Fighting dogma is EVERYBODY’S responsibility…. Only YOU can fight the forest fires of ignorance, with the cool water of Reason!….


Hidden from sight by a looming, ominous hedge, mellifluous sounds of Mozart, played expertly on a well-tuned piano, escaped into the quickening night air, tossed away in the gentle breeze blowing from the woods beyond the hedge. Soft sounds of talk and laughter joined the music, filling in the picture of genteel life in the country.

As the silent man, dressed all in black, turned around the hedge, the party came into view; women in floating, soft-colored dresses and large floppy hats, men in leisure suits, with pale pink shirts, and the occasional short sleeve. White jacketed servers, unobtrusive, wound their way  between the formally clad attendees, offering hors d’oeuvre, or champagne in elegant flutes….

The sound of the Uzi’s safety release, followed instantly by the unmistakeable sound of the weapon being cocked, cut sharply across the conversation and music, stunning all into silence, until the man’s voice rang out, clear as a bell, ” Okay, everyone, strip!”…..

Damn! I am SO GLAD that is over! I started to write it, and it started to change on me, turning into the most boring piece of crap I’ve ever had the temerity to put on paper (metaphorically, of course….) I suppose it’s alright, from a technical standpoint…. that was the problem….. I wrote it, then went through it, cleaning it up, polishing it, making it flow….. until I realized what a pile of shit it really was….

By then, of course, my anal-obsessive nature had hold of me, and I had to finish it…. But, it’s over now, and I can go on to something perhaps less classy, but way more comfortable…. What a cock-up! And I hope I’m getting the meaning right there…. it SOUNDS right for the occasion, but, if any of my British or Euro friends have any idea of correct usage, I’d appreciate a head’s-up on that…. Thanks in advance for that….

This is, so far, a unique Pearl…. in one way only, so far, but, it remains to be seen as to whether that changes, or not. It’s unique because of the time it’s being created, which is well past any stretch of normalcy for me; it’s after 8 AM, almost 8:30, and I slept until 0749, meaning I got another nine hours of sleep last night, again….. This is such a new event, I’m not even going to try to analyze it at all, I’m just going with the flow, even if it is a very strange flow thus far…. I have lots of energy, in a relative sense, but, still little to do with it other than put it into this…. a good thing, for the most part, but, a bit limiting in other ways. I like to be active, and this getting old, in the sense of it limiting my ability to get around easily, is keeping me down more often than I’d like. I’m dithering aren’t I?

I can feel it…. I’m starting to dither, flipping from one subject to another, in my head, so fast that I can’t keep up, and neither can reality…. It gets a little confusing at times, but, sometimes, some of my best stuff gets done when this happens…. It’s a matter of balancing the creative flow of ideas that are thundering down, like a waterfall over the edge of my mind, with some intense, yet subtle, mind-control techniques, hidden, but effective,  that allow me to surf along the edge of the water, letting it take me wherever it wishes to go…. Since I’ve blathered again for long enough to suit the authorities who give a shit about that sort of thing, we can get on with today’s dive, late as it may be in getting started…..

Shall we Pearl?…..

“Love is a place
& through this place of
love move
(with brightness of peace)
all places

yes is a world
& in this world of yes live
(skillfully curled)
all worlds”

— e.e. cummings

“Late, I’m late, for a very important date…” — The White Rabbit

This could very well become the iconic statement for today’s post, were we at all interested in appointing one…. Since we are not, I’ll just explain that starting this now has given me the heebie jeebies, and it could affect what comes after…. just so’s you know, okay?…. I’m going to go right into another pearl now, as I think it would be in all of our best interests to keep moving, and hope we can get out of here without any serious injury…. This way, ffolkes, and for heaven’s sake, stay together!…. Whatever you do, stay on the path!….

“Vivid words hook misquotes in the mind.” — Keyes’ Rules of Misquotation, Axiom 1, Corollary 1A

Lord of himself, though not of lands;
And having nothing, yet hath all.

— Sir Henry Wotton (1568-1639) — The Character of a Happy Life

“Time and trouble will contain an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force.” — Dorothy Sayers

“Gentleman: A man who knows how to play bagpipes — and refrains.” — Fred Tart

“Perfection of means and confusion of ends seem to characterize our age.” — Albert Einstein

“Good people are good because they’ve come to wisdom through failure. We get very little wisdom from success, you know.” — William Saroyan

“How we deal with death is at least as important as how we deal with life wouldn’t you say?” — James T. Kirk, “The Wrath of Khan,”  stardate 8130.3.

Sorry about using J.T. in the ending…. if you wish, attribute the line to the screenwriter who wrote it for the movie, which, as we all know, is a cult classic for the competition between Kirk and Khan to see which could sustain the stiffest acting pose throughout the movie…. “Khan! Khan!….” It’s really kind of cool, with both of them vying to be the more convincing Macbeth, while playing characters in a science fiction space opera….

The line, nonetheless, is the perfect ending to what turned into a fairly decent pearl…. What, you weren’t paying attention? Ah…. Well, your loss…. though there is no charge for going back to read them again, should you so choose… Just don’t let the one by Ms. Sayers throw you off…. it fits, if you’re flexible enough…. If not, well, just try to keep up, we’re running late, as might be expected today….

Yep….. ’tis, indeed….


when you’re young
a pair of
high-heeled shoes
just sitting
in the closet
can fire your
when you’re old
it’s just
a pair of shoes
in them
just as

~~ Charles Bukowski ~~


I don’t care what the contract says, it’s my blog, and I can change things around if I want….. Anyone who doesn’t like that, well, they can walk back to the main office, and welcome… I’m going old-school again for this section, for two reasons…. One, I want to….. any questions, or problems with that? Good…. Second, it will end the agony sooner….

Whoa, wait a minute, no need to knock me over in your enthusiasm…. I get the picture now…. the sooner, the better, eh? Well, if that’s the way you feel about it, I guess I have no alternative but to carry on with what consensual reality demands, which is a speedy end to this, yes?….. Besides, I don’t feel up to ranting, and the BRC has been suspiciously quiet in the last few days…. I guess the cold weather is slowing everyone down right now…. but, not Smart Bee, thankfully…..

“Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn’t there. Theologians can persuade themselves of anything.” — Robert A. Heinlein

On a huge hill,
Cragged & steep, Truth stands,
and hee that will Reach her,
about must, and about must goe;
And what the hill’s suddenness resists, winne so.

— John Donne

“We judge individual man and women as we do nations and races–by the character of their achievement and by their achievement of character.” — Edward Abbey

Too long a sacrifice
Can make a stone of the heart.

— William Butler Yeats

“It makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Just how normal are we? Just who are the people we nod our hellos to as we pass on the street?  A rather good question to ask–particularly in the Twilight Zone.” — Rod Serling

“Always store beer in a dark place.” — Lazarus Long

“The way to keep you from becoming foolish is to never think you are clever.” — Smart Bee

Well, I tried, and that’s the important thing, isn’t it? I keep hoping so…. Besides, no animals were hurt, or used for testing without their permission, during the filming of this commercial…. unless, of course, Eddie’s been losing at the track again…. but, that hasn’t happened for a long time, and he’s on vacation, anyway….

It’s probably best if, at this point, I DON’T make any moral or ethical judgments; I’ll just read it, and weep….. I think I’m going to pass on the weeping, because, it ain’t too bad…. It’s good enough to suit MY standards, for sure and for certain, so, we all know what that means…. Which also means, bye bye, then…. until tomorrow….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.



By all means, make it palatable….

Having survived, and even thrived, through another morning’s immersion into the mundane issues of physical demands, I sit to write with clear head, and burgeoning hope. The clarity of mind is welcome, if a tad surprising, and the hope is undefined, but welcome nonetheless for its bolstering qualities. Heretofore, I have been tempted to rail and rant against the inevitable presence of our resident nemesis, but even Murphy cannot disturb me this morning, as I bask in the glow of….. Wait, that isn’t me. I don’t bask, nor do I glow, so what is that doing in my paragraph? And Murphy ALWAYS disturbs me, it’s his job….

Must have been some imp, fussing with my typing hands, slipping that in on me when I wasn’t paying close enough attention. Mischievous little suckers, those imps…. Well, then, good morning, again, or, on looking, initially….. The perfect word to describe my current SOM (State of Mind) would be “discombobulated”, a word of fine pedigree and stately pronunciation, and perfectly descriptive of how it feels this morning to use my brain. Of course, that right there should have been a clue, when I first sat up in bed; one isn’t normally accustomed to “feel” one’s brain when it is working, any more than we “feel” a muscle move when we ask it to perform a task, or “feel” our fingernails growing….. “Feeling” the brain in action would seem to indicate a certain stiffness and/or a degree of dysfunction….

But, then, dysfunctional brain issues are nothing new in my world, so it doesn’t surprise me that I didn’t notice at first how things were going to be today. There are steps I can take, and will take, to reverse the course of my brain’s initial direction, so it isn’t a catastrophe, merely an inconvenience. Hmph…. inconvenience…. there’s another word that I’ve become all too familiar with in the last couple of years, at the behest of the federal government…. Ah well, inconvenience has yet to transform into impossibly frustrating, though it does approach that level regularly, so I guess we’ll just accept this as one more day started out with less than normal smoothness, and get on with it….

With all of that noted, whatever it was, we should now proceed to our daily attempt to bring some degree of comprehension to reality, to try to stimulate some random coherence amongst the population, with the overall intent of increasing the total amount of thinking that goes on in any particular day on this planet…. The more thoughts floating around, the better chance we have of one of them helping the situation, desperate as it may be. All you can do is all you can do, and this is what I do….. Shall we Pearl?…..

“I always have a quotation for everything  — it saves original thinking.” — Dorothy Sayers

I knew there was something about Ms. Sayers I liked! Besides her books, of course….. My muse seems to be taking a short sabbatical, and I’m stuck here, trying to figure out something about which to write, or rant. I really do feel like I’d like to take some shots at the government, but an appropriate pearl doesn’t seem to be forthcoming. However, some others have surfaced that will do quite nicely for an old school pearl, so I’m forced, as it were, to fall back on that format….. Here then are some relatively random, but pointed thoughts on government, and the peripheral co-conspirators of those who delve into that cesspool of human ambition….

“Men who allow their love of power to give them a distorted view of the world are to be found in every asylum: one man will think he is the governor of the Bank of England, another will think he is the king, and yet another will think he is God.  Highly similar delusions, if expressed by educated men in obscure language, lead to professorships of philosophy, and if expressed by emotional men in eloquent language, lead to dictatorships.” — Bertrand Russell (1872-1967)

“A Galileo could no more be elected president of the United States than he could be elected Pope of Rome.  Both high posts are reserved for men favored by God with an extraordinary genius for swathing the bitter facts of life in bandages of self-illusion.” — H. L. Mencken

“Big Business and State Socialism are very much alike, especially Big Business.” — G. K. Chesterton, G.K.’s Weekly, 4/10/26

“A man attains an elevated position only when his mediocrity prevents him from being a threat to others. And for this reason a democracy is never governed by the most competent, but rather by those whose insignificance will not jeopardize anyone else’s self-esteem.” — Nicolo Machiavelli

“Men often believe — or pretend — that the “Law” is something sacred, or at least a science — an unfounded assumption very convenient to governments.” — Smart Bee

“Guard with jealous attention the public liberty.  Suspect everyone who approaches that jewel.  Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force.  Whenever you give up that force, you are inevitably ruined.” — Patrick Henry 3 Elliot at 45, Debates In The Virginia Convention

“It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.” — H.L. Mencken

I LOVE this job! Oh, wait, that’s right, nobody’s paying me…. well, it’s probably a good thing, then, that I enjoy it so much….. That last line turned this from an merely average poke at the PTB, aka our beloved ruling class, into quite an adequate rip. So be it….. and let us thank our lucky stars I didn’t fall into a rant, which, by the look of the above, would have been a doozy….. (I must have used that word previously, as Spell Checker ignored it completely…..)

“All men are poets.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“All poets are mad.” — Robert Burns

‘Perhaps not to be is to be without your being.’

Perhaps not to be is to be without your being,
without your going, that cuts noon light
like a blue flower, without your passing
later through fog and stones,
without the torch you lift in your hand
that others may not see as golden,
that perhaps no one believed blossomed
the glowing origin of the rose,
without, in the end, your being, your coming
suddenly, inspiringly, to know my life,
blaze of the rose-tree, wheat of the breeze:
and it follows that I am, because you are:
it follows from ‘you are’, that I am, and we:
and, because of love, you will, I will,
We will, come to be.

Pablo Neruda

All of us have our little illusions about life, and how we fit into the big picture. For example, I like to think that I am fortunate to have been born with more than an average appreciation of the world in which we live, or perhaps, a deeper understanding than most of how it works, and just how beautiful it is. This isn’t to say that I am better than any other person in any way; it’s just that my perceptions have always been faster, and deeper, and more accurate than those of my peer group, by all the evidence I can muster. It is not just a blessing, either, for it is just as much a curse, tending to cause a certain distance between me and others, one that takes time, and familiarity, and a certain willingness on my part to adapt, to keep that distance from becoming a problematic issue…..

“People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know much say little.” — Jean Jacques Rousseau, “Emile, ou de l’education”, 1762

To look at this blog, it would seem that I am one who knows little, as I tend to ramble on incessantly, seeming to care not at all that I am exposing my potential ignorance to others. And, quite simply, I don’t care…. For most of my life, I spent a lot of time keeping my mouth shut, and my opinions to myself, even though I could see that what I was thinking was more accurate, and certainly more reasonable, than what I was observing others to perceive, and/or think. Or, in many cases, what passed for thinking….

Over the last 60 years, mostly, I kept my silence on a wide range of subjects, to preserve peace, and to ensure that my opinions, which were often radically different than those of my peer group, did not produce enmity among them. Since retiring from work, and reducing my social interaction to the lowest level of my life, I find that all those opinions and thoughts are pouring out of me at an almost alarming rate. I also find that I quite simply don’t give a shit what anyone thinks about it….


Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance,
I have not winced nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeoning of chance;
My head is bloody but unbowed.
It matters not how straight the gate,
How charged with punishment the scroll;
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

— Henley

Not that I will not listen to opposing viewpoints; I am always ready to consider reasonable contrary evidence. But, if anyone gets offended, or upset in their emotional status in any way, by what I’ve written, well, all I can say is, too bad, so sad….. Any such will just have to learn to live with disappointment, I guess…. Actually, now that I’ve gotten used to being able to express myself without any self-imposed limitations, outside the boundaries of good taste, and compassion, I enjoy hearing what others may have to say about my thoughts. Dialogue with a challenging mind can be an intense pleasure, for sure, and I like it when people argue with me with passion, and reason.

“Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.” — Slovenian Proverb

However, I have also found that this piece of advice to be a valuable one. Sometimes (most times, actually….) it is a good thing to say what is there to be said, and then leaving….. This allows the other party to assimilate the ideas, and to come to some conclusions about it, without having the distraction of my presence. If their reaction is one of great passion in a negative sense, then it is better that I’m not there to either witness it, or to suffer its perpetration upon my psyche; in extreme cases, it saves me from having to duck and cover, or to defend myself on a physical level, neither of which is a preferable outcome to peaceful dialogue. So, I tend to say my piece, then boogie, as it were, to avoid any potential unpleasantness….

Having now submitted nearly eight hundred words in support of the first aphorism in this section, I’ll try to bring this to a logical close. I guess I’ll do it like this….. I saw a picture on Facebook, with some accompanying text that is the perfect ending for this small diatribe…. It’s a small piece of advice, well-stated, that summarizes what I’m saying quite nicely, to wit:

“If you really want to learn how to not care about what others think, just study your cat….. Seriously, they don’t give a shit.”

Pax ominbus……

Not too shabby, for one created sans any help from my muse…. Though, come to think of it, that last section may have been a late gift from them….. Hmm… I guess now I’ll have to apologize to them for doubting their loyalty and work ethic…. So be it. Now that the delusional portion of the program is completed, it must be time to send this on its way through cyberspace into the internet cloud…. as soon as the library opens….. In the meantime…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.



Look, Nancy, it’s a pregnant Paradox!

People often ask me, “Why am I asking all these things?” The answer is simple. It distracts me from thinking about all the scary stuff wandering around in my head. It also keeps me from doing nothing but sit around and plot a world-takeover, a life-long dream of mine. It’s not easy you know, being a megalomaniac. People are always out to get me…..

Enough fooling around….I am a bit saddened today. Yesterday, one of the Pearl Drops (those lucky few to whom this email is sent each morning) opted out, due to annoyance at my politics. I’m not upset that someone disagrees with me; I’m disappointed because I didn’t make it clear enough that my opinions aren’t written in stone. Yes, I express myself forcefully; it goes along with believing in what I’m writing, and from being a triple Scorpio. But I never intend for anyone reading it to think they would not be welcome if they wish to believe differently, and to say so. In fact, I would enjoy the dialogue, for that is what makes the true democratic process function the best. 

If anyone has something to say, then say it. Holding it in and letting resentment build never ends well. I know I take the risk of being misunderstood, or even reviled, when I start to rant on politics, and I don’t at all mind some spirited argument; it’s very cleansing. But it’s disheartening when someone who believes differently doesn’t have the courage of their convictions; at least not enough to speak up and say so in a public forum …….let’s go on to something more uplifting……

“A witty saying proves nothing.” — Voltaire

“I always have a quotation for everything– it saves original thinking.” — Dorothy Sayers

Inadmissible:  Not competent to be considered.  Said of certain kinds of testimony which juries are supposed to be unfit to be entrusted with, and which judges, therefore, rule out, even of proceedings before themselves alone.   Hearsay evidence is inadmissible because the person quoted was unsworn and is not before the court for examination; yet most momentous actions, military, political, commercial and of every other kind, are daily undertaken on hearsay evidence.  There is no religion in the world that has any other basis than hearsay evidence.  Revelation is hearsay evidence; that the Scriptures are the word of God we have only the testimony of men long dead whose identity is not clearly established and who are not known to have been sworn in any sense.  Under the rules of evidence as they now exist in this country, no single assertion in the Bible has in its support any evidence admissible in a court of law…

“But as records of courts of justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind.  The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witchcraft and executed was without a flaw; it is still unimpeachable. The judges’ decisions based on it were sound in logic and in law.  Nothing in any existing court was ever more thoroughly proved than the charges of witchcraft and sorcery for which so many suffered death. If there were no witches , human testimony and human reason are alike destitute of value.” — Ambrose Bierce “The Devil’s Dictionary”

Truly, a fine exercise of logic and pure reasoning……nothing to add, except to remind you to take this, like everything else, with a grain or two of salt, before you decide whether or not it is Truth…..

(to The Caissons Go Rolling Along)
Scratch the disks, dump the core,        Shut it down, pull the plug
Roll the tapes across the floor,           Give the core an extra tug
And the system is going to crash.        And the system is going to crash.
Teletypes smashed to bits.                     Mem’ry cards, one and all,
Give the scopes some nasty hits          Toss out halfway down the hall
And the system is going to crash.            And the system is going to crash.
And we’ve also found                              Just flip one switch
When you turn the power down,             And the lights will cease to twitch
You turn the disk readers into trash.      And the tape drives will crumble in a flash.
Oh, it’s so much fun,                               When the CPU
Now the CPU won’t run                        Can print nothing out but foo,
And the system is going to crash.        The system is going to crash.

— unknown genius poet/hacker

This may not be poetry in the classical sense, though it does fulfill all the technical requirements. I don’t much care how good it may be technically; it’s damn good, whatever it is. I previously printed a poem, whose author escapes me at this moment, that was structurally identical to this, with 3 poems in one. The left column stands alone, as does the right column. Together, they form another complete poem/song, and in doing so have earned my undying admiration……

LaForge: “On the other hand, I remember everything about the time I got my first pet, a Cirkacian cat.  I was eight.  I remember how funny-looking he was, I remember how excited I was.  It was if it happened yesterday.”
Data: “Perhaps you remember the pleasant memories and forget the unpleasant ones.”
LaForge: “No, sometimes the bad memories can be the most intense of all.”
Data: “It would seem there is no predictable pattern to human memory.”
LaForge: “‘It would seem’.”
— “Violations”, Stardate 45429.3

Memory is a fascinating subject. I’m considered to have a pretty good memory, and it has always served me well, especially when I discovered an important clue to how it functions in humans. You see, I’ve found memory to be just about completely dependent on our will. Think about this; almost everyone I’ve spoken to about this has the same experience. When something is important to you to remember, you will do so. If you don’t particularly care one way or another, your memory may be fuzzy. And if it is something your unconscious mind disagrees with, you will probably not find it when you go looking for it. In other words, memory in humans is almost 100% selective, and the selective criteria are different in each person.

The bottom line is this: if it is important to you, you will remember. Thus, having a good memory can be accomplished very simply. Just make everything you perceive important. Program your mind (which in reality is nothing more than a biological computer) to believe that everything you hear, everything you see, taste, smell, or touch is important to you. If you are persistent, it will become a habit, and you’ll find those memories you wanted were there all along. This little idea has helped me immensely all my life; I applied the attitude toward what I read, beginning at a young age, and now have almost eidetic memory for the printed word; I can often remember where on each page a particular phrase is located, and whether the page is on the left or right side of the open book. This shortens research time greatly.

So, if you’d like to remember the anniversaries, birthdays, and seminal events without fail and without stress, then give this a try. It’s not easy at times; the mind is lazy and requires motivation. If you need motivation, think of the expression on the face of your significant other when you give them their gift on the correct day. In the words of the commercial….priceless……

I’m a little leery of discussing politics today, but can’t see myself giving in to fear or disillusionment without a fight, so I’ll compromise, and let the quotes speak for me today. These all go together, and would normally form the nucleus of an examination of whatever is currently biting my ass in the political news…….

“The public demands certainties;  it must be told definitely and a bit raucously that this is true and that is false.   But there are no  certainties.” — H. L. Mencken (1880-1956), “Prejudice”

“Neither do the ignorant seek after wisdom.  For herein is the evil of ignorance, that he who is neither good nor wise is nevertheless satisfied with himself; he has no desire for that of which he feels no want.” — Plato (428-348? B.C.)

“If you wants to get elected president, you’ve got to think up some memorable homily so’s school kids can be pestered into memorizin’ it, even if they don’t know what it means.” — Walt Kelly, The Pogo Party

TRAITOR (n.): A person winning an argument with a liberal.

COMMUNIST (n.): A person winning an argument with a conservative.

That’s probably enough to make the point…….if it isn’t clear, just dump it all in and let it percolate; it’ll come to you…..

I’m sorry. I’m afraid I’ve caught poetry.

I care not, Fortune, what you me deny:
You cannot rob me of free Nature’s grace,
You cannot shut the windows of the sky
Through which Aurora shows her brightening face;
You cannot bar my constant feet to trace
The woods and lawns, by living stream, at eve:
Let health my nerves and finer fibres brace,
And I their toys to the great children leave:
Of fancy, reason, virtue, naught can me bereave.
— James Thomson (1700-1748)
— The Castle of Indolence, Canto ii, Stanza 3

That should take care of that; better than garlic……


DISCLAIMER: “Any resemblance between the above views and those of my employer, my terminal, or the view out my window are purely coincidental.  Any resemblance between the above and my own views is non-deterministic.  The question of the existence of views in the absence of anyone to hold them is left as an exercise for the reader.  The question of the existence of the reader is left as an exercise for the second god coefficient.  (A discussion of non-orthogonal, non-integral polytheism is beyond the scope of this article.)’ — Ralph Jennings

Well, I guess that’s enough fussing for one day. I’m thinking of substituting this for the lines now in my sig file; what do you think of it?

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Close in sentiment I think, but not good enough. We’ll stick with what we’ve got……y’all take care out there…..

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.