We’ll tantalize them with caramelized onions….

La tabula rasa. The blank slate. Such is my mind today, as I gaze with hopeless longing at the empty screen. I’ve stared, and stared. I’ve torn at my hair. I’ve jumped up, spun around, and rattled the bones. I’ve cast the sticks, and I’ve sacrificed a chicken. I opened up two different veins. I’ve even broken down and prayed. And nothing….. there isn’t anything in there. Not a joke, or a story, not a poem or haiku. Nada. Zip. Zilch. I feel like a bloody Republican, (or a Democrat…equal opportunity bashing here….), you know “head’s all empty, and I don’t care”…..

Okay, so that last one was cruel. You’re probably right, I shouldn’t pick on them. Even though they deserve it, it is probably bad for MY karmic burden, which is, no doubt, already weighted heavily on the wrong side. But, what’s a guy to do? I can’t find any inspiration anywhere, and there are people out there panting for their morning Pearl….. Well, perhaps not. I have to keep telling myself that, or I’d give up. After all, it’s not as if I’m doing this because the money is so good,  is it? No, it’s not….

Now that I have established myself in your minds as completely nuts, I think it might be a good thing if we just went and started pearling. If I stick around this intro much longer, I’m going to start pulling out what little hair I have left. Good grief, the way I feel this morning, this could conceivably turn into a MUSICAL, and we’ll all burst into song! To avoid that, we will now dive in & start our search for material…. shall we Pearl?…..

“My face is new, my license is expired, and I’m under a doctor’s care!!!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

Sometimes Zippy just hits the nail right on the head! This is EXACTLY how I feel today, though I couldn’t say why this is so. My sleeping schedule has gotten really messed up, for some reason probably known only to my subconscious mind. The last two days, I’ve laid down to nap for a couple hours, and ended up sleeping for five hours, waking up just in time to go back to bed. So, I’ve ended up staying up late, which makes me get up later, etc.  Add in my normal degree of insanity, some hunger pangs, and tobacco withdrawal symptoms, and what you end up with is one seriously funky attitude….

Now, funky is a question begging term, but in this case it happens to be precisely the right word to describe my mental state. I’m reminded of an old Tower of Power song, “I’m funky, but I’m clean!”. Of course, I’m not clean yet…. I shower after the morning Pearl, so I guess that makes me 100% funky. Yay…..

I know this is cheating. I know I’m just stalling, trying to fill up column inches with prattle and nonsense. I suppose I’ll have to justify all this by actually creating something….. SIGH…. okay, I’ll try that…..

Morning Pearls

Such mornings as these
chase away my dreams of light.
I won’t cry again.


That will have to do, for the nonce…..

“History does not record anywhere at any time a religion that has any rational basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help. But, like dandruff, most people do have a religion and spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it.” — Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love (1972)

There are many folks out there who, when reading my material for the first time, might get the impression that I am an atheist, and an anarchist. The stuff I write would tend to give that impression, I have no doubt. But, it really isn’t the case, and just goes to show that not everything is always as it seems…..

I’m not an atheist, at least not in a classical sense. I would more accurately be described as agnostic, as I believe strongly in a spiritual component in the universe. But, the very concept of omnipotence, and omniscience, implies that one cannot define God, or whatever entity one considers to be the ultimate authority. A finite mind cannot comprehend an infinite mind; anything we can imagine cannot, by definition, be accurate or complete, as our minds are not infinite in scope.

It could be said that our imagination IS infinite. We can, at the very least, comprehend the concept of infinity, even if we cannot touch it, or see it, or count that high. But, to actually think that what we imagine about God is the same as reality is not only arrogant, it is foolish. Yet a large percentage of the human race not only believes they know what God looks like (ironically, God always looks like the folks who are claiming Him as their deity….), but that they know what He wants. To my way of thinking, this is sheer self-aggrandizement, and unjustifiably arrogant….

I suppose it helps them in dealing with the everyday stresses of life to think that they are special. To think they are beloved of God, and what they do is important to Him. This sense of belonging is important to a lot of folks, due I think, to their own fears about their ability to deal with reality as it exists. It gives them a sense of entitlement, and justifies their actions, no matter how immoral or unethical they may be. It allows them to act upon their impulses without restraint, to lie, to cheat, to steal, all in the name of the Lord. And, if they should happen to feel a tiny shred of guilt about what they are doing to other folks, why, they just confess their sins to Jesus, and all is forgiven!….

Sorry, folks, but I could never buy into the whole scenario, from my earliest days. All of my experience, and all of my reasoning have led me to a different view of reality than what is described by any religion. I have observed the behavior of most people of a religious bent to be, as a rule, hypocritical, cruel, bigoted, racist, and, for the most part, unrelated to any moral or ethical system of any depth. The most religious in society go so far as to threaten violence toward anyone who disagrees with their beliefs, justified by their own self-proclaimed right to spew their hatred on anyone who differs.

I believe in compassion and kindness. I believe in love. I believe in protecting the vulnerable, and helping the less fortunate. I believe in beauty. And, I believe in reality, whatever that may be; it’s purely subjective for the most part. I DON’T believe in the divinity of Jesus, or Buddha, or Lao Tzu, or Mohammad, or any other religious prophet. I don’t believe there is some white haired, bearded old guy sitting on a throne of gold up in the sky somewhere, looking down and getting his pants in a bunch because I didn’t salute his graven image first thing after I got up.

That whole graven image thing, and the idea that God wants, or needs, our worship has always been a thorn in my side. I mean, can’t these zealots understand the irony of worshiping an image of Christ on the cross? Don’t they know that the cross is a graven image? And why would an omnipotent being need MY worship? It makes no sense. None. I cannot imagine of ANY reason for a God to care at all about such petty bullshit; I don’t care to be worshiped, why should He? Having someone act that way toward me makes me uncomfortable, so I can’t see why a God would even want to go there. What purpose does it serve?

Well, one of my computer alarms just went off, and made me realize I was ranting, which I had not started out to do. I think y’all can get the gist of my arguments by this time, and those who are in disagreement with what I’ve written aren’t going to be persuaded away from their long-held delusions by my words, so further soliloquy would be futile.

I’ll just finish by saying this….. until Mankind grows up enough to be able to put aside the crutch of religion, and learns to stand up to reality as it exists, without the delusional imaginary friend to intercede on their behalf with the universe, then our path to extinction will remain clear…. It’s too bad really, because our species shows a lot of promise…. it’s too bad we will never be allowed to explore our limits as an adult species, because we will have killed ourselves off before we ever got out of childhood….

The cricket sang,
And set the sun,
And workmen finished, one by one,
Their seam the day upon.

The low grass loaded with the dew,
The twilight stood as strangers do
With hat in hand, polite and new,
To stay as if, or go.

A vastness, as a neighbor, came,–
A wisdom without face or name,
A peace, as hemispheres at home,–
And so the night became.

Emily Dickinson

No comments required…. just enjoy!….

So, some folks might say it was cheating, but I don’t think so, and I’m the only one here, so…. thus we get through another fine morning, hopefully with some panache. If not, well, there’s always tomorrow…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.