Tag Archives: Society

It only performs when titillated…..

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Ffolkes,

In the interests of public safety, and by local statute, I am required to make the following announcement: Caution! Operator carries no caffeine! Do not put your hands in the cage. Do not speak to the operator while writing. Do not look at the operator while writing. In fact, just go away….

Okay, so the last one isn’t really in there, and, you don’t have to go away…. But, the rest is true, and good advice at this point, if a bit frantic, due to a late afternoon attack by one of Murphy’s minions yesterday, one with results much more far reaching than his usual shenanigans….. It was a real pisser, and I’m lucky I didn’t bite myself, it was so infuriating….

After a day of agonizing pain in my neck, which kept me down and out most of the day, I was dutifully, and, manfully, considering the still-present pita (pain in the neck, see? pita…. c’mon, keep up!….) cleaning up the kitchen, when I opened the coffee maker to prepare my coffee for this morning (the coffee maker is one that can be programmed to start at a set time…. heavenly!….). The machine’s getting a bit old, and Murphy decided the moment was the perfect time to have it break, in such a way as it is not repairable….. the bloody arsehole…

The plastic neck that delivers the hot water to the brew basket, to drip, cracked clean through; if used in this state, the hot water would proceed to cover the entire sink and counter where the coffee machine lives…. I’m actually lucky I noticed it break; if I hadn’t, the disaster would have been of major proportion, as it would have actually kept me from getting ANY coffee, and would no doubt have sent me into a towering rage, and subsequent riot, wherein the coffee maker would have most likely gotten tossed through the nearest window, thus requiring embarrassing explanations to the neighbors….

Though I’m pretty sure y’all don’t much give a shit about my hassles to obtain coffee, society knows better, and requires the above disclaimer if I am deprived of the necessary dose of it within a few moments of arising. It’s the law, which was enacted the last time it happened, in 1989…. you might have seen the news reports, though my lawyer tried to have them played down, and did manage to not have the law bear my name, like it does when some sex offender gets a law passed because of their actions, or named after a victim of some kind…

In my own case, there were no deaths, and only minor injuries, mostly to me, and my property…. But, it required a strong police and fire department presence to control the resultant events, and a number of officers got frightened so badly, they’re still in therapy…. The upshot is, I am required to have my first cup of very strong coffee, complete with accouterments, defined as sugar and cream, within two minutes of arising, and I am not allowed to associate with anything more complex than a toilet until that is accomplished. It’s better that way for everyone, so I don’t really have a problem with it, until stuff like this happens….

Murphy KNOWS that coffee is a legal requirement around here, and he delights in making it harder for me to stay on the right side of that legal line in the sand…. Hence, I now have to make a trip to a store today, to get a new machine, just for starters….. This morning, just to add insult to injury, it was necessary for me to heat up water on the stove, in a pan, and pour it through the coffee basket, with the machine off, in order to get any coffee at all, which, as you may guess, did NOT make me a happy camper…. I swear, if that Irish assbite ever manifests himself in front of me in such a way as to allow me to lay hands on him, he will not forget the pain for a very long time….

Now that the morning paean to coffee, and the habitual, almost required discussion complaint about Murphy’s latest version of humorous rudeness, has been composed, we can go on to other stuff…. I would say, given what I’ve seen so far, that is probably a good thing…. Quite frankly, this intro sucks big time….. but, like a wart, there it sits, so what are we to do? Well, I know what I’m gonna do….

Shall we Pearl….
_____________________________

This is the coolest thing! If you are a fan of Doctor Who, you will appreciate this, and may already know about it…. In my short stint of surfing yesterday (pain kept me off the computer a LOT yesterday….), I found the link below…. Following it will bring you to a Google map, which is of Earl Road, in London, England….

The map soon dissolves to show a picture of the street, with a blue Police telephone box in the center of the picture. If one clicks on the two white arrows that appear in the street in front of the box, the scene switches to a virtual view of the inside of the box, which happens to be the TARDIS, the Doctor’s sentient space-time travel machine….

https://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&ll=51.492159,-0.19092&spn=0.005291,0.013937&sll=51.492140,-0.193028&layer=c&cid=12502927659667388442&panoid=c9UMhWP_MWm9U0L48xEjYw&cbp=13,291.8,,0,18.86&gl=US&t=m&cbll=51.492132,-0.192862&z=17

The scene shown inside the box is a virtual tour of the entire TARDIS interior, and the user can scroll around to view all the parts, though there is no Doctor present to guide the tour….. Regardless, it’s a great little easter egg from Google, and fun to play with for a while…. And, it serves as a way to keep me from subjecting y’all to a rant here in the first section…. Instead, I offer this little bit of fun, and hope you enjoy the time spent checking it out.

“I taught I taw a puddy tat.” — Tweety
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It may not be clear from what has gone before, but, my head today is in a very, very strange place. I’m not sure why, or what has brought it on, but, strange it is…. It’s one of those days when I am unsure of just how I will react to any stimulus from others, so, I generally try to stay to myself on such days…. It also gives me a strange, if not altogether weird, impulse toward complex poetry, to match the feeling in my head (which, I understand, is a contradiction in terms…. feelings belong elsewhere than in the head….)…. For this, I almost always turn to this poet to furnish an appropriate verse or two….

Magi

The abstracts hover like dull angels:
Nothing so vulgar as a nose or an eye
Bossing the ethereal blanks of their face-ovals.

Their whiteness bears no relation to laundry,
Snow, chalk or suchlike. They’re
The real thing, all right: the Good, the True . . .

Salutary and pure as boiled water,
Loveless as the multiplication table.
While the child smiles into thin air.

Six months in the world, and she is able
To rock on all fours like a padded hammock.
For her, the heavy notion of Evil

Attending her cost less than a bellyache,
And Love the mother of milk, no theory.
They mistake their star, these papery godfolk.

They want the crib of some lamp-headed Plato.
Let them astound his heart with their merit.
What girl ever flourished in such company?

~~ Sylvia Plath ~~

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Subjects suitable for a rant have presented themselves to my attention several times in the last few days….

The BRC continues its thrashing around in the throes of embarrassment, trying to repair the damage to their credibility that the clandestine spying they’ve been up to has caused in the public, as well as the exposure threatened to all the other attempts to distract us from what they are doing behind the scenes…..

The Catholic bishops are scurrying around trying to figure out “What were we thinking, when we elected this idiot as Pope?!”, while the new Pope himself is busily meeting with the people on the streets, telling them, if only by example, he is going to clean out the corrupt bishops who elected him… Well, he hasn’t actually SAID that, but, his actions thus far seem to indicate that he isn’t going to go along with the agenda they had prepared for him, and may actually be trying to bring the church into the new millennium…. Not that it makes any great difference to me, but, a LOT of people regard his words as their own guide to reality, so what he says and does can directly affect society at large….

There have been other, just as juicy articles that spelled out some new outrageous government policy, or some new outrage on the public by a police officer, or some new instance of prosecution of an elected official for stealing money from the public coffers…. Stuff like this happens every day, and, in truth, has gotten to the point where it is hard to decide which one to address….

Now, me, I’m lazy, that’s been demonstrated beyond a shadow of doubt in the past…. Therefore, even the process of decision making gets streamlined in terms of effort by my brain, which is extremely adroit at figuring out the path of least resistance (long practice helps there….). Hence, this random, harlequin, old-school pearl, with only the most meager of constraints placed on Smart Bee in regards choosing appropriate pearls… As long as fun is being poked, I’m good with it, and so should you be….

“I already know I’m paranoid.  The question is, am I paranoid enough?” — Smart Bee

“Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.” — P.J. O’Rourke

“I like a bit of a mongrel myself, whether it’s a man or a dog; they’re the best for every day.” — George Bernard Shaw  1856-1950, Misalliance [1910], episode I

“The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper” — Thomas Jefferson

IDIOT, n.  A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.  The Idiot’s activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but “pervades and regulates the whole.”  He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable.  He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.  — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

“He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.” — Albert Camus

“I realize that I’m generalizing here, but as is often the case when I  generalize, I don’t care.” — Dave Barry

Well, that came out better than I had hoped, or imagined…. well done, SB…. or, should that be, well, done, SB…. ?….. Either way, it seems…..
_____________________________

Given the handicaps under which I’ve struggled in order to complete this morning’s effort, I consider it a job well done, no matter how it came out… How did it come out? Let’s see…..

Okay, well, that’s way better than I’d hoped, or expected; I can easily attribute it to serendipity, which, in my life, is generally accompanied by a gleeful expression of joyful feeling, such as “Look what I found!”, or “Whoopee, I struck gold!”, or other such heartfelt exposition. Consider it said, and we’ll call it square, okay?….

I know it’s good, or at least, okay, because there weren’t any typos I could find…. at least, not in the first pass; however, it still has to cross Murphy’s desk, and the WP new-post editor, either of which could make their own, unapproved and unwanted, changes, usually without my knowledge…. Just remember, when it left my desk, it was pristine…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Did that demon just ovulate?….

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Ffolkes,

For over two years now, every day, I’ve arisen early to write this blog, missing only a handful of days, due to either physical issues, or technical glitches of some kind. The routine I’ve developed in that time works for me, in that I’ve so far been able to keep up the creative process, such as it is, to a level that filled up my Pearls to the brim every day, and sometimes, overfilling it until it spilled out all over the carpet, or your shoes….. Messy, but, effective…. I’m not going to be presumptuously silly, and claim to have written the world’s greatest novel, or even the world’s greatest blog, but, it has fulfilled the purpose for which I intended it, which was to maintain a certain degree of sanity in the face of changes in my life that were overwhelming me, coming as they did as a surprise, which, in itself, is no surprise….

Now, two and a half years later, I find myself in the morning, ready to write, but with the purpose for which I write becoming diluted. Much of that which I fought to overcome, has been overcome; I’m no longer in danger of living the rest of my life in pain and poverty, as it looked like for a while I would. I’m no longer completely alone, having found a partner who is good for my head, and for my heart, and for whom I can be a rock in their universe, when needed. My physical condition, while slowly deteriorating, is under control, and merely serves to challenge me to find new ways to perform old tricks, something us old dogs are good at, despite anecdotal and cultural wisdom to the contrary…..

What this means is that my motivation to write is blunted. I am not building up angst as rapidly, nor am I as concerned over the shenanigans of our beloved leaders, as I’m almost to the point where their idiocy no longer affects me directly. As long as they don’t mess with my retirement structure, they’re safe from my overt hostility, so I’ve reached the point of “don’t fuck with me and I won’t fuck with you…” with them, and we’re both content with that, for the time being. Without the angst, ranting is difficult; there are plenty and more subjects to rant about, as is evident every day in the news, but, the outrage isn’t as strong as it has been in the past, and bringing myself to the level of anger and outrage necessary to do the job correctly is getting harder as time goes on….

I can still use old-school pearls, but, I’m sure that most folks find them a bit obscure, as they do make one think more than most folks are accustomed to doing. Of course, the thinking required is easily done, if one learns how to disengage belief, and follow thoughts without the drag of that chain on our imagination, but, that is a technique not commonly held, so the effectiveness of old-school pearls is reduced thereby. The poetry, of course, never gets old, to me, and I don’t care what others think about that; it stays, no matter what…..

I’m not sure where I’m going with this lament, or discussion, or clusterfuck, whichever it may be. It’s actually all just another exercise in writing without cause or purpose, meandering through the fields of English to put together words in such a way that the Pearls can begin, with dignity, or with fanfare, or with nothing at all but your kind attention. In other words, another intro section filled with NOTHING, other than some self-styled prose, some dubious assertions, and a shit-load of nonsense, otherwise known as just plain crap. The discussion itself is one that really HAS no ending point; it’s a pretty moot point, anyway, because I will write, come what may….

But, it got us this far, which makes it legal, if not compelling literature; I’m not sure if that is even possible, at this point. I’m not going to worry about it now, though, as it is getting late (it’s already after 0700), and I do have other stuff to do today. Instead, I’ll do what I do every morning, and just drop this where it is, mucking up the landscape, but, getting us down the road….

Shall we Pearl?…..

“A wide-eyed, innocent UNICORN, poised delicately in a MEADOW filled with LILACS, LOLLIPOPS & small CHILDREN at the HUSH of twilight??” — Zippy the Pinhead

Yes…. yes, it is…..
_____________________________

On Monday, 8/12/13, Elon Musk, the young genius behind Tesla Motors and the SpaceX commercial space flight company, revealed his response to the need for high speed transportation from city to city, such as SF to LA. He developed his idea when he saw the proposed cost of the current high speed rail system under production by the state of California, of over 60 billion dollars. He felt he could come up with a design for much less cost, that would serve the same purpose, and at much higher speeds…. Once again, he has presented the world with an idea that is cheap, practical, and would work like a charm, using standard technologies we already possess…. A full description of his idea can be found at the provided link, which is his complete proposal……

http://www.spacex.com/sites/spacex/files/hyperloop_alpha-20130812.pdf

Of course, the critics are already pooh-poohing the idea, but, not very loudly, as this young man made his first million at the age of 12, and everything he has turned his attention to has thrived, despite all disbelief. He has made the first practical, and fun, electric car, and made it affordable to the average person. He has developed the technology, and the business model, to successfully offer space flight to the public, though it is still very expensive. Now, he has turned his genius to a problem that society desperately needs to be solved, and has once again come up with something that is completely workable….

So, this is not a rant, nor is it an old-school pearl… if anything, it is just a news article, passing on some rather excellent news for society, even though I know his idea will be put through the wringer of the nay-sayers, who will try to deride it as new and unworthy…. But, I don’t think there will be much of it, and it won’t last, as this is quite simply, an idea whose time has come, and will eventually be adopted as reality by society at large….

Read the article, think about it, and, a few years from now, we’ll meet in LA for lunch, and be home before the game starts a 4:05 PM….
_____________________________

I’m late, and lazy today, so Emily wins…. Given the above article, it seems appropriate somehow….

A thought went up my mind to-day

A thought went up my mind to-day
That I have had before,
But did not finish,–some way back,
I could not fix the year,

Nor where it went, nor why it came
The second time to me,
Nor definitely what it was,
Have I the art to say.

But somewhere in my soul, I know
I’ve met the thing before;
It just reminded me–‘t was all–
And came my way no more.

~~ Emily Dickinson ~~

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Today’s format has gotten somewhat disrupted, due to the first section’s departure from normal activity…. Well, as normal as it ever gets around here…. Any who, in this space, fashion would dictate I rant, and I actually have the proper subject for same in hand. Actually, it’s a subject that isn’t going to go away, and will continue to remain in the forefront of the news for some time to come, as the solution is one the BRC is unwilling to permit.
I’m speaking of the current flap over the surveillance of the phone records and other data being compiled by the NSA and other clandestine spying agencies….. I would have said “intelligence agencies”, but, I’m not in the habit of using oxymorons, as a rule….

I COULD rant, as I have a lot of thoughts and feelings on the issue, but, yesterday, I read one of the most complete, perfectly written and researched articles on the subject that I’ve seen thus far. It is written by Jennifer Hoelzer, who was formerly the chief of staff for Oregon Congressman R. Wyden, the most outspoken critic in Congress of the spying by the administration. In responding to the President’s formation of an independent committee to examine the surveillance guidelines, in order to address “public concerns”, she outlines her part, and the parts played by all the participants, in a clear, effective manner, calling all the responsible parties to task for creating the issue in the first place.

It’s a great piece, and a must-read for anyone who wishes to have a thorough understanding of all the important major points, including an accurate timeline of the significant events….. I offer these two articles, one reporting on the President’s announcement, and the piece by Ms. Hoelzer herself. Please read them, and you’ll see what I am saying is truth….

http://news.yahoo.com/-obama-orders-panel-to-review-possible-spying-abuses–185415834.html

https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20130810/09240524136/jennifer-hoelzers-insiders-view-administrations-response-to-nsa-surveillance-leaks.shtml

As compensation, to me, for not ranting about this today, I offer these pearls, to speak to the issue in my own unique manner….

“Nationalism is an infantile sickness.  It is the measles of the human race.” — Albert Einstein

“A state which seeks to subordinate the citizen wholly to itself and merges the person into an impersonal mass, commits a collective murder.” — C. C. Martindale, _The Catholic Bedside Book_, 1953

“A Sept 13 1987 Boston Globe story indicated polls show almost half of Americans think the phrase ‘From each according to his ability, to each according to his need’ comes from the US Constitution.” — Chomsky’s Necessary Illusions

“Say what will convince, not what you believe.” — Bureaucrat’s Law #2

DIPLOMACY, n.  The patriotic art of lying for one’s country. — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

“Experience keeps a dear school, but fools will learn in no other, and scarcely in that; for it is true, we may give advice, but we cannot give conduct. Remember this: They that will not be counseled cannot be helped. If you do not hear reason she will rap you over the knuckles.” — Benjamin Franklin(1706-1790)– Maxims prefixed to Poor Richard’s Almanac, 1757

“As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one.” — Rom 3:10

Yes, the last one was used recently in another pearl, but, I do that sometimes, when it is a perfect fit…. If all this doesn’t convince you of how serious the situation here on Earth is becoming, well, all I can say is, either you didn’t read it all, or you have more resistance to the truth than is good for you…. Any comments are welcome, even encouraged, and will be answered ASAP, back pain permitting….
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Well, it’s been real, even if a bit odd in structure…. Let’s take a gander…. Well, I was pleasantly surprised to find it more consistent than I thought it to be as I wrote it… I felt a bit fractured, during, but, in the end, it seems to have come out alright…. Happy daze…. Since I lucked out like that, I’m outta here, before I lose my courage…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Democracy has become a joke in poor taste…..

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Ffolkes,

Bah, humbug! None of it makes any sense, and it certainly isn’t designed for comfort; hence, crankiness rules now apply…. No insults are too cheap, no bad names too vile for us to use, with gusto. Today, come what may, a spade will be called a spade, and outright roguery will be called to task. I don’t care a whit who the target is, or how dignified the office they hold, or how sacred they are considered by worshipful millions, if they piss me off, they’re gonna hear about it, in plain talk, without a single moment’s hesitation, and every effort will be expended to fry them unmercifully on the hot seat of my scrutiny, until their skin crackles,they start to resemble a mutilated raisin, and their screams for mercy are ringing in my ears, making beautiful music….

In order to rant effectively, the above attitude is necessary; without it, one cannot achieve the proper state of curmudgeonry, nor can one possibly reach the depth of vindictiveness that is required to poke at public figures and make it worthwhile…. In other words, one must get in direct touch with their sense of outrage, and allow it to direct, if not control, the feelings of anger, frustration, and betrayal that are so common when the BRC carries out some new, or old, method of screwing us, an event that they tend to consider as their privilege, if not their vocation….

Seriously, those who hold office in the USA, whether it is in the executive, judicial, or legislative branch of the government, think that stealing from us, lying to us, and generally bending us over and fucking us in the ass on a regular basis, are their rights as elected officials of this country, and, to be frank, I’m more than just a little tired of it…. They don’t even bother to use any K-Y Jelly, or even Vaseline…

Of course, it would help if we didn’t invite them to do so, every election…. I mean, we keep on voting the assholes into office, so we really don’t have a lot of stable ground to stand on in that respect…. Of course, we also don’t have any way to tell which ones are lying the most, but, hey, that’s on us, not on them…. We KNOW they’re going to lie, so, it becomes OUR problem when we keep letting them do it….

SIGH…. There I go again, ranting before I’ve even had any coffee, to speak of…. I drank enough to swallow my morning meds, but, then, started typing; once begun, it just ran away with me…. I guess I was dreaming about this, or something, so it was right there on the top for me to use this morning when I booted up. I hope it doesn’t mean I’ll be in crank mode all day… I’ve got stuff to do out in the BBR that will require me to speak to other people without chewing on them, which is hard to do, when all I feel like doing is slapping them silly….. I’ll have to be careful not to let it out on anyone who doesn’t deserve it (though, in general, they do….).

BIG, CHEST-HEAVING, PATHETICALLY DRAMATIC SIGH…. 😳  People are so gullible. It’s a big part of our nature, to believe what we hear, if it is presented in a certain way, from someone who, previously, has garnered our trust, generally by prior statements. Unfortunately, we never seem to learn, at least, not well enough to be consistent about it, to verify those original statements before giving the trust, or attempt to ascertain in some other way whether or not the person’s words are worthy of our trust. This goes for elected officials especially, but, as I just demonstrated, it is true for blogs, as well….

Most of the above rant is Pure Grade A 100% BS, government certified, and if anybody knows their shit, it’s the government. Oh, all the stuff about them, and their unfortunate tendency to lie, cheat, and steal, as an avocation, is true as the day is long. But the stuff about waking up cranky, being a curmudgeon, etc., that’s all BS again today…. Please note that I spoke one piece of truth, to wit: I did drink my coffee before actually typing, and therein lies the critical difference, that should have clued you in to my use of untruth as a literary device, to hook you in, and lead you logically into the ranting portion of the piece.

In short, this has been an experiment, in human psychology, and YOU are part of it! Doesn’t that just make you all tingly with excitement and joy?

Oh…. No?

Well, heck, I thought y’all would like something new and different, but, I guess it should be something that actually engages your interest, rather than tricking you into the same sort of manipulative situation that the BRC is wont to do to you (us), such as lying, and tricking you into believing things that aren’t actually real, or as dangerous and frightening as they are made out to be…… I would suppose, had I not gone so far off-script, we might have called what just happened a morality play, but…. I guess this means we should just call it a minor clusterfuck, and get on with the rest of the day….

Shall we Pearl?….

“I couldn’t remember when I had been so disappointed.   Except perhaps the time I found out that M&Ms really *do* melt in your hand …” — Peter Oakley
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“Abstain from beans; that is, keep out of public offices, for anciently the choice of the officers of state was made by beans.” — Plutarch (46-120 AD) — Of the Training of Children

It always amazes me when I read stuff like this…. Statements like this show me that in the past one thousand, eight hundred, and ninety-three years since Plutarch reportedly died, the human race has made virtually no progress at all in learning how to govern ourselves well. By “well” I mean we have not learned, any better than they did back then, how to govern so that the people are fed, clothed, protected from their less scrupulous peers, made well when sick or injured, and generally operated with the best interests of ALL the people as primary motivation, using all resources equally and fairly, in such a way that the Earth, our only home, is also nurtured and protected, so that we will always have it….

Of course, I have to admit, to be fair, that we had not made any real progress in that when Plutarch lived, either, so, it isn’t as if we had the best examples by which we could practice our lessons to be learned in new ways. But, one would think, after all this time of watching things go wrong, we would have learned at least one or two things we could use to save our asses, now that we’re getting close to losing them…. But, it is obvious, to me, and to many, that we haven’t learned much in all these centuries, because we are still facing the same issues that were plaguing society in the days of Christ, and have continued in all the years thereafter.

I’m ranting again, and I didn’t really want to do that; this is supposed to be an old-school pearl, the first of which is the above quote from Mr. Oakley, which was intended to set the tone…. But, as is common, I couldn’t shut myself up, and had to sing another refrain in my ongoing song of lamentation regarding the state of the BRC, and the world we live in, for now…. Now, however, I’ve caught myself before getting too far into it, and will go search out the proper quotes to bring home the concept that is in my head…. Hopefully, it will be less ponderous, and less pompous, than another rant….. I’m also hoping for it to be a bit more entertaining….    😉

“Do you think sheep know when you’re pulling the wool over their eyes?” — Smart Bee

“Turning and turning the widening gyre,
the falcon cannot hear the falconer,
things fall apart, the center cannot hold,
mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.

— W.B. Yeats

“The right of the citizens to bear arms is just one more guarantee against arbitrary government, one more safeguard against a tyranny which now appears remote in America, but which historically has proved to be always possible.” — Senator Hubert Humphrey

“Those who fear death most are those who enjoy life least.” — Edward Abbey

“Reason is not measured by size or height, but by principle.” — Epictetus (c. 60 AD) — Discourses, Book i, Chap. xii

“Antiphanes said merrily, that in a certain city the cold was so intense that words were congealed as soon as spoken, but that after some time they thawed and became audible; so that the words spoken in winter were articulated next summer.” — Plutarch (46-120 AD) — Of Man’s Progress in Virtue

“Uh-oh —  WHY am I suddenly thinking of a VENERABLE religious leader frolicking on a FORT LAUDERDALE weekend?” — Zippy the Pinhead

Okay, so it came out a bit obfuscated…. it’s what happens when I give SB its head…. But, it’s still marginally better than a rant, and does get where it needs to go, so, it will do…. Did I mention you should have your seat belts fastened?….
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Yesterday, I spent the day dealing with an age-related physical issue, to wit: agonizing pain, due to a spasming muscle in my neck. The pain, which lasted most of the day, and into the night, was, at times, excruciating, and forced me into bed for most of the day, starting at about 10 AM. It finally eased up, thanks to extreme rest, and extra medication, and is, thus far, not the same issue today…. I hate those days, as they force me to accept the passage of time in terms of what I can no longer do, or count on my body being able to do. But, it does give me a lot of time to spend in my head, a place where I refuse to be uncomfortable, or bored, or anything but happy to spend time, doing what I like doing best, just letting my mind wander through the vast spaces of the Universe as I perceive it….

Hence, Yeats….. with no apologies, and no regrets…..

A Prayer For Old Age

GOD guard me from those thoughts men think
In the mind alone;
He that sings a lasting song
Thinks in a marrow-bone;
From all that makes a wise old man
That can be praised of all;
O what am I that I should not seem
For the song’s sake a fool?
I pray — for word is out
And prayer comes round again —
That I may seem, though I die old,
A foolish, passionate man.

~~ William Butler Yeats ~~

_____________________________

So, here we are, knee deep in this muddy expanse I like to call my mind’s playground, to wit: consensual reality, and I was thinking to myself, “now what?” Having no good answer, I will once again fall back to my default position, and put together a pearl of the old-school variety, strictly for fun…. What I mean by that is, I intend to have fun putting it together, and I intend it to be fun for y’all to read….

However, we all know about good intentions, and where we can end up by having them, or, more critically, by using them, so, I’ll be careful not to let that get us into trouble…. Not in section three, it’s not allowed that late in this venue…. Bad things can happen to the space-time continuum, so, there are safeguards built in that should keep us relatively safe…. as long as we remember to wear the helmets provided…. Remember, anything that splashes on you should be immediately cleansed away, or…. well, just clean it up quickly, so we never need to see what it does….

“Death never takes the wise man by surprise, he is always ready to go.” — La Fontaine

“Holy Hand Grenades, Batman!” — Robin

“Go on, EMOTE!  I was RAISED on thought balloons!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

“If it isn’t Scottish…it’s CRRRRRAP!” — Smart MacBee

(Side joke: An American tourist was in a shop in Scotland, with one of those new wallets that uses Velcro to stay closed. When he opened it to pay for his selection, the shopkeeper exclaimed, “Och, now that’s a proper Scottish wallet! It scrreams when you open it!”) (I read that joke in Reader’s Digest, over 25 years ago….)

“No harm can come to a good man in life or death.” — Socrates

“A mind forever voyaging through strange seas of thought, alone.” — William Wordsworth

“I … reject the argument put forth by many fundamentalists that science has nothing to do with religion because God is not among the things making up the  universe in which we live.   Surely if a necessity for a god-concept in the universe ever turns up, that necessity will become evident to the scientist.” — physicist Ralph Alpher, Theology of the Big Bang, Religious Humanism,       Vol. XVII, No. 1 (Winter 1983), pg. 12

You may have noted that there is no point to this pearl; it’s all about fun, for me, anyway….. and, I’m not done having fun yet, so here, to follow up this wonderful seven-star pearl, is another, a five-star pearl gathered using the same operational motivation…. i.e., none to speak of….

“What’s another word for Thesaurus?” — Steven Wright

“Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.” — Benjamin Franklin

“We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.” — Nietzsche, Friedrich Wilhelm (1844-1900)
(I use this one a lot…. It’s a big part of what I consider my basic attitude toward life at large….)

“We can do noble acts without ruling earth and sea.” — Aristotle

“If called by a panther…don’t anther.” — Ogden Nash (1902-1971), “Parents Keep Out!”

I rest my case…. and a good thing, too! This may be a new record, for the number of pearls, in the most pearls, in any one Pearl, ever…. If you followed that, you’ve been reading this blog for a long time, and good for you…. For the rest of y’all, just note, please, I’ve once again completely lost my mind prior to the end of this missive….
_____________________________

Well, that was fun! For me, anyway…. Let’s take a peek at what others will see…. Wow! Now, THAT is an epic Pearl, and just chock full of virtual wisdom and humor, or an irrational facsimile thereof….. I can feel myself getting more and more out of control in my head; if I don’t stop typing soon, two things will happen….

First, my back will turn into a mass of muscles in spasm, intent on achieving the same relative hardness as a two-by-four piece of ironwood, and I’ll turn into a whiny, pathetic mess; and, second, I will probably end up saying, or writing something that will get me arrested, or, flamed in vile, misspelled language by some fundie, or other silly shit-for-brains, instead of hearing applause, or intelligently critical, but polite, comments from my esteemed Gentle Readers…. and I’m blathering now, so I’ll stop….

It will do, and it’s certainly enough for one day…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…. Blessed Be…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Save those last few multicolored polynomials….

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Ffolkes,

Reeling from an overabundance of hyper-oxygenated brain cells, I awoke, in severe confusion. Since quitting the consumption of nicotine via the avenue of cigarette smoking, (I’m wearing the patch to titrate myself off the bloody things….), I’ve been sleeping better, due, in part, to the decrease in my coughing, and, in part, from increased oxygenation while sleeping. It has, however, presented a different conundrum for me to deal with, which consists of a period of confusion and concomitant mild fear when I wake…. I can’t say as yet just why I wake up confused, but, I do, and the mild fear is a reaction to having to face the world in that state…..

Actually, that’s all a load of BS, and I’m just talking through my hat, which is marginally better than talking through my ass…. I did  start wearing the patch, and have stopped smoking the cigarettes; it has also lessened my coughing, and increased my oxygen, thus improving the quality of my sleep…. The rest of it is all made up, just to practice two writing skills, one being sentence construction (major fail there…), and, sounding sincere and reasonable…. I think it came out alright on that part, even though it’s all just crap, in terms of facts and reality…… The sentence structure, such as it is, needs work to sound less pompous, and more ‘user-friendly’, to borrow some tech-speak….

So, how’re y’all doin’? For me, it’s been a quiet time of late, just learning the ins and outs of this new relationship, and dealing with the difficulties and issues that life and reality brings us all to deal with… For us retirees, thankfully, there is less of it, and the time limits aren’t usually so critical as when we were younger…. which is a good thing, because we move slower now, and need longer to get things done…. We have the advantage of a greater degree of foresight, and usually, a greater degree of organization and time management, though, so it all evens out for the most part….. I wasn’t sure if I would, but, I’m really enjoying being retired, now that I am more financially comfortable. The perks and advantages to being older seem to be greater, thus far, than the disadvantages, which are mostly due to the physical issues involved in the aging process we all go through…..

There, that’s done… I’m counting the above paragraph as my daily portion of bitching and whining about getting old, even though it’s more positive than not…. Consider it a gift….    🙂   Now that is out of the way, there’s nothing holding us back from getting on with today’s post, which, given the disruptions to routine that have already occurred, and the alterations already made in the background, where you wouldn’t notice, promises to be, shall we say, unique? Well, different, anyway, and, hopefully, entertaining, if nothing else….. I see that we’ve again reached the proper amount of vacuous nonsense for stimulation, (or is that simulation?…) of the cortical processes we pursue each day….

Shall we Pearl?…..
_____________________________

Isaac Asimov    The headlines I read every day show me absolute proof of Mr. Asimov’s assertion, as the power of stupidity in human affairs continues to direct, no, drag us, ever closer to our own self-destruction as a species. Ignorance, and the resulting fear of the unknown, is the single most powerful issue, in my estimation, in the struggle for existence in which we are now engaged. Moreover, by its very nature, that issue, and its power, is working against  our continued presence on this planet in a way that almost guarantees its success (though, in fact, if properly channeled, it could, instead, be a powerful motivational tool for survival….). It (stupidity/ignorance) does that by appealing to what every human alive has, and will give in to every time it is invoked, to wit: our own personal self-interest…..

No matter how ethical, or moral, one considers themselves, they are still making their decisions in life, about everything, based on their own self-interest. This colors every aspect of what we perceive, for it determines, in advance, how we will employ those perceptions to act. Our self-interest considers, first, what WE want to make ourselves happy, and it is only those with the will and the intelligence to subdue this impulse who can bring themselves to act out of true charity, or selflessness, thinking first of what will benefit all, rather than just themselves. Any other acts of that nature are, when examined closely for motive, performed because they somehow improve the person’s own position, either in the real world, or in the world in our minds…. Remember, ffolkes, those are two separate things, entirely, and should not be confused as being the same thing (though that is what everyone tries to do…. make the outer world conform to their inner image of that world….)

Now, I realize that it’s a bit early for philosophical discussions of such a subtle, and deep, subject…. But, this issue is what I consider to be the primary operational factor in how the world is, quite frankly, going to hell in a handbasket…. Human nature is the very thing that is killing us, and will continue to do so as long as the most fearful and ignorant among us are allowed, and even encouraged, to continually act in their own self-interests, because those little indulgences are going to end up killing us all, all because the greedy and avaricious assholes who are in charge of the world’s resources are immoral and unethical enough to feel no moral dilemma, at keeping the rest of the ignorant masses under their control, for the benefit of THEIR own self-interests….

They, the BRC, the corporate masters, and their myrmidons, the churches, the police, and the armed forces, are the ones who have no ethical compunctions against making people afraid, so they can fan those fears, promising deliverance, if only they will give up their independence, and allow others to think for them. This system gives them everything they want…. power over others, power over money and resources, and control over everything they see, so that it all is working in a way that fulfills and enhances their self-interests…. It matters not at all to these monsters that the rest of mankind suffers, or that eventually the path they have chosen will kill ALL of us; it matters not, because their sense of entitlement does not stretch to include the concept of their own demise; they don’t think they are subject to the same laws as the rest of us, and tend to forget that they, too, are subject to the laws of physics…. laws from which there IS NO APPEAL…..

I’m a smart guy, and I’ve seen this building up through all of my life, due to events that have taken place throughout mankind’s relatively short (cosmically speaking) history on this planet…. I also am smart enough to realize that it’s all coming to a head, because physics cannot be ignored, and the physics of the situation here on Earth says that drastic changes are coming, in terms of planetary weather, and atmospheric, and oceanic chemistry, and those changes are going to be more than we are (currently…) able to cope with, either in a physical sense, or a cultural sense…. In other words, she’s a gonna blow, so we’d best be ready to jump….

I’m personally hoping that a Martian colony can be established before I, or my children and grandchildren, get swept up in the maelstrom to come…. If so, and they would take someone of my age, I would grab my grown kids, my grandson, and Patricia, and her kids, and be off to Mars, in a heartbeat….. Otherwise, I need to figure out another way to get the world to make the inner changes needed to alter the path we are on, or, quite simply, we are all going to die…. Maybe not today, and maybe not in the next 50-100 years…. But, the physics says that it WILL happen, ffolkes, so, I’d advise y’all to at least think about what you might do when it does…..

Okay, I’m done being a doom sayer for today…. Today is a good day, or will be, if I have anything to say about it…. Oh, you say you need proof of all I’m asserting here? Okay, this should make it pretty clear…. This is a real law, I checked….

“In Lexington, Kentucky, it’s illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your pocket.” — Smart Bee

(Okay, so I didn’t really check, but, it wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest to find this to be true in fact…. We’ve all seen sillier examples that ARE true….)
_____________________________

After such a somber rant, I feel the need for something soothing to my spirit; it’s hard to be serious for so long…. Well, it is for me…. Besides, if we take the view of a solipsist, all of this. (Life, the Universe, and Everything….), is perfectly under our control, and we can change it anytime we wish, right?….. Right….

Soliloquy Of The Solipsist

I?
I walk alone;
The midnight street
Spins itself from under my feet;
When my eyes shut
These dreaming houses all snuff out;
Through a whim of mine
Over gables the moon’s celestial onion
Hangs high.

I
Make houses shrink
And trees diminish
By going far; my look’s leash
Dangles the puppet-people
Who, unaware how they dwindle,
Laugh, kiss, get drunk,
Nor guess that if I choose to blink
They die.

I
When in good humor,
Give grass its green
Blazon sky blue, and endow the sun
With gold;
Yet, in my wintriest moods, I hold
Absolute power
To boycott any color and forbid any flower
To be.

I
Know you appear
Vivid at my side,
Denying you sprang out of my head,
Claiming you feel
Love fiery enough to prove flesh real,
Though it’s quite clear
All you beauty, all your wit, is a gift, my dear,
From me.

~~ Sylvia Plath ~~

_____________________________

I’m not sure what stimulated the rant above, but, it felt good to get all that out, if nothing else…. So, I’ll indulge my own self-interest at this point, (as if that isn’t what I’ve been doing now for over a million words, a couple thousand of them daily for over two years….), and go to an old-school pearl, that is, at the very least, fresh, if not excitingly unique and perfect…. Hell, it may end up being perfect; that’s the nice thing about going in cold, you never know…. This one will be as random as I can make it, as I’m not setting any parameters, except that I like it, and it goes somewhere…. I don’t care where….  Enjoy!

“Nothing’s so weird that no one’s done it.” — Smart Bee

“I’m sorry. I’m not allowed to argue any more.” — Smart Bee, speaking for gigoid…

“It is a terrible thing for a man to find out suddenly that all his life he has been speaking nothing but the truth.” — Oscar Wilde

“An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.” — Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)

“You can play with my mind if you let me play with yours..”– Smart Bee, speaking for gigoid, again.

“A good place to start is where you are.” — Charles Wolf, Jr.

It is the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance.
It is the dream afraid of waking
that never takes a chance.
It is the one who won’t be taken
who cannot seem to give.
And the soul afraid of dying
that never learns to live.

— Bette Midler, The Rose
_____________________________

One of my strongest skills is rationalization; as someone who posts every day, when possible, I have to be flexible in what I allow to go out, because, believe it or not, I do have some pride in what I do here…. Very little, as I’m a pretty good judge of literature, as opposed to litterature, and my own efforts goes back and forth between the two…. Let’s see what has been wrought today, shall we…. I can’t be sure, but, it’s pretty close to good, or a reasonable facsimile thereof, so, I’m taking it, and I’m gonna run with it…. Like I’ve said before, a number of times, I’ve done worse….  😆   Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Picking random numbers in a somber mood….

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Ffolkes,

It’s been a good while since the sight of a blank screen in the morning scared me overmuch; I’ve learned to deal with that particular fear rather well, I think. This morning, though, I can’t help but feel a bit of trepidation…. it’s so blank, and so white! Just the color (or lack of it….) is enough to start the trembling and gibbering that usually accompanies my fears of this nature…. It’s not that I’m a coward; the hundreds of fights I’ve had to jump into, in order to stop a battle, or to control someone in a rage,  gave me more than enough proof that I’m not afraid of physical harm…. No, it’s the threat of a blank mind that gives me the heebie-jeebies….

But, in the last few weeks, I’ve found the solution, for the most part….. It’s not always pretty, but, it’s always a legal document, at least, it’s legal once I’ve let my head wander, dragging along my fingers, prancing them around the keyboard like little martinets. I always manage to find four or five paragraphs of relatively useless information have been deposited on screen, fulfilling my needs for an intro, at least from a legal point of view….. Artistically speaking, it’s a whole different ball of wax, but, nobody’s giving me any prizes or salary anyway, so it matters little in the long run. It gets me into the first section, where I can allow my creative side, whether it wants to rant, or go old-school, have its head…..

Still, there’s a small part of me that regrets my inability to find a template, or something consistent that could be used in this section to get us where we need to go….. It would make life easier, to be sure, but, since it doesn’t seem like it will ever happen, I don’t think I’m going to hold my breath until it does…. So, y’all will have to continue to suffer through these little personal conversations with myself, occasionally laughing, occasionally groaning, and often ducking in alarm, as some pretty dangerous concepts get thrown around at times, without any warning to speak of….

Then there are those mornings when, Murphy notwithstanding, things go badly, and I have to resort to one of my emergency procedures to get us out of the intro… Those days can be pretty tough to handle, especially if I am forced to resort to any of the procedures numbered 3 or 7….. those are both somewhat disruptive to the space-time continuum, and it can take a while for normality to resume its customary shapes…. Of course, I offer extra doses of Valium on those days, so it all balances out, mostly….

Why, look! It’s happened again….. Here we are, four and more paragraphs in, and not a single coherent word to be seen…. Oh, I know, it all SEEMS to be lucid, and reasonable, but, you’re not the one in my head, and can’t see what is really going on in there, so, be happy that is the case…. Even the strong have been known to faint in horror when confronted with that stuff too early in the day…. Regardless of all that, we’ve reached the legal line again, so we are now cleared to take off…. Y’all had best return to your seats, buckle up, and take your medication, because the ride is about to begin….

Shall we Pearl?….
_____________________________

This is going to be a strange little pearl…. I started out trying to pick quotes that would create an image of our society, showing not its strengths, but its weaknesses, with the intention of making fun of how silly it all is…. Well, I got a picture like that, but, silly isn’t the word I’d use to describe the image…. “Sad”, or “pathetic”, would be more accurate, I think…. It doesn’t even hit all of the high spots, in terms of all the stuff that is wrong with our culture, but, it does give a good idea of how fractured and disorganized it has become over time, until today, when nobody alive can make heads or tails out of it….. So, being strange, and sad, it thus gives a pretty good picture…. or, at least an accurate one….

“A hundred years ago we were much smarter; then you lived until you died and  not until you were just run over.” — Will Rogers

“In the beginning was nonsense, and the nonsense was with God, and the nonsense was God.” –Friedrich Nietzsche

“Forward goes the vanguard of the lunatic fringe, tickling the death clowns of normality.” — HealNorm

“I’d like to see people, instead of spending so much time on the ethical problem, get after the problems that really affect the people of this country.” — Richard Nixon

“Whenever we read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and torturous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness, with which more than half the bible is filled, it would seem more consistent that we called it the word of a demon than the Word of God. It is a history of wickedness that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind.” — Thomas Paine — The Age of Reason

“When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer ‘Present’ or ‘Not guilty.'” — Theodore Roosevelt

“Fortune is like glass,–the brighter the glitter, the more easily broken.” — Publius Syrus (42 BC) — Maxim 280

I feel as if this is not quite clear, so, I will add one more little powerful quote, to put it all into the proper perspective…..

“It’s so clean. It’s certainly uncontaminated by cheese.” — Smart Bee
_____________________________

So far today, all I seem to be able to produce is crap, or a reasonable facsimile thereof…. To avoid splashing any of that onto any other artists, especially those who have my respect and admiration, I’ll put in one of my own poems today, and hope for the best…. Enjoy!….

How It Works….

Retreat, retreat, he cries in vain
we cannot stand such pain!
Another battle, another day’s fight
Eternally at war, both day and night.

Storms within, crashing and thrashing about,
filling each moment with fear and doubt.
Cries of anguish, hopes for a swift end
Denied with wounds that will not mend.

The crisis approaches, time will not wait.
It marches on, driven madly by fate.
We have no recourse, no other road to walk,
No great power to whom we may talk.

Morning arrives, seemingly mild and free
Until one considers all that must be
An intro, some pearls, a photo or two
Today’s magnificent Pearl, created just for you…..

 ~~gigoid ~~

_____________________________

I should probably rant here, and actually have a good subject on which to go off…. However, my mood is such that I don’t have the patience to sit and be logical right now…. Not to mention the stiffness in my hips and back that is making it hard to sit for long…. Already this morning, I’ve been compelled to take a number of breaks, to stop my legs from going numb, or to prevent stiffness from building up…. Any who, all my physical handicaps aside, I just don’t feel like ranting, as I’d probably not just go off, but would most likely go over the top…. which is something y’all should strongly hope you never have to witness….

So, I’ll fall back on an old-school pearl to save the day…. In deference to my own lack of purpose this morning, I’ll let Smart Bee pick the subjects, and see what is in its little mind to highlight for discussion…. On the greater majority of times I let it have its own way, it seems to do very well, so…. off we go… Where we will end up has yet to be determined…. I hope it’s funny, though, I’m in the mood for funny….

“Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.” — Sigmund Freud

“And on the 8th day Man, unable to cope, discovered drugs.” — Smart Bee

A traveler at Sparta, standing long upon one leg, said to a Lacedaemonian, “I do not believe you can do as much.” “True,” said he, “but every goose can.” — Plutarch (46-120 AD) — Remarkable Speeches

But it’s all right now.
I’ve learned my lesson well.
You see, you can’t please everyone,
So you gotta please yourself!

— Ricky Nelson

“The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?” — Sigmund Freud (1856-1939)

“Never underestimate the power of soup.”– Smart Bee

“I do not believe in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.” — Thomas Carlyle

Well, I was right about one part…. it is strange, for certain…. I like it, though…. Kind of like the runt of the litter, y’know, it’s always the cutest….
_____________________________

Okay, that does it…. I’m done for the day, and nothing you could say or do could conceivably make me do it over…. Even before I go to proof it, I know it will be one of the oddest Pearls I’ve ever created, so, I’m a bit leery…. Oh, well, it ain’t getting done while I sit here moaning about it…..

I’m totally unsure of just how this got done, but, it’s done, and didn’t come out all that badly…. It won’t win any prizes, I’m pretty sure, but, it won’t hurt anyone in particular, unless they identify too strongly with one part or another, so, that removes it from the realm of being a public nuisance…. which, on a day like today, is the best I can hope for…. Tomorrow will be better, or different, whichever comes first….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Now renting parodies of human existence….

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Ffolkes,

Oh. My. Gosh…. (Hmm… just doesn’t have the same punch as the blasphemous version, does it?…. Oh, well, I like to be polite, and blasphemy so early in the morning is rude, even for me….) Any who, color me both surprised and dismayed…. Yesterday, or rather, night before last, I slept so hard, I hurt  myself! All day yesterday, my left shoulder was killing me, no matter how much I tried to get ahead of the pain with an extra dose of meds. You can only go so far in that direction before being compelled to turn back, due to side effects, or overdosing concerns. No, I realized, around noon, the pain was because I slept so long on my left side, the shoulder was suffering from being held in one position for too long, and not being at all adult about suffering the pain in silence…..

In spite of the agonizing and contortions this caused during the day yesterday, you can see that it was such an unnerving episode that it’s still bothering me today…. It’s either that, or I’m being a weenie, and I don’t want to hear anything at all from the peanut gallery about that statement….. It was unnerving due to the ironic nature of the pain; if I hadn’t slept so well, I wouldn’t have been in pain…. I could easily attribute that kind of thing to Murphy, but, it’s a bit subtle for him; his sense of humor runs more to pie-in-the-face, or keystone kops, than it does to irony or subtlety…..

Hmm, I hate to say it, but, that only leaves the weenie option, which is just wrong, and doesn’t deserve the screen-time I’m giving the whole issue…. But, then, isn’t that what the intro section is for? Long-winded, barely sane, ironic, or sardonic, statements about issues that have no meaning outside my bathroom walls, for the most part, meandering for what often seems like forever through strange landscapes and even weirder concepts, all to get to some obscure, semi-intellectual question about matters that are unresolvable in light of modern technology, or modern culture, combined with some rather odd habits and beliefs about human nature….. But, think of this…. where would you be if you weren’t here?

Aha! See, you can’t answer that, not without stopping to read, and think about it…. And, the answer you’d find wouldn’t make you anywhere nearly as happy and amused as you are here, so, see? It’s not a waste of time, for you, or for me….. This concludes our exercise in the dangers of using logic before 6 PM….. I hope you have enjoyed learning about the most pressing problem faced by our society today; please feel free to take the handouts with you when you leave, and don’t forget to stop in the gift shop…. the starving children will thank you for all you purchases, 25% of which will go to their care and feeding….

How did we get there? And who was that guy? Just what is going on here? Sheesh, step away to get a cup of coffee, and two whole paragraphs appear on the screen! Ignore the last two, ffolkes, that was Murphy, doing his thing….. Though I do implore y’all to forget these excessively weird paragraphs even exist, I AM going to take them as part of the legal requirements for this section, and bring this to a close…. Alright, I can hear those of you not snickering breathing huge sighs of relief out there, so, I’ll take the hint, and get on with the business for today….

Shall we Pearl?…..
_____________________________

“HEY CONGRESS! What ever happened to the Constitution?” — Smart Bee

You would, as would anyone in this position, assume this to be the beginning of another rant against politics, and those wonderful examples of broken morality, our beloved ruling class. But, nope, it’s not…. Oh, it could be, if I wished it. In fact, that is what I started to do, when I first put it up there for your perusal….. But, to be honest, I’m just not in the mood for ranting today. Not that I don’t feel the outrage at their daily shenanigans…. My opinion of Obama took another nosedive day before yesterday, when he canceled his trip to speak with the leader of what’s left of the USSR, Alex Putin, because the Russians refused to extradite Eric Snowden, the former tech worker turned whistleblower….

I think that what Mr. Snowden did deserves the thanks and support of all the American people, for bringing to light still more of the clandestine activities being perpetrated by those in power. The reaction of the Obama administration has gone a long way toward destroying his image of a President who is concerned for the common man, as he continues to completely ignore the illegality of the entire issue (of the prisons, of the torture, of the internal spying, of the court with no oversight…) and refuses to even address his own part in all of it….. It’s infuriating to see a man of such patriotism and bravery (Snowden) being persecuted by his own government, though it shouldn’t come as a surprise….

Hmm….. It seems that if I allowed myself to do so, I could  put out a pretty vitriolic rant; I guess my mood is more flexible than I had assumed for so early…. But, I still don’t feel like going all the way off, because, well, getting all emotionally worked up is not a good way to start the day, at least, not today…. Any who, to avoid any further complications due to angst or emotional outbursts, I’ll let Smart Bee put together a pearl, using the political scene of today’s society as a starting point for search parameters….. Or, as they are fond of saying downtown…. whatever, dude….

“Do thou restrain the haughty spirit in thy breast, for better far is gentle courtesy.” — Homer

“I’m just here for moral support. Ignore the gun.” — Smart Bee, channeling a Senator

“I see it as a compensation. I feel like I’m doing a good job. If no one is recognizing my good job, I recognize it.” — Orlando Arias, Los Angeles county health inspector, — after being filmed accepting a $200 bribe, — as reported by AP, November 10, 1998

“Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.” — Publius Syrus (42 BC) — Maxim 914

“The Three Stooges, the sinking ship, and the lone lifeboat: Ronald Reagan: “Maybe we should save the women and children.”
Richard Nixon: “F**k the women and children!”
Bob Packwood: “Gee, do you really think we have time?”

— the Stilt Man

I think “immoral” is probably the wrong word to use…I prefer the word “unethical.” — Ivan Boesky, inside stock trader

“All military type firearms are to be handed in immediately… The SS, SA and Stahlhelm give every respectable German man the opportunity of campaigning with them.   Therefore anyone who does not belong to one of the above named organizations and who unjustifiably nevertheless keeps his weapon… must be regarded as an enemy of the national government.” — SA Oberfuhrer of Bad Tolz, March, 1933

I’m going to stop there, because it’s beginning to get a bit obscure, and I don’t want to anyone to lose the message…. which, simply put, is this…. Despite all they will tell you, the elected officials in this country, from the top, all the way to the bottom, are NOT doing their jobs with YOUR best interests in mind, nor are they overly concerned with following the precepts of governing as set down in the Constitution by our forefathers. They are doing the best they can do to fill their own pockets, and the pockets of their friends, and anything other than that they tell you is a bare-faced lie…. Sorry to be the one to tell you, but, somebody has to….

Of course, the last guy who did so is now hiding out, being protected by the Russian (!!!???) government, not out of humanitarian impulses, but for political gamesmanship…. These days, it’s not a good idea to be publishing the secrets of the politicians… They get so annoyed, and swarm around, looking just like a hive of beetles under a rock, exposed to the light of day…..

Unfortunately, they’re more dangerous than beetles, because they have guns, and, sadly, the force of the laws they’ve written to protect their rights to plunder, and to allow them to lie to us….. Watch your step, ffolkes, or you may be their next target for exploitation (not that you aren’t already being screwed over…. but, it could become specific and personal, rather than just as a part of the general fucking of society that is taking place…..)

I’ll leave you with two final thoughts on the subject, just because I can….

“I don’t pick on politicians. They ain’t done nothin’.” — Red Skelton

“Truly, you are a person who speaks the truth, lives the truth, abides by  the truth. And truth is, of course, stranger than fiction, and you certainly are too.” — Smart Bee
_____________________________

Strangely enough, I’m still in the mood for Emily, so, you’ll have to put up with her insane genius for another day….

I cannot live with you,
It would be life,
And life is over there
Behind the shelf

The sexton keeps the key to,
Putting up
Our life, his porcelain,
Like a cup

Discarded of the housewife,
Quaint or broken;
A newer Sevres pleases,
Old ones crack.

I could not die with you,
For one must wait
To shut the other’s gaze down,–
You could not.

And I, could I stand by
And see you freeze,
Without my right of frost,
Death’s privilege?

Nor could I rise with you,
Because your face
Would put out Jesus’.
That new grace

Glow plain and foreign
On my homesick eye,
Except that you, than he
Shone closer by.

They’d judge us–how?
For you served Heaven, you know
Or sought to;
I could not,

Because you saturated sight,
And I had no more eyes
For sordid excellence
As Paradise.

And were you lost, I would be,
Though my name
Rang loudest
On the heavenly fame.

And were you saved,
And I condemned to be
Where you were not,
That self were hell to me.

So we must keep apart,
You there, I here,
With just the door ajar
That oceans are,
And prayer,
And that pale sustenance,
Despair!
 
~~ Emily Dickinson ~~

_____________________________

This section’s pearl is a tribute to perseverance; I’m tired, and just want to be done for the day, but, I must live up to my own standards, because nobody else will… any who, no worries, we’ll just do a random harlequin old-school style pearl, and all will be well…. provided SB doesn’t give me a hard time…..

“For the wise men of old, the cardinal problem had been how to conform the soul to reality. And the solution has been knowledge, self-discipline, and virtue. But for the contemporary mindset the problem is how to subdue reality to the wishes of man.” — C.S. Lewis  “The Abolition of Man”

“He is the MELBA-BEING…  the ANGEL CAKE… XEROX him…  XEROX him –” — Zippy the Pinhead

“A State which is incompetent to satisfy different races condemns itself; a State which does not include them is destitute of the chief basis of self- government.  The theory of nationality, therefore, is a retrograde step in history.” — Lord Acton (1834-1902)

“If you don’t run your own life, somebody else will.” — John Atkinson

“Never create by law what can be accomplished by morality.” — Charles-Louis Secondat Baron de Montesquieu

“It is so basic. A human being is an innocent part of nature. Our civilization has distorted this universal quality that allows us to feel at home in our skin. Other animals have coats that they accept, but the human race has yet to come to terms with being nude.” — Ruth Bernhard

“If you work on your mind with your mind, how can you avoid an immense confusion?” — Seng-Ts’an

See? All in the wrist….
_____________________________

Producing these Pearls has, of late, been an epic undertaking…. but, since there isn’t anything else that is pulling at me to get done, I can only be grateful for having something that keeps me out of trouble, for the most part….. I’m not going to comment on what that may be costing me in terms of self-respect, but, whatever it is, my ego can take it…. and, no, I have no idea what any of that means, particularly…. Let’s see what kind of damage I’ve done so far…..

Okay, then…. That there is some serious business…. I didn’t realize I had come down so copiously on the BRC today, but, that’s okay by me, they deserve all the crap we can throw at them, just to keep things balanced…. Plus, it’s done, so, hey, I’m outta here…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Soused on pilfered gin, all in a good cause…..

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Ffolkes,

As much as I love it when a plan comes together, I hate even more when it doesn’t….. such as this morning. I can tolerate Murphy’s usual screwing around with those parts of life that will fuck me over the most; I even tolerate it when the asshole just won’t let up, and hits me over and over throughout the day…. But, this I won’t tolerate…. He’s trying to fuck with my computer, and that is unacceptable…. I don’t need that kind of aggravation, not any more, and I won’t put up with it for long at all….. If he continues in this vein, there WILL BE A RECKONING!!!

Sorry for the outburst, but, computer issues due to just plain orneriness is something I just won’t allow. If this were an old machine, or had a history, or was getting overloaded with too much crap software, or something explainable, I could accept a bit of mucking about on boot up….. But, the kind of stuff Murphy had it doing today just won’t cut it, not when I know there is no reason beyond Murphy’s own assholiness to hold as responsible….. Sorry, but, I’ll not have it, and if he doesn’t like it, well, he can come talk to me, and I’ll explain it, in words of no more than one syllable…. or, if that isn’t working, I can just show him with my hands….. he’ll get the picture quite quickly, in that case….

I know, I talk a big game, but, how am I going to get him to hold still? Those iconic forces of nature can be tricky to pin down, possessing those supernatural powers over the rules of space and time as they do….. But, I don’t care how big and bad he is, he fucks with my comp again, and he’s dead meat…..

There, I feel better, if only for venting. I suppose that’s why I rant…. to get all that powerful negativity out of my head, and out into the real world, where it can be better dealt with in a way that won’t harm me, or anyone else. It’s a harmless enough pastime, especially when one considers how few people actually see it in one day; nobody is going to get hurt if they don’t read it, and hopefully, even if they do read it, it won’t cause any bleeding…. I know that I hate to bleed anywhere near the computer, so I’m sure other ffolkes don’t much like it, either…. Not bleeding is a good thing, in most everyone’s world, so we’ll try to keep things such that it can be avoided….

I can’t say that I am terribly proud of this particular opening section; so far it’s even more lame than usual, even for this blog. But, we’ve already reached the point where we are over the limit for allowable deletion, so I’ll have to let it go out the way it is, sans any elegance or witty repartee. Rats! I did so hope to include some witty repartee today…. it’s been so long since I tried my hand at it….. Ah, well, I’ll just have to settle for whatever SB comes up with as pearls today, because, I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date….. not really, but, it’s time to go dive in….

Shall we Pearl?…..
_____________________________

I’m in a curious mood, one that feels as if I should not trifle with it, lest it become something more suitable for a horror movie, with great gobs of blood, gore, and destruction….. None of us wants that on a Friday; it could affect the entire weekend. So, I’m giving Smart Bee its head, to see what it can come up with that will possibly turn this in a new direction, before it gets dangerous to navigate…. let’s see what it can do….

“Knowledge is a polite word for dead but unburied imagination….think twice before thinking.” — e.e. cummings

In the days when Sussman was a novice Minsky once came to him as he sat hacking at the PDP-6.  “What are you doing?”, asked Minsky. “I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe.” “Why is the net wired randomly?”, asked Minsky. “I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play” Minsky shut his eyes. “Why do you close your eyes?”, Sussman asked his teacher. “So that the room will be empty.” At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.” — AI koan

“Enter freely and leave some of the happiness you bring behind.” — The Insidious Wu Han

“It is a great advantage for a system of philosophy to be substantially true.” — George Santayana

“People who wear mirrored sun glasses should seek professional help.” — Smart Bee

“Oh Lord, grant that we may not despise our rulers; and grant, oh Lord, that they may not act so we can’t help it.” — Lyman Beecher

“Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions.” — G. K. Chesterton, ILN, 4/19/30

Ooh, ooh, that’s a good one…. I can’t say for certain what direction it brought us to, but, it will, I have no doubt, be better than where we were headed…. Well, one always hopes…..
_____________________________

On days such as this, where I’m living under a set of rules that may or may not be clear, I tend to look for the same kind of obscurity, or at least, semi-transparency, in the poetry that will fit in with the mood of the day. Most often, in such cases, Emily is perfect, and today is such a case…. Don’t ask me to explain this one, because I won’t…. because I can’t…. I like it anyway…..

A bird came down the walk:
He did not know I saw;
He bit an angle-worm in halves
And ate the fellow, raw.

And then he drank a dew
From a convenient grass,
And then hopped sidewise to the wall
To let a beetle pass.

He glanced with rapid eyes
That hurried all abroad,–
They looked like frightened beads, I thought;
He stirred his velvet head

Like one in danger; cautious,
I offered him a crumb,
And he unrolled his feathers
And rowed him softer home

Than oars divide the ocean,
Too silver for a seam,
Or butterflies, off banks of noon,
Leap, splashless, as they swim.

~~ Emily Dickinson ~~

_____________________________

It isn’t your fault, but, I was up quite late this morning; turning over to try to go back to sleep actually kept working each time I did it, starting at 0400, all the way up to 0705, when I finally arose…. I reiterate, it isn’t your fault, but you’re going to get the perk that goes along with that, which is the simple fact that I don’t have the time to put together a rant…. This means, of course, that we’ll be going old-school for this section again today, and you will just have to learn to appreciate it…. Just think about the rant you’re NOT having to read….

Now that we have successfully promulgated, and denied, the normal course of events in such cases, I am free to go on to the gathering of the pearls, always the most fun part of this process….. Well, it’s fun, as long as Smart Bee is cooperating, and it has been doing well today so far…. let’s hope it continues…. Before I bore y’all completely senseless, which would mean calling the crew in to perform the sleeping body disposals, I’m going to go diving….. see ya on the flip side, as they say….. Well, I guess they don’t say that any more, so…. hell with it, I’ll be back….

“Most of us lead lives of chaotic improvisation from day to day, bawling for peace while plunging grimly into fresh disorders.” — Edward Abbey

“Integrity has no need for rules.” — Albert Camus

“The whole principle is wrong; it’s like demanding that grown men live on skim milk because the baby can’t eat steak.” — author Robert A. Heinlein on censorship

“If you wants to get elected president, you’ve got to think up some memorable homily so’s school kids can be pestered into memorizin’ it, even if they don’t know what it means.” — Walt Kelly, The Pogo Party

“Chi Wen Tzu always thought three times before taking action. Twice would have been quite enough.” — Confucius, 5th century BC

“The world will never starve for want of wonders; but only for want of wonder.” — G. K. Chesterton, TREMENDOUS TRIFLES

“Hello.  Just walk along and try NOT to think about your INTESTINES being almost FORTY YARDS LONG!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

What a perfectly random group! The point it takes us to is the absolute perfect representation of whatever it was we did here today, don’t you think? Of course, whatever that may be is beyond the capability of the English language to accurately describe, but, there is nothing new in that, either, not for this blog…. I like to think we push the boundaries back a little bit every day…. Oh, look, it’s quitting time!….  See ya….
_____________________________

As noted above, I got a late start today, but, managed to rush it all through without any bloodshed…. Let’s see if it’s at all palatable…. Well, it’s savory enough, even if potentially unpalatable for those who can’t, or won’t, use more than three neurons at once; that’s okay, it’s not designed for their consumption, anyway. Regardless of any of that, it will do, and, hallelujah, it’s done…. On time, too…. I’m going to count my blessings, and be on my way…. TTFN, amigos….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

We’ll have an asparagus pizza, and the Neopolitan pudding….

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Ffolkes,

I just want to be on record as saying that I believe, contrary to consensus opinion, Brussels sprouts are not little green balls of Evil. There are occasions, I will admit, when they’ve been used to foster Evil’s ends; infrequently, but, always fearfully, they are forced upon unwilling, terrified children as a form of hideous torture, in plain view at family meals, but, in my view, they are not inherently bad, merely easily manipulated…. That being said, we can get on with the day’s business, even though the ambiance regulator has already been set on weird…. S’okay, anything to do with Brussels sprouts can be considered weird, so, we’re good to go, conceptually….

And, then, I woke up…. dazed and confused doesn’t begin to describe the state of my no-mind…. which I don’t mean in a Zen sense, no sirree bob…. It does, however, mean I’m awake, after a fashion…. That is, if that word can legally be used to describe what I am just now…. I’m not sure of anything other than the fact that, since I’m writing this the night before, it is only an approximation, based on prior experiences, and may, or may not, be completely congruent with reality as it exists then…. or, now…. or, whenever it may, or may not be….. Now, I’m not sure what day it is anymore, and I think I’ll go back to bed…. try to start over….

The above paragraphs seem to have been left for me this morning, though I don’t recall having written them…. It must be a touch of early onset Alzheimer’s, or something….

No, actually, I’ll be honest…. I did  write them last night, and all in all, I think they’re not bad, if a bit odd. I was going to try to pass them off as forgotten, or as fresh, but, my honesty bone wouldn’t allow it, so I’m admitting them to be a plant….. No harm, no foul, right? If nothing else, it got me this far down the line into the intro, and not having to struggle for that is a bonus, for sure…. I’ve given up on finding the right template for this section, and now just let it flow as it occurs….

It has worked out fairly well that way, though it still causes me some worry, when I stare at the screen each morning, praying hypocritically for inspiration…. I’m flexible, and if there is a God, and He wants to help out, fine…. I don’t think so, but, I’ve been known to be wrong a couple of times in the past, and it can happen to anyone, so I like to leave some room for changing my mind, if necessary….

Like any real  writer, I’d sell my mother’s soul for a good line or two…. I’d feel guilty for a few minutes, but, I’d do it, especially if promised a complete poem…. Since, by my way of thinking, there isn’t a God, and, thus, no Devil, either, I’m pretty sure I’m safe in that respect…. Knowing this doesn’t stop the worry, but, it does keep me sane…. well, I think so, but, who am I to contradict the professionals?….

Shall we Pearl?…
_____________________________

The article to which the link below points, was written by a man with my dream job, had I any remaining interest at all in working for a living…. His name is Mark Morford, and he is a columnist for the SF Chronicle, writing a very long column once or twice a week, each of which shows an incredible command of the English written word, as well as, possibly, the largest vocabulary I have ever seen in actual use…

He doesn’t just use the language, he USES it, with great style, power, and facility, fueled by a sharply observant mind, and a cynical, doubting eye… Is it any wonder I like his stuff?…. Any who, he wrote a piece that I want to share with y’all, about a subject I rant on frequently, i.e., the lies we are told every day, by people at all levels of society, who don’t care to observe any sort of honesty in their lifestyles, to wit: practically everyone in positions of authority, for that matter, in any position at all…. I think you’ll enjoy it, and it will save me the time, which I can use to find more pearls for your delectation….

http://blog.sfgate.com/morford/2013/08/06/100-percent-all-natural-lies/

I couldn’t have said it better myself, and have done so in the past (you figure out the context in that sentence, if you wish, I couldn’t….), no humor intended, though it’s probably hilarious, taken correctly….. Any who, I thought it was a very clear, very convincing argument regarding the constant barrage of lies we receive every day from those who choose the news….

The corporations set the agendas, the beloved ruling class keeps the populace distracted, the judges protect them, the police bully the populace into following the corporate rules, and the preachers preach obedience to temporal authority, and pocket their kickbacks…. It’s been this way since the first cavemen got together to barter, way back before Jesus kicked the sticks out of his crib, and, still today, not enough ffolkes are aware of it all to make a difference in the outcome…..

SIGH…. It makes me wonder how humans can consider themselves as the most intelligent animal on this planet, because they sure don’t display much of it…. Since Mr. Morford was so illuminating with his article, I’ll merely try to get you to smile in acknowledgment, while promoting the same message with my pearls….

“Well, there were sixty-eight people there, and sixty-two of them had no more desire to throw a stone than you had, Satan!”
“Oh, it’s true.   I know your race.  It is made up of sheep.  It is governed by minorities, seldom or never by majorities.  It suppresses its feelings and its beliefs and follows the handful that makes the most noise.  Sometimes the noisy handful is right, sometimes wrong; but no matter, the crowd follows it. The vast majority of the race, whether savage or civilized, are secretly kind- hearted and shrink from inflicting pain, but in the presence of the aggressive and pitiless minority they don’t dare to assert themselves.  Think of it!  One kind-hearted creature spies upon another, and sees to it that he loyally helps in iniquities which revolt both of them.  Speaking as an expert, I know that ninety-nine out of a hundred of your race were strongly against the killing of witches when that foolishness was first agitated by a handful of pious lunatics in the long ago.  And I know that even to-day, after ages of transmitted prejudice and silly teaching, only one person in twenty puts any real heart into the harrying of a witch.  And yet apparently everybody hates witches and wants them killed.  Some day a handful will rise up on the other side and make the most noise — perhaps even a single daring man with a big voice and a determined front will do it — and in a week all the sheep will wheel and follow him, and witch-hunting will come to a sudden end.” — Mark Twain, The Mysterious Stranger

“The news is the one thing the networks can point to with pride. Everything else they do is crap – and they know it.” — Fred Friendly, 1980

“State legislators are merely politicians whose darkest secret prohibits them from running for higher office.” — Dennis Miller

“The trouble with Congress is every time they make a law, it’s a joke, and every time they make a joke, it’s a law!” — Will Rogers

“When politicians rush to fix things, it’s a sure sign that either the intended patient is dead or fully healed.” — Tony Snow (News Commentator, 2002)

“The problem of civil society is twofold: how to identify and select wise rulers, and how to assure that their wisdom will be used for the benefit of the ruled- or of the common good as distinct from their private good.” — Harry V. Jaffa

“To see what’s in front of one’s nose requires a constant struggle.” — George Orwell
_____________________________

I love poetry, as is probably apparent by my daily inclusion of one or more of them in these Pearls…. One of the reasons is that the power of words seems to increase when used well in a poem; the meaning of each seems to be larger, and amenable to greater flexibility of that meaning, allowing the poet to address more than one issue with the same words…. The following poem from one of my favorite poets is a perfect example of this, as so elegantly demonstrated in the final line…. Looked at with a certain viewpoint, this poem is a perfect complement to the rants above, in section one, both mine, and the one from Mr. Morford, as well…. Enjoy!…..

Epigram Engraved on the Collar of a Dog Which I Gave to His Royal Highness

I am his Highness’ dog at Kew;
Pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you?

~~ Alexander Pope ~~

_____________________________

I’m tired already, but not in either a physical or mental sense…. I’m just old, and feeling it. Regardless of the ‘why’, I need to get this last section filled in with something appropriate, so, I’m going to show exactly how lazy I’m able to be, and go with another old school pearl…. I have no excuse, nor do I feel I need one, as this pearl’s entire purpose is entertainment, not elucidation, or education, or even edification…. I know it can be a difficult task, but try to enjoy this, okay? It’s all in fun….

Axiom #2:  “Ability to type on a computer terminal is no guarantee of sanity, intelligence, or common sense.”
Corollary #3: “An infinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of keyboards  could produce something like Usenet.”
Corollary #4: “They could do a better job of it.”

— Gene Spafford, USENET Axiom #2
(Now you know more about the process of creating these Pearls than I ever intended anyone to know….)

“Real suffering has a face and a smell. It lasts in its most intense form no matter what you drape over it. And it knows your name.” — Mary Karr’s The Liar’s Club
(Scary thought, eh? All too true, though, in almost everyone’s life….)
(I thought we were being funny? Oh, right, we are…. sorry, got distracted….)
(Okay, I’ll stop commenting now….)

“Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.” — Mary Ellen Kelly

“When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I’ve never tried before.” — Mae West, in “Klondike Annie” 1936

“At 50 everyone has the face he deserves.” — George Orwell (1903-1950), “Journals”, 1949

“Never meddle in the affairs of dragons, for, to them, you are crunchy, and tasty with ketchup.” — Anonymous

“The evidence of the emotions, save in cases where it has strong objective support, is really no evidence at all, for every recognizable emotion has its opposite, and if one points one way then another points the other way. Thus the familiar argument that there is an instinctive desire for immortality, and that this desire proves it to be a fact, becomes puerile when it is recalled that there is also a powerful and widespread fear of annihilation, and that this fear, on the same principle proves that there is nothing beyond the grave. Such childish proofs are typically theological, and they remain theological even when they are adduced by men who like to flatter themselves by believing that they are scientific gents…” — H. L. Mencken

I understand that more than a few of you may have become confused by the tone of the last quote, and may possibly have harmed innocent brain cells in the process of bringing your mind around in a 180 degree turn like that, especially if you kept looking for the punch line….

All I can say is, sorry about that…. I saw the quote, and it was just so clearly reasoned, and so logically presented, and gave such a strong message of the power of reason and doubt, I couldn’t help myself…. Plus, its inclusion here could  be considered a joke, so….. Any who, I hope you enjoyed this little trip into the less than perfectly sane areas of my head…..
_____________________________

Whew! That was an epic Pearl, to be sure…. I’m almost afraid to go proof it, but, being the dutiful lad I am…. Epic, I think, is quite accurate. Since I am so uncertain as to how the entire picture of this Pearl looks (it’s too big today to get a good grasp….), I’m going to trust my luck, and the fact that nobody really cares, and go ahead and post it…. I like it, and that is enough for me…. (Is this where I say nyah, nyah, nyah…. and make a rude gesture with my hands?…. No? Oh right, we don’t do that any more….)

I’m going to go now, before the voices get any louder, and start slipping in parenthetical thoughts on me…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Yet another display of consistently obscene pathology….

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Ffolkes,

I suppose it all comes down to whether or not one is willing to put up with the universe’s demands upon our time and energy, when deciding which of the many different types of cereal to have for breakfast. I mean, there’ the question of sugar versus aspertane; the question of rolled oats versus wheat or corn flakes, the  question of puffs versus flakes, or the whole concept of cut-up fruit, and other accessories to the breakfast experience. And, then, just when you’ve decided on one thing or another, they ask you whether you want home fries or hash browns with that!…..

Life is hard, isn’t it? Decisions await the application of our will around every corner, every hour of the day; we can never really get away from the need for making hard decisions in life. Trying to do so only causes further difficulties, as Murphy has an entire department of imps just waiting to help us make decisions in life that are guaranteed to drive us insane, by feeding us false, or erroneous data about what we have to decide, thereby ensuring we make the wrong decision, thus, affording him and his minions hours of free entertainment, as we gnash our teeth and wail out our complaints to an uncaring universe….

Me, I stick to coffee in the mornings, leaving the decision-making to other folks to enjoy. I refuse to give Murphy the opportunity for any more free shots at me than he already takes. If I want to eat, I stick to pastries, or other stuff that won’t cause a big mess in the kitchen. That room is too full of too many dangerous objects; knives with sharp edges, fire, heavy pots, scalding hot liquids…. No, thanks, I’ll pass on all that in the morning, in lieu of making weekly trips to the emergency room to deal with Murphy’s latest version of what he thinks is funny, which, naturally, frequently causes me to leak one kind of body fluid or another…. another image I probably could have skipped using…. SIGH…. Oh, well, I can’t be responsible for the state of people’s stomachs ALL the time…..

Hmm…. compared to what generally passes for an intro in the mornings around here, this is pretty mild, and actually somewhat engaging, if you have any interest at all in breakfast cereals…. If not exactly your cup of tea, well, we’re serving coffee, over there in the corner, where Murphy and the gang are, of course, taking advantage of my hospitality by hogging all the condiments; you’re free to join them, at your own risk, naturally. He’s already had his way with me today, so he’ll be glad of the company. Me, I’m going to go pearling, as if it were the most natural thing in the world…..

Shall we Pearl?…..
_____________________________

Yesterday, Smart Bee was a bit off center at times, but, with good grace, and a willing heart, it managed to get me what I needed, and threw in a few extras for today’s post, which I dutifully saved, recognizing them as the lustrous gems they were…. I’ll now go search out a few more, to fill out the dimensions for a proper indictment of the beloved ruling class, and the panorama of human folly we call “politics”, which, as, I believe, Ambrose Bierce pointed out, is a combination word, coming from “poly” meaning “many”, and “tics” meaning “blood sucking insects”….. a perfect description of the general run of that sport’s participants….

“Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.” — H.L. Mencken, “Little Book in C major”, 1916

“Can there be a republic that does not slump under the weight of so much human desire?” — Michael Scully

“Beyond a critical point within a finite space, freedom diminishes as numbers increase. . . . the human question is not how many can possibly survive within the system, but what kind of existence is possible for those who do survive.” — Frank Herbert, Dune

“‘Tis better to be alone than in the company of fools.” — Bobby Matherne, American Philosopher (1940-)

“I had too much to dream last night.” — Electric Prunes

“In our society, the Republicans set out to prove that the Democrats can not  be trusted to run the government. And the Democrats set out to prove that the Republicans can not be trusted to run our government. The real problem here is that both the Democrats and the Republicans have come up with  something which is absolutely true and perfectly correct. This means that the people get to pull some sort of horrible trick on themselves and live with their choice for four years.” — Smart Bee

“Now I’m concentrating on a specific tank battle toward the end of World War II!” — Zippy the Pinhead

Okay, silly, I know…. but, look closely, and you’ll see how true all of them really are, when compared to reality…. Here, if it’s that big a deal for y’all…. here is a final word, that pretty much says it all… but, without the buffer of humor….

“…when all government… in little as in great things, shall be drawn to Washington as the centre of all power, it will render powerless the checks provided of one government on another and will become as venal and oppressive as the government from which we separated.” — Thomas Jefferson, 1821
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Poetry is sometimes so powerful, it only takes a few meager lines to impart an incredible amount of inspiration, wisdom, and beauty….. Emily was a master of this principle….

Because I could not stop for Death —
He kindly stopped for me —
The carriage held but just ourselves
And immortality.

~~ Emily Dickinson ~~


“We have art that we do not die of the truth.” — Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
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I’m still feeling a bit silly, so I’m going to give in to the impulse to let that out into the light of day, and go with another old school pearl, this one gathered with the idea of ‘smiling’ in mind…. Let’s see what SB has to say on the subject…..

“We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.” — Nietzsche, Friedrich Wilhelm (1844-1900)

“Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.” — Joseph Wood Krutch

“If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.” — Murphy’s Eighth Law

“OH, STOP YOUR WHINING!” — Smart Bee
(ref: Peruaosophy, Axiom #6, to wit: Axiom #2 X axiom #5 = And God so loved the world, He said, “Quit whining!”)

* Greatest number of citizens who have actually boarded a UFO
* Many newspapers feature “JUMBLE”
* Hourly motel rates
* Vast majority of Elvis movies made here
* Didn’t just give up right away during World War II like some countries we could mention
* Goatees & Van Dykes thought to be worn only by weenies
* Our well-behaved golf professionals
* Fabulous babes coast to coast

— David Letterman’s “Things we can be proud of as Americans”

“The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.  — Jane Wagner”

“A day without a laugh is a day wasted.” — E.E. Cummings
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I love it when a plan, etc…… Due to time constraints imposed upon me by the BBR, (Big Blue Room, for those with memory impairment issues….), I had to sort of rush through this morning’s post… Sometimes that affects the quality, or, at least, the format that is employed in creating the pearl. Today, I think it went well, so, let’s see….

cute owlYes, yes, this pleases cute owl! Well, it pleases me, anyway, and that’s all that counts in the ultimate sense. Cute owl is only here as a hired consultant…. Now that I have demonstrably gone completely around the bend, I’ll leave you to treat your wounds in peace….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Some folks never do understand fractions….

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Ffolkes,

Destroy his fib or sophistry–in vain!
The creature ‘s at his dirty work again.

— Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — Epistle to Dr. Arbuthnot, Prologue to the Satires, Line 91

Aye, he is, indeed. Up, that is, and at his dirty work, again…. Well, I am, anyway, even if the creature isn’t quite awake yet…. Actually, it’s a good sign, being up early, considering how early I fell asleep. I felt like a little kid, falling asleep before dark, afraid I was going to miss something. I didn’t, though, so it was okay to fall out that early, as I had already done everything there was to do, up to, and including, dinner with my lady. Eating well, good company, and a double shot of Jack will put me under every time, especially now that I’m old and frail….

Hah! Caught ya! Old and frail, indeed…. While I must admit that I am old, and I do get tired pretty fast these days, I don’t think I’m quite ready to join the Geezer Society, or to become a member of the “let’s go sit down for that” group of senior citizens, who never get out to do anything, spending their time rocking on the porch, watching the world go by…. Thanks, but I’d rather be part of the parade marching past, even if I must limp, and, even if it means getting tired all the time, eh? Fatigue is  a small price to pay, for not turning into a slug…. Besides, as a slug, you’ve got to always be on the lookout for salt….

I should know better than to start writing before I drink some of my coffee…. I AM up early again, at 0500, but, since I fell out at 8:30 last night, that is quite enough sleep, and I’ve got no worries there…. But, the content of anything that streams out of my pre-caffeinated brain is suspect, at the very least, and, potentially, toxic, at the worst. This, I think, falls in between, and isn’t dangerous, by any means….. But, then, neither is it particularly interesting, or gut-bustingly funny, and it certainly isn’t going to make anyone run out and wake up the Pulitzer Committee members…. Hell, it may not even hold anyone’s interest as far as this paragraph, and that is sad, indeed….

I must try to overcome my sadness, though, and go on…. nothing else would be honorable. Okay, well, you’re right, it doesn’t have anything to do with honor, but, I’m human, and I, too, occasionally fall prey to those human foibles, of making things up, or more plainly, lying to suit my own purposes, in this case, just getting on with it…. This lie, intended to speed things along, like the lies our beloved leaders tell us, aren’t BAD lies, they’re little white lies, and won’t hurt anyone…. right? Right? Lying CAN be a good thing, yes?….

Well, no, it can’t…. It isn’t really a good idea, even to spare someone’s feelings…. The truth, painful as it can sometimes be, is always best. We tend to forget that, because we sometimes wish we hadn’t known the truth…. But, knowing the truth, unpalatable as it may be, will never poison us, whereas lies will cause us toxic pain, one way or another, every time they are used, either as a passive recipient, or as a guilty perpetrator….. We all hate the fact that pain is our best teacher, but, we all know it is true, which is the source of the old adage about “sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind”, one we all acknowledge as truth, though we don’t always like it….

There I go again, ranting in the intro section…. SIGH…. I wish I could get a solid handle on this stuff; it’s getting a bit frustrating….. Though, that, of course, totally ignores the fact that I do it to myself…. Ah well, I guess we’re all Bozos on this bus, so, I may as well let my humongous proboscis do its thing, and honk away…. meanwhile….

Shall we Pearl?…..
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“King Arthur and his armored goons of the Round Table functioned as the Politburo of a slave state: Camelot. Of all who have written on the Matter of Arthur, from Malory to White, only Mark Twain understood this. But Mark Twain was a great writer.” — Edward Abbey

Which means, by implication, all the others were not good writers….. I happen to agree with this assessment, but, then, I’m  curmudgeon by nature, and by training, so accepting an unpopular truth comes easy to me. It’s unpopular because all those other authors have agents, too, and hate to see their charges maligned, even posthumously.

Then, there is also the fact that the lies, of which the history of any historical period are comprised, are considered to be the truth of the matter, as decided by the ruling faction at the time, and with the approval of the priestly hierarchies…. Historical writings are notorious for being colored by the wishes and desires of the church leaders and kings of the periods in question; an adage commonly held by all ages is, “history is written by the winners….”

This is not supposition, by the way…. This is a proven historical fact, and one that, though everyone seems to know it, and accept it, nobody seems to want to do anything about it. Not only that, but, our modern leaders, in both the governments, and, the churches, lie to us on a daily basis, and nobody seems to care about that, either….

It’s as if over half the human race just gives up all hope of understanding the universe, or having any overt personal control over their own lives, and gives up their right to make up their own minds to those in authority, allowing them to do all their thinking for them, and accepting whatever lies they choose to tell, implicitly….. It quite simply makes me crazy….

Those in power KNOW this, of course, and encourage it shamelessly…. The church leaders all preach tolerance, and submission to temporal authority, while at the same time accepting the kickbacks and privileges afforded them by their sanctified status, with no taxes, and all the other perks that go along with being a church.

The government leaders are more obvious in their machinations, but still are allowed to lie, and cheat, and steal, right out in the open, with the full approval of those who elect them…. Until, of course, someone points out the immorality or unethical nature of something, then there is a huge outcry, and some other idiot with a glib tongue is shoved into the limelight, in favor of the liar who got caught… which, in our culture, is the ultimate crime…

Yep…. killing, stealing, violence, lying, all are socially acceptable activities, provided one does not commit the ultimate crime of getting caught doing any of it…. Our culture REWARDS this kind of behavior, with laws that protect anyone who lives within its parameters.

We have, on the books, laws that allow for discrimination, cheating others, and/or outright violence, provided one a) has a legally approved reason (i.e., government or societal sanction, such as for the police entitlements, or, such as “stand your ground” laws, or, most egregiously, laws stating that corporations are “persons”….), or b) doesn’t get caught doing it…. According to the law, if no one saw you do it, it didn’t get done…. I guess that makes sense, in an unreal sort of way…. It sure doesn’t account for reality very well, though….

Okay, I’m done ranting for now…. I rant and rave about this stuff regularly, but, very seldom does it have any real effect out in the real world, which sort of puts it in the “useless wind” category of literature. Maybe someday, someone will listen, or read it, and get a clue, and spread it around a little wider….

It would be, in my estimation, a very good thing for a lot of people to know this stuff, because, believe me, none of your teachers, or preachers, or politicians, or policemen, are ever going to tell you any of this stuff, for the simple reason that they would rather you didn’t know, and would prefer that you didn’t even think about this kind of thing…. They’re better off when you don’t….

Me, I say, fuck ’em….  I prefer to live in Reality, as it exists, to “tell the truth, and shame the Devil,” as much as I possibly can…. the Devil being defined as that part of humanity that lies to the rest of us…. Maybe I’ll just call it The Asshole Syndrome, and let it go at that…. In conclusion, I have only these comments….

“Beware of the half truth.  You may have gotten hold of the wrong half.” — Smart Bee

“Who cannot give good counsel? ‘T is cheap, it costs them nothing.” — Robert Burton (1577-1640) — The Anatomy of Melancholy, Part ii, Sect. 2, Memb. 3

“If voting could change the system it would be illegal.  If not voting could change the system it would be illegal.” — Schroedinger’s Cat

“Forbid a man to think for himself or to act for himself and you may add the joy of piracy and the zest of smuggling to his life.” — Elbert Hubbard

“A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.” — Mark Twain

“Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I’m rich.” — Daffy Duck, from Looney Tunes Ali Baba Bunny (1957, Chuck Jones)

And, of course, the kicker….

“History is a pack of lies about events that never happened told by people who weren’t there.” — George Santayana
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What better way to show how the subject of the above rant has affected society, than to exhibit a poet who rejected the lies he heard, and insisted on describing reality the way he saw it, much to the chagrin of the powers that be…..

Cultural Exchange

In the Quarter of the Negroes
Where the doors are doors of paper
Dust of dingy atoms
Blows a scratchy sound.
Amorphous jack-o’-Lanterns caper
And the wind won’t wait for midnight
For fun to blow doors down.
By the river and the railroad
With fluid far-off going
Boundaries bind unbinding
A whirl of whistles blowing.
No trains or steamboats going–
Yet Leontyne’s unpacking.

In the Quarter of the Negroes
Where the doorknob lets in Lieder
More than German ever bore,
Her yesterday past grandpa–
Not of her own doing–
In a pot of collard greens
Is gently stewing.

Pushcarts fold and unfold
In a supermarket sea.
And we better find out, mama,
Where is the colored laundromat
Since we move dup to Mount Vernon.

In the pot behind the paper doors
on the old iron stove what’s cooking?
What’s smelling, Leontyne?
Lieder, lovely Lieder
And a leaf of collard green.
Lovely Lieder, Leontyne.

You know, right at Christmas
They asked me if my blackness,
Would it rub off?
I said, Ask your mama.

Dreams and nightmares!
Nightmares, dreams, oh!
Dreaming that the Negroes
Of the South have taken over–
Voted all the Dixiecrats
Right out of power–

Comes the COLORED HOUR:
Martin Luther King is Governor of Georgia,
Dr. Rufus Clement his Chief Adviser,
A. Philip Randolph the High Grand Worthy.
In white pillared mansions
Sitting on their wide verandas,
Wealthy Negroes have white servants,
White sharecroppers work the black plantations,
And colored children have white mammies:
Mammy Faubus
Mammy Eastland
Mammy Wallace
Dear, dear darling old white mammies–
Sometimes even buried with our family.
Dear old
Mammy Faubus!

Culture, they say, is a two-way street:
Hand me my mint julep, mammny.
Hurry up!
Make haste!

~~ Langston Hughes ~~

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“That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!” — Calvin & Hobbes (Bill Watterson)

Now, THAT’S what I’m talking about! This is an excellent approach to living life, as it deserves to be lived (whew, almost said “should”….see yesterday’s Pearl….), one that provides a lot of good insulation against the lies and general run of bad stuff life can bring…. Well, maybe not QUITE that excellent, but, it does show a good, strong, positive ego, with all the chutzpah Calvin will ever need to get by…

Actually, I just like it, because it’s typical Calvin, and, as such, is a contains many sharp metaphors for society at large… I know, sometimes my imagination takes me right up to the edge of sanity, and peers over to view the long fall, fearlessly…. It’s the only way I can do that without suffering vertigo….

Any who, I’m feeling a bit silly, and since my own writing currently seems unequal to the task of being achingly funny, I’ll leave it to Smart Bee to find some mild hilarity for me…. I depend heavily on SB these days, and, so what? What’s it to ya? You don’t like that? Are you talkin’ to ME?….. Pardon me, while I do a Bob Hoskins in Good Fellows on you……

No, so, anyway, the following will be a randomly chosen pearl, with only a vague concept in mind, a vision of a big, goofy-looking face bearing a huge smile, and a mirthful, yet vacuous expression…. Strait, sparse little spikes of red hair on his cone-shaped head, sky-blue eyes, and a scruffy, unshaven, sparse beard…. big, ruffly clown collar…. you got the picture? Okay, let’s pearl….

“When I met th’POPE back in ’58, I scrubbed him with a MILD SOAP or DETERGENT for 15 minutes.  He seemed to enjoy it..” — Zippy the Pinhead

“We ain’t got hold of culture yet, but when we do get hold of her, we will adjust her and settler her down and make her hum and run like crazy.” — Smart Bee

“If there were no God, it would be necessary to invent him.” — Voltaire (1694-1778) — Epitre a l’Auteur du Livre des Trois Imposteurs, cxi

“Remember what the dormouse said…  FEED YOUR HEAD…” — Grace Slick

“You boys lookin’ for trouble?” “Sure. Whaddya got?” — Marlon Brando, “The Wild Ones”

“You can’t fall off the floor.” — Paul’s Law  “It takes children three years to learn Paul’s Law.” — Chapman’s Commentary on Paul’s Law

“It don’t mean a THING if you ain’t got that SWING!!” — Zippy the Pinhead
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If you believe that I have crossed any lines, or used an excessive number of Zippy quotes (Thanks, Bill….), you are free to file a complaint with the Board of Outraged Citizens; I think you can get the form online now…. Let’s see how it came out, in toto….

Well, it’s certainly long enough, and has its moments, so, we’ll let it fly…. I suppose they can’t all be masterpieces, but, though this makes it partway there, (it DOES have rants, and pearls, and good poetry….), it’s just not worthy of that sobriquet, and, I have to admit it would be nice to see ONE of them achieve that exalted status…. SIGH…. Frustrated ambition is the pits…. I guess I’ll give it up, and save myself the angst for something more accessible… 

  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3