Plotting with obscene barristers …..

Ffolkes,

Insofar as we ever have them around this blog, a typical day starts off with my staring at the screen of my computer, desperately searching through my brain for something coherent to say…. it seems today is a typical day, despite having a brain chock full of recent memories from which to choose. So full, I suppose, it makes the choosing of one over another difficult, as they are all quite appropriate and/or immediate, and equally enjoyable for me to recall. Luckily, today is not the only day I have to make the choice, merely the one we are caught in, destined to remain until the next one comes along….

Well, I see my time away hasn’t altered my pomposity a whit, nor has it dulled my skill at saying absolutely nothing with far too many words…. SIGH….. There are moments in this writing business when I begin to understand a little better the motivation those people who used to (and, I guess, still do….) flagellate themselves, whipping themselves with sticks, or reeds, or farm implements of one sort or another, until their backs are bowed and bloody…. They do it, I believe, to punish themselves for their sinful natures, or some such convoluted reason some preacher told them, while I only consider it as a sort of behavioral tool, kind of like one uses with a recalcitrant donkey, otherwise known as an ass….. Either way, I don’t suppose it’s the most intelligent procedure mankind has come up with, so I always pass on adopting it for personal use.

Something must be done, though…. I’m tired of spending so much mental energy trying to figure this out in the mornings, and need to find a way to shorten the process of introducing each Pearl for daily consumption, or whatever it is one does with one’s Pearl…. I’ve always left that up to the Gentle Reader, and have never inquired…. My life in the Big Blue Room is becoming a bit more complicated, now that I have a partner; I need to be able to complete this in a timely fashion, so I can go deal with reality while it is open for business, from 9 to 5, generally…..

I have to laugh at this point…. which I just did….. I’m sitting here, blithely typing away, when it occurs to me that this sort of babble is the most common result of my morning expostulations, and may just be the answer I seek…. Hmmm… new possibilities are coming into view, and I’ll need to look at them closely…. but, later. For now, I’ve noticed that this pile of drivel has grown to the point where I can call it sufficient unto the day’s need…. for which you may be eternally grateful, as am I…..

Shall we Pearl?…..

“I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is.” — Alan Watts
_____________________________

At first, when the following pearl began to formulate itself, I was quite pleased… It got away from me a bit, but then, with the final line, brought it all into perfect focus, if no less esoterically obscure in concept. In other words, it is a random pearl, with a message all its own…. I like it, anyway, so here you go….

“All our knowledge has its origins in our perceptions.” — Leonardo da Vinci

“Besides learning to see, there is another act to be learned — not to see what is not.” — Maria Mitchell

“Don’t follow in my footsteps. I think I stepped in something.” — Smart Bee, speaking for gigoid

“The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.” — Cicero

“The universe is _intensely_ beautiful.” — Smart Bee

Tweedledum and Tweedledee
Agreed to have a battle;
For Tweedledum said Tweedledee
Had spoilt his nice new rattle.

Just then flew down a monstrous crow,
As black as a tar-barrel;
Which frightened both the heroes so,
They quite forgot their quarrel.

— Lewis Carroll, “Through the Looking-Glass”

“What do they call a comedian who doesn’t get any laughs? A philosopher.” — Phil Proctor
_____________________________

Hell is the place of those who have denied;
They find there what they planted and what dug,
A Lake of Spaces, and a Wood of Nothing,
And wander there and drift, and never cease
Wailing for substance.

— William Butler Yeats, Responsibilities and Other Poems (1916).The Hour-Glass

My own urge to poem is still dormant, and it is something I daren’t push, lest it disappear altogether again for another 25 years….. I’m not sure I have that long to wait, though I certainly hope so…. To sublimate my own urge, I’ll go to the classics, always a favorite….

Church And State

HERE is fresh matter, poet,
Matter for old age meet;
Might of the Church and the State,
Their mobs put under their feet.
O but heart’s wine shall run pure,
Mind’s bread grow sweet.
That were a cowardly song,
Wander in dreams no more;
What if the Church and the State
Are the mob that howls at the door!
Wine shall run thick to the end,
Bread taste sour.

~~ William Butler Yeats ~~

_____________________________

Icy Point Strait is a new stop on the cruise ship itineraries, with no real docking facilities, so the ship anchors a few hundred yards offshore, ferrying visitors to land with tenders, holding about 100 folks of all ages and sizes at a time. It is very sparsely developed as yet, with only about forty-eleven gift shops, a native theater, and two food outlets, all housed in a couple of brand new looking buildings clustered near the small wharf where the passengers unload the tenders to come ashore.

The shops are filled with all the usual tourist items; t-shirts, caps, scarves, etc. with logos of the local attractions; native crafts, art, and artifacts; jewelry; one counter style restaurant serves reindeer chili and lots of salmon dishes, smoked or otherwise, and there is a bar and grill restaurant at the end of the zip-line, which runs from a small mountaintop nearby, about a quarter mile, down to the shore. A shuttle to nearby Hoonah, an “authentic Alaskan village”, runs every few minutes, to allow the visitors to experience the local amenities, such as the charming “unpaved roads and no stoplights” (direct quote from the shipboard information sheet)….

Shore excursions to go ziplining, searching for bears to photograph, or catch & barbecue salmon were popular for some (it is salmon spawning season, so the rivers are full of big, hungry fish), while others got on another boat to go watch whales in a nearby area where they tend to congregate. As a foodie, chef, and plain and simple glutton, I was compelled, naturally, to put myself through the ordeal of wading through the crowds, so as to be able to say I had tried the reindeer chili. Thus, milady and I bundled up (the weather was a bit overcast, though it only showered for a few minutes, and, as always up there, a bit cold when caught out in the wind…..), braved the crowds on the little boats for the five minute ride to land, and went to see what there was to see….

An hour and a half later, we had seen EVERYTHING, except the zipline, bears, and whales…. We even saw the salmon, as they were jumping out of the water near the cruise ship all day, on their way to the spawning streams…. It is a beautiful place, for sure, and some day will probably be home to resorts and winter sports venues galore, but currently, about the biggest thrill available is strapping onto a metal chair to slide a quarter of a mile down the side of a small mountain at about a hundred miles an hour on a zip line….. not my kind of activity….. Aside from having vertigo, which would make it very hard to even get me up there in the first place, I think I’d prefer to partake of that particular variety of fun a bit closer to a medical facility, in case of, well, zlip ups (sorry, couldn’t resist….).

Below are pictures of Icy Point, a fairly accurate account of what we saw, in the order we saw it, minus the shops and stuff…. Hope I was able to capture at least some of the beauty of the landscape…. it is indeed a gorgeous environment in which to live, if one likes snow, and the frontier life….
Alaska Grand Adventure 043 Alaska Grand Adventure 045 Alaska Grand Adventure 048 Alaska Grand Adventure 049 Alaska Grand Adventure 052
You may have noted that I didn’t say anything further about the chili, which was the ostensible reason for going ashore…. Final verdict: it was tasty, but, not exceptionally so, and wouldn’t constitute a compelling reason for going back there, just for that….
_____________________________

Well, that was harder than I had thought it would be, but, once again, I lived through it, and so will you, I believe…. Hopefully, today’s outburst  isn’t too onerous of a read for y’all…. After this long around here, you should be tough enough for almost anything, right? Any who, let’s see how it looks…..  Okay, okay, it’ll do…. I think…. Well, it will have to do, because I need to get it posted and get on with the day….. I hope y’all enjoyed today’s little catastrophe…..  🙂   Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

A prodigal child no more…

Ffolkes,

There are possibly a number of y’all out there who might be wondering just what the hell happened to me. The last post on this blog was put up 10 full days ago, along with a glib promise, to post again the next day, that I was not able to meet…… And, if you’ll stop yelling out questions all at once, I will explain…. Thank you…. The day after penning and posting that blog, on July 1st, our second full day aboard ship, I arose early, as usual, to begin the day’s effort, when I tried to log on to the network provided on board…. Long story short, it took over two minutes for the ship’s name server to log me in, whereupon I tried to access my blog page, to see how many ffolkes had stopped in to read the first post….

Five minutes later, I was still waiting for the page to load…. and it got worse…. After attempting to go to other pages on the net, I gave up, as each time it was slower than my first dial up connection, loading pages as if still running Windows 3.1…. Unacceptable! Apparently, if more than 10 or 11 users attempt to use the network on the ship, it affects the speed, as they just don’t have anywhere near enough bandwidth to handle the traffic…. This, for a price almost 100 times the going rate for internet service anywhere !! For a minimum use plan, paying for each minute used as you go, the price was $1.00/minute; for a 200 minute plan, it went all the way down to $.79/minute, their best bargain….

I had budgeted enough money for contingencies, I’d hoped, but this was out of reasonable bounds, and would have been frustrating to use every time I logged on… So, rather than annoy myself, and my companion, I just quit for the time being, and hoped my gentle readers would understand…. If it is any consolation, I did get a lot of pictures, and had a great time, which I will attempt to share over the next few days….. We stopped in four ports of call, as well as a day cruising in a glacier fed fjord, and I’ll take them in the order we approached them from on board, to wit: Ketchikan, Icy Strait Point, Juneau, Tracy Arm Fjord and Glacier, and Victoria, B.C., our final stop….. well, until San Francisco, where we disembarked to go home….. Look for those pix and comments in section three of the next few posts, ‘kay?

Murphy greeted me this morning with an old, but classic, shot to the head, to welcome me home, I suppose…. The half-and-half milady Pat was kind enough to get for me at the store yesterday, so I’d have it this morning with my coffee, broke into a million clumps when it hit the coffee, first thing, turning it into brown cottage cheese, and totally spoiling my welcome-home cuppa… not to mention having to get dressed, walk to the store in the bright sunlight, and go through the rigmarole to replace it….. I managed that without hurting anyone unnecessarily (the one guy who spoke to me won’t wake up for hours, and should recover fully….), but it just goes to show….. well, nothing, really, except I HATE MURPHY, THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!

Shall we Pearl?……
_____________________________

After deciding not to partake of those delights provided by using the internet while on board the Grand Princess (which, in some respects, failed to live up to its sobriquet…. The trip, as a whole, and for the most part, was fantastic, but a few things about the ship itself left something to be desired….), I decided also to completely ignore the world outside the ship, and the places we visited. I listened to no news, on TV or radio, or on the net….. I checked my phone for messages only once, while in Ketchikan, but, otherwise, left it out of the equation, turned off and sitting in the safe. For ten peaceful days, all I thought about, or mostly, was what to eat next, or what movie to watch, or what comedian to go see in the theater on board, or how much more I needed to take out of the casino to make up for the shore excursions we got gouged for (the subject of an upcoming rant….)…

I did manage to come out pretty well in that category; I beat their blackjack dealers, over the course of the trip, for about three or four hundred bucks, which makes up for a lot…. Any who…. Since I have absolutely no idea what’s been going on out there in the world, I’ll ease my way back in with a random pearl, on the subject of human nature, intelligence, and the nearly uncountable facets of interrelated effects that has on people, and on reality at large…..

“Belief is the death of intelligence.” — Robert Anton Wilson

“Of course the US Constitution isn’t perfect; but it’s a lot better than what  we have now.” — Eric Sheppard

“If science were explained to the average person in a way that is accessible and exciting, there would be no room for pseudoscience.  But there is a kind of Gresham’s Law by which in popular culture the bad science drives out the good.  And for this I think we have to blame, first, the scientific community ourselves for not doing a better job of popularizing science, and second, the media, which are in this respect almost uniformly dreadful.  Every newspaper in America has a daily astrology column.  How many have even a weekly astronomy column?  And I believe it is also the fault of the educational system.  We do not teach how to think.  This is a very serious failure that may even, in a world rigged with 60,000 nuclear weapons, compromise the human future.” — Carl Sagan, The Burden Of Skepticism, The Skeptical Inquirer, — Vol. 12, Fall 87

“Curiouser and curiouser!” — Lewis Carroll, “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland”

“The moment a person forms a theory his imagination sees in every object only the traits which favor that theory.” — Thomas Jefferson, in a letter to Charles Thompson, September 20, 1787

As Meander says, “For our mind is God;” and as Heraclitus, “Man’s genius is a deity.” — Plutarch (46-120 AD) — Platonic Questions, i

‘T is education forms the common mind:
Just as the twig is bent the tree ‘s inclined.

— Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — Moral Essays, Epistle i, Line 149
_____________________________

Since I was on the water for so long, and I feel like absorbing some obscure genius, this is the perfect fulfillment of both urges….. Enjoy!

 

Aquatic Nocturne

deep in liquid
turquoise slivers
of dilute light

quiver in thin streaks
of bright tinfoil
on mobile jet:

pale flounder
waver by
tilting silver:

in the shallows
agile minnows
flicker gilt:

grapeblue mussels
dilate lithe and
pliant valves:

dull lunar globes
of bulbous jellyfish
glow milkgreen:

eels twirl
in wily spirals
on elusive tails:

adroir lobsters
amble darkly olive
on shrewd claws:

down where sound
comes blunt and wan
like the bronze tone
of a sunken gong.

~~ Sylvia Plath ~~


_____________________________

After two days at sea to start the voyage to Alaska, covering about 1200 nautical miles, the Grand Princess docked in Ketchikan, Alaska, at a dock right across from the town’s main downtown streets, with a panoply of still snow-capped mountains providing a beautiful and dramatic backdrop to a scene from 150 years ago. The buildings, all wooden, and built in the style of the time of the Klondike Gold Rush, were fronted with wooden sidewalks, even though they housed shops and boutiques from modern times, filled with all the local treasures, such as smoked salmon and Tlingit curios, as well as the touristy usuals such as T-shirts, magnets, and stuffed bears and wolves of all sizes…..

I must confess, I went a bit crazy in the shops we went into, stocking up on souvenirs for the folks back home, and found a new hat for myself, as well. We had a very good pizza for lunch at the Fish Pirate’s Restaurant and Bar, to the accompaniment of live music by Sitka Tex, who played some great western swing, in a very smooth baritone, with some pretty hot guitar licks….

We picked up his CD, and then went on our tour, called the Duck Tour, in an amphibious vehicle that carried us around the town for local history, then drove right into the harbor at the marina, for a tour along the waterfront, where we were able to see a number of eagles fishing the waters off a rock where they like to congregate…. The tour driver and narrator were very personable and funny, using every old duck joke there is to punctuate their presentations (What happens to a duck who flies upside down? He quacks up!….). Funny, for the first six jokes, then it got a bit old, even with the liberal use of a duck-bill shaped quacking toy…. but, fun nonetheless…

Below, you will find the best pictures I got from our day in Ketchikan, or in the case of our email readers, a link to the blog site where I’ve posted the pix….. I hope you enjoy them, because I really enjoyed the opportunity to take them….
Alaska Grand Adventure 004Alaska Grand Adventure 006Alaska Grand Adventure 013Alaska Grand Adventure 012Alaska Grand Adventure 014Alaska Grand Adventure 018Alaska Grand Adventure 028 Alaska Grand Adventure 025Alaska Grand Adventure 033 Alaska Grand Adventure 034 Alaska Grand Adventure 035Alaska Grand Adventure 031 Alaska Grand Adventure 005_____________________________

All in all, I wish I was still on board, but, hey, it’s also nice to sleep in my own bed….. Plus, once I got some half-and-half, it was the best coffee I’ve had in too long a time…. This Pearl went fairly smoothly, given the issues I found upon arising, may Murphy’s ass burn in hell….. It’s done, anyway, so let’s see how it reads….. Not too shabby, all in all, so we’ll go with it…. Naturally, there is a lot to catch up on around here, so, I’ll see y’all tomorrow…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

 

gigoid

dozer3

Don’t screw it in, we’ll use the hammer….

Ffolkes,
Sadly, the network here on the Grand Princess isn’t very fast, so I’m guessing photos may be an issue, upload-wise. We’ll have to see, as I actually haven’t tried to put them up yet. It may yet fool me…. Good morning…. well, it’s a good morning here on board, anyway…. It’s 5 AM, and I have a cup of the only good coffee on the ship, which comes from the coffee stand in the main lobby…. all the dining areas have atrocious coffee, and don’t seem to care… I guess they know they’ll sell more at the barista stands that way….

We’re now on our second day at sea to begin the voyage. Patricia is having a wonderful time, experiencing all the great stuff she had heard about from her mother and friends who have cruised. I’m really glad she is having this opportunity, and hope the weather cooperates. It has gotten a bit windy and cold on deck in the evening, so it’s hard for her to go out to indulge in a smoke…. We did bring the right clothing though, so it’s merely a matter of putting it on before heading out…

This is going to be rather short today. The weather, though good, was boring, so I couldn’t get a lot of pictures of the sea or land going by. This was due to sailing through a fog bank most of the day, turning the sea into a surrealistic, ghostly presence, not suitable for pictures. Plus, I’m still getting used to this new computer, which has an entirely different style of keyboard…. The issues around getting posted aren’t unsurmountable, they’re just slowing me down…. I’ll get there, though…. Let’s get on with it…. Shall we Pearl?….
_________________________

What we have here is a random harlequin pearl, chosen fresh this morning, which may be why it is rather obscure in terms of the point being presented…. It’s all good, though, because each one offers its own perspective, if you squint at them just right…..

“It’s the RINSE CYCLE!!  They’ve ALL IGNORED the RINSE CYCLE!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

“People are always talking about tradition, but they forget we have a tradition of a few hundred years of nonsense and stupidity, that there is a tradition of idiocy, incompetence and crudity.” — Hugo Demartini, in “Contemporary Artists”, 1977

“There is nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things we don’t know yet.” — Ambrose Bierce

“Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.” — Maurice Chevalier

“Fire is the test of gold; adversity, of strong men.” — Seneca (8 BC) — De Providentia, 5, 9

“Why is it that people who know nothing are so quick to prove it?” — Smart Bee

“You cannot cross a river in two strides.” — The Siddhartha Principle

See?….. As I have previously stated, timing is everything…..
_________________________

I’m trying to save time on my internet package here on the ship, so you’ll have to make do with one of mine from the archives, as I don’t have one ready to leak out today…..

Roses for Noses

I have a bozoid personality, of the first degree;
nobody, I mean nobody, knows that better than me.
I often wonder, as the world goes around, and around
how many others have realized just what I’ve found….

I know for a fact, I’m not the only bozoid one;
too many people laughing out there, having fun.
Is their laughter, though, at themselves first?
Or is it some other impulse, like purple liverwurst”….

I’ve always loved to make others laugh and giggle,
since my tender youth, when my ears began to wiggle.
The world is full of humor,  but not always easy to find
so laughing at myself I learned never to mind….

We bozos know each other, here, there, and everywhere
there’s no hiding such joy, it just wouldn’t be fair.
We all have one feature, our great bulbous nose,
and there’s no doubt at all, cuz it just grows….

There’s nothing like a good, big mistake, a disaster,
to show us the folly of living life faster and faster.
Nothing in the world can ever take the place,
of seeing in the mirror, a happy, smiling face….

Don’t be shy, just let it all hang out;
we bozos have more fun, there’s no doubt.
Life’s too somber and gray if we let it get on top
if we don’t stay loose, the pain won’t ever stop….

My advice to all of you, out there in the world,
let noses grow round & red, keep hair tightly curled.
Find a way to let your spirit out often to play,
you’ll never once regret any price you pay.

~~ gigoid
_________________________

This section will show the pictures from our first day on the ship, as we embarked, and just a few others, as the scenery isn’t within view as yet…. Not much, but a start…. Enjoy!…..
Grand day one at sea 001Grand day one at sea 009Grand day one at sea 006That’s the lot for today, ffolkes… I’ll have more tomorrow, when we get near some land…..

_________________________

Well, there you have it…. the first Pearl from aboard ship, such as it is…. Gotta go schedule a massage, so, see ya!…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3