having something that keeps me out of trouble, for the most part….. I’m not going to comment on what that may be costing me in terms of self-respect, but, whatever it is, my ego can take it…. and, no, I have no idea what any of that means, particularly…. Let’s see what kind of damage I’ve done so far…..

Okay, then…. That there is some serious business…. I didn’t realize I had come down so copiously on the BRC today, but, that’s okay by me, they deserve all the crap we can throw at them, just to keep things balanced…. Plus, it’s done, so, hey, I’m outta here…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Soused on pilfered gin, all in a good cause…..

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Ffolkes,

As much as I love it when a plan comes together, I hate even more when it doesn’t….. such as this morning. I can tolerate Murphy’s usual screwing around with those parts of life that will fuck me over the most; I even tolerate it when the asshole just won’t let up, and hits me over and over throughout the day…. But, this I won’t tolerate…. He’s trying to fuck with my computer, and that is unacceptable…. I don’t need that kind of aggravation, not any more, and I won’t put up with it for long at all….. If he continues in this vein, there WILL BE A RECKONING!!!

Sorry for the outburst, but, computer issues due to just plain orneriness is something I just won’t allow. If this were an old machine, or had a history, or was getting overloaded with too much crap software, or something explainable, I could accept a bit of mucking about on boot up….. But, the kind of stuff Murphy had it doing today just won’t cut it, not when I know there is no reason beyond Murphy’s own assholiness to hold as responsible….. Sorry, but, I’ll not have it, and if he doesn’t like it, well, he can come talk to me, and I’ll explain it, in words of no more than one syllable…. or, if that isn’t working, I can just show him with my hands….. he’ll get the picture quite quickly, in that case….

I know, I talk a big game, but, how am I going to get him to hold still? Those iconic forces of nature can be tricky to pin down, possessing those supernatural powers over the rules of space and time as they do….. But, I don’t care how big and bad he is, he fucks with my comp again, and he’s dead meat…..

There, I feel better, if only for venting. I suppose that’s why I rant…. to get all that powerful negativity out of my head, and out into the real world, where it can be better dealt with in a way that won’t harm me, or anyone else. It’s a harmless enough pastime, especially when one considers how few people actually see it in one day; nobody is going to get hurt if they don’t read it, and hopefully, even if they do read it, it won’t cause any bleeding…. I know that I hate to bleed anywhere near the computer, so I’m sure other ffolkes don’t much like it, either…. Not bleeding is a good thing, in most everyone’s world, so we’ll try to keep things such that it can be avoided….

I can’t say that I am terribly proud of this particular opening section; so far it’s even more lame than usual, even for this blog. But, we’ve already reached the point where we are over the limit for allowable deletion, so I’ll have to let it go out the way it is, sans any elegance or witty repartee. Rats! I did so hope to include some witty repartee today…. it’s been so long since I tried my hand at it….. Ah, well, I’ll just have to settle for whatever SB comes up with as pearls today, because, I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date….. not really, but, it’s time to go dive in….

Shall we Pearl?…..
_____________________________

I’m in a curious mood, one that feels as if I should not trifle with it, lest it become something more suitable for a horror movie, with great gobs of blood, gore, and destruction….. None of us wants that on a Friday; it could affect the entire weekend. So, I’m giving Smart Bee its head, to see what it can come up with that will possibly turn this in a new direction, before it gets dangerous to navigate…. let’s see what it can do….

“Knowledge is a polite word for dead but unburied imagination….think twice before thinking.” — e.e. cummings

In the days when Sussman was a novice Minsky once came to him as he sat hacking at the PDP-6.  “What are you doing?”, asked Minsky. “I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe.” “Why is the net wired randomly?”, asked Minsky. “I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play” Minsky shut his eyes. “Why do you close your eyes?”, Sussman asked his teacher. “So that the room will be empty.” At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.” — AI koan

“Enter freely and leave some of the happiness you bring behind.” — The Insidious Wu Han

“It is a great advantage for a system of philosophy to be substantially true.” — George Santayana

“People who wear mirrored sun glasses should seek professional help.” — Smart Bee

“Oh Lord, grant that we may not despise our rulers; and grant, oh Lord, that they may not act so we can’t help it.” — Lyman Beecher

“Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions.” — G. K. Chesterton, ILN, 4/19/30

Ooh, ooh, that’s a good one…. I can’t say for certain what direction it brought us to, but, it will, I have no doubt, be better than where we were headed…. Well, one always hopes…..
_____________________________

On days such as this, where I’m living under a set of rules that may or may not be clear, I tend to look for the same kind of obscurity, or at least, semi-transparency, in the poetry that will fit in with the mood of the day. Most often, in such cases, Emily is perfect, and today is such a case…. Don’t ask me to explain this one, because I won’t…. because I can’t…. I like it anyway…..

A bird came down the walk:
He did not know I saw;
He bit an angle-worm in halves
And ate the fellow, raw.

And then he drank a dew
From a convenient grass,
And then hopped sidewise to the wall
To let a beetle pass.

He glanced with rapid eyes
That hurried all abroad,–
They looked like frightened beads, I thought;
He stirred his velvet head

Like one in danger; cautious,
I offered him a crumb,
And he unrolled his feathers
And rowed him softer home

Than oars divide the ocean,
Too silver for a seam,
Or butterflies, off banks of noon,
Leap, splashless, as they swim.

~~ Emily Dickinson ~~

_____________________________

It isn’t your fault, but, I was up quite late this morning; turning over to try to go back to sleep actually kept working each time I did it, starting at 0400, all the way up to 0705, when I finally arose…. I reiterate, it isn’t your fault, but you’re going to get the perk that goes along with that, which is the simple fact that I don’t have the time to put together a rant…. This means, of course, that we’ll be going old-school for this section again today, and you will just have to learn to appreciate it…. Just think about the rant you’re NOT having to read….

Now that we have successfully promulgated, and denied, the normal course of events in such cases, I am free to go on to the gathering of the pearls, always the most fun part of this process….. Well, it’s fun, as long as Smart Bee is cooperating, and it has been doing well today so far…. let’s hope it continues…. Before I bore y’all completely senseless, which would mean calling the crew in to perform the sleeping body disposals, I’m going to go diving….. see ya on the flip side, as they say….. Well, I guess they don’t say that any more, so…. hell with it, I’ll be back….

“Most of us lead lives of chaotic improvisation from day to day, bawling for peace while plunging grimly into fresh disorders.” — Edward Abbey

“Integrity has no need for rules.” — Albert Camus

“The whole principle is wrong; it’s like demanding that grown men live on skim milk because the baby can’t eat steak.” — author Robert A. Heinlein on censorship

“If you wants to get elected president, you’ve got to think up some memorable homily so’s school kids can be pestered into memorizin’ it, even if they don’t know what it means.” — Walt Kelly, The Pogo Party

“Chi Wen Tzu always thought three times before taking action. Twice would have been quite enough.” — Confucius, 5th century BC

“The world will never starve for want of wonders; but only for want of wonder.” — G. K. Chesterton, TREMENDOUS TRIFLES

“Hello.  Just walk along and try NOT to think about your INTESTINES being almost FORTY YARDS LONG!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

What a perfectly random group! The point it takes us to is the absolute perfect representation of whatever it was we did here today, don’t you think? Of course, whatever that may be is beyond the capability of the English language to accurately describe, but, there is nothing new in that, either, not for this blog…. I like to think we push the boundaries back a little bit every day…. Oh, look, it’s quitting time!….  See ya….
_____________________________

As noted above, I got a late start today, but, managed to rush it all through without any bloodshed…. Let’s see if it’s at all palatable…. Well, it’s savory enough, even if potentially unpalatable for those who can’t, or won’t, use more than three neurons at once; that’s okay, it’s not designed for their consumption, anyway. Regardless of any of that, it will do, and, hallelujah, it’s done…. On time, too…. I’m going to count my blessings, and be on my way…. TTFN, amigos….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Yet another display of consistently obscene pathology….

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Ffolkes,

I suppose it all comes down to whether or not one is willing to put up with the universe’s demands upon our time and energy, when deciding which of the many different types of cereal to have for breakfast. I mean, there’ the question of sugar versus aspertane; the question of rolled oats versus wheat or corn flakes, the  question of puffs versus flakes, or the whole concept of cut-up fruit, and other accessories to the breakfast experience. And, then, just when you’ve decided on one thing or another, they ask you whether you want home fries or hash browns with that!…..

Life is hard, isn’t it? Decisions await the application of our will around every corner, every hour of the day; we can never really get away from the need for making hard decisions in life. Trying to do so only causes further difficulties, as Murphy has an entire department of imps just waiting to help us make decisions in life that are guaranteed to drive us insane, by feeding us false, or erroneous data about what we have to decide, thereby ensuring we make the wrong decision, thus, affording him and his minions hours of free entertainment, as we gnash our teeth and wail out our complaints to an uncaring universe….

Me, I stick to coffee in the mornings, leaving the decision-making to other folks to enjoy. I refuse to give Murphy the opportunity for any more free shots at me than he already takes. If I want to eat, I stick to pastries, or other stuff that won’t cause a big mess in the kitchen. That room is too full of too many dangerous objects; knives with sharp edges, fire, heavy pots, scalding hot liquids…. No, thanks, I’ll pass on all that in the morning, in lieu of making weekly trips to the emergency room to deal with Murphy’s latest version of what he thinks is funny, which, naturally, frequently causes me to leak one kind of body fluid or another…. another image I probably could have skipped using…. SIGH…. Oh, well, I can’t be responsible for the state of people’s stomachs ALL the time…..

Hmm…. compared to what generally passes for an intro in the mornings around here, this is pretty mild, and actually somewhat engaging, if you have any interest at all in breakfast cereals…. If not exactly your cup of tea, well, we’re serving coffee, over there in the corner, where Murphy and the gang are, of course, taking advantage of my hospitality by hogging all the condiments; you’re free to join them, at your own risk, naturally. He’s already had his way with me today, so he’ll be glad of the company. Me, I’m going to go pearling, as if it were the most natural thing in the world…..

Shall we Pearl?…..
_____________________________

Yesterday, Smart Bee was a bit off center at times, but, with good grace, and a willing heart, it managed to get me what I needed, and threw in a few extras for today’s post, which I dutifully saved, recognizing them as the lustrous gems they were…. I’ll now go search out a few more, to fill out the dimensions for a proper indictment of the beloved ruling class, and the panorama of human folly we call “politics”, which, as, I believe, Ambrose Bierce pointed out, is a combination word, coming from “poly” meaning “many”, and “tics” meaning “blood sucking insects”….. a perfect description of the general run of that sport’s participants….

“Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.” — H.L. Mencken, “Little Book in C major”, 1916

“Can there be a republic that does not slump under the weight of so much human desire?” — Michael Scully

“Beyond a critical point within a finite space, freedom diminishes as numbers increase. . . . the human question is not how many can possibly survive within the system, but what kind of existence is possible for those who do survive.” — Frank Herbert, Dune

“‘Tis better to be alone than in the company of fools.” — Bobby Matherne, American Philosopher (1940-)

“I had too much to dream last night.” — Electric Prunes

“In our society, the Republicans set out to prove that the Democrats can not  be trusted to run the government. And the Democrats set out to prove that the Republicans can not be trusted to run our government. The real problem here is that both the Democrats and the Republicans have come up with  something which is absolutely true and perfectly correct. This means that the people get to pull some sort of horrible trick on themselves and live with their choice for four years.” — Smart Bee

“Now I’m concentrating on a specific tank battle toward the end of World War II!” — Zippy the Pinhead

Okay, silly, I know…. but, look closely, and you’ll see how true all of them really are, when compared to reality…. Here, if it’s that big a deal for y’all…. here is a final word, that pretty much says it all… but, without the buffer of humor….

“…when all government… in little as in great things, shall be drawn to Washington as the centre of all power, it will render powerless the checks provided of one government on another and will become as venal and oppressive as the government from which we separated.” — Thomas Jefferson, 1821
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Poetry is sometimes so powerful, it only takes a few meager lines to impart an incredible amount of inspiration, wisdom, and beauty….. Emily was a master of this principle….

Because I could not stop for Death —
He kindly stopped for me —
The carriage held but just ourselves
And immortality.

~~ Emily Dickinson ~~


“We have art that we do not die of the truth.” — Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
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I’m still feeling a bit silly, so I’m going to give in to the impulse to let that out into the light of day, and go with another old school pearl, this one gathered with the idea of ‘smiling’ in mind…. Let’s see what SB has to say on the subject…..

“We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.” — Nietzsche, Friedrich Wilhelm (1844-1900)

“Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.” — Joseph Wood Krutch

“If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.” — Murphy’s Eighth Law

“OH, STOP YOUR WHINING!” — Smart Bee
(ref: Peruaosophy, Axiom #6, to wit: Axiom #2 X axiom #5 = And God so loved the world, He said, “Quit whining!”)

* Greatest number of citizens who have actually boarded a UFO
* Many newspapers feature “JUMBLE”
* Hourly motel rates
* Vast majority of Elvis movies made here
* Didn’t just give up right away during World War II like some countries we could mention
* Goatees & Van Dykes thought to be worn only by weenies
* Our well-behaved golf professionals
* Fabulous babes coast to coast

— David Letterman’s “Things we can be proud of as Americans”

“The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.  — Jane Wagner”

“A day without a laugh is a day wasted.” — E.E. Cummings
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I love it when a plan, etc…… Due to time constraints imposed upon me by the BBR, (Big Blue Room, for those with memory impairment issues….), I had to sort of rush through this morning’s post… Sometimes that affects the quality, or, at least, the format that is employed in creating the pearl. Today, I think it went well, so, let’s see….

cute owlYes, yes, this pleases cute owl! Well, it pleases me, anyway, and that’s all that counts in the ultimate sense. Cute owl is only here as a hired consultant…. Now that I have demonstrably gone completely around the bend, I’ll leave you to treat your wounds in peace….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Some folks never do understand fractions….

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Ffolkes,

Destroy his fib or sophistry–in vain!
The creature ‘s at his dirty work again.

— Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — Epistle to Dr. Arbuthnot, Prologue to the Satires, Line 91

Aye, he is, indeed. Up, that is, and at his dirty work, again…. Well, I am, anyway, even if the creature isn’t quite awake yet…. Actually, it’s a good sign, being up early, considering how early I fell asleep. I felt like a little kid, falling asleep before dark, afraid I was going to miss something. I didn’t, though, so it was okay to fall out that early, as I had already done everything there was to do, up to, and including, dinner with my lady. Eating well, good company, and a double shot of Jack will put me under every time, especially now that I’m old and frail….

Hah! Caught ya! Old and frail, indeed…. While I must admit that I am old, and I do get tired pretty fast these days, I don’t think I’m quite ready to join the Geezer Society, or to become a member of the “let’s go sit down for that” group of senior citizens, who never get out to do anything, spending their time rocking on the porch, watching the world go by…. Thanks, but I’d rather be part of the parade marching past, even if I must limp, and, even if it means getting tired all the time, eh? Fatigue is  a small price to pay, for not turning into a slug…. Besides, as a slug, you’ve got to always be on the lookout for salt….

I should know better than to start writing before I drink some of my coffee…. I AM up early again, at 0500, but, since I fell out at 8:30 last night, that is quite enough sleep, and I’ve got no worries there…. But, the content of anything that streams out of my pre-caffeinated brain is suspect, at the very least, and, potentially, toxic, at the worst. This, I think, falls in between, and isn’t dangerous, by any means….. But, then, neither is it particularly interesting, or gut-bustingly funny, and it certainly isn’t going to make anyone run out and wake up the Pulitzer Committee members…. Hell, it may not even hold anyone’s interest as far as this paragraph, and that is sad, indeed….

I must try to overcome my sadness, though, and go on…. nothing else would be honorable. Okay, well, you’re right, it doesn’t have anything to do with honor, but, I’m human, and I, too, occasionally fall prey to those human foibles, of making things up, or more plainly, lying to suit my own purposes, in this case, just getting on with it…. This lie, intended to speed things along, like the lies our beloved leaders tell us, aren’t BAD lies, they’re little white lies, and won’t hurt anyone…. right? Right? Lying CAN be a good thing, yes?….

Well, no, it can’t…. It isn’t really a good idea, even to spare someone’s feelings…. The truth, painful as it can sometimes be, is always best. We tend to forget that, because we sometimes wish we hadn’t known the truth…. But, knowing the truth, unpalatable as it may be, will never poison us, whereas lies will cause us toxic pain, one way or another, every time they are used, either as a passive recipient, or as a guilty perpetrator….. We all hate the fact that pain is our best teacher, but, we all know it is true, which is the source of the old adage about “sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind”, one we all acknowledge as truth, though we don’t always like it….

There I go again, ranting in the intro section…. SIGH…. I wish I could get a solid handle on this stuff; it’s getting a bit frustrating….. Though, that, of course, totally ignores the fact that I do it to myself…. Ah well, I guess we’re all Bozos on this bus, so, I may as well let my humongous proboscis do its thing, and honk away…. meanwhile….

Shall we Pearl?…..
_____________________________

“King Arthur and his armored goons of the Round Table functioned as the Politburo of a slave state: Camelot. Of all who have written on the Matter of Arthur, from Malory to White, only Mark Twain understood this. But Mark Twain was a great writer.” — Edward Abbey

Which means, by implication, all the others were not good writers….. I happen to agree with this assessment, but, then, I’m  curmudgeon by nature, and by training, so accepting an unpopular truth comes easy to me. It’s unpopular because all those other authors have agents, too, and hate to see their charges maligned, even posthumously.

Then, there is also the fact that the lies, of which the history of any historical period are comprised, are considered to be the truth of the matter, as decided by the ruling faction at the time, and with the approval of the priestly hierarchies…. Historical writings are notorious for being colored by the wishes and desires of the church leaders and kings of the periods in question; an adage commonly held by all ages is, “history is written by the winners….”

This is not supposition, by the way…. This is a proven historical fact, and one that, though everyone seems to know it, and accept it, nobody seems to want to do anything about it. Not only that, but, our modern leaders, in both the governments, and, the churches, lie to us on a daily basis, and nobody seems to care about that, either….

It’s as if over half the human race just gives up all hope of understanding the universe, or having any overt personal control over their own lives, and gives up their right to make up their own minds to those in authority, allowing them to do all their thinking for them, and accepting whatever lies they choose to tell, implicitly….. It quite simply makes me crazy….

Those in power KNOW this, of course, and encourage it shamelessly…. The church leaders all preach tolerance, and submission to temporal authority, while at the same time accepting the kickbacks and privileges afforded them by their sanctified status, with no taxes, and all the other perks that go along with being a church.

The government leaders are more obvious in their machinations, but still are allowed to lie, and cheat, and steal, right out in the open, with the full approval of those who elect them…. Until, of course, someone points out the immorality or unethical nature of something, then there is a huge outcry, and some other idiot with a glib tongue is shoved into the limelight, in favor of the liar who got caught… which, in our culture, is the ultimate crime…

Yep…. killing, stealing, violence, lying, all are socially acceptable activities, provided one does not commit the ultimate crime of getting caught doing any of it…. Our culture REWARDS this kind of behavior, with laws that protect anyone who lives within its parameters.

We have, on the books, laws that allow for discrimination, cheating others, and/or outright violence, provided one a) has a legally approved reason (i.e., government or societal sanction, such as for the police entitlements, or, such as “stand your ground” laws, or, most egregiously, laws stating that corporations are “persons”….), or b) doesn’t get caught doing it…. According to the law, if no one saw you do it, it didn’t get done…. I guess that makes sense, in an unreal sort of way…. It sure doesn’t account for reality very well, though….

Okay, I’m done ranting for now…. I rant and rave about this stuff regularly, but, very seldom does it have any real effect out in the real world, which sort of puts it in the “useless wind” category of literature. Maybe someday, someone will listen, or read it, and get a clue, and spread it around a little wider….

It would be, in my estimation, a very good thing for a lot of people to know this stuff, because, believe me, none of your teachers, or preachers, or politicians, or policemen, are ever going to tell you any of this stuff, for the simple reason that they would rather you didn’t know, and would prefer that you didn’t even think about this kind of thing…. They’re better off when you don’t….

Me, I say, fuck ’em….  I prefer to live in Reality, as it exists, to “tell the truth, and shame the Devil,” as much as I possibly can…. the Devil being defined as that part of humanity that lies to the rest of us…. Maybe I’ll just call it The Asshole Syndrome, and let it go at that…. In conclusion, I have only these comments….

“Beware of the half truth.  You may have gotten hold of the wrong half.” — Smart Bee

“Who cannot give good counsel? ‘T is cheap, it costs them nothing.” — Robert Burton (1577-1640) — The Anatomy of Melancholy, Part ii, Sect. 2, Memb. 3

“If voting could change the system it would be illegal.  If not voting could change the system it would be illegal.” — Schroedinger’s Cat

“Forbid a man to think for himself or to act for himself and you may add the joy of piracy and the zest of smuggling to his life.” — Elbert Hubbard

“A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.” — Mark Twain

“Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I’m rich.” — Daffy Duck, from Looney Tunes Ali Baba Bunny (1957, Chuck Jones)

And, of course, the kicker….

“History is a pack of lies about events that never happened told by people who weren’t there.” — George Santayana
_____________________________

What better way to show how the subject of the above rant has affected society, than to exhibit a poet who rejected the lies he heard, and insisted on describing reality the way he saw it, much to the chagrin of the powers that be…..

Cultural Exchange

In the Quarter of the Negroes
Where the doors are doors of paper
Dust of dingy atoms
Blows a scratchy sound.
Amorphous jack-o’-Lanterns caper
And the wind won’t wait for midnight
For fun to blow doors down.
By the river and the railroad
With fluid far-off going
Boundaries bind unbinding
A whirl of whistles blowing.
No trains or steamboats going–
Yet Leontyne’s unpacking.

In the Quarter of the Negroes
Where the doorknob lets in Lieder
More than German ever bore,
Her yesterday past grandpa–
Not of her own doing–
In a pot of collard greens
Is gently stewing.

Pushcarts fold and unfold
In a supermarket sea.
And we better find out, mama,
Where is the colored laundromat
Since we move dup to Mount Vernon.

In the pot behind the paper doors
on the old iron stove what’s cooking?
What’s smelling, Leontyne?
Lieder, lovely Lieder
And a leaf of collard green.
Lovely Lieder, Leontyne.

You know, right at Christmas
They asked me if my blackness,
Would it rub off?
I said, Ask your mama.

Dreams and nightmares!
Nightmares, dreams, oh!
Dreaming that the Negroes
Of the South have taken over–
Voted all the Dixiecrats
Right out of power–

Comes the COLORED HOUR:
Martin Luther King is Governor of Georgia,
Dr. Rufus Clement his Chief Adviser,
A. Philip Randolph the High Grand Worthy.
In white pillared mansions
Sitting on their wide verandas,
Wealthy Negroes have white servants,
White sharecroppers work the black plantations,
And colored children have white mammies:
Mammy Faubus
Mammy Eastland
Mammy Wallace
Dear, dear darling old white mammies–
Sometimes even buried with our family.
Dear old
Mammy Faubus!

Culture, they say, is a two-way street:
Hand me my mint julep, mammny.
Hurry up!
Make haste!

~~ Langston Hughes ~~

_____________________________

“That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!” — Calvin & Hobbes (Bill Watterson)

Now, THAT’S what I’m talking about! This is an excellent approach to living life, as it deserves to be lived (whew, almost said “should”….see yesterday’s Pearl….), one that provides a lot of good insulation against the lies and general run of bad stuff life can bring…. Well, maybe not QUITE that excellent, but, it does show a good, strong, positive ego, with all the chutzpah Calvin will ever need to get by…

Actually, I just like it, because it’s typical Calvin, and, as such, is a contains many sharp metaphors for society at large… I know, sometimes my imagination takes me right up to the edge of sanity, and peers over to view the long fall, fearlessly…. It’s the only way I can do that without suffering vertigo….

Any who, I’m feeling a bit silly, and since my own writing currently seems unequal to the task of being achingly funny, I’ll leave it to Smart Bee to find some mild hilarity for me…. I depend heavily on SB these days, and, so what? What’s it to ya? You don’t like that? Are you talkin’ to ME?….. Pardon me, while I do a Bob Hoskins in Good Fellows on you……

No, so, anyway, the following will be a randomly chosen pearl, with only a vague concept in mind, a vision of a big, goofy-looking face bearing a huge smile, and a mirthful, yet vacuous expression…. Strait, sparse little spikes of red hair on his cone-shaped head, sky-blue eyes, and a scruffy, unshaven, sparse beard…. big, ruffly clown collar…. you got the picture? Okay, let’s pearl….

“When I met th’POPE back in ’58, I scrubbed him with a MILD SOAP or DETERGENT for 15 minutes.  He seemed to enjoy it..” — Zippy the Pinhead

“We ain’t got hold of culture yet, but when we do get hold of her, we will adjust her and settler her down and make her hum and run like crazy.” — Smart Bee

“If there were no God, it would be necessary to invent him.” — Voltaire (1694-1778) — Epitre a l’Auteur du Livre des Trois Imposteurs, cxi

“Remember what the dormouse said…  FEED YOUR HEAD…” — Grace Slick

“You boys lookin’ for trouble?” “Sure. Whaddya got?” — Marlon Brando, “The Wild Ones”

“You can’t fall off the floor.” — Paul’s Law  “It takes children three years to learn Paul’s Law.” — Chapman’s Commentary on Paul’s Law

“It don’t mean a THING if you ain’t got that SWING!!” — Zippy the Pinhead
_____________________________

If you believe that I have crossed any lines, or used an excessive number of Zippy quotes (Thanks, Bill….), you are free to file a complaint with the Board of Outraged Citizens; I think you can get the form online now…. Let’s see how it came out, in toto….

Well, it’s certainly long enough, and has its moments, so, we’ll let it fly…. I suppose they can’t all be masterpieces, but, though this makes it partway there, (it DOES have rants, and pearls, and good poetry….), it’s just not worthy of that sobriquet, and, I have to admit it would be nice to see ONE of them achieve that exalted status…. SIGH…. Frustrated ambition is the pits…. I guess I’ll give it up, and save myself the angst for something more accessible… 

  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

That’s one cantankerous clown….

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Ffolkes,

As I sit down today to begin, the expected blankness that fills my mind is broken only by the few pathetic words and letters piled in the corner, laying there in a jumbled pile, dusty, and unwanted. I swept them all up, put them in a bag, and am now utilizing the poor, sad, little things to write this, hoping that by doing so, inspiration will strike, without drawing blood, I trust. The auspices for a good day are enhanced thereby, though certainly not guaranteed to bring anything worthwhile…. While we’re sitting here, waiting to see what will happen, would anyone else like some coffee? No? I make it strong, so it’s pretty good, I think; it will certainly wake you up, even if you’re mostly dead….

When I was a breakfast cook, many years ago, I would always make a pot of coffee for myself, before any of the waitrons came in, and before any patrons were served. I made it to suit myself, and, normally, the waitrons would either finish it themselves, or toss it out before opening, as it was (literally) twice as strong as their normal brew, and not acceptable for serving to the customers of the resort…. One morning, they forgot to toss it, and it got served to about 6 or 8 senior citizens who came in right before their tour bus left to go home to Fresno…. Two days later, the driver of their bus, on a return trip, asked the waitrons what had happened, because, on the trip to Fresno, these 8 seniors were the life of the party, laughing, singing, and traipsing back and forth to the toilet for most of the three hour bus ride….. It was the most life he’d seen in one of those groups in his twenty years of driving for them…..

Okay, well, I suppose an anecdote from the past is an acceptable way to open up this kind of blog, especially on a Sunday….. Not that Sundays are much different than any other day in my life, but, the rest of the world pays a lot of attention to that kind of thing, so I must at least acknowledge it. Not doing so probably wouldn’t cause a lot of problems, like losing money or anything, but, it has been known to cause angst, in others, when I forget to pay homage to the (delusional) connotations of this day of the week, in a congregational sense…. A lot of Americans ignore the imperative to be in church today, or to, at least, confine one’s activities to church-approved events or tasks, like gardening, or working around the house….. A whole bunch of them engage in sporting activities, generally while seated in a chair with their beer of choice, observing others play the sport on the babble-box…..

Me, I’m retired, don’t suffer from delusions, and I don’t have a TV, so none of that affects me, other than to remember that everyone else is paying their homage to their programmed tapes, the set of instructions instilled in them from the time they were small, and defenseless…. It makes me sad for them, but, at this stage of history there is very little I can do, other than encourage them to try new things, to think new thoughts, and throw off the dark, stifling, delusional beliefs that have held them in thrall for their entire existence…. and that’s mostly as effective as pissing into the wind & expecting to keep your pants dry….

Hmph…. sorry, didn’t mean to go all graphic, but, you get the idea…. Any who, look! We’ve gotten five paragraphs in to this error of judgment, which is legally an intro, so, I’m going to take advantage of that little loophole in the law, and get on with the rest of today’s nonsense, or sense, depending on what I find to chew on, and spit back out…. Maybe I’ll go look for a headline to discuss…. yeah, that’s the ticket… Okay, that’s enough of this….

Shall we Pearl?….
_____________________________

You know, normally, when looking through the headlines in the morning, I suppose, like everyone, I tend to skip over stuff that doesn’t seem to catch my attention. Today, I examined those teasing first lines for stuff to demonstrate a point, to wit: society is plain crazy, and the end is near…. Well, maybe not today, but, it’s getting closer all the time…. Any who, when I did so today, I found that things are, perhaps, both worse, and a little better, than I had thought…. In lieu of a pearl, here, then, are some of today’s actual headlines for news from around the US, the Bay Area, and the world at large….. I don’t think I need to point out just how crazy it all is, but, this stuff is pretty crazy…. for a purportedly normal Sunday…..

BART strike bad for all sides.

1 dead,11 hurt in rammings.

210 arrested at Chevron refinery protest.

Man shoots duo that abducted him, his wife.

KGO-TV news team robbed in Oakland.

SF protesters condemn Russia’s anti-gay laws.

OpenTable gobbles up Urbanspoon’s RezBook.

Twitter tries to curb abuse of female users.

Column title: Who is the Knucklehead of the week.

All of these were pulled fresh from the news on 8/4/2013, and were all found on the SFGATE web site, an outlet connected to the SF Chronicle. Do I need to point out the implications of each? Or, should I point out the points that connect all of them, and, together, point out the path we have taken toward the future? No, I didn’t think so…. It’s pretty obviously crazy, all of it….

“America!!  I saw it all!!  Vomiting!  Waving!  JERRY FALWELLING into your void tube of UHF oblivion!!  SAFEWAY of the mind –” — Zippy the Pinhead
_____________________________

Since I didn’t rant, I’m too lazy to go find a poem, and I don’t have one ready to write, y’all will just have to deal with one of mine from the archives…. I did try to pick one that fits in with today’s themes, sort of…. Enjoy!

Geezer to Congress, with Love

Politicos don’t care much ’bout seniors and their ilk,
except for their money, I thinks;
Though they talk as if they’d cozen them in silk,
what they actually do, it stinks.

“The banks are failing, we can’t allow that!”,
steal from the aged, that’s their plan.
“Their life’s ending, that’s plainly where they’re at,”
lie shamelessly, because they can.

Maybe just once, if we all act together,
it couldn’t miss.
Right on their shoes, no matter the weather,
we take careful aim, and piss.

Why the hell not?
It’s worth a shot!

~~ gigoid ~~

_____________________________

There I was, cruising through Smart Bee, looking for one type of pearl, so, of course, SB has to start throwing all sorts of useful stuff at me, without coming close to what I was looking for…. Naturally, I went with the flow, because otherwise it just gets worse. I stuck the random quotes in other, future pearl sections, to be used at a later date, and collected the ones that came up that seemed to hang together. Once more, serendipity has stepped in, and delivered a strong seven-star pearl, aimed directly at a common subject of ours here at ECR, to wit: government, and those sociopaths who engage in it….

“Success and failure are equally disastrous.” — Tennessee Williams

“You can always get the truth from an American statesman after he has turned  seventy, or given up all hope of the presidency.” — Wendell Phillips

“Appearances often are deceiving.” — Aesop (620-560 B.C.)

“The intelligence of any discussion diminishes with the square of the number of participants.” — Adam Walinsky

“The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves.” — William Hazlitt

What Congress means by ethics is best explained by the tailor’s story: “Suppose I sell a suit to a young man for $200.  He tells me that his family is footing the bill and that if I give him a receipt for $400 to give to his parents, he will pay me $100 on the side. The question of ethics is: Do I keep the extra $100 myself, or do I tell my partner and split it with him?” — Smart Bee

“As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one.” — Rom 3:10
_____________________________

“Being a pain in the ass is a prerogative of the creative mind.” — Smart Bee

Alright, you don’t have to shout; I’m right here….. I know, the last line is a bit egotistical, isn’t it? I can’t say I’ve ever had a problem with mine, but, if you say so, well, I’ll accept that. I won’t do anything about it, but, I accept it….. That being said, let’s see how all this came out….. All things considered, not bad at all…. If nothing else, it is NOT normal, so, it will do…. and, since I can’t think of any further damage I can do without getting fully dressed, I’ll bid thee adieu….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Gazing into the abysmal mirror of introspection….

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Ffolkes,

Well, there’s a switch…. Murphy decided to surprise me today by leaving me alone. As a result, I slept, like the proverbial rock, until after 0700 AM, for perhaps the first time in a decade, if we don’t count those mornings when I did so, but only because I didn’t go to sleep until 3 or 4 AM. I don’t think I’ve slept that much since before my kids were born, 33+ years ago…..

What a treat! Of course, my body feels strange, but, that is just the unusual, and uncommon, feeling of having more than enough energy, for a change. It’s been so long, I wasn’t sure what it was…. thought it was an illusion, at first. It’s actually a good feeling, one I recall having quite often in the distant past, before PTSD and adulthood took away that boon….

Oddly enough, I find that having energy doesn’t necessarily translate into having intelligent thoughts, or brilliant ideas for something to write about, or instantly knowing what phrase will work…. I’m just as fuzzy as if I’d gotten up earlier…. Ah well, I AM a Bozo, so what can I say? And, just because Murphy got me once, by reversing the order of things on me, doesn’t mean he isn’t still out there, waiting to get me again…. the asshole.

Not having any ideas to write about has never stopped me before, and it won’t today, either….. Yesterday, I used the excuse of business out in the BBR to shorten this intro section…. That part worked okay, but, I’m never at my happiest when I have to resort to the archives….. I hate repeating myself, big time. But, then, much of what I end up ranting about is a repeat of one kind or another, so I suppose that’s just a personal quirk that I shouldn’t let affect things as I do. Oops…. there’s that word again….

“Shouldn’t”….. I don’t know about y’all, but a long time ago, I learned a lesson about the word “should”….. It is a truism, and when one thinks it over, it is easy to see that it is a truism right down to the bone, and not really arguable at all; no argument to the contrary of what I am about to relate is valid, because they all veer away from reality and truth….

Simply put, the lesson/truism says, this: whenever you use the word “should” in a sentence, you are relating information that someone else told you. It isn’t something you told yourself, or figured out on your own…. we only do “should” when we learn it from another, and use it as a “guilty” motivation to act a certain way….

In this case, it happens to be something that I DID tell myself, (as seen in the above sentence….)…. but, the need to not let personal quirks affect things is NOT mine…. THAT idea came from someone else, and really isn’t true, when you look at it…. Personal quirks don’t necessarily mean bad writing, but, we’re all taught to not let stuff like that happen, by the myrmidons of society who teach their unwanted and unwieldy code of (im)morality to everyone else with platitudes and lies hidden as metaphors.  No matter what it is, if the word “should” shows up, you can bet some busybody told you whatever it was you used it in relation to, and told it to you long ago, before you knew better than to listen to old fools….

Well, between my back pain (moderate), my bemusement at sleeping so long, and my tendency to ramble, I’ve managed to put together quite a hefty opening section…. a little ranting, a bit of advice, some societal wisdom, and an indictment of the iconic asshole who bothers us all…. not bad for a Saturday morning, I’d say… and, if you will note, I just did say…. Which, all things considered, is probably enough, if not too much, so…..

Shall we Pearl?….
_____________________________

It being Saturday, well, it really don’t mean shit, but, we’ll pretend it does…. So, I’ll tell you that this pearl will be old-school, and since school is closed on Saturday, we’re up the creek without paddles or gum. Nonetheless, I think Smart Bee can do this, so, we’ll give it a shot, and hope for, if not the best, something fairly easy on the eye and mind….

“You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.” — Irish Proverb

“To get anywhere, or even to live a long time, a man has to guess, and guess right, over and over again, without enough data for a logical answer.” — Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

“Nobody can live in society without conventions. The reason why sensible people are as conventional as they can bear to be is that conventionality saves so much time and thought and trouble and social friction of one sort or another that it leaves them much more leisure time for freedom than unconventionality does.” — George Bernard Shaw

“The unnatural, that too is natural.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)

“To reach perfection, one must understand the converse is also true; to be fully perfect, one must also be perfectly imperfect.” — gigoid

“Truth is just truth…you can’t have opinions about truth.” — P. Shickele

“I’m having an emotional outburst!!” — Zippy the Pinhead
_____________________________

“Ask a toad what is beauty?…a female with two great round eyes coming out of her little head, a large flat mouth, a yellow belly and a brown back.” — Voltaire (1694-1778)

(No, I can’t explain why this seems appropriate here and now….. but, it does, and it is, so…. don’t fret about it, stranger stuff has happened around here, so, just feel lucky for the time being, and we’ll move on…..)

Everybody Tells Me Everything

I find it very difficult to enthuse
Over the current news.
Just when you think that at least the outlook is so black that it can grow no blacker, it worsens,
And that is why I do not like the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

~~ Ogden Nash ~~


Aha…. now I understand the presence, and relevance, of the Voltaire quote…..
_____________________________

The following pearl, of the old-school variety, was originally intended as the beginning of a rant; the first quote, from Jack Kennedy, was so startlingly real, not to mention incredibly arrogant, it stimulated the outrage I need for such treatises….. but, my thoughts on the subject were a bit jumbled at first, then, I saw the next quote, and I realized it would be better to go old-school, as the vitriol and vituperation I would have engendered while writing about such chicanery might have gotten on my clothes, and that stuff NEVER comes out… Any who, here is a group of pearls, all intended, please note, as ironic, or to act as an indictment of those who are mentioned in conjunction with them….

“Private enterprise … makes OK private action which would be considered dishonest in public action.” — John Fitzgerald Kennedy (1917-1963)
(This one just enrages me…. It goes to show, though, just how little politicians care about the common man, and how easily they can rationalize and justify their own actions, or those of their cronies, and how easily morality and ethics are tossed out the door in the name of profit and power….)

“If the liberties of the American people are ever destroyed, they will fall by the hands of the Clergy.” — General Marquis de Lafayette, 1789
(Gee, who’d’ve guessed?…. Ah, let’s see…. Adams, Jefferson, Franklin, Madison….. oh, okay….)

“Cutting the space budget really restores my faith in humanity. It eliminates dreams, goals, and ideals and lets us get straight to the business of hate, debauchery, and self-annihilation.” — Johnny Hart
(Tongue firmly in cheek….)

“I am not a part of the problem. I am a Republican.” — Dan Quayle
(Blatant ignorance…. not to mention wrong! )

“This just in from a Nicholas Notifier up north.  Everyone’s favorite farmer and political commentator off the interstate near Chehalis has just come up with the prize line of his career.  “Limit congressmen to two terms.  One in office.  One in jail.” — Jonathan Nicholas’ column in The Oregonian, Friday, March 29, 1991

“Any excuse will serve a tyrant.” — Aesop (620-560 B.C.)

“A neighbor came to Nasrudin, asking to borrow his donkey.  “It is out on loan,” the teacher replied.  At that moment, the donkey brayed loudly inside the stable.  “But I can hear it bray, over there.”  “Whom do you believe,” asked Nasrudin, “me or a donkey?” — Smart Bee

Well, there you have it, a perfectly imperfect old-school pearl of virtual wisdom, chock full of sardonic humor and dry wetness, among other oxymoronic impedimenta…. I like it, and so does Mikey….
_____________________________

I like even better that, not only did I get lots of sleep, this Pearl flowed out smoothly enough to get finished in excellent time. Now, if it doesn’t take too much fixing…..

Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Filled with fanatical fervor for fennel cakes….

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Ffolkes,

“The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.”  I had forgotten this lesson, until today, when Smart Bee remembered it for me. It’s one I learned a long time ago, first learning to use it in a physical sense, then later hearing it spoken aloud, and explored as a concept one may use to form strategy and/or tactics, and ultimately, use to deal with real issues in life.  I’m not sure, but it probably originated in The Art of War, the classic tome by Sun Tzu, that is still used today in military colleges all over the world, as the primer in that subject, the basic knowledge that all warriors need to understand. It is also an idea that many writers could use to make life easier, should they choose to observe it in their work….

I’ve been approaching this whole writing thing with a bass-ackwards POV, assuming that certain standards needed to be met, in order to consider myself successful. In point of fact, nothing of the sort is true, and following that path only leads to ultimate frustration, as one’s needs and desires bump up against Reality, always a sure-fire clusterfuck.

In Reality, standards only exist for the convenience of the natives; they don’t really apply to the real world at all, as the parameters for that are completely flexible, and change all the damn time. Reality doesn’t CARE, you see, only we do, so we try to place our own hang-ups, our neurotic need for some kind of understandable order, onto Reality’s shoulders, whereupon it just shrugs it off, every time….

The truth of the matter is that all I need to do is please myself, and not worry about the rest of it….. The purpose behind my performing this exercise is to maintain some semblance of sanity…. I’ve found that if I DON’T get this stuff out of my head, it tends to cause problems for me, and ultimately, for everyone else with whom I come into contact.

I am afraid that if I didn’t get it out of there, it could eventually creep out into the real world, and start affecting the parameters of the space-time continuum, with unpredictable, but most likely bad, results for everyone. Sudden shifts in how space and time operate are not particularly welcomed with glee by most of this universe’s inhabitants; they tend to get annoyed, once they’ve stopped screaming in abject terror….

As you might guess, I don’t want that to happen, so, I try to get all this out of my brain every day, lest bad stuff occur… it’s just better for everyone if I do…. Yep, that’s me all over…. altruistic and generously compassionate. See, it says so, right here on the label….. If you can buy into that, I’d like to speak to you later about an investment opportunity, just for you, with no risk attached…. Bring cash, okay?….

Since I’ve made this decision, which, essentially says that I can do whatever I damn well please, I feel a lot better, understandably. It takes a lot of pressure off to know that one needn’t give a shit about anything anyone thinks, or anything anyone can do; quite liberating, you know? I’m not sure as to how that will translate into the pearls, but, hey, any changes are good, as we say around here…. Besides, how could it get worse? Here now, stop that snickering, and be nice….

Shall we Pearl?….
_____________________________

These days, the urge to rant is almost constant…. the primary stimulant is always a news headline, and is always  out there somewhere, on the net, the radio, the TV, or in a newspaper, for me to find. I seldom need to even read the articles behind the headlines, as the irony comes clear quite well without doing so, and reading the entire set of lies that the pundits are trying to sell us just makes me more angry, which can make the rant more vicious.

No, there isn’t any difficulty in finding rantable material, the issue I’m having is in the motivation to do so, which seems to be waning a bit, leaving me feeling lazy…. It’s waning, I know, because my overall life is making me happier than it has in a long time, so it’s not as if I want that to change; that would be downright stupid.

It does make for less compelling Pearls, though, even though I think they are best when they’re a bit obscure. I was always taught that obscurity, used in this fashion, makes people work their minds harder, and that’s always a good thing, so that’s what I do…. Ranting is for ME, to get that angst out of my head….. creating old-school pearls is done with the reader in mind, to entertain and challenge, hopefully mixing in a bit of humorous irony, just for flavor (it’s the chef in me…. gotta feed people, even if only their heads….).

What I’m winding up to say here is that once again, we’ll go with an old-school pearl in this section today, because I’m not going to rant, having decided to leave that off today’s menu, as explained, in no doubt excessive length, above…. So, sit on back, relax, and limber up the old gray cells, ’cause this pearl’s for you!….

“Your knowledge would be useless without my ignorance!” — gigoid (Just kidding, found it in Smart Bee…. but, I could  have said it!….)

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” — Maya Angelou

“Aristotle was famous for knowing everything.  He taught that the brain  exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.” — Will Cuppy

“The Golden Rule is of no use to you whatever unless you realize it is your move.”  — Frank Crane

“He thought he saw a Buffalo
Upon the chimney-piece:
He looked again, and found it was
His sister’s husband’s niece.
‘Unless you leave this house,’ he said,
‘I’ll send for the Police!'”

— Lewis Carroll, “Sylvie and Bruno”

There! If that isn’t inscrutable enough for you, you’ll have to look elsewhere for your curly fries…. Oh, hell, okay…. Here’s a couple more, just so nobody can complain about not getting enough information to work with….

“We are born for a higher destiny than that of earth.- There is a realm where the rainbow never fades, where the stars will spread out before us like islands that slumber on the ocean, and where the beings that pass before us like shadows, will stay in our presence forever.” — Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873)

“A string of excited, fugitive, miscellaneous pleasures is not happiness; happiness resides in imaginative reflection and judgment, when the picture of one’s life, or of human life, as it truly has been or is, satisfies the will, and is gladly accepted.” — George Santayana

Okay, if THAT isn’t enough, it’s simply too bad, because these two, in conjunction with the other five, make up a damn good set of directions for enlightenment, for those who care to follow it to its logical end…. Never tell me I never give anything away for free….
_____________________________

In keeping with today’s theme of altered parameters and distorted paradigm, I give you a poem of mine, one that I’m quite proud of, all in all, and seemed to fit in to today’s theme… or not, but, hey, it’s at least got a good message of its own….

Off the proverbial cuff….

I never meant to kill that period of time,
it didn’t give me any choice.
It tried to hem me in without reason, or rhyme,
refused me any vote, or any voice.

You have to admit, I buried it deep and fast,
just as if I cared.
I knew, though, it would never last,
or ever be fully repaired.

No news, no pictures can bring it back,
once is all we get.
No pleas of public good, or even public lack;
in stone the past is set.

Futuristic visions now occupy my dreams,
I’m ready to go on.
Look! It fills up the screen, and it gleams!
Where’s the moment I’m sitting on?

Now, I remembered, at long, long last,
is all we really can hold.
Every moment goes by so bloody fast,
we’d best fill them all with beauty, warm and bold.

~~ gigoid ~~

_____________________________

“..  I see TOILET SEATS…” — Zippy the Pinhead

More often than not, Zippy seems to show up either as the opening pearl for a group, or as the concluding pearl. He often ends up in the middle of a group, too, probably more often than anybody but Smart Bee, whose only limiting factor is whether or not Google can find out who originated an unattributed quote….

The above, for some unknown reason, (and, no, I don’t want to know….), just reached out and grabbed me, saying, “Use ME!”, and I thought to myself, “Why not?”…… I’m pretty easy about that sort of thing, as you’ve seen….. Any who, what this means is another old-school pearl, as this is just too broad a statement to use for a rant….

I suppose it could conceivably be translated into an unusual sort of metaphor for society, or the mountains of knowledge (I can see them now, forests of toilet seats, reaching off into the distance as far as the eye can see from the top of the mountain….), but, even I have my limits, thankfully. NO, instead we’ll just let SB, and Zippy, figure out what they want said, and pick out the quotes that will shine the light on that path…. I hope….

“A hard beginning maketh a good ending.” — John Heywood (c. 1565) — Proverbes, Part i, Chap. iv

“A human being is a part of the whole, called by us Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest–a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole nature in its beauty.” — Albert Einstein

“To set the mind above the appetites is the end of abstinence, which one of the Fathers observes to be, not a virtue, but the groundwork of a virtue.” — Johnson

“Freedom is meaningless unless you can give to those with whom you disagree.” — Thomas Jefferson

“Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.” — Albert Einstein

“Muddy water let stand becomes clear.” — Lao Tse

“I’m mentally OVERDRAWN!  What’s that SIGNPOST up ahead? Where’s ROD STERLING when you really need him?” — Zippy the Pinhead

Okay, pay attention, please…. Back away from the screen, and carefully put down the mouse… We ended up in a place where the slightest wrong movement could produce a head-bomb of such destructive power, it could wipe out years of preconceived notions, a circumstance for which my insurance is not nearly extensive enough, neither to cover any damages that would ensue, nor provide any needed therapy in the coming years, should someone make a mistake….

There, all safe now… Sorry, didn’t expect that, but, that’s what happens sometimes when I let Zippy have his way. I think that’s probably enough fun for one day….
_____________________________

I happen to agree…. that’s probably enough for one day, fun or not….. Let’s check it out for typos and inconsistencies…. well, typos, anyway….

I’m forced to admit, some days it just comes out better than others…. Some day, I’ll figure out how to make that true for every day. For now, though, this will do quite nicely, and right on time, too! Sans further folderol…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Diligently dancing, despite the incandescent horror…

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Ffolkes,

Shadows danced over the walls, cast by flames from the logs flickering in the ancient hearth. Savory smells of onions and meat filled the air, as the stew simmered in the pot hanging over the fire, stirred slowly by the old woman in a tattered, grey dress. Though she had lived alone for many years, she showed no surprise at the loud knock on the wooden door, only shrugging her bony shoulders as she walked across to open it. Wind and snow blew in the door, pushing into the room a huge, heavily bearded man, in grimy buckskins, carrying a long, evil rifle, and a large pack on his back.

Following the giant into the single room of the old cabin, a dire-wolf, all black, large as a small pony, eyes gleaming with intelligent ferocity, stopped in the doorway to peer behind him, into the darkness, then trotted through the door, sinking to the floor in front of the fire with a weary sigh. The wolf, glancing at the old woman, spoke, in a wheezing, gravely voice, asking, “Will they attack tonight?”……

Whoa, wait a minute, there, big fella…. attack? Where did that come from?…. Oh, hi there… and good morning. I thought I’d try my hand at another fictional opening to a story, and, all in all, I think it came out fairly well, though I have no idea from what odd corner of my brain the last line emerged. It kind of fits, though, don’t you think? I mean, it did throw in a swift change of direction, which I always find to be an interesting plot device; it always snags my attention when I read something that surprises me like that…. But, once again, it’s a story I’m not going to pursue, at least not now…. too many pearls to find and share, don’t y’know?….

Of course, this assumes there is anyone out there to read these epics, and that is not, it seems, necessarily true. It doesn’t matter, though, as I have to get this stuff out of my head, or it makes me even crazier than I already am, and that is NOT a good thing. In fact, it can get downright ugly…. and none of us wants that so early in the day, no matter what the weather is like….. The weather has been even crazier than I am lately; the naysayers who claim that global warming is a myth are being proven wrong, definitively, and completely, by the strangeness of the weather patterns, or rather, broken weather patterns, that we have been experiencing in the last month or two…..

Alaska, when we cruised there, was warm, more so than usual, according to the locals, while down here in northern California, it was sweltering, in late May, and early June… Now, for this entire month of July, the weather has been cloudy, windy, and often chilly, causing people to dress in layers as if it were the middle of winter. For the entire month, we’ve had temperatures in the 70’s, with only a couple of days of more heat than that…. People, this is JULY, in CALIFORNIA. It is ALWAYS HOT IN JULY in California…. at least, that has been my experience over the last 60 some years…. Summers are supposed to be hot, with the weather pattens in July, August, and often September, frequently climbing to temperatures in triple digits for days on end. It is almost as if we had moved north about a thousand miles, into a different climate category, due to our location in relation to the equator….

Ah well, I could go on for quite a while, cataloging all the strange new weather the world is seeing, now that the temperature of the oceans, and the planet as a whole, is rising. We, as people, aren’t doing anything that will cause that to stop anytime soon, so, we may as well get used to not knowing what the weather is going to do next…. Its’ kind of ironic, that just at that point in our history when we are finally able to predict the weather with some small degree of accuracy, we mess up our own base of knowledge by changing the rules, causing the weather to become unpredictable by any means…. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot!….

If I did go on though, y’all would accuse me of ranting in the intro again, and you’d be right in that. Rather than go through all that again, we’ll just dive in, and start the search for some pearls for today’s effort….. Besides, everybody always talks about the weather, but nobody ever DOES anything about it, at least not in a positive sense… For now, I think we should let this die an unnatural death, and get on with it…..

Shall we Pearl?…..
_____________________________

Here is an example of why I pearl…. The following seven quotes were searched out with absolutely no pre-planning. I had nothing in mind when I started, and was willing to take whatever Smart Bee came up with. What I got, obviously, was an example of Smart Bee showing off, because these quotes just fell through the cracks in my mind, to formulate a precís, a summary, as it were, of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s famous Essay on Self-Reliance, only without all the torturous twists and turns his words built into the path to wisdom… Just let your mind float, read these, and voilá, illumination!….. Enjoy!….

“It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them.” — Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

“That’s the effect of living backwards: it always makes one a little giddy at first, but there’s one great advantage in it, that one’s memory works both
ways.” — Lewis Carroll, “Through the Looking-Glass”

“I count religion but a childish toy … there is no sin but ignorance.” — Christopher Marlowe

“Did YOU find a DIGITAL WATCH in YOUR box of VELVEETA?” — Zippy the Pinhead

“Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond doubt that they are right.” — Laurens Van der Post, The Lost World of the Kalahari (1958)

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” — Krishnamurti

“Thus it is said that one who knows the enemy and knows himself will not be endangered in a hundred engagements.” — Sun Tzu

I rest my case….
_____________________________

“Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.” — G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936)

This observation, fortunately, includes myself…. as will be seen by the following two poems of mine. The haiku was written during the poetry challenge earlier this year, in April; the other is from sometime in 2012…..

Haiku II

An inner light glows
shining out of open eyes;
madness or wisdom?

~~ gigoid ~~

Raging at Aging

As old as you feel, we are told, is old as you are,
custom assures such vision will carry us far.
Reality begs to differ, may it be so bold
it is really quite painful, and very, very cold.

The power and strength felt in our halcyon youth
desert us with age, yet another unwelcome truth.
Irony rules our time here on this bountiful earth
as we reflect the changes over time since our birth.

As physical powers fade from this fragile shell,
we learn our mind can serve us quite as well.
The strength that once filled our bones and hearts
is now applied by our will, to more arcane arts.

Life’s greatest gift is our freedom of choice
no matter how often we forget, we still get a voice.
Energy, or apathy, by our will we may choose,
failing to do so, our only way to lose.

Each of us lives in the grip of time and space,
always seeking our balance, our own chosen place.
One must accept reality, for it is true at the core,
all we can do, is all we can do, and nothing more.

~~ gigoid ~~

_____________________________

“One should seek virtue for its own sake and not from hope or fear, or any external motive. It is in virtue that happiness consists, for virtue is the state of mind which tends to make the whole of life harmonious.” — Diogenes Laertius (c. 200 AD) — Zeno, (B.C. 335?-264), liii

Sounds simple, eh? Scholar Laertius has put his thumb print squarely on what I see as the basic flaw in human nature, the one characteristic that will eventually lead us to perdition, if not extinction. Every day, every minute, mankind, as a whole, and as individuals, are presented with a choice of actions, some of which are virtuous in nature, and others that are not…. These actions are chosen by each individual according to their own degree of virtue, or, more simply, they choose what to do according to what they believe…. What they choose to embrace as their life’s viewpoint will generally determine the nature of their choices, whether it is virtuous, or not….

I could rant about this; I do so frequently. Today, though, rather than rant, which just doesn’t seem to fit my mood this morning, I’ve put together a group of pearls that speak to this subject, at least peripherally…. Taken together, they poke a stick at the eye of humanity, trying to turn the mob back from the edge of extinction….

“The moral test of government is how it treats those who are in the dawn of life — the children; those who are in the twilight of life — the aged; and those who are in the shadows of life — the sick, the needy and the handicapped.” — Hubert Humphrey

“Virtue is that perfect good which is the complement of a happy life; the only immortal thing that belongs to mortality.” — Seneca (B.C. 3-65 A.D.)

“I have a feeling that at any time about three million Americans can be had for any militant reaction against law, decency, the Constitution, the Supreme Court, compassion and the rule of reason.” — John Kenneth Galbraith

“I’m just hoping that one day the sheep will realize that the shepherd is really a wolf in disguise.” — Sanjay Singh

“Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.” — Elbert Hubbard

To produce things and to rear them,
To produce, but not to take possession of them,
To act, but not to rely on one’s own ability.
To lead them, but not to master them –
This is called profound and secret virtue.

— Lao-Tzu (fl. B.C. 600)

“Make no mistake: the weeds will win.  Nature bats last.” — Robert Pyle
_____________________________

At the end of each day’s Pearl, I try to measure, if I can, how it might be received by the Gentle Readers…. I have to point out, however, that I am handicapped in these assessments, by having to do so using my own viewpoint, which rather scotches the whole concept of judging it objectively. This may explain the lack of Likes, quite plainly, so I’m going to just forget the whole issue, and just get on with it…. Let’s see now…..

Days such as today tend to keep this process alive, reminding me that I do this to stay sane, not to win prizes… It’s all strange, and a little bit obscure, but, all in all, I think it’s pretty good, for all that it is an exercise in singing to the choir (regarding the danger of extinction; I think most of my readers will agree with my assessment… If not, they’re not saying so…). Nonetheless, I like it, so, it stays, or rather, goes…. And, so do I….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

They’ve pardoned all the equestrians….

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Ffolkes,

Did you ever have the feeling you’re stuck living in a Credence Clearwater Revival song? This morning, when I sat up, an old song of theirs popped into my head, first thing, and the lyric line “Oh Lord, stuck in Lodi, again…” is now playing over and over in my mind’s ear….. It wouldn’t be too bad, as it isn’t a bad song, but it won’t stop repeating that one line, endlessly….. Having been stuck in Lodi myself a time or two (I once had a girlfriend whose home town was in the hills above Lodi, in a little town in the Sierra Madre foothills, called Angel’s Camp….), I can attest that it isn’t the kind of place where one wants to spend a lot of time…. just another hick town in the boonies of California, whose residents didn’t even like John Fogarty….

You probably wonder how I can be so callous toward what is probably a group of nice folks, dismissing them offhand in such a cavalier fashion, not caring what my words may imply about innocent people…. Well, ffolkes, it’s called literary license, and is commonly used in literature to set up a joke, just like I did above. Of course, it is generally used to set up a joke that contains more than a mere dram of humor, but, one has to go with what is on hand, yes? I’m afraid that at this time of the morning, before coffee has worked its magic, that is about as humorous as it gets around here…. If I wanted to be really funny, I’d wait until the coffee kicked in, but I was trying to save a little time, and this is what happens…. I should know better than to try a short cut so early…

Is this stilted? Too formal sounding? It seems that way to me…. Of course, that’s me, and I’m not the best judge of what is appropriate at this time of day. I do try to keep from getting overly pedantic too early, but, that’s fairly easy, as it merely means keeping myself from ranting first thing… It’s the outrage that fuels such vituperation, which makes me feel all righteous and moral, which turns me into a pompous fool, a state that giving in to  righteous morality will always put me…. I don’t know why, but being angry at the immorality I see causes me to turn into a prig, at least from a writing standpoint…. Something about the formality of presenting logical arguments, and discussing serious subjects that makes it hard to stay casual in my writing style, or in my approach….. Probably, if I’d just break down and be vulgar, it would flow better…. Fuck it, I’ll try it…. eventually….

That isn’t to say that my style is always pedantic and pompous…. Hell, I’d have a hard time classifying my writing into any single category, as it tends to go all over the map, chasing off after tangential ideas, or attempting to follow some train of thought, as suggested by a group of old-school pearls. But, I do get pretty serious at times, especially when I’m ranting about the political or religious scenes we see every day, and have then a tendency to turn into a pompous old bozo…. An accurate one, but a bozo, nonetheless….

Once again, I’ve managed to blather on to such a degree as to find myself at the end of the intro section, without ever really saying anything useful, or even relatively coherent, at all…. I gotta say, it’s much less stressful when I let myself wander like this, without worrying overmuch about where it is going, or whether it is an appropriate start to the day’s effort…. Just letting it flow out seems to be getting it done, though not necessarily with any panache…. One mustn’t expect miracles, I guess, but, at least I’m not agonizing over something that seems to be unresolvable by ordinary means…. Since anything more than ordinary is too much to expect at this hour, I’m happy with whatever happens….. plus, it’s less fattening, or, so they claim…

Shall we Pearl?…..
_____________________________

It looks as though ranting may not be feasible today…. I just found a great quote, one that will eventually give me the impetus for a fairly good-sized rant on human nature, and the flaws that nature exhibits…. but, not today. I put the quote in place, and even got a decent first paragraph started, then started giggling, for some unknown, and apparently, uncontrollable reason…. I guess my spirit is rejecting all attempts to be serious today; sometimes, guys just wanna have fun, too. So, I’ll be putting together an old-school pearl, using the premise of the now-defunct rant I had begun, but, with an eye toward causing mirth rather than outrage…. Let’s see how it goes….

“Kids toot or poot. Men fart. Women pass wind. And Ladies never, EVER have gas.” — Smart Bee

Listen to the MUSTN’TS child,
Listen to the DON’TS
Listen to the SHOULDN’TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON’TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVE’S
Then listen close to me-
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be.

— Shel Silverstein

“What do you call a short psychic who escapes from prison? A small medium at large.” — Smart Bee

“Is consciousness just a special form of hallucination?” — Frank Herbert

(Okay, so, not so funny, but, hey, it could be, if we put some makeup on it….)
(It’s also an interesting idea to contemplate as truth….)
(Hmm… If it IS truth, it would explain a lot of stuff about Congress, wouldn’t it?….)

“The SAME WAVE keeps coming in and COLLAPSING like a rayon MUU-MUU..” — Zippy the Pinhead

Okay, well, that’s just about perfect, for a five-star pearl, but I see it’s a bit dense…. Rather impenetrable, actually, so I’ll add a couple of clarification quotes….

“I don’t care what is written about me so long as it isn’t true.” — Dorothy Parker

“About them unfinished sentences and what they should be. And them subjects and objects which ought. Never no way should they not. Sometimes it is that they are and other times they aren’t. I took the Evelyn Woods Speed Reading Course and don’t know where I put it. Anyway, a sentence should always be.” — Smart Bee

Well, I don’t believe I can make it any clearer than that…. If it still isn’t gelling for you, don’t fret, it won’t be on the Quiz…..
_____________________________

Happy who in his verse can gently steer
From grave to light, from pleasant to severe.

— Nicholas Boileau-Despreaux (1636-1711) — The Art of Poetry, Canto i, Line 75

Aye, happy indeed, would he be…. Nothing new leaking out of my head so far today, so, we’ll go classic….

A Bard’s Epitaph

Is there a whim-inspired fool,
Owre fast for thought, owre hot for rule,
Owre blate to seek, owre proud to snool,
Let him draw near;
And owre this grassy heap sing dool,
And drap a tear.

Is there a bard of rustic song,
Who, noteless, steals the crowds among,
That weekly this area throng,
O, pass not by!
But, with a frater-feeling strong,
Here, heave a sigh.

Is there a man, whose judgment clear
Can others teach the course to steer,
Yet runs, himself, life’s mad career,
Wild as the wave,
Here pause-and, thro’ the starting tear,
Survey this grave.

The poor inhabitant below
Was quick to learn the wise to know,
And keenly felt the friendly glow,
And softer flame;
But thoughtless follies laid him low,
And stain’d his name!

Reader, attend! whether thy soul
Soars fancy’s flights beyond the pole,
Or darkling grubs this earthly hole,
In low pursuit:
Know, prudent, cautious, self-control
Is wisdom’s root.

~~ Robert Burns ~~

_____________________________

“A heart is not judged by how much you love but by how much you are loved by others.” — The Wizard of Oz

I spend a lot of time addressing what I call a flaw in human nature, without ever completely putting my finger exactly on the point I’m seeking to grasp, or to have y’all grasp, whatever… The point is, this flaw is one of choice, one that each person must decide within themselves, about how they will view life, and how they will approach living, especially concerning how they live with others, including animals, and our planet at large, which needs to be considered in any question of survival as a species. I see the flaw as most obvious in those people who end up in positions of authority, but it is a flaw that all of us have, to some degree, that concerns me, because it is the one that will ultimately seal our fate, as individuals, and as a species….

The above quote can be considered as the diametric opposite of the flaw, as it manifests in us. If one holds the above as true, then acting in a manner that will cause any loss or pain to another would be acting against that belief. In order to take advantage of another person, or thing, a human must first view that person, or thing, as being less important than they themselves consider themselves to be, by whatever standards are applied. By doing so, it objectifies the person, or animal, making it easier to detach emotions from anything done to them… In short, these people, who exhibit the flaw of choosing self over not-self, in all situations, consciously and deliberately decide to cause harm to others in order to achieve their own ends, and don’t feel any compunction, or guilt, about doing so, as they feel justified, by whatever rationalizations they have adopted….

This ability to disconnect from others is one of the most common features one observes in those people who make politics a career…. It is also commonly seen in certain professions, which, because of the key importance to people who need their services, tend to attract this type of personality, as such jobs offer many opportunities to take advantage of other people’s misery and trouble…. professions such as lawyer, preacher, doctor, judge, or any other areas that provide key services to people, that deal with situations that affect their lives and well-being…. These professions all provide sociopathic personalities with ample opportunities to carry out their agendas in life, which are focused on increasing their own control of resources, and power over other people….

Over time, these folks have gotten very good at what they do, and the whole world is now organized in such a way that almost everyone accepts the idea that there is no other better way to do things than the way they are being done… Any ideas to the contrary are either buried by those in positions of authority, or are ignored, or made superfluous by the construction of imaginary enemies…. Every time I hear from a government official that I should be afraid of someone who wants to kill us, or take away our rights and homes, I start to wonder just what it is they are trying to distract me from thinking about, or paying attention to….

You see, I make the automatic assumption, when ANY government source speaks, whether an elected official, or an official spokesperson, that that person is lying to me…. If the lies are not directly untrue material, then the lie is in what is NOT said, or in what is behind whatever they are speaking of, which, I always assume, means little or nothing beyond its intent to distract or befuddle me. Once that assumption is made, that the truth is not being told, then it becomes much easier to determine just what it is they are trying to do…. and, I find that what I see is never to the advantage of the public….

“DON’T STEAL – The government hates competition.” — Smart Bee

Actually, this sounds as if George Carlin might have said it; I know he had a short comment on why one couldn’t have the Ten Commandments displayed in courthouses; he believed it was because you couldn’t have all those exhortations against lying, cheating, and stealing around so many politicians and lawyers, as it would make for an uncomfortable work environment…. He saw exactly what I am talking about in society, and pointed it out clearly, and with sublime sarcasm, for all of us to see…..

Unfortunately, most folks don’t realize how close to the truth all of his assertions were, any more than most people know that the government lies to them on a regular basis, often, it seems, just to keep in practice. For those of us who DO see what is going on, it gets to be a challenge not to go around just slapping people left and right…. but, that doesn’t make any friends, and can lead to jail time if one isn’t careful…. Besides, nobody listens anyway, and even a two-by-four won’t make someone listen, if they don’t want to…..

I guess the Firesign Theater had it right, when they claimed we are all Bozos on this Bus….. It’s too bad that only clowns and comedians are the ones who seem to know what is going on in the world, because nobody votes for the clowns…. Hmm…. maybe we could get some of the comedians to run for office?…. It’s worth a shot…..

“He who laughs, lasts.” — Mary Pettibone Poole
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I feel better, even if I already know I’m shouting into the wind…. and, that’s what this blogging is all about, for me. If the NSA don’t like it, fuck ’em…. Assholes….(Occasionally, I am influenced by an imp, sometimes dangerously…. Today, he advises me that if I really want to grab the attention of the NSA, I should put the two words together, so they can’t miss the allusion…. which, I think, is brilliant, so, here…. NSA-Assholes….)

I have a feeling I’ll be ranting more in the next few days; some of the stuff I’m seeing in the news is disturbing my equilibrium, and I’m going to have to vent some of it, so, be warned…. Let’s see how today’s effort came out…..  I guess I I ended up in a state where I COULD be serious, but, at least I tied in the humorous aspects of the serious material…. Not too shabby, all in all, and certainly worth a moment or two of anyone’s time and mental energy…. Well, I think so, and that’s what counts for this purpose, if not for yours….

Don’t worry, none of what you’ve read today is toxic, unless, of course, you are heavily invested in maintaining that all is right with the world…. You Pollyanna, you…. Take that!… And, that!…. Oh, sorry, got carried away by the urge to be in a cartoon…. I suppose I’d best be going now….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Precious memories of bizarre telegrams….

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2

Ffolkes,

I’m a little confused, and though that isn’t anything new and different, it is unusual in the sense that I don’t often get this way without good reason. The reason today has to do with how yesterday’s Pearl came out, and how it was apparently received by readers….. As I’ve stated, the number of Likes I receive isn’t important to me, as long as I know I’ve written a good Pearl, because this is therapy for me, not connected to how well it goes over, just how well I feel about the content, and how getting it out of my head has helped…. No, I just don’t get the patterns that statistics show about site usage, and what those show about the number of visitors and readers….

The two short little blurb blogs I wrote day before yesterday, and the day before that, which were just short pieces explaining that I wouldn’t be writing those days, both got way more readers, and Likes, than yesterday’s massive effort, wherein I wrote over 3000 words, all tearing my heart out, to rant against some of my favorite targets, and produce a new, fresh poem, one I thought was quite good….It is possibly the best Pearl I’ve written in over a year, yet, only four readers stopped by to peruse it in the first 24 hours it was up, at least, according to the Likes…. Not that I blame Murphy, or anything like that…. of course not….

SIGH…. Oh well, I guess I’ll never understand how it works, and I’m not going to lose any sleep over it, that’s for sure…. Three of the four who stopped in, Willow, Ashi Akira, and Lou, are perhaps the most regular of my readers, as well as three of my favorite blogs to read, and it’s always nice to see them, so I do appreciate that…

Today’s effort is liable to be of lesser degree, at least of quantity; keeping high quality will remain as a priority. Of course, that doesn’t factor in the Murphological aspects of the morning, which have yet to be revealed to me; I’m sure he has something planned to screw with me, but, so far, he’s holding back on it, letting the anticipation build, and trying to get me to let down my guard…. Little does he know that my guard, in respect to his assholishness, is never let down, as I’ve had too many examples of what happens when I let it get sloppy….. Of course, he wins anyway, but, I’m always ready for it….

Hmm…. Spell Checker doesn’t seem to like the words I’m making up today, but, that’s okay, I don’t much like it, either…. It’s often wrong, and has no sense of humor at all…. Besides, I like the words I made up, so, it will just have to deal with it…. I don’t give a shit about what Murphy himself thinks about them; his actions toward me, and everyone else, over the years has earned him NONE of my respect, and he’ll just have to learn to live without it, for he’ll never have it….. Any more than a God would have it, as long as they claim to be responsible for the mess they’ve created and left us sitting in here….. Sorry, didn’t mean to slip up in the intro….. I’ll save the ranting for later, if needed…..

I’ve once again managed to blather my way through five or six paragraphs of sheer twaddle; if I didn’t know better, I’d think this was getting easier…. But, that is an illusion, I know, one that is designed to lure me in and lull me into a false sense of security, before once again dumping me into a situation with no clear resolution to be seen…. You see, I do know Murphy!…. He’s out there, just waiting for me to relax, then, POW!…. Right upside the head…. We’ll go on now, but, keep your eyes and ears open, ffolkes, it could get ugly today….

Shall we Pearl?…..
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I ranted so long yesterday, there isn’t much left in there today that is worth bringing out for discussion…. Besides, I did manage to say most of what I had to say, so repeating it today would be silly, not to mention boring…. So, we’ll go old-school, and let Smart Bee pick out some fine little gems for our consideration, and see what they have to tell us today…..

“After the lawyers are all dead, kill the Politicians!” — Smart Bee

This is perhaps the best summation possible of what I ranted yesterday in this section; short, sweet, and to the point. It does overlook, however, a simple point, and that is, if you kill all the lawyers, you will already have eliminated the politicians, as practically all of them are lawyers, anyway…. Shoot all the lawyers, and there won’t be many politicians left to target….  Sorry, couldn’t resist, after yesterday’s rant…. Okay, now we’ll let SB pick ’em, and see what’s what….

“The field cannot well be seen from within the field” — Emerson

“It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.” — H.L. Mencken

“A good question is never answered.  It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of idea.” — John Ciardi

“The rancher strings barbed wire across the range, drills wells and bulldozes stock ponds everywhere, drives off the elk and antelope and bighorn sheep, poisons coyotes and prairie dogs, shoots eagle and bear and cougar on sight, supplants the native bluestem and grama grass with tumbleweed, cow shit, cheat grass, snakeweed, anthills, poverty weed, mud and dust and flies–and then leans back and smiles broadly at the Tee Vee cameras and tells us how much he loves the West.” — Edward Abbey

“Ideals are like stars: you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafarer on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them you reach your destiny.” — Carl Schurz

“If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind!  The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe, the speculum of all creation.” — Chuang Tzu

At this point, it would be well for me to stop and point out the danger of going forward from here…. I see that SB has allowed Murphy to lay a trap for us, but, thanks to being alerted, as noted in the intro, y’all were saved from having the rest of your day ruined by an intellectual meltdown…. If we took the next step indicated by the above group of pearls, our brains would seize up, just like an old motor with no oil, and we’d be stuck in that limbo until found by neighbors and rescued, or buried and waked… So, I will apply the correct antidote here, by giving you, NOT the quote that SB, and hence, Murphy, had picked out for you, but, instead, one that my own sense of whimsy provided, instinctively…. Whew! My insurance agent would have been really pissed!….

“We place two copies of PEOPLE magazine in a DARK, HUMID mobile home.  45 minutes later CYNDI LAUPER emerges wearing a BIRD CAGE on her head!” — Zippy the Pinhead

There!… Saved by the Zip-man, again!…..
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My body is feeling its age today…. As I noted yesterday at one point (in my head), if I were a NASCAR aficionado, I could say that “my trans axle is gettin’ a little gritty”, and everyone would know what I meant…. But, since I have no idea what that actually means, I’ll just say that my back and hips, where they join together, is experiencing some age-related stiffness today, and leave it at that…. Now, however, since I’ve again shared more than anyone could conceivably wish to know, I don’t have to explain why this poem is here today, or why it is one of my favorites….

The Little Boy And The Old Man

Said the little boy, “Sometimes I drop my spoon.”
Said the old man, “I do that too.”
The little boy whispered, “I wet my pants.”
“I do that too,” laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, “I often cry.”
The old man nodded, “So do I.”
“But worst of all,” said the boy, “it seems
Grown-ups don’t pay attention to me.”
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
“I know what you mean,” said the little old man.

~~ Shel Silverstein ~~

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There I was, muddling along, minding my own, trying to think of a rantable subject, when a random thought intruded into my consciousness…. Since it was in some foreign language I didn’t recognize, and thus do not speak, it was only mildly upsetting; if I knew what it said, it might have frightened me….. However, since I was in the vicinity, I went ahead and allowed myself to go a bit mad, and used that state of mind to go a’hunting for pearls…. Here is what I found, while the rest of my mind, apparently, was avoiding ranting….

“Philosophy, means, first, doubt; and afterwards the consciousness of what knowledge means, the consciousness of uncertainty and of ignorance, the consciousness of limit, shade, degree, possibility. The ordinary man doubts nothing and suspects nothing.” — Henri Frederick Amiel

How lov’d, how honour’d once avails thee not,
To whom related, or by whom begot;
A heap of dust alone remains of thee:
‘T is all thou art, and all the proud shall be!

— Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — To the Memory of an Unfortunate Lady, Line 71

“Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” — Smart Bee

“Every time history repeats itself the prices go up.” — Peter’s Observation on History

“It [the Bible] is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies.” — Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) (1835-1910) — Letters from the Earth (1905-1909)

“Wherever your journey takes you, there are new gods waiting there, with divine patience – and laughter.” — Smart Bee

Okay, so whimsy can only take me so far…. I couldn’t decide which of these two gems should grace the final position for today’s final pearl, so, I’m putting both of them up, and you can use the one you like…. I did… or will, depending on your point of view….

The camel has a single hump;
The dromedary two;
Or else the other way around.
I’m never sure.  Are you?

— Ogden Nash (1902-1971)

“It takes a smart man to know when he’s stupid.” — Barney Rubble, “The Flintstones”
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“The art of being a good guest is knowing when to leave.” — Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh

I would suppose that someone of Prince Philip’s cache would know about good manners, having had them bred into him for several thousand generations…. along with tendencies toward being bloodthirsty, mercurial, prone to treachery, and a dozen other nasty characteristics that are common in the English aristocracy…. You could never say that the English kings were impolite when committing their chicanery; they lopped off heads with great charm and politeness, and never a harsh word…. Any who, I find the Prince’s statement a good one for ending today’s mess, such as it is…. You may have noted my reluctance to rant, after yesterday’s massive outburst… I’m afraid of what I might find in there… Let’s see how today’s journey went….

Okay, well, I like it, but, then, you know me…. always ready to give myself a break. If I don’t, who will?…. At any rate, it’s done for the day, and I can go on to finding new and better ways to laze about without purpose…. Or, I can get the laundry done…. Any bets on which one happens?….  I thought not…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3