Ffolkes,
In all the literature I’ve read over the years, a lot of different authors have painted a picture of the life of those living in poverty. The intent of these pictures is to create in the reader an empathy for the plight of the economically challenged (this phrase, while politically correct, bears no real resemblance to the actuality of being poor, and as such, is inherently evil.  It doesn’t describe the reality; it puts another barrier between the real world and the meaning of the written word. This makes it easy to deny the reality, removing any true connection to the feelings involved….). But the empathy created is tempered by what is not painted into the picture. For the last nine months or so, I’ve been introduced to the life of the under-funded, and can state unequivocally that two important pieces of the experience of being poor in this country are missing from the usual descriptions.

It has been said that a hungry man is never bored; I can tell you from first-hand knowledge that this is true. Not knowing where the next meal is coming from keeps the mind focused on the search for food/money, and creates a state wherein one cannot afford to spend time on the luxury of boredom. What is missing here are the feelings that accompany that focused state, to wit: a constant, low-grade fear, always present in the background, causing the stomach to jump, the heart to beat faster, and the mind to spend precious energy to keep the fear at bay. This fear increases the urgency of everything; having to constantly turn the mind to finding the means to acquire money/food adds a flavor of desperation to every act, and every perception. Former activities that brought relaxation are no longer sought out, there’s no time for them. Never relaxing has a cumulative effect, and the cycle spins faster and faster, contributing even more anxiety to the system. I often feel as if I’m one of those little hamsters on a spinning wheel, a wheel that has no way to stop, and no way to get off…..

The other part that most descriptions of the state of poverty seldom mention is the sense of bone-deep humiliation that goes along with having to ask for help or charity. I can say without hesitation that this is perhaps the worst part of having to struggle to get by, probably because all my life I have been fairly successful, at least to the extent that money and food were not primary issues. Having to ask for a loan from a friend or relative is possibly the most embarrassing and humiliating experience that I have ever had. Just sitting here writing about it has me tearing up; one of the more unwelcome side effects of post-traumatic stress syndrome is how powerful emotions can surface at the slightest provocation, causing even more embarrassment, and making competent, effective action even more difficult to carry out. Self-confidence is not abetted by feeling humiliated, and self-respect becomes non-existent.

The only way I have found to lessen the despair and fear is to try to remember that things could be worse. Difficult as it may be, and I assure you it is, finding positive notes in the song of life currently being played always helps lessen the sense of dread that is my constant companion. Diving for, and reading, pearls of virtual wisdom helps too; contact with better minds than my own is uplifting, if only for the sense of hope that can be kindled by reading something inspirational, or an idea beautifully expressed. True beauty heals merely by its touch…..I went diving for pearls yesterday, and found a lot of good quality stuff; here are a few of them……

“Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst.” — Thomas Paine

All nature is but art, unknown to thee;
All chance, direction, which thou canst not see;
All discord, harmony not understood;
All partial evil, universal good;
And spite of pride, in erring reason’s spite,
One truth is clear, Whatever is, is right.
— Alexander Pope (1688-1744)
— Essay on Man, Epistle i, Line 289

“The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants.  We know more about war than we know about peace, more about killing than we know about living.  We have grasped the mystery of the atom and rejected the Sermon on the Mount.” — General Omar N. Bradley (1893-1981)
(And he ought to know….)

“Children today are tyrants.  They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.” — Socrates (470?-399 B.C.)

“I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.” — Frederick Douglass

Never be boastful; someone may come along who knew you as a child. — Chinese Proverb

An odd group, but mine own…..May you always walk in beauty…..y’all take care out there…..

Kowabunga!