Malcolm patented the “three days dead” look….


I cannot claim to be perfectly awake just yet, but, it’s time to get started, so you’ll just have to take what you get in that respect, because I’ve sat here diddling my brain and twiddling my fingers for a good thirty minutes now, with no real effect in terms of either feeling alert or displaying any coherency beyond what is needed to pour coffee…. Maybe if I take a few more sips of the only reason worth living for in the morning, I’ll find a little bit of energy….. I hope so…. That paragraph sucks….

I’m finding a bit of a Catch-22 connected to the use of the medical marijuana at night to aid in sleeping….. Applying some of the topical pain relieving cream is useful before lying down, as it helps relax enough to drift to sleep…. but, waking up to apply more is counter-productive, to say the least, as the act of spreading it where it needs to go causes enough pain to wake me…. I eat a high CBD chocolate about an hour & a half before retiring, which acts on pain, with added drowsiness effect, for about 4-6 hours; I have to wake up twice, minimally, to down a Norco during the night, but the chocolate often makes it less critical until it wears off…

That is the catch, the wearing off part…. If I take enough MJ to last the night, then the Norco isn’t as critical to be on time…. but, if I don’t take the Norco, I get the dyskinesia side effect after about 6 hours, right when the MJ is wearing off…. This means, at that point, even if I take what I need, I will be awake until it takes effect, whether that is 45 minutes for a Norco, , & up to 1½ hours for edible MJ…. So, I have to balance the 6 hour MJ effects with the minimum 4 hours of Norco effectiveness, and hope they work together…. It makes it tricky to get right, but, in the whole, I get a LOT more sleep than before I started using the MJ to augment the effects of the classic style pill…

There, now the medical report is over, and I’ve bored everyone to tears with my silly little personal issues, I suppose I should get on with what I actually started to do…. to wit: write the Pearl for today…. I guess I got off on a tangent there, and fell right into Chatty Cathy mode before I noticed….. Oh well, it got us enough dross and drivel to call an intro, so, that’s something, I guess….

Shall we Pearl?…..

“Of course I have a smart ass attitude…. it’s a natural defense against drama, stupidity, and bullshit.” — Tweety Bird

I originally intended to rant about this article, but, after perusing it myself, I find it’s only more proof of the prediction I made last week, as to how the pundits in Washington, (you know, those assholes who hang out at the White House, and in the halls of Congress), would be acting in the coming weeks,  after the poTUS (Please note: the word president is NOT capitalized deliberately; sufficient respect for the office to justify capitalization must be earned….) stated his intention to “ask Congress” to reform the NSA regulations on spying…. So far, the president has mouthed his lies just as predicted, and the expected response has gone exactly according to what I said would occur…. It’s a gift…..

No, really, they’re going through ALL the contortions I figured they would, just as if they were paying attention to what I said…. which makes it, sort of, lacking in virtue to rail at them right now…. They’re being so PATHETICALLY stupid, it’s hardly worth the time it takes to run them down, and, in fact, doing so might just be considered abusing the handicapped….

So we’ll do this… Read the article, so you know just what they’re up to, silly as it may be…. Right now, they’re just doing as I said, and creating more questions and confusion around the issue of the torture report Senator DiFi and the Senate want to see, while Obama came out with some new, toothless suggestions for changes to the regulations that don’t really change much of anything…. all of which is muddying water that was already unclear….

After that, come back to this section, where you’ll find the latter half of this pears, which will consist of an old-school pearl, with the parameters set, once again, to shoot at our beloved ruling class, in all its ugly glory….

“Official truths are often powerful illusions.” — John Pilger, _Distant_Voices_, 1992

“This isn’t Anarchy, this is Chaos.” — Smart Bee

“How difficult it is to save the bark of reputation from the rocks of ignorance.” — Petrarch

MACHINATION, n.  The method employed by one’s opponents in baffling one’s open and honorable efforts to do the right thing.

So plain the advantages of machination
It constitutes a moral obligation,
And honest wolves who think upon’t with loathing
Feel bound to don the sheep’s deceptive clothing.
So prospers still the diplomatic art,
And Satan bows, with hand upon his heart.

— Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

“I looked up the word “politics” in the dictionary and it’s actually a  combination of two words; “poli,” which means many, and “tics,” which means bloodsuckers.” — Jay Leno

“Every man’s life, liberty, and property are in danger when the Legislature is in session.” — Gideon J. Tucker

“By all means, take the moral high ground — all that heavenly back lighting  makes you a much easier target.” — Solomon Short

Not bad at all for a game of “pick up sticks”, post-neo-intellectual version, eh? I think, in truth, if any pundits forgot to duck, several of them COULD be bleeding now….


Today we’ll go with a poem of my own, in order to save embarrassment for anyone else, ‘kay?….. Here’s one I wrote in 2012, such as it is…..

Semblance of Time

The dreams and visions of modern times are pallid and pale
filled with fear and loathing instead of joy and wonder.
Reality is aging poorly, submitting less data to loudly regale
Sad faded images lacking substance, or proof of thunder.

Sisters and brothers of nightly performance speak in spite
building up scars to protect, or keep a semblance of sanity.
Knowing illusion is near and dear, steeped in muscular delight
while compassion and intelligence get smothered by humanity.

Loneliness soon became the friend of many sizes of fools
stealing through mazes of social tests as if truly wise, or old
while companies of sterile opportunity are hiding their tools
from anyone who might be feeling even a little bit bold.

Painful momentary flashes seem to outline society’s fate
until soft, heavy monuments to elder gods fall from grace.
We’re all getting tired of being told we’re far too late
and never ever nearing tolerance, nor regaining any face.

A hard message awaits us all when we dare to even stay
of life’s uncaring disposition and curmudgeonly faux heart
Only with the strength of a hero may such tales make way
Only a poet may turn such pain into a valid work of art.

~~ gigoid ~~


It’s looking now as if the ol’ brain just isn’t going to fire up today….. I’ve managed to fake it so far, which is fine, but, it’s going to take a strong effort to resist the urge to include a rant this morning…. If I don’t, (resist the urge, that is….), the results could be catastrophic, to say the least…. So, because we can, we’ll fall back on another old-school pearl to fill in this final section, thus preserving both the lives, and the integrity of our passengers…..

That’s fortunate, because we just couldn’t afford another set of lawsuits…. My lawyer is getting far too rich mitigating the aftereffects of my bozoid tendencies…. For now, let’s enjoy a random, parameter-less, harlequin pearl, our finest, most popular product….

“I don’t think it would have all got me down quite so much if just once in a while- just once in a while- there was at least some polite little perfunctory implication that knowledge should lead to wisdom, and that if it doesn’t, it’s just a disgusting waste of time.” — J.D. Salinger, Franny & Zooey

The rhino is a homely beast,
For human eyes he’s not a feast.
Farewell, farewell, you old rhinoceros,
I’ll stare at something less prepoceros.

— Ogden Nash (1902-1971)

“Noise proves nothing.  Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.” — Mark Twain (1835-1910)

“It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.” — Arthur C. Clarke

“Sick cultures show a complex of symptoms … but a *dying* culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Loss of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot.” — Friday’s boss, aka “Kettle Belly” or “Mr. Two-Canes” Baldwin…. from the book “Friday” by Robert A. Heinlein

“Laws do not persuade just because they threaten.” — Seneca, 65 AD

“Though thou be destined to live three thousand years and as many myriads besides, yet remember that no man loseth other life than that which he liveth, nor liveth other than that which he loseth.” — Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121-180 AD) — Meditations, ii, 14


Well, having subjected myself to the indignity of reading this whole thing, editing for errors and punching up style, as far as possible, I can truthfully say…. I’m done. No judgments I make could be accurate, given both my closeness to the material, and my lack of brain-function this morning, which has NOT improved in the two plus hours since I began staring at the screen…. If you’ll recall, it took me thirty minutes to be able to write a coherent sentence then…. I’m having the same struggle now, here at the end….

SIGH… Okay, I’ve whined enough for one day…. Now I have to go do battle with bureaucrats and business assholes, always two of my least favorite pastimes…. I have to deal with the Kaiser Pharmacy, Pat’s pharmacy, and a large wireless company…. Oh, joy…..

See ya, ffolkes, provided I can do all of this today without having to kill anyone….. It can be a near thing, sometimes, if I happen to run across a particularly stupid bureaucrat, or one of those empty-headed millennial denizens, making less than minimum wage, part-time in a wireless store…. What is it with those companies? Do they use a reverse IQ test to pick their employees, or what?…. Okay, I’ll stop ranting in the closing section now, and be off…. Ta then….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid the dubious


It only performs when titillated…..


In the interests of public safety, and by local statute, I am required to make the following announcement: Caution! Operator carries no caffeine! Do not put your hands in the cage. Do not speak to the operator while writing. Do not look at the operator while writing. In fact, just go away….

Okay, so the last one isn’t really in there, and, you don’t have to go away…. But, the rest is true, and good advice at this point, if a bit frantic, due to a late afternoon attack by one of Murphy’s minions yesterday, one with results much more far reaching than his usual shenanigans….. It was a real pisser, and I’m lucky I didn’t bite myself, it was so infuriating….

After a day of agonizing pain in my neck, which kept me down and out most of the day, I was dutifully, and, manfully, considering the still-present pita (pain in the neck, see? pita…. c’mon, keep up!….) cleaning up the kitchen, when I opened the coffee maker to prepare my coffee for this morning (the coffee maker is one that can be programmed to start at a set time…. heavenly!….). The machine’s getting a bit old, and Murphy decided the moment was the perfect time to have it break, in such a way as it is not repairable….. the bloody arsehole…

The plastic neck that delivers the hot water to the brew basket, to drip, cracked clean through; if used in this state, the hot water would proceed to cover the entire sink and counter where the coffee machine lives…. I’m actually lucky I noticed it break; if I hadn’t, the disaster would have been of major proportion, as it would have actually kept me from getting ANY coffee, and would no doubt have sent me into a towering rage, and subsequent riot, wherein the coffee maker would have most likely gotten tossed through the nearest window, thus requiring embarrassing explanations to the neighbors….

Though I’m pretty sure y’all don’t much give a shit about my hassles to obtain coffee, society knows better, and requires the above disclaimer if I am deprived of the necessary dose of it within a few moments of arising. It’s the law, which was enacted the last time it happened, in 1989…. you might have seen the news reports, though my lawyer tried to have them played down, and did manage to not have the law bear my name, like it does when some sex offender gets a law passed because of their actions, or named after a victim of some kind…

In my own case, there were no deaths, and only minor injuries, mostly to me, and my property…. But, it required a strong police and fire department presence to control the resultant events, and a number of officers got frightened so badly, they’re still in therapy…. The upshot is, I am required to have my first cup of very strong coffee, complete with accouterments, defined as sugar and cream, within two minutes of arising, and I am not allowed to associate with anything more complex than a toilet until that is accomplished. It’s better that way for everyone, so I don’t really have a problem with it, until stuff like this happens….

Murphy KNOWS that coffee is a legal requirement around here, and he delights in making it harder for me to stay on the right side of that legal line in the sand…. Hence, I now have to make a trip to a store today, to get a new machine, just for starters….. This morning, just to add insult to injury, it was necessary for me to heat up water on the stove, in a pan, and pour it through the coffee basket, with the machine off, in order to get any coffee at all, which, as you may guess, did NOT make me a happy camper…. I swear, if that Irish assbite ever manifests himself in front of me in such a way as to allow me to lay hands on him, he will not forget the pain for a very long time….

Now that the morning paean to coffee, and the habitual, almost required discussion complaint about Murphy’s latest version of humorous rudeness, has been composed, we can go on to other stuff…. I would say, given what I’ve seen so far, that is probably a good thing…. Quite frankly, this intro sucks big time….. but, like a wart, there it sits, so what are we to do? Well, I know what I’m gonna do….

Shall we Pearl….

This is the coolest thing! If you are a fan of Doctor Who, you will appreciate this, and may already know about it…. In my short stint of surfing yesterday (pain kept me off the computer a LOT yesterday….), I found the link below…. Following it will bring you to a Google map, which is of Earl Road, in London, England….

The map soon dissolves to show a picture of the street, with a blue Police telephone box in the center of the picture. If one clicks on the two white arrows that appear in the street in front of the box, the scene switches to a virtual view of the inside of the box, which happens to be the TARDIS, the Doctor’s sentient space-time travel machine….,-0.19092&spn=0.005291,0.013937&sll=51.492140,-0.193028&layer=c&cid=12502927659667388442&panoid=c9UMhWP_MWm9U0L48xEjYw&cbp=13,291.8,,0,18.86&gl=US&t=m&cbll=51.492132,-0.192862&z=17

The scene shown inside the box is a virtual tour of the entire TARDIS interior, and the user can scroll around to view all the parts, though there is no Doctor present to guide the tour….. Regardless, it’s a great little easter egg from Google, and fun to play with for a while…. And, it serves as a way to keep me from subjecting y’all to a rant here in the first section…. Instead, I offer this little bit of fun, and hope you enjoy the time spent checking it out.

“I taught I taw a puddy tat.” — Tweety

It may not be clear from what has gone before, but, my head today is in a very, very strange place. I’m not sure why, or what has brought it on, but, strange it is…. It’s one of those days when I am unsure of just how I will react to any stimulus from others, so, I generally try to stay to myself on such days…. It also gives me a strange, if not altogether weird, impulse toward complex poetry, to match the feeling in my head (which, I understand, is a contradiction in terms…. feelings belong elsewhere than in the head….)…. For this, I almost always turn to this poet to furnish an appropriate verse or two….


The abstracts hover like dull angels:
Nothing so vulgar as a nose or an eye
Bossing the ethereal blanks of their face-ovals.

Their whiteness bears no relation to laundry,
Snow, chalk or suchlike. They’re
The real thing, all right: the Good, the True . . .

Salutary and pure as boiled water,
Loveless as the multiplication table.
While the child smiles into thin air.

Six months in the world, and she is able
To rock on all fours like a padded hammock.
For her, the heavy notion of Evil

Attending her cost less than a bellyache,
And Love the mother of milk, no theory.
They mistake their star, these papery godfolk.

They want the crib of some lamp-headed Plato.
Let them astound his heart with their merit.
What girl ever flourished in such company?

~~ Sylvia Plath ~~


Subjects suitable for a rant have presented themselves to my attention several times in the last few days….

The BRC continues its thrashing around in the throes of embarrassment, trying to repair the damage to their credibility that the clandestine spying they’ve been up to has caused in the public, as well as the exposure threatened to all the other attempts to distract us from what they are doing behind the scenes…..

The Catholic bishops are scurrying around trying to figure out “What were we thinking, when we elected this idiot as Pope?!”, while the new Pope himself is busily meeting with the people on the streets, telling them, if only by example, he is going to clean out the corrupt bishops who elected him… Well, he hasn’t actually SAID that, but, his actions thus far seem to indicate that he isn’t going to go along with the agenda they had prepared for him, and may actually be trying to bring the church into the new millennium…. Not that it makes any great difference to me, but, a LOT of people regard his words as their own guide to reality, so what he says and does can directly affect society at large….

There have been other, just as juicy articles that spelled out some new outrageous government policy, or some new outrage on the public by a police officer, or some new instance of prosecution of an elected official for stealing money from the public coffers…. Stuff like this happens every day, and, in truth, has gotten to the point where it is hard to decide which one to address….

Now, me, I’m lazy, that’s been demonstrated beyond a shadow of doubt in the past…. Therefore, even the process of decision making gets streamlined in terms of effort by my brain, which is extremely adroit at figuring out the path of least resistance (long practice helps there….). Hence, this random, harlequin, old-school pearl, with only the most meager of constraints placed on Smart Bee in regards choosing appropriate pearls… As long as fun is being poked, I’m good with it, and so should you be….

“I already know I’m paranoid.  The question is, am I paranoid enough?” — Smart Bee

“Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.” — P.J. O’Rourke

“I like a bit of a mongrel myself, whether it’s a man or a dog; they’re the best for every day.” — George Bernard Shaw  1856-1950, Misalliance [1910], episode I

“The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper” — Thomas Jefferson

IDIOT, n.  A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.  The Idiot’s activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but “pervades and regulates the whole.”  He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable.  He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.  — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

“He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.” — Albert Camus

“I realize that I’m generalizing here, but as is often the case when I  generalize, I don’t care.” — Dave Barry

Well, that came out better than I had hoped, or imagined…. well done, SB…. or, should that be, well, done, SB…. ?….. Either way, it seems…..

Given the handicaps under which I’ve struggled in order to complete this morning’s effort, I consider it a job well done, no matter how it came out… How did it come out? Let’s see…..

Okay, well, that’s way better than I’d hoped, or expected; I can easily attribute it to serendipity, which, in my life, is generally accompanied by a gleeful expression of joyful feeling, such as “Look what I found!”, or “Whoopee, I struck gold!”, or other such heartfelt exposition. Consider it said, and we’ll call it square, okay?….

I know it’s good, or at least, okay, because there weren’t any typos I could find…. at least, not in the first pass; however, it still has to cross Murphy’s desk, and the WP new-post editor, either of which could make their own, unapproved and unwanted, changes, usually without my knowledge…. Just remember, when it left my desk, it was pristine…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.



Breaking fast with Nimrods….

When I awoke this morning, little did I know that destiny had plans for me, and they weren’t the kind of plans that would send me into ecstatic paroxysms of joy….. As I stepped into my slippers, I could hear the front door opening. Curious, I walked out of the bedroom, only to see my Inspiration look up, start in panic, and shoot out the door at a dead run.

Without thinking, I broke out after him, hoping I could catch him before I ran out of juice. Fortunately, I was able to catch him by the hood of his sweatshirt near the front gate, and hauled him back to the house, cursing and spitting at me. I threw him into the corner & told him to pipe down; only then was I able to pour a cup of coffee, and try to catch my breath….

Once the coffee hit, I asked my Inspiration what the morning race was all about, but he was just sulking, staring at the wall. Since it was obvious that he won’t be worth anything today, I sat down to just start this in a modified Joyce voice, using events as they occurred to create today’s intro.

It’s sort of cheating, but not really, as it does stretch my skills to try to make it at least slightly interesting, and it saves the time and energy it would take to talk my Inspiration out of his snit. So, we will just get on with it, and dive into the primary activity of this blog…. shall we Pearl?…..

A wise man once said …”I don’t know.” — (Very) Smart Bee

Three little words. Three very powerful little words. “I don’t know.” Many people seem to believe that there is something inherently wrong about using this phrase. They can’t seem to bring themselves to admit that they don’t have all the answers, and will spout all sorts of nonsense in trying to avoid using these three words. I’m not certain just why they are like that, I only know that it is true, as it happens all the time.

Apparently these folks believe that admitting to ignorance of a subject makes them stupid, by association, I guess. So, they will lie, or deny, or distract, or make something up, to cover up the fact that they don’t know something, rather than take the time to learn what they need to know. It’s a very childish reaction, but seems to be one that most adults aren’t willing to give up….

“Where ignorance is our master, there is no possibility of real peace.” — Dalai Lama

In reality, “I don’t know” doesn’t mean one is stupid; it only means you don’t know, and admitting you don’t know is the necessary first step in learning ANYTHING. Our society places a high value on people who know the answers, and conversely, stigmatize ignorance, making it difficult for anyone to admit to it.

It’s one of those Catch-22 issues of which people are so fond; if you already know, then you are lionized, if you don’t, you are reviled. So, people, not wanting to be reviled, refuse to admit their lack of knowledge, opting to either ignore or deny the need for it, or devalue the questions, thus devaluing the answers.

Ignorance can be cured.  Stupid is forever. — Smart Bee

In order to get past the stigma, one must, quite simply, grow up. It isn’t a mature reaction to allow ignorance to flourish in order to avoid stigma; an adult learns to ignore such criticism as being irrelevant to the need to learn. Of course, as a rule, most folks in society aren’t mature, as they have been indoctrinated from an early age to cultivate immaturity, to surrender their will and thoughts to the beloved ruling class, who prefer a constituency that is as ignorant as possible, the better to maintain control. They don’t WANT a mature society, they want one that is easily manipulable, and the ignorant are far easier to manipulate than the educated…..

So, don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know”; it’s okay to say, as long as you use the lack of knowledge as a motivation to learn what is needed. Besides, for all those married men out there, “I don’t know” is indubitably the best response you can give to ANY question from your wife; it’s the only response with which no fault may be found or placed. Any other response is liable to be ill-received, and we all know what happens then….  Take it from me, in those cases, pleading ignorance is the BEST answer you can give….

“Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.” — T. S. Eliot

Am was

am was. are leaves few this. is these a or
scratchily over which of earth dragged once
-ful leaf. & were who skies clutch an of poor
how colding hereless. air theres what immense
live without every dancing. singless on-
ly a child’s eyes float silently down
more than two those that and that noing our
gone snow gone
yours mine.
alive and shall be:cities may overflow(am
was) assassinating whole grassblades, five
ideas can swallow a man; three words im
-prison a woman for all her now: but we’ve
such freedom such intense digestion so
much greenness only dying makes us grow

E. E. Cummings

A perfect example by Cummings of what Eliot was expressing…. enjoy!

Poets go from bard to verse. — Smart Bee (Sorry, really, it won’t happen again….)
    I’m not adding anything to this, as it states its message perfectly well all by itself. It also acts as a nice little finish to the discussion above…. Viva la raza!…..

Now, some might say that using two pieces of art is cheating, but I must disagree, as they both are adequate pearls on their own merit. As part of a larger Pearl, they fit quite well, so, as with any criticism with which I disagree, it will be cheerfully ignored…. Both pictures were found on Facebook….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.