For a man such as myself, who has always prided himself on physical prowess, as much as I am proud of anything at all (it’s a pretty useless condition, all in all; causes more trouble than its worth….), it is quite a challenge to accept the limitations I now experience, which extends to how far I can walk, though, as the last three weeks have proved, it doesn’t prevent me from standing and pacing until exhaustion sets in, which takes about, oh, five days or so…. But, it’s a small apartment; in five days, I only put in maybe, oh, five or six miles….

I’ve been spending much of that time, pacing, or sitting, or pacing, or, pacing, mostly in a state of introspection; hard not to when one is battling deep depression, and there’s nobody else around but a cat with only about eight or ten possible sounds to share with me. I love the wee beastie desperately already, after only about two months, but, she isn’t a scintillating conversationalist.

So, I end up either doing what I’m doing now, (writing, if I can sit long enough….), or, pacing, talking to myself, or, mostly, just thinking, about Stuff. You know, Stuff. We all have Stuff we need to think about; it’s not always the same Stuff, or even important Stuff. But, as George Carlin pointed out, it’s OUR Stuff, so back off!….

I cannot say, exactly, with any confidence, just how much longer this cleansing and readjustment of my brain chemistry will take. If the literature is accurate (often, it does not account for physiological differences from one person to the next; instead they create an average…..), it should be no more than eleven more days, hopefully with steadily decreasing intensity of symptoms. Why, last night, I was able to lie down for all of 22 minutes before having to get up to pace, with my nerves on HUM….. Didn’t get anywhere in the vicinity of sleep, but, it was welcome rest…..

Okay, I’m done prattling about myself. I’m coming out of a very dark time in my life, and feel on the verge of babbling much of the time. Right now, I don’t even want to think about very much of the last 12 months; they’ve all been Hell, but for a few days in Ireland…. Other than those few days of sheer joy of existing elsewhere, I have NOT experienced much of anything to remember, much less write home about. Oh, naturally, there were moments, here and there, with friends, with family, where my life approached something like normal socialization; otherwise, I’ve been forced to become a hermit, because of a general revolution in my own body…..

But, it’s all going to be over very soon, and, I will heave a sigh of relief my friends in Ireland, England, India, the Middle East, and all over the world, where my Gentle Readers live, will hear quite clearly, without any technical augmentation….

Guaranteed….

Well, maybe not quite, but, believe me, y’all will know….. For the moment, let’s go out to the oyster beds, so I can get off this soapbox…. Guido, we’re ready when you are…..

Shall we Pearl?….

“The the secret of contentment is knowing how to enjoy what you have, and to be able to lose all desire for things beyond your reach.” — Lin Yutang

From the intro section on 10/17/2013. The title of the Pearl on that date was:

The unconscious  mind is a powerful thing, especially when its function spills over into the world of our conscious perceptions…. Today’s title enters that twilight zone for certain…. Beyond that, this deponent sayeth naught, lest the quest to understand bring me to the brink of insanity. Let it suffice to know that, as far as the title of today’s Pearl goes, I wrought better than I knew, and leave it at that…. I think all of us will be happier in the long run….

Thus it begins…. the slow, inevitable corruption of morality always begins with a single manipulation, performed “in their best interests”…. In this particular case, we are only speaking of our philosophical intentions, rather than any connected to actual manipulation of events, or reality. But, that really doesn’t matter at all, because the corruption doesn’t know that, or care. The weather change whereof I speak happens in the heart of the manipulator, at the moment the decision is made to alter the truth in order to achieve a certain result. Once that decision is made, it is irrevocable, and further manipulations will follow, as certainly as it follows the air will be clearer after it rains….

In light of the simple fact that I’ve only consumed about four ounces of coffee so far, it might be a bit dangerous to start such a discussion, one with the apparent depth of this one. In fact, the subtle and complex arrangement of thoughts that brought this on seems to be fading from my mind as I sit here and type…. It seemed like a good idea when I started, but, somehow, it’s just a little too deep to dive into first off. I know what it is I was trying to say, but, I’m not sure, at this point, I have the wherewithal to say it with the right degree of clarity…. I’m thinking we’ll shift focus here, and go on to more appropriate material for an intro….

Not that philosophy, or, in this case, epistemology, a branch of philosophy that investigates the origin, nature, methods, and limits of human knowledge, is an inappropriate subject for that…. it’s merely a bit too deep for my current state of intellectual comprehension to cope with efficiently, or more importantly, accurately…. I slept like a log last night, after a night of no sleep at all, and I’m a bit fuzzy thus far this morning; in this state, I’ll be lucky to be able to discuss the relevance of the wisdom of Daffy Duck, so, I think we’ll let the study of the meanings of human knowledge wait a bit longer before we try to take it on…. and, in the process, we’ll keep from making judgments about the morality of manipulation of that knowledge….

It’s too bad, really, as it would have made a great beginning for an epic rant about the mess in Washington D.C…… especially the current budget crisis, brought on by the immoral, not to mention ill-advised, manipulation of events, by a small group of fanatics who found themselves in a unique position, one of having more influence than their actual degree of relevance would normally command…. They took their opportunity in hand, and, being the truly ignorant bastards they are, used it for their own purposes, with complete disregard for the actual dictates of reality, or for the wishes and desires of their own constituents…. As far as I can tell, there isn’t a single point of view one can take in this that doesn’t end up exposing them to as immoral, and, in the final analysis, ignorant and selfish, with marked tendencies toward assholiness….

However, as it sits now, what has happened is that we’ve blathered enough to call this an intro, even though it didn’t introduce anything other than a state of confusion…. but, around here, that can be considered as the status quo for this time of day…. Okay, so this is where I stamp your papers, and say….

Shall we Pearl?…. In fact, let’s do it times three….

“The world is so constructed, that if you wish to enjoy its pleasures, you must also endure its pains. Whether you like it or not, you cannot have one without the other.” — Swami Brahmananda

“Life is not the way it is supposed to be. It is the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.” — Virginia Satir

“A good friend, who points out mistakes and imperfections, and rebukes evil, is to be respected as if he reveals a secret of hidden treasure.” — Buddha

“Belief in the supernatural reflects a failure of the imagination.” — Edward Abbey

“Whoever lives true life, will love true love.” — Elizabeth Barrett Browning

“A candour affected is a dagger concealed.” — Marcus Aurelius — Meditations, book 9.

“Each morning puts a man on trial and each evening passes judgment.” — Roy L. Smith

“Character is that which reveals moral purpose, exposing the class of things a man chooses or avoids.” — Aristotle

“Fortis fortuna adiuvat.” [“Fortune assists the brave.”] — Terence

“It is best to love wisely, no doubt; but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all.” — William Makepeace Thackeray

“…life is long enough if it is well-spent.” — Erasmus

Well, it’s done. Not surprising, considering it’s still most of a day early…. No worries, that’s why the Doctor lets us borrow the Tardis when we need it…. As for me, well, I’m going to go see if I can’t fool my brain into thinking it’s asleep…. Sometimes, illusion can become reality, if we try to believe it hard enough…. If not, well, I can hack another night or three of being up; I’m getting pretty handy at it, even if I hate it with a passion…. See y’all tomorrow, ffolkes; I don’t seem to have any choice, given my state of mind…..