“Ask of friends only what is honorable.”
~~ Marcus Tullius Cicero ~~
Oregon Wine Country
Hajime…. Once again, I ain’t got it. Some might ask, “What ain’t you got?”, but, they’re just jealous. Others may query, “So what?” They, too, can go take a hike. What I ain’t got today isn’t defined by simple words, so, I’m not going to try. But, to know it’s so is often useful, especially since we all must deal with it. Me, I’m going to fade back 10 yards, and punt. I’ve lost too much ground already to do anything else.
What this means, of course, is today’s Pearl will be chopped up into pieces, and recycled where possible. Where not possible, I’ll either cheat, or bail. Otherwise, there won’t be a Pearl, unless I re-blog an older one, which isn’t happening today. Why? Don’t ask, I won’t have to use the Metaphorse, which, as we all know, can get completely out of hand in a heartbeat. Perhaps, by the end of this paragraph, I’ll have some sort of sense of direction, which will take us where we ought to be by now.
Or, not….. Oh, well, so much for that. Instead, I believe I’ll just forget all the tricks, and distractions, and get on with whatever will happen. I don’t know how this will go, so, wish me luck. I have a distinct feeling I’ll need it…..
Shall we Pearl?….
“Belief is the death of intelligence.”
~~ Robert Anton Wilson ~~
Okay. I have my direction, such as it is, so, here is what I’ll be listening to while I’m taking it. Y’all enjoy; this is what I listen to when my PTSD is raging, and I am on the edge of tumbling into the abyss. It keeps me from going over, as long as it plays…. You’ll understand, once you’re engaged in listening…. Enjoy!….
Since I’ve got nothing, here’s a rant from early last year, sometime during my descent into my personal Hell…. Enjoy, ffolkes; it’s rather pointed…. and delightfully nasty in spots….
“A power has risen up in the government greater than the people themselves, consisting of many and various and powerful interests, combined into one mass, and held together by the cohesive power of the vast surplus in the banks.” — Johann L. Uhland (1787-1862) — Speech, May 27, 1836
Zowie! Eureka! I knew I’d heard this somewhere before, but, couldn’t remember the author’s name. In stating this observation, made not long after the US government was formed, the author takes the hand of Thomas Jefferson, who expressed his fear of exactly this happenstance, in numerous letters to friends before, and after, the signing of the Constitution. He recognized the overpowering ambition and thirst for power so obvious in those who embrace it, attempting to warn his fellow citizens, many times….
As is plain to see, nobody paid the slightest attention, whereupon the bankers, in close conjunction with their myrmidons, i.e., the pundits and lawyers, continued to pursue their evil intent, to secure their hold over government, and, thus, society…. They’ve been so successful, we see in today’s world, they control every level of the national scene; witness the number of Republican presidential candidates who have been sucking up to the Koch brothers, and the Citizens United PAC, with their unlimited pile of money, in use in today’s world buying the loyalty of every single politician they can pervert to their insane desire to make the world over in their own image…. It doesn’t seem to matter at all to them that image is a clear, crisp photograph of the worst HELL imaginable, or that it would entail oppressing 99% of the human race….
Why are many scientists using lawyers for medical experiments instead of rats?
a) There are more lawyers than rats.
b) The scientist’s don’t become as emotionally attached to them.
c) There are some things that even rats won’t do for money.
~~ Smart Bee ~~
Gee, do ya think I’ve lost some of my respect for lawyers, and their second-slimiest clients, the bankers? (First place in my hell is reserved for pimps, and those who abuse women, children, or animals…. which, of course, lawyers and bankers do by proxy, with their usual complete indifference to the suffering of others….) Why no, of course not. I’ve lost ALL of it, with what I consider damn good reason, based on 64 years of observing the human drama, along with my own personal experience with both categories of asshole…. The only respect for any of them I have, is for those who actually HELP people, without considering what they can get out of it, other than their own satisfaction for helping people find justice, and a reasonable fee for that help, whether the fee is taken in pies & chickens, eternal gratitude, or simply cash….
In keeping with today’s theme of picking on lawyers and bankers, and, to save energy for my upcoming battle, I decided to pick out an old school pearl, aimed at the former, as they’re an easier target, all in all…. They’re just SO…… weaselly! Well, there are some are exceptions, sure, but, the others infest the world so prominently, the good ones are hard to find…. Ah well, here are some observations about them, from Smart Bee, and a number of other people who feel the same as most everybody else, about those lawyers who use their skills to benefit themselves, showing complete indifference as to whether it benefits anyone else….
Liar, n.: A lawyer with a roving commission. — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”
“A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong. They should have killed him because he was a lawyer.” — A. Whitney Brown
“Always take a lawyer with you, and bring another lawyer to watch him.” — Bo Diddly’s Observation on the Law
“Fleas can be taught nearly everything a lawyer can.” — Smart Bee
“Here’s an amazing story. A man in Orlando, Florida, was hit by eight cars in a row and only one stopped. The first seven drivers thought he was a lawyer. The eighth was a lawyer.” — Jay Leno
“If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?” — Smart Bee
“In a man’s world…simian aptitudes are rated high, and so not too many women get in. To succeed as a lawyer, for example, a woman would have to throttle two of her chief attributes: her disdain for the petty accumulations of useless knowledge, and her sharp feeling for the truth. What men in their imbecility consistently mistake for a deficiency of intelligence in women is merely an incapacity for mastering small and trivial tricks.” — H. L. Mencken, Chicago _Sunday Tribune_, January 8, 1928
“In the Norse mythology Loki originally was on the side of the rest of the gods, helping them once or twice using particularly nasty forms of trickery. He was a cunning negotiator with a talent for technicalities. He was sort of the Norse equivalent of a lawyer, no doubt the reason they tied him down in a pit dripping acidic venom on him.” — Martin Terman
“How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? You won’t find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you’re looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb… ” — Smart Bee
LAWYER: A professional advocate hired to bend the law on behalf of a paying client; for this reason considered the most suitable background for entry into politics. — Definition from “THE CYNIC’S DICTIONARY”
Needless to say, I could do this forever, no sweat, or guilt; there are already nine pearls, and I’ve only used three of the ten pages of quotes I’ve collected on the subject. But, I suppose there ARE more productive things we could all be doing. This is pretty cool, but, as with all good things, it can’t last forever…. Onward, into the day….
Oh, hell…. Naturally, AFTER I’ve finished, I find the PERFECT pearl for this group. Since we’ve already completed it, I’ll just tack it here on the end, where it will enjoy its highlighted position; I call it perfect because it takes a shot at two categories at once, both of which are current players in my personal drama…. This one tells it like it is, for sure and for certain….
“Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.” — Anton Chekhov
gigoid has spoken…
So be it.
In the past couple weeks, you may have noted my less than stellar condition; if not, I can congratulate myself for keeping it quiet, mostly. The fact is, I’ve been experiencing a lot of arthritic pain, all over, as the barometer bounces up & down with our spring time weather. It’s kept me in a rotten mood, which has affected these Pearls rather significantly. Here is a poem I wrote about this sort of time, some time ago, that may give y’all an idea of what I’m dealing with…. Of course, it doesn’t speak of the effects of the PTSD, which sort of adds its own flavor, but, that can be for another time….
Elemental, dear Watson….
all the fun
I don’t mind
I can spend my
in another space
in my head,
I don’t fucking care
doesn’t like it,
an enormous asshole.
take the complaints.
~~ gigoid ~~
In order to get this done in nearly a timely fashion, I’m going back to the archives. Go figure….
Caution: Old School Pearl Ahead. Gird Your Grids For A Big One…..
“Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, “So. What did you think?” — Steven Wright
A monk said to Joshu, “I have just entered this monastery. Please teach me.”
“Have you eaten your breakfast?” Joshu asked.
“Yes, I have,” replied the student.
“Then you had better wash your bowl.”
— Smart Buddhist Bee
“TAPPING? You POLITICIANS! Don’t you realize that the END of the “Wash Cycle” is a TREASURED MOMENT for most people?!” — Zippy the Pinhead
“I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!” — Wicked Witch of the East
“Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.” — Pooh’s Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. Milne
There, that should do it…. I’ve made this as clear as mud, obviously…. Don’t worry, though, it won’t be on the test…. In fact, it won’t even count toward graduation, not that we care about stuff like that…. But, it does make a good point, yes? Nod your head…..
It’s done; that’s the best I can say of this one. I’ll probably be back tomorrow, as I don’t seem able to keep from doing so. I will, however, try to make it somewhat fresher than this one, thought that remains only a possibility at this point. Let’s just say, I’ll be here, come what may, & leave it at that, okay? Okay….. See y’all then, ffolkes….
Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest Carole, Mark,Theresa, & Richy
and everyone else, too…
When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.
Which is Why….
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
I just sits.
gigoid, the dubious
The *only* duly authorized Computer Curmudgeon.
PLEASE STOP READING THIS MESSAGE NOW.
“SCRAM!!!!!!!!!!”- Oscar the Grouch
À bientôt, mon cherí….